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OK this is the last time, I promise! When I asked you for my diaryland login password to read your diary, it was on Facebook.... then it got deleted automatically (messages go away after a while?) and I need it again. I have been spendin a lot of time in bed cuz I'm getting sicker and sicker and think "damn I wish I could read Carrie's diary!" but I can't remember my login! Aaaaaaugh! I have an iphone now so I can update and read on the go. I'm gonna be on here more often now. But I can't find my info!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~back to Facebook to try to find the message again - it has to be there somewhere!~

from blondeness :

Thanks for your kind note.:) It meant a lot. I tried to get into facebook to read what you wrote there, but now it's not accepting my password! The only reason I signed up was to get in touch with an old friend who sent me a request. I doubt if I'll keep it active, unless I decide to use it to post my pictures.

from blondeness :

Hello? Where are you? Busy with wedding plans? Hmmmm???

from blondeness :

I just read your last two entries. Your guestbook wouldn't allow me to sign it, but I wanted to say that I am soooooooooooo sorry to hear of your loss of baby to be and please know that I am hear for you whenever you need me to be, if you do.....((HuGs)))

from blondeness :

Just catching up and I read your LI I find myself "writing" my conversations in my head immediately after they happen, and trying to remember the highlights to write down later. I get frustrated when i can't remember it the way i wanted it to sound." LOL!!! ME TOO!!! And since I have less time to right now it's so frustrating, I sit down and it's like, "What the heck was I thinking about mentioning now? Man....."

from blondeness :

ok, ok, if I MUST, I'll keep reading....lol. Thanks for the note and sorry I didn't call you, but thanks for the offer anyways...:)

from blondeness :

by the way, thank you so much for the offer, but I probably won't get a chance to call you tonight. After the kids are in bed, Dawn is supposed to call and she talks FOREVER!!! :rolleyes: But thanks!;)

from blondeness :

Thanks so much for the bday wishes! Now, when is yours again?

from blondeness :

I just might take you up on your offer. But you would have to wait until around 9:30pm or so my time, after the kids are in bed. If I don't call you, it's because I'm on the phone with my sister or with Tracy or decided to come online instead. I don't get that opportunity very often and I may be feeling the need to write...not sure. Happy 30 in advance!

from blondeness :

Thanks for your note. I think Jason thinks that this would be easier for me than it would be for him...yeah...men...babies...but it does seem like it. We're gonna wait a month and then decide though, still contemplating.

from blondeness :

Thanks for your note.:) And btw, I'm still working on catching up at your diary. And yes, I've gotten to the graphic bits, tee hee, don't worry, it's fun to read! LOL!

from blondeness :

Graphic bits? Cool! LOL! I haven't gotten that far yet....Shhhh! Don't spoil it for me! LOL! Ok, I'm going there now...

from blondeness :

Oops! LOL! I did slip it up once didn't I? I even mentioned the company name too....good thing I'm password locked, but sometimes I don't like to take chances. Hey, trust me, she's nothing like you!

from blondeness :

I'm trying to read it! I'm trying to catch up, but when I have time, it's fun. It's like reading a book! And can you email momofbrock with my username and password? I can't find her email address right now and I have to get back to work, but can you for me? Thanks a ton!!:)

from momofbrock :

Ugh. I don't have blondeness's user or password either. I'm soooo behind with everyone it's sad. But I have cable internet now so hopefully I can spend mucho more time on here reading. I'm nosey and like to know what you two are up to!

from blondeness :

ok, I had a super "blonde" moment! I signed your gbook and talked about "Carl" and I had meant "Clark"! Sorry!! Oops! I didn't feel like going back to your most recent entry to revise it, because I'm trying to catch up in order, so I am signing it here. Forgive my blondeness?? Thanks!

from blondeness :

"wrong way" in my post should read "wrong one"!

from blondeness :

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa. ((HUGS))! Second, thanks for your note of congrats.:) Third, congrats on your good date. And I had to tell you that Jason and I had a weird name connection thing too. I was freaking when I first met him over it and wasn't sure I liked it. First, I had a massive crush on a guy named Jason in gradeschool and most of high school. Dawn and I joked that I knew I was destined to be with a Jason, I just had the wrong way. Then his middle name, Michael, is my first husbands name...ugh...then when he told me Katie's full name, Katrina...ugh...that is the name of the girl that Daniel fell in "friendship" with right around the time he dumped me!

from chaosdaily :

Well, yeah, things are going smoothly, considering....

from blondeness :

LOL! Sorry, I don't even remember what I was wearing in the dream! :D But I'm sure we both looked hot, lol!

from blondeness :

I tried to leave you a comment, but it thinks I'm a spammer, so I'm going to do it here: Thanks for the update. Sorry things didn't work out with him. Also I forgot to say that I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. My thoughts are with you and your grandma. ((HUGS))

from blondeness :

I need layout advice, since I designed, but did not DO my own layout. How do I change the picture and the background color and text color? Can you explain it simply? Thanks in advance Carrie!;)

from momofbrock :

Your comments aren't working. Boo hissssss!!! Yes, I have heard of the raw Vegan diet! I've done cleanses where I eat that way for a couple weeks at a time and am SO amazed how much energy I have! It's hard shopping vegan when you're the only one in the house eating that way (Brock would never give up his meat!)... anyways.... Chris is lieing about having a girlfriend again!?!? I've only caught up on 2 entries so far, have a long ways to go. He is such a turd. Well, my boyfriend is coming over soon so I have to finish cookin his birthday meal. ; ) More on that in my next entry that I WILL do one of these days!!!!

from momofbrock :

[email protected]

from momofbrock :

I am the biggest crackass alive. I can't remember my login/password. And I'm jonesin to catch up with you!!!!!!!!!!!

from blondeness :

Sorry it took so long to respond to your note, but yeah, isn't it funny how once you're finally past the guy, you look back and realize how pathetic you were and you laugh at yourself? I hope one day Dawn can too.

from blondeness :

Ok, cool. I'll be waiting then.;)

from blondeness :

Argh! You are such a tease when you've updated twice and still I don't have my new password!>:I When, when? Hmmmmm?:)

from chaosdaily :

new password? me @diaryland.com.... thanks

from blondeness :

Hello? You still alive? Everything alright? I tried to get in with my user name and password and couldn't for some reason....???

from clockworkcat :

heheh! i wouldnt say it was all fun but for the moment at least its very nice...and im pleased with myself for keeping some control over things. hooray for me! <3 xXx

from blondeness :

Well, she, if it is a she will be a Cassandra Dawn, not Lynn.:) And we probably won't call her Cassie, but Cassandra. That's the plan anyways.:) It would be funny if we each had a Katie (Catie) and a Cassandra one day!

from blondeness :

Thanks for your note. And I didn't dissapoint you, tee hee. I did another entry today...

from blondeness :

Thanks for the note. I'm glad you like the pictures!:) Yeah, I framed the new years one of the kids! I love it too!

from blondeness :

Hello?? You still around?? Everything ok?

from blondeness :

Merry Christmas!!!

from blondeness :

I tried to respond to your guestbook signing on my page, but it wouldn't go through, so I'll just re type it here. How cute that Catie is singing Christmas carols! Brian tries to sing along with them on the radio. His favorite is Holly Jolly Christmas. I still don't know what he's singing for his program, except for maybe Jingle Bells, but that will make it a pleasant surprise for me.

from clockworkcat :

lolas rope. sorry for the change again.

from clockworkcat :

i apologise for another emo turn to things. but ive just lost the love of my life. so its all a bit depressing right now.

from clockworkcat :

sorry sweetheart! user: ghost pass: highway. happy halloween!

from blondeness :

A "Knockout??" Tee Hee, why thank you! :D

from blondeness :

I just tried to post this in your comments section and it wouldn't let me because I don't have a Gold membership, what? Anyway, hope you get this!</P>Yay! An entry!!!:D That gym thing, that's perfect for a bunch of wild two year olds, to get their energy out and just be wild. Just watch them carefully. The one by me is the one where Katie split her head open that one time, not to scare you or anything. Hope it's a blast!

from momofbrock :

Hey, I never said the giving up sex thing was going good! Just that I was gonna try! Not going too good. Yeah, still no word on my little brother. So weird and scary. We got pics taken of the kiddos.... I'll post those soon.

from momofbrock :

It's called "Living Church of God". You can have all the "Joe"s. I wish all these men folk would leave me the hell alone so I can be good! : )

from clockworkcat :

darling! classy new hair :) http://photobucket.com/albums/v667/a_caucas_race/?action=view¤t=newhair.jpg not a very good pic but you get the idea. got a side fringe going on and everything! love you xXx

from iluvleena :

ok I bet you $5 that it will be a white guy.

from momofbrock :

The SHIRTS, goofball!

from iluvleena :

I am always here for you regarding my own personal feeling s about the situation. I will only voice my opinion if you ask for it from now on. I'm sorry I kirked but things are really not going well right now.

from momofbrock :

I know it's because we never see each other... when we first got together I was only working 8 hour days and I'd usually have extra hours put in Sunday so I could leave early one night a week and go see a movie with him or hang out at his house. Now we only see each other Friday or Saturday night and it's Brock, Brody, and me. We're never alone - I can see why he'd be a little annoyed with the whole arrangement but not having the urge to ever TALK to me! Yeah, he's toast. The feeling seems to be pretty mutual lately; I actually get annoyed by the fact he's coming over. That means less time with Brock when I haven't seen him all week. Things will slow down this week so I'll be able to leave early one night and maybe I'll go see Brody and see how things go. If he TALKS to me there might still be a chance but if he doesn't seem to have anything to say... yep.... TOAST. From the time Brock was born until I moved out the only time Tom had anything to say to me was when he was drunk and screaming or fiending for a beer and crabby and needed some one to peck at. Not going down that road again.

from clockworkcat :

love you carrie. been a bit distant and ill lately. mwah!

from momofbrock :

Oh... and... I came up with the idea... I'll put in as much overtime as possible and stash it away somewhere. I'm sure I'll be in need of it through the year!!!

from momofbrock :

If I told them I'd only work 8 hour days and I was done I'd probably be w/out a job. Xmas time over time is mandatory. And it's not like things pick up a little bit... normally there are around 5-7,000 invoices a night. Xmas time we can get to around 30,000 invoices a night. Add renewals twice a month and rep progression Tuesdays to that and I'm going to be real tired of that place real fast. When I worked there before, a lot of the times I was working on overtime on Tuesday. But now I have a kid. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.

from mnvnjnsn :

Hey, thanks for the link. I can tell your diary must be interesting just from the notes others have left.

from momofbrock :

P.S. You will be absolutely amazed one day at all the info Catie has soaked up. I remember when Brock had just turned 2 I had gone over his colors with him a zillion times and he'd always run off and play or act like he wasn't paying attention. One day I was at my wit's end thinking he was never gonna get it and as I was closing the book he put his hand in the way then pointed "Blue. Yellow. Red. Black. Brown." and he had them all right! Numbers were the same way except I noticed he was paying a LOT of attention; he just wasn't repeating them. Then one day he just counted up to 10. I about fell off my chair! She's retaining EVERYTHING. It's only a matter of when she decides she wants to SAY it!

from momofbrock :

Catie isn't slow! It's a proven fact boys are more into numbers than girls are. And Brock is STRANGELY fascinated by them. I bought him some tub toys of numbers and letters. He threw all the letters in the bottom of his toybox and just played with the numbers. He just turned 3 and he can already count to 20 forwards and backwards and can spell a few words. Now to expand his vocabulary to MORE than numbers!!!!! I dropped him off at preschool today and a little boy saw him coming and said to his dad "That's Brock. He talks like a baby." : (

from momofbrock :

1. There was no jury at the trial! Tom is just a drunken stupid ass. Where his brain floated off to when he started drinking is beyond me because he used to be very levelheaded. 2. According to Tom, I've been running around "with my pants off" since November when I moved out. Actually earlier than that since I overheard him telling a friend I was fucking some one else. I called him on it and he got real freakin mad and said "I never said that!" when I heard him with my own ears. What a jackass. 3. "Paying for stuff is not taking care of your child." I liked that one, too. I played the tape for Dietrich and men like Tom & Chris make him so mad I could tell he wanted to ring Tom's neck. Now we have a joke about how we're secretly screwing. It's funny. 3. yeah.... he loves Brock more than I do. Right! He also says he loves me! We're posessions to him, not family members. He doesn't know what love is! 4. That numbers bit I threw in there just because it was my own little inside joke. Brock has known his numbers 1-10 since he was only 1. Tom didn't notice until Brock was 2 1/2 that he knew them. So to him, the daycare lady did teach Brock his numbers. Dumbass. If he'd only pay attention. 5. I've had practice talking assholes around in circles basically my whole life. My parents were that way. Always accusing. Always spewing out lies that made no sense. Always trying to get me to admit to something I didn't do. Compared to them, Tom is a piece of cake!

from iamlearning :

thank you for the compliment. all of my tattoos... with the possible exception of one or two... are meaningful. i need to be balanced and symetrical too so that's all incorporated as well... must be my undiagnosed OCD. lol!

from iluvleena :

hey carrie...I love you too.

from momofbrock :

Where are you?

from chaosdaily :

i see you locked your diary. could you please email me your password? chaosdailyATdiaryland.com.

from momofbrock :

I was pondering, yesterday, if it's the fact they're screwing me over that I don't like or if it's my actual JOB that I don't like. Well, as soon as she told me she was giving me a raise I was suddenly fine with doing my job. The thought of staying overnight to work on those effin renewals doesn't seem so bad if it's for $20/hour!!! Boy, before I had Brock, that company was my life. Usually by Wednesday I was on overtime so the rest of the week I was making $20/hour. And I had no rent. No bills besides my cell phone. Boy my checks were sweet. Oh well, back to college I go next quarter to get a real job anyways!

from momofbrock :

That's a good theory, but none of the guys who asked me out know about Brody! They think I'm still the same ole single gal I always was! Maybe it's the fact I don't flirt shamelessly with them anymore. For a while there when Brody and I first started going out I barely acknowledged Valentino was alive. I think men really DO like women who are hard to get. Or come across as confident and not needy. That's my weak theory. When I was dating Tom, the guys who hit on me knew I was dating Tom. So I think your theory was right there. But not now! They have no clue Brody is in the picture. I'm still keeping him somewhat on the downlow until this whole divorce thing is over with..... that is.... if it ever starts!!!

from momofbrock :

P.S. Don't think the judge bought his B.S., do you? He has to pay 20% on top of his regular $620 per month until he's caught up. That's $750/month. That's EXACTLY $9000 a year, which is what he claims he made last year. I have a sneaking suspicion she found some of his hidden money! I now love judges!

from momofbrock :

Well, I pay a LOT for the little guy. People in other states seem to think his ruling is outrageous. People that live here and know how much I take it up the ass monthly for his expenses all say "that's reasonable". I don't go out to movies. Can't afford it. I haen't bought new clothes since that time i posted pictures. Can't afford it. I dont' get my hair cut or done. Can't afford it. You get the idea! His medical insurance ALONE is $300/month. Daycare is $500 on a good month. And that's not bringing in diapers, food, toys, clothes, JUICE (the kid drinks his body weight in milk and juice every day. the thirstiest person I've ever met!) Since I moved out I've been trying to find a way to get a second job. But that would mean 1. Double daycare 2. I'd lose my income assistance so my rent would double 3. Brock would be neglected by his dad AND mom. It's Tom's turn to scrounge and worry about money!!! Although if HE wants to work extra he CAN! Less time in the bar, maybe and more time at work!!! Sorry Tom!

from momofbrock :

I used to be a doormat. My boyfriend could cheat on me and then buy me some McDonalds frenchfries and I'd forgive him. "Ooooh he paid attention to me! He bought me something! See, he DOES love me!" ~GAG~ There are two things I always try to remember that I've read. 1. Is from Dr. Phil "You teach people how to treat you" If you let people get away with treating you like dogshit they will continue to treat you like dog shit and it will just get worse and worse. And... this one was the best one and really hit me hard when I thought about it: 2. Would you let a complete stranger treat you like that? NO. You'd tell them to eff off and let them know what you think of them and you'd NEVER see them again. You'd make a point of it, right? So why, do we let out boyfriend, who should treat us BETTER than anyone else treat us like a heaping steaming pile of shit? That's backwards, don't you think? So that is how I became the bitch that I am today.

from momofbrock :

Hmmph! That looks a lot like my list, except mine goes 1)Tom 2)Chris 3)Dave 4)Chris (from warehouse) 5)Paul 6)Austin 7)Mike 8)Nick 9)Jo 10)Misty 11)Michaela 12)Eric 13)Jim 14) Dallas 15)Larry 16)....... okay, I may be a little more bitter than you.

from momofbrock :

See, everyone I talk to say they got their judgement at that time. I'm wondering if the judge isn't gonna do some digging around in Tom's checking account or business records??? Otherwise I don't see any reason it should take her 30 days to make a ruling. I'm hoping that's the case!

from momofbrock :

Waaaaaaaah, my puter saves my password for your diary so I never have to type it in. So I forgot what it is. And now it doesn't have it saved and I can't remember what it is: [email protected]

from momofbrock :

The child support "lawyer" if she's even a lawyer will meet with me 2 minutes before court on Friday.... but the guy handling my divorce is an actual lawyer. Supposedly we're going to sit down and he'll tell me his "strategy" and what he's going for/what we can do. I'm just wondering why that hasn't happened yet. Wonder if he's waiting for something from Tom. I have to be patient... it's just not one of my strong traits.

from momofbrock :

I'm getting a lil annoyed with this whole assigned county lawyer things. I have NEVER talked to him. I had a brief over the phone interview with his assistant who said after Tom got served they would next set up an appointment to talk to me. Maybe they're waiting to see if he gets a lawyer? Maybe they requested some information from him and are waiting to get it back? I don't know. It's getting frustrating. This Friday is our child support hearing... am a little nervous, I'm not sure why.... besides the fact I have nowhere to put Brock so he might be tagging along. Do they normally set visitation at child support hearings? I ordered the recording device over the internet so I still haven't got it. ~pouts~ I want to play with my new toy!

from clockworkcat :

oh yeah, with my password? thanks, i changed pcs and all my passwords were lost. dont worry, i will leave you on there. as long as you dont mind my entries getting all angsty :)

from blondeness :

08-10-05--12:30pm-Just letting you know I am thinking of you today. Not sure what time court was or if you are there right now or what. Hope all is good.;)

from clockworkcat :

oooh unless you mean the picture called kitty...in which case, that is the one i made him in return and you may do with it what you want, or maybe i will draw a special carrie one for you ehehe. oh and a password, i need a password :(

from clockworkcat :

*blush* mehehe. i am not! im just a silly blonde thing. the painting i was meant to be showing is called girl, i think. she doesnt have a name yet. the other one is old and i was still drawing big anime eyes :) eheheh you like the kitty? a friend made me it! i must put up the other he made me, it is also great. and you can get it tatooed if you want, as long as you tell everyone its name is jess!

from whitehelmet :

Aw, how frustrating, a locked diary! I'm on your buddy list, and I can't even see who you are! Care to share your password? Shawna Mooney

from clockworkcat :

*makes you some muffins*

from momofbrock :

If I give the $ to my parents I will have to play 20 questions with them every time I want to spend a dollar of it. If they don't agree with what I want it for I could TOTALLY see them not giving it to me. They treat me like I'm a child. Otherwise I would!

from momofbrock :

Oh don't be fooled! He wanted me to drop everything legally so he could NOT pay me anything! It's another one of his sneaky antics to keep things as they are!

from chaosdaily :

the ham sandwich worked because it wasnt junk food; thats all she had been eating for a couple of days. once she gets a somewhat nutritious meal in her, the headache goes away. interesting, huh? works every time

from chaosdaily :

when we are using quickbooks, we arent running aol, just quickbooks. it all worked fine, dont know what slowed it up suddenly.

from clockworkcat :

thanks sweetie yeah i thought my diary was looking a bit dull! glad you like it :)

from clockworkcat :

wow i finally did one that was in the paper! no my dad couldnt do the mensa one either. gah. carrie, i have a new pc so i cant get on your diary anymore, can you re send me my password? thanks! mwah. xxxx

from momofbrock :

Yeah, I got a the Monday before last where she said they'd take my case!!! Woooo hooo! I found out she is the lady who handles the recruiting of cases, she's not the lawyer who will be handling my case, that is a man. Oh well. I'll settle for a man lawyer, I guess!

from momofbrock :

They do that in MN, too... where they charge a guy how much he SHOULD be making if he makes too little. But I think they really shoot on the low side. People like Chris COULD make good money if they put the effort and maturity into it. That irks me. As far as the Brock sleeping thing.... I think I might try it. I don't think he'd fall for it, though. He's a pretty smart kid. Last night I was sitting on our pull out bed and he would NOT go to sleep until I lay down. So I might have to lay with him. But I'll try it.

from momofbrock :

Oh trust me, that guard will NOT be bringing that subject up again! We were actually yelling at each other. He was talking about states like Mississippi (and supposedly soon MN might switch to this plan) they look at both incomes. If you make 60,000 a year and Chris makes 40,000 a year, you pay 60% of the child's care. He said that sounded fair and I just went off. I said "so because the woman is educated and tries harder she gets f*cked while the guy doesn't even have to pay for 1/2 of his kids!?!" I also went into the fact that the parent who has the kids has to clean up their puke, cook them meals, carpool them around, discipline them, their lives are "inconvenienced" (that's a harsh word but I can't think of a different one) by the kids daily. And the guy only has to pay 25% of the kids' expenses if he's a turd? He said yes. And if the woman wants to bitch about it she can give the kids to the man. Grrrrr we yelled for like 45 minutes. I reminded him how many P.O.S. men out there would then turn around and get a job at Blockbuster video making $6/hour so they wouldn't have to pay jack. I hate some men. Really, I do!

from momofbrock :

I'm glad you liked my symbol for Tom. Do you know what HTML I'd use to change the font to arial so the arse looks better?

from momofbrock :

~shakes head~ I'm not buying his BS. He's played this card already. Twice. Once he could tell I was VERY close to moving out so he got really nice. I let my guard down and he was asshole x 10. Picking fights, screaming, cheating, lieing...... I moved out. He played this card again. "I'll stop drinking." "I'll spend more time with you and Brock" "I won't yell anymore" "I'll stop lieing so much" Moved back in with him and he turned into asshole x 100. If I wouldn't have moved out when I did I'd probably be missing all my teeth by now and have a broken nose. He is a pig. An angry, lieing, judgemental PIG. I held out miserable every day until I couldn't take it anymore. The day I moved out was the happiest day since Brock was born.............. there's just no way. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. But only when they deserve it. Not to mention poor little Brock. He had that kid's personality on a downward spiral. He stopped talking, would hit and kick Tom if he went within 5 feet of me.... when I moved out he started talking and smiling again and was the carefree little boy he deserves to be. I'd give him his 310th chance, but I'm not that dumb. : )

from blondeness :

Thanks for Katie's bday wishes! Her bday is actually not until NEXT weekend, but we are having the party a week early, as her Mom will have her on her birthday weekend.

from momofbrock :

I think I'm pretty safe with Brody. Even my family doesn't know I'm seeing him. My friends despise Tom and wouldn't tell him about Brody. Brody's friends don't know Tom. Since we see each other once or twice a week I don't think he'll be an issue or will even need to be brought up. I hope not anyways. We pretty much hang out at my apartment so we're not a public spectacle.... I think we'll keep it that way!

from momofbrock :

I was picturing everyone gagging on their sandwich as they read that entry. Ha ha ha But it needed to be said. Brody is a very nice piece of ass but he's also a human being. There, I'm not being such a man now.

from blondeness :

Well, for some reason my very older entries are all jumbled up, as far as the dates are concerned, but you are welcome to read.:) You didn't do *too* bad on my survey, but come to think of it, I'm not sure I have recently mentioned my age or Brian's age.

from momofbrock :

It was funny; the first night he came over we were watching a movie, sitting on the couch holding hands. Brock came in and did his usual "yay we have company!!!!" hyper active running around being loud. Then as he was running he noticed we were holding hands and stopped in his tracks. Then he sat down and just stared at us. Then he ran in his room to watch a video. He apparently didn't care which was weird because if DH ever tried touching me Brock was hitting and kicking him. Well, he had to work so got up at 5 a.m. and snuck out so Brock didn't see him when he woke up. The next weekend Brock woke up and ran out in the living room and Brody was out there sleeping. Brock sat on the couch and stared at him until he woke up and didn't seem to know how to act. Then we sat on the couch and held hands and Brock grabbed my hand and put it on my leg. Grabbed Brody's hand and put it on his leg and then walked away. Hmmmm... okay. The next morning he woke up and RAN out to the living room and looked around. I think he was making sure there was no one sleeping out there. So for the most part Brock seems to think he's harmless, he doesn't throw a fit or anything like he did with DH.... he's confused I guess.

from momofbrock :

It's not so much that he didn't like Brock before.... it was like he didn't know what to do with him. He'd just kind of ask "when is he going to bed?" I guess I'd feel weird around his daughter if I ever met her so it's no biggy. he said the other day if I need a sitter some night he would take Brock to do something fun. Hmmmm No, I'd rather he do something fun with ME. ; )

from shockedsoul :

thank you very much. i appreciate your notes and care <3

from momofbrock :

Brody seems to be turning into a boyfriend whether I like it or not. You know how the way a guy looks at you and the way he talks to you changes when he's falling? Yeah, that's Brody lately. I figured he'd be my weekend fun or something and he'd be more than thrilled with things that way (what guy wouldn't want to be used for sex?) Nope, he calls me every day which I surprisingly don't mind. He says he wants to try to see me more than once a week. Since I have PTO to use he says I should take off and come to his house... leave Brock with the sitter. Or bring him with. (all of a sudden he likes Brock, too) He keeps saying how cute he is. I still think I need a boyfriend like I need a nail in my foot but this guy..... every time he touches me it's like I'm 14 and have never been touched before. It's electric. Hard to explain.......

from momofbrock :

We watched a couple of old movies: The Virgin Suicides and The Curve all the while trying to be as quiet and boring as possible so Brock would go to bed. But every 1/2 hour he'd come running out. Finally at midnight I told him to get his little hyney in bed and I MEAN IT! And he stayed in bed. Fell asleep. So we got busy on the living room floor. I swear this guy has taken "how to please a woman" classes cuz DAMN! He amazes me each time. And the way he kisses.... oh I could go on and on. He seems to really enjoy driving me crazy. : )

from momofbrock :

Wellllll I'm a size 6 but the jeans and a skirt I got were size 4s and fit me. I was a 0-2 before I had Brock. I'm out of shape and pudgy but a 6. I'm working on it! I've been daydreaming about my wild monkey sex since Saturday. I still haven't called him. I'm chicken shit. I think I'll just keep my happy memory untainted and leave it be. If he calls me it't meant to be. If not, oh well! I really don't want a boyfriend.... but having some one to see a movie with every now and then would be nice!

from momofbrock :

Well, since he has a police record for taking them I think my letter is just added security. I'm kind of added proof. In order to get in the building you have to have a clean criminal record. Well, he no longer has one AND commited the crime AT the apartment buildings. So he's gone anyways, my little statement, I think, is just an added security measure.

from chaosdaily :

you never know what might be interesting to who... do you give out your password? if so, please email me at chaosdailyATdiaryland.com thanks! and thanks for adding me!!

from blondeness :

Thanks so much for the compliments!!:) Jason's photos rarely look like how he looks in person. The poor guy does just not photograph well, lol! But, yeah, he's my skinny bones, but I do love his smile in that photo of him that you speak of.:) Ok, I'll make a deal with you---you post more photos of your cute Catie Ann, and I'll post more (whenever I *take* more, that is). Deal??:) Glad you enjoyed them. And you pictured my house like that too? Weird...:)

from momofbrock :

You were probably like my friend Rachel. She didn't gain an ounce beyond the baby's weight. She felt good her whole pregnancy. We went to SD when she was 8 months pregnant and she was trecking throught he mountain on the trail that made ME want a nap and her only problem was having to pee really badly. She went into labor and appx 10 not so painful hours later she pushed for 10 minutes and out flew Lizzy. I like hearing about birth stories like that. Mine made me not want another kid EVER. Now that it's been a while and I'm retarded I wish I had a kid close to Brock's age for him to play with.

from clockworkcat :

really? what happens? i think theres a film, maybe ill try watching that first. its nice to hear from you, chat has been broken forever so now i have too much spare time. its cute you have a page for catie, i will be sure to take a look. mwah.

from blondeness :

Thanks for the "belated" note Carrie.;) It was nice to hear from a couple people today at least.:)

from blondeness :

Here too! I'm so glad I'm not the only one, ha,ha!:D

from blondeness :

I meant "I shouldn't be *here*", not "there", as in I shouldn't be on the net, I'm supposed to be working...:0 Ok...off I go!

from blondeness :

Hi there. Are you still bored? I don't know if you left me that message yesterday or today, and I have yet to read your most recent update. I actually have a lot of work to start me out today at work, and so I shouldn't be there, but I am just here to say hello. I know how it feels when you leave people notes and you are bored as hell, and you keep checking to see if they have sent you any kind of note, and when they don't you are bored as hell and you are trying to be mature and not take it personally or anything, lol.;)

from momofbrock :

1. Chris is a turd. No, he's 2 turds stuck together. 2. House sounds nice but consider that your little girlie girl could drown. Houses by water scare the **** out of me. I hear of too many kids drowning! 3. I don't envy your situation; I was a stay at home mom til Brock was just over 2. If I had to work before that I don't know how I would have survived. I was so sleep deprived at times I could barely function. Any time Brock was teething or ANYTHING sleep wasn't an option for me. Hope she sleeps better tonight!

from andreeb :

OH MY GOD!!! Thank you so much!!!!!

from momofbrock :

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA He spelled her name wrong!?!?!?! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Sorry, I'm done laughing now. That sounds like something DH would do (and the D definately does NOT stand for dear)!!! The part about the guys with small dingalings made me giggle too. Boy aren't you in a goofy mood!!!

from clockworkcat :

hey hey! i just read your latest entry, LOL yes that is terribly funny, what an ass. how was your london adventure? where did you go? wow hope you had a good time. i panicked friday when diaryland died, i was so relieved yesterday to have my buddy list and diary back! i have alot to do at the moment, i have a ten hour art exam tomorrow and thursday, scary. see you around *hug*

from blondeness :

I'm still not caught up on your entries. I've been reading them from the start and I'm not up to the current yet, but I did read yesterday's current and I forgot I wanted to comment, but I got really busy at work (still am..but oh well). The fussing from night time car trips could be the light from the street lights zooming by and shining in Catie's eyes. We noticed it once with Brian. They flash right into his face when he was laying that way in his car seat. When he was smaller, we had a cover in the winter for his carseat with a flap that we would place looseley over his face to block the light.

from momofbrock :

JMHO is "just my honest opinion" I went to a lawyer and asked "what happens when Tom lies, what if he gets Brock?" and he said judges are so used to dealing with liars they can spot one a mile away. He could say anything he wants, if he cant' PROVE it a judge won't do squat. Judges know his kind--don't worry. I have VIDEO TAPE of Tom passed out on the floor with Brock hopping up and down on his back yelling "dada! dada!" and he doesn't so much as stir. I have another video tape AND pictures of him passed out on the floor, the house full of smoke when he tried cooking drunk and passed out and left the stove on. If a towel or anything had been by the stove he could have burned the house done (sadly, he did this appx a dozen times since we got married). I have a picture of Tom passed out in his car in our yard with his car running--he was so drunk he didn't even make it out of his CAR! I have a pic of him spread eagle butt naked passed out on our couch. Proves his disgusting and vulger and cares about no one but himself. I have character witnesses that will testify that he yells at Brock and drinks day and night.------------------------Know what? All that doesn't mean jack. I have NO evidence he has ever hurt Brock. Fine, he drives drunk... has he ever drove drunk with Brock in the vehicle? (no because I lived there and prevented it) Yes, he falls asleep with the stove on and almost burns down the house.... has Brock ever been harmed by this? (no because I won't ever let him have him overnight so it doesn't happen when I'm not there to turn the stove off when I wake up to smoke)------------------LONG story short, if I can't keep that turd of a man from getting visitation, there is NO ---I repeat--- NO way in hell Chris is taking your daughter from you. Let him dream about it and talk about it and fantasize about it all he wants. It won't happen!

from momofbrock :

P.S. About him wanting Evelyn's info.... don't give it to him! He could just waltz up one day and take her and no one could stop him. I repeat: DON'T GIVE HIM THE INFO. Tom and I are MARRIED and he has NO clue who or where Brock's daycare is. He doesn't even know what apt we live in. When he comes for Brock he calls and I bring him down. Until we're divorced and things are COURT ORDERED (like visitation) he will NOT know where/who Brock's daycare is and hopefully he will NEVER know what apt we live in. It's simply none of his business. It's none of Chris' business. The ONLY reason he wants to know is so he can go to Evelyns and take her. Why else would he care? So he can pay her babysitter? ~rolls on floor laughing~ Stay strong and dont' say a word. JMHO

from momofbrock :

It'll get worse, you just wait. First he will lie about things he did when he and you know damn well he didn't do these things (like changing diapers and making bottles) and then he will start lieing about things YOU have said and done. And you'll get majorly flabbergasted and frustrated. He'll argue with you. "YOU DID TOO ____________" It's all part of the game alcoholics play. And yes, when they lie often enough they DO start to believe themselves. Tom has convinced himself HE got rid of ME because I cheated on him. I was mean to him and yelled at him for no reason. This is what he told friends and family for years and now he finally believes it himself. Sometimes I remind him of a few things that went on and there is a long silence like he'd completely forgotten.-------------------------------- Oh well, no sense trying to figure out a drunk. Chris called and talked to lawyers? That's find. W/out $2,000 none of them will even START to help him. Does he have a spare $2,000? Can he prove you're a bad mom and your daughter would be better off with him? A drunken punk with no license who mooches off of women for money and rides? Don't even worry about him getting your daughter. Just the fact he has you worried made me chuckle. He's a lieing S.O.B. You're her mother and she's little. You've raised her her whole life. Unless you're an unfit parent (which you're not) she's staying where she is.

from momofbrock :

Yeah. My dad was giving me a lecture "you don't know how long it'll be til Tom gives you more money so you save that money and ration it out. Make it last" He has no clue. He never had to pay $460/month in DAYCARE alone for a kid. That money is gone and then some. But yes, it feels good to know my utilities won't be shut off!!!!

from momofbrock :

You're so sweet. I decided today I'm going to just send them a copy of the check. I'm cashing it and paying my phone/electric/credit card and VOILA! It's gone! But this coming Friday I'll have appx $35 left over from my check so I'll get some food. : ) I think if your kid is scared to be in their room by themselves they should be allowed to sleep with you. For a while appx a month ago I would wake up to Brock screaming. I'd look over (his toddler bed is pushed against my bed) and he'd be sitting up looking in the corner horrified. I'd tell him to hop in bed with me and he'd hop between me and the wall, pull the blanket over his head, and go to sleep. Since he can't pray, I've been praying for him and he's stopped being scared at night. If he ever sees anything else, you bet your buns he can sleep with me! I have two friends whose kids "talk to people in their rooms" and the parents think it's cute. Scares the crap out of me just hearing it.

from momofbrock :

Don't be mad. Be happy. --Here's what I think of my DH and his girlfriend. Yes, she's a hosebag for screwing around with a married man ya da ya da. BUT just remember (same goes for Becky) she'll get what she has coming. He's going to do her just like he did you. Then the smug little b*tch won't be quite so smug.

from blondeness :

Boring? No way! I just can't get over how he could do all of that to you, when here you were pregnant with his child, so desparately trying to hold onto any shred of hope, and it's like he was wanting both of you and feeling smug probably that he was getting away with it, and he wanted a free ride, in more ways than one! God, what an ASS!!!! Sorry if I am upsetting you anymore right now. I still have a lot to read!;) Remind me one day to share a story of *mine* with you. It's not near as bad as what you went through, but, I can relate on *some* levels with you. It's something from my past. Maybe I will send you an email on it soon.

from blondeness :

Ok, I've been reading your entries from the start, and I've been "seething" (is that the correct word?) about Chris and everything that he did practiacally right under your nose, and how he totally "played" you, etc. GRRRRRRRR!!! I still have a LOT of catching up to do at your diary, but I just read your "Dear Chris" entry and I was like GOOD FOR YOU!!! You TELL him girl!! You tell HER too!!!! I just had to let you know how I felt....:) Ok....continueing to read! This is addictive!

from poolagirl :

Thanks for stopping by - and thanks for making me a fave! You must be the Carrie who left me a comment earlier. You sound like a really sweet person and a wonderful mom. Take care!

from blondeness :

She is ADORABLE!!!!!!! You are so blessed, but I am sure you already know that.;) My favorite is the one at your Mom's. I am enjoying your journal by the way. I started from the very first entry! Lots of catching up to do!

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