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Music taste wide and wonderful. I'm 18, so I can get married. Wanna marry me? I don't mind that you're most likely female (really, I don't). You SEEM very "cool".

from sad-doll :

<3 <3 <3

from sad-doll :

I found you through Bloodyscars, and if she read syour diary you must be amazing.

from mr-knowitall :

I wish my parents had stayed together as well. They divorced when I was 8, and I'm convinced it did much damage to me. Many years after the fact, my mom explained things to me, and I finally understood that she did what was at the time best for everyone, though through the eyes of an 8 year old it's hard to make those kind of connections. It's for this reason my wife and I are very commited to keeping our family in tact. Besides, after all these years (18 in July) we kinda like each other. ;) I stopped hating them a long time ago. My father has passed on, and my mom is now 74. Despite their faults, they are the best, and I love them dearly. Take care, will be reading you ~Rick

from jonah64 :

Have lots of fun at your camp. talk to you more in the fall. Jonah

from scarletbreze :

have a good time, i'll be thinking of ya, take care..... tim othy.. peace, love e m pathy (hurts)

from frank-dirty :

I have this thing about pet names and I really woulnd't worry about it. the fact that you're the first person I've ever called candypants should mean the world to you. If I said dollface or sugarplum then you're just another girl. I have a huge email to write you. imminently

from nirvanazz :

Candypants???

from frank-dirty :

don't fret candypants... I got the email. and your entry did look very familiar.

from frank-dirty :

that's exactly what I was talking about with the truth thing. it's all bullshit man. no one wants the truth cause it just ends up hurting feelings and getting nice people like us into trouble.

from frank-dirty :

your entry worries me. you need to write back... I assure you that I am there for you in whatever form you need me. I can do things besides whine. You just let me know what I can do.

from scarletbreze :

heyheyhey lil sis :} ::: hugs and a kiss ::: we can chat if ya need, leave me an e mail ([email protected]) muah! unconditional love, tim othy

from jonah64 :

Good luck with your performances. ;)

from mangotuesday :

and you are what i would call brave on the rocks. x

from rookarino :

I know, I care and love you very much also.

from lonesome1 :

hey, just wanted to say thanks for signing my book. I'll be reading more of your diary as soon as I get a chance :)

from frank-dirty :

nobody's ever told me not to change. I think this whole 21 years of being unbelievably uncomfortable in my own skin really needed a shot in the arm like that... thank you.

from jpoet112 :

thank you for you're kindness. i'm just out there living. trying to carve out a place where i can stand, fall down, and stand back up again. fighting the long fight. just like everyone else. and sometimes its beautiful and sometimes its horrible, but its always real. and there are always other people out there to make it a little bit easier, when you see that they're fighting too, and you know that you're not utterly alone and forsaken. take care of you. love, jonathan.

from frank-dirty :

I really can't explain my trust in you. You just seem so sincere that, against my always unsure judgement, I can't help but trust you. That story was the saddest thing I've heard in a long time.. and you are much stronger than I am. I'm pretty sure the human mind isn't made to naturally cope with things like that. You're something very very special and don't ever forget it.

from jonah64 :

Holy shit! Your uncle shot your cousing at the dinner table. That would tramatize me for life. You seem to have a very interesting family. That's a lot of messed up stuff to happen all over one Thanksgiving. Hope your cousin gets better. Jonah

from blind-sight- :

Hey there. I'm so sorry i didn't respond to your message earlier Nirvanazz (because my internet was busted : ) but now all is working ok. Thank you. It's really nice to know when someone actually appreciates what you write and i hope that maybe i've helped you in someways, even if its just to know that your not alone. Your diary has a sort of familiarity about it, in that i can picture everything you speak about through such utter finnesse. I'm usually rather lazy when it comes to reading diarys, i tend to just write my entries and then bugger off again, but yours is so instantly engaging, passionate and interesting that i can't help but read more. I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin, no offence but what the hell was your uncle trying to? I hope you all recover. Well, take care and keep writting :)

from rookarino :

for once I have no advice for you. Just hang in their hon, I belive in you

from rookarino :

My latest diary entry does not relate to you in any way, by the by. You have real problems you are struggling to cope with everyday, I'm just sick of some people's attitudes

from frank-dirty :

No Matter What.

from frank-dirty :

I care. And if the person you let me know you as is the same person that you let other people know you as (by diary, real or unreal life interactions) then I can't imagine a soul in your circle of loved ones and acquaintances not caring. Don't write about it.

from rookarino :

I care

from frank-dirty :

Ridiculously Supportive was my way of saying that your thoughts on my life and your entries in your diary are a pleasure I truly never expected to experience, being constructive and critical and... ridiculously supportive. I have since changed that comment to something that may perhaps be more fitting and somewhat less vague... I hope.

from jonah64 :

Happy Birthday! I know I'm a couple days late, but that's just the way I am. I'm just happy that I remembered somethings finally. Hope your day went well. Jonah

from frank-dirty :

Delores (my computer) has been in the shop for 3 weeks. She is now back and as lovely as ever. once again... all apologies

from rookarino :

never fear honey, I'm not dust quite yet. My computer broke down so I had to get a new one. Anyway I hope you are well and we'll catch up soon! =)

from jadedmist :

I feel what you're saying...

from frank-dirty :

she is a bitch... I concur completely. there's a world of other reasons that lead me to believe I need to find her though. Thanks for the reminder

from frank-dirty :

thank you

from frank-dirty :

I never thought I would see the day when I would feel the need to apologize for an unexplained and unplanned absence from my online diary, but to you I must. sorry... elabourated version in mine own diary.

from rookarino :

Hey Lauren, thanks for your note, I'm glad your having a good time in conneticut. I can't believe your 14!!! I thought you were at least 16. By the Way, could I have your new e-mail adress?

from rookarino :

hey Lauren, does your e-mail adress still work? Because I sent you an e-mail and usually you reply pretty quickly so I was just wondering. Anyway your welcome about what I wrote, hope you have a good holiday!

from jonah64 :

Here is my contact info: <br>AIM:hanoj64<br>E-mail: [email protected]<br>you'll have to contact me with your contact info so I don't lose touch.<br>Jonah

from rookarino :

glad to here your riding high in spirits. May I ask whom this kiss was from? :)

from plume :

Thank you. And for adding me as a fave. I like your blob. I will start a collection for a cardboard box for you. A couple of years and I'll have you a wooden shed box.

from rookarino :

Hey, sorry to hear about your toe. Hope it gets better soon. Take care, Lawrence

from rookarino :

thanks for the support. i did kinda get my arse kicked though.

from scarletbreze :

laur laur! hey, its been a while since we have gotten to talk, hope things are well... wuv ya much... tim

from rookarino :

hey Lauren. I hope everythings ok as you havn't updated your diary in ages. Peace.

from quillpen :

hello! thank you for leaving a note on my diaryland thing, i love when people take the time to do such great acts that come in such small sizes. How impersonal is this! I'll try to make it more personal by saying more than just thank you, but also offering a hand to shake and a blessing from senor jesus y senorita krishna. It's hard to find any good in South Boring, I mean Brunswick, but I'm making my way here, working at the behemoth of Grand Union and living in a little development. Come into GU and say hello sometime, I'm the dirty looking tall kid with the 'fro. This isn't some plot to hook up or anything, I have a girlfriend, I'm just really really really really bored in South Brunswick I hardly know anyone from here. I didn't go to high school here or anything. Wait, what am I thinking, you're a dancer! Dancers never have time to hang out! I went out with a dancer and she danced all over my gonads promising me to hang out and shit, we never did, she was always taking trains to NYC and Boston, it sucked...godspeed.

from frank-dirty :

thanks for giving me my first note. It means a lot. your diary is cool and musical taste unsurpassed. I'll regularly visit and we'll float around and hang out on clouds.

from scarletbreze :

lil sis, my dancer girl : ) been a while since we've chatted it up (or at least it feels that way) But I am still here and reading your diary, * hugs and a brotherly kiss *... timmy :]

from jpoet112 :

"and all the crying years / that made the boys / to break the men / who once broke them" - - - it is a sick world. and as i have said, i deserve no explaination for my life. i don't need one. i've done enough wrong in my lifetime that i can rationalize the pains of MY existence. and i won't complain. but when it comes to other people . . when it comes to innocent people. children . . i demand an explaination. and feel that i am entitled to one. someone's entitled to one. cause i really don't understand. - - - in the book Watership Down, Holly makes the remark, "There is great evil in this world. And it comes from men." And I believe that to be true. The male gender. All the boys who are raped into men by the world. And then they continue the cycle. Like Jerusalam breaking biblical / without the knowledge that blood is cyclical. Abuse beagat abuse. And so on through the years. And I wonder what sick world it was that gave rise to your uncle. - - - I don't keep guns in my house. If I kept guns, I would feel to compelled to kill people like that. I know, that would be a blatant contradiction of my anti-capital punishment beliefs. But people like that guy are sick. And if its a choice: kill the uncle and save the girl, or let the uncle live to ruin her life . . . Then I'm killing. Because there is a time. There is a time for all things. - - - I'll just pray for you and those who you love. Pray to a god whose existence is uncertain to me. But still, I'll pray.

from scarletbreze :

hey sis :::hugs::: stay strong, I'll be online today/tonight if you wanna talk. I love you... tim

from jpoet112 :

"but its a painless hurting." that was beautiful. the refrain to some as of yet unwritten and tearful poem. i feel you. with that ache inside. and its not good or bad. the indifferent shade of grey just wells up inside my throat and chokes the words. the firefly without the fire. and loving everyone so much, without them ever knowing. i feel you. and all i can say is, "i used to be a little boy . . .

from dollxparts :

Are you fucking daft?! Let's start with the Smashing Pumpkins issue. Smashing Pumpkins...goth...You are fucking retared! It's people like you that need to kill themselves and spare the world the trouble. Secondly, Pearl Jam. What a bunch of no talent losers, they happened to be at the right place at the right time thats fucking all. Eddie Vedder: "Oh I dont want my concert tickets to be so expensive for the consumer, but I dont want to take a lower cut because I'm an asshole who should be shot on sight!" I've said my peace, I feel better for having expressed my views to someone and hopefully you'll be just a tad more intellegent from here on out.

from scarletbreze :

hey you, I didnt know that those panic attacks could be fatal, naive tim i guess, damn, hang in there : )... talk to ya soon :::hugs:::...tim

from siah :

*hugs* you are the exception, you are a beautiful and unique snowflake...and u are a special one at that... however, no one else is heheh... (can't completely abandon the theory lol) wuv ya! -Siah

from siah :

ack! gun thing? it better not be what i think it is, because if it is i'm going to be sad :( so you have to tell me!

from siah :

I still love that poem... Lauren, if chewing on the spoon will keep you from killing yourself than keep chewing on that spoon cause if you go, I won't be able to live and i'll be comming soon after! I know this sounds like what any "normal" person would say, but it's true! Just remember i'm always here for ya!

from vertigo31 :

hey thanx for the message...u seem like a cool girl! totally not afraid to be who you are and say what you mean...those are the people that deserve the credit :)

from scarletbreze :

hello, hello, how low.... Cool diary...1:11 make a wish, i always do at 11:11, well no always but, ya know....anyways I just started a diary here, come check it out...I Love Nirvana, drop me a line.

from siah :

Lauren! It's Siah, the "Goth, Metalhead, Punk, Computer Nerd" lol... You are one of the few cool people on this damned planet, ur like my sister! Yeah people suck, but hey, you want to make an omlet you have to crack a few eggs... i have no clue what that has to do with anything but thats besides the point! heheh Love Ya! -Siah

from nirvanazz :

This be where u write notes....

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