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After searching for a good read on Diaryland I finally came upon yours.I know how you feel about the whole friends thing, it's sad but true. Look forward to reading more of you.

from zillioneyes :

you're a coward.

from nothim :

I'll keep it in mind but I haven't desided if I will or not.

from nothim :

If I leave diaryland do you want to know where I move to?

from edwin :

sometimes i wonder how you are, i hope you get over your depression. i got over mine and life i would say has become a lot better. be well.

from nothim :

Is there nothing I can do for you sweetie?

from nothim :

I thought it was funny enough to leave them but if you say so........

from nothim :

GA! I did it again! Take a look at my notes.

from nothim :

shakes head* Only some rules are not to be broken but most are.

from nothim :

And as far as sleeping goes I can't before 6 or 7 a.m. and I alsa wake up around 2 or 3. My "problem" with my tattoos is every time I get a new one, I have two, I think of a new one I want. Right now I have "three" flying around my brain. My big one, my REALLY big one may end up being more than just one so I'm not sure any more how many I want.

from nothim :

Laughs* Thank you! Fondles* I should be finding out if I get my bike in like ten minutes so if I do and if I get this date I�m after then everything is going good� if none of that happens then I�m going to be getting another tattoo in a few days and everything will be good because, you know, getting a tattoo is like sex for me�. And sometimes BETTER!! You didn�t answer my question by the way.

from nothim :

Do you have any tattoos?

from nothim :

Well then maybe you'll have to change my view sometime.

from nothim :

I just answered you on my notes thinking I was on your notes... so ya, it's kind of late. SO I said, "O my god life is good. It's 4 am and I should sleep."

from nothim :

So true and I do understand wanting to teach, as I still do, but like you said it's nice to be rocked. I wish I had time to say more but I have 20 minutes to shower and get dressed for work.

from nothim :

I have inter net again.

from nothim :

I would love to tell you how much that state sucks starting with the new gov. but I don't have much internet time any more and this may be the last time I'm online for some time. I love Seattle and Washington is just so damn beautiful.

from nothim :

I can't remember what it was I was going to do after asking you something. I'm sure it was something good... I'm eating the best chocolate but I think it's going to make me sick. By the way, who are you? I'm Jonathon. I think I should go to bed now, need to be up in two hours. I would like to know more about you, why you added my diary... I don't read diaries much any more... Do watch out for the cats, they may start purring and then you'll just have to pet them.

from swimmmer72 :

good for you!! there is a lot that goes into a sexual relationship that works for both people, and your spending the time learning seems to have paid off with an appreciation for what you need sex to be for you. more power to you! :)

from swimmmer72 :

you raise some interesting questions about relationships. at what point does a trend turn into what you are and how can you get out of it once it turns into a pattern you want to change? i ask myself the same questions, and i have no answers. i find myself TRYING to find myself, since i don't know where the sociable, eager to trust person i once was went to. if you want a husband and kids, don't stray too far away from that lest you find yourself unable to find your way back.

from swimmmer72 :

wow!!! you disappeared for what 4 months? and so much has happened to you!!! i feel so bad for your problems and the turmoil in your life. i hope things get better!

from kityn :

password pls?

from grrldreds :

Hey, I am doing a study on ravers for my university and if you would be interested in filling out a survey it would really help me out. Everything is confidential. If you have any questions or would like to take the survey you can email me at [email protected].

from swimmmer72 :

you are ben's loss, not the reverse. besides that, the taxi cab story was pretty cool! i hope your holidays are nice. i should know what you celebrate this time of year; i used to, but...i apologize for forgetting. hope the move works out for you!! :)

from swimmmer72 :

wow!, awesome political statement!! and i agree completely. seems like SOMEONE is losing track of SOMETHING that we, as americans, are supposed to be all about.. on another note, when my cat was 18 years old, the vet determined that her kidneys were shutting down. after assuring me that she was in no pain, we went through a process where i would carry her to the vet about every 10 days and he would drain her with this big syringe. she lasted another 3 months like this, and i treasure the extra time i had with her. :)

from swimmmer72 :

just my opinion, but since he seems to have done everything right SO far, i wouldn't wait to get back to him. i wouldn't go overboard on a response, but just a classy, "hey, thanks for the quick call, SOOOO good to hear from a man of his word... your turn..." something like that. have some fun with it!! :)

from swimmmer72 :

people define themselves by who they surround themselves with. just an opinion, but i have always thought that you do better by surrounding yourself with people that motivate, elevate, and energize you to be a better person. it seems like you have made the right move. :)

from swimmmer72 :

the other consequence of lowering your standards is that as soon as the RIGHT-SIGNIFICANT-OTHER comes along, after you have lowered your standards, you end up being that much less appealing, and the person you dream of being with decides you don't meet THEIR standards. which would be pretty ironic, huh? you made the right choice - keep your standards high, eventually it will be worth it. :)

from swimmmer72 :

you really have done some interesting things, i.e., going to israel, kibbutz, etc, and seen a lot, and made good decisions as a result. you've let life affect you, and that is a good thing. for one, it has given you strength and wisdom. you will get through your current troubles because of this, and be able to move on. :)

from spidersoma :

don't get so defensive about politics, rachel. you vote how you vote and let other people vote how they vote and whatever happens happens. let the chips fall as they may. but please don't attack people for not agreeing with you.

from swimmmer72 :

you're exactly right. it's an unfortunate mindset - we don't want to be lonely, but we push others away. i have had it done to me, and have done it myself. not even sure why, besides being a huge defense mechanism. too bad it has to be that way and i'm not sure how much i can consciously change. i realize i do it after the fact, and end up kicking myself for it.

from swimmmer72 :

i wonder how many of those people who have american flags splashed all over their car somehow didn't get around to vote...?

from iamen :

you are swell.

from swimmmer72 :

i don't think you can love another until you learn to love yourself, and that won't happen until you get to know yourself, and that won't happen until you spend time ALONE with yourself. you are doing the roght thing, it just takes time. :)

from swimmmer72 :

i think a key aspect to being happy is by spending the time to get to know yourself. too many people get consumed within their relationship and don't consider the importance of accepting themselves as an individual. good luck to you. :)

from raven72d :

Read Paul Bowles' "The Sheltering Sky" and "Let It Come Down"... Green eyes... I love the 15 Oct. 02 images...

from proudnerd :

Hi, Rachel.

from ieatcheerios :

AHH you were in B.C.. you gotta come to Toronto then you'll see why im so bitter about this hott weather.. example today it was 31*C (thats.. about 88*F) and most people think Canadian's live in igloo's... im starting to wish i did..

from ieatcheerios :

hey thats my sister who left you a note before..that Tawnee always doing things before i can..lol.. anyways yes it is a Canadian conspiricy to have hott weather even though its suppost to be cold! Where in Canada were you when you were here ?

from tawnee :

awww thanks hun..that means alot...yes i know there are those boys at the bars, but maybe i just dont make my way to them...or maybe i just dont allow myself to get to KNOW these boys, cause i figure they are only out for one thing....hmmmm....makes me think.... Well your great hun....:) love always *tawns*

from iwantitbad :

hang in there rach. xoxoxo

from cherryxbomb :

Hello, i was wondering since you have the goldmembership, if you can help me fix my diary? i asked my friend to do it and she just left it like how it is, and i don't like it. so email me with any [email protected]. Thank you.

from raven72d :

You have great tastes in lit and film... And I love your entries and layout...

from pink-sparkle :

awww thanks hun! Ya you should TOTALLY come up to ontario! Its the place to be, thats for sure:) well take care hun...your too great:) *tawns*

from autumnal :

have you read 'some of the dharma' by kerouac?

from an6elo :

i hope you feel better.

from an6elo :

quite interesting how i find a new entry every hour on your diary. don't get me wrong, i love reading each and everyone of them. =o)

from an6elo :

Hi. New to your diary. Very insightful, by the way. But yeah, i was reading your 6-30 entry... very curious. What do you mean by "shower where you know youre getting play later...." but then say, "a long as it doesnt turn into something its not...we are just friends." Like i said, curiousity getting the best of me. Hello, by the way.

from iamen :

yes, we do. we are not who you think we are, we are not who we think we are. that's our downfall, every last one of us. misidentity and irrationality. watch for two such characters in a little over a week. they'll be bipedal...

from jackpage :

So, it looks as tho' I'm coming to SF. Right on. Until, J. Page

from pink-sparkle :

Three tawnyas eh? Wow, im impressed. What are the odds of that happening. :)

from iamen :

might be in town last weekend this month. 29th, saturday last i checked. on a beat venture north, big sur, santa cruz, frisco, then east bay to parts unknown to me. i'd dig to meet, and become an urban dweller with you and dbg. interested?

from pink-sparkle :

ohh thanks so much for listing me as a favorite ! that made my day, and put a smile on my face *yes the little things do that!*. I was reading your diary, and i love it, so you go on my favorites;) Neways ill definatly be back, and expect more notes from me *as i live on diaryland!* haha..:) have a nice day hun, and enjoy life:) *tawns*

from tony-sison :

hiya and thanks for the sympathy. anyone who knows me, knows that i do too much stuff whether its work or personal. i usually don't take care of myself too well and get sick often althought that normally doesn't stop me. what's frustrating is that when things seem cool, something like allergies pop up and totally arrest me. so i take a pill and now i am loopy. talk to you later.

from iamen :

i dig to visit. my housemate, who turns 21 tonight at midnight, is moving to the bay area, (Pacifica?) and i'll be visiting him i'm sure. i'm merely working this summer, so plans will be soon in materializing. hangin in the city catching the vibe, right on!

from tony-sison :

hmmm... i went to the dakota on a trip to nyc last year.

from tony-sison :

RE: "Howl", urban squalor, trips to City Lights, etc. to be honest, i really did feel guilty for thinking "how cliche!" b/c if someone is really into/feeling it then i'm all for it. hell, i went to abbey road and walked across the zebra crosswalk just b/c the beatles did it. and took photos of the studio b/c the beatles, pink floyd, spiritualized, etc. all recorded there. surely some local saw me and said "how cliche" but of course i did it anyway...

from tony-sison :

Thanks for checking out my diary and leaving me the nice note. Checked out your profile and saw that you had the opening lines of "Howl" in your diary description which to me is a coincides with a recent entry of mine, http://tony-sison.diaryland.com/020520_86.html, if you haven't seen it yet. Anyway, thanks again, and I look forward to checking out your diary. -Ts

from zionistchick :

hey chica! :) i am (well, was for two weeks, and will be again for ten days starting tomorrow) in vacaville, 1.5 hours from san fran. i'll totally try to make the festival... it sounds awesome. :D thanks for the invite! how will i know who you are?

from hardluck :

i guarantee that if you check the message board at the K-Fest website, you'll prolly find a shite-load of kids coming from the bay area.i met a few from Santa Cruz last year...

from iamen :

a beautiful butterfly you are in hearts not yet known to you in this mad world that recognizes little of what flutters about in front of it's face of ugliness and greed, consuming those it feels necessary to brush aside to make it feel worthy of worth it has no real claim to. beat wings with gusto and intention in the biting cold winds meant for you to digress in progress you have already realized, for your words are the sails to the western land...

from hardluck :

Thanks for the note in my g-book and sorry it took so long to get back to you but i'm a slave to this crappy lappy-top thing of my roomates and it's slow as all get out.But i will be back to read on the next time i get on a real PC, i promise.much love,J

from mardou-fox :

interested.. exploration in the mind of strange stranger than who, painful flattery, but the gratitude is all the same. Why is there no new poetry? Poetry is dead and all the poets have been euthanized for the good of their people. Why are you so sweet? Why so many quest shun marks??????????????????

from kstarr :

kerouac and san francisco .. i like you better already. xox.

from iamen :

thanks for the update urgency. my train tale is consuming my mind, so i just need to move on and finish later. ani rocks! memories, if clear are a real treasure.

from iamen :

i revel in jealousy as to your itinerary of concerts. Ani is incredible live. have you seen "the source"? documentary about the Beats, a must see. Johnny Depp as Kerouac. Breathtaking...

from girlgenie :

thank you darlin' ---you.re a big marker on the wonderful scale yourself. <3

from iamen :

right on! dharma bums is wonderful. first kerouac i read. i was instantly hooked when my town of san luis obispo was mentioned on the first page. it also helped that the opening line starts "I hopped a freighter..." WHAT? A FREIGHTER? No way! PS in my entry is the guy who got me hooked on Kerouac. the two of us were like ray and japhy for the last two and a half years until he moved to sacramento last summer. We just need to figure out which one of us is ray and which is japhy...

from iamen :

i'll get to the next part soon. this happened last year but i decided that everyone should know about it since i'm terribly proud of the fact. thanks for the attention, i'm flattered. more on your entries later... EN

from ravenheart :

Yes, It wasn't loaded.It's beautiful,the background on your diary! I love it. The text is still big,but it doesn't matter, I like it all the same.

from ravenheart :

Sorry about that yellow thing,that was bad...

from ravenheart :

WOW! You got a big font thing there going,in your diary,and I cant see your writing,it's black,like the background.Otherwise I bet you are a Lucky Star.

from iamen :

December 2001- I started my diary seemingly because of the same events as you. Death changes one's outlook on many things and placing text on page is therapeutic. I'm hooked, a comment for each month will express to you my excitement living vicariously through your eyes. Rock on!

from hermitage :

Spiritualized is so nice to listen to when you're feeling utterly exhausted and not quite ready to fall into a deep deep sleep.

from iamen :

I dig your party, live it up in San Francisco. I try to return to Kerouac's romping grounds every once in a while. "The moving finger writes; and having writ, moves on..." -Rubaiyat of Khayyam

from heeeybooocha :

Heeey. Whats wrong with MVP. I'll have you know that the hockey playin' monkey in this fine cinematic wonder has more thespian talent in his little clipped stub of a tail than Chevy Chase and Cheech Marin combined. Also, I think we need to gang up on Heckafresh on the greatness of the Matrix. I'll hold him and you hit him until he says its his favorite movie evah. Peace out and big up frisco!

from towelphaser :

that counts!!! record NOWWWWWWWW hehe

from towelphaser :

you play music?? where would i find such said music?

from unemployed :

Hey you Ms. Lucky-Starz, were you referring to me? I am a MS. UNEMPLOYMENT, if so! If not, boy do I feel dumb! KITH 4 LYFE FO SHEEZY.

from dharmabumgrl :

Rach! I wanted to sign your guestbook (agian) but I guess the guestbook sight is down. You are such a sweetie, I really enjoyed reading your diary tonight.. Keep your chin up girl.. You've got wonderful things in store for you! Love Tawnya

from heckafresh :

Hello fellow Mars fan, I just took a quick look at your diary and oddly, it has made me embarassed to realize that you are probably reading my silly excuse for recent entries right now. Your last three entries have already touched me. I have seen my current GF, my Ex, and my little sister in your words. I'm sorry you are feeling down, but trust me girl, you express yourself very well. I will read more without a doubt.

from tresmignonne :

wow how weird, you joined both my diaryrings, well, thanks for joining my brad nowell ring too.

from tresmignonne :

thanks for joining the obsessed-with-bobby-burgess-diary-ring

from crysssix :

*Rachel* I emailed you some "peek access" ;) Happy reading. Take care *P.L.U.R* ~Six

from lucky-starz :

im leaving myself a little note to see if my notes are turned on. and to remind myself that ima creative beautiful brillian woman. :)

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