messages to zoela:
(click here to add new message):

from raven72d :
Thanks for the note! I do enjoy reading your entries. I like the set design imagery, by the way...
from moodswing :
Gonna get you a crystal ball, not that you need one.
from raven72d :
Glad I could be a prompt for writing!
from raven72d :
December of the Year 22... Hope you're well. Your entries are still haunting.
from blueisnotred :
Surprised and sad to her you've locked, if you ever feel like letting a stranger from the other side of the pond read your dusty again, you know where I am! Id been wondering where you went x
from moodswing :
Hope you're hanging in out there in the world <3
from blueisnotred :
thank you so much for that note. youre right, the work is for me to do, all others can do is be there and encourage. xx
from moodswing :
I've found very few possibilities for other writing places.. so if you ever need it.. [email protected] :) :)
from blueisnotred :
That analogy of dland being like a village with a non-existent mayor is so accurate... I also hope they don't force us out into a cold, foreign retirement home :(
from raven72d :
I do like your latest entry-- 12 March 22 here tonight Adventures that haven't happened yet... I like that idea.
from raven72d :
Port, yes. Ruby hunting port. And port in Lisbon is even better.
from blueisnotred :
wow... you may be so right about that putin thing.
from breezip :
time traveling ~~ finally archiving and removing my content here. I'm so glad you're still writing! find me if you like. breadcrumbs. soozzip at gmail
from moodswing :
aw shucks, and shucks again. if you have a kindle app, you can search "dead ends and other oddities" on amazon books, and you might find some 11 year old poetry junk. some of it is just plucked from here. amazon prime will give it to you for free. otherwise there's a google doc somewhere. sadly, fewer than 20 physical copies exist in the world and I don't have any of them. but most of it doesn't live up to my current standards. hopefully someday I'll put together something of consequence and we can all have boats. ANYWAY YOU ARE VERY SWEET
from moodswing :
Understatement: I don't like this dude
from blueisnotred :
Happy to hear your plan of action, it sounds from your last few entries that you were in a bit of a funk, hopefully you'll find your way out :)
from blueisnotred :
Wow, congratulations on your allergy discovery. At least there is a solution now, what a relief that is for you!
from blueisnotred :
that sagrada familia line cracked me up. oh my.
from moodswing :
odd: I was cleaning out my old dropbox and found a file named 'zoela' from May 2019. I think they were bits and pieces of some of your entries. I think if I remember right, you said you wanted someone to write a story about you? and maybe I was trying to do that? I have no idea. ODD.
from moodswing :
oh - singing bowl! It is a calming activity. And if nothing else the sound and the process of 'playing' it seems, so far, to be able to knock me out of a negative thought loop.
from moodswing :
aw, you made me cry a little with both notes and entries. I am glad we are here.
from blueisnotred :
17/11/21 I thought it would be wrong not to leave you a note at this time when you seem to be going through a nasty patch. I've been reading your diary and really enjoy the way you write. I sincerely hope you find peace at this time, within yourself, regardless of who is around you or not. You're sound so strong. You have a beautiful soul and deserve to be kind to yourself.
from moodswing :
i have love for you.
from moodswing :
depends on the game, but I bet you would like an rpg. Especially one you can just explore through if you want, and not actually "play the game" if you feel like it.
from moodswing :
Ah yes, that period of time. Nice that they notified everyone, I suppose. I purged most of my old one a few years ago, but I keep thinking about returning in some fashion.. there are so few places to go. But even 10 (ugh) years ago, while I was grateful for things I learned, I still felt out of place. And for the record, as far as one dlander goes, I'm never put off by your ranting. It's your space. <3
from moodswing :
Did not know Tumblr was involved in any of that. When was that?
from moodswing :
Sorry for taking forever to respond, December was weird. The velvet lady was the first thing I wrote to get the juices going - just a woman in a room being peculiar. It kept mentioning the women who came before her, and she was stuck there. The one that was more direct for you was a story going about a young woman (mostly) enjoying her isolation in a small apartment (my old studio, sigh) during the continuing pandemic. Definitely some inspiration there. Since you're inspiring and all. Also, glad you are taking out the trash.
from moodswing :
I was busy with a head full of writing so I just caught up on the last month of diaryland, and I just wanted to say that I missed reading you, you are mild inspiration for one of my characters, and I am glad you are getting back into the swing of your sweet solitude
from moodswing :
I give good full hugs. I also have a couch I'll just keep open with an arm and a shoulder. I had some earplugs at one point, and they sort of helped, but they always ended up falling out my ears while sleeping. Also, I have the unquiet, ringing ears, so... what do you put on the headphones when you sleep? I used to use rain sounds before the headphones. I've used one music for months now, but I think I have to switch to something else. It's getting me too excitable. And I'm noticing that, with the music, while I am on this early schedule, that I am waking up whenever the music ends. In effect, only sleeping the length of the album. Like, I wake up in the middle of the last song. This cannot continue.
from moodswing :
Noise-canceling earbuds? How novel. What technology! I'll have to look into this, because I cannot handle a kinked neck every morning anymore. // Free yourself of his shit and have his friend deal with it. A casual observer says you have carried it long enough. // I'll give you a hug. <3
from moodswing :
Are your headphones the kind that go over the ears? I would guess yes if they're noise cancelling? I've been using some for a few months and they've made a big difference in being able to sleep. Enough that now I can't really go without them. But even though they're cushy, they're big, and I think sleeping on them might be contributing to headaches. How do you do this?
from moodswing :
I see you took your notes link off your main page, but I had to come since I always think about it. It's weird to feel so.. connected is the wrong word I think, since it's an insular thing, but your entries speak to me so much and have for some time, especially this summer. I've learned a lot about my cravings for solitude, even though I am partnered, even though I feel alone socially in some ways. I write this as I try to tune out my windows rattling from the bass in cars on the nearby street. And I read your latest entry this morning.. I finally started trying the gratitude list in my paper book. Tentative, I did it for five days.. missed the next two days and then crashed hard ...It has been a rough stretch of days. "What is wrong with me," I repeated. I was doing so well, I seemed on the up, only to fall seemingly deeper than I was before. Today seems okay, like maybe I might be able to try again. None of this really says much other than you are admired by a stranger, and look forward to your words, up or down.
from zenayda :
Oh gosh, your June 26 entry. You are in my brain.
from zenayda :
Hiya! Drive-by via the beautiful SwordFern. Your entry about social media is exactly where I am, too. Heck, I worry about upsetting folks on here I have known since I started with another diary at the end of 2002, so I have stopped for the time being. But social media...what a cesspool it has become. Ugly, ugly, ugly.
from moodswing :
memes are so, so good right now.
from loveherwell :
you deserve better. it's hard, but you deserve so much better.
from loveherwell :
lots of clap emojis to that one
from moodswing :
I like the gratitude list. I might have to try it.
from loveherwell :
true life re: your latest entry. sadly.
from moodswing :
8-10 entry is A+
from moodswing :
that sounds like a neat job and a cool dream
from breezip :
<3 find me here: thenavelgazery.wordpress.com
from moodswing :
through no real act of my own, i am also having one of the best decembers in many years. i also have weird dream things. they haven't happened as much in awhile. one that really stuck out was an involved dream about an apartment complex that was overrun with weird cat-rat creatures. in my casual internetting the next morning, i came across an article about a parasite that causes mice to lose their fear of cats (so the parasite can replicate in the cat gut). a lot of the less notable occurrences have been like this; dream something that comes up within some hours of waking up. i've considered it could be related to lucid dreaming work.. or transmitters in my brain.. or some brain glitch function like deja vu.. but it's strange that those are the dreams that come to mind first, when there was one a couple years ago where, i swear to whatever is holy, i was at a crowded fairgrounds with a specific friend set, when one friend grew uncomfortable with the crowd and needed to leave. we all agreed to go with her. then she was pushing my ex's mother in a wheelchair. ex and i had been broken up for a year or two, i had not seen his mom (or him, for that matter) since. his mom wanted to say goodbye, because she was leaving too. the next day i heard she'd had a heart attack and died. i forget about that one. incidentally, the friend who was pushing the chair is no longer in my life either. weird.
from breezip :
It's been years. A decade? More? You're still writing here, actively! Is it possible you're the only soul who hasn't been assimilated to microblogging on Facebook? I love that you're still writing! This community was so lovely, once upon a time. I might feel like this was a ghost town, if it weren't for stumbling upon you...
from loveherwell :
i know it doesn't mean much, as i am just a stranger on the internet, but i do care.
from comebacktome :
can I get a password pretty please?
from elusive-you :
maybe it's not much but i wanted to say i'm proud of you. it takes a lot to break out of a cycle.
from moodswing :
I hope you make it.
from moodswing :
But my basement is freakyweird! And air eels nightmarish. There's a side room in the basement that has one wood-paneled wall, and the other walls I brilliantly painted a purple and real. It's made sense at the time. Also we've decorated with the carcasses of newly deceased mice. Nobody wants that.
from moodswing :
"I choose this reality over the reality of being with you." I think you may have just fixed something old in my head, or at least put it back in its box
from elusive-you :
yes! you don't need people like that in your life. xx
from loveherwell :
i really enjoy what you write. i hope you're having a nice night.
from lostasyou :
You should definitely read the book! Really interesting and goes into a lot more detail.. obviously haha, but really good!
from lostasyou :
Thank you for adding me, I'm doing the same with you now :)
from moodswing :
excellent. i'm glad you did.
from moodswing :
^exception ... resolution? get a resolution. hah.
from permeation :
I really don't know how to say it any more times - but just reading your words helps me cope with my divorce all the more. Esp when you say things like 'remember that it's not romantic to suffer for someone, it's just counter-productive.' x
from moonsocket :
the japanese do have a way, don't they? i find it's the french that get to me bad. do you remember the title? i'm on a twisted mission to find more. they make me feel alive in some sick way.
from moonsocket :
happy birthday, zoela. x
from revisions :
How about I take you out for a birthday coffee? And I'll tell you to keep your chin up. When you've got nothing left to hold onto, hold onto yourself.
from fairybones :
i'm horrible at checking my notes, so this one is very much overdue, but i still wanted to say thank you for the little note you left me a while ago. i appreciated it very much <3
from moonsocket :
oh my, but you are intriguing.....
from bilgedasto :
i enjoy your writing very much.
from raven72d :
how was Toronto?
from permeation :
I find it fascinating that you and I appear to be going through similar situations with our husbands...
from permeation :
For what it's worth - I get a lot from your diary. A lot of strength, determination and most importantly, courage. Strangers are good for comfort. Funny, that. x
from permeation :
god. I had a man tie me up, blindfold me, choke me and pull my hair recently. It's an interesting dynamic that.
from permeation :
I'd quite happily add that to my resume as well. In fact, I might go out and find a second job here in Brighton to do exactly the same thing. x
from raven72d :
Good luck on the art! And the sex shop. And on Canada.
from permeation :
Oh, but it's you who is amazing! Ps, What kind of art would are you doing for this exhibition, and Pss, I'd love! to work in a sex shop. x
from raven72d :
Thanks for the Barcelona wishes, bella.
from raven72d :
Trust me: living in southern Louisiana when your friends all live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan is shameful.
from revisions :
thanks for your thoughts of late. they've been refreshing. east coast eh? beantown?
from sunfuck :
it's disgusting that people will kill one another because of their beliefs. i truly hope the iraqi government comes to its senses before more innocent people die.
from raven72d :
I can't live without takee-outee.
from permeation :
You know, last night I was in the changing room at the gym and noticed a flyer on the wall for belly dancing - and I had a quick thought of 'you know, that could be kind of awesome'. After reading your entry now, I think I might just give it a go!
from raven72d :
Good luck on the condo.
from raven72d :
I'll be waiting with a passport and a carry-on.
from raven72d :
i so want to see Buenos Aires...
from permeation :
..those little spankers are too, too good. have fun. x
from l-alle :
the castro! you are adorably mischievous!
from revisions :
definitely! deadline for submissions?
from raven72d :
I just randomly discovered you. Captivating writing. I will be following your story--- you're a fine writer.
from permeation :
I am glued to you these days.
from vanoonoo :
is it really impossible for any of your family to find your mom and drive her to the hospital? can you not do it with someone following covertly to check no one gets hurt?
from leftunspoken :
Hi, baby. Praying. Now. And for awhile for all sorts of healing in each of your lives. God bless and hold each of you! Much love, Marcia
from dannyboyk2 :
april is so crazy
from ariadne518 :
I'm down with your prof's take on April. Odd juxtaposition, suicide and spring. Want some thin mints? I have a freezer full. I'm a sucker and all the little girl scouts in the neighborhood know it.
from revisions :
thanks for that - today i especially needed a little reminder about the relationships i have are worth holding close.
from bantenhut :
hi! I've read your current entry and "100 things" page, and I'd like to read more but I can't find the "Previous" and "Next" buttons. Are they there? Am I crazy? :) Tchao!
from ariadne518 :
insane like a fox, foxy.
from revisions :
so glad you're writing again...i suppose i should get back on that train as well.
from ariadne518 :
lordy have mercy, it's been too long. things are a-foot for you. I nuked my myspace, and I lost you. Can't find you, find me: ariadnes_legacy at yahoo dot com.
from revisions :
"O, yet we trust that somehow good will be the final goal of ill..." hang in there.
from revisions :
him being the guy from the band?
from revisions :
and this was a good or bad decision?
from revisions :
you okay?
from leftunspoken :
Oh please consider yourself flattered. I'd love to get it, if you wouldn't mind terribly. My email is wrong on my site though. If you can't leave it in my notes, leave me a note telling me you can't and I'll send you an email address to use.
from revisions :
i don't know what to tell you, but i've been thinking about it. at 25, i'm starting to think that the hard questions in life have no answers. best of luck.
from revisions :
no way?! what!
from revisions :
young folks - peter, bjorn and john. perhaps your present life story in song.
from apyjo :
Funny, my life is constantly rock star -less...*grin* Have fun, try not to break any appendages or freeze anything off that you might be able to use...
from revisions :
holy shit! you and your life! c'est fantastique!
from dannyboyk2 :
I'm glad to hear you're enjoying things, though complicated they may be. I enjoy reading about your life because you make it out to be a fun adventure. Thank you for sharing your happiness with us today. Thank you sharing reason to smile.
from coldandgray :
Hey. I remember you. hi.
from ariadne518 :
own it, baby. Congrats!
from breezip :
How'd the show go?
from apyjo :
You betcha ! Good weird though , yanno.
from eemer :
HELLLL YEAAHH! wtg zoela :]
from apyjo :
Interesting fact about skinheads, Ms Zoela ! I imagine not all skinheads are products of trailer living..
from eemer :
oo no i wouldn't dream of stealing! i just love that image of her ^^ your diary is very entertaining btw :)
from eemer :
hey! just wondered where you got your amazing bjork template from, or if you created it yourself? it's sooo good! love em
from revisions :
come to england. it can be your excuse/escape.
from revisions :
and because all interesting things come in sets of three, a third note... thanks for the vote of confidence. my aimless wandering has led me to decide upon a venture in self employment, also known as the "starving arts." i'll send more info once i get things sorted out (as they say in england).
from revisions :
it's back.
from revisions :
where did your diary go?
from revisions :
"people with the ability to approach beauty itself and see beauty as it actually is are bound to be few and far between, aren't they?" your latest entry made me think of these words. it's comforting to know that even in today's world of shallow vanities, people like you still exist. :)
from breezip :
I don't know if I buy the "alternative being harder"...what's liberation about if we continue to bottle up our desires, the stuff that gives us joy? You've made a promise, sure, but sometimes promises are broken. Sometimes they should be broken, maybe. --fondly, your devil's advocate.
from argolam :
Maybe God sent you an email asking if you want a low mortgage rate or to enlarge your penis, and your spamguard erased it. You never know.
from revisions :
loved your most recent entry - what a fantastic realization to have, and at our age! i realize that belonging to this disenfranchised generation requires some measure of bitching and moaning, but you've unlocked one of life's rare mysteries, contentment. i feel the absence of that mindframe has been detrimental to my ability to function these days, and so i'm seeking after the ability to say, like you, "i'm alive and it's pretty great after all." thanks for the inspiration.
from apyjo :
I hear what your saying about women coming in all shapes & sizes but disagree eith the "occasional rail thin model" because a large number of them are small looking , to me at least. I've been small too ( although it's been years ), but I am no longer so mad about that as I am about all the retouched photos and plastic surgery. I mean there are some things that are normal on a woman, but we can't see this anymore. It doesn't exist in print. Also all thise fake plumping of parts is weird to me and doesn't look normal. Grumble....
from apyjo :
Vis-a-vis preggers girlfriends...don't hold back ...tell us whatcha really think !! Just ribbing you ! I was the first of my girlfriends to get married & pregnant. Some of 'em got pregnant , but did not stay so...and I had nuttin to do with that...
from revisions :
yes, perfectly normal. last summer my husband shaved his beautiful beard and i went crazy. now i freak out if he cuts it too short.
from breezip :
Kudos: being neither perfect nor failed. Yes, that's it exactly. Also, critical mass is Friday, June 30. Care to meet for bicycling (and perhaps Shabbat dinner afterwards?) - your call...
from apyjo :
http://newkidontheblogapyjo.spaces.msn.com/PersonalSpace.aspx You'll have to set up a user name & password though !
from apyjo :
Sometimes quick and to the point is the only way to go ! Check out my blog when you have a chance! Please ...*friendly smile* New Kid on the Blog @ MSN spaces.
from argolam :
Well, I�ve already been to San Francisco once so I�ve seen a lot of the touristy things. This time I just want to visit a museum or two, maybe see a band and do a lot of drinking. What can I say, I�m simple folk. But I'll definitely go look for those thrift stores on Haight Street. Thanks.
from argolam :
I�m sorry but you�re too late. Where were you five years ago when I first visited San Francisco? Why weren�t you around to warn me then about that awful wharf? Shame on you. But I�m hoping to enjoy the city this time around. Any suggestions?
from apyjo :
That last entry was just beautiful , Zoela. Just beautiful.
from apyjo :
That's a funny pic of Bjork !
from argolam :
If that hairdo makes it to Jerusalem, I'll be sure to let you know.
from breezip :
---except not tonight - I'm in North Carolina at the moment. Next month perhaps? :)
from breezip :
totally want to ride w/ critical mass - haven't yet. it's a date!
from ariadne518 :
Ooo, I DID miss you!
from apyjo :
I did !
from breezip :
omg! I didn't see your note til now. Welcome to town!! Email me STAT. We must have the proverbial coffee/tea/adult beverage!
from breezip :
'ata girl! :)
from revisions :
yea!!!!
from breezip :
*sniff*
from coldandgray :
I wish all the best for you.
from revisions :
good grief...i can't believe your going....i will miss you and your independent thinking. i think i owe you an email about judaism though.
from coldandgray :
Woah! I missed something! Why are you leaving? hey Zoela!
from vanoonoo :
*lots of loves*
from casadecosta :
I say take it. But I have no idea of any side effects other than the "desired" effect. If it requires a doctor follow-up it's no big deal because if you had sex w/o a condom you need to get tested anyway. It's too bad you can't wait any longer - lots of people who are late for their menstrual cycle and are worried about pregnancy are actually late because they are so nervous. Good luck~
from coldandgray :
Toughie. I would say don't take it, because it is harsh stuff & there is whole medical follow-up process to it, I think. BUT the slightest chance that you are...well, the risk is pretty big. I would say DON'T take it & then find a plan B if you need to.
from coldandgray :
Today is your 111 entry. Hmmm...
from coldandgray :
It is going to be OK. These things do happen and it is good that you do not want it to happen again. Did you say you have a lump? Please get it checked ASAP.
from coldandgray :
Damn!
from vanoonoo :
wow!
from breezip :
I know you're too busy obsessing about your love/lust drama right now even to think about trifling matters like this--BUT--if you're going to be in the City for New Year's, I have an invitation to give you. Email me if this is intriguing to you, darlin' - [email protected]. :)
from argolam :
Testicles aren�t all they�re cracked up to be, but yeah, it�s nice to have them around. Good luck with the experiment.
from breezip :
You're a relentless tease is what you are. ;)
from apyjo :
Extremely cool diary background ! I love it. * Thinking about you during this time of upheaval*
from vanoonoo :
found you again. xxx
from apyjo :
Dear one, alot of people will get hurt . Doing what feels good comes with a hefty price . The chase, the thrill and the secrecy is no doubt intoxicating . Of course it beats your everyday life which is filled mundane tasks , and annoying habits. I just hope you don't hurt you in this process . Be well.
from coldandgray :
Your feelings are perfectly natural. In the areas that my husband lacks things that I need for my soul, I try to fulfill that from other people, but never letting it threaten what we have. Two weeks will be the true test, I wish you the best.
from ariadne518 :
i neither disrespect nor have trouble understanding "motivations" or whatever. in fact, I'm sure I understand more than I'd like to admit. wish we could go get some wine. We'll talk soon?
from revisions :
read your entry....we should really talk sometime.
from rainforme :
hey there... no judgements at all coming from me, but i'm recommending realthoughts entry called satisfactory love. i hope things work out for the best.
from breezip :
heh heh - I read your note just now. We had a bit of a psychic connect there, I think. ;)
from breezip :
1. I'm terribly intrigued. 2. Don't beat yourself up too much, either for "being bad" or for enjoying it--all of us are capable of this, even if some self-righteously deny it. 3. Are you moving here, or what? :) Sending much love. --Bree
from revisions :
i'd like to talk to you sometime about judaism and monotheism. i surrounded by ignorant fundamentalist christians and need a voice of reason that i hope you can provide. hope you are well.
from krugerpak007 :
Great lunch! ;-))
from revisions :
you doing okay?
from breezip :
meep! meep! where has my zoela gone?
from ariadne518 :
Oh, doi - and I couldn't bring myself to eat Guinea Pig. They're just so darn cute, and there's the whole childhood-pets issue for me too. I did have alpaca steak though. Pretty gross.
from ariadne518 :
Hola chica! Thanks I like the pic too. And I've been having soooo much Feta cheese since we've been home that I'm already working on becoming like my plus-sized American bretheren. Thought of you cause there are Israeli restaurants all over Cuzco - good ones too, with REAL hummus. Imagine that? I asked about what I thought was the oddity of Israeli restaurants in the middle of Peru, and I was told there's a big population of Israeli ex-pats and travelers. If it weren't for the government corruption in Cuzco, it would be like the perfect place to spend two years. xoxox
from apyjo :
Hey, young lady! Another style for your diary, huh- cool beans. Or any other legumes you'd prefer ! I have been writing on so many other things like poetry, as well as doing poetry readings that I have been slow in updating my Diaryland account regularly . I am blogging too. When will I learn that I cannot multi-task ?? Hugs for you .
from breezip :
"Somehow I find it difficult to celebrate explosions and gunfire when we're in the middle of a war." -- THANK YOU! :)
from breezip :
Um...dude! We're hanging out! If you get a minute, email me the dish, okay? [email protected]
from dinahsoar :
I heard that the number one gift for a girl's high school graduation this year was a boob job. How sick is that? I loved your entry describing how strong & confident you have become & how you have grown comfortably into your own skin. You are an inspiration!
from revisions :
i don't know what to say...sorry seems to trite...nevertheless, i apologize for all you are going through.
from revisions :
yeah i know...sometimes i just get carried away with the what ifs...thanks for the vote of confidence.
from argolam :
People still get out of their cars to stand when the siren goes off (even on the freeway!) I don't really know about art related jobs for people with a kacha-kacha Hebrew, sorry, but there are employment agencies that deal with English speakers, so you can contact them. And as far as military duty, it depends on who you are and what's your assignment. I, for example, am lazy and the military didn't ask me to do much, so that worked out well. Some people aren't as lucky as me and some of them end up killing themselves with their M-16� Why, are you thinking about moving to the land of milk and honey? If you have any other question, I'm your man.
from rainforme :
i consider that a compliment. thank you. btw, your photos are brilliant. well done.
from dinahsoar :
I stumbled on your diary through 'revisions'. It is beautiful and personal and intelligent and brave. I loved your photos of Jerusalem and your writings about the state of the world and your desire for utopia. Thank you for this window into your very compelling worldview.
from revisions :
you are right...and that was the decision we came to...we informed one of the adminstrators.
from revisions :
thank you so much for that comment...i hope you know that i deeply admire you...
from breezip :
Oh my god! Your comment on my "unusual" entry cracked. my. shit. up! Thank you!! :)
from breezip :
Hi! I just wanna say I think you're great. AND I love your newest layout - with the black font color, I can actually read your beautiful, vivacious, angry, frustrated, joyous, ecclectic words without squinting and getting a headache! :) Kisses, Bree
from thelatteboy :
Aw, thanks, I appreciate the well wishes :)
from coldandgray :
Aha! Yet again, an amazing template. And yes, I so miss my youth: running around outdoors all day, free and barefoot.
from coldandgray :
Gorgeous template to go with your lovely words. Wow, such nice notes below here. You are special.
from ariadne518 :
sorry to do this so publicly, but I tried emailing you and it bounced again, poo. what I wanted to say was: I don't mean to marginalize what you might be feeling right now, but I think it can be correlated to culture shock - that is, being totally shocked and disgusted that you're not always shocked and disgusted with your OWN culture (here in the west) after you return from a place that you feel makes more sense. It happened really severely to me after I came back from Ghana, which was initially so alien, but then so beautiful to me. I love my family and missed them and blah blah blah, but I was absolutely FREAKING OUT for the month and a half I was back - couldn't write, found it hard to teach, felt like I hated all my friends and they hated me, and almost, I now realize, was trying to sabatoge my relationship with my now-husband. I think after seeing the change in yourself in a new place, and liking it, returning to the memory of it (physically or metaphorically) presents itself as an easy solution to whatever crap storm is going on... I don't want to say it would be a bad idea to run, but think about why you feel that way. Sorry if it's crap advice, I just think I've been there. What do you think? Oh yes, and you have a beautiful soul. Truly, I would miss your writing if you abandonded your diary. wonder if "culture shock" is qualified as a real disease in the DSM IV? xox
from elgac :
I enjoy the quiet observations you have and the beauty you exemlify. I to am an artist and we are moody people release your feelings so they do not run you.
from revisions :
your diary heading reads, "you must be the change you wish to see in the world"...don't give up...
from whereibegin :
You are not alone.
from breezip :
I'm sending you gargantuan hugs. Even if you erase your last entries, I will know that you know why I'm sending them. Sounds like you just need some space and time. I promise you it'll get better. Loads of love. --Bree
from revisions :
ha ha ha....ironically...i just finished a section of church history on the patriach of constantinople...and i've had that song in my head all day...
from coldandgray :
Yes, everyone is mad. Poo.
from ariadne518 :
Oh you so could have crashed - i work in Newark and live just 20 mins from that crapoo airport. Sucks, you guys on our couch would have made for such a funny ass story. I can't wait for the descriptive entries to come :) T
from revisions :
your photos are absolutely inspiring and wonderful - so glad to have met another person with traveling in their genes... also, really enjoy the new layout...
from coldandgray :
Ooh, your new template is so nice. Glad you had such a good trip and hope you get to go back soon.
from breezip :
Welcome back, babe. And thanks for that comment about the ol' inner monologue. You're so very, very sweet. Shalom, bubelah.
from ariadne518 :
GIRL! I tried to email you with some info my Israeli friend told me to tell you, but I have an old email address and it all bounced back to me. I'm sure you're fine and having a ball and all that - if you want the shtuff, though email me; my email address is my real name, then (no spaces) [email protected] love!
from ariadne518 :
OH MY GOD! I am SO DAMN EXCITED for you. Pleeeeezzeee be careful and you'd better tell all when you get home. Have a blast, lovey. xo
from bexx :
just realized that I have been to your page before...sorry
from bexx :
hey I found you through the college radio ring...bored as hell, but yeah you like some good music....-Bexx
from coldandgray :
Well, I am certainly jealous, but less for the sun & more for the trip.
from argolam :
Sorry to say, but I'm not all that jealous. But have a nice trip anyway. Oh, and be sure to go to Caesarea if you have the time. If you�re interested in history it's one of the nicest places to see.
from revisions :
so why the photo link? i have been thinking about doing such myself but am having difficulty assessing my motivations....any thoughts?
from ariadne518 :
PS - there's something to fighting like you mean it; I missed your deleted entries (sigh of relief for you?), but I've been there. I'm just thankful I usually can't compose myself enough to type. hugs and all that.
from ariadne518 :
which picture - the 50's sex ed one? If yes, I copped it from a great book called Pink Think. It's all about retro-lit/media on sexuality. I really think you'd dig it. So how the hell are ya? Are we going to meet up at Machu Picchu or what?
from breezip :
don't be, ok? :)
from coldandgray :
PMS is real. Tomorrow's post is going to be dedicated to that very thing.
from coldandgray :
Thanks for adding me; It makes me feel more motivated to try and do better posts!
from bexx :
Thoughtful and intelligent diary....plus you like good music...found you through the indierock ring....-BeXx
from apyjo :
Loved the pictures !:) What a stunning gal you are ! It's nice to put a face on the diary.
from coldandgray :
No, I think it is just a sign of the cross & that's all it meant. It always felt like it was burning my skin, though, but it was just his cold hands. Love the photos, especially the California ones, because that is where I am from. Also, the artwork is very fine.
from breezip :
Hey...what happened to your last entry? I'm kinda worried about ya. If you want to vent or anything, feel free to email me, okay? My email address is on my index page in a couple places. Much love - Bree
from leftunspoken :
What beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing them. The Coast one with the little low picket fence made my toes curl. And the pretty girl was very toecurl-inducing also. Much love, Marcia
from coldandgray :
Hugs from Seattle. I know how it is to miss those who have gone.
from breezip :
consider y'self loved, my dear :)
from argolam :
Sorry, but I'm not such a big fan of vandalism, and it's a bit too late for me to go out lurking in the night with a can of spray paint. But how about this, why don't you come here, get some debilitating disease that would prevent you from going back home. Then, when I come back for Passover, I'll come and visit you in the hospital! Sure, this plan has its flaws (like the debilitating disease part) but all plans have flaws. So, how about it?
from revisions :
i believe sudan it is!! we are going to try to make it as far north as we can...darfur would be incredible... now where are you going??
from masala- :
I really love your entry about visiting the mosque. I've always liked the concept of separating men and women at church. I've never seen it as a bad thing to be removed from the company of men and to be instead in a room full of women. I actually feel kind of sorry for the men. Heh... But really, the entry was very interesting and beautiful, too.
from breezip :
also, wonderful read about your mosque visit - it's uncanny, 'cause I am, as we speak, working on an entry about going to Catholic mass. Fascinating, no?
from breezip :
Hi, babe - thank you so much for the thoughtful and thorough feedback on my layout. I really liked the Morris Lewis pieces you pointed to; I should have known the art history buff would have a hunch about visually manifesting my words! I've been working on layouts for days, and my html skills are really limiting, but I really wanna do it myself. We shall see how it goes. Kisses, Bree
from revisions :
it's looking that way, isn't it...
from argolam :
I look just like your husband? That's too bad for you. I'm sure you could do better.
from revisions :
yes, amazing right! the lecturer was a university professor and he also spoke against the passion of the christ. i wanted to give him a hug! believe it or not, most of the people i know here in texas voted for kerry, and are attempting to distance themsevles from mainstream american christianity. this, however, is not always the easiest thing to accomplish.
from apyjo :
Sorry I took so long to answer- I am back in school and very busy lately. I can't put my finger on it, but I find the whole persona that you portray interesting and not commonplace. I am a strong proponent of individualism, and I believe you conduct your life in an interesting and creative way .
from breezip :
I really want to meet you some day! That's what I've decided. We can sing Hebrew songs together while sipping rosehip tea! Complain about politics while all the while remaining optimistic about life. Yay! I love you.
from revisions :
"this work on yourself is necessary; this ambition justified. lots of people let themselves be wholly absorbed by militant politics and the preparation for social revolution. rare, much more rare, are they who, in order to prepare for revolution, are willing to make themselves worthy of it." - georges friedmann you have a fascinating diary. keep writing, i'll be back by...
from ariadne518 :
Hey girl - got the tx through orbitz. though travelocity was running the same special, they sold out. AA is the carrier, and they're offering a web-fare of $295. Do the flexible dates thing w/ travelocity and see what you come up with; if it doesn't work, I can give you the flight numbers so that a customer service person can track it to see if they're running similar specials from calif. xoxox!
from argolam :
So you're saying I shouldn't care about being a failure with the opposite sex because I know how to write when I'm drunk? I guess that offers some comfort. Thanks.
from apyjo :
I like your style woman ! :) BTW; daughter and I both avoid whatever 's mainstream. We are always looking for the unusual, the gems that others miss. Well, we do have one popular vice...weekly Starbucks. But we are also tea fanatics. White & green tea are high on our list. I have been ignoring my journal.:( I am back in college ( daughter and I go together 2 times a week), and spending time on another sites. Every now and then I pop in here and see how my fave peeps are doing ! You are an unusual person - I wish you only the best !
from breezip :
You are such a beautiful freak--I'm lovin it!
from argolam :
Franka, you are the light of the world. You have inspired beauty and goodness in every living thing. And because of you, Franka, I can say, environmental issues are a matter of social justice, and social justice is my cup of tea - How's that?
from eatyouryoung :
Hi there. I was checking out Bree's site and I decided that I would check out some of her buddylist's sites. I came across yours and I enjoy it greatly. Also, I two have had two friends who have killed themselves. It is no fun. I just thought I'd drop you a line and say hello. Lovely journal, keep up the good work. I hope to visit you often. Adios.
from breezip :
Hey, Franka - thanks so much for your note. It's amazing the kindness that can be extended from people we've never even met, but from what I know about you through your writings, I'm not at all surprised that you reached out. You're something special. Thank you. --Bree
from breezip :
Nice entry about these dreams. Our lives are so marked by the people we've known. I wouldn't have it any other way.
from argolam :
Shalom to you too. And Shana Tova.
from breezip :
I think you're really special. Happy (late) Chanukah, and a happy and peaceful new year to you, my dear. --Bree
from vanoonoo :
hey girl - hang on in there - dont let the b@stards grind you down x
from ariadne518 :
By the way, happy belated Chanukah. I suck at being on time. xo
from ariadne518 :
Glad to see you had a good day and found some comfort in other rational people like yourself. Sorry to hear about your friend's little brother, I can only imagine how upsetting it was to hear of his death that way. PS Hager is the anti-christ; I'm on a wickedly aggressive campaign to get everyone I know to send letters protesting his appointment. I'm hoping if nothing else, it will make us feel some small ounce of institutional power...
from breezip :
You're such a sweetheart! We're all in this mess together. Ani V'ata nishanei et ha'olam.
from vanoonoo :
thinking of you - don't get so sad - it will get better xxx
from ariadne518 :
I am DEVASTATED. What ARE we going to do? Huddle amongst ourselves in our blue-state masses? I think defecting is a good idea - I've never considered moving out of the country quite so seriously before. I was looking for jobs in Budapest today. Can't say I'd miss the next four years here, except I can't take my family with me. Oh god, I just want to wake up.
from oldjake :
11/03/04Wow, Zo... Hey Zoela! come back home... come back home... we miss you here on Earth!
from ariadne518 :
Hey girl - I feel you. NJ is officially now a "swing state". WTF!!!???? You know, I don't even believe these polls. Hang in there - we'll talk soon. :)
from vanoonoo :
found you!
from breezip :
I'm sick just reading your account of this horribly sad incident. It infuriates me so much that cops are trained to exacerbate violence instead of diffuse it. My god, if you must restrain somebody, fire one bullet into his leg at the very most--don't kill him! Yours in solidarity and cleansing, Bree
from mainsqueeze :
Hullo. I am sorry that you're sick, miss. I am doubly sorry that you saw something so terrible and that the terribleness followed you home. Hope you feel better, physically and otherwise. -Angela
from opalanne :
9/17/04 - Obviously there are a few more than two of us reading you, and I find your journal most interesting. I've added you to my list of favorites.
from ariadne518 :
Hey, finally back! So great to hear about the plans for your next trip...and that you tripped up Rick Steves at that seminar! That's a great story, and I think a great question that he should have had an answer for, but of course didn't. It's funny...when we saw him in Budapest at that marketplace he stuck out - there's something so American about him that he caught my eye. I thought "That guy doesn't fit in here..." and then I saw all the cameras and realized he looked familiar. Great to hear from you :)
from anginthebox :
I've been reading your entries for a few weeks now and they are very intriguing. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you and your husband. I can't believe they just broke in like that!!
from krugerpak007 :
Your husband is so sweet. I can not imagine mine ever ever preparing the shabat meal. EVER. Feel better! xoxo Kathy
from irishblueyes :
Glad to have found you again and that you are once again writing!
from breezip :
I'm sending your forehead lots of healing energy. Yikes, what a night you and HB had; give yourselves time. Lotsa love, Bree
from candoor :
there's a strangeness about you that is appealing, or is that a familiarity... well, I'm smiling, hope you are too :)
from heidiann :
Hi there! Welcome to the Bibliomaniac diaryring! Thanks for joining. =)
from wateryone :
Meep. I don't know -what- that means. I think your new boss should have given you more information! They can't just leave you hanging.
from breezip :
I'm so sorry about the job confusion. You should certainly call them and satisfy your curiosity about what, exactly, this should mean in your life. Sometimes employer-management-types can be terribly inhumane in their decision making and communication styles. Yuck. Also, I vote for Techiya. Sounds like you were leaning toward it, anyway, and it's a beautiful name. However, people might feel obliged to blow a shofar every time your name is mentioned, and that could get old! ; )
from lastyeargirl :
Hooray for jobs - I wish I had one! And happy new diary too, I've just realised I haven't said yet xx
from apyjo :
Hi ! Found you again !
from breezip :
Hey, Zoela! Happy new life and new diary to you. I have your new link up on my index page already. I'm curious: will you keep Franka up indefinitely, or will you be expiring it? So much history--would hate to see it vanish. Lots of love, Bree

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