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That all is SO true. Everything you said, I was sitting here nodding at... If there really is an subconscious reason as to why I'm having troubles, I really wish it would let me know what it was so I could start getting over it. Anyway, if it's not too much to ask, would it be possible to get the password to your diary? Here's my e-mail if you'd like... [email protected] (I know, pretty weird and random).

from greytrousers :

Exactly! More control over my emotions would be wonderful... I like to think that I do, but obviously I don't. Oh well. We'll all figure it out someday. Good luck to you :)

from dadeeli :

Hello there... I started reading your journal early this summer, I think back in May? I don't know... anyways, I was reading every update you did, then one day I realized you had locked your journal. At first, I didn't leave you a note or anything, hoping that you'd unlock it eventually. But, now its been a few months and I really miss reading your journal. I understand if you don't want to let me read it, since you don't know me or anything. But, it would be really great if I could catch up with you again. Email me or leave me a note if you feel like it. I hope everything is going well with you. Take care.

from donut-one :

Thank you very much ^_^. I'd read your diary, but it's locked...I'm sure you know that. But anyway, you live in Utah, what city? I'm live in West Jordan. Anyway, Have a great day ^_^! <3/ Dottie

from time2 :

That was amusing, you are so fucked up..just like the rest of us. cheers girl!

from krazieespy :

sorry I've been MIA but I noticed your diary islocked now.. God its been forever since I've been on diaryland.. anyways... let me know it so I can keep up :)

from razor-vixen :

Thanks! Glad to see you back!

from razor-vixen :

Hey is everything okay? You haven't posted for a while! If you're giving out passwords I'd love to have it; [email protected]. Thanks, and I hope you're well.

from time2 :

hmm, I got the email about the password thingy and I even replied, so do I get the PW?

from insanegerbil :

right right so can i get a password and shit?

from krazieespy :

YUMMM! I love Ruby Tuesdays..

from time2 :

oh yeah.....and Happy Birthday

from insanegerbil :

I hate that cunt fuckin bitch everybody insists I deem worthy of the title mother....though she's nothing but a fuckin cunt bitch, bent on fuckin my fuckin life up.fuckin bitch.ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SEE ONE FUCKIN FRIEND TODAY.and she fuckin strands me one fuckin town away from her, yet fuckin an hour away from where i live.that's the shit that kills me..is that i can walk to my friends house in under an hour from here, except it's the middle of the fuckin hick country, and it's pitch black out here.GRANTED, i'm on the college campus.so it's not so bad.and i already met some people here earlier WHEN I THOUGHT I'D BE LEAVING, so i probably won't be fucked tonight.but shit.what a cunt fuckin bitch.she fuckin buys me lunch, tells me to fuckin wait, i wait, and WAIT, AND WAIT...and then i finally call her and she has the NERVE to curse me out, and she's all "you're stuck"...you fuckin cunt bitch.why the fuck GO OUT OF YOUR WAY to fuck me like this, when I'm trying to fuckin get my shit fuckin done so i can fuckin leave in a few days.-she is a spiteful, bitter, cunt.she does this shit on PURPOSE, i fuckin swear.it is SOOOOO not in my fuckin head.AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME.i'm fuckin stupid for that shit.i already fuckin KNOW that bitch never does anything just to be fuckin nice.and everytime i'm all 'oh, never again' and then, there she is being all nice, all the while planning to fuck me with a hot curling iron the second i blink.

from insanegerbil :

yeah i'll type it up eventually just for you.

from insanegerbil :

hey i have that same black shirt.anyways, IT'S NOT GREEDY TO WANT SOMETHING!gosh...you're so freakin pretty.your eyebrows especially-i know that seems like a weird thing to notice...but yeah.i don't like mine much, and yours are perfect.

from krazieespy :

hun you look beautiful in every picture :) Congrats on being prepared for the anniversary!

from insanegerbil :

that rocks soooooooooooooooooo much ass, the resort shit.ah, i wish that was me.

from insanegerbil :

hahaha "make him pass out"

from krazieespy :

sweetie thank you for the lil love you gave me on your entry... I am home from surgery and suprisingly Im not that sore.. *knock on wood* I will write an entry hopefully.. ♥

from candoor :

hope your life works out the way you want it to... I stumbled in here from a link in someone else's diary and don't remember just who, but I found myself connected in the first lines as I wondered if I was the only one wondering how many entries do not get read because I update too quickly (like when I upload six entries in a day to catch up on a week of being too busy to upload)... I like not feeling so alone in this :)

from insanegerbil :

i consider talking to be cheating...not all talking, but the kind that have sexual tension from one or both sides.nothing to get in a bitch fit about, but those talks usually lead to kissing or boob touching.haha.

from krazieespy :

:) I have two days til my surgery.. You send me the link to your page and Ill send you mine when mine are done.. HA HA.. give it to me on MSN :) Thanks Hun.

from time2 :

So do we get to see them or what?

from krazieespy :

thanks sweetie.. Im having such a hard time with him, we use to talk back in the day when he was normal and yes I wanted to be in magazines, I wanted to be in the Adult Industry, I wanted to model.. All that good jazz, but he freaked meout.. I emailed Andrew.. I really hope he can tell him to stop or I am going to leave diaryland :(

from krazieespy :

ha ha thanks.. Im excited. Im nervous. Im all of the above.. I wo uld like to see pictures too.. Im worried about the scar under my boob.. Iw ill email you later today when i get home from my paperwork.. Bye.

from insanegerbil :

I WANT TO FEEL THEM.daaaaaaaaaamnit.why don't we live closer.i wanna see what they look like post operation.go take some pictures.it's not porn if it's surgery."OH MY HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN. I woke up with a lot of pain. My boobs hurt like the devil."hhaahahahahaha...you are so halarious.what drugs did they put you on?

from razor-vixen :

Here's to your surgery going well! Hope you're not in too much pain afterwards. *hug*

from insanegerbil :

oooo..i am scared for you.haha.you don't seem phazed about any complications at all!omg, it's nerve wracking!i can't wait till you update again.DETAILS.

from pandamonium :

Good luck with your surgery!! I hope everything goes well and you have a speedy recovery!! Best wishes!

from insanegerbil :

yeah, i know!that's the thing i don't get!..anyways, don't worry about him finding your diary.it's not like he asked you about your past and you knowingly misled him about it....is it?cuz if thats the case, maybe you should see if you can get the admin of the jewel site to delete your diary address off the site.your past is forgiveable, but lying in a relationship...well, i dunno about your bf, but i couldn't get over it.

from insanegerbil :

thats a good quote...about the 'clothes size bigger than age'.oh, thats sweet, that little message to me.ha.anyways, i can't wait till you get that surgery!!!!take some notes while your getting it and document the whole thing in your diary.i wanna hear about everything-gross fluids, what drugs they had you on, any pains, complications, prep work, bruises, scars.yep.the whole enchilada.

from razor-vixen :

There is nothing wrong with the surgeries you are having. I really hope they go well with no complications this time! You'll be wearing shorts & a tank this summer yet! Oh, and your guestbook isn't set up to receive messages, I tried to leave this there first!

from insanegerbil :

thats awesome about the concert, and also awesome about getting your arms fixed.after losing weight, you wouldn't expect extra skin to be such a huge barrier.

from insanegerbil :

i like the jewel cd 'peices of you'...and i like that new song 'intuition' she made.but thats about it.she reminds me of renee zwelldigger.

from sanetwin :

Your entry today was something I could really identify with. When I am having sex its hard for me not to remember the past.

from razor-vixen :

Hey there! I just discovered you (click through from your banner) and I definately believe you should have more readers! I hope the banner helps in that regard. Also just wanted to wish you luck on your surgery today. I hope it all goes well. You are a strong & brave person for doing what you had to do to lose the weight, and I really applaud you for that. I have my own weight struggles, but you're definately an inspiration! Hope you're able to update soon.

from loner-blues :

Wow! Thank you so much for the beautiful compliment you left regarding my diary! I'm so flattered you like it. I would love to interview you. The way it works is: I ask you five questions, you post the questions and your answers in *your* journal, along with the note asking your readers if they would like to be interviewed by you. And round and round and round we go...where it stops, nobody knows. :-D Just give me a day or two to read through your archives so I can make sure your questions are personalized and (reasonably) intelligent. :-) -cat

from krazieespy :

Hi. Just saying hi noticed you commented on my diary.. I would LOVE to know how your surgery went? IM me on AIM/MSN I have a lot I want to ask you on how hes doing it. Over or Under the muscle.. Etc! Thanks

from blankbanker :

Greetings from Seattle! I just thought you would like to know your wish of Seattle burning might be coming true. Mt. St. Helens erupted this evening and it really blew its top, no word on extent of damage...probably none. However if anything should occur, I hold you responsible dear Propel.

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