Here is a list of sera1231's favourite diary entries by other members:

the illustrious history of the goober pea by smartypants comment:   I also keep seeing people with these NO WAR IN IRAQ buttons on their clothing, and I want to say, yes, no war in Iraq. Did you not get the memo? really good at little by minderella comment:   i would also be terrible at parenting, but i think we all know that. since 98% of my problems can be resolved or at least calmed by smoking, i just don't know what i would do if confronted by a five year old with a dilemma. "mommy understands, pumpkin. have a smoke." For whom the bell. by syncope comment:   ...Every time I sneeze I scream in pain and it sounds like �Ach-DEARGODFUCKME.� I called my dad to ask him to bring some Zyrtec home, and he asked me what was wrong. I told him I couldn�t sneeze without asking a deity to have sex with me. He thought that was funny. He thinks anything about sex is funny. Sex and boogers. I have a 14-year-old for a father. A Day in the Life of the Unemployed by morganzola comment:   12:36am: Okay, my smoke detector works. 12:37am: But I think my neighbor is pissed. operation ivy - "room without a window" by screamingemu comment:   Spent the afternoon becoming keenly aware of having a body, something I seem to ordinarily only do while in ballet classes or someone else's bed - all three of which are things I (and probably most people) aren't involved in nearly enough. Fuck you with the happy and the being in love bullshit. by idiot-milk comment:   I'm probably going to die ALONE surrounded by cats, having earned the reputation as the bitter old cat woman who throws rocks at children and when I die no one is going to find me forEVER because I won't have any friends left or anyone who cares and when they DO find me my cats will have started to EAT me because that's what happens to LONELY OLD BITCHY WOMEN WHO THROW ROCKS AT CHILDREN AND HAVE A MILLION CATS! Countdown to slothery! by idiot-milk comment:   And it would really help if I were having sex with someone right now. Not because I want to have sex, you see, but because without someone other than myself hanging out in my room on a regular basis, my room tends to turn into a vile pit of filth and clutter. It's like when you're not sleeping with someone, and you stop being so vigilant about the whole leg shaving thing. If there isn't anyone else to see it, who cares, right? It's gotten to the point where I've cleared a path from my bed to the door, and the rest of the floor is covered in clothing, books, and toys. A five year old has a neater room than I do. I can keep communal living spaces free of my clutter, but my own personal space is a breeding ground for mess. I don't honestly know how it happens. One day it's neat, the next day it's a disaster. I think the turtles are throwing my stuff around when I'm not here. Probably mad at me because I won't pay for those salsa lessons they want. Fucking spoiled brats. Boycotting by sixweasels comment:   I live in Computer Fucking City. And it makes me want to scream and beat my head against my desk until all I can do is mumble like Ozzy Osbourne. Pussywhipped. It ain't just for the guys anymore by marn comment:   Now you might think that a creature that small would be easy to ignore, but if you did, you would be very, very wrong. This cat is capable of serious decibels. And it's not the volume of it alone, it's the cadence. She yowls a sort of aria, which I think of as the "Marn's Inhumanity To Cat Song". You really can't appreciate how this song can get on your very last nerve until you've heard it looping for a few minutes. It's Getting Hot in Here. by morganzola comment:   Never mind � what�s with the �tha�? How is this an accepted colloquial misspelling? I can get behind �phat� or �stoopid,� in the spirit of, you know, funky freshness. But �the� is an article! Can�t we leave the articles alone? The articles, unlike the words �fat� or �stupid,� never did anything to us! Life as a movie by slaseniye comment:   I think life is like the movies. Some of us are just supporting actresses, you know, the one in the background who doesn't get the attention and doesn't get the guy, but they're there just the same. They don't get asked on a date, they get asked if their friend would want to go on a date. They get the bad haircut for comedic relief, they go through the bad breakup to give advice to the heroine. And when the right time comes, and the music swells, the supporting actress fades into the background, without a thought of where her destiny will take her. They may not live happily ever after, but that's not the point of the movie. They served their purpose and moved on their way. My Cervix is Cooler Than Your Cervix by nudetwister comment:   Apart from the school related stress, job searching, and my fucking hormones going into overdrive everytime I see a cute baby (Them: "Breed!" Me: "Fuck off." Them: "Fine. Mother your housemates then."), everything's peachy. McFly by kinetix comment:   That part about Marty changing history and stumbling into a twisted Oedipus nightmare isn�t really important, though. The important part, which forms the basis of mine and Jen�s new theory, is the part where you run someone over, nurse him back to health, and he falls in love with you. We figured that the best place to try to put this theory out into practice was out on the perimeter road, where people jog all the time. The curbs are low, and the runners are right there, and most of them are hot looking young college guys. Some of them are old and less attractive, but you wouldn�t want to McFly those guys, anyway. We tried to explain our new strategy to Tiff, and she thought we were morbid. The Winner of the All Time Best Ever First Date Award by valueape comment:   It's sometimes tempting, if you're particularly itchingly single, to kind of get drawn into the ad that's the closest to what you'd be looking for and respond to it, rather than realizing "just because this particular pile of sand is the most appetizing out of these 800 piles of sand does not mean I should eat a pile of sand". Apocalypse Now coming to a rural community near you by marn comment:   So yeah, I don't have problems with the marijuana and if I was Marn Queen of the World I'd decriminalize it, but with a caveat. If you are enough of a festering half wit to operate any machinery more complicated than a toaster while stoned, I want the courts to bitch slap you so hard that not only you but anyone who even vaguely looks like you never, ever does it again. What's up, doc? by halfsorry comment:   I still say it's not sport until you give the animals weapons of destruction to fight back with. That's something I'd pay to see. Something I'd even wear a big one-fingered styrofoam hand, do the wave and sit in stands to cheer for. Give the deer guns and see how much the hunters like it then C'mon, baby, make a move on me. by halfsorry comment:   Standing on the bed and jutting out one hip, I would sing "You're The One That I Want" line for line, word for word. At the moment in the song and the moment in the movie where Sandy would jump down from the ferris wheel (or wherever in the hell she was coming from), I would jump down from the bed. Over and over. men shwen...and Joanne too! by echobaby comment:   I have been told that men want a girl who is bright, funny, sexy, athletic, smart, genuine, financially secure, a sex addict and adventurous. They also want a girl with big tits and a body like Pamela Anderson. ... Does he plan on using all this shit all at once, or will he start picking out traits to love after the first bang? Beautiful Glass by cockywrds comment:   He took a disabled shuttle van to pick up his medication yesterday. He went to the young woman pharmacist and said, "My wife recently changed her residence to Heaven...I was wondering if you could help me find a few things." (I smiled with joy when he told the story to me. But I broke down in tears as I wrote it here.) platypus ragout by smartypants comment:   "Fisher-Price Little People totally rocked. No one will admit to this online, but a main reason why they didn't have arms and legs is that, if swallowed, they could make their way fairly safely through a child's digestive system. I always enjoyed the fact that, since the entire Little People family were all the same size and shape, the dog could drive the car. In fact, the dog always drove when I played with them."

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