messages to penisface:
(click here to add new message):

from freyalinx :
don't cut your mohawk for anyone.
from bridy :
you dont know me i dnt know you. i didnt do anything to create you current situation i dnt know if this helps, actually.. i know it wont.. not at all... nothing will... but i'm sorry... for you.
from serena :
i'm sorry. but hey, at least you still have both of your arms! (in case you're not laughing, that was my poor attempt at a joke)
from rented :
Hi there Chris... I sent you a nice email and asked if I could see your new diary... and I guess you think I'm fugly or something. Oh, well. Anyways if you want to show some penisface love to a loyal reader... that would be nice. If not... oh well. Ok, bye.
from eatdixx :
ahhhh ha ha ha... that's so funny that the idea you came up with is for maura to assimilate you!!! brilliant. hey i never wrote my guest entry. i was waiting until i had the perfect thing to write, and it never came. how come you deleted all your old entries?
from mixedup :
You made the poor girl look like you. Although, I did enjoy watching it.
from bridy :
i enjoy you
from atavist :
at risk of thrusting you into a premature middle age, white goods are fridges / washing machines / dryers etc etc. interesting, huh?
from mixedup :
I know your doppelganger. Odd.
from rented :
Humpitty hump, hump; Humpitty hump, hump!
from pollytrotsky :
you... you need to update.
from eatdixx :
i don't know how to do it. are you red fox? penisface, i am very sad for you. i hope you are reunited with novie. i hpoe your grandmama gives you the ring. i have faith that you will find some way to be together.
from eatdixx :
i would like to write an entry in your diary, cockboots.
from gypped :
aw that's just lovely.
from eatdixx :
hi, penisface.
from lilly-ann16 :
Hey u don't no me but....how old r u? and do u have msn??oh ya and how do u look like??? I am 14 by the way oh ya and if u do have msn add me boi_krazae@hotmail.com or......strut_my_stuff911@hotmail.com! Hoping to hear from u soon oh ya and add me to ur list of peeps if u will lilly-ann16 u no that.......I think(kiss)
from d1mndn3r0ugh :
I finally add you to my faves, and you don't update for, oh, 4,324 days. Ugh!
from a-z-a :
love them old rpgs for snes. final fantasy 3 was my favorite. and chrono trigger. damn, i wish games had the same quality nowdays.
from gypped :
penis. peeee-nissss. such a good word to roll around one's mouth. that's right. 'penis' and 'mouth' right there together in the SAME SENTANCE.
from eatdixx :
well YOU HAVE IT, you got a reply. I'd like one before you go to sleep, pleez. You're lookin pretty hott, by the way.
from eatdixx :
yes dear, it is. thinking about a hott chick sinking onto a nice looking cock always gets me going.
from eatdixx :
you're currently talking with mr palmer and his five daughters? i've known his sons for a while. occasionally the girls drop in but i don't see them nearly enough
from eatdixx :
i'm in an office, i try and jerk off silently
from lovemydox :
Okay dude - although I should probably be disgusted by the Lance Armstrong shit entry, I was truly laughing my ass off. Have you visited this site? www.poopreport.com This is the site for you!
from ishkabibbley :
HA! ok, i just stumbled across your diary thru one of those banners of yours, and you are my new hero! you are fuckin awesome...
from gypped :
clearly, your choice would be 'its gonna be me' over 'everybody'. I still watch your video from time to time, and smile. and then laugh. and then I laugh some more. such a perfect imitation :)
from gypped :
I approve of the new banner :)
from mackaj :
australia rawks, but i am biased, i live there
from yrsoaboveme :
lmfao those banners rock <33
from bridy :
banners 1,7,8,9 r awesome... lol :)
from gypped :
probably because of all the screaming.
from buck88 :
hott look, smart yet casual, street yet couture.
from prissy-pants :
I'm not quite sure how I found your diary, but I must say that I think I am a-dick-ted to you Penisface. You have a great sense of humor.
from elegantfreak :
Reading that made me remember how much fun it used to be to tweek with all the sad little homophobic, sexually repressed, closet queers online. Those were the good old days of online communication - when being called "gay" by some gender-confused adolescent "1337 g4m3r" was acutally entertaining, in a sad sort of way. Hope your finals went well. God bless semester breaks.
from x0lulu0x :
always making me proud, my dear.
from miark :
in some countries, you would be considered awesome all the time
from gypped :
why only two pairs of pants?
from pan-opticon :
I hope I don't have a penis. I've lived under the assumption that I don't for some time; if I do, I hope its small so I can just tuck it back or something. For some reason, I'm guessing the penis correlation, your name reminded me of that moment in E.T. when Elliot calls his brother penisbreath. A true moment of comedic genius.
from pollytrotsky :
oh. australianisms. blokey is.. like a bloke. and a bloke is a man. a manly kind of man. a beer drinking, balls scratching, broad aussie accent kind of man. .. the cliche of australian men, i guess.
from fusco :
damn right,i have so much more to offer than the other 55, between the dead toaster and the family, it's a veritable roller-coaster of fun
from fusco :
there was no obligation, except for my guilt tripping (dear god, i'm my catholic mother).
from fusco :
i have no pretence, except for liking your writing, and self-effacement, and never being buddied. but i'm a big girl ;)
from tearsxmyface :
Why did you include my diary's name in your entry? I think you need to open up to your emotions more and write some poetry under leafy trees. In the sun...forever... signed, tearsxmyface.
from gypped :
what about masturbating?
from penisface :
I'm trying to get in the habit of doing something everyday besides eating. We'll see how long before I crash and burn.
from gypped :
you're writing heaaaps lately
from penfifteen :
As the prophet says in chapter 19 of Moby Dick, "A soul's a sort of a fifth wheel to a wagon." And who needs a five-wheeled wagon anyway? Go on and sell it. If some fool wants to pay money for a thing whose very existence has yet to be verified in hundreds of years of scientific inquiry, I say take his fucking money and smile while you're doing it. But then, I'm an atheist, and everyone knows that belief in God is necessary for a moral life, right?
from shellbell212 :
i luv you "shit cock"
from x0lulu0x :
the fact that you were almost blatantly making fun of him in your email and the fact that his obscenely overdevelopped-nineteen-page-resume-brain didn't get it would make it seem to me that its, in fact, Chris -1 Shusterman-0
from x0lulu0x :
nineteen pages! that man's resume is nineteen pages long.
from drunkencynic :
Aha! Thank you, you rock! I'll give it some thought. Right now I'm informally on LiveJournal.
from silkydesires :
I just checked out your diary and really liked how you wrote. Its story like. Very interesting. Loved the how big was it? Id have dumped her too!! LOL!! Maybe writeme some time.
from list-alive :
Hello, I've recently opened a new listing site, and I would like to list you!
from allegedwife :
I wanna go to your supermarket.....you get 20something checkout chicks. We get (if we're lucky) a pimple-faced 16yo who failed primary school English and who answers every question with "huh?". And a bagging person? WOW...thought they disappeared with the ark! I would, however, probably have beaten that synthetic-voiced substitute with an axe! Your patience was admirable!
from miark :
huzzah!
from whitehelmet :
No, I'm better. Fuck the rest of these pansies. Send me your camera and not only will I send you back your pictures, I'll throw in some from my own collection. And I've got thousands. And I live in Chicago so that instantly gives me 1,000 bonus points. whitehelmet@diaryland.com
from miark :
miarkwells at hotmail. if there are cameras you still have, but they are reserved for others, consider blowing those others off and sending one to me instead. I'm better. Really, quite better. Wait... I'm thinking of bitter. I'm bitter. Sorry.
from eatdixx :
look how many sluts you write to, you dirty big hoe. moomoo@cliffhanger.com that's right, moomoo. fuxx.
from shellbell212 :
shellbell810@hotmail.com : )
from bluephonic :
email with spam filter: byates AtT emich ... edu
from x0lulu0x :
iheartnow@juno.com, darlin'.
from shellbell212 :
somebody else asked me to do that same exact thing. I lost contact with him though. On purpose. But it sounds interesting. Photos of just anything? I'm sure I could give you 27 exposures worth looking at.
from eatdixx :
yo penizzle face. it's tokyo. high. write to me you cizunt. xx
from fusco :
a bit of saturday night drink-and-dial is validating for all concerned. obviously, i'd never do it myself ...
from tokeyhoshock :
where is the penis, show me the penis.
from tokeyhoshock :
hi honey. i'm back.
from amorphous :
Whut up? I'm sure you've heard it all before, but your diary is the bomb. I'm in awe.
from miark :
your life is a total sinfest
from drunkencynic :
Miss your entries, luv.
from tokyo69 :
PAGING PENISFACE TO THE CAFETERIA. PENISFACE, TO THE CAFETERIA. YOUR PLATE IS ON FIRE.
from drunkencynic :
What if I say please?
from drunkencynic :
Aha, I see. Wanna get married? (see latest entry if that confuses you)
from x0lulu0x :
why does that not surprise me at all?
from elegantfreak :
Thank you. And in answer to your time questions, Yes. I both live in a different zone, and keep crazy hours. Something about 2AM makes me sad to waste it sleeping.
from drunkencynic :
Actually it has more to do with an older entry and is quite feminine in nature. But we can talk about Ewan McGregor's cock if you want.
from drunkencynic :
No C-cup for Chris, huh?
from drunkencynic :
I wondered if that was it. I'm so stoked I'm on your buddy list.
from drunkencynic :
Now honestly, darling, how on earth would I have gleaned THAT information? And why on earth would that information lower my expectations?
from sidhequeen :
Yikes! What a mean email. It may sound cliched (and I pride myself on not stooping to using cliches) but, "mean people suck."
from drunkencynic :
Unfortunately, I'd have to say your name is the deceiving factor. However, element of surprise is definitely a positive thing, I assure you.
from drunkencynic :
Quite brilliant. user/pass: seize/thecarp if you'd like to stop by.
from gypped :
imagine all the ugly people having sex you're going to have to imagine from now on to bring that up to par with the number of attractive people you've imagined having sex in the past. just you think about that, chris.
from gypped :
BUY MORE GAMES FROM NAMCO!
from tom-seb-jak :
So very glad that you are back.
from sacy :
I just discovered you, I am so glad I did. I'm rapt that another one of my favourites (tom) has left a note here too. I was sure I was going to hate everyone and everything about diaryland, but people like yourself make it enjoyable. I am adding you to my list (if you care). p.s. Unfortunately, I don't have any pills for you, nor do I have a dick you can suck. Sorry mate!
from enoki :
I have some pills I'll donate. I don't even expect any fellatio. email me your mailing address and we'll see if they go across the border. i_hate_americansAThotmailDOTcom
from tom-seb-jak :
helooo mister penisface, update...dont be one of those people that forget all about diaryland and move on...who moves on these days.....tom-seb-jak
from tom-seb-jak :
hey i quoted you in my diary, hope thats fine. If its not just tel me, ill take it off but youll go to hell. Anyway read my diary!!! thanx Tom :)
from tokyo69 :
:(
from gypped :
write about someone else? like, er... this is where it gets hard.
from gypped :
chri-is. that was meant to be sing-songy.
from x0lulu0x :
cowboyclubONLINE.com (but it's down right now). man, i totally busted up laughing.
from tokyo69 :
hi honey. i'm at brians. check your email re: phone number. a xx
from elegantfreak :
Damn. You have the aesthetically pleasing visage thing going on. Plus, you lip synch better than most professional pop musicians. Ever consider ditching this whole art thing for a career in mass entertainment? You could be the next Milli Vanilli - minus the dreads! Unless you want dreads... Have your people call my people... We'll Do Lunch. Ciao Baby!
from tokyo69 :
she left a note with a bang!
from soho-rain :
In actuality, I was merely reiterating a comment you had left for yourself several months ago. I wanted to see what type of reaction I would receive from a person who presents himself as a pretentious soul with little regard for the opinions of others, even if that opinion is exactly the same as your own.
from x0lulu0x :
ha. ha. brilliant, mr. palahunaka!
from gypped :
was that a challenge? I think we could arrange that.
from tokyo69 :
writing an entry like that is similar to how i imagine stabbing yourself the chest thirty times would feel.
from tokyo69 :
hahaha....
from gypped :
if you're still here, it's currently 9:23am on monday the 7th. right now.
from soho-rain :
this is the worst diary I have ever read
from tokyo69 :
well i would, but i don't have time this week.
from tokyo69 :
well yes, it is. i'm in melbourne, australia... long way away
from tokyo69 :
penisface. where in the world are you? i want to know time differences.
from tokyo69 :
the previous entry just listed more stupid arguments. i can't express the amount of frustration dating causes me. i wish i could just jump from stage to stage like this: locate suitable boy/girl. have dinner. check how they kiss. check if they have any rhythym. fuck. start a relationship or not. the end.
from tokyo69 :
but then if you don't let him use it, he'll know that you know that he has a problem. you'll make the unfortunate man feel bad.
from tokyo69 :
yeah hi, i'm having withdrawals, where are you?
from tokyo69 :
i need to stop backreading your diary and do my fucking work!
from tokyo69 :
i'm going to email you.
from x0lulu0x :
i, for real, love you.
from tokyo69 :
that entry made my heart race a little. its very confronting. but you're right. often i don't add up to what i write, i'm either a lot more, or a lot less.
from x0lulu0x :
i sure don't miss it.
from girlslife :
I like your diary penisface. As for the girls digging phone calls from ex boyfriends thing, its a tough one to decipher. on the one hand we ladies do enjoy being coveted by others (especially if they are good lays and or conversationalists), but sometimes it can be stressfull, especially if you have worked very hard to get over what ever fuck up the ex boyfrined imposed on you. If there is a new boy in the picture, definatley a bad idea to call. You tauruses are posessive, I think you are masking some deeper feelings. Besdies that, I like your diary, ad will read if often.
from girlslife :
I like your diary penisface. As for the girls digging phone calls from ex boyfriends thing, its a tough one to decipher. on the one hand we ladies do enjoy being coveted by others (especially if they are good lays and or conversationalists), but sometimes it can be stressfull, especially if you have worked very hard to get over what ever fuck up the ex boyfrined imposed on you. If there is a new boy in the picture, definatley a bad idea to call. You tauruses are posessive, I think you are masking some deeper feelings.
from greenfinch :
so i signed your guestbook. and thought i'd sign a note, too. i'm sorry about your dog. i'm sorry about your ex-girlfriend. in that order. -chris.
from chelsea4k :
hey... just wondering why you and diana broke up?
from gypped :
and what was your opinion on the previous girlfriends who liked you because you were just like a girl?
from x0lulu0x :
i want to talk to you now. i've wanted to talk to you all week. but after reading that i really want to talk to you. come find me sometime. (you're never there when i knock.)
from x0lulu0x :
you're right.
from sashababe456 :
hah wow your diary is so funny, i laughed so hard when i read some of your entrys
from freyalinx :
I went to that website and looked at those cards. They are hilarious. THat web site is pretty cool also, I'm yhinking about posting something on it......but yeah
from redsnowflake :
"I have learned one thing this semester: the more you learn about art the harder it is to make it."...aint that the TrewTh
from x0lulu0x :
i didn't even talk to you when you didn't have muscles.
from x0lulu0x :
no wonder it never showed up! you didn't list me on it. just go look.
from x0lulu0x :
listen. i'm down for coffee. always.
from dipso :
i agree
from penisface :
This is the worst diary I have ever read.
from chuna :
oh, best thing i've heard all day. (in reference to makeout club or just anything)
from x0lulu0x :
dear x0Chris0x, i x0hate0x you so x0much0x right now. more than i x0ever0x have x0before0x. which is a x0lot0x.
from freyalinx :
it's obviouse you like that girl...so do something about it, cause other wise nothing will ever happen
from anticrew :
of course sex can not "work"...think about how tight a 13 year old chinese girl must be to a well hung black man.
from x0lulu0x :
congratulations.
from x0lulu0x :
congratulations.
from x0lulu0x :
merry christmas!
from x0lulu0x :
oh my. we need to talk, don't we?
from x0lulu0x :
(i wish for people to stop taking my entry ideas.)
from freyalinx :
You are a really good writer...I kinda just stumbled onto your diary....your name kinda stuck out...but I'm glad I did.
from ryan8-5cut :
Great diary. I'm an artist with a penis realted name too. funny. Small. World.
from heartracer :
your diary is the shit. xo.
from x-pixie :
do you have an email address?
from x0lulu0x :
thinking that they are about anybody in particular is already jumping to a very flawed conclusion.
from x0lulu0x :
i just realized that you are a fantastik (with a k) writer.
from x0lulu0x :
how could he have been mad? did you tell him that you deleted all your porn?
from tinyangel87 :
u write beautifully. im a poet and songwriter, so i guess thats why i appreciate talent. ur truly amazing. congrats!! luv, *kym*
from tinyangel87 :
EMO IS ULTIMA!!!!

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