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Well, I'm glad you're not embarassed. I'm not saying the guy on the subway should be embarassed. He had a big trenchcoat on; if he was embarassed, he could have buttoned it up. He didn't. I'm only embarassed about looking at people's crotches because it's a symptom of the fact that I never-ever-ever get laid and that's kind of embarassing and sad. But otherwise, why not? I expect I looked at crotches even when I was getting laid regularly, although it's so long ago now that I can't remember. Mostly it's like - you know, for all the crotch-staring I do, I hardly ever catch somebody with a boner. Maybe it's like spotting a shooting star or something. They're happening all the time but rarely are you looking at the right place at the right time. I still think it's nothing like visible nipples, which are more or less a fashion statement. You have to admit that a boner is not a fashion statement, at least. I hope.

from chickpea981 :

email me [email protected] if you want a login and password

from hothead :

hahahaha...i wouldn't hold my breath on the gunfire, so far it's been avoided. welcome though, and thanks for the note!

from puppetgirl :

I've been waiting for you to write this entry and am quite upset that you haven't yet... What's Ida going to be for Halloween?

from coexistapart :

Busy lately I guess??

from coexistapart :

I made a correction in my comments: the "Gospel of Thomas" and the "Infancy Gospel of Thomas" are *not* the same thing. You and other people were just using the name interchangeably; they're totally different works, including totally different material.

from chickpea981 :

I am blind as a bat - I can't find your email address so I'm leaving my comment here: I'll show you my personal side if you show me yours... [email protected]

from coexistapart :

Sorry for leaving my lengthy reply here, but I've just emailed Andrew because for the last 14 hours or so, your comments have been blocking me as a spammer. God only knows why. See, I think that it takes a period of maturation for a lot of guys to get there though. I'm very lucky in so far as Big sometimes jokes "hey, don't get too athletic on me or you're going to stop looking like the Marilyn Monroe/1940s pin-up girls I was raised on!" but despite effusive compliments, it is hard to turn off the indoctrination that girls of my generation have been brainwashed with. And that is basically "keep working at it girl, because you are not there yet," even when bones are sticking out and the doctor double checks her weight measurements because you're at the bottom of your h/w category...but if Petra Nemcova can do it with 30 lbs less, why can't you? etc. You know the whole spiel. A whole other layer for me has always been food. I love food, and of course nobody trusts a thin chef. But, as much as I absolutely adore Ina Garten, I'm not quite ready for that yet either. Part of me also has a sick fascination with being the second wife who won, more to show up Tiffany (Big's new daughter-in-law, who just had the baby with Emmanuel) who IS of my generation, than Big's actual wife Candy. And in order to do that, part of that includes multiple degrees, financial success, and maintaining my/a half-way decent figure. It's like anything else: you and I, and for the most part the people we surround ourselves with, strive for success and perfection, in all areas. I cannot control how much I get trampled on at YUS or how long it takes Big's finances to get sorted so he can get divorced (etc.), so I'll be damned if I don't overcontrol the one thing that is in my hands. Sorry, that was more than I intended. On an unrelated note, although you are happily married, and I do not wish this unhappiness on Melinda, from a purely hypothetical standpoint it would be very interesting (from a clinical standpoint, of course) to see the chemistry that would occur if you and M had gotten together.

from chickpea981 :

yeah I actually have some pretty kick ass insurance. I wouldn't even have gone to the doc without it. I have a consult with the surgeon on the 24th to decide if I even need the surgery or not. If I do I will get over it but still... I hate hospitals with a passion.

from megsworld2 :

I like the way you think things through and the stories you tell about growing up in your diary.

from pipersplace :

I wanted to thank you for all your kind comments. They're very much appreciated.

from chickpea981 :

It's a foursome... look closer. A guy on each side and two women facing each other. I got it from www.nerve.com. I have the full series on this PC somewhere. I chose that one for its ambiguity.

from coexistapart :

Where the hell have you gone? Before you were totally my source for multiple daily updates. Do I have to go look for a new dealer...because that would really suck.

from chickpea981 :

farther north - up near DC. Former FB is MIA at the moment. It just never works out. I hadn't thought of Nerve personals... I love that site so maybe I should try there. Thanks for that pointer.

from chickpea981 :

merciless virginia sun? we are state mates (and I am officially a tool for using that term)

from coexistapart :

Yeah, moving really is one of those three things in life that a marriage has to survive: death, divorce, and moving. I thought I was going to be a calm mover, but even though I only have an apartment's worth of furniture...I *still* became this obscene creature-I-never-want-to-be-again when Big helped me move. In case you were considering it, or it's the kind of thing you like receiving, your writing style would be conducive to the gold members' comments system. (I hate cluttering up a notes page.) Congrats on the property/house, by the way. I cannot see myself every just settling in one city, but I dream of owning waterfront property...ideally my own private pond or mini lake so I could also do obscene things, though tame with regards to your interests ;)

from junius :

Puppetgirl, That is why I wrote: "But that was then and this is now and I think she's wisely moved on." Which is to say that I was agreeing that you made the right decision to stop writing a sex diary. I won't even get into all of the reasons why right here. I had no intent to insult you or criticize you and I apologize for failing to make that more clear. I took down my link to your diary simply because it isn't active anymore (although it was good when it was active - even when it was't about sex). And I thought that was worth a few words of explanation in the form of a diary entry. That's all.

from puppetgirl :

I like how you're pretending that you had no influence at all in telling me that it was not right to write about sex without my partner's consent and now you're acting like it's the end of an era since I stopped updating my diary. You are writing about sex with your wife without her consent. How do you think she'd feel if her parents or yours read about how you bent her over the dining room table in full view of the neighbors? Probably more violated than some random guy I fucked five years ago would have felt reading mine.

from mnemosynea :

arcane bra conundrum. holy shit that made me laugh. also, i agree with you that everyone is a total dork. everyone. no one is immune.

from chickpea981 :

thank you for your comment. I don't think I ever believed fuckbuddies could move forward but what you said gave me an ounce of hope. :)

from coexistapart :

Involved with a man who has a passion for collecting expensive guns and all kinds of military relics, I always end up thinking "Well, it's not exactly what *I* would collect, but hey...that money could be doing A LOT worse damage." Guns are about power; in the hands of the right kind of man they can be quite sexy.

from flukewarm :

Thank you for the comment you left me about getting active again. You are so right and I'm taking your words to heart.

from luxlust :

hi,I am from Santa Barbara and i have friends whos lives have been torn apart by the mudslide. I am glad to see that someone cares. i am trying to get people together to donate food, clothes, supplies to the families, would you be interested in helping? Please email me at [email protected], if you are. Thanks, annemarie.

from theslimreapr :

Hi Junius, I came across your diary by searching Diaryland for folks who dig Brian Eno. A group I'm working with is putting together an evening that will be dedicated to performing music from his early rock period. I've been polling people to see if they have any thoughts about the idea. Drop me a line if you'd like at: [email protected] Thanks!

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