messages to grapecloud:
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from cloudy-night :
I don't think you should give up on your meetup group, especially since you seemed to like it and got something out of it. I wouldn't worry too much about the post office comment, you're entitled to your opinion and the guy who started the debate was entitled to his. I felt like he low-balled you with the comment, but you wasn't expecting a debate to occur over your comment. Sometimes, we all feel like we are being isolated and pushed away. Sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's in our heads. You have a lot going on and if they hold it against you, then that's on them. I thought meetup was about forming bonds and going to meetings when you can. I always thought that was the rule, but clearly it isn't. I don't know what to say at the moment, I've been thinking about some things and my head is aching. I will say this, just keep moving forward and don't ever let anyone have power over you. You're a smart and strong person, don't let anyone's actions make you feel otherwise.
from cloudy-night :
Hey Duck, I'm glad that you're trying to be more spontaneous, that is awesome! Love is important to everyone, you just happen to say it matters to you rather than keep inside like a lot of people. I hope that things work out with you and that guy you mentioned. I'm also happy to hear that you're still in school. I truly hope the knitting does well and that the costume turns out great. I've only seen one episode of Parks & Recreation - it was the pilot episode that I downloaded onto my xbox. But I watched it a few times and I thought that it was funny.
from cloudy-night :
Hey Duck, I hope that you're out of your rut now. Things are going to get better and it's obvious that you're moving forward - even if you stumble once in a while, it's fine. We all tend to trip up and it's always good to stumble - it's like a wake up call that reminds us to keep going.
from cloudy-night :
Hey Duck! I think it's awesome that you have a "thankful" list. It's always a great thing to realize that there are as many things to be thankful for as there is crap going on in our lives. I'm sure you'll be able to pay off your debts soon, so don't be too hard on yourself about it. So Sousuke is still giving you grief, eh? Why can't you find another job, is it hour constrictions or the economy in general? I don't think people at your jobs are taking sides, you don't have to isolate yourself because your co-workers are friends with him, you can be friends with them if you want - it is after all, a free country. I hope that things get better for you with each passing day. Things always get better if you believe they will, always have faith in yourself despite the situation. It's those dire times that push us to our limits and mold our characters. Later Duck!
from cloudy-night :
What's with the password?
from cloudy-night :
Hey Duck, sorry that you seem to have such a horrible time at work. Sorry that you're always overlooked by your friends. I'm sorry that you feel like there's nothing worth living for at the moment. I may not be there physically, but I am your friend. I mean, you can always email me if you want to blow off some steam. Right now, I don't have any advice to offer up because at times, I felt similar. But I always tell myself things will get better and that there is a reason that I am going through this.
from cloudy-night :
You know what I've learned about looking back? It never does any good, either you long for the past or you regret it. You are still around Duck, so get up and move forward. You're an awesome person and you have so much potential. Don't focus on what should have or could have or would have been - it won't do any good. You should just make a decision and go for it! Either it will turn out good or bad, but the thing is - you did it and you'll remember and you'll grow from it. Now I can get off this soapbox. I think that it's cool that you're getting back into your music, if you ever have a concert, let me know and I'll try to make it. I wish there we anime conventions around here - seems like I missed a Naruto one a few months ago. I truly hope 2012 is your year! Later Duck!
from fan4 :
I also haven't read diaries in awhile. Thanks for the note. I just finished posting my poem in my blog. If you need the podcast info. again, look at the previous entry.
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry about your dad. I really hope that he will be okay. I'm also sorry to hear that things are really hard for you lately. I understand the situation that you're in concerning your friends, I'm in the same predicament. It may be hard to accept, but sometimes, friends outgrow each other. They grow apart because life change or the things they want in life change. However, it doesn't mean it will always be that way. Did I congratulate you for graduating from college, if not, CONGRATS!!! I know it's hard to find a job in music right now, but maybe you can become a music teacher or something, but if that isn't what you want, then you can always do something else. You're young and there are so many doors open to you, you just have to walk through them. I really hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and I'm waiting for you to send me more of your stories. And when I get a new phone, I'll let you know how the new number thing goes. Thanks for your note Duck, I always appreciate them. :)
from dirtyboots :
Hi. I just clicked on your diary randomly, and read some entries. I see that you're having trouble trying to find jobs, and that you did music at university. I did music too, and ended up going back to university to do another totally different degree which I'm doing now - town planning. It's probably a good idea to do an extra degree but it doesn't close off the music avenue. Good luck, champ. I will check in again.
from cloudy-night :
I don't think it's weird, but don't doubt yourself. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't see how great a person you are!
from cloudy-night :
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so badly Duck. I have a hole in my heart as well and I have no idea how to the feel the emptiness. But I believe you will find people who will listen to you, who will call you, who will always worry about you. I believe you will meet people who will never abuse, misuse, or mistreat you. You are a great person and sometimes you may be overlooked, but it's not a big deal. Eventually, you will meet all the right people. Eventually everything in your life will get better. I think that volunteering is an excellent idea! Whenever you help someone, you learn something new about the world, about people, and especially about yourself. I also believe that your grandmother is watching over you and she wants you to be happy. So, don't give up! Keep moving because if you slow down, that means eventually you'll stop altogether. I also hope that you, R, and Sousuke figure everything out. To be honest, I'm doing the same thing that they are to a friend of mine and I realize just how uncool it is, but now I'm ashamed to apologize to that person, but I'm going to now. I see how it's hurting you and I would never want to cause my friend any pain like that. Hope that the writing club work out and I hope that you find happiness, later Duck!
from cloudy-night :
You know, if you want to do something, do it. You don't need anyone with you to do what you want to do. Companionship is definitely nice, but if you go to a comic book store and you see someone reading the kind of manga you like, go up to that person and comment on it. Ask questions, small talk usually leads to meaningful talk. Don't sell yourself short! Also, don't become too discouraged about the lack of support you seem to receive. If you love what you do, then it shouldn't matter who's around. I will always support you, even if it's not in a physical manner. I'm almost finished with Hazel and Duane and it's awesome, you have writing chops and you shouldn't give up on it. As long as you and your co-founder attend the meetings, that's all you need. But if you want my advice, I think you should find a message board and post up where the writing group is and when they meet. Encourage people to come and eventually someone will. Don't give up on anything, do what you want because you want to.
from cloudy-night :
You should never slack off when it comes to your music, it's one of the things you love! Also, I think it would be better to go out and meet someone. I'm not saying that online dating isn't good, but people aren't usually honest on those sites. If you see a guy and want to talk to him, just do so if you want. Hope everything else is fine Duck!
from cloudy-night :
I sincerely hope that you come out the rut you are in as well. As far as Fakir is concerned, you're better off. You're a great person and if he can't see that, it's his problem. Also, email me once in a while, you are barely on here anymore. Later Duck!
from cloudy-night :
I must have been under a rock? What happened with Fakir? What happened with R and Mrs. Black, don't tell me it had something to do with twilight! I hope that you find what you're looking for, I know it's hard at times, but when it comes - you'll be ready.
from cloudy-night :
Don't get discouraged! Fakir may be interested in you and don't ever think that way about yourself and relationships. I mean, we like what we like and despite what you may think, you deserve better than what you aim for. So the guy on FB that was giving you advice likes you eh? I understand that you feel weird, but don't disregard his intentions. He must like you a lot because he was trying to give you good advice regarding Fakir despite that he was interested in you. I don't know the whole story, but the advice he gave you seem like pretty good advice. He wants you to be happy with someone even if it isn't him, that prime. As far as the school loans go, can you get a forbearance? Or would just rather pay them off now? You should see if you can get resonable payments until you find another job that's full-time and has benefits and the whole nine. I hope that you feel better, I was sick recently too and it can be a bitch when you have to work. I haven't watch the shows yet, but I will get to them. Talk to you later Duck!
from cloudy-night :
I think that it's nice that Fakir brings out all these things in you and that you very aware of them. I really like the story of how his name came to be Fakir, it's very cute. I still haven't seen that anime or did I? Anyway, I think that friendships always lead to romance. So be patient and I'm sure that things will work out between you two. It's so obvious that what you feel for him is way different than what you felt for Bunny. Also, thanks for the emails, I was happy to hear from you.
from fan4 :
Thanks for congratulating me. Yes, I do read some fanfics over at fanfiction.net. I've also submitted some of my own work over there.
from fan4 :
I read some of your 2010 entries, and in April you chatted with a guy (Mike Alike) who looked like your crush Fakir. Things didn't go well, and you appeared to blame yourself. Truth is though, you did nothing wrong. Whole thing was a reflection of the guy, not you. You also forgot that Mike Alike and Fakir are two seperate people. In the entry you didn't think you had any chance at all with Fakir, just 'cause things didn't go well with Mike Alike.
from fan4 :
If your "Mr. Right" turns out to be someone who judges you, he was never "Mr. Right" in the first place. I didn't do any dating 'til this year, and I'm 29. My now bf Matt didn't give me a hard time 'bout that. Had to go through some disappointments though (guys turning into jerks, or being too busy to meet me one time) before meeting him. Sorry that one woman chose not to help with your your costume. That sucks.
from rs-forever :
Infact, take my word for it.
from rs-forever :
I am with a very intelligent, handsome man who was 25 when we first met and had never dated before because he waited for the right person. I can say with so much pride and happiness, that I was somebody worth waiting for, and never judge him but only respect him for having waited. So don't worry, the waiting will be well worth it :)
from musicman6724 :
Just wanted to let you know I'm back and trying to write again. I've actually been on here three times this week. So I'm reading again. Take care. Jeff
from cloudy-night :
Sorry it has taken so long to reply. I did read your entry last week. I hope that your grandmother will be okay. It's good that she has the support of her family when she needs it the most. I'm also happy to hear that you're well. To bad about Boston, but the Cardinals haven't been doing well lately and the Pirates never do well, but I cheer them on anyway. Wow, you have two Gibsons and a Fender, that's damn cool. My guitar isn't anything special and it's electric. The thing is, it's harder for me to learn with this guitar because it's right-handed and I'm a lefty. Still, it would be cool to learn who to play with each hand. Also, I'm quite fond of Fenders, but Gibsons are awesome. I'm sorry, I couldn't keep up with the guitar lingo, I received mine for x-mas (after months of hinting). Also, it's truly a beginners guitar. it's like a 3/4, but I'm thinking about heading to a pawn shop or Guitar Center and buying a full-size lefty. I'm happy to see that you posted something, I thought that you just left D-Land for good. You have my email, drop me a line, okay? Later.
from cloudy-night :
First off, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I hope that everything goes well. I am also sorry to hear that you won't be graduating this month. I was wondering why you haven't updated about it and now I know. That's okay though, you will still get it done and you're right, you won't have to worry about any student loan payments for a while. Regardless of how you feel, your mom loved you and she doesn't bare any ill-will about how you felt. Don't beat yourself up over it and I'm sorry that mother's day is always a constant reminder. You shouldn't worry about a boyfriend because you're a great person and any guy will be lucky to have you in their life. I'm not a strong believer in fate, but I do acknowledge that it exist. You situation just happen to be one of fate, things occur in do time. Oh yeah, if you ever get the chance, go to: www.onemanga.com and check out a few manga, that will save you a few minutes at Barnes and Noble. Oh yeah and don't worry about the files, I've heard your concert and it sounded pretty awesome! I was listening to it on my zune. Oh yeah, "Fly Me To The Moon" is a great song. It's strange, never would have figured you for a jazz lover. That's what I get for assuming, right? Oh and I agree, happiness is super fleeting! Thanks, I decided to brighten my page up a bit and yes, the language is Japanese. Thanks for the note and I know you're around. Take care and I hope to hear from you soon. Good luck working full-time, you'll get use to it!
from fan4 :
I don't help out in schools. I help out at my Church.
from fan4 :
Library Pages shelf books, restock supplies, clean the library, move books around, etc.
from cloudy-night :
I always wonder how you are! I'm sorry that your recital didn't go as you planned. I downloaded your files and tried to play them, but it wouldn't work for me. So, now I'm trying to reconfigure the files, which isn't hard, I've just been lazy. I was just going to ask you if there was another way I could hear your recital, but you're a ghost here. I'm also sorry to here about R, sometimes friends have to take a break from one another to grow to appreciate what they have. Hopefully that's the case with the two of you. Also, just because school is ending doesn't mean you still can't hang out with Fakir and become friends, maybe it will occur naturally after school is done. I wish that I could attend some anime conventions here, but there aren't any close by. I really hope that everything is alright and I'm really happy that the storm didn't affect your home. Also, if you want, you can email me your recital. Let me know, later Quack Quack ;)
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for the note and it was my fault you couldn't read any previous entries, DL was on the fritz and it copied the same entry several times. I'm going to make sure that I check out your recital pieces. I have a friend on here whose a great composer, his name is Minstrelite. He's composing an Opera, you should talk to him, he may be able to give you tips in the future!
from cloudy-night :
I don't really watch the news, so I had no idea that some of the areas near you were flooded. I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're not affected by it. I'm going to make sure that I download your recital, I bet it's awesome. Good luck with the homework assignment!
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry that your recital didn't work out the way you planned. I still think it was more of a sucess than what you give it credit for. I'm sorry to hear that R, Fakir, and some of your other friends missed your performance. I really dislike when people promise to make an appearance and then fail to do so. It's a hard pill to swallow, but maybe they aren't the greatest friends in the first place. However, I don't know the circumstances. So you have to convert all the media into dvd format from your dad's umb's ( I think that's what they call those mini dvd's, not sure though)? I'm sorry the the tech stuff didn't work out that well, but I hope that you post the performance online so I can check it out, that would be awesome. Hope you enjoy your spring break!
from cloudy-night :
So your recital is today, good luck! I know it will go extremely well!
from rs-forever :
You do miss out on so much while in school. But it gives you an ability to make good decisions (at the least) and this is very valuable! I see Fakir's band on FB but.. where is the Mr. F? :)
from fan4 :
I can't expect my friends to have the same exact interests as me.
from fan4 :
I'm sorry.
from fan4 :
I used to be a Wheel fan, but eventually Pat Sajak annoyed me. I like other gameshow hosts better than him.
from fan4 :
Hollywood Squares was a fun show. I wish you had seen it.
from fan4 :
You're a either a 90s child (or born in the late 80s) if you associate Hollywood Squares with Tom Bergeron, Whoopi Goldberg, and Bruce Villanch. (Sorry, I'm obsessed about the HS revivals for some reason.) Originally, I was going to post all the 80s child lists in my blog, but then I realized that if I did, it would take me forever to bold the stuff I remember.
from fan4 :
I either watched the Davidson era of Hollywood Squares in the late 80s when it originally aired, or the early 90s when USA Network re-aired the episodes.
from fan4 :
I'll turn 29 on March 3rd.
from fan4 :
I was born in 1981.
from cloudy-night :
Ah, I'm happy to see that you went out and had a good time. I think Bunny is digging you and that's why he's acting strange. He probably wants to ask you out or something, but that's just my take on it. It's not gospel truth or anything. I'm happy to hear that you're coming out of your shell and I think that it's cool to open up to people. I would also like to see Fakir's band play and don't worry, you'll get to talk to him next time!
from fan4 :
That stone seems to show up in multiple places. I want to see an episode of Greek online. I've heard Amber Stevens inherited the "acting bug" from her dad.
from abetterme33 :
it would be aewsome if you could post links to some of those bands!
from fan4 :
I had lots and lots of stress when attending the UW. I had at least one moment where I was afraid I wouldn't be able to graduate. As much as I'd like to control everything around me, I can't. If you need to curse to alleviate some of your stress, don't let me stop you. If you did that in every single entry, then there'd really be a problem. There's no Adult Swim in my house.
from fan4 :
It's too bad that R isn't a good friend. Things must be seriously bad between the pair of you, since you cursed a lot when talking 'bout the slumber party. (I don't curse, and feel uncomfortable when reading such language.)
from fan4 :
Your recital's on my birthday.
from fan4 :
Your guitar teacher sounds very nice.
from fan4 :
What's FMA?
from cloudy-night :
What, I think Ed is the coolest character! Scar is second, I really hated it when Hughes died though, it was sad. However, brotherhood is directly from the manga and there are only a few episodes that made me teary-eyed. Also, I'm happy that the mask is coming off a bit. I'm really happy to hear that!
from cloudy-night :
Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot. I really think you should give him a v-day card, it's better to go all out than to wonder. So who was the guitar player you idolized? I don't think that you have to be like her, just have the passion that she has. If you work hard and carry the same passion, then you're there. Shine on!
from cloudy-night :
You'll graduate! Cheer up, things will get better. We all have our days. I'm sorry that your classmates fail to acknowledge you. I hope your feelings aren't hurt too badly, it must be rough. Just be patient, I hope the jury went well. Also, I bet you'll get a cool job. You may compose music for films or something greater, have faith Rukia!
from illusionless :
Hello, I found you through Cloudy-Nights note page. I read that you have a friend who is legally blind. I am personally legally blind as well. Have been since birth. If you need some ideas on what you and your friend could do together let me know. I don't know this person or your friends situation obvisously, but if you ever wanna talk or have any questions about visual impairment let me know.
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for your note. My sister is fine and so am I. I think you're right about my friend, maybe I should just keep supporting him until he gains to courage to change things. So your friend is legally blind? Sorry to hear that, but I think it's so cool that you two always find something to do despite how stale things seem at the time. However, it's not just that things are stale between me and my friend, I just enjoy being alone a lot which is so weird. I need to break away from that because how can I grow to understand anyone when I observe from afar? I forgot to say something in my previous note. I really hope that your recital goes well and despite your feelings about being an under achiever, you can still make this recital great! Go out with a BANG, okay? ... :)
from cloudy-night :
Nice poem, it felt complete. I agree with you, love and food isn't something we should ever hunger for, but the thing is that we do. Love is a hard thing to define and/or to explain. People look for love to fulfill a certain need I guess. As for you and Fakir, you should just be bold and ask him out! I know that's not a good idea, especially coming from someone as timid as myself when it comes to relationships. But, if you like him that much, you should at least let him know. Also, I hope that you reach your ideal image and get to style your bikini and belly piercing. Later Rukia! :)
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for your note and it's true, you can be inspirational! Do I really sound like a shounen character? LOL, I guess I'll take it as a compliment. Later.
from cloudy-night :
I know it's hard to think back on what you could have done differently. But you know what, you're still breathing and you can always become the person you wanted to be. You just have to go for it! You can talk to all the students in your class, friendship doesn't have a time restriction. You can improve as a guitarist and composer, hard work never goes out of fashion. Self-improvement is something that we should strive for regardless of circumstances. You can be friends with Bunny, I don't thnk you've villified him. You said that he rejected you and it hurt your feelings. So I can understand there being some bad blood between you two. But it's just like what you said, he had no idea how you felt and was blown back by it. I bet if you go to him and try to extend your hand to offer friendship, it won't be knocked down. You shouldn't go on about feeling indifferent because it doesn't sound true to me. You care and you're concerned and similar to me, you're just afraid to act on your feelings. If you're anything like me, you stay away from people because you worry about what they may think or you don't feel like you belong at all. This is the final stretch, is it not? So shine Rukia, flourish and let go of the idea of being a little duckling, you're much more than that! I hope you see it one day.
from cloudy-night :
No, she didn't read it. I don't talk to her anymore so it's not a big deal. I just don't like to talk about people. I truly hope that our generation will not make the same mistakes as those before us, so you're not alone in that.
from rs-forever :
Kitty is my cat's name. He is a male cat, and the name is girly, but it is the only name he responds to. Saya means shadow in Hindi/Urdu? Do you have a South Asian connection? Some unsolicited advise: boys who are the center of attention, or want to be the center of attention are jerks. Say if Mr Fakir and you did get together, he would eventually break your heart. The person you want to be with is quiet, thoughtful and observant - like you are. He is hard to notice, but if you look for him, you will find him :)
from cloudy-night :
Hell, I hate Twilight too! I read the books and thought they were okay, but how much more can I take? I hope that everything work out between you two. When you're friends with someone, you have to accept them for who they are and vice-versa. If you can't, then you weren't friends in the first place. So dig deep before you decide to end it.
from cloudy-night :
Wow. Nice, long entry! Why does your father wait until x-mas eve to shop? Is it because he's too busy to do anything before then? I really hope that your piece turns out the way you want it to. I don't think you focus on being accepted by your peers, I think if you try your hardest, you'll prove something to yourself. I bet that you're a kick-ass composer, don't abate your worth! I don't the situation with your friend R, but maybe it's something bothering her and that may be why she's acting the way she is. I'm sorry to hear that your friend Mrs. Black is leaving, don't be sad though - you'll see her again! I hope that you get to talk to F and it turns out the way it did in your dream! If he ever got to see the real you, he'd regret that he didn't do so earlier.
from rs-forever :
No Rukia, your Mom would not be mad at you. They say the dead watch over us, but never angrily. They only want to make sure we are OK. I will watch FMF this weekend.. I hope I understand the English, they speak rather quickly in the trailers. The dream about the staircase is probably because you don't know where you will be going or what you will be doing after you graduate. Have you considered going to grad school? Do you and Mr Fakir hang out sometimes?
from sunflowerowl :
aww, i love your notes and your entries. meow is my bf jim's cat. she is so silly. i love cats so much. :) so how do you like your sony camera? i hear sony is really good.
from sunflowerowl :
aww, i love your notes and your entries. meow is my bf jim's cat. she is so silly. i love cats so much. :) so how do you like your sony camera? i hear sony is really good.
from cloudy-night :
Thanks for the note and I think you're right. It's time to re-evaluate the situation. I think you're right about the guy who was giving you grief, why would you want to be with someone like that? What he said seems selfish, maybe he wants to be with you more or maybe he's just a jerk. So you fear rejection as well, me too. I guess that everyone is a bit afraid of getting shot down, good to know I'm not alone. But remember that it's good to keep in contact with people during this time in your life. So before you graduate, get his email address, become his friend on facebook, something, okay?
from cloudy-night :
You're so worried about what's going to happen after school ends and that's natural. When one chapter in our life ends, we tend to focus on the unknown. You will figure it out. That dream was pretty strange and it may mean something and it may not. Did you remember the phone number? Maybe you should call it and see who picks up. Sorry to hear about you mom's death. She probably doesn't think any less of you for not visiting her or some of the things you said. She's probably more concerned about your happiness. Glad to hear that Sunday went well and why don't you talk to this guy that you're interested in? Also, I don't think what you said was creepy. Hope you enjoyed your turkey day!
from cloudy-night :
Your poem was very sweet. I think that maybe, just maybe it was about the guy you like in class or possibly about your friend who doesn't won't to talk to you anymore? Did you ever talk to him? Life's about chances and you shouldn't cheat yourself. Also, thank you for your kind words. I wrote my father a letter and I plan to send it off Monday, but that's all I can do. Hopefully you and your friend will patch things up, it's hard to severe a bond with someone you've known your whole life. Take care!
from sunflowerowl :
school has been crazy for me also. i took a little break from diaryland because of school and personal reasons too, but i'm back now and happy to be reading everyone's diaries. keep writing poetry! you're really good!
from sunflowerowl :
i really liked your poem. ♥
from cloudy-night :
Welcome to my world. It seems that every-time there's a group activity in class, people avoid me and anywhere else too. Don't fret though, people don't take time out to consider what may offend others and it may come off as excuse. However, I consider it an axiom. I had a friend like that too. Someone I use to be able to depend on, but due to a change in life, isolated me from it. I put forth a lot of effort to try to keep it going and it was one-sided. Yet I tried to his dying day, only to realize that we were still as close as we always had been - things just happened and we had to seperate to do our own things. Talk to her and express your feelings, it may help you form a new relationship that is similar, but different.
from fan4 :
The stars (in the public entries box) are part of a spam system. If you ever come across a spam diary, click on the star.
from cloudy-night :
I'm happy to hear that things are going sort of well. Things can only get better. What is Tabusa about? Later.
from cloudy-night :
No worry about the replies, it's good. I really liked FMA and I catch myself watching it over and over. Brotherhood is just do good, too bad you're not into subs, you could just go online and look at them. I liked the third Bleach movie, it was great! I enjoyed it a lot. Too bad about the Red Sox, maybe they'll make it to division next season. Did you enjoy the game or did it get rained out. On the other hand, the Cardinals made it - BOOYA! It's good to represent where you're from, so I love the cards, here's hoping they face the Yanks or Philly in the Word Series.
from cloudy-night :
Enjoy your birthday and just for you, Go Red Sox. I'm a Cardinal lover, so it took a lot to say that. Anyway, I hope you get your homework done. I've been goofing off for three or four semesters and nothing good comes of it, believe me. Once again, Happy Birthday!
from cloudy-night :
I'm at a loss for words right now. You're going through so much and I truly hope that things work out. Things will go your way, just have faith and don't be so hard on yourself. You're a great person! I hope your b-day turns out well and forgive your father. I don't know anything, but from what I read - it seems like you're the most important thing in his life right now and it's hard for some parents to let their children grow up. Also, I hope you find that person to come home to, I really do. Smile and enjoy life! :D
from musicman6724 :
First thing I'll say is, yes, somebody can love you like this. We've had similar fights with Stephanie, the most recent being in the car on the home from a disastrously failed school event. I'm always afraid one of our neighbors is going to do the same thing yours did, and call the cops. So far, it hasn't happened. Maybe our homes are more soundproof than we think. But we love Stephanie with all our hearts, and we realize that, as much as it hurts, and as frustrating as it is, there is a line that, once she crosses it, there's no turning back, and we're gonna have a huge fight. It's been a few weeks now, since we've had one of those, but reading your journal gives me a different perspective on the whole thing. Stephanie has not yet quite learned how to express how she's feeling. I would be willing to bet that, after one of those fights, her thoughts sound a lot like yours. I wish she could write them down like you do, but then, she probably wouldn't want me reading them. Thanks for writing them. Grace and peace~~Jeff
from cloudy-night :
Hmmm, I'm like you. I always feel so inadequate around other people. Don't put yourself down so much, you are just as smart, just as pretty, just as great as the girl you spoke, probably even more so. If you want to talk to her, go talk to her and if you want to go talk to him, talk to him. If you want to make friends, you have to put yourself out there - don't be afraid to be who you are because I think that you're cool as the ninth circle of hell. Don't finish your college year with regrets, no what if's or would could's, etc. I like the fact that you're into music, I have always been envious of people who had musical, literary, and/or artistic talent. Oh yeah, you're not the only anime nerd, I walk around with anime shirts on all the time, I'm really fond of Full Metal, Bleach, and Naruto and have a few shirts. Oh and the guy on Full Metal Name is Maes Hughes and I hated that he died as well. But in the new one that is based more on the manga, his death isn't all that dramatic because they don't go deeply into his character. I'll be waiting to see how you intergrate your old and new journal. I also hope that you went to talk to the guy you like.
from cloudy-night :
I know how it feels to be alone. I know how it feels to have conflicted feelings when it comes to changing yourself into the the person that you want to be. I hope that you take that first step in an entirely new direction. Don't be afraid to change, it won't take from who you are, it will only improve upon it. Also, I would love to see you intergrate your old diary in with this one. I can't wait to see the results. :)
from cloudy-night :
I'm happy that you're so happy, even if you don't realize why - that makes it all the better! I run to get rid of my colds and/or fevers too. I've done it ever since I was a kid and I'm happy that you feel better. I also think that it's cool of you to have small goals, such as talking to at least two people each day, that's pretty good. I need to take small steps when I try to achieve a goal, maybe that's why I fall so flat on my face because I try to go all out. Also, if you form a more active social life, it probably won't affect your grades because you seem like the type of person who has priorities.
from cloudy-night :
Good luck, I hope everything goes well.
from cloudy-night :
Cool pictures, now I want to go to Disney World. Although I'm pissed at them for buying my beloved Marvel. Also, you're very pretty and just you wait, that guy will be all over you soon enough. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. In the end it will be worth it.
from sunflowerowl :
Yeah, I really like Astronomy, but it's a 3 hour class so after the first hour I just want to sleep, lol. I hope you feel better! :)
from cloudy-night :
It's okay about the long note, I enjoy feed back. It's strange, I think that the voice acting for Bleach sounds way better in Japanese. I recently watched Bleach on CN last saturday and I don't Nel's voice. She sounds so out of place, it doesn't really sound like a child's voice to me. I really thought that the voice acting sounded better in the beginning of the series and even during the Bounts episodes, it wasn't so bad. The one thing that I dislike about Bleach is all the fillers. They have a DBZ thing going on. My favorite anime series that is english dubbed is definitely Full Metal Alchemist. So many of those episodes make me cry, I love that voice acting! I am really crazy of Brotherhood because it follows the manga series, but it really does lack the brotherly love of the first one. Also, I hear that they are having a special screening of the New Bleach Film in ten cities and I really hope that mine is one of them.
from cloudy-night :
You love chocolate I see. I never been to Disneyland, so I'm a bit envious of you right now. I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself.
from sunflowerowl :
I just want to build a snowman at least once in my lifetime. :D Thank you for the add back!
from sunflowerowl :
hi! is it alright if i add you?
from fan4 :
I've never been to Portland, so I can't comment on it. I have been to Newport though, and I love the aquarium over there. A roadtrip would be rough on any animal. Not only would you need to bring along supplies (water, food, favorite toys, carrier, etc.), you'd also have to make sure that the motel/hotel/whatever you're staying at is pet friendly.
from cloudy-night :
Your vacation seemed nice, sorry to hear that you and R wasn't syncing well. But those kind of things happen though, you shouldn't let that have dampen your good time. It's good that you enjoyed it all in the end though.
from musicman6724 :
Hi, there! Long time, I know, but I'm still around. I agree with you about The Magic Kingdom. We've been twice, but both times when our kids were pretty young. I don't think any of us would enjoy it that much now (except for Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, if it's still there...). Hope the rest of your time is fun, though.
from cloudy-night :
Yeah, I love Bleach! The manga is great too! I have to admit that I like it better in Japanese. I'd rather deal with the subs than watch the dubbed versions. However, I think the voice acting is cool, especially Ichigo's. I can't wait for the third movie to come out, it has something to do with Rukia's death or maybe she's leaving? Lol, I know how you feel. I'm too lazy to design a page too. I don't really like the page design, but I secretly like purple. It's a great color, but I would never wear it. So, most of my pages have purple in it. I hope that you enjoy your vacation and I really enjoy your page too. I haven't gone back too far, it may take me a while to read five years worth of entries, but I would really like to read your take on life. Later!
from cloudy-night :
No problem. No one ever truly fits in anywhere, I think we just learn how to adapt or blend in. I hope that things get better for you in the long run. At least you figured out a few things because you have an idea of where you belong, right? The name of the song is called "Sunscreen" by The Class of 99. I love Naruto, but I also love Bleach too, so you're not isolated. Take Care!
from cloudy-night :
Wow, you've got a lot going on. I wish I could say something deep and profound, hell even something meaningful. But I can't think of a thing. "Don't compare your life with anyone else. The race is long. Sometimes your behind, sometimes you're ahead. But in the end, you're only racing yourself." I got it from a stupid song that I like a lot, but it's all I could think of.
from xxholding-on :
hey i saw you were online and i really wanted the vote from diaryland members towards an art contest i joined. It's a coach marketing contest and i need as many votes as i can get, please help! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=975395_34070543&pid=2767347&scid=452 ps- love your diary layout
from fan4 :
I read your archives.
from fan4 :
I don't think you're a doofus.
from fan4 :
yes, my screen name is shorthand for "Fantastic Four".
from fan4 :
I don't remember when I first learned there'd be a FF film, but the constant delays drove me crazy! At one point I grew tired of my hopes getting dashed too often, so I quit looking up info. on the project status. Someone in a Yahoo! group had to tell me about the 2004 casting.
from fan4 :
the alerts can always be turned off, should you tire of it....
from fan4 :
Here's a hint for you: When there's a multi-chapter story you like (and you're logged in), place it on story alert. That way, you're notified when it's updated.
from fan4 :
Grammar problems drive me nuts there too. I do a bunch of editing-type stuff in my reviews. I wish you were a FF fan though, or familiar with the characters.
from fan4 :
I'm also a free-verse poet, which means I don't worry about rhyme or meter. Anytime I had to think about those things for an assignment, I'd go completely nuts.
from fan4 :
Guess you've never heard of a block poem. My teacher suggested I place it in that format, for the Final Draft. The rough draft had stanzas in it.
from fan4 :
Have you read any of the stories in http://fanfiction.net? That's where my block poem is. *looks around*
from fan4 :
http://subliminal.lunanina.com/
from fan4 :
*embarrased* I created two Diaryland notes for you, but posted them in my note section instead of yours. I normally don't make that mistake. I'm sorry.
from rs-forever :
You must speak to your friend once again, ask her if she would reconsider being friends again. I am sure she would want to talk to you too.
from musicman6724 :
I believe that you can be all of those things that you said. Keep hoping.
from musicman6724 :
Hi. I'm sorry I haven't been over here in a while. I appreciate your notes and comments on when I update mine. Seems like I never have time to read my buddies, but I'm going to start making time. I liked the "box" story. That made me laugh. Sounds like you had a lot of fun. See you later.--Jeff
from abetterme33 :
so i saw twilight the other night. the part where edward talks about bella's scent being strong cracked me up. i burst out laughing in the theatre because i remembered our conversation. gawd...that was funny.
from fan4 :
The cheesecake came from a store. I don't know how to make it from scratch.
from musicman6724 :
I owe you a huge apology for never getting back to you on those poems. It turned out that I only had sappy love songs and super-religious ones. I didn't figure you would like any of those, but I still should have replied back. Please forgive me.--Jeff
from fan4 :
Do you also curse in the offline world?
from abetterme33 :
haha i see you on the "users online right now"
from abetterme33 :
oh my gosh, i've been waiting for you to write! it's been forever.
from musicman6724 :
I like the second poem. I like the whole idea of "running from your dreams." I might see if I have any that might suit you, as well. I've written a lot of song in the past, and I think I have some that never made it to music.
from fan4 :
I may be a newbie to your diary, but i don't think you're a terrible person.
from musicman6724 :
Sorry I haven't been reading lately...I haven't even been on this diary in a couple of weeks. I hope you feel better soon. Sounds like a pretty serious depression. I promise you, you aren't as bad as you think. And I've heard you play, so, NO...you don't suck. <3
from fan4 :
I got tired of the e-mails after awhile, so I turned the notification off. I make it a habit to check my notes and guestbook on a regular basis. Anyway, I did have a good Christmas. Thought I knew what all my presents would be, but my parents threw in some surprises as well. There's snow over here still. It did melt a little today, but more snow showed up. I hope this stuff goes away soon. I'm not used to having snow for multiple weeks. It first came on the 14th. Some days it would begin to melt, only for more snow to appear. I'm going crazy over here!
from epiclogic :
lolWatanuki.
from fan4 :
Merry Christmas!
from fan4 :
*hugs*
from fan4 :
I'm sorry your feline best friend died. :( I'm snowed in, so I'm thinking I may be restless due to that.
from fan4 :
Are you okay?
from fan4 :
The shonen manga I like is Yu-Gi-Oh! I have a collection of the trades at home. I do have holes though.
from fan4 :
I've attended multiple comicbook cons, but I've never attended an anime con.
from fan4 :
Thanks for telling me about it.
from fan4 :
What is Bleach?
from abetterme33 :
i want to hear it. send it away (in mp3 format)
from abetterme33 :
hey sorry i forget to tell you happy birthday on your birthday. i'm a crappy person and a horrible friend. no, honestly, i am. that's funny about the anime convention. my niece wants to go to one that is coming up here but it's $35 a person and my sister doesn't really want to spend 70 dollars to take her...well, it would be more like 105 because then my youngest niece would want to go to. are those places even for kids? do you see a lot of kids under 12 there? i don't know about this bunny business. maybe wait a little longer? time usually reveals things. afterall you have, what? the next two years with him, right?
from fan4 :
I'm staying away from the new dub. I like the old one which I already have.
from abetterme33 :
the only relationship advice i have is to never take any. seriously. just follow your gut. listen to yourself. you know better than anyone else.
from fan4 :
I own My Neighbor Totoro on VHS. Only Anime I have on DVD is Spirited Away. I disagree with you about Aladdin. I didn't find Robin Williams annoying at all.
from fan4 :
I've never seen The Office or 30 Rock.
from fan4 :
You're a faster manga reader than I am. I'm sorry you don't have much free time in your life.
from abetterme33 :
i watched tortora with the kids i babysit the other day.
from fan4 :
I'm an English Major. Do you have a library card? The libraries near me have films to check out. I may have to do some searching in a public library, in order to view films I can't find in video stores for whatever reason.
from fan4 :
I'm a Senior at the UW (I'l graduate sometime next year), and I haven't been in a relationship yet.
from fan4 :
Thanks for adding my diary to your favorites list. :)
from fan4 :
My favorite comicbook character of all time's Ben Grimm. Francine's my favorite female lead in SiP. Spirited Away's one of my favorite Miyazaki films.
from fan4 :
You need a new guestbook. The one you do have no longer works. Have you ever given Strangers in Paradise (SiP for short) a chance? Unlike you, I do like superheroes. However, for me it's the characterization that matters the most to me (same for any non-superpowered character), not the fancy powers themselves.
from musicman6724 :
I'm right there with you on the Manny thing. We had a wonderful time! I never made it to Newbury Comics. Heck, we hardly had time to do anything extra over the weekend, with our VIP tour and pre-game reception on Saturday. Got kind of worried when it was pouring down rain on Sunday evening, but that turned out to be the best game of the weekend. We've been in New Hampshire since Monday and have to go back to Texas tomorrow. *wahhhh*
from musicman6724 :
Glad you got to see part of the Twins sweep! And the Dropkick Murphys, too. I went to see them in Dallas back in the winter. It was a good show, but I was disappointed that they didn't play "Tessie." Where is this Newbury Comics store? That sounds interesting and we will be in Boston this weekend. Flying up Friday for the Yankees series. God, I hope it doesn't rain all weekend!! And congrats on the new job, too. Take care.
from musicman6724 :
Thanks for the nice note! Always good to hear from you. Hope you enjoy the Sox game. Hope they can beat the Rays for a change. Seems like they always struggle with TB. We will be at Fenway July 25, 26, and 27 for the Yankees series. WOOT!!! And yes, we're paying SEVERAL pretty pennies for that privilege. But it will be well worth it. We got a "Red Sox Destinations" deal for that one. See you later--Jeff
from musicman6724 :
Good luck with your concert Saturday, and I would definitely like to hear your piece. Also, good luck conducting the "cute" instrumentalists. :-)
from musicman6724 :
Hey, check out the "letter" I wrote to Hank Steinbrenner after his stupid comments about the Red Sox Nation the other day. It's at my Red Sox blog which is bickley-redsoxfan.blogspot.com. There are quite a few fans who have blogs over there, too.
from musicman6724 :
Wow. You're saying things that are bring back memories from long ago...words like "bouree" or however that's spelled. I actually remember it, but I don't remember what it is other than some kind of dance. I think. Heh. Well, good luck with your composition. I was never very good at that part.
from musicman6724 :
Sounds like some good goals. I would like to achieve that same things that you have written about. I need to compose some music and become a better musician, myself.
from musicman6724 :
It makes my heart hurt so much to hear you feeling like that. I wish there was something I could do to help. I wish there was a way I could show God's love to you. But that's so hard to do through web pages. Please don't give up. <3 Jeff
from musicman6724 :
Hey, I watched your video. Nice. It's hard to play like that. In my life, I've learned one "fingerstyle" piece, which is "Mood For A Day," as performed by Steve Howe of Yes, from back in the 70's. It's very difficult. You did good. Good quality video, too. Lots of stuff on YouTube is crappy. Hugs! Keep it up...music is...hehe...I'm trying to think of something really profound, here, and it isn't coming. Music is just awesome...that's good enough for now.
from musicman6724 :
I'm right there with you on the selfishness of people. People seem to get nastier around the holidays which is kind of backwards. It's bizarre. I'm a pretty generous guy, so I'm always trying to help people with donations and stuff. We usually give gifts through some kind of "Angel Tree" program, I almost always stuff some money in the Salvation Army bucket, donate to food banks, clothes closets, etc. It actually pains me to have to tell phone solicitors "no" sometimes, because I just can't help everybody.
from musicman6724 :
It was nice to hear from you again. I've missed you. I've written a couple more about the Sox since then, in fact just posted one with a link to Manny's walk off last night. Was that amazing or WHAT?? Teach them to walk Papi!! Can I get a password for your diary? See you soon.--Jeff
from abetterme33 :
haha, i read the "49". haha.
from chances-are :
i tried your old password/username combo, it didn't work. can i have your new one?
from musicman6724 :
Well, I see you've put a password in your diary. I certainly understand if you don't want to share it. If not, I wish you all the best. Take care. By the way...my weekend at Fenway was far beyond my wildest dreams. It was incredible!
from chances-are :
so i wrote you a message, but it posted in my notes for some reason.
from musicman6724 :
Hey, there! It was a good weekend for the Sox in Texas. I was at two of the games (even though we only lasted until the third inning of the rain-delayed game that didn't start until 9pm our time). My daughter was very disappointed, though. She wanted the Rangers to win. Oh, well. Looking forward to our trip in July!!
from chances-are :
did you know that built to spill is a boise band? the photo teacher at my high school is friends with the band.
from chances-are :
i believe your feelings are valid, even though he says they aren't. if you feel they are just--they are valid, no matter what.
from chances-are :
yay! you told him. you'll have to tell me immediatly how he replies.
from wasgood :
good morning racecar
from chances-are :
phew! i'd feel so dumb if he was offended! i'll look at layouts. its too bad, because i really liked the last one.
from musicman6724 :
I wish I had some words that would solve all your problems...but I don't. But I'm praying for you, ok? I know you don't think God is paying any attention to you, but I think he is. I believe he watches over all of us. I can't answer why such crappy things happen to some, though. And by the way, at the risk of sounding creepy, I think you ARE good-looking. If I was 25 years younger, I'd be crazy about you...so there. And I wasn't bald and fat then...lol...
from chances-are :
i will leave you a message later--
from chances-are :
omigosh, i love the hellokitty display! (and i love target. there is one only a couple miles away from my house so i am there atleast twice a week!) that's so cute about tristan, he probably does like you. please, please, please, keep me updated! wow, a tattoo? that is awesome. i have never understood how your map works. is it marked automatically like a tracker?
from musicman6724 :
You'll be getting an email because I'm adding you as a friend to my "myspace." It will either be under bickleyhouse@sbcglobal.net or just "Jeff." That would be me. There's not much there, because I haven't spent much time on myspace. But maybe I'll start adding some stuff to it. Bye.
from chances-are :
i still check this every time you update. my ip addresses or sort of random though. they are either from here, my parent's house, or school, which probably has hundreds of different ones!
from chances-are :
i say, go with the 8 ball!
from musicman6724 :
I missed your birthday. I'm sorry. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hear Manny wants to be traded. HAHAHAHA......
from chances-are :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
from chances-are :
omigosh, i loved your note kate. never be afraid to be yourself to ANYONE, promise me that, please? as far as insurance companies go...progressive has never failed to be the cheapest for me, but i do not know how their customer service is.
from musicman6724 :
If I were close, I'd bring you out for a meal with my family. Unfortunately, I way down here in Texas. I'm sorry you feel so alone, especially on the anniversary of your mother's death. One thing I would say...please don't give up the music. It is probably the most important thing you do. But if you do go to New York, promise you won't start liking the Yankees. :-)
from chances-are :
2 september 2006--i started a new diary. i know, i know, so many. its ridiculous. i am not attaching a guestbook to it just because i am trying to write as if no one is reading, to be more honest with myself. i went to my first baseball game last night! our city has a minor league...if its even that...i don't know. there are some things i don't really understand about the game, maybe you can inform me later?
from musicman6724 :
I don't think I bought enough Rolaids. Dear God, this is depressing! You know this all started when Tek had to have surgery. People that downplay team chemistry don't know what they're talking about. I think Tek was what was holding that team together. *curls up in a corner to whimper...*
from musicman6724 :
*gasp* Ignore the Red Sox?? *gasp* Just kidding. They have been depressing lately, but they've finally won a couple from Baltimore. Hopefully, their slide is over. They have two very key injured players, and that's affecting them greatly. Our Rangers have been struggling big-time, too, but have finally won a few in a row.
from drmingawake :
something august 2006-grrr, same guestbook problems. i'll write you an email soon!
from musicman6724 :
My wife worked at Target when I met her. That was a little over 20 years ago, but it was a good place to work for her. They treated her well, and she seemed to be respected. So, for whatever that's worth...good luck with your decision. I'll pray for you to have wisdom to make the right choice. I know that, personally, I would much rather shop at Target than Walmart, so I always figured I'd rather work there, too. But that doesn't always work out the same way.
from drmingawake :
9 june 2006. how sad. i wrote you a really long note on your guestbook but the server was down and it didn't go through! i'll write you a note later!
from drmingawake :
wednesday...june, i don't know which day...anyway, i just had this to say, "hakuna matata, means no worries for the rest of your days." that was my first favourite movie. i watched it every single day...my poor grandmother.
from drmingawake :
that was mike, yes, the same one :) and no, only you and caitlyn read :)
from drmingawake :
some day in april? 19th? do you have msn messenger? i don't have aim anymore. message me back.
from kissmemister :
Hey! I've been reading your diary and it somewhat sounds like me. Haha... I just wanted to say hello. Stay classy. Caitlyn
from bassclargrrl :
oi!
from chsturtle :
Hi, I don't know all that you're going through (obviously), but your diary entries sound very much like mine from a few months ago. I can tell you that although love or finding someone can help, it can also lead to problems. As cliche as it sounds, I think it's true that you have to find peace with yourself and be happy inside, before you can be happy with others. Anyway, I hope that you find something that helps you through things. I believe Meditation is a good start :)
from drmingawake :
7th? march 6th? i don't know. haha. i think i am just trying to fill up your favourite diary spaces. hahaha.
from argos67 :
1 january-guestbook is down. i've been reading over a few of your older entries, i've especially been thinking about the one where you address the need for a good band. a universal one. i once read in a rolling stone-like article that outkasts's "hey yeah" was a universally binding song...i can completely disagree that there is nothing more annoying that "shake it, shake it like a salt shaker." so maybe outkast was that universal binding song for the short time being it was. but then, i think there are people that say they like certain music just to be apart of hip or counterculture. there are so many people thay say they like the beatles just to say they like them. and its annoying. similar to how any one gothic from the 80's liked depeche mode and the cure whether they actually did or not. i don't ever think there will be that universal icon or group simply because there is too much culture, if that makes any sence. it is amazing how years after the band split there records are still selling millions. hmmn. i like family guy over futurama, but you've heard me go on about that before. the animation, blah blah blah.
from boogityx2 :
Sup, Racecar. Thanks for joining the Arrested Development diaryring!
from argos67 :
july 18th-i think it is. the guestbook is down right now. no problem about the quiz. i hafta say it's pretty much impossible, considering the last time i died my hair was when i was in middle school and i've never told anyone about my tatoo idea. i practically did it out of boredome and fyi. the cure is my favourite band actually! i'm suprised you actually remember that. that is awesome! i walked into a gas station yesterday that was playing "just like heaven" and i started dancing around and humming to it thinking "i love the cure-they are my favourite band." no joke--but i'm just crazy like that. i don't know why i didn't put it on the quiz. and about the photo editing. gosh, i realy can't say. i don't even know how to use any to be honest. the only photoediting i had was on my phone, and i guess paint, but you can't do much with that. sorry!
from argos67 :
march 25th-i would love to see pictures of you and persch-ochoichilajdchi from prom last year, in fact, i would be very excited! and yes, i am using guestbook for both diaries. three. no one reads the other one though. and to be honest, i don't even remember which one it is. i don't mind that you read the others at all, i actually support it if you want to. i like being able to share with my best buddy from a million bazillion miles away!
from argos67 :
march 24th-college boys are butts.
from argos67 :
1st of january-you are right about the whole worrying thing. not to be conceited, but we are pretty talented. you are incredibly, amazingly smart and a magnificent writer, and i um, well, i'm neat in a way. we should be confident, but it seems like i'm always overtaken by insecurities. i kinda think of it as a way to stay on my feet, if you know what i mean. when i nap during the day i can't sleep at night and then i'm grumpy the next morning. :( i'm a real horrible sleeper type. well, i'll go and check the guild now. :)
from argos67 :
i think it's the 21st of december, i think. hmmn. in reply to your guestbook entry...any old advent calender items. i'm going to create an advent gallery since the prizes are kind of neat to look at and they are really cheap to buy. and yes, those are the lyrics to blink182's always. it's kind of neat that you heard the song for the first time that day and went to my diary to find the lyrics as part of the template. neato.
from argos67 :
5th of december. barely. i think that's really cute about blake. i can just see it in my mind right now. as for a job, everyone has to start somewhere. but you do have experience from burger king anyway. i'm not sure if that's what you mean though. but i'm sure you'll get employed soon enough.
from argos67 :
3rd of november-thank you for your comment about my picture. i think it makes me look like i'm a monster though. roar! yes, the marquee has always been there. i thought it would be too much with the scrolling text in the location bar. it probably is, but oh well. does your computer just choose not to run the program? if that's the case, how strange. oh me oh my, the banner that is being displayed right now has a picture of bush flipping the audience off. probably a photoshop job. sigh. some people. if not, i atleast do not think they should display something like that. racecar, i've been freaking out lately. just crazy.
from argos67 :
29th of october sorry if this is a double post. i actually did make the layout. wierd huh? i linked to a design site because i borrowed the octopus image from it.
from argos67 :
21st of october. wow racecar, your note really cheered me up. and you are right. it's not like i'm robbing 7-11s for him (that somehow reminds me of the atari's "i don't want to spend another night alone" 'i'll rob a quik-e-mart for you') so i'm going to do it. you are so right. genius my dear friend, genius.
from argos67 :
10th of october, or so-hmmn. midis...? arrrr. i'm not very familiar with music files at all. the only kind i've used are...i feel like a goof. but they are just the ones where you copy and paste the coding into your diary...like at mimisk8.com and starlightmks.com if you have time, would you please look for me? and only if you have time that is. i've actually known for a long time, i'm just not really creative enough to design something pretty. i'm pretty happy with the way it looks so far. there are just a few problems i have to work out before i get it up. it will most likely be done before sunday though.
from argos67 :
6th of october-no, no, you are wonderful. repetitive? no. not at all. i started modelling recently because i needed the money. i never thought i would although people have told me i could be a model for many years. (i think it's just because i'm tall and skinny, i'm defineatly no tyra banks or heidi klume. that would be my dream to model for abercrombie or american eagle. in all honesty it is. but i don't think i'm pretty enough. and i think i look to hmmn, um, well, i don't think i look "authentic" enough because although i am ethnic, i'm not ethnic enough. and now i'm cracking up laughing.
from pretty-pussy :
thanks for joining the reno 911 diaryring!
from argos67 :
11th of september. i'm a lex-whore myself. i think she is my favorite designer. thanks, and i will-about the nursing. fresh prince on nick-at-night? that is wierd. i do feel old. wowzas. that's crazy. i'll be excited to see the updates of squareone. i'll update it later too. mahallo
from that-a-girl :
6th of september. did you know that we've known each other for more than two years now? crazy isn't it? it's cool that you are rebuilding your cd collection. it's interesting to read all of the new ones you get. and yeah, i'm addicted to third rock. i hate tv, but i'll dodge bullets to see that show. and my computer was rebooted. no word. it is wierd. night night
from that-a-girl :
8th of august. that's funny that you were on the same time i was! i wish i knew! but then it would have kinda been pointless since i don't have aol on this computer. i am borrowing my brother's until my compaq gets fixed. (infected by spyware, what a pain, and it was such a good computer.) bleh. kidney stones! i read that and i was completely shocked! but it's okay because then i started to laugh. seinfeld. if i lived closer i would have to borrow that! yeah. being melancholy sucks. i'm glad you liked the friends page. i'm going to revise it later and add more people, like the ones i actually mention, lol. i'll open it up in a new window too. that would be more convenient.
from that-a-girl :
i felt like leaving a note today. i dunno why. odd. i really like this entry (and in case you check this late, it is the 2nd of august) o, and prizes. maybe codestones, dubloons, faeries, generic prizes like those. or we could be special and have gourmet food, books, or avatar items. maybe. you tell me.
from that-a-girl :
hey racecar, it's me. can i have access to your diary? my email is megabear@hellokitty.com oh by the way, i sold the zomutt and am putting the money i made off of it into the stocks. i figure we can eventually gain more money this way-what do you think?
from that-a-girl :
that's okay. i look at things the same way you do...i wish i could see as brock does-and i don't know what it takes, an inspirational amount of maturity i assume. i wish i was a good painter. arr.
from trapidi :
i like how u put down names like poodle, lambchops and dancer. cool and confedential(i probably didn't spell that right)!
from soulfan24 :
I actually didn't mean to sign both your notes and guestbook. But when I first signed your gbook it said that it didn't take my entry so I did the notes instead. But the same thing showed up in your gbook. Ha ha. I got my layout from tefdesigns. They had some real cute ones. Well, catch ya lata! ~Hannah
from soulfan24 :
Hey there chica! Just wanted to say hello and that I found your page through the Foo Fighters ring. Also, I know who Badly Drawn Boy is too! Anywho, stop by and say hi sometime. You're more than welcome. :) ~Hannah
from arsenictango :
Ha. That would be just my luck, to have a password and not need it. Oh, well. I watch VH1, too. It's very educational, really, I learn most of what I know from it.
from arsenictango :
Hey, can I have the password? I swear I don't know you in real life or anything... spasmatica@hotmail.com
from haunted360 :
Hey kat do me a favor and just let it go . Bye
from haunted360 :
Hey i'm still trying to figuer out how to us ethis site. O well i guess I wil ldo it some day. well g2g Love Felisha
from megabear :
omigosh, i just left you this larger than life guestbook entry but it wouldn't take it. i hate how long messages left in notes look so so LONG so i'm going to write back in a few minutes in your gbook if it starts to work or i'll email it to you.
from keeds :
hi. write back.
from grrldreds :
hey, i am doing a study on ravers for my university. if you would be interested in filling a survey out you can email me at grrldreds@yahoo.com. Everything is confidential. Thanks so much.
from soapypjs :
i saw the book stargirl at the library in my mall the other day, and i was like, hey, that somehow strikes a bell, i picked it up, but i didn't check it out. i kept on wondering where or how i saw it or thought about it, and now i know! love you!
from keleidascope :
i took the back button off, because my diary is part of my websites layout and they didn't work right with it. you can still read my older entries by going to /older.html cos theyre all there. :)
from keleidascope :
ahh, that would be why i didn't recognise you, lol. well, cool. *adds you to favourites*
from keleidascope :
Hey. I've read your diary and tried to figure it out, but I can't... who were you on TOD? I feel rude asking but I wanna know, LOL
from glitterscars :
Hi, I dropped by to thank you for joining the ash-fans diaryring - then I got distracted and wanted to write about something else entirely. That I empathise, perhaps, with trying to be nice to others and dealing with a mother who's a bit... well... I think you understand. If you ever need someone to vent at, track me down xx
from puppys-stori :
me soapypjs, meghan. aw, racecar, i will care about you, even with that thing with your mom and FiFi. i know you two were friends, and my mom is the same way, it is hard for me to hold onto friends after they meet my mom. but remember racecar, i am here, even if your mom finds out about me, she can yell at me all she wants and i won't care, because there probably isn't anything worse than what my own has told me. racecar, i love you. and when you feel you have nothing left to hold onto, hold onto me because i know just as well i need to hold onto you. love you girl, meghan or puppy, cuz i know you love the 'names'. :-)
from soapypjs :
My computer is such a Nazi! everytime i try to write a note, it disconnects me! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! anyway, i need to shut myself up, cuz when i get mad, the Nazi computer has a blast. anyway, i love your diary! i love you too! your freakin' awesome. so much about you reminds me of me. donut shop aye? i was going to apply at one in my home town. but finding a job is so hard right now. i'm a McDonald's reject! how sorry does that sound? another thing, i'm not much of a movie person either, people don't understand. and about my name, it was during a lonely november day when my mind was absolutely blank and i was just staring at the computer. i was trying to think of a name, and i looked down at my pajama bottoms with soap bubbles and duckies. i hate to be so racy and scatterbrained, but i gotta go! love ya meghan.
from soapypjs :
hey Racecar! i was reading your diary and it is awesome! i love the daria thing, and wow, i just love everything about your site! love, megs.
from erica2175 :
welcome to the animal-lover diaryring
from luvthatjay :
Hi and welcome to the BRMC diaryring. The second greatest ring on diaryland. The first is the JulianCasablancas diaryring...which also belongs to me. I'm such a twerp, anyway, glad you joined and I LUUUUUUUUUV PETE YORN TOO! -MissJackie
from fifi13 :
I know He never shuts up . lol well here you go i read you diary . Love fifi
from fifi13 :
hello my dear how are you . i'm good i'm still getting used to this one . Love Fifi

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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