messages to mostlydead:
(click here to add new message):

from for-you-only :
That's really awesome
from pfirsich :
Ooh,kind of liked it!
from f4sakndauter :
I hope you didn't think that was some kind of goodbye
from f4sakndauter :
when you drift away, people do notice, unfortunately, after a while, it causes them to drift away even further in the opposite direction (and I am truly sorry).
from f-i-n :
lovely words
from tarkis :
I care and not sure why...
from f4sakndauter :
"no one seems to want to seem things my way / so sometimes I wonder why I stay" because where else is there to go? I don't know. No one does, I would suppose. It all goes back to that inherently persistence abstract SOMETHING.. of which people like you seem to have an startlingly indefinite amount (sometimes I think I might too.. but sometimes thinking makes my head hurt too much so I stop).
from f4sakndauter :
"all my friends are gone"? hmph! I say. I didn't go anywhere at all boogerhead. (I know you mean it more, but that was one of my cheesy attempts at producing a smile)
from f4sakndauter :
I sincerely thank you for the note.. but you didn't answer my question.
from f4sakndauter :
and what is it that people are lying to themselves about?
from annie-m-s-b :
That my love (I Cry) is soooo beautiful I cried.
from f4sakndauter :
"I wonder why the moments that matter never seem to last." While that is sad, I have a funny memory along that line. See, when me and my girlfriend first moved in together, we of course didn't have an answering machine. We had just set up our phone though, and it just happened that we were having a tender moment when the phone decided to ring. Neither of us want to answer it, but we did. Since we hadn't had the line that long, we figured that we wouldn't possibly be getting a sales call... but of course that's what it was. Then, a couple weeks laughter, it happened again. A tender moment interupted by the phone. We just laughed the second time. Some how, we both knew that was going to happen.
from emeraldblaze :
Thank you for the comment. in a way I am sorry that you understood my entry, I hope that life works on an up swing for you. I have no wish to keep living my life in this semi-black hole and I would never wish that fate on someone else.
from mostlydead :
there is part of my heart still healing, perhaps it always will bem and ever now and then I need to release some puss or bile, or maybe it's gas... it's part of me, so I love it, but I try to remember it's not the best part or the part I want to nurture... by giving it voice, I can limit it's power... maybe that makes some sense (or is it a plot for a psychological case study? :)
from f4sakndauter :
I'm sorry you had such feelings on V-day. *hugs*
from f4sakndauter :
Has it been so long since you woke up alive? maybe we should try it more often. It's quite pleaureable I hear. (meanwhile, I'll weave that blanket big enough for two, or however many. how's that sound?)
from f4sakndauter :
I'm trying to think of something encouraging to say, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't sound meaningless and useless to me. I cannot give you any suggestions for how to make such moods go away, and I certainly don't know how to keep them from coming in the first place. The only thing I can think to say is to just hold out till the mood passes.. but that's what you're doing by writing it here.. writing it out of your system so to speak. But to answer your question: yes, I do notice that you question everything, and I can see how you can be/who you want to be. Like I mentioned to someone else, when you live it right.. and notice I did NOT perfect.. but right.. then things like that just show naturally. I'm sure it takes work sometimes, and I (as well as many of your admirers) applaud you on your persistence.. and not only forgive you for your lapses, but wish to help you through them so that we may all come out on top of the hill.
from f4sakndauter :
sad sentiment indeed when a lonely heart must plead.
from alwaysinhim :
oh, and go look at my f4sakndauter main page. maybe you'll get a smile or something good, hopefully.
from alwaysinhim :
"sometimes I just want someone save me/ as if somebody really could/ and sometimes I think/ I'll believe it if they want me to/ if only somebody would" I hear ya.
from f4sakndauter :
hm.. you have so many places. it's interesting. as if you like to keep yourself seperate (a compartmentalized soul?) from yourself (and I suppose that skill could come in handy; not letting the dispair seep into the pot of golden hope).
from elliorange :
from elliorange :
♥ So many places to vent - you have them all. :)
from mostlydead :

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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