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Hi Jen: Hoping to get your new password info. I've been reading your diary forever and couldn't get access today. My email is [email protected]. Thanks & hope all is well with you :) Cherie

from miedema2002 :

Hi, can I please have access to your diary? [email protected]

from silver80 :

Hey, this is silverstar from TF. I lost your pw and s/n when my internet went down. If you don't mind could you e-mail them to me at [email protected]. Well. I hope things are going well for you. Take care, silverstar

from charidy :

Sorry, my email is [email protected]

from charidy :

Hi Jen, Can you please send me your password, I used to read your site all the time last year, but I lost my internet and just got it back. Thank you,

from jojojojo1982 :

Duh, I forgot to put my adress. Sorry. [email protected]

from jojojojo1982 :

Hello, may I please have the name/password to view your site? I used to read your site a lot last year and stumbled across it again. Thanks.

from sillyheart :

Hi Jen. Could you e-mail me your new password? My e-mail is [email protected]. Thanks !!

from onelasttear :

Hi Jen, I've been reading your diary for a long time now, and I would really appreciate it if you could send me your password. Pretty please? My email is [email protected] <3 Kelly

from sonotskinny :

nutjob!! HAHAHAHA! Oh man that made me laugh so hard! You're hilarious!

from sillyheart :

Hi, Jen. I've been reading your diary forever!! Can you e-mail me the password? [email protected] Thanks :)

from sonotskinny :

Hey! You locked your diary. =*( Do you think I could get the user/pass? My email is [email protected]

from invisibledon :

saw your banner on the top site list so I clicked over - hope you don't mind that I'm reading

from for-you-only :

hello!!!

from mslola :

just thought that you ought to know that i am so in your corner, as EDed i can be. i post just reminded me of how fuzzy recovery is when you are in it. when you are out of it, recovery seems simple to understand. i hope that that made sense. all the best, ferventfish

from iamtwopeople :

i just found your blog randomly, and i know what it's lie being selfish, and feeling guilty about it. but not matter how guilty you feel you cant seem to do anything about it...

from lostlilone3 :

i just read your most recent entry and i completely understand.. outside of an eating disorder i don't think i have much.. i have spent so much time being "good" at it that i don't believe i'm anything but a failure at everything else. i like people to look at me and to say to themselves "that girl has an eating disorder, just look at her." but as soon as they approach me about it i don't want their attention any more. i've been in and out of these programs so much in the last year and a half that sometimes i just think what the hell is the point. i'm not going to change because if i don't have an e.d what do i have? if i can't be good at this is there any point in trying anything else?

from charidy :

I know it is hard, but you are strong, and you can do it. Just try and take it one second at a time, one hour at a time, and one day at a time, at least that is what my therapist used to say ;)

from jigglesgrrl :

im so proud of you hun, keep up the good work, i worry so much about you still and im glad that were friends again! love ya! Luv, Cori aka Corinne aka NS aka "rotton apple" hee hee its all good hun =)

from cruel-irony :

It's so good to see some updates from you! I don't know how things are for you currently but best wishes.

from pornoviolent :

you, my dear, are marked.... watch toward the eastern shore when the full moon stakes high... watch and wait. your new journey shall begin.

from quiet-soma :

hey =) i'm kailani from tf. just wanted to let you know that i really like your diary and added it to my faves. xxx

from bean-n-bacon :

88 pounds? but you're a cow? i'm 125 and you don't hear me complaining. sorry but it just irks me when skinny girls think they're fat. good diary though. you seem a little bit like me except skinnier. besos.

from bobbird :

sup? im from canada and iduno just thought i;d check out your diary. read mine if uwant, its nothing but rhymes and songs. peace

from dancerqun :

dont be so hard on yourself. your diary is really interesting, i like it. im sorry that u are getting bothered so much- but things will get better soon enough. good luck with everything you do, and check out my diary sometime if u get bored.

from hamiltonian :

sorry I was just shocked!speechless

from hamiltonian :

you weigh 91?

from angelfish42 :

Hi! I'm new to diaryland. You crack me up with some of your entries. I wish I could have your sense of humor. I seem to be stuck just being mad at everyone for making me gain weight. Maybe it is lame when my goal in life is to lose wt, but hey, none of my other goals have ever made me feel happier when I meet them! I hope you made out OK at the MD today. Oh, I too have been addicted to pretzles for a couple of years, but what are pretzles that come in a box? Hehe.. yes, I'm this desperate to find a "new" type.. gotta keep a little variety in the diet ya know!

from bloodnhate :

awww. thanks. mind if we add eachother?

from ana-angelica :

I just found your diary - I love the way you write and wondered if you would like to be a diarist for my site? Please just go to the site and drop me a line with your url if you do - I would not link you without your permission. Thanks :)

from bloodnhate :

hey, i ran into your diary. you seem pretty cool

from austinliz :

I miss pizza too! Mmm.. pizza.

from anyra :

hi sweetie! hey i've read you today... you are right now at almost the same weight than me... and i totaly undestand you when you think about the 90's... it seems to be so difficult to get skinny to this point. But, because we are the same weight i think i could relate to you so much. So, hey hon... let's do it, oh just if you want: i lose one, you lose one... tomorrow i'll be on 106... you too. on friday 104... you'll be there too.. anyways... that just a plan, i dont realy if it works... Being two who are losing the same weight... i imagine you'll find my idea stupid, maybe not. anyways i give you big kisses... keep writing, you're great! anyra xoxox

from duany23 :

hi, thanks for your note you left me on my diary. anyways, i was wondering if you could give me the info for that program you were talking about. i think the time has come for me to give up and give in and try again for OP...anyways, if you could give me teh info, i'd greatly appreciate it. you can email me at [email protected] thank you so very much ~*MICHELLE

from comfortm :

wow, i didnt even know you were on tf...now i know,thanks. I understand bout the effexor.I take it so it kicks me into restricting mode. i dont have an appetite pysically but mentally i do and the effexor kicks that.It is a good medicine other than that ,it calms my meds down..just don't let your docs up to to 300mgs like mine did...its a bitch to come off of them,lol. see round tf.

from comfortm :

erase the effexor does not cause weight loss bit in the beginnig cause its supposed to cause weight loss in like 50-75 percent of ppl who take it.

from comfortm :

Hi i just read your entry bout taking effexor xr and it does not cause weight loss..some ppl have lost weight on it.In all honesty,doctors are not supposed to prescribe it to anorexics b/c it surpresses your appetite and high risk for weight loss..but some ppl loss on it some ppl stay the same...but i take it and it takes away the urge to b/p ..in your case it may help with the binging. Doctors are so stupid giving us meds that is going to make our ed easier...*rolls eyes* the side effects of star ting effexor suck though..but then agian if your at a low enough doseage than you may be alright..but if you have flu symptoms with in the few days after taking it you'll know why. good luck!

from cruel-irony :

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I'm sending good wishes your way.

from cruel-irony :

A new nephew! Congratulations!

from cruel-irony :

You crack me up, Girl! I love your sense of humor.

from sillyheart :

You are an absolute joy and you don't even know it.

from cruel-irony :

I'm glad you made it through, and I hope you feel better soon. I know things can get really overwhelming. I wish you the best.

from tcklyrpharsn :

I can't convince you of anything. I can't say the right things. But at the very least, know that there is at least one person who doesn't even know you who thinks that you're awesome, that you're amazing and brave, and that you will make a contribution to this world if you just hang tight through these shitty years.

from cruel-irony :

Happy Belated Birthday! I wish you many moments of peace in this during this new year.

from lovrgurl4j :

aww my dads is on the twelth too.. Happy birthday

from lovrgurl4j :

my birthday is on October 17. When's urs.

from lovrgurl4j :

hey there.. i was reading an Article in Cosmopolitan and it says " To curb P.m. pig outs, turn on the lights, dieters are more likely to binge in dimly lit rooms than in bright places" so... i guess try to be in the light lol and see if that works, i dunno i thought of u when i read it so i thought id let u know. Tiffs

from comfortm :

hey dont be too hard on urself.BED is like any other eating disorder,its an addiction and it takes alot of time to kick them.i used to go through something similar..i'd starve then eat at nite but it wasn't a full out binge just more than i was comfortable with. eventually i got through it....u have to take these things one day at a time.if ur feeling particulary stressed or like u want to binge feel free to leave me a note or email. take care!xoxo

from cruel-irony :

I hope your first day back and school went well. You're in my thoughts.

from denied83 :

Jen: Hope recovery and school are going well for you...I know how hard it is to work on both at the same time =) I really admire the fact that you are even attempting to recover, that takes so much strength and character. Take care, Kirstin (I'm from TF just in case you are wonderding who the fuck this is)

from lovrgurl4j :

aww jen. 98.8 pounds.. If you feal like a fat ass.. exercise thats what i do. lol. Im in cross couuntry only for the exercise and maybe the ability to lose a few pounds this year, thats my goal yea know...but, I hate when ppl force you to eat

from lovrgurl4j :

gastroenteralogist...call me stupid but what is that? Tiff

from anasmyway :

Hi I just joined the ring pro ana and mia well I saw that it wasn't really active and thought I would kinda change that. All I'm doing right now is starting a little thing called. Ana-Mia Mondays. Its where I will post 5 questions dealing with ana-mia. Anway don't want to bore you there is more info at my diary. I hope to see you there. Thanks for your time. :)

from x-quizite :

Hey. I stumbled upon your diary and it compelled me. You're so brave to have your diary open... You're so brave for letting people read through day my day on your recovering. You have hope that you'll be better. And "better" doesn't mean gaining weight... nor does it mean feeling good about yourself... "Better" is where you feel safe. Any who, I admire your courage and I'll be adding you to by favorites list. G'night.

from tcklyrpharsn :

Dude, you are so awesome. I admire your strength. Even if you fall back and slip into the old way every so often, I still have a huge amount of respect for you. Anyone who can take control after being totally out of control, or anyone who even TRIES, is a hero in my books. Keep on keeping on, sister. You're inspiring.

from xxkrissy :

Hello! Ur diary rox, and I wanna say JK ROWLING ROX!! lol, c yz! Krissy

from cruel-irony :

It's great to read your updates as I've missed them. Best wishes.

from cruel-irony :

I'm sending good wishes your way. I hope you find some moments of peace during your stay. You certainly deserve some tranquility after all the ups and downs. Best of luck.

from sillyheart :

Hi, Jen. Just wanted to wish you all the best and hope you benefit from your stay inpatient. P.S. YOU ARE NOT FAT, GIRL!! You are way under 100 pounds and for your height that is extremely thin. You are so intelligent, please find a way to recover on your own terms. Again, I wish you all the best.

from tcklyrpharsn :

hey there. I've been reading your diary for a bit, and I just wanted to let you know that I admire your courage and strength in this whole business! Hang in there!

from nedia :

I really wish that things could work out fine for you. Have been reading your diary for such a long time! This is the first time I leav you a note, and I hope it's OK that I (finally) add you in my buddy list.... *hug*

from cruel-irony :

Oh, that's rich! Buy an eating disorder book and get food coupons... it's hard to top that!

from divadesigns :

Hi. I have created a new layout site called Diva Designs. I currently have layouts featuring Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Buffy & Moulin Rouge! Please visit the site! Kelly xxx

from sillyheart :

Hi, Jen. Hope you are doing OK. I miss reading your diary . . . could you e-mail me a password? My e-mail is [email protected]. Thanks!!

from miedema2002 :

Hi Jen, I have no idea why it didn't work. Did you try [email protected]? If not try that it should go through.

from cruel-irony :

Hey there. I've sent two emails to the address you gave me and both have come back to me telling me your address won't accept them and/or(?) that your address is invalid. My email seems to be working so I don't what the problem is. Nonetheless, I hope all is well.

from cruel-irony :

I'm missing your diary. Could you please drop by my site and send me an email with your password? Thanks.

from miedema2002 :

Hi Jen, I have been reading your diary for a while and I saw that it was locked how come? Anyways can I please have your password and useername? IF you want I can give you mine too. Well hope to herar from you seeon bye.

from riffrandal89 :

Hi, Jen. I've had your diary on my favorites for about a week and wasn't able to access it today so I am contacting you for a password. My name is Cherie and I live in Montana. I am an aspiring writer . . . your diary is extremely articulate and my experiences with EDs and family craziness are very similar to yours, so I would like to continue reading your entries. Just as a sidenote . . . if you liked Marya Hornbacher and Sylvia Plath, I recommend that you read Virginia Woolf and see the movie "The Hours" if you haven't already. My e-mail is [email protected]. Thanks!!

from cruel-irony :

I hope you're feeling better.

from ex-bitch :

The unpopped cal count is 1 tablespoon=120 I think. Thats only because when its unpoped your forsure getting all the oil and butter they put in the bag. Once it pops your not getting all of it cause most of it sticks to the bag. Anyway I have an air poper too that I totally forgot about, so thank you for reminding me! LOL

from ex-bitch :

I think I may have found a good binge food! Popcorn, its about 35-45 cal/cup and there are about 4 servings in a bag. I have been making sure to have microwave popcorn around at all times. You can eat the whole bag and only counsume 140-180 cal in a binge, instead of 400-1000 in a binge. Thought you might like to know. I also put up a web site you might like. Heres a link: http://hometown.aol.com/fallenangell24/ProED.html Kelly

from ex-bitch :

A cup of white rice is 160 cal and soy sauce is about 15 cal per table spoon I beleive. I wouldnt worry to much about the capachino, it hasnt seemed to affect your weight in the past. Kelly

from ex-bitch :

Your welcome! Something told me you would be surprised at how many calories you could have. I see you point with wanting something were you can eat the whole box and not feel too bad about. If I come across anything I will let you know. ~Kelly

from ex-bitch :

Another hint for ya...eat honey packets. Your school caf should have em. There about 64 cal for 2 but honey is a good source of energy and relatively good for ya. Just a thought for when you need energy or something sweet.

from ex-bitch :

Well, Im sending you a link to a calorie counter. Basically you put in your stats (height..weight(or dream weight)) and it tells you how many calories you can consume to maintain your weight. It also calculates for how active you are. http://wvda.org/calcs/fcals.htm Also as far as your candy cravings, look into slim fast snack bars. They taste like candy bars and there only 120 calories a bar. Which is a lot for you but its not much in a binge fest. I hope this helps you out a bit...whether you decide to "get well" or keep Ana around. Kelly

from ana-angels :

Hey - just wanted to offer an invite to our community - it might help with the anorexic thing... :) http://www.geocities.com/anorexia_afam

from irishgirl112 :

hey, you know the way you think still having your period means you're not thin enough? my period stops when i'm under 120lbs or so, which is pretty damn fat in anorexic-speak so i wouldn't worry about it too much.....

from baybe-gurl :

Hey you! Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure you're a gorgeous girl.. I know where you're coming from tho, as far as being depressed and all that shit. But NEVER give up...things will get better I promise! Happy Birthday!! Smile :-D

from sadeyes85 :

Hi Jen :) Happy Birthday! Is it possible I could have your email addy?

from guysmilie :

You'll probably never lose your butt as much as you hope to. Look at Britney Spears. She works out practically every damn day of her life and performs sweating like mad and she still has a big rump on her. Besides, guys like a nice shapely ass on a woman. "More cushion for the pushin'" - that's really true! :)

from matti-dreams :

Hey Jen, I would love to read your entries if that's okay with you..... but it's locked so I was hoping you'd let me use the password. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks! Love, Matti

from roxystar4 :

i have a question for you... I was wondering what the "hospital weight" was... how low do you have to go before they stick you in there?? If a person is 5'5 when do you become "sick"? email [email protected] Thank you!!!!

from sharpsecret :

ur such a strong person but its scary to think u may break.be careful.ur body is cryin out to u.dont ignore the pains.read them.takecare xxi hope u find happinessxxhaylz xx

from roxystar4 :

How do you do it? How can you be so strong??????

from naughtyxxx :

Hello Jen. I read you diary and I really admire you. I have recently developed anorexica. I was ana in high school, was 78 pounds at one point. "Recovered" and now at 21 I find myself in her arms again. I may sicken you. I weigh a lot. 134 pounds. Anyway, I felt touched by your entries especially how you freaked the other day cuz your Dad invaded your space. I know how you feel. I can be a major bitch sometimes. I talk about pro-ana badly sometimes because it scares me. I don't know how to explain it and I don't want you to think that I am putting you down if you read my shitty rants about how fucked up ana's are because I really just talking about myself.... Hi Jen.

from grahamc :

Hi, Jen! I just started reading your diary today. I'm anorexic also. Well, actually, I'm 'in recovery' I'm 19 and have been ana since I was 12. Just wanted to say I really like your diary and I can relate a lot to what you talk about. Feel free to e-mail me: [email protected] love, caroline

from waterfall2 :

Hi.. thanks for leaving a noet :) I love getting noets! After reading your last entry I think maybey you need to take some anti-deepresents. You sound deepressed and seems you just rather give up and slip away from the world. Why don't you like social situation? Are you afraid they won't like you or your idea's? If soo.. just get the idea in your head that your not there to make best friends.. who cares what they or anybody thinks. Nobody's better than you! Screw em. I just felt like crawling through your comp and giving you a big hug :( I'll pray for you ok? a friend Christina :)

from waterfall2 :

Hi..its Pounds.. I'm just using my other diary's name. YOu sure do alot of stuff for your mom. Is she sick or anything? And how old are you? Just curious. Just reading your last entry made me tired. And to think you get enough energy from 4 grapes is Amazing! It sure takes a hella lot more to get me going. Well..signing off. You did Awsome by getting up a couple pounds.Good Job!!!!! Christina :)

from waterfall2 :

from pounds :

Ive had a piece of chocolate cake this morning..sorry..it true though. Where do you get fake cheese? Do you mean the sliced in plastic wrap kind? I read your diary cause..well..I'm so opposite of you. And I've watched anerxic stories on the discovery channel and am flabbergasted on how you view yourself. I notice though I drink more water when I read your diaryand am reminded that I really don't want to starve myslelf cause your an exmaple of what I could become. Its hard annd sad reading your diary.. I want to screama..Sweetheat just eat!!! THe part about trying on this little kids pants (and how they kinda fit but they were too short)got to me. And I can''t help but wonder when your going to pass on..Those heart problelms that you have are pretty scary. Your going to die soon if you don't do nothing about it. Of course my ramblings arn't going to help you. There just words..and you don't know who I am..I .. I'm just concerned.. Christina :)

from xinteruptedx :

just in case you think nobody understands.......i do..:)

from chaotic-dyke :

Hi. I have been looking for someone who goes by the alias xprincess. I have something signed that, a poem actually. And I really would like to get in touch with whoever wrote it. The poem saved my life once, if not more times. Anyways, if this is rude or prying or anything, ignore me. But if not, and if you do, or used to (it is very old) write, then would you mind emailing me? [email protected] thanks :)

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