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comments: "It was decided on New Year's Eve that vegetarian Turducken would be a tofu dog wrapped in Chik'n Patties, stuffed into a Tofurkey. Naturally, it would be called Tofucken."

badsnake profile - diary

comments: "I called in too pretty today. Not me, the day. But you know I *am* pretty."

captvfirefly profile - diary

comments: "I'm slowly trying to break free of my disgusting need to be so damn early all the time. So far it's not working."

genghis-jon profile - diary

comments: "Imagine waiting in line with 200 people who all think they're the most important person there. Listening to these people whine and complain, you'd think we were in line for the gas chamber."

hardrain profile - diary

comments: "Even through all the heart ache I have had with animals, I still want to be a vet with all my heart."

kitchenlogic profile - diary

comments: "I was forced to listen to Celine Dion sing the Titanic theme song. It was either listen to her or risk dying in a firey ball."

la-the-sage profile - diary

comments: "In case you are wondering, I know HOW to clean, Im quite good at it, I just dont like to. I know how to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a Swiss Army knife too, but I dont particularly want to use that skill too often either, you dig?

lisamcc profile - diary

comments: "Addiction is a disease of trite, bogus, and odious platitudes. Really. If I'd known that I'd be trying on various happy-smiley-I'm-OK-you're-OK affirmations every morning, I never would've developed a taste for Scotch."

lorster profile - diary

comments: "Why can't brains, like contact lenses, be removed stored in saline solution during the night? I mean other than the fact that it would scare the shit out of house-guests?"

sixweasels profile - diary

comments: "All I wanted to do when I grew up was be a slacker. Where did I go wrong?"

splorch profile - diary

comments: "The Green Party candidate pissed me off by telling me he fully expected me to toe the party line and go home to have babies (Me: 'Can I stop off and do some race-baiting first? I heard there's a quota.')"

summer-gale profile - diary

comments: "We all die sometime but not all of us die so fortunate .. and if I live .. what a bounty! Life has never been kinder to a soul like me."

trancejen profile - diary

comments: "At some point I found myself dancing wildly on a large platform, shaking my groove thing and giving Paris Hilton a run for her money, and suddenly I heard, 'Dude, there's your dad!'"

weetabix profile - diary

comments: "I'm such a bad role model. Seriously. Kids, don't be like Weetabix. She's trailer trash and spits on pictures of Jesus."

smartypants profile - diary

comments: "Note to the guy with the vanity license plate 'D00B,' and who, just in case people didn't get it, had also decorated his car with dozens of pot-leaf and rainbow-dancing-bear stickers: cops love that stuff. Good call."

heidiann profile - diary

comments: "Im now the proud owner of a painting of Kenny Rogers on velvet! Look at that ugly ass thing and tell me it doesnt belong above my fireplace!"

idiot-milk profile - diary

comments: "All this huggery talk just made me throw up a little in my mouth. I need to go out and kick a homeless person's ass to regain some of my normal cynicism and bitterness."

i-girl profile - diary

comments: "What was the Christ to do? Ill tell you. Cracked open an MGD and watched some football, cause thats how the Christ brings it."

verucaamish profile - diary

comments: "While I was talking about education policies, disagregation of data and health disparities, I wanted to actually talk about how Dean should do a session with the Queer Eye boys."

madamepierce profile - diary

comments: "Taxi, the new Jimmy Fallon vehicle, looks like it will be a crime against humanity. The only Jimmy Fallon vehicle should be a hearse."

shannonk profile - diary

comments: "I wandered down Haight Street on wobbly legs, hoping that I wouldn't pass out, because Haight Street is kind of gross, and all the tourists and hipsters would probably just step right over me, maybe pausing to grab my wallet and cell phone.

lv2write00 profile - diary

comments: "Farewell SALLY'S INTERNAL WOMAN-GIBLETS... we hardly knew ya."

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last updated: 2007-12-01 20:59:51
this user's total entries: 372
user since: 2002-05-15

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