messages to chiaroscuro3:
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from lauralgood :
Interesting that when I come across you again you are thinking of leaving...I wish you luck on your potential relationship. laural
from geroad :
Alright chiaroscuro Goddamn your good. I haven't read much of your diary, or anyone else's for that matter. I had a random run through the past couple of months.I think I've got the gist of it,you've moved house, the heats killing you, and you're practising martial arts moves in semi darkness. I take it all back about you being normal, you're a freak. I've not had the opportunity to take a detailed look at you're journal since you've e-mailed me, as I'm sufferring with a hangover. First night back at work, and five more after this. Determind to enjoy my time off, right until the very last second, so I came straight to work from the pub. Ah, it seemed such a good idea at the time..... Indifference is bad. There are things that I do, hear or see which I'm sure should solicit some sort of emotional response. I go over and over them in my head, to try and find something within it, that would provide any feeling, but nothing. These are things which have previously excited or scared me, but now I just acknowledge them. I think it's to do with not pursuing ambitions, lack of discipline, just sitting on my arse, and putting it off till whenever. Fear or hatred is a better alternative, but inevitably, I then desire to get away from such strong and frightening emotions. I think depression is the minds way of escaping from worry, going from one extreme to another, to try and achieve equilibrium, and perhaps indifference could be one of the consequences of that, as you struggle to try and maintain stability. I'm writng this at work. We have rebelled against the beaurocracy, and switched on the internet. We giggle like little children at our own mischevious behaviour. But one day, and I don't know when, I shall own a computer. One with much electrickery. Geroad
from ghostiness :
Thanks for letting me join. I worried it might say I joined twice... my comp didn't load the page right, and I had to try again. Sorry bout that!
from lauralgood :
no problem, respond when you get time. I know what it is like to move and go to a new place. not only time consuming but mentally it is tough too. But in most cases it is for the best. I hope it is for you. laural
from lauralgood :
Hello. sorry for the confusion. What i found interesting was the entry that read: "I don't know if I could get over my bias against pretty, confident and loud women to be friends with them and take their advice on anything (even if they are professionals). I don't know if I could keep myself from assuming that I am smarter and acting like I am." and in the next entry you sounded put-out(understandably so) that those two girls were commenting on you (maybe you thought your appearance, that was the impression I got anyway.) I found the near proximity of those entries interesting, and that was what i was sparked by. I, too, feel that no one is perfect and i completely agree that anyone who would mock someone for thier perceived imperfections, whether physical or mental, would be showing thier own imperfection. I am sorry if i offended you or read your something into your entry which you did not intend. I often leave notes for people without remembering i am talking to someone real. these diary's, for me, have a bit of a surreal feeling to them. and by the way it is the mermaids with the purple shells who are the sluts, not the yellow! Yellow's unite! have a great day. laural
from lauralgood :
hmmm...just a thought on your last few diary entry's. I agree with you that one should not judge someone who is not "perfect" looking, intellegent, whatever(as if there was such a thing) but i also find it equally wrong to judge someone who you think is "perfect" based on their looks or personality, by not giving them the benifit of the doubt that they may, underneath it all, be a decent person. thier are some. and about the girls at the grocery, they were probably just saying you were cute. and if they werent just assume they were. it is easier. good luck getting through your last week. i wish you luck. laural
from lauralgood :
Hey. you have new reader. i just sat and read your diary for the last 4 or so hours (I am a fast reader.) I am a bit fasinated with your diary. I will contiune to read. Great luck to you. laural

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