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Hi cherly, thanks for your encouraging and very nice note. Wow 32.5kg!!!i would die to be at that weight and right now i am going to work so damn hard and get as low as possible...whats your secret? i mean what did you do to get that low? i know that u think you are fat and i know that i'll never feel thin no matter how emaciated but right now i would be so damn glad to be in the 30's. take care***

from veggiepunk :

hey, i just wanted to congratulate you that you've reached the 30-range, i mean i would just go crazy if i even reached 40 kg which i am really working hard for...my goal is now 35 kg and if i just work so damn hard and just stick to just drinking 2l of water a day and nothing else i might be atleast 40 or less in like 5 months right...Now i know that you don't feel thin at all and its so understandable but i just wanted to ask u not to take it so much for granted and i know that it is so hard cause i am ana myself but its just that 5 months ago i was almost emaciated and i just took it so much for granted and now i wished i could turn back time and be tiny and skeletal again and it hurts so much and i miss it so damn much and i just don't want anyone else to go through what i am going thru right now, especially not you! I just wish you all the best. Take care***

from fatalbreath :

I'm locking it now... user/pass is fatalbreath same as my old diary.

from fatalbreath :

Ha... yea know what I knew that too... wow I must've been out of it... yeah I get it, I do that sometimes too... never purge though. *sigh*

from fatalbreath :

I know must sound stupid, but what's c/s?

from pornoviolent :

speaking as a guy here, one who has dated fucking runway models, they have curves okay? guys like flesh to sink their hands into, not skin and bones. girls should be soft and yielding to the touch. besides, guys like you to be obsessed with them, not calories and fucking running around all oddy-knocky in your noggin. ya dig?

from veggiepunk :

hey girl! I saw all of your pictures and i have to tell you that i think that you are a very beautiful and very thin girl, believe me! i would die to be at 36 kg, that is in fact my goal that i intend to reach in november, it would be a present for me. I can relate to everything you write that i wished that i knew you personally, i think we would be good friends! Take care!

from fatalbreath :

Hey I've been reading your diary lately... I'm starting to update in this one, fatalbreath, but you can check out my old one, wat-ser-face... I update it sometimes, but I'd rather the people I know didn't read what's in my new one. You're an inspiration.

from xf0r3verx :

hi there, look im going to start by saying that i agree with everyone else here -that u are REALLY pretty- secondly, i am 55kg. i must seem extreamly fat to you dont i? well im not. people are forever telling me to eat more because im thin. at 30something kg you must be a tiny little wafer. i know you dont feel pretti, or thin, but everyone else sees it. stop concertrating on the food aspect and look at the great things about yourself. -plus because u keep throwing it all up, ur body is going to try to latch onto any food that DOES manage to stay in ur body. thats why your weighing alot after a meal (going from 30-38 after eatn that seafood etc) your body is going to start attacking your organs soon and you'll probably die. its stuffing you up and soon enough its going to have a wide effect on your friends and family. you need help ok. im only saying this because ive been reading your diary for a long time now and it saddens me that know that you go through such pain. -just think about it k, and PLEASE if u ever need to just talk to someone *i promise i wnt say a thing* please get on msn and talk to me, or gimmie a note at my diary to contact you. there are people who love you ya know. -*hugs*- Larissa ([email protected])

from bloodkiss :

yeah..from TKGS. lol. which sch r u from?

from jazzyana :

When your body is dehydrated it will hang on to extra liquids and make you retain water. If I were you I would try to drink a lot of liquids and maybe take some water pills at the same time. Just don't quit drinking liquids!

from jazzyana :

I think you look great in your 40-41 kg pics. Your arms are so tiny! I might say you look best in your most recent pics, but I couldn't see your body much, because of the uniform. You are beautiful =).

from ariel0316 :

i like the one from march the best. 42-43 looks the best on you, in my opinion. you look so happy, healthy and alive in those pictures. you are so beautiful! these are the first pics i've seen of you and i think you are absolutely gorgeous.

from bloodkiss :

i think you look so pretty in 14th Feb!! 42-43kg definitely. When you were at your lowest, your face looks very pale and unspirited. Kind of like wasting away. But 42-43kg, you look so radiant and pretty! rock on. xx

from bl00dysundae :

Hey, I've been reading your diary for a bit. I like it loads. And I honestly think the weight you are at right now is perfect! I wish I were as beautiful as you are. Take care =)

from sarahbum :

I am going to unlock my diary, so no worries on not having a username/password. Sorry if it gave you any troubles. xoxo Sarah *Stay Strong*

from comfortm :

i had to look my diary. heres the username:thiscantbe password:life please keep reading!

from sarahbum :

I just wanted to tell you that i added you to my buddy list. xoxo Sarah

from numbers-game :

I noticed you have me on your faves list, so I wanted you to know that I had to lock my diary. If you would like to read it please email me at [email protected]. I don't want to write the username/password here because I am too paranoid (some people I know IRL have read my diary).

from jazzyana :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope that all your wishes come true! We all care and love you here!

from homerismygod :

i hope you're doing okay hunnie bun! xoxo

from feelsnothing :

you are tiny!! 41.3 kgs thats like 91 pounds....I would die to weigh 91 pounds!

from xoxrissaxox :

Your a wonderful human being, it shouldnt matter how much you weigh. its the person inside that counts. Your beautiful -inside and out- all youve gotta do is believe. my thoughts are always wif you. hang in there girl. xox

from parlance :

I want to think of words of encouragement to tell you, but I'd feel awful if I did, because I don't really know what it's like to be in your position..

from feelsnothing :

I know how you feel. It seems the more weight I loose the fatter I feel. It seems that we are so similar (or at least when it comes to our behavior).

from bloodkiss :

stay strong XXX

from bloodkiss :

i thought you looked skinny. i mean, u know i am a s'porean, and if you can see those skinny ones... they are as thin as rails, and they dont have any boobs or butts even. is that true beauty? I know our main goal is to be skinny, but we want skinny with some flesh, not skinny with bones. the last time i checked, guys look for nice figure, not stick thin. =) so relax.. im sure at 45kg, your bmi is damn low.

from feelsnothing :

Well, yes, depression is a big problem but so is an ED. You cant talk a true ED down.

from emadream :

Thanks for your note but I'm definitely less academically inclined than you. Just look at my Math and Science results. And believe me, I'm not pretty. My hair looks gross and so do my eyes. My face is fat and my body is disfigured with fats. You're way prettier than me. No one would call you ugly but I'm objectively ugly. I agree with you on the point that we co-exist to help each other out. I'm glad that I've got the chance to know you cos although I've known you for just 16 months or so, there's no one who understands me like you do, no one has ever confided in me like you have. Maybe getting retained's a blessing in disguise? I'm not sure but I'm really happy to have you as my special friend. I hope to keep seeing you in school. You take good care of yourself, girl.

from meansie :

thanx for tt sweet entry... there're other factors tt almost lead to moi death though... honestly, i find u very pretty, i love your hair n your eyes!!! u're better den mi academically, i enjoy reading ur lit n el essay n u're a grt help to me esp durin lit coz tt stupid egyptian maid is so biased!!! i guess we have to co exist to help each other out... w/o u, i probably disfigured myself, landed in hospital for abusing panadols or even died... i wldnt have gone thru last yr so smoothly n im so glad i've found someone like u, someone who totally understands what im going thru, someone who stood by me in such traumatic times... someone tt i cld relate to... u're so special to me... if i got to choose u between my sis or my hamsters, it's u for sure... words cannot explain how much i truely admire u... thanx cheryl for being there for mi, i love u

from imanobody00 :

Hey, I've had you on my buddy list.. hope you don't mind. I saw your picture a few days ago and you are VERY pretty. I know that probably doesn't mean anything to you because you can't see it.. but I just thought I would tell you anyways. I relate to alot of things in your diary, I really hope one day you will be able to see how beautiful you truely are... Take care.

from bloodkiss :

hi. oh gosh, i am feeling the same way you do. all the time. i wish we know why we are all here for. it's just a waste of time. just kill me and send to heaven/hell. by looking at the deeds i have done... no doubt im heading straight to hell. *all my love XOXO take care. anyway, i took in two tablets of dulcolax.

from punkonacloud :

Hey! I love your diary, you're one of my favourites so I read often. I must admit I never knew what you looked like till today. You are so beautiful, and its heart-breaking, because obviously you cant see it. I was stunned, I really was just dumbstruck by your beauty. The thought that you had to bite your lip to stop crying when faced with a reflection that beautiful is tragic. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Take care of yourself though... okay?

from veggiepunk :

Hey, me again...look i really love your diary. you write so good, sometimes when im reading it i almost cry because i can really relate and i know what you go through, i saw the pics ...i didn't know you're a an asian...from which country are you. im guessing japan! i don't know if you know this but i love asians! i feel like in my previous life i was from asia. do you believe in previous life? you are really a pretty girl!

from bloodkiss :

hey girl...you abuse laxatives, too? well, if so, i can so relate to you. yup, i wish we could all squeeze our fats off. but we can't. take care. *all my love XOXO

from veggiepunk :

hi, cherly ...my name is mina but i go by the name veggiepunk here on diaryland. well i kinda stumbled on your diary and i really loved it, i can really relate to all you write in there cause i'm pro-ana myself and want to be the thinnest person alive. you are an incredible good writer and you seem to be a very nice person too, don't get why people can't see that! Take care

from meansie :

it's mi darlin, i love u lots, pls hang in there for mi... u noe i'll be too lonely in sch w/o u... i noe how u feel coz we're alike in certain waes... dun give in to temptation... i'll be there for u... love u alwaz, bernie

from feelsnothing :

I know how you feel. If no one cares then it doesnt matter if you die. I think about it all the time.

from emadream :

thank you:)))

from feelsnothing :

i like your diary

from awake-under :

Hi emadream. I just wanted to let you know that I've been reading and that I really love your diary. Some of the things you write, I have had the same thoughts and feelings, so it feels good to know that I'm not alone, although I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time :(. I hope you're doing ok, *hugs* Lots of love, awake-under

from jazzyana :

hi ema, I was just reading about how much you say your parents always send you to the best and expensive doctors. Do you go to therapy? I think you are in a good position to see a counselor, it might help you with your depression. We love you! Jenni

from imanobody00 :

Just wanted to say hello and let you know I added you to my buddy list. I enjoyed reading... and understand your fight w/ food all too well. Hang in there :)

from ariel0316 :

Hi. I hope you don't mind that I added you to my friends list. I went through the same thing with weight and food when I was your age and I feel your pain. I also know what it is to feel worthless and unloved. We aren't though. People just don't understand us. Keep up the good fight.

from jazzyana :

Hi, Hi ! I just wanted to say I found your diary today and I really enjoyed reading it. Hope you don't mind if I add you to my favs. =)

from comfortm :

hi i noticed i'm on your friends list...i had to lock my diary for personal reasons for a week or so so i am giving you the password etc... username: thiscantbe pass:life keep reading thanks.

from comfortm :

hi i noticed i'm on your friends list...i had to lock my diary for personal reasons for a week or so so i am giving you the password etc... username: thiscantbe pass:life keep reading thanks.

from angelkitt65 :

Just wanted to drop a note and say hey! I used to take Dulcolax a couple of times....hell 2 would do the trick i can't imagine taking 10 everday. Good luck with your new year resolutions. Take care!

from lilgirl-lost :

i'm adding you to my favorites list, your writing is quite impressive. good luck with losing!

from awake-under :

Hi there! I just saw you added me to your favorite diary list, thanks! I'll add you back! You're diary looks great, I'll be reading :) Take care!

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