Letters To My Beloved

One day, I woke up. And I wondered. What the hell happened to me? What happened to the girl who loved life, the one who gave her smile away to anyone and everyone? I used to have such an abundance of joy that it was easy to share with others. The world wasn�t scary, it was exciting. And then I allowed life to bring me down. I allowed other people to have control over my emotions. I gave away all my power. And now I�m taking it back.

Welcome to Letters2self. In August 2004, after much reflection, I decided that I didn�t need a relationship with anyone to fulfill me. What I needed was a better relationship with myself. If I was willing to give myself fully to another person, to live for making them happy, then why can�t I do that to myself? And the answer is, I can. And I will. So I look at myself and think � what would I do for my lover? For my Beloved? Then I have to be willing to do that with myself.

It means I buy myself presents, flowers, little things to show how much I care. It means I affirm myself instead of demean myself. It means I allow myself to feel whatever emotion I am feeling. It means I spend time with myself. It means I get to know myself. It means I tell myself how great I am. It means I�m honest with myself when I make a mistake.

It means NO ONE GETS TO CONTROL ME. It means I have hope. I have joy that no one can take away. It means I am empowered. It means I can live.

So everyday (or most days) I plan to write myself a letter. A love letter to my beloved. And in these letters, I will affirm myself. I will give myself back my self-esteem. I had it once, and it�s time to get it back. This is a journey that will change my life. There�s no way I can lose and nothing to be afraid of. Hoo Rah!

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last updated: 2006-06-24 16:12:02
this user's total entries: 11
user since: 2004-08-21

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