This is confusion. Am I confusing you?

"I like chinese, I like chinese, They only come up to your knees, Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to please. I like chinese, I like chinese, Theres nine hundred million of them in the world today, You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say. I like chinese, I like chinese, They come from a long way overseas, But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please. I like chinese, I like chinese, Their food is guaranteed to please, A fourteen, a seven, a nine and light cheese. I like chinese food, The waiters never are rude, Think of the many things they've done to impress, There's maoism, taoism, I Ching and chess. I like chinese, I like chinese, I like their tiny little trees, Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze. I like chinese thought, The wisdom that Confucious taught, If Darwin is anything to shout about, The chinese will survive us all without any doubt. I like chinese, I like chinese, They only come up to your knees, Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please. So, I like chinese."

And I like Monty Python.

What else? Welllll, my name is Stuart, twenty six years old physically, mentally is a different story... I am a man trapped in a man's body. apparently I have a, and I quote "gorgeous, sexy, luuurverly" accent. Er, quite. I work for a company which gets quite enough publicity wihout me advertising them further (aye, right) as a Shift Running Manager, basically I boss people around, do less work than them and get paid more for it. Hell, it's a living... I'm single just now, since my ex left me, taking my son with her, when I look at a woman I find it hard to see past the evil. (Thanks to Ted the lawyer for that thought)

I also have an extremely unhealthy and often costly devotion to the following things: Adam Paterson (the fruit of my loins and the only worthwhile thing I've done in 26 years), Aberdeen FC, AFC Wimbledon (NOTE: NOT Milton Keynes Frankenstein FC), Ooberman, buying CDs, drinking vast quantities of lager, eating all the pies, smoking, gambling (clean living is for hippies), constantly changing this profile, 80s cartoons (especially the magnificent Henry's Cat!), Neighbours (the TV show of course, all my real neighbours seem to be either gypsies, tramps or thieves) putting things in brackets (see?), Emmerdale, bitching about ignorant people I have to serve in McDonalds, Ant and Dec, the Minardi Formula 1 team, Scrubs, pretending to be Liam Gallagher, WWE wrestling (You can't see me!!), skiving off whatever I should be doing, director's commentaries on DVDs, Sudoku, prawn cocktail flavour crisps, falling for people I can't have, Calvin & Hobbes, Diaryland and the Sunday night pub quiz. Not to mention spitting on the 250 word limit.

Remember: Make hay not war, or else we're done for....

My favorite diaries:

stuthesheep profile - diary
comments: Yes, I know, incredibly egotistical. So what you gonna do about it?
catz-eyes profile - diary
bitterwineuk profile - diary
nudeplatypus profile - diary
inkysoso profile - diary
badbadzoot profile - diary

My favorite music:

The Killers
comments: One of the few bands of the last couple of years I've got really into (maybe I'm getting old!) The Libertines? Razorlight? Puh-lease!! "Glamorous indie rock n roll for me"
comments: Kinda fell out with them, but Around the Sun is the best album they've put out for at least 10 years. Superb. "It's easier to leave than to be left behind"
The Coral
comments: OK, the last album wasn't spectacular. but any band that has given the world songs like Dreaming Of You and Pass It On must be loved "I still need you but I don't want you now"
comments: God gave them soul...Soundtrack of a generation, nothing less. "I need to be myself, I can't be no-one else"
comments: "Music is my world" Other bands I love: Manics, Ash, Muse, Idlewild, ESP, SFA, New Order, BRMC, Strokes, MHS, Divine Comedy, Starsailor, Feeder, Clash, Wilt, Joy Division, Elastica, Weezer, Blur, JJ72, early Phonics, Hives, Franz

My favorite movies:

comments: The film and cartoon were the backdrop to most of my youth. And Pete still cracks me up. But Ray was always my favourite. I like Dan Ackroyd. Incidentally Dragnet is another of my favourites. Despite the prescence of Tom Hanks.
The Shining
comments: It's that rare thing when a film version is better than the book. It gave me serious nightmares the first time I saw it - to be fair I was about nine!
Indiana Jones
comments: Dum da-da-da, dum da da. Dum da-da-da, dum de-da-da etc...
Shaun of the Dead
comments: The story of one man's quest to get to his local pub no matter what. And it's got zombies, which is always a plus "And dogs CAN look up"
Police Academy
comments: This is 1-7 inclusive. I just think they're brilliant. And I'm NOT joking.

My favorite authors:

Stephen King
comments: The Stand is one of the few books that has completely captivated me from beginning to end
Ian Rankin
comments: Inspector Rebus. Genuine Scottish hero. Just ignore the rotten TV version - John Hannah is crap!
Grant Naylor
comments: They gave the world Red Dwarf - which is the best comedy show that isn't set in a bar in Boston in history
Nick Hornby
comments: Fever Pitch almost makes me wish I supported a football team that won games, let alone titles, on a regular basis. The film was shit though.
The Emmerdale writers
comments: Heroes - every one. Every episode is top notch drama. When I grow up I want to be Mathew King!

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last updated: 2006-12-31 23:59:35
this user's total entries: 313
user since: 2001-04-21

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