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I can see why my site caught your eye. Seems as if we are both silenced, yet we manage to speak our minds all the while. Your writing style is amazing, of course you may continue to read me, and I will continue to read you as well. Thank you.

from lobo21 :

Wrapped up in my own problems I sometimes can't see others in need. I hope you have a change in your life that gives you a new perspective and a glimpse of hope for the future. Life as you probably know has no guarantees and I'm learning that lesson very hard right now. Wishing you better than you've had. Take care.

from lobo21 :

from rc-cola :

i feel really bad .. i just read your note about handing out over the summer i wish we had take care.

from artgnome :

Thank you for your note, and for your encouragement. I need all I can get right now.

from lobo21 :

hey, glad to see you around some. Sorry to hear about the lack of backup. Times get tough I know, and though I may not know exactly how things are, I've had manic episodes and bouts of depression and I've seen how much easier it could be ending it all instead of going on. I've had my family, my kids to think of and it's got me through. I hope you have or find something to help you too. Take care.

from lobo21 :

I'd like to believe like I believed when I was a kid. That would be nice. I stumbled across your page and really enjoyed this entry. Might i make a small suggestion. If you have the time and if there is a park close to your location, maybe take a piece of your day, park yourself on a bench near a playground, and enjoy the kids that still believe and make adventure out of their everyday lives. Maybe it'll help colour in some of the grey. If it's alright I'd like to stumble across your page more down the road. dave

from summer-day :

Going to UK? We should talk about it because I obviously have been in your place. Why haven't you called me about this? I know it's your decision to make, but I have some great questions that people asked me that would help you I imagine. I will try to call you. I'm glad your grandma stepped in. I think I've managed to get things under control, which is just amazing. I think Brandon has helped me with a lot and college has helped me to look inward.

from summer-day :

I love to walk on summer nights. You just have to find me. If only we lived closer....

from darth4182 :

dude. anime really isn't that deep all the time. There's a chick who'se like half japanese, and she's super into anime culture, and she acts like a ditzy anime character, and she looks like a serious seirious thought never enters her head. Anime just exagerrates emotions.

from darth4182 :

yeah you need to get help. As your friend, I say it would at least be good to have asecond opinion from someone que esta calificado.

from darth4182 :

haha yeah you definitely can't say you didn't enjoy it. especially b/c of the preventative advils and such.

from summer-day :

I was talking to Ryan last night about a last bash. So maybe you shoulk talk to him to make sure that something happens. I think that it would be great.

from darth4182 :

I will do my best to forget that you used threeday's gracelyrics ina post. even my canadian cousins hate them. and they're from canada.

from summer-day :

if you want to hang out with your friends you should give us a call. I am sorry that you hurt. We ought to get together to talk some things out.

from janeygirl7 :

I don't know if I am happy though. I'm actually really miserable. And he's not helping. And I still love him more than is healthy for me.

from janeygirl7 :

I think you're wrong about the no one is every ready thing. Coz there's always that guy standing in the front of the line just waiting to spring into action. I want to be that guy.

from rc-cola :

hay there i started browsing and thought hay its stu! ya know i once tried 2 read ur very complex diary..and quickly gave up but i like ur latest one power 2 the shy people well i hope everything goes well 4 u n college, im sure it will ta

from darth4182 :

funny. before Jo came along, I thought michelle and I got along quite well. I don't know how you all act in other classes, so I couldn't have picked up on your intentions. good luck finiding a date.

from janeygirl7 :

Are you sure Winnie-the-Pooh said that? coz thats miserably depressing. And Pooh was always so happy.

from darth4182 :

i think they're moguls

from darth4182 :

"A diary is a place where a person can bare their sould without fear of others' opinions or actions or decisions based on that information." well, others have definitely acted on the words of others in this place. and my knowledge of someone writing on here without telling me the pass or someone else, is cause for action.

from janeygirl7 :

Ha lalalala it's all about the wordplay! I love that song.

from darth4182 :

dude you haven't thrown me away, I hope. and I'm not one to grudge long. sorry about you and max. you always pick good songs and write excellent poems.

from darth4182 :

no, that hike was fun and you know it! and here it is at 1:19 AM and i just finished my essay bc I suck at writing so pbth. sucks about your mirror tho. i dunno if thats as bad for your car as not giving it an oil change since last november though...

from i-am-drath :

if you're writing half the shit you post there, you ought to find some hard rock band that needs lyrical talent and you'll do well. and with the eagle (i'm assuming that what's your writing about) just keep plugging man, I've been working my ass off on that thing too.

from i-am-drath :

i've heard that song before! it's like punk rock has tossed its bitter crusty heart for a more pop gothy squishy one with tattoos. lots of tattoos.

from rosebud-lips :

Heehee....your essay is like mine, only more wordy and eloquent. Same ideas....weird.

from missy-17 :

hey, i found your diary interesting!!!i dont know, you just seem like the very creative type!!! ;)

from janeygirl7 :

Kev's birthday's not till June 2.

from rosebud-lips :

What is this last entry about?

from jackthripper :

Madly in love with that piece - Vincent. A masterpiece by all and any means. Burton is a true master. Mad genius. Makes me wonder what it is that drives, what it is he loves...

from rosebud-lips :

I have realized the romantic rose shade that memory casts upon memory; construing it. And you deserve to be vain in your diary because you are selfless in life. This diary is for you, not us.

from janeygirl7 :

Well Spetember 11th was good in that it shocked a lot of Americans into realizing that not everyone is in love with us.

from rosebud-lips :

I like that entry. Who is the girl? And what did she do?

from jackthripper :

I'm all about rambling, my friend. And I don't see an ego in you when I read you. I just see a curious mind spilling its "guts" out on paper, trying to pick away the junk and concentrate on the main pieces, fitting them together in a way that makes sense so you may finally be able to see the overall picture clearly. Of course, it's hard to work with a puzzle when half the pieces are curved and the others squared. But what would happen and where would go the interest in this world if we had all the answers?

from rosebud-lips :

I used to feel that way when I was at parties.

from janeygirl7 :

It'll be ok Stu. The guy can deal with his son's bloody nose.. It's not the end og the world. DOn't beat yourself up.

from jackthripper :

I don't know what it is I write. I suppose it's there for anyone to guess....it can mean something different for everybody, I suppose. My point of view is just that. Just one POV. There's a million angles and millions more to see them. I know you are the eternal thinker. I guess I've just lost my ability to see so deeply as you..

from jackthripper :

Yes, it has been some time. But I haven't forgotten you. I remember you the way I always did. Yours was a personality, a diary I could not soon forget had I wanted the desire to. Popularity means nothing. People read my diary, yes, but most of the time they are mere children looking for a fairy tale in this place, something to entertain. I really don't consider my diary something suitable for young teens. And lockdowns never stay long. I was confused by something you said. "Do we dare to hope for all that you tell?" What do you mean by this? I did find some strange comfort in your point of remaining content in the shadows. Shadows are all I've known. Shadows are a comfort and will remain as such for I have no desire to leave them anymore. There is hope in me towards your own happiness and successes in this life. Please prove my hopes to be true there.

from i-am-drath :

dude I think I figured that out by writing it out, but thanks for the motivational note

from silverlamp :

Be selective. Tell people only what you want them to know. I mean, hey, it's worked for Russian media, why can't it work for you? Be as open as you think is safe enough to be open, but keep people in the dark about things you consider sensitive. Like how I don't ever mention the names of people in my entries unless it's something irrelevant or no one knows the person. And then I don't give out last names. Get it?

from janeygirl7 :

Linkin Park. Not a huge fan of that song, but ti tain't terrible

from antigy :

Yea, welcome to 2nd and 3rd rate sports letdown at this school. If ur not not b-ball or football, ur nothing. It sucks but what can ya do, and as for going, sry but 4 days worth of makeup work kinda is weighing heavy.

from i-am-drath :

yeah you may very well beat me to eagle. and not talking to you? i can't even get a word to craig hardly in spanish bc of FF11 talk.

from i-am-drath :

just saw your newest addition, and I feel semi-bad in knowing i am a small spike in that dude's heart, but I've been hurt worse far more often in the realm of love to care about his sad rants.

from antigy :

hey stu, i'd ask for the decoded version, but its ok to leave it that way.

from rosebud-lips :

The government doesn't tell us everything because it would jeopardize some of their private operations. There is evil in the government and we don't know about it. What do you think the scandals are?

from jackthripper :

Email me if you want the password to my diary [email protected]

from rosebud-lips :

Hey, we can try for a happy winter together. I also have hope this year. Conquest for happiness in winter!!

from janeygirl7 :

...and betrayal, I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?... I love that song

from silverlamp :

Dude, I heard the news too. It sucks mondo monkey balls. Even though I didn't really know him myself, I'm quite confident that he was a great teacher. But I bet that he won't go, not yet. If he had such a vigor for life, I'm sure he'll fight to keep it.

from bodangls :

Geez... I'm the only one who never leaves you notes. I feel bad now... Mmf I feel stupid now. Dunno why. Umm... why am I leaving you a note again...? I think I did have some reason, but I don't remember. Well... may your flobbalots be mighty.

from i-am-drath :

jeez i'm sorry i had to try to include you in an attempt to show the ruling party we care. it's all propaganda. is nothing true anymore, just a swirl of fog and lies? or is the truth out there somewhere, waiting for some people who care?

from darth4182 :

dude, i think its ffxi that got him

from antigy :

the winter will be here in a week once the cold sets. There will be a long summer, then boom winter. Totally skipping fall as it were.

from janeygirl7 :

C'est la vie.

from darth4182 :

sounds like someone needs to stop pushing the boulder up the hill and just step aside for a second... then move on to better things

from fallen-angel :

thank you for taking the tim to read my diary.May your voice never be silinced, for it would be a tragidy to all.

from silverlamp :

I agree. I used to smoke, and I stopped. Mostly because I need a job, but because of other...reasons. But yeah, pot is fun. A fun way to fuck up your life, I say. And failing? Well hey, I'm going to fail. So we can fail together. Or something.

from i-am-drath :

I do not have that much free time, just occasional fits of energy and initiative. they usually never turn into habit tho

from rosebud-lips :

Stu, I like reading your diary b/c the vocab is mroe advanced than all the ones that I read. I think that sometimes, though, you pore over the minute things a little much. You should look at the big picture and just try to relax. Don't give a fuck about image-just live.

from bodangls :

Heyla, Stuart! I was just wondering if you were aware that the font on your diary is so close to white that you have to highlight it to read? Not that I have a big problem with highlighting, but it was confusing the first time I went to go read your entry and I couldn't see anything.

from ikaruso819 :

oh-ho-ho, das Stuart, if only you knew how not-gone I was. I have arisen from the ashes like the Phoenix of Ramen, and am ready to re-establish my reign of terror. In other news, check out my shiny new diary and spiffy (yes, spiffy) profile.

from darth4182 :

hey you know i-am-drath too? cool. actually, you know the guy- he's me!!! woo I'm so bored and 15 days behind in dland, gots lots of reading. see ya

from silverlamp :

I like the layout, too. Keep it up.

from silverlamp :

I liked Part One of your story. It seems very intresting. I think the best thing I like about it is the descriptions of people and places-it puts a beautiful picture in your head. (But why does it keep reminding me of The Shire from Lord of the Rings?) And I like the blood hounds. Niice. Keep it up.

from janeygirl7 :

You know maybe I'm not patriotic enough or something but most of the time I don't give a shit bout the ppl fighting. I don't respect what they do because they are following the order of a man I can't stand. The people fighting for my country want to do it. There was no draft if they don't want to fight then they shouldn't have joined the military. I hate America's military. Most of the time no hurts us, we go and bomb a country and then have to save ourselves. We're power hungry fools and I guess I despise our military because they allow for us to be those fools.

from rosebud-lips :

I think about fighting with them all the time. Maybe the airforce or marines. I think that it would be neat, too. I hate what the political leaders do with our troops, but I stand by them.

from silverlamp :

Thanks, I guess, for calling me a writer.I, (as does every other person who does some type of creative thing) think I suck...but maybe I don't. All I know is that I don't like my writing. But, as I told Kate, alot of my writing is spurred by emotion so that could be why I don't like it somedays. But hey, thanks again for the comment.

from rosebud-lips :

Your new entry is confusing

from darth4182 :

um, about your new entry... are you trying to prevent something or to ease a burden?

from darth4182 :

what about the person who knows the truth but decides to live the lie anyways?

from rosebud-lips :

I hope that you can get over me b/c I think that we'll get more out of being friends. I feel like there is someone in the Academy who understands and knows the truth. And if I lost that...

from darth4182 :

I don't really know what you're talking about, but ok... good for you

from janeygirl7 :

Um... yea I'm dealing with that issue by forgetting, it makes it easier to deal. Its the only way I can deal at least, just pretend it never happened and walk away... fear of confrontation? Maybe

from darth4182 :

youre not the only one who doesnt know what the heck theyre sorting out. dude, it's f*ing summer, blast some music and get ready for Europe. wow, yeah i dont know if kate will like me saying this, but yeah, dont try to waste your time if you dont really like her. hell, I liked her and she liked me for a week, whoopee. see what happened there. nada. ok now i'm rambling, g2 get back to get back to my music. see ya later

from jackthripper :

Thank you for the kind note and the comment you put in your favorites. I feel unworthy of such kindness. In truth, I am not used to it. So I find myself in your debt. I am happy my words were something of interest to you. Rest assure I will return to see more of your writing as I am impressed to find someone who actually has something to say.

from jackthripper :

You intrigue me. You are right. No one ever asks...would you want them too? Would you really? And if they did, what would you be willing to share?

from darth4182 :

darn you and your philosiphizing. It makes me feel insignificant and undestined for great things, a probability i want to ignore

from darth4182 :

shit man you been reading 1984 yet? try all you want to observe/complain/talk about it, but the human race is getting more and more lazy and comfortable with 'just good enough'. so the runway's clear, dude. this is your air traffic controller, you have permission to take off and fly. fly like an eagle man, fly like an eagle.

from darth4182 :

very thought privoking indeed, but if god magically intervened it would destroy faith. religion needs faith. if god were to magically appear, someone would just turn it into some police state religion "do this or god will be evil to you"-type thing. but dont listen to me right now, its 12 in the morn, if ya ever want a philosophical discussion I'm open for one.

from janeygirl7 :

Hi, you know me (from Mags and Kate and that one bus ride to Dunbar) anyway, I've only read one diary entry, and you're one of the only ppl I've met who has brought up the whole god thing and why he wan't there. It is really thought provoking, tho it only strengthens my athiest views. ~Love Jan

from rosebud-lips :

Well, if it's any consolation, we won't be doing the joyrides for some time because I am afraid that someone will be caught, but every time that we pass by your neighborhood I think of you.

from bodangls :

i forgot to ask, do you mind if i read your diary? i'll stop if you want me to.

from bodangls :

hi, it's kate. random question: do you mind if we put what your name is in our profiles and things? you're on my profile buddy list thing and i put "a guy i know from school" or something like that becuase nobody else put your name. and um... there was something else... oh yeah, good luck with maggie. i have no luck with guys whatsoever, my only real ex-boyfriend is now in therapy...."becuase of me"...or at least as of 5 months after the break-up. it was a 4 month relationship. there was a point to that... oh yes, none of us have good luck. at all.

from antigy :

Dude, its ok to still carebout ppl, but sometimes, the nessecity and time to suck it up and put things behind you arises. Im not saying that in a bad way, ok so I do sound "parenty" but being there for a person and being the main part in a person's day are diff things, but they still feel just as good.

from rosebud-lips :

Well, I am glad that the trip helped and thanks for the insight on the Michael thing. It is interesting to see all the perspectives.

from rosebud-lips :

Kev is right. I'm sorry that the movie was so shitty for you. My friends used to be like that. Then I ignored them, we went our own ways and I got new good friends. Look outside of the Academy and grade.

from antigy :

hey, there are things worse than being turned down time and time again. You could have a girl say yes, but then they use u and manipulate you and at the end of the day they dump u. It happened to me and this relationship nearly killed me, literally. Trust me tho, high school is not the time to find a perfect relationship. tru it is a time to figure out wat u want, but the final desicion is still many years off. //<0>11<0>\\

from silentforest :

well, thats tru noxsanity, but sometimes it can hurt so much that you can't even see strait, much less reason the pain away or use creativity. Now, I'm not advocating cutting here, but I understand why it happens.

from noxsanity :

Ugh, it must be horrible to find out that you're friend cuts herself/himself... I personally think that that's not the only way to rid of pain: people can always do it by writing/drawing/physical activities/talking/ect...

from rosebud-lips :

You have a question that you can't ask? Who is this question for and will I ever figure out what it is?

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