messages to ariadne518:
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from elizamark :
Hello dear, I am Miss. Elizabeth Mark the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department SG-SSB bank limited, The board of directors mandated me to look for any known relation of late Mr. Morris Thompson who deposited a huge amount of money in our bank without claim, so l decided to contact you in confidence I pray with trust due to the way you receiving this sincere mail from me with surprise ,so you can apply for the claim of this funds with my full corporation so I can join you later in your country for better investment for more details and confidentiality contact in my private email addresses [email protected] or [email protected] God will surly bless you, Yours truly, Miss. Elizabeth Mark
from valli2 :
I don't know if you still read this but you are a role model for me ! I am currently working on my master's degree, which hopefully I'll get this year. Next I intend to take an exam to be a teacher (necessary in France) and after that, hopefully, work on a doctorate. I'll be lucky to only do half of what you do, you're an inspiration ! Take care, xx.
from zoela :
i love you, and your strong sense of justice, and your lgbt safe zone sticker! no eyebrows raised here.
from linguafranca :
Word. But I'm betting a lot of people will be fooled by the Trojan Horse, alas.
from revisions :
i have a friend working with an NGO in dar that does art, dance and drama for kids. let me know if you want the contact.
from revisions :
yes, for another 14 months. i'll be back in the US for the holidays but no permanent changes until next august.
from linguafranca :
Despite your bureaucratically-related anxieties, I find myself irrationally excited on your behalf. Tanzania! Eat some chips mayai for me when you get there. With pilipili sauce.
from revisions :
i know so much of it depends on perspective but i suppose that's where the difficulty is for me - for some reason i can only see life here in a particular way...a particularly negative way, to be specific. a large part of it has to do with my own expectations, i think. i wrongly assumed a certain level of freedom post-marriage and haven't quite reconciled the idea of give and take, although i'm nearly five years into the endeavor. is that terrible of me to say? maybe i just need to get over the idea of having a foot on both sides of the fence...i don't know. i just keep imaging a life where both parties can get/do what they want, but that place doesn't seem to exist. i'd love to discuss this over coffee, especially since you seem to have done well in achieving what i'm after. perhaps we can settle for a conversation over email? mine's my first and last name - one word lowercase - at gmail. i think you know it from myspace?
from zoela :
girl scout cookies!!! i'll take the thin mints!
from zoela :
Interesting observation. These days I avoid male friendships outside a work environment, because my ability to decipher underlying intentions has apparently failed. Now I'm paranoid when men are remotely friendly. That's my issue, not theirs, but I reckon I'm not the only one. Maybe Steve's coworker has the same chip on her shoulder. Or maybe it's a puritanical thing (or orthodox Jewish, or fundamentalist Muslim, or any sect that frowns on co-ed activities.) The pressure for segregation on both genders is simultaneously a relief and an irritation, because before marriage, I was just one of the guys, but now I'm suddenly seen as a woman, and worse yet, a forbidden woman...
from drgeek :
Regarding your statement: "And how can we know what women really "do" if our entire perception of them is rooted in/tainted by masculine or patriarchal parameters anyway?" How would describe a masculine or patriarchal parameter? Being a computer scientist, the term "parameter" has a certain encoded meaning. I'm curious to know how yours might differ and how the modifiers "masculine" and "patriarchal" apply.
from revisions :
a co-worker just went to ethiopia and found it to be absolutely fascinating. the only potential negative i've seen from his experience was that many of the historical sites (churches, monasteries, etc) were closed to women visitors. again though, i think it entirely depends on what you want to see while you are there. tanzania is fabulous, of course, and you could take the boat from dar over to zanzibar for a few nights. my husband has done several safaris in TZ and rates it way above the parks in kenya and uganda. let me know if you need any contacts...
from linguafranca :
Haven't been to Ethiopia, so can't make a real comparison, but my vote is for Tanzania. I hear the fees for safari in places like Ngorongoro are/have gone waaaayyy up, though. Like, a put the tour guides out of business degree of up. I have some friends who have done research with womens' groups in Tanzania. Be glad to put you in touch if you like, or to query on your behalf.
from drgeek :
I don't suppose you came up with any conclusions as to why there is a deficit in the education of women engineers in the U.S. vs other countries? I never really thought about it... but I've studied/worked with far more women engineers from India and China than from the U.S. Of course, I work in the software industry and I work with far more people from those places in general that I do with Americans. Are women just more likely to become lawyers or work in marketing? And what part of the field are all these engineers around the world pursuing?
from zoela :
wow, i didn't realize we were ALIENS. i do wish you lived closer. it's ridiculous that in this era, and even in sf, i STILL feel that my not so outlandish desire for such simple concepts as equality and choice, puts me in such opposition to the world.
from drgeek :
re: "marrying a feminist" Let's just hope that whoever did this survey about feminism having no correction with lesbianism, flannel shirt and boot wearing, and living a relatively happy and satisfied life is not getting tenure based on this sort of research.
from drgeek :
Regarding the "healthy body healthy mind" thing, I believe you are experiencing what the Buddhists would call too many aggregates of attachment. You're defining yourself too much in terms of your job, your house, your politics, and your image of who you were as an idealistic boot-wearing undergrad. You are not letting yourself have the space to be who you are right now. This is a temptation that everyone faces. All the world is balance, and there are certainly times when a little sloth is more than beneficial, it is necessary. So, enjoy winter break -- it's what they are for!
from revisions :
bush administration...sorry i was typing fast...
from revisions :
it's the fact the politics has become based upon issues that really have no great importance in the larger scheme of national and foreign policy. huckabee is not going to criminalize abortion - but he is using this pseudo-religious platform to institute a regime that is far worse that the bus administration. did you see his interview on meet the press? he wants to declare war on pakistan! what an idiot! americans are too damn misinformed....
from zoela :
i love you. migraines and all. so there.
from revisions :
it's coming...i've been continent hopping...
from drgeek :
If you'd like some scientific justification for the idea that the test is all bovine scatology anyway, check out this link: http://unexpectedtruths.blogspot.com/2007/06/fallacy-of-hard-tests.html I'm not positive the guy is right, but he does make a compelling argument.
from zoela :
Sounds oddly similar to my studies in art history. Eurocentric focus, exclusively male artists, and a slow reaction to contemporary art movements. Sure, Michelangelo and Da Vinci were great too, but the bulk of my studies revolved around female artists. You know, the ones no one's heard of.
from livesand :
America has been an empire since independence. Early on it was an idealistic "empire of liberty", to quote Jefferson, and since then it's become just plain imperial. There are costs, of course. 3000 dead in the Iraq adventure is cheap as these things go even if it's all for nothing. Even the neocons are admitting it was a stupid idea, oh well.
from drgeek :
It is my experience that nearly everyone who enters a Ph.D. program feels like a fraud... or as I used to call it "faking it". That feeling will pass. You won't feel like a fraud by the time you get one. You can do it! I have faith in you!
from drgeek :
Re: Gaddafi's women. The parties you go to are just so freakin' cool! I can merely bask in the majestic reflected glow of your coolness.
from zoela :
Is that why they wouldn't give me health insurance? They said it was because I fell just short of the child-bearing age weight requirement, which really ticked me off since my life plans do not include kids. Funny, because if I had insurance, I'd get a nutritionist, but I guess they don't care about MY health because I'm not an unborn fetus.
from drgeek :
There's a lot going on in your life right now... and it's at times like that when I find myself getting emotional at the oddest of times. I know that I had all my stuff packed in boxes, I would inevitably feel a moment of absolute panic if I couldn't find what I am looking for. But then, that's me... I get rather obsessive when I am stressed. You are in the middle of multiple transitions; new worlds are opening, old ones closing. It will all be ok, one of these days soon.
from zoela :
Yeah, I read a similar article about the sexy costume phenomenon. So of course after reading it I began censoring my ideas at the costume shop. I had to be aptly covered and proper so as not to be seen as one of THOSE girls. My own judgment began to oppress me. But when I saw those red butterfly wings and torn stockings, I was freed. I got the wings, the cool tights allowed me to wear my favorite knee high boots the way they're meant to be worn, and I painted fake blood around my lips. And I finally wore that mini skirt for the first time -- the one waaay in the back of the closet, and on that day I didn't feel self conscious about showing my legs, which normally would make me feel pretty silly. So I contest the assumption that a woman being "sexy" (however that's defined) on Halloween is something to be ashamed of. It's the only day in the year where we're allowed to be what we normally suppress.
from valli2 :
hey!! i don't write on here anymore but i still read your entries. it's great you're taking French!! i hope you'll like it. if you have any questions you don't find answers to in books, just let me know :) take care.
from drgeek :
Shopping for a house... living wills... 401k plans... yeah, being grown-ups. Mrs. Geek and I are still looking for something child-like to do to counteract the fact that we had wills drawn up a few weeks back.
from revisions :
oh no kidding! that song is catchy as hell!
from livesand :
The Ramones. Now you're talking!
from drgeek :
you look very fit, happy, and relaxed on your North African vacation... (looking around at the glow of man made light, and my expanding waistline) color me a mild shade of envious... *grin*
from drgeek :
I must take issue with the whole "lonely but unaffected career man" theory. Single career men are FAR more likely to die of heart problems by 50 than women... One easy way for men to add 10 years to their lives? Get married.
from livesand :
You've never found Hooters girls or strippers in your classes? I have one or two Hooters girls in my biology classes every year, maybe not quite that many strippers. But I have ~350 students a year, too. They rarely tell me, but there are various clues and some other students mention it in passing (!!). I had a star of the Huntsville, AL, roller derby team in my class this year too; with a B in biology she graduated with a degree in Communication Arts.
from zoela :
There's only one way around this: All girls must be encouraged to marry rich men! (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... My sense of humor cracks me up.)
from drgeek :
Laissez les bon temps rouler! Hope you had a good Fat Tuesday. I also thought that picture of you in the alley on Naxos was a great picture... very nice.
from livesand :
Jefferson Airplane described the situation 35 years ago: "The good folk come to burn thee..." South Dakota returns to true form.
from f-i-n :
nobody really works out here in miami...except those little purse-sized dogs.
from revisions :
thanks for inspiring my cosmetic revolution. i'm ashamed that i didn't think of this stuff on my own...but since reading your entry i've thrown out the old and brought in new, certified organic products. have you found any organic mascara? it's my one beauty product i use everyday.
from zoela :
I'm glad you brought this up. It's also better to buy European products, since they have better health regulations. Deodorant is a biggie too. Anti-perspirants are the devil. The first Bare Escentuals was founded just down the street from where I live. Represent! Even stuff they sell at Whole Foods contains dangerous ingredients, so you have to really hunt for the good stuff. Castile soap is a good multi-purpose alternative...I could go on and on about this topic.
from revisions :
congratulations!!! how did you land the job without a ph.d - out of curiosity? i'm just about dying to teach back east after my thesis - but was "advised" that doctoral work was a necessity before applying...
from drgeek :
You go, Theresa "Foxy" Social-Democrat! Don't let anyone make you be true to anyone other than yourself! The Zen koan says "If you see a Buddha coming down the road, kill it"... or in other words, most self-described "thinking" people wouldn't know real thought if it came up and bit them on the ass.
from drgeek :
Why do students at an engineering school not stand up for themselves in the face of descriminatory treatment of women in the classroom? Good question... I don't have a good answer. Having spent two years at an undergraduate institution of the sort you seem to describe, I think a lot of different cultural agendas come into play. First off, the young men who generally become engineers are of a politically conservative bent -- as you say, your homies are pretty insensitive. You should have read the editorials to the school paper my Junior year when someone proposed setting up a support organization for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals on campus. There seemed to be some very righteous indignation that any one like that would ever attend the school -- which probably explains why one of the guys on my floor my senior year didn't come out to any of us until a few years after graduation. I think another part of it is that the science classroom is not a place where a lot of questioning about the moral and social order occurs. Not a lot of reading of The Catcher In The Rye, Das Kapital, The Autobiography of Malcolm X, or anything by Jacques Derrida going on there. You do a lot of math. There are a lot of involved lab work. The classroom is a very hierarchical place, with the professor doing a lot of talking and the students doing a lot of note taking. It's all sad really... engineers in the 19th century were social thinkers and philosophers as much as they were inventors and bridge builders. That sense of social participation in engineering was lost sometime during the last century and the engineer became the mere technological tradesman.
from doing-it :
I found your diary though the newlywed ring - I'll be honest, I've only read 2 of your entries, so I can't really comment on how well we relate to each or anything - but it was nice to read them...I'll probably read more when I get to! :)
from m0nique :
Oh so want to know what you are thinking about genes !. I am a fourth year (Bcs (tech): Genetics Major, Philosophy of science minor)
from m0nique :
wow. neat pic's.
from zoela :
Thank you for speaking my mind, yet again, using the exact words that needed to be said.
from zoela :
OH MY GOODNESS GOSH, that picture of you is FABULOSO! You are my exact build though so that can't be good. Let's both get fat, American style. Don't you just HATE it when people comment on your weight/build? Sorry this is just about the lamest comment I've ever left you. ...Okay just one more stupid comment/question: Did you eat any guinea pig? (I didn't mean for that to sound obnoxious. It's hard to mention eating guinea pig without sounding obnoxious.)
from livesand :
Gad, things must be rough if Fujimori looks good. But I read your mention of Picaflor Station with interest; if I was doing tropical work that would be a place I'd seek out. I've heard their name over the last several years and I'm glad they seem to still be up and running. I just saw the movie Motorcyle Diaries last week, and I always imagined stations like Picaflor to look kinda like the one Che and his pal visit. Good luck with Cuzco; is the former guerilla leader Hugo Blanco still around? He's a good guy if you do meet him, he's not at all a pistolero.
from letaboo :
glad to hear you're having fun - Pisac ruins are just a tiny taste of what you're probably seeing right now in Machu Picchu. I got scabies in the jungle in Ecuador, so I can sympathize with Steve - it' no fun, and kinda gives you the willies to think about the fact that there's little critters living under your skin. I had to rub this stinky tonic on my skin every day for a week to get rid of 'em, and my nice golden tan was marred with tiny white polkadots of un-tanned skin. Anyway, enjoy Machu Picchu!
from zoela :
I'm sure you're Spanish isn't "el sucko." Hahaha. Hope you're having lots of fun. Can't wait to read all about it when you come back! ~me
from letaboo :
7/21/05 you've probably already left but just in case, i wanted to wish you a wonderful trip. say hi to Peru for me if you get a chance.
from letaboo :
7/21/05 you've probably already left but just in case, i wanted to wish you a wonderful trip. say hi to Peru for me if you get a chance.
from zoela :
hollah!
from drgeek :
Congrats on your anniversary! You got married and I got married almost exactly a year apart... If you ever get your spa idea off the ground, let me know if I can assist (see http://drgeek.diaryland.com/050211_5.html). You can just call me swami rama-bindu-vedanta-kabbulah-bob.
from m0nique :
Hi. Yes , New Zealanders ( like the ozys) fear USA as much as anyone at the moment. Some Americans at my university have taken to wereing badges or bumper stickers stateing they are americam but dint vote for Bush. People a getting worryed about the number of americans buying land near and pushing up prices , feeling its just as they want somewhere to flea to when it all gose wrong. Dint know that about the author of Handmaids tail ( about being afganastan before writeing it ). There are some feaky simalaries with the curent state of things. But at least some of us have our eyes open.
from drgeek :
Yes Dorothy, I think we are in Kansas... as least as far as politics is concerned. Some rather scary people have been given all the keys to the country in the last few years, and I think we're all going to suffer for it in the end. Still, I think some people are starting to wake up and smell the coffee. Already, events are taking shape in very different directions than our leaders predicted in their post-election euphoria of six months ago. I think things are probably going to get a bit worse before they'll start to get better... but we have to start somewhere, right? I will agree that this country is in a MASSIVE amount of denial... over the sustainability of our materialistic lifestyle, over the way we are addicted to foreign oil and cheap electricity like herion, over the impact of global warming, over how our schools turn out far more lawyers than engineers and scientists, and over the abuses being heaped on workers in the name of lower prices at Walmart. I don't even want to think about the emerging nations of the world... about how the median age is going to be 50 in North America and 25 in Africa in 20 years, and what that is going to mean. Fortunately, I don't think all hope is lost... though I sometimes think that the economic and social influence of the United States has passed its apex already, I find myself hoping that we will still be an important player on the world stage for the rest of my life... and that we will say some valuable and important things again... once we get some leaders with the wisdom and insight to say them.
from zoela :
Guinea worm. You make me laugh.
from valli2 :
oh my god! you said you were nearly fluent in French, this is fantastic!! i remember when around two years ago you left me a note and said that the extent of your French was "salut �a va?" and it means you've leanrt so quickly, i am very impressed. our language isn't so easy to learn for someone whose native language doesn't have latin origins. you're just really gifted i guess. anyway...if you ever visit Paris, i'd be very honored to show you the city around! feel free to come and practice a bit of French heh. i'll keep reading, as usual. xx.
from zoela :
HOLY ****! (censored) By the way, did you hear about the Foxblocker? It's a device for your television set that censors FOX. http://foxblocker.com. But I find throwing it out the window works just as well.
from m0nique :
still reading ... Monique , New Zealand.
from letaboo :
Hey, i just saw a quote that immediately made me think of you in your struggles trying to talk with people about safety while travelling: "How do I stop being afraid? Know that there is no safety anywhere. There never was and there never will be. Stop looking for it. Live with a fierce intent to waste nothing of yourself or life." - Ann Shulgin
from zoela :
High-five for that entry.
from drgeek :
Do you think it is snobby to say that if you travel, you should make at least some attempt to experience a culture on its own terms? Is that not especially true if the goal is to broadcast the travelogue to America to perhaps broaden the minds of the American public as well? I tend to think so... and it is not snobby at all. I think snobby is going to someone else's country and not having the humility to act like guests. You go girl!
from zoela :
I'm back now. But for future reference, my email is my real name @yahoo.com. (I think you know my real name?) We got stranded at Newark airport overnight without a hotel (our flight was delayed) and I totally considered looking you up in the phonebook! Except that it was late and it would have been more than a little tacky (and extremely strange) to meet you, crash on your couch, and leave. Anyway, the trip was wonderful. Time to expatriate.
from lauraska :
Theresa! It's Laura Draper! It's amazing what Google can do. I hope all is well with you. My blog URL is www.lauraska.blogspot.com I'd like to add a link to your blog, if you'd be okay with that!
from drgeek :
What?!? You mean that Bill Frist, M.D. (as it says on his Senate office door) was providing medical misinformation in order to further an ideological agenda? I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you! Especially since he pronounced on the Senate floor that Terry Schiavo was clearly not in a persistent vegetative state and could recover after merely reviewing an hour of video tape of her. Without men such as Bill Frist, we would all be lost... and trying hard to invent the wheel (I don't know about you, but those wheel thingies give me the creeps!) More seriously, I have to think that the current crop of "neo-con cultural conservatives" in power in Washington must be driving some of the Republican "political conservatives" nuts. I hardly think that what we have is a the kind of "New Federalism" that even Ronald Reagan would want.
from zoela :
I'm leaving the country! I'm leavin' on a jet plane in a matter of hours! HOURS! I'll tell all about where I've gone when I come back. I'm so excited! Maybe we'll unknowingly see each other at an airport somewhere?
from zoela :
That's my favorite picture so far.
from drgeek :
I was reading parts of the "What Dubya Got Right" article in Newsweek a couple days ago and it almost made me sick too. I had a perilous thought this morning: now that World War II and FDR memorials are complete or in the works in Washington, what recently past or present Presidents are going to be future subjects of Washington memorials? Someone is going to say Ronald Reagan or Dubya, surely. That thought sickens me. FDR led the country through the Depression and a World War and his social reforms, while intellectually questionable in the minds of some, have been largely effective for many, many others. Can we really say anything remotely similar about Reagan or Dubya? I think not.
from revisions :
re: east africa...i got a bug to go and then kept getting one to go back. i've been to uganda a few times and my husband has been to kenya, tanzania, congo, rwanda, and uganda. we are attempting to plan a trip to kenya and sudan this summer. i would highly recommend going though- the people are wonderful and the area is beautiful. did you like the arcade fire?
from drgeek :
The New York Times had an excellent article describing the history of the Social Security system in the Sunday Times a few weeks back. In it, they explain that Bush's rationale for "Social Security in crisis" is hokum. The system is not broke, and won't even be short a dime until after 2019. When it finally does run out of money after 2040, it will still be able to pay out benefits to 80% of the people who are eligible. Bush's move seems largely ideological, rather than practical. Republicans have opposed it in one way or another since the very beginning... and have also opposed some of the more practical ways to fix it. The Dubyas present proposal wants to put a sort of "401k" face on the system, but this is almost purely a cosmetic move. It fails to address the underlying problem of a fiscal shortfall. That can be dealt with in only two ways: somehow reducing benefits or increasing payroll taxes. There are ways to address both with minimal impact on the lives of the poor -- there's a $100K cap on taxable income for Social Security, for example. If the rich just paid as big a percentage as the poor, then some of the problems of the current system could be dealt with.
from revisions :
i meant canada....now i am stupid.
from revisions :
you should check out the arcade fire..they are from canade, and absolutely fantastic. so far, i haven't found anyone else like them. by the way, love your africa pictures. i have spent several summers in east africa and your photos really take me back.
from drgeek :
Regarding "The Market Model" in music, I think there used to be a LOT more people willing to take a chance on different bands and different sounds than there are now. The music and media industries are highly consolidated right now, and very few people are the ones choosing what gets made and what gets played. The barriers for introducing content into the system are absurdly high that there can be no more truly independent record labels these days. Band manager and former IRS Records founder Miles Copeland tried to start a new indie label a few years ago and discovered that it cost more than $50K just to get a single song played on the radio in a small group of markets in the United States. At those prices, he quickly reasoned that he did not and never would have the capital to put a succussful label together. No, we are stuck living in the world of assembly line media. I think that the record industry has shot itself in both feet and is contemplating shooting out its knees. It's sad.
from zoela :
WHERE did you find these tickets?! I'm debating whether to have another round of Europe in June: Poland, Slovakia, Czech Republic and Hungary. (HB is dying to see what he missed out on.) The synagogue is taking a once in a lifetime trip, and since its a frilly group thing, it would be more than I've ever spent on travel. But if I don't get on a plane soon, I will surely die.
from drgeek :
After looking at the history of the Miss World Pageant, it does not surprise me that it resembles the "Miss How-White-Can-We-Be" contest more than not. It is yet another beauty pageant dreamed up decades ago by some white businessman or another trying to make a buck in a cash-strapped tourist destination (in the UK, in this case.) It therefore embodies the classic Western European idea of the acceptable construction of race -- something that is exotic and enlightening provided that it a) is really fairly "white" in its appearance and ideals, b) can be held at a carefully controlled distance, and c) pleasantly sampled when one wants to "visit". Therefore, Mr. and Mrs. American Tourist don't want to sample the actual cuisine of sub-Saharan Africa. Instead, they want their Whopper with the special "Sahara Sauce" instead of ketcup, mustard, and mayo and be able to say "oh the local cuisine was so WONDERFUL".
from letaboo :
don't remember any altitude sickness while i was there. the indigenous people use a plant/herb for altitude sickness, i forget what it's called. i'll let you know if i find the name.
from zoela :
Thank god for people like you! You spoke my mind and brightened my day.
from letaboo :
i have a link for you of a good resource for traveler info in South America: http://www.samexplo.org/
from drgeek :
I must also admit that I followed the link in your diary to view the pic of your student. She seems a lovely example of the female form. I think anyone who says otherwise has obviously spent too much time staring at the Photoshop-ed and surgically enhanced images of models and centerfolds spoonfed to them by society while they sit in front of their computers, one hand on the keyboard, the other stuck in a bag of cool ranch Doritos. No, they have spent too much time doing that and not enough time in the presence of real women in the flesh. Regarding your assertation that you feel like you are "faking it"... I too must advise that you not worry about it. Speaking as a man who has nine years of grad school under his belt, I must take umbrage with Peggy Orenstein's observation that this is something that men never experience. I certainly experienced it... and so did many other men of my acquaintance. While I think that women academics have to face many problems from the "boys club" that academia has been for far too long, I don't think this is one of them. I'm sure, ariadne, you are bright, brilliant, and exceptionally competent -- you just need to get used to the idea that you are the "expert" in the room, and not the student.
from livesand :
I admit I had to look... your student is human looking, good looking even. I don't know if that helps... at least she didn't linked by fark(!).
from livesand :
I admit I had to look... your student is human looking, good looking even. I don't know if that helps... at least she didn't linked by fark(!).
from zoela :
We were about to have a heat wave. All the weather men predicted the sun would come out. The sky over California is gray, and ready to weep. What are we going to do?
from letaboo :
re: Peru, i only spent about 3 weeks there, but i'd be happy to tell you what i know. email me with any questions: atelathehun (at) yahoo (dot) com
from zoela :
I SO needed to hear that today. My entire social circle appears to have been brainwashed. I've felt uneasy all day. Something has changed over here in California. It feels like an iron curtain is ready to drop on us, but no one is saying a thing. What happened to my liberal home? -Franka
from letaboo :
oh Peru! Machu Pichu is amazing, and if you like hiking, you should do the Inca Trail. I skipped that part because i didn't have enough time. One downside to Peru is that it's so big it takes forever to travel to different parts of the country. You should definitely see Ecuador while you're in that part of the world - it's much smaller but with plenty to see still, and the people are friendlier!
from zoela :
If Bush gets a second term, the San Francisco Bay Area will NOT take the news well! I am certain there will be rioting here if W wins. Lets hope it doesn't happen. Already securing plans to flee.
from zoela :
You make me laugh out loud. (PS. Amazon told me I'd like the Shins too.) If you see Apollo Sunshine live, find Sam (short curly-haired one) after the show and tell him you know the girl in California who asked him if he was Jewish.
from zoela :
AGHHH! RICK STEVES!!! I went to one of his seminars here. I stayed for the question and answer session afterward, and asked him about the safety of a woman traveling alone. (Me.) All the other questions he had quick answers for, but this was a subject he hadn't prepared for. I think it never occured to him-- It was something he never had to think about, being a man. Anyway, just thought I'd share my Rick Steves moment. And guess what? The money's in the bank and I'm FINALLY starting to plan my next trip! (!!!) Love hearing about your current adventure. Give Hans and Helga my love.
from letaboo :
7/8/04 - it's me again. my father is a professor at a local state university and experiences similar challenges - constantly getting students who can barely write at a high school level. i think you're right about it being a matter of students (and their parents) viewing themselves as consumers and education being a service industry. i think it's also a result of junior high and high school students being told practically every single day that they won't do anything important with their life unless they get a college education. and instead of universities responding by becoming more selective, they've taken the opposite route, perhaps based on another common belief in this culture that everyone deserves an education. i heard something on NPR the other day about a huge number of students who will be flooding the higher education system soon - way too many for the current universities to provide education for even a fraction of them. perhaps this will give schools the opportunity to raise their standards once again.
from letaboo :
i hadn't heard about the peace group in Oregon, but i know practically the identical thing happened in Fresno, CA - they only realized that the officer was a spy when he died (for non-related reasons) and someone in the group saw his obituary, with a different last name. Regarding the legality of prisoners held indefinitely at Guantanamo Bay, did you hear about the Supreme Court ruling yesterday (6/28/04)? read about it here: http://tinyurl.com/3xnd8
from letaboo :
the wedding picture is adorable - it is very obvious that you two are in love. i need to get more pictures of myself and smitten like that. i'm curious though - as an intelligent feminist, what made you decide to wear the traditional white, signifying purity/virginity/etc?
from zoela :
(Its me, Franka.) You are more like me than I realized! I can relate so well to all of that...Now I am teary-eyed. Really good entry. You're much closer to me in age than I thought!
from letaboo :
the letter to your dad is beautiful and very touching. thank you for sharing it.
from letaboo :
my vote for 80's prom dresses goes to the pink thing you had when you were 13, or the yuppie cocktail dress. something that's not too hideous, but not so attractive that it can be mistaken for a contemporary 80's rip-off either.
from valli2 :
Happy Birthday!!! May you have a nice day and lovely presents and a good cake heh! Take care, xoxo.
from livesand :
I'm glad you guys went to the DC march. A constant thread in my life for the past 30 years is a visceral dislike for right-to-lifers. They bring out a them or us reaction in me, I know there's no possible compromise. Yuck!
from beth526 :
Hey, I found your diary through the engaged diaryring and I think it's really unique. And I love the description of you in your profile.
from luvabeans :
about the "girls say" entry: i don't really have an answer to your question as to why many women seem catty, but it's funny; i was just talking to one of my best friends last night (male), not necessarily discussing intergender friendships, but just discussing people in general. you know, i often forget that smart, genuinely interesting people are harder to come by than i assume. i often beat myself up because i can't bring myself to like (otherwise perfectly nice) people who only manage to talk about boring, petty things. could be that your eyes and ears are attuned to be more critical of other women, because society says we should identify with our own gender. it can be hard for smart, opinionated people of both genders to find kindred spirits. i think society (jeez ... i'm giving a lot of credit to that heavy societal hand, eh?) does teach women to be competetive with one another, and i think that much of it has to do with the still existing patriarchy as well as the beauty myth. of course, there's an ocean of other potential reasons as well, but i'm not really prepared to write an essay. hee. i dig your diary, lady. be well.
from livesand :
I just read your entry largely about gossip. I'm not a sociobiologist, but maybe what we see is some aspect of primate social behavior that seeks to establish some kind of hierarchy or social structure. This has obviously been affected by settled human culture. But as a biologist I unavoidably see us as fundamentally terrestrial primates. It's all an interesting question you raise, I certainly don't have the answers!
from m0nique :
Love your diary have been reading for a while now.
from valli2 :
I'd say, people are weird. They need to categorize people and say "girls act catty" and boys don't, so they can't go together and simply be friends. Bullshit. Girls should feel free to be either friends with guys or girls and vice versa. Heh, i had a male friend, he was the only guy in our little group of 6 persons. So, there. And also, I'm in a literary section at high school...life makes that there are 3 guys for 19 girls in my class, and sometimes it's quite relaxing to just hang out with the guys who are never bitchy or talk about other people's lives as most girls surrounding me do. I don't get why lots of girls do that BUT I also have to say that it is not only a 'girls thing' because sometimes I just listen to guys from other sections and THEY talk about other people's lives and all. So, there isn't any law or kind of division thing. It sounds quite stupid to me.... Also, Simone de Beauvoire had this sentence which I love (translated by me so, beware) : Girls weren't born as girls, they became girls. SO true. We're not meant to act bitchy or anything as if it was our essence, we learn it by copying other girls' behaviours and what the society says is good/normal/model behaviours. Maybe if the ladies, little girls take for models stopped being bicthy and 'act girly' (Gawd knows I hate this expression) little girls wouldn't become so and wouldn't take it for granted that it is normal for them to talk about people's lives and comment on them other girls' outfits for hours. And to finish, some psychologist (? suspicious word I think) detail I read in a (serious) French magazine and that I think might be interesting : the title of the article was "Men, Women....naturally incompatible?" and then it listed the details that make that we are different and not supposed to act the same way, because we have different brains (ahhh hormones!!) : men are more emotional but they don't talk about their emotions (they're supposed to be more centered on competitions apparently) whereas women are less emotional but always feel the need to talk about what they feel. And the bad thing is that when they learnt to only have feelings and be receptive to what their girls mates do/what outfit they are wearing and all, it turns out to be catastrophic. Have a nice day, xoxox.
from livesand :
Thanks for the kind words. Academia is a cross between running your own small business and keeping a personal crusade going. But you already knew that...
from gentle-soul :
Hey Beautiful! You are a continued light of truth, intellect and equality! Your ability to invoke powerful thoughts in your readers is magnificent! Please keep being this awesome force that is you! The real world needs you to be... Sincerely, One of Your Biggest Fans! XoXo
from princessgwyn :
i love reading your blog because it always makes me think. i don't always have answers to the questions that you pose but i always leave feeling a little more enlightened and a little more thoughtful. thanks.
from valli2 :
I have an Africa fund too. well not, really, my mom has, and I support her :) I understand everything you say about it and it's weird how people don't get it. YES I do LOVE Africa and people think it's not holidays going there. I really hope you can go there soon and bring back some photos...Lately I had a project with two friends, about making an association, and sending old books to Africa, where people in some villages desperately need them and we, in Europe throw them away when they're a bit old and they just go with garbage. Silly. So, there, I want Africa too!!! Good luck for your fund. xoxox.
from livesand :
The key thing about teaching at the college level is it's really running a small business. Like you just wrote, it's a continuous hustle. Congrats on getting more teaching. Personally, I'm teaching too much now, basically all of our intro biology courses. So you have to be careful what you wish for! At least it's a whole lot easier with time.
from letaboo :
It seems that the FCC might even be vulnerable to corporate interests vs. intelligent thought - have you seen this article before? http://www.bitchmagazine.com/archives/07_01revolution/revolution.shtml BTW - have you considered adding a link to the notes page on your site? You'd probably get more comments if you did.
from erato :
Caught your banner. Love your diary. Thank you.
from letaboo :
Oooh! Czech Republic! Hungary! Have you considered Romania? South Africa sounds great too. I too have encountered irrational fears of foreign countries way too often. I used to work at an intercultural exchange company for high school students and the parents would come up with the silliest arguments against their kids going to countries they obviously knew very little about. It was refreshing talking to the high school students who would at least admit their ignorance about a country and were usually open to learning more about it before making a judgement.
from letaboo :
hey there- i've been reading your diary for a while now and I love that it always challenges me to think about issues that are important to me in a new way. Regarding your entry on Metrosexuals, I take a rather pessimistic outlook and see this trend as the result of yet another marketing ploy, to get more customers for cosmetic companies. And we're seeing the exact result that these companies want: even more people's self-worth are dependent on consumer products. Sure, men's cosmetics isn't the start of this, there's Rogaine and hair color. (I almost brought up Viagra, but I think the huge demand for Viagra is a separate, very Freudian phenomenon that companies are benefiting from without having to create the demand.) But this Metrosexual/Queer Eye phenomenon creates a whole new standard. And it disgusts me for the same reason that women's beauty standards disgust me - because it creates a false ideal that is practically impossible to live up to. I imagine that at some point we'll forget that men don't have unblemished skin and perfectly colored lips natually, just as we have forgotten that most modern women don't look like they do naturally. A friend of mine works at an elementary school; she doesn't shave her legs and some of the kids were confused about whether she was a man or woman because all the women they know shave, so they assumed that women just don't grow hair on their legs.
from franka :
(When you said you were a traveler, wow, you MEANT it!) Have fun!
from dig-deep :
Hello, I saw your banner, and decided to click and see where it took me. I was pleasantly surprised and just wanted to say that I enjoyed your writing, and that I completely agree with you on the facts of MTV and other 'youth oriented' channels. I mean, I wasn't around with MTV or Much Music did good pieces, but I wish I had been. Even as a youth of today, I am disappointed in the meaningless crap they try to fill our heads with these days.
from whirledpiece :
good for you. you really should write to Vh1, MTV etc and complain to them for having been so public about AIDS awareness but then on National AIDS day doing nothing. Honestly you should. You have a good head on your shoulders and its good to see someone so intelligent be so vocal about how they feel. Rock on. Have a good day. -whirledpiece
from breezip :
Hey, surfed in from your banner. What a great journal you have--very glad to have stumbled upon it, and you. So glad women with politics (and humor) like yours get to indoctrinate the collegiate set! Take care, Bree
from eternalrain7 :
God... You have a knack for making people think. Its inspirational. Thanks!
from franka :
Thank you for the (as usual) sound advice. I reacted less-than-brilliantly to the situation. I'm embarrassed, but writing it out helped...I should make more time for female companionship and get into dance again... Yesterday I learned an aquaintance is in the midst of intercultural-relationship in-law problems, and I was glad to be able to share my experience and hope she won't give up. You must be a DARN good professor, to know each individual so well. I think I already said this, but it's reassuring to know that someone like you is spreading important values to so many people. It's contagious, you know. -Thanks again.
from franka :
Oh MAN. I think this might interest you. Especially read comments at the end! PAH! http://209.157.64.200/focus/f-news/983498/posts
from valli2 :
hello! i was wondering about something and wanted to ask you because i think you can answer...i wanted to know if, in American colleges, there are french courses. i'm actually thinking (as one of my two main options) of becoming a french teacher abroad, in an english-speaking country since that's the language i can handle the best. i hope you can answer this. take care, your diary is awesome.
from samedi :
The description in your 'pele pele' entry made me think of Saipan - I have a friend who is originally from there, and the pictures she's shown me have an amazingly green landscape, tropical flora, and breathtaking cliffs ... In addition to that, I can understand the frustation of everyone telling you that Brasil is too dangerous to visit - I'd been invited to go on a trip to Vietnam this past spring, and anytime I'd mention the possibility of going to someone they'd immediately start up on what a bad choice it would be to go (as it was, we never did go - the person that had invited me decided that it was too dangerous to go because SARS was starting to spread south from China, and since he spoke Vietnamese and I didn't we decided that we would both go together some other time instead). I hope the plans for your trip end up going a lot smoother!!
from franka :
I live 6 hours north of the fires. Southern California seems to have fires like this every year, but it never stops them from building houses in their dry hills.. It seems there could be ways to prevent this.
from m0nique :
Oh my Gosh ! . Have been stumbling around diary land thinking that its full of idiots , but , wow!. You get it . Thank you so much for proving me wrong .
from franka :
One of my friends went to Brazil and loved it. Funny that some people's first response is fear. My dad has dreamt of going there his entire life. I've seen some amazing pictures of Brazil...An orange sun setting over the water, and a rope attached to a tree that someone is swinging off of, about to splash into the still water... Portuguese must be my favorite spoken language to hear... Read about Curitiba. Sounds like paradise to me.
from franka :
You have the cohones.
from franka :
Oh my God. Exactly! YES! Your ability to read my thoughts is...wow. Parallel worlds... The jingle that angers me is "Mama knows the magic of Clorox" ..because only "mama" knows the magic of...what, LAUNDRY?! THAT is primitive. What magazine was it?
from goodsandwich :
I wish I weren't part of the choir, so when you preach I could have a conversion experience!
from franka :
Are you okay? Take care of yourself okay? The world needs you! I do that too--I'm strong when I'm alone, but as soon as family is there to comfort me, I lose it and cry. Hope you're feeling better and feeling loved. Have fun at the concert!
from eternalrain7 :
Since I've arrived here at USC, I've been bombarded with these sudden urges to explore the world beyond Los Angeles. It is with that in mind, that I have decided to spend a semester studying in Accra, Ghana. This is something that is very important to me, and I was wondering if you, an ardent traveler, could offer any insight into the cultures and traditions of Africa. I'm curious to know which country you visited and how was the trip. Would you return again? If you could send me a note with your perspective on my idea, I would very much appreciate it. I've never traveled before but I am anxious to experience cultures outside of my university. Thanks in advance for your response.
from goodsandwich :
Oh, how I feel ya on the name "issue." Why in the world is this still such a big deal? I mean of course I know why, but for cryin' in the night - I have a name, I choose to marry, I still have my name!
from eternalrain7 :
I, as a former "urban student" who now attends USC in Los Angeles, have found that teaching is not about simply instilling information, but also about nurturing talent and recongizing potential. Any teacher that I have had, regardless of color or culture or background, that has succeeded in doing those three things has been a TRUE inspiration to me. Therefore, I believe that your ability to reach the "inner-city" youth has nothing to do with your whether or not you relate to their situations, but your ability to recognize that the situations are going on, and in the midst of them, show that their potential to rise above what's going on still exists.
from eternalrain7 :
I, as a former "urban student" who now attends USC in Los Angeles, have found that teaching is not about simply instilling information, but also about nurturing talent and recongizing potential. Any teacher that I have had, regardless of color or culture or background, that has succeeded in doing those three things has been a TRUE inspiration to me. Therefore, I believe that your ability to reach the "inner-city" youth has nothing to do with your whether or not you relate to their situations, but your ability to recognize that the situations are going on, and in the midst of them, show that their potential to rise above what's going on still exists.
from franka :
I think you have to just challenge (not just the 7 anti-choice students but all) to forget what they�ve made a HABIT of believing for a moment and think deeper, to analyze the pros and cons of both arguments. I had a brilliant philosophy professor who made it his rule to teach but never tell us his personal philosophy. He stuck to that. I was so curious about what he really felt about philosophy and religion, that I�d try to persuade him to tell me. He told me he could tell me after the final. After the final, I waited for his answer. He told me that I was a good philosopher, and that I�d be able to figure that out myself. I was so mad, but I respected him even more for being standing by his noble decision not to interfere with our reasoning process. So instead of jumping on a bandwagon, we had to think, and for a couple weeks I thought so hard about different issues, I experienced something just short of despair before reaching concrete decisions about where I stood. But he didn�t just stand back and let his class think without structure. He taught us everything without raising an eyebrow, encouraged free debate, and then made us dive deep inside ourselves to think as rationally as we ever had. As far as I know, he could have disagreed with the philosophies I held. But I gave it a lot of un-biased thought, and took my time deciding. That�s important. If they do that, it doesn't matter as much if they still disagree.
from franka :
See Sting. You're friends will understand. If the concert sucks, or you feel really guilty, leave after he does all your favorite songs and finish the night at the party. If it was me, I'd kick myself for missing the concert, not a party. Or if you hate my advice, go to the party, but you must dress grunge and tear the hems out of your jeans. I change my mind on one condition--If there is a mosh pit at the party-- Go. Remember, stage diving was still allowed in the mid 90s! Yay!
from curiosekwe :
hi - im in a bit of a rush to plow through the diary right now, but i was wondering where in africa you went, and for what purposes. i spent 10 months in senegal recently, and had the opportunity to take an eco-safari in kenya while on the continent..
from franka :
Not pregnant. Whew. Relieved and a little sad too. And, I've firmly decided to get on a plane in December! :)
from diffuse :
new reader here... anyway, travel always seems to teach me a lot about myself. especially traveling by myself. when i'm in a country whose language i don't speak well (if @ all), surrounded by foreign things & foreign people, it makes my self stand out more in contrast, shows me my own self in a perspective i don't often get to see. plus, having to rely solely on myself (& often have only my inner monologue for real conversation), i see really quick where my strengths & weaknesses are!
from franka :
Ha ha. Insult? Looks like he's complimented you! Hey, I fit in his lump category too. Now I understand about not seeing the whole picture of the person behind a blog... Maybe its not the writer hiding behind an image, but more importantly, the way the reader PERCEIVES him. And whether they are loved or hated says more about the reader than the writer. So whats your thesis?
from vanoonoo :
hi there - thanks for your note. Your entries about online presence and stuff are pretty thought provoking, however I think you may have misquoted sourcerer: "Anyway, I thought I'd say, I don't like happily married people who travel all over the place and live in a perpetual vacation of delight. I just don't understand how I could ever get to that point. But it seems to be possible for some people. So loneliness and envy and jealousy abound in my bitter heart." he doesn't hate you or your journal, he's envious of what you have around you and what you share with your readers .... happy writing :)
from franka :
I think this online world we create is more real than we recognize. It�s a window into different worlds that may not have be experienced otherwise. Its one place you can learn what people REALLY think, because anonymity gives us courage to articulate thoughts without self-censorship. Its blind observation, since we know little about the source. But sometimes when we remove one of our senses, our other senses grow stronger. Obviously technology hasn�t saved us any time, like it promised. Its turned our neighborhoods (well, mine anyway), into cubicles of hermits who have forgotten how to interact. Yet we are still connected, still communicating--Only the language has changed. Diaries are a practice in taking the time to choose the words we meant to say, seeing the world through a stranger�s eyes, posting things we feel should be heard.. On the outside we�re just faces in a crowd. But this is where our souls are revealed. That must count for something. It�s cathartic to empty your mind in writing, and heavenly to be reassured by strangers afterward. If we are a microcosm of the bigger picture, then there is hope in humanity�Strangers reaching out to each other, mind to mind, heart to heart�Each entry is an opportunity to share what we have to offer. We learn about ourselves through a journal, refining our perspectives, and observing our own gradual evolution. Even shy people like me can put ourselves on stage here, in an arena full of thinkers and critics, without any apprehension at all. There is relief in being heard, and knowing you�re not the only one observing life, seeing the things you see. And even more interesting is to be the one listening. Like finding a message in a bottle that you were meant to find. Who knows where it came from or why. When you take away all the other distractions, all you are left with is what matters, the message itself.
from strummer- :
Great entry! What you�ve brought up is quite terrifying and I�m trying to wrap my head around it all. Is this all self-gratification? Attention seeking or validation? I don�t know. Maybe it�s the revolution of the REAL, like you mentioned before, civilians becoming celebrities, where Bob from NJ discovers he�s brave enough to jump from a building like in a Hollywood movie, or an ordinary girl in the suburbs of America calls herself Arsenictango and becomes the new Anne Frank, a prisoner of modernization. But isn�t that all just an illusion too? Propelled by further isolation? Yikes. And I�m a part of it. I love reading people�s diaries. I love the epiphanies and the self-pity poems, the mundane and the fantastic. I�m not sure exactly what I�m getting from all of this, but you�ve got me thinking, that�s for sure. With all the different blog sites and the thousands of users, I�m surprised there isn�t more media attention or analysis to this. It would make a very interesting book.
from goodsandwich :
My experience has been that if people are unstable, the internet is not the only impetus to remain so. The desire to be loved seems ingrained in us; what "love" looks like has been so distorted by advertising that even the wise can make a wrong turn. And I think it helps to keep in mind that, just as people try to make themselves look better through the anonymity of the 'net, they can inadvertently make themselves look *worse* too. What looks like "instability" in print without body language is probably often just the onscreen bravado of yet another decent ordinary person.
from valli2 :
Hi, i just wanted to let you know what i thought of your last entry. well, i think it made me want to remember why i first started my diary. lots of my friends had diaries and told me good stuffs about it, for example it can bring some souvenirs back when you read old thoughts. as my memory doesn't work that well in the long run, i thought it would be a good idea and i have to admit that sometimes, i read some of my old entries and think "aww, we spent good times with that friend then, lovely". so, that part works. it helps immortalizing some days or thoughts of your life, just like a photograph would do. and who doesn't like photographs? it is like written pics. then it became a bit more serious. there's the the fact that i am in a literary (hope this word exist) section at highschool. i wanted to join that section because i love writing and reading. therefore this diary makes me write. i have to. and it makes me approave my level in english because i have to translate everything that's on my mind, it is like an exercise. but for me, it has never been a 'look at me' thing. i really don't think so. i also think that you were right about the "star on the net" thing (if i understood well). everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, and it can happen thanks to a diary...well, sort of. it is like "safe-fame". you have your fans, but don't expose yourself too much. something's paradoxal though, because you don't really expose yourself since you don't know the people who read your thoughts and on the other hands you expose yourself terriby! sometimes i click on some banners because what's written on them intrigues me, and i came across diaries where people say so much about themselves! i am sure they don't say half of it in the reality because they may be afraid of people's reaction. but on the net, it is a safe way to expose yourself, without having to face the people. but i am also convinced that there are people who write to know themselves better. it is like an introspection. personally, i have to say my diary makes me "think". a lot. before i had this diary, i had some thoughts on my mind, but didn't try to 'let them make their way' and really go to a conclusion (whatever my thoughts were about). maybe i was lazy, or maybe i just didn't have the opportunity. this diary IS an opportunity. i write a sentence, and then i developp it, i make a real 'thought process'. the fact that i write the initial thought makes me feel like "ok, i can't leave it here, i have to developp it". and some other times, i am in some extremly good mood, and i can't think at all. i think happiness blinds my mind sometimes! and some other times, i am in some extremly good mood, and i can't think at all. i think happiness blinds my mind sometimes! and now, i want to let you know about something my friend teacher told us. we have different themes to study at highschool, we spent three months studying plays and theatre in general, three months about poetry etc, and one of the themes (they are actually called "genre"in french, but i don't know if it makes sense in english) was "biographies". it included diaries. and my french teacher made us wondered why people write diaries. my teacher, who knows quite a lot about psychology, explained that people who write their biography or a diary are people who "miss" something in their life, people who aren't totally satisfied of their life, people who are NOT happy in a way...because if they were, according to my teacher, they would not need to write about themselves. So, we aren't happy...interesting. i don't know what to think of his theory. ok, i agreed when he said "writing about your pain makes you feel a bit relieved, writing about your pain, it is putting the pain 'out of you'". i kind of agree with that part. because i think there are more "sad people" than "happy people" at diaryland. when you look at the diaryrings that exist and people who join them, you'll see there a lot of "bulimia" diaryring, "anorexia" diaryring, and so on. people who suffer. i cannot believe the amount of pain at diaryland. half the time when i click on banners, i come across sad things. actually, i think there are lots of different people, who write for different reasons, i tried to find them, but i just think it depends on the people. and you seemed to think (maybe i was wrong) that it was wrong that you wrote a lot about yourself lately. i don't think so. introspection isn't a bad thing. Ann Frank did write a diary...i know, it can't be compared to any of us who write at diaryland...but sill. also, "talking" with people on the net isn't that bad. i mean, sometimes you have interests and want to discuss them with people who share the same interests (but not always the same opinions). internet can give you that. i think that sometimes, some people are really not lucky (if i believe what i hear on different forums) and live in places where the biggest interest to people who are the same age as them is Justin Timberlake, or what Britney did wear at the last MTV ceremony awards...then i can't blame those people for spending time on the net and "communicate" with people who actually have a brain. maybe it isn't 'real' communication, i don't know. i consider myself lucky, with the friends i have, they're all interested in various things, good movies, going to the theatre, discussing books or classic authors. if i didn't have them, who would i talk to? i guess i would imitate those people who have tons of e-mail adresses in the contacts thing...so, what i wanted to say is don't blame all the people for who communication on the net IS communication...besides, i met a fantastic girl, on the net (Luna, i often mention her in my diary either by her name or by 'Fran�ois Truffaut [yes the filmaker] grand-daughter). we first started to exchange mails, and then met in the reality. i am glad i have internet, because i met her thanks to that thing! and please, just a last thing, tell me who are the Gay French Philosophers! that intrigued me A LOT!! ok, i think i made this waayyy too long and i may not have answered your question and lost myself somewhere in my writing (one of my talents) but i hope you forgive me if i didn't bring you the answers you wanted at all. wish you the best, Valli. ps : your diary makes me think a lot as well, that's why i quite enjoy reading it.
from valli2 :
hi, congrats for the wedding. wish you the best. have a nice day. Valli
from vanoonoo :
hi :)
from valli2 :
hello. i love your diary. i found it by clicking on a banner because what was written on it was just really beautiful. i love how you write...i wish i could write like that. being french, i sometimes have the feeling i can't express myself how i would like to do. french teacher says "i am talented to write" but i guess it's only in french. i wish i could write just like you do in english. keep up the good work, i like reading your diary (how many times have i said this?). and besides, the pictures you posted are lovely. have a nice day. Val.
from franka :
Wow. The economy is grim, but maybe its good for us. I'm trying to see it as endurance training to be more ambitious, clever, and competitive. Its making me give my all instead of just "trying." Nothing keeps me focused and motivated like knowing rent is due! As long as we don't lose optimism, I think we'll be just fine.
from franka :
Hey, I assumed you wouldn't be updating awhile. I think I write you too many notes to the point of being pesty. Going to leave you alone now. :) Glad you and east coast are are ok.
from franka :
That baby has the cutest little face I have ever seen! I'm trying to postpone having babies here, and you go around showing cute pictures of them...
from franka :
The suspense is killing me! I enjoy reading because while you write about far off places and classical mythology we learn who YOU are as well. In one of your old entries you mentioned something about it being difficult for you to write about yourself, to put your feelings into words, (or something like that.) But your writing is so personal--that's what I like about it. Hope you're doing well. ps. check boardingpass link
from banefulvenus :
wow! Nice site!
from strummer- :
I don�t know how I came across your diary, but what you've written, it's the exact same things I�ve been writing/talking/thinking about lately. Wow.
from near-sighted :
you know, i really enjoyed your last entry about women and success. i think the fact that you are cognizant of this fact, this insecurity, this need to be better even though you have certainly done well for yourself, shows an intelligence beyond compare. i hope you can keep doing what you love and you can actually take your success at face value and appreciate yourself for the woman you are. the person you are. thanks.
from franka :
Hahaha...You give a VERY vivid picture of your surroundings. I've never seen the east coast unless JFK airport counts but I'm starting to really want to. I read an interesting article about Newark recently... Scary about the virus...I'm all paranoid now. My husband :) could probably send you some free anti-virus stuff if you need it. Its littering up our shelves. In fact I could ship you box loads and clean up around here...
from skibigsky :
Oooh! You've got pictures of one of my favorite cities ever - Athens! I spent a lot of time there as a kid, and I still love it, despite the heat, tourists, and smog. The pictures are wonderful - they bring back some good memories of the walk up to the acropolis. Very cool!
from franka :
I like you. Much enjoying the photo journalism. That photography belongs in National Geographic! Hope you don't mind me basking in your sunlight. Add Athens to my "to do" list...
from franka :
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you. It sounds like your special day went beautifully. Eat lots of delicious greek food on your honeymoon, mmmmm... We're (finally) making last minute travel plans right now. Who knows, maybe we'll cross paths in an airport? I'll be the one with the big smile on her face. Have lots of fun, enjoy every minute! Love, Franka
from pura-vida :
I came for the banner and stayed for the reading. Congrats on your wedding, and good luck writing the vows- there's little way you can go wrong!
from pura-vida :
I came for the banner and stayed for the reading. Congrats on your wedding, and good luck writing the vows- there's little way you can go wrong!
from chaosbean :
Saw your banner, clicked and read...love your perspectives re:wedding and marriage. Thanks.
from franka :
I owe you. I read the email before an in-law family gathering and it kept me sane--better than sane. I felt strong and put up with nothing! There's still quite a bit of drama, but we're working on it. You have good karma by me. You don't even know how much a few words can help... --Thanks.
from franka :
Ok, I emailed you.
from franka :
I'm so glad you're a teacher. Keep inspiring those "heathen and outlandish ideas". :) The world is a better place because of your efforts.
from fword :
i clicked your banner and loved your current entry (and the fact that you teach women's studies classes). i started this site, fword, a little while ago and would like you to check it out and maybe, hopefully, think about submitting something. either a piece of yours or a favorite by someone else. -jessica
from franka :
(screams) You are wonderful!!! (tear)(clears throat, regains composure) Ditto to everything you said. Have tons of fun on your trip! :)
from franka :
You are cracking me UP. My vote: DEFINITELY the picture taken in Ghana, covered in dirt. I'm not kidding. Its perfect. It speaks for itself. Go against the grain. :) Love it.
from flyinby :
you are so wonderful to read. your enthusiasm for life is refreshing, and i am jealous of your travels. and you are very photogenic, too! ;) god bless!
from franka :
Thanks for the encouraging note! After reading your entries I am convinced we are living parallel lives. I'm lactose intolerant too. :) Eloping June 4. Wondering how fiance's mom will react... <--So many things to look forward to. Oh & lOve your diary!!
from keryanna :
I would have teared up too.
from angryquail :
Absolutely wonderful. I'm entranced.
from katehackett :
Funny stuff. :o) Keep up the good work!

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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