messages to anni05:
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from catsoul :
6.14.2021 at 12:05 pm here. Let's try this then. My email is: ambereyesforyou@yahoo.com Send me an email with your name and I will send you a friend request. We will see how this works. I am going to the clinic this pm, so I won't be back until after 5 pm or so in the central time zone region. We will make this work. Peace. =^..^=
from whystinger :
Re: 157. Interesting comments on those suffering from mental illnesses and using that to abuse people. My ex-wife was like that, you catch her and she then would say ""I'm so sorry that I have a mental illness and blah blah blah." She would use that as an excuse for her bad behavior and so she would not take responsibility. She still does that shit too, then wonders why I don't want to be friends or talk to her. If her bad behavior was truly ruled by her depression and anxiety, then she would be acting up in front of her family, which she never did, so you are right on.
from jimbostaxi :
No.problem, 👍
from jimbostaxi :
Here's my email jimsean2006@yahoo.com. If you want send me the list of stuff they did plus info on what car you have. I'll run that info by my mechanic and google any other possible causes. I'll also mention to him what you said about the codes. If you don't feel comfortable that's cool too. :)
from jimbostaxi :
Hello, I know you are upset about the car, wasp, and life but I have an idea about your check engine light. I bought a cheap code scanner from the local auto parts. You plug it and viola! It shows a code for why your lights on. I google the code and see if it's something simple. The worst that can happen is your armed with info to fight with the mechanic about his repair.
from whystinger :
I agree with @jimbostaxi, it isn't stupid. Make some local friends too, sometimes the internet kind are people looking to take advantage of someone.
from jimbostaxi :
Expressing your thoughts about feeling lonely is not stupid. I spend a lot of time alone and my thoughts often carry me to places which I shouldn't go. God, so many times I wished there was someone, anyone out there up to listen. Yep, especially at 4 am I go a little extra bonkers at this time. Lol
from whystinger :
Maybe you should try writing poetry again. You should do it for you. Maybe post here is/when you feel like it.
from whystinger :
LOL, then octane is not your problem. Good!
from whystinger :
No worries, I was just trying to help, glad to hear it is fixed. Octane is a method of rating gasoline. At the pump there will be a small piece of writing that will day the octane number. The lower the octane, the cheaper the fuel. Many make the mistake of buying the highest octane, paying the higher price per gallon when a lower octane is what their vehicle was designed to run on.
from whystinger :
Threequestions: 1. What is the temperature in the morning where you live and (2) what octane rating are you running, (3) what octane does your car really require? A 4th question could be where are you buying your fuel? Cheap off-branded stations? I could ask even more questions. If you wait until later in the day, does it start? Fuel pump relay could be a real issue, same if the wiring to the relay is loose. Use the right octane for your vehicle, most are designed to run on 87 octane, if you run 93 octane when 87 is required, sometimes it makes it difficult to start, especially in the winter. You may want to check the octane and switch to a Top Tier fuel until this is fixed.
from whystinger :
Out of curiosity what is up with your car? I fixed cars and trucks for a living in my past.
from catsoul :
4.4.2021. Howdy Do. Just wanted to say hi. I never get much people who stop by here and visit either. Over time, I actually like this. I can do what I want, when I want, my life is my business. I was wondering if you have a cat? I am now too old to have any more dogs. You show in your writing that you care about animals, and also that neighbor. Like Whystinger, if you want to email me, you sure can. I consider myself a "read-a-holic," by the way. Oh, do you still live in the Midwest? Anni05, you take care, and be at peace within yourself. Peace. =^..^=
from whystinger :
Reach out to them online and also check just in case one is available. Are you under the care of therapist or other professional? If not, do yourself a favor and do so. Holler if you want to take this discussion to email or something.
from whystinger :
Surf over to nami.org and also see if there is a local "affiliate" where you could attend a meeting or a few. Some of the meetings are a bit scary, as you may be around some people that really need help, but they ARE working on getting help. I got a hell of an education and lots of help from NAMI about my ex-wife's mental illness, which also manifested my own mental illness. NAMI helped me enough where my marriage lasted longer than I thought possible and if my wife had done her part on getting well, we might even still be together. NAMI and those folks really helped me, educated me and I am grateful. Find a local affiliate and check them out, maybe a support group. It will take a ton of weight off of your shoulders.
from whystinger :
Have you ever been involve with NAMI? I wish your Dad could attend enough meetings to understand mental illness. You re right, mental illness is very serious and may be more serious than other illnesses as a lot of the other illnesses are easier to treat.
from whystinger :
You have rage for that show because it had done its job and was making a comment about society and a woman's right to do what she wants to her body. My aunt had her breasts removed when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and she was not interested in having plastic surgery to get implants. That was years ago and for a change the whole family seemed to respect her decision, at least those I talked to. Society in general still has a lot of growing and maturing to do. Good to read you.
from catsoul :
3.16.2021. You are not an asshole. Gee whiz, some people just think that they can just use us, until we are no more and aren't there. Peace. =^..^=
from jimbostaxi :
That's why I just use Fb to store pics and not much else. My life‘s plenty stressful no need to take a ride to trollville to get massacred.
from whystinger :
Choose happiness, but you have to work at it. Do the behaviors and the feelings will follow.
from glorycloud :
Thank you for the note. I hopeful in time I will be back to my old broken self. blessings
from jimbostaxi :
Entry #125 Yes, I second that motion, and I will scream it from the highest peak in the land! Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Freeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm freeeeeee at last!
from whystinger :
entry 116 - I am sorry that you had a bad day or bad days. I hope that you won't give up and will continue to fight. The world is a more interesting place with you in it. Reach out if I can help.
from whystinger :
Trump definitely brought out the worst in people, but I didn't believe it in the beginning. I slowly began to see it and still ponder why. I think it is a mix of things and the denial is a bit understandable, as is the bad behaviors. First, he modeled the bad behaviors, which made it ok for many and pack mentality took over. It is still concerning as many really believe "the election was stolen." Their eyes are still closed unfortunately.
from whystinger :
People tend to believe the President, especially if he is from "their political party" or their rhetoric resonates with them. What you said is exactly where he got that mask feeling from. I have a few cousins and friends that are exactly like that with masks, also believe "healthy living prevents covid" and "people need to get covid to build herd immunity." All those are false and are part of social media memes that many believe as truth. Healthy living and being healthy will help your body battle covid if one gets it, but won't stop one from getting infected. The biggest falsehood is that people need to get covid to build herd innumity. Hell, most viruses can't be stopped by "natural" herd immunity. Look at AIDS, Polio and even the common cold.
from whystinger :
Do yourself a favor and add more music to your life. About the "planned to go home and kill myself but was too much of a coward..." I disagree with that statement. I think it is braver to keep living and I am very glad that you are still here. Keep your chin up and chest out and never let the bastards get you down.
from catsoul :
1.16.2021. You go girl. You are stronger than you know. You are a Warrior and don't forget that. Proud of you. Peace. =^..^=
from catsoul :
1.14.20212. Hang in there. You are cared about. As I read what you write, my heart hurts for your pain and sadness. Just so you know, there are times when life has been too much for me, yet, one takes one moment at a time and carries on. Take care. Be safe. Peace. =^..^=
from son-souvenir :
happy new year! in ref to 95, well, what can we do, but be absorbed by our self imposed schedules, life happens like that, a dull routine. i've fought with myself for years, setting up little goals, planning, and all that. i listen to music while i write in the morning. though i haven't listened to a whole album straight through for nearly a decade. Reading gives me some respite, and i mixed making art, even for a brief 15 minutes, into my selfmade routine. Remix life. That's what is needed i suppose, but i have been fighting for a routine for several years, and the little worm in my brain insists i stick to plugging away or i will lose time and myself along with it. But maybe that happens anyway, and I should enjoy the entropy.
from catsoul :
12.9.2020. I am all for blocking a person's number, no matter who they are if it helps one gain inner peace. Take care. Be safe. Peace. =^..^=
from catsoul :
11.27.2020. I have been reading what you write for a little while now. I have a couple of mantras I say to myself a whole lot, that have helped me over the years. This mantra I made about 5 years ago. It has taken me time to fully connect with it. Here is this mantra: To be in control is to let go of control. The other mantra I say is: I am at peace within myself. Oh, another one is: to live in the moment. We are not our past. One can let it go and move on and live in the moment. Peace. =^..^=
from dangerspouse :
You're probably right about the CIA, at least.
from orgami :
Thank You for your note Poetry is my great passion there are those here that believe this also that passion is within words the language of the written a place of depth and lightness imagination and intimate studies
from enurta :
you are far too kind. I've missed you. but I'm not doing as well as you think....I fucked up bigtime today...guess that's just life. it bites you in the ass when you least expect it.
from enurta :
thank you for your kind words :) btw, that dream sounded cool. what did sweden look like? *hugs*
from enurta :
yeah. you're right. *hugs*
from enurta :
this is embarressing but i've lost your password again. sorry. and thanks for the comment. i've never heard that song but i'm going to download it today :P xxx
from enurta :
I've lost your password. can you send it to deadpassive@hotmail.com? thanks. I hope you are okay *hugs*
from enurta :
that was a really brave thing to do. you should be proud :) I'm glad you did it...I just hope he doesn't hurt you. because i care about you and i want you to be happy. *hugs*
from enurta :
you have facebook? I have too! can i add you? maybe you don't want to write your name here....e-mail it to me if you like. my e-mail is deadpassive@hotmail.com
from enurta :
i want to see your haircut!!! can't you post pics???? *hugs*
from enurta :
yeah i know what that feels like. i have a hard time seeing the positive things too....*hugs*
from enurta :
yes i have your password and i've been reading your diary for almost a week now i think. and by the way - your life is not pointless and stupid. you are a kind, loving person, the person you love hurt you that's all. i can't imagine what that must feel like. but i'm sure you have people that care about you. i know i do :) try writing about the people in your life that make you feel better, a sister, a friend, a brother, a grandma, anyone. try to see the positive things in life sweetie. I try to do that every day. those people are what makes life worth living *hugs*
from enurta :
oh. i forgot to ask about the user/pass. can u send it to deadpassive@hotmail.com? xxx
from enurta :
thanks for adding me. i will add you too :) *hugs*
from afsd94 :
That's awesome!
from afsd94 :
hi, u sound really cool, btw, i'm learning to play guitar too

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