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You've been through a hell of a lot this past year, none of which was your doing. If you need to collapse for a while, do it. Things will change, whether you want them to or not, and you're already working on a new skill. If you ever need to vent, cat.nips at gmail :)

from killsbury :

Thank you and good luck with your job hunting :)

from killsbury :

About yesterday's entry; mention it to your doc, it's probably your meds. About today's, I remember reading a study (and I can't find it right now, sorry) about men unsure of wanting children tended to have lower testosterone levels. A check up couldn't hurt.

from killsbury :

Merry Christmas! I hope you get all the love, peace and joy you deserve.

from killsbury :

I hope something even better finds you soon *Hugs*

from killsbury :

Poor puppy and how scary for you. I hope it gets managed soon.

from conpalabras :

Hey Kid, I'm still knocking around out here. I have just been going through one of my super busy I don't feel like journaling phases. I still keep up on the reading though and I'm sorry that you've been your situation. It sounds like you guys have sought the appropriate help to get through it though. As far as the question you had for me. I can identify with all of Rob's concerns because I had many of those too. I wanted to travel the world, attend spur-of-the-moment shows and happy hours and continue with my relatively responsibility-less existence as an adult. My Peter Pan world was a good one. I always figured on having kids, but it always seemed so far off in the distance. I didn't mind some ankle biters around, but I always figured we'd have them some time off in the nebulous distance when the world had been traveled, the kinky sex exhausted and the 401k and college fund were plump for the sponging off mom and dad years. Then my wife got pregnant. It wasn't huge surprise, we'd pulled the goalie a few months prior after discussing it. I was still worried that just wasn't ready. A good friend told me that you're never ready because it's like nothing you've ever been through. I think women as a whole because mentally ready because I truly believe that for the safety of the human race, women have the desire to have kids. If it were left to man, we'd be extinct by now. Anyway, I wasn't sure that I wanted to be a dad. It's tough now and my little girl is six months old and a ton of fun. I can say that the only thing at this point tougher than having her would be not to have her. I think women have the ability to feel that void before they have kids, I think men didn't know the void was there until after they have them. So I guess I could have lead a fulfilling existence without kids and probably never looked back and wondered. But I think my life will be an even more impressive adventure because I have a girl that will carry on in the world and dazzle me at every turn. I don't know if I've helped at all. I just understand the reluctance, but the payoff is crazy fun.

from killsbury :

I love the way you are working on your relationship so openly, yet setting boundaries for yourself (children issue). It's so healthy! I wish I'd been this bright when I got married and married :/

from killsbury :

I am here :) I'm glad you resurfaced.

from liviasgarden :

I'm glad you're questioning that woman's motivation. The rate of divorce between those who meet and fall in love is exactly the same as those in arranged marriages; it's all about work, respect and commitment.

from liviasgarden :

I'm so sorry you hurt. Maybe if you try role reversal, think about if it was him telling you to fuck some guy in a bar bathroom. You'd still love Rob and the other guy would be meaningless, except for the fact that you wanted to please Rob. Make new rules that he's to ignore you if you drink. If you want it to work, let him love you. You deserve it. My email is on my page in the drop down menu if you need to vent. *Cat*

from liviasgarden :

Best of luck!

from conpalabras :

You're so right. Lohan circa Mean Girls was much better. What a body that girl had before she got all Paris Hilton on us.

from liviasgarden :

I understand too well, but I hope you don't disappear. I'm trying it and it doesn't work. Lean on Rob for now. Let him help. When you're strong you will return the favor. Your note to me shows what you're made of and I know it will all work out for you.

from conpalabras :

Hey thanks for the note. This father stuff is grueling and trying until you see those eyes that trust you for everything and it all melts away and you have to remind yourself that you indeed can't fly. I'm glad to read that things are clicking for you and Rob. Love is work, but it shouldn't be that laboring in a turn-of-the-century coal mine kind of work. Keep up the good work. And you guys are on a good path with the questions. Once you have the money, religion, kids thing cleared, the rest is just a cake walk.

from liviasgarden :

This is so great to read. You deserve every bit of this happiness.

from conpalabras :

So sorry to read about your Dad. I lost two grandpas to that piece of shit disease. Both could have lived a lot longer. The consolation of a stranger probably doesn't help much, but I hope peace and positivity surround you and yours.

from liviasgarden :

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something else I could say. I'm glad you're not alone now.

from globe :

I've been doing a link check and I can't seem to find our link on your site. Please let me know within a week where it is located.

from conpalabras :

Thanks for the congrats! I got the password, but didn't get the username unless I missed that somewhere. I would, however, still like to continue reading your journal.

from conpalabras :

I know this is probably as much consolation as a papercut and lemon juice, but I'll write it anyway. Your boy Houston hasn't changed at all from what it sounds like. And if this new chick ever does decide to date him, that luster will fade fast and she will feel the same things you are feeling now. As far as him going to the whole Campus Crusade dealio, I did that once for a "Christian" girl and let me tell you, it didn't work. My true personality kept manifesting itself until realized that I believe in God, but I believe God wants us to enjoy life. Anyway I'm rambling on now, but it doesn't sound like this new gal he fancies is going to go on for too long. Those Campus Crusader gals are all about the driven Christian men with moral fortitude and spiritual leadership. Hang in there and try to have fun despite the heartache.

from imaphatpig :

I'm so sorry to hear you so bogged down about stuff. I think the stuff that you are dealing with with Houston are things that (sadly) just about every girl has to go through. I went through it and then I think that almost every other gal I have known has had to trudge through it too. It sucks but I think that it's one of those things that we need to be able to find our independence. Keep goin'! You'll make it through. -Andrea

from globe :

If you are looking for more traffic, we could be of service to you! :-) We would love to have you as part of Globe Listings. Thank you so very much. Have a nice day!

from globe :

If you are looking for more traffic, we could be of service to you! :-) We would love to have you as part of Globe Listings. Thank you so very much. Have a nice day!

from imaphatpig :

I found your diary through lostinlove's guestbook. Little did I know that I would find another diary to be a fan of. So much of your life is like the way mine is or was. The whole boyfriend who just misses in so many ways (not like this for me anymore) and the whole recent entry about enjoying yourself more without him (also, this was me almost two years ago when I realized that it was time to move on). Oh... and with regard to finding things to read that help you out... ever checked out the diary of ladiebug? I know this girl through d-land and she is really cool. Also, she gets lots of action and she writes very explicitly about it. That's all. Take care! -A

from leebozeebo :

Sacapuntas is fun. I also used to mispronounce the word "pagina" so that it would sound more like female genitalia. I don't think any of my high school spanish teachers liked me.

from laura-diane :

thank you for adding me to your list. i hope to catch up on your diary soon. your layout is beautiful!

from conpalabras :

I lived in Orlando. Man, oh man did I love it too. I've actually only been to Gainesville a couple of times. I was up there to see a Butch Walker show one night and it seemed to be a very lively college town with a lot of energy. If you have a full ride there, I would definitely check it out and see what you think. Like Orlando, it's not right on the ocean, but not far from it. And...I'll stop there before I amend my "missing Florida" entry right here in your notes section. I love it there and can't wait to find a way to get back down there.

from conpalabras :

theturtle is most definitely correct. Especially considering that 99.9% of us red-blooded American males attempt to throw hump to our ladies constantly and usually get the excuses. And I have never heard of a guy that had to be asked to masturbate. My wife's only request is that I don't spooge on the good towels. Hang in there kid. You'll find your knight in throbbing armor. My wife is the most rock star person I know and the only one that really gets me, but it took a few years and several crap relationahips before I found her.

from conpalabras :

Thanks for the feedback on the site. I really dig Vargas Girls and pin-up art in general, however, the "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder," really isn't my speed, but it was a built in part of the template. I contacted tha gal to see about customizing something more my style for the template header. I'm waiting to hear back. I'm in the middle of a blizzard right now. I miss sandal weather.

from conpalabras :

If you haven't checked out my latest entry, you should. After reading your roommate list, I saw this graphic on www.theonion.com and thought it appropriate to your situation. It's on the "Beer and Whine" entry.

from conpalabras :

I think there is a great coffee table book just waiting to be published with all of the wit, wisdom, religion and just plain stupidity found on bathrom walls. You could have separate editions for each different type of batroom from which the quotes were gathered. The Collegiate Bathroom, the Ivy League Collegiate Bathroom, the Bawdy Bar Room Bathroom, so on and so forth.

from conpalabras :

Thanks for the mention in your latest entry. The voyeuristic satisfaction this site offers is crazy fun. Your diary, in particular, is one of my favorite mental windows to peer into. Hope you continue to enjoy my daily delves into love, life, art, music and mortgage payments.

from dearly :

Nearly, but not quite as round. And darker. It was a website worth visiting, regardless. Thanks for trying.

from elchippo :

Hi! Do I know you? How did you come across my diary? Anyways, thanks for the tip. This whole thing is really complicated. I'd be happy to fill you in more on what's up...most everyone I thought that read this kinda knows the situation as it is....talk to you soon.

from abrcrombie09 :

Heyy! U left a note in my diary. Yeah and ur right..b/c being all happy and stuff isnt gunna ruin my life but all those ppl smoking pot are gunna be screwed up b4 ya kno it! Cool diary! Buhbye!

from appletwist :

Thanks for the really nice note- I may be coming back to read your diary again sometime :)

from dearly :

Thanks. That was a really nice compliment. And I like that you listed Britney Spears in your favorites and then apologized for it. It made me want to laugh, in a good way.

from greengrin :

View orchardroad diary for review of "Life is Beautiful".Interesting read.

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