DiaryLand members area

thank you! <33 i was sooo happy to see you update, i've wondered so often how you're doing. thank you thank you, and i'm so happy for you too. relief and that feeling of freedom, of being cut loose from a stressful situation ... there's nothing like it! :)

from lanienaked :

haven't heard too much from you lately (ha, like I'm one to speak) how are you doing? :)

from atwowaydream :

Thank you! I would read to you if you were ever sick or just feeling shitty. I'm pretty good at doing the voices in Fairy Tales.

from tinea :

were we separated at birth or something? you could have plucked every word right out of my head. thank you for totally getting it!! especially the misery loves company part. i honestly believe that's one of the top motivators for parents who try to shame and guilt those of us who are internally motivated, independent thinkers into giving in and ruining our lives. don't even let me get started :) <33

from atwowaydream :

d'aww. that note meant a lot to me, Ash. diaryland hugs all over the place.

from retro-cat :

What exactly is "Maya"? i know i've heard of this, but i'm drawing a complete blank. Help a clueless girl,lol?

from lanienaked :

thanks i wish i could've had those cake and ice cream, but it's probably for the best as i need to cut back the sweets :X

from lanienaked :

omgggg i am soooo jealous.. also congrats of course :)

from retro-cat :

yay!! new Tegan & Sara..now you've got me all excited!

from retro-cat :

i totally agree with what you wrote! i think one of my fav. quotes ever in a film is what Seymour (Steve Buscemi) says in "Ghost World" when he is held up by baby traffic "why doncha have some more while you're at it!"..how i feel about this whole baby stuff is that there is now way i would want to bring a child into the way the world is now..what with the economy prices sky-high, the violence, school shootings, the beyond bullying, etc..etc..

from retro-cat :

yeah i couldn't believe how stupid they were reacting to that phone call, never questioning the fact that the cops never came, i would've said the same thing too, get down here & show me a badge..& the fact that people were stupid 70 times wherever the caller phoned them. that "beautiful losers" film sounds way cool, i'll look out for that one.

from lanienaked :

did I read this right..? did you get engaged?

from tinea :

!!!

from atwowaydream :

"i know is, when we spun the other direction, i was the only one in front and i danced my little heart out. so there." I'm so glad you did.

from atwowaydream :

you have my condolences, love. i never thought anyone would ever have a father similar to mine.

from atwowaydream :

Seriously. After your first Thanksgiving when you cook. . . we all become vegetarians. Sometimes we fuck up, but we're all vegetarians in our hearts, and that means something.

from loveherwell :

awh, thanks for the addition :D

from retro-cat :

high five to our super sensitive natures! :) haha..my boyfriend used to nag me constantly about the way i'd do things.

from tinea :

hey. thanks <3 i totally guzzle that sweet cow juice like it's going out of style, but i've never noticed a difference. i have to look into some ancient herbal concoctions or something. i think it's the only way!

from retro-cat :

i didn't know you're on lj too..what is your lj address?

from lanienaked :

wow. i can't imagine something like that happening to me. there's nothing i could say to appease c if he had seen me write something like that. i know he'll be thinking about the incident for years :x

from atwowaydream :

I have never tried to knit at all! But it seems to be this hipster thing, therefore, it must burn in the grave of forgotten pretentiousness like all of the other hipster things.

from atwowaydream :

O my god, i'm so ugly, lolz, here's 786 pictures of me in 78 albums, also how does my ass look? I totally understand what you mean. It's okay to be working on your self-confidence, but working on it to garner facebook likes and fishing for compliments is just downright annoying. "I look so ugly in this pic, what do you think lolz?" Sometimes I just want to reply, "Yeah, you've looked better, now go stick something up your twat so you'll be temporarily away from facebook."

from lostasyou :

Hahahaha, I did say at the time I bet it would've been much more interesting if I was on drugs. Goddamn. What a load of shit.

from retro-cat :

happy birthday to ya!! hope you have a groovy day! oh yeah weed..i went to an alice cooper concert with a friend a while back & we sat in front of people who were smoking weed & man oh man, did i feel great from the smell, i breathed in that awesome air for 2 hours & it really is great stuff although i've never actually done drugs.

from retro-cat :

Yay!! i'm glad to help :)

from atwowaydream :

not nearly as well as putting it up your nose, though.

from lanienaked :

hah, be lucky you have that much. i'll never be able to lucid dream... or even come close!

from retro-cat :

yeah i know what you mean about lucid dreams..yours sounds way better than mine tho..i usually dream of being chased by wolves with the face of dragons.

from lanienaked :

but lettuce is soooo delicious.......

from retro-cat :

Thanks for what you wrote :) ha, we would totally rule the world, wouldn't we?:) and yay to cottage cheese!!

from retro-cat :

I know exactly how you feel..i am a social retard too and proud of it :) i gave up a long time ago trying to find people with the same interests online coz they just didn't want to be friends with me. When i was at college, i met some girls who i had many things in common with and i was happy to find friends, same thing when i was at the work place, and i wanted to continue the friendship after work or after school, but i got the feeling that they didn't want that, so once again, i was on my own..its sooo fucking hard to find friendships these days!!! Unfortunately, all my high school friends moved away, or we moved apart, like with my best friend since grade 2, she got married and that was it, she changed so much, i figured that i never changed, its people around me who did. It really sucks, coz most people stay friends with their high school friends for life, i was unlucky again in that department :( Most of the time, films that depict friendships turn out so unrealistic to me, i can't relate at all..thats why i watch indie films, at least i can relate to those characters in them, i'm soo much Enid from Ghost World! Even when i find people who are into the art field like me, they seem to already have their own circle of friends and i feel like i'm some kind of intruder..it really sucks! i figure if God doesn't want me to have friends, then so be it, i'm totally drained from trying!

from lanienaked :

oh man.. take it from me: an expert on feeling shitty after being on facebook: DON'T EVER GO ON IT... I hate facebook so much and pretty much for every reason you stated. i have been having a great couple years since i moved out of my parents and it's not reflected on my facebook page at all. I feel like if I were to put out what i'd been doing to the world, everyone would judge me and think that what i'd been doing is not good enough, but I know that as long as I enjoyed it, IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH! plus, whenever i get on facebook, i spend too much time and always walk away feeling miserable. why go on it at all! as to your cousins, you could talk to them again to see if it feels the same? at least if it doesn't, it'll help you bring some closure. i had a friendship in high school that i thought about all the time, wondering if it could be the same again. i became friends with her again, but it was not the same and i was diappointed, but at least i'm still not wondering about it today...

from atwowaydream :

i grew up with my cousins like that, too. time is this little whore, but i want her to love me.

from atwowaydream :

How could anyone NOT accept dandelion fuzz?!

from retro-cat :

thank you :) it sounds like you are going through something bad..i hope things work out for you! i send you some groovy cheers + hugs!

from retro-cat :

you are a sweetheart, thank you so much for what you said. i guess i was just down in the dumps at that time. i've always been reading your journal too even tho i don't drop a comment coz im usually off somewhere in a hurry, but yeah, anyways i do love your lava lamp on your page, so cute! thanks again. :)

from fairybones :

aww, i don't remember you ever weirding me out with anything! haha. but yeah, you can definitely continue reading along. just shoot me an email ([email protected]) and i'll send you the password info. <3

from nessus :

Hrm. I tend to be rather oblivious to that sort of symbolism. Hell, I even managed to miss it in the Narnia movie (to me he was just Lion Neeson!). I wonder if it might be too broad, sometimes, though. I mean, almost any vaguely savior-like figure can be interpreted as Jesus Christ, no matter how many people he beheads. And really, the image of Jesus Christ mauling someone to death (Narnia) is pretty hilarious.

from tinea :

ha! that's adorable ... or should i say, adorkable? ;)

from atwowaydream :

eep! Aim me sometime, brat. I don't want to bother anyone, so mainly I just don't bother to IM them unless I'm beyond drunk. Anyway, yes, dandelion fuzz! There's something about it that makes me feel like being friends with the world.

from atwowaydream :

i feel like i should have a matching shirt first. or pizza. or april. but yes, pictures should always prove things!

from atwowaydream :

rented this movie the other night that was luscious and beautiful and realized that it looked so damn familiar because I had seen your diaryland html background.

from lanienaked :

i bet you are perfect as you are. you don't have to be girly. :p

from lanienaked :

i'm trying to weed through the leeches and not having much luck :/

from lanienaked :

i'm bad at being girly too. have always been a tomboy. i don't watch the news so i usually have no clue what's going on. it's probably better that in way in a sense. i think what you said is true, that it's fascinating to think about the different lifeforms, and all the crazy stuff in space. i think what scares me about it is that when you bring the subject of space into it, it makes everything we do feel so diminished. our whole society could be wiped out and it would be like an ant colony that got destroyed: in the scheme of things, nothing really changed, even thought we would want to say, but everything changed! and i find that scary

from acuteapathy :

Oh you're welcome. Its nice to see someone appreciates their music. Especially when it took to me weeks to refund that video and miss urea to write that little two liner. :)

from tinea :

i really can't even comment on one particular thing, because we totally speak the same language. and we completely understand each other. because i know what it's like too! to know there's a better move but to not make it. but for people like us, we REALIZED that it wasn't getting us anywhere and did something about it! it's just so weird to me. how long does anyone need to feel horrible before it's enough? why do some people seem to willingly PUSH AWAY the very things they endlessly claim to want?

from tinea :

thanks, dude! your note made me feel so much better, i swear. i just kept reading it and realized that yeah, it really IS incredible! i just wish i could stop being so critical of myself, and stop minimizing my accomplishments. and though i wish i could tell you that you were being silly for getting offended, i would have been too! we creative people are so much our ideas and our personalities that lame almost seems like the worst kind of insult sometimes. but don't worry, you're not. there's way too much awesome stuff floating around in your head :)

from takenbytrees :

Thank you, I was pretty close with my grandma.

from lanienaked :

i feel like i should write it out though, because sometimes i want to read back, and if i don't make a point to write it out, i usually forget it ever happened. andrew hasn't responded back to my email, so i don't know if i'll get a new diary :( i don't know what that program was but i don't think that was it. haha, space makes life scary. i don't think it helps me lighten up at all. if you ever come to ca though, i bet we could have fun, maybe get high haha.

from fairybones :

aw, that's heartbreaking about jeremy, i'm sorry. he was definitely a handsome little bugger though, if he looked like my judas! i'll have to share some more photos of him some time. <3

from atwowaydream :

aw. thank you. really. sometimes nightmares can be like being domed in gloom and doom.

from lanienaked :

thanks. sorry i haven't been around. :S

from tinea :

for some reason i just got your comment from 2 weeks ago!? it just appeared. but thank you for it, because it makes me feel a little less alone in these things. some people have never been told that they can't, that their dreams are stupid and unattainable despite obvious passion and drive. it's hard to relate a lot of times, and it's even harder to shrug off the belittling to be able to focus and stop doubting yourself. so thank you, again. and i know you're going to make it, too. we both want it bad enough.

from alienamiss :

Mmm. The new template is tr�s cuuuute.

from swimmmer72 :

consider it done! not a problem - I hope things are going alright for you, too! :)

from tinea :

SO happy to read this. so happy you're so happy. truly.

from lostasyou :

You're very good, because I often feel like I don't to leave the house hahaha. Thanks for the comment, I never actually thought about any of that stuff. And that little comment at the end ;) ha!

from lostasyou :

Thanks so much again for another lovely note, I only just saw it! Makes me feel so much better to come on here and see such nice words written for me from genuine nice people :) makes it all worth it in the end, doesn't it :) xx

from lostasyou :

Ahhh you nearly made me cry hah! Thanks so much for that note, it was really nice :) it's nice to have so much support even if it is from little notes on a website. I think it will get better soon.. little steps as you say. I don't need to keep using that stuff to make me feel better because in the end it just makes me worse.. blah. I've seen doctors, got my tests done, waiting to see if anything comes back. Better than just sitting around ignoring all the aches and pains I suppose ;) yeah I think next year is going to improve. I don't want to be like this anymore, it's not fun. Thanks again, you made me smile :) ♥

from atwowaydream :

yay for fuckin' splendid songs.

from atwowaydream :

eep. thank you. very much so.

from atwowaydream :

me and you, kid. ;)

from tinea :

wow, what a song.

from lanienaked :

happy birthday. i'm glad joey got a job. i don't think you should burn your journals no matter what. i'm mortified by some of the things i said when i was younger, but i wouldn't burn it.

from lanienaked :

Hmm I guess that's the down side of traveling a lot. Nowhere to feel like home. I kinda remember how that goes, even though I didn't even travel anywhere far.

from lanienaked :

It must be because he's that asshole that you want for some reason but don't know why. Everyone experiences this. But since at least you know logically he's bad for you, don't get your hopes up and don't go chasing after him. That road does not lead to happiness. I always thought you lived in the east coast. I thought maybe new york. why are you moving around so much? and how do you still remember that i live in ca, jeez. i guess you're taking online classes since your school's in ca? i didn't know you could do that for art classes. i would love to travel and see everything too but... time and money -- too damn elusive in life

from tinea :

there are a few of you i hope i rub off on, even if it's just a tiny bit. you don't deserve feeling crappy, ever. <3

from lanienaked :

haha i'm glad you understand it, even though i don't think that's possible. i'm going to try and write more polished. hey, i've always been curious, where do you live?

from lanienaked :

on the bright side, your entry made me laugh. i don't have any comforting words though, because once you start fighting more and more, it's hard for both parties to stop and really look at what's wrong. usually at least one person is not cooperative. i'd suggest you stop saying things that will get him mad at you for the time being--even if it's supposed to be helpful advice.

from lostasyou :

Going on my buddy list :)

from lanienaked :

most of my experience with pot has been that i can't seem to focus haha. i could imagine a little bit could help with art. you should do the webcomic. it sounds like it's a smaller project than a book. writing a book seems so daunting. i started this 2 years ago, but i've only really started to work on it recently. i've been trying a lot harder than i did before. what you're saying is probably true, but it's hard to enjoy the ride when it seems like there's too many stops. anyway, i'm working on it, a lot now, and that's what counts. i may start sharing chapters soon.

from lanienaked :

hm i didn't know you were doing pot everyday. that must be hard to focus.

from atwowaydream :

Ha! I read your journal a little while ago, and thought, "hmm, I'm not the only one. . ." Perhaps we will give her a lobotomy.

from swimmmer72 :

Gotcha! It'll be a week or so, best guess, put I'll send you a key. :)

from atwowaydream :

OOh, Journey to the Edge of the Universe. . . sounds nom nom and I will be watching it soon. Yay for black holes.

from swimmmer72 :

Ironic - I just started a laundry load and come upstairs and there's your entry! I have some of the same types in my building. Mind you, I'm pretty conscientious and am changing/removing my laundry within a minute of the end of the cycle about 98% of the time and always within 5 minutes. About 2/3 of the building (15 apartments) is pretty good, but all it takes is one asshole to screw things up. Yeah, part of my conscientiousness is meant to avoid what just happened to you.

from alienamiss :

The weird thing about this junior stoner thing is how little it impacted my social life; all my stoner friends think it's too fucking weird to get high with me. But then, wouldn't you think that, too, if you had a friend who tripsitted sober for 7 years?

from atwowaydream :

oh my gosh. thank you so much. like, seriously. he's lying next to me now, and reading your comment really made me feel like i was a good owner, and i needed that. ♥

from retro-cat :

i love documentaries a lot, especially ones to do with the earth and animals. it sucks that the teach gave you that mark, hope you can straighten things out. good-luck to you! and magenta is a great colour for hair!!!! i've had pink and blue hair before, thats coz i'm forever idolizing cyndi lauper :)

from atwowaydream :

Dude, documentaries rock. I love watching any on the universe; everything explodes and pulls into another gravity. It's all so tragic and beautiful.

from retro-cat :

sounds like the same problem i've had with my art teachers..gawd they really are all alike!

from retro-cat :

oh no, you just reminded me that i'm missing the Beatles reunion special on Larry King, it would've been Lennon's 70th birthday.

from lanienaked :

haha. i have no clue who/how we'll get it either. i think our friend knows some people because he's done it before. i have never known any of the right people to find the drugs haha.

from lanienaked :

c says no acid til things are more "calm" i would tell you what that means but it would be a lot of explaining... so no acid for at least 2 or 3 months probably :(

from lanienaked :

haha that seems like a lot to digest. i'll try the acid and see where it goes from there.. :) but i honestly don't smoke pot that much. hahaha i just remembered the last time i ate some firecrackers, i was high the whole day. it was really funny when i think about it now. i couldn't concentrate on doing anything hahaha.

from lanienaked :

hmm i've actually heard a lot about other people's experience, and i'm not worried about the experience itself, i'm more worried about it being harmful, but everyone's been telling me it's not. so i might try it, once i can have my friend to get some. on the other hand, i've heard very bad thigns about ecstacy, i dont think i will try that. i hear it leaves holes in your brain and i don't want to do anything that damages me physcially, plus i hear ecstacy is addictive. i don't want to try something known to be addictive. i really don't know much about shrooms though. is it harmful and/or addictive?

from lanienaked :

have you done acid before this? i've been really curious to try it. i used to be this uptight person and didn't want to try stuff like that, but after trying pot and realizing it was harmless and a lot of fun, i've been considering acid for the same reason. i hear it's also harmless and a lot of fun. agree/disagree? do you do any other drugs?

from lanienaked :

omg. i know exactly how you feel. i sometimes wonder if i will take it out on him a little too far when i can't help but see that i pay for almost evertyhing..

from atwowaydream :

Should there be trench-coats involved?

from atwowaydream :

His name is Crawl, and he thanks you for the compliment.

from swimmmer72 :

Was that Nelson Ledges? I've been there - it is a great place! We have another place very similar to it, just over the NY state line called Panama Rocks. Also, a nice place to explore! :)

from junkblog :

hi there

from alienamiss :

Did I fail to tell the title? It's called "Bill Hicks: Agent of Evolution". So far, I'm about 2/3 done it, and I have serious mixed feelings.

from lanienaked :

Wow, that entry totally reminded me of me and a certain *ahem* someone that i have obsessed over. but i think i've come to accept the terms or the cards that i was dealt, and i realized that i am already stuck with what i have. i have been engrossing over the past and what if and what could bes for the first year or a little over a year that i've been with c, and in that time i was not really closer to finding out the truth of the matter. in the end i realized, it all came down to what mattered to me most and if i was going to take a risk with my cards. and in the end i realized, there were lots of good things about c that i loved that i wouldn't risk it for some unknown relationship that may or may not work. and yes i do think about him, probably especially because it's an unknown relationship, but i am happy in my resolve because i know it's not worth the risk, i dont let any of it bother me because i always believe that i have my next lifetime for my do over, but i am happy already with the choice i made in this lifetime.

from bibles :

Wow I hope everything works out for your boyfriend!

from atwowaydream :

i really am sorry about black navigator, i had an experience with a tiny stray i called parkway billy, and i know how hard it is not to be able to save something. but your heart was there, and sometimes that's the most important thing.

from alienamiss :

I'm a-okay with the materials I have. If I had a partner to talk with, this would go faster, I presume. I'm whipping my way through this pretty well.

from alienamiss :

Rosetta Stone? Isn't that more a audio-verbal thing? I'm more a visual learner, when it comes to languages. I gotta admit the major flaw in my plan: I'm not learning Jap for the verbal end; I care more for the written side. My tissue-issue is that kanji is so complicated that it makes my eyes tired. I'm debating glasses. If I were to master Jap, it'd be more to read, or watch anime, or chat online. My verbal skills are low enough IN ENGLISH, so, I have little faith with being understood in a second language.

from lanienaked :

wow i am really liking the new layout. did you draw it? on a totally different note, you make it sound as if you and joey broke up? you are/were with him right? or was i just following incorrectly?

from atwowaydream :

at least eating chemicals makes movies like Waking Life even more existential.

from alienamiss :

Sweet. That makes it all the more spiffy.

from alienamiss :

Man. I fuckin' LOVE that template image.

from ohitsdora :

hi!

from lanienaked :

sry to hear about your eviction. nice drawing though!

from lanienaked :

i didn't know you knew who your burgler was... why didnt' you do somethign?

from lanienaked :

i actually have to wonder... since you're not very descriptive about most of your entires, when you go back and read them, do you still knwo what they're about? cause a lot of the times i go back to my old entries that aren't descriptive and i have NO IDEA what it was about lol

from lanienaked :

but wont he just steal the camera? or is it a small hidden one?

from lanienaked :

wooowwww. that's why you need to buy one of those security things for your laptop. i couldn't imagine if mine got stolen >.>

from swimmmer72 :

That really sucks! Where do you live that you get robbed so much, i.e., inner city, campus??? Can you move or are you stuck there?

from swimmmer72 :

Re: a love story. Very very nice. I think I could watch that over and over again, and probably will. Thank you for sharing! :)

from lanienaked :

this is a few entries late, but omg, my bf has been telling me about this uberman sleep thing and he says he's gonna try it out winter quarter.

from lanienaked :

happy birthday!

from lanienaked :

omg right? c's been saying i'm crazy and that everyone dreads having a cubicle and they want their own desk. (i have my own desk in my very own cubicle though)

from lanienaked :

i realize all of what you said. i think i have control of my life, what i don't have control of is me.

from lanienaked :

why'd you use one of the default templates... :(

from lanienaked :

i'm glad you're okay. i was kinda worried something had happened to u.

from lanienaked :

i'm not sure which entry u were referring to. they were both emails, one to someone, and the second a response to mine, so i didn't write the second entry. as for the boyfriend, it sounds like you're a lot more sure about him than i am about mine. i don't know what to think these days. at least you still know from right and wrong.

from lanienaked :

why is your notes link broken? are you having doubts about your current boyfriend too? :(

from lanienaked :

i'm the same way i think, a lot of times i just want my own space and to be left alone. and also, me and c fight probably just as much as you do.. at least be relieved in the fact that you are not allowed in this department.

from lanienaked :

hahaha.. i get a lot hornyer during my period than any other time... which sucks cause it's messy :X

from mlolley92 :

hi! i was just wondering if you could possibly help me out? i'm new.

from thisisjohn :

you should read "Getting The Love You Want", it will change your life and help you sort out so much. It did for me anyways.

from annachan :

hate*

from annachan :

why did you change your template? i liked your old one. also i have fsdesigns. everyone from that site just steals codes from other people. they just change a picture and add a couple line of code and call it theirs.

from annachan :

didn't know u were still around :o

from such-a-liar :

thanks, i needed to hear that :)

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