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I feel for you so much having to go through this torment every day. I truly hope for the sake of you and his children he never does it to you again. Trust is crucial and trust takes time to be felt again. I guess you have to ask yourself is what you feel worth torturing yourself everyday, don't take that lightly, because neither love nor marriage is something to be taken lightly. Yes, he has done that, should you suffer for it? If you want it to work, truly want it to work, it's going to take time sweetheart, time to heal, time to trust, you may never fully trust him again. It may be paranoia, I don't know, you have to go with what you feel it is. You are worth more than you have ever been through, make sure you are treated that way, don't settle for anything less.

from jenniesblog :

I am so glad that you wrote. I have been worrying about you lately. I am glad that things are working out. You needed to see if it would work out. If by chance he would do it again then you know for sure its a done deal. I bet the kids love having the both of you together. Keep a smile on your face girlie!!

from mskindasorta :

Hi girl (its becka the aussie girl, new diary) First and formost this is your decision, don't be embaressed for a choice you made, you shouldn't have to worry about what others think, all that matters is what you think and you want. You can't see into the future so you don't know if this is wrong or not going to work, you can only go on what you need/want. I'm so sorry for all the pain you are still going through, and don't feel bad for that, it's natural, they took away a big piece of you and it's not going to be something that comes back so easily. You have to live with it everyday and you can't push it away or hope that it just goes away, it has to be dealt with or it could never end and you have to deal with it in your way..your time..you deserve that at the very least. If you ever want to talk my email is [email protected] :) hugs girlie

from jenniesblog :

I hope everything is going good!!

from shadesofmi :

Keep taking one day at a time, your chin up and baby steps. I hope it all works out and yu can find a way to trust again. It takes more guts to stay and try to work it out than to walk away.

from jenniesblog :

You will always wonder if he is going to change. If you are like me it will bug you. So go for it but be safe. You are strong enough and if it works that is great but if it doesn't then you will know that he will never change. Remember you deserve the best if you are not getting it then be single.

from pink-circle :

*The Circle of the Phoenix* Hi, I'm Phoenix, and I'd like to personally invite you to join The Circle; a writers' and artists' group for diaryland members. It's a public journal, so that anyone can post to it, but members have profiles on the site, as well as critiques, and once promoted to Apprentice have buttons to show off their achievements on their site. I hope you don't take this as spam, you can just delete this message if you're not interested, but if you are, please visit our welcome page: http://pink-circle.diaryland.com/welcome3.html -- Thanks for your time -- Atara Phoenix

from shadesofmi :

I came across your journal and want to give you a big *HUG*.

from rebeckajane :

Hugs from across the puddle girlie..xox

from jenniesblog :

Hey thanks for the kind words!

from jenniesblog :

Glad to see u posted again. I was starting to worry. Great job of going back to school.

from janedoe0 :

Hey There, came across your diary and read through the entries. I wanted to cry. And I got soooooo angry. I can't imagine what you are going through. I realy admire you. Best Wishes.

from rebeckajane :

I was just going to your diary to see if you have updated when a email came through saying you had left a note :) ..I understand that, my boys have been rocks for me many times and have lifted me out of darkness many times too. Kids are amazing. If I win lotto tomorrow night I'll fly you over and you can spend a weekend with Ms-Do (she's an hour from me) and myself, we'll have a girlie weekend ;o)

from rebeckajane :

Just letting you know I'm thinking of you and I hope you are doing ok. Hugs girl

from ms-do :

Your Numb yes but not beyond repair....that will change darling girl....keep going....work of auto pilot for a while and allow your mind to catch up...

from ms-do :

I just read your blog and your beginning to get your strength....i can see you have grown over the last year....keep going forward.

from rebeckajane :

Hi, I've been reading your journal off and on over the past couple of months and just thought I'd tell you I'm so sorry for what you have had to go through and I applaud you for your courage. I wish you all the best. :)

from jenniesblog :

Way to go girl! Get ur happiness back!

from jenniesblog :

Wow sorry that you have yet go thru more hell! I could tell you to just run and protect and tell everyone to fuck off but its not that easy. In time you will know what to do. If you ever need anyone to talk to thru email just write my email is on my diaryland. Bye I will say a little prayer for you and ur health!

from jenniesblog :

Dont feel bad i am also a doormat. It's time u put ur foot down and be a bitch! Plus u need to do shake his world up. He has put u through hell for to long. Get ur life back and get happy.

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