messages to cherryjjones:
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from somaserious :
Christmas is always chaos, but happily so. We have it at my parent's home where sis plus fam, bro and possibly his Jewish g-friend (at least we know she'll always be available for X-mas! And she's too cute!), grandparents (dad's parents only since mom's died a very long time ago), my MIL and me and the fam. Whew. It's mostly kiddie chaos, but that's fun. I just love the warmth of family and the tree and the soft lighting. Oh, and the food...of course! What about you? It's so much fun now that Griff is older and can start to feel the magic. Yeah, irritability sucks btw, and I completely forgot about the withdrawal period. Here I was blaming it on the Nuvaring... cheers and kisses, soms
from somaserious :
OH, Cherry, so glad to hear that therapy is going well. I must apologize for not noting more...anyway, I completely understand the whole clean thing. We've been staying with a friend one night a week so that Griff can see his daddy up north (where he works on the weekends) and I just want to sanitize the entire house! It's just okay clean, but really needs a good scrubbing. How do you keep your secret secret when you just need to clean. And not offend? Ugh, it's a lot of work, GAD... smooch, soma
from somaserious :
WOOHOO!!!! You must feel so incredible, so validated! I really, really, really hope this is it for you because you deserve it cherry dear! Have fun, smile a lot. xoxoxosoma
from boombasticat :
That's fantastic. Can't wait to hear more about it.
from somaserious :
Hey, thanks! It was such a great thing to do. I feel so weird...having a black belt and all. It's such a responsibility. I'm sorry to hear of all the crappy things happening, but change is good. At least I hope this change for you is good. To hang onto something that doesn't make you happy is not a really good thing to do. Been there, done that. There's a difference between being comfortable and being happy, hmm? I hope this is the beginning of lightness in your life! xoxo, soma
from somaserious :
Yes, so nice to be back and feel so alive!!! You are so mean...hee,hee. Talking about the old boss you met. Sometimes it's nice to get that gratification. Griffyn will come into our bed, too. It's nice when it's not in the middle of the night and then my arms fall asleep because he cuddles with me. But I still love it regardless. Good luck with therapy. Hope it's thoroughly therapylicious. xxoo, soma
from for-tart :
fat, smooth, heavy stone on my tongue... You have a unique turn of phrase. I even felt it.
from somaserious :
Ha! I'm laughing so hard right now! Thanks for the giggles. That was so fucking funny! Thank you for the "words of wisdom" o wise cherry blossom. I already feel sharper and more alert, which is so nice. This time I don't have that shortness of breath feeling; feel much more grounded in this decision. Again, ha! xxoosoms
from somaserious :
"Bring out the gimp"...it will make you feel oh so much better. Yup, I really, really, really wish we were closer geographically. Someone to share stories with on a regular basis in person, eating yummy cookies, helping each other get through the tough GAD days. Oh well, this will suffice, hmmm? xxoosoms
from for-tart :
Chase the dream now. Life is fleeting.
from somaserious :
Wow, I haven't read in quite a while and so much is changing in your crazy world. All I can say is go for it. Do what makes you happy because to deny that only makes things worse. Follow those instincts to what makes you shine and other "shining" moments will follow. I'm so glad you've decided to be true to yourself. Why be involved in a miserable situation that is most likely to get even more miserable? It's no fun to be with someone who checks out all the time by getting high. It's irresponsible and completely disrespectful of you and your children. You are not only giving yourself freedom, you're giving them freedom, too. Oh, good luck my sweet!!! Many hugs and kisses your way and crossed fingers and toes. Smooch, soma
from somaserious :
Hey, chicky!!! Yeah, it's been hard to write all that I want to write lately. Yesterday I started this great entry and then something went screwy with the laptop and it was deleted...argh. By that time I just wanted to go home. So, today I have time to post and will do so! Thanks for the "you rock"!! It made me smile. I've also been meaning to write you sooner...wow, two people interested in your book. You must be ecstatic!!! That's awesome!!! How nice it must feel to have people like what you are passionate about. It's good for the ego. Glad to hear you are well, and I promise a post!! xxoosoma
from boombasticat :
That's fantastic. Blow that agent's socks out through her shoes.
from somaserious :
eGADs....yup, it's not fun at all. Very interesting about women with GAD being three times more likely not to have interest in sex with their partner...hmmm, sounds very familiar. GAD runs in my family, I've mentioned that before. Has there been a genetic link yet? With Lexapro I feel so much more complete and functional and not at all zoned out. My father is on 25mg a day!!! I was shocked to hear it. But, he's still drinking while taking the med...not a very good thing, but what can you do. At least he's not an angry drunk... anyway, it's comforting when you can place your finger on something that has been so elusive in your life. Good to hear that you are working through this...and that your not preggers. smooch, soms
from somaserious :
Hello, my sweet... I've been on vacation this week and just did not feel like writing. But, I'm still alive and still myself. Ooo, hope you do not have a bun. PP is not a happy place to terminate. I had that experience seven years ago and it felt so cold and "experimental" (like people in lab coats surrounding you taking notes to see how you reacted to stimuli that was uncomfortable). It was not pleasant on so many levels, as you well know. And you have an IUD...not unheard of to get pregnant, but pretty impossible. I send you my warmest hugs and kisses in the hopes it all passes without any trauma. smooch, soma
from boombasticat :
Thanks very much for your kind words. It's heartening to hear that words sounding good to my ear sound good to someone else's, too. I've put down my collection, for now. I wrote kind of a prologue and an epilogue that I hope tie everything together, but I think that, unless I get a lot smarter in a hurry, further tinkering would be detrimental. My gut tells me that the collection is polished but that it's not real sell-able. I am working on a second manuscript, a straight-ahead memoir about my first year of college (girls, drugs, sex, police, booze, maybe some studying). It's taken me a while to find the voice and the angle and all that, but I like it so far. I hope it's got some kind of heart to it. I've found that's all I can really ask of myself. Anything else is just aiming. Sorry to talk about myself so much, but thanks for asking. And you? Got anything you're excited about?
from somaserious :
Curioser and curiouser.... Yup, hope that I'm on the right path anyway!!! Feels good so far. As for Lexapro, I've decided to bag it and start taking it again. Just being on 5mg a day was a disaster. My brain just isn't ready, I'm just not ready. There's way too much stress right now for me to be floating in the breeze without my safety net. I'm too scared of the consequences. Maybe when things settle a bit, maybe. Perhaps some brains just need that something extra to function normally? Am I just talking out of my anus? Perhaps, but it sounds pretty good to me! Anyway, I'm about to update!!! Yay me! smooch, soma
from somaserious :
I am THE WORST at calling and talking on the phone, mostly because when I have the time, the last thing I want to do is have this thing stuck to me ear, even though I really want to talk to the person. Crazy... Yeah, going off the 'pro. My lady nurse, who is a midwife but since I'm not pregnant I'm not sure what to call her, suggested that it was time for me to let it go. She's extremely holistic and just felt it was the best thing for me to do. I'm taking baby steps and need to start making time for meditation. That really helps me. Not so much yoga, I'm more into the martial arts and yoga just doesn't fit into my life right now, although I'll do some of the stretches now and then. Anyhoo, smiles and giggle for you!!
from somaserious :
Oh, T passed away, that makes me so incredibly sad. And at 49! That's too young. I could go on and on about the injustice of cancer, about the how ludicrously random it is, but I won't. This isn't my diary. So, I've begun the weaning process with the Lexapro. The thing is, the drug only enhances who you are, doesn't replace who you are, at least for me. I don't feel that it inhibits too much. Most of the time I feel light and floaty, without the anxiety hamster going full blast. I'm really afraid of that, but it's time to manage it (hopefully) with natural means: meditation. So, I commiserate with your worries in that department. And also with not feeling wanted, though that has gotten better. What is it with women and their desires and how so completely different they are from what men want. It's a miracle we get involved with the opposite sex at all when most of the time we are just trying to figure each other out and find some middle ground! Phew, off soap box now. Thanks for your note. I'm sad that we didn't get to connect. Maybe next time...smooch,soma
from pyroguysr :
I noticed that you were one of Tony's (T85225) friends. Perhaps you read his blogs about his battle with cancer. I'm sad to report that he succumbed and passed away this week at age 49. He was a good online friend of mine and will be sorely missed. I've left some details in the notes section of his D-land diary.
from somaserious :
So, did my email get to you with the number? I'm not sure if we will be doing touristy things. I'm sure we'll go to the beach. My brother-in-law's children have school during the week, so I'm not sure what we will be doing while they are there. Hopefully relaxing in the sun. Anyway, hope all is well in your world...
from somaserious :
Yes, I'll send off number soon. I love "Electric" by the Cult and always forget that I love it. Time to do some downloading...that was one of my favorite albums in high school. The lead singer is curiously sexy.. Love your stuff! I love to read about people, see who they are, etc. I'm an avid people watcher when in a crowded place. So much so that sometimes I prefer watching to talking. ciao, soma
from somaserious :
Ah, Cherry, the ever-questing lady. I commiserate with your frustrations to an extent. The binding, I don't feel as much, but yours is definitely the mummifying type. Reminds me of what happened to this woman, Celestine, in Clive Barker's book "Imajica". If you haven't read it (it's a long one) or have no intention of reading it, let me know and I'll tell you her story. Your story is a bit sad right now, I hope you find some brightness today. soma
from somaserious :
I'm not sure what part of Valencia, but Valencia, CA nonetheless. The zip is 91354 if that helps. I'll get directions!!! That would be the coolest thing ever!!! I'm really, really excited to get together. Yes, definitely have the boys play. Griffyn and LB would have so much fun. My boy loves older kids, though I don't think that LB is that much older than 2, right? No, I'm not using Mederma since the outward scarring is barely noticeable. It's the lumpiness on the inside that I'll have to massage out. But, that will subside, too. We'll have to exchange cell phone numbers clandestinely somehow so we can plan our adventures. Thanks for the websites, I'll be checking them out posthaste!! smooches and hugs, soma
from somaserious :
Ha! Bury-more. I just got it. How dense is that?!!! Hey, is SF really far from LA? I'm pretty clueless when it comes to Cali geography. I'm going to be in LA on May 9 until May 15. Well, Valencia, actually. But, I have a feeling that SF is quite far from LA...hope your trip to NY was fab!! smooch
from somaserious :
The "100 things" is just random things, whatever you want to say about you that you wouldn't necessarily put in your entries. It's just whimsical and fun and could possibly make you dig a little into your psyche. Scary!!! I was on the tip of the psyche 'cause I'm not sure I want to dive that far in just yet... Yeah, I know about the sex stuff with men, the dis-interest. It's freaking me out. Not the idea of being with a woman in a relationship (that actually sounds really, really nice), but the whole what would that mean to my marriage, etc. I don't want to get messy, thus the comfort thing...I should talk, hmm? It's always been in the back of my mind and I've run acros a few women lately who make me stop and go hmm, she's really cool. ugh. It's pretty frustrating and just not something I can handle right now. At least I'm aware of it. Good to hear that your job is relatively light and airy. Quite a change, I'm sure. And, swank away, chica!!! Party sounds fun, and you probably need it. Who knows, maybe some mystery woman would walk through the door and the "eyes across the room" could happen... smooch.
from somaserious :
Hey, Cherry. Just writing a note of hello. I know what you mean about life sucking things...they really suck. And about DH...a question...is it worth sacrificing your eventual happiness by staying in the relationship you are in now? I don't mean to cross an uncomfortable boundary, it's just that sometimes comfort isn't such a good thing. Did you like "300"? I thought it was so beautiful and raw and bloody. Hope all is swell with you, dearie.. smooch, soma
from somaserious :
Yay, a bouquet and tea!!! Thank you so much!!! Hopefully I'll be back writing by the end of the week if only for an update. Things will go very smoothly....
from somaserious :
Thanks for the well-wishes, cherry. I'm pretty nervous...pain is such a PERCEPTION, but it's still nothing I want to experience for long periods of time. Yes, you must see "300". I was so overwhelmed and must see it again. Any movie with incredible fight scenes just makes my blood rush. I must have been a warrior in a past life, weilding swords and fists and feet. By the way, you don't whine or complain in your entries. They are very true to you, very honest...
from somaserious :
Oooo, tough, tough, tough. I just said that to myself after I read your entry. Ugh. Hate those places we can go to sometimes. Those places of dispair and shortness of breath. That standing-on-th-edge-of-a-cliff feeling, that "I'm drowning" feeling. I wish I were closer so that I could give you the biggest sqeeze ever. It's so fucking hard to be in a place with no one close, with no one to lean on when you need to. I hope your day will be better today. I'll send you lots of kisses and shoulder rubs....soma
from somaserious :
As for the communal living thing, we would all have an equal share in the house and would all pay in an equal share. To join this house, you need to come into it with $18,000, and then start paying into the equity. I believe we all are named on the deed. Yes, it could get complicated, but this group is not hard to deal with and the "lead" guy, David, is very, very smart in the financial scene and had this all worked out very carefully. Should be interesting. Sure, you could save a spot in your castle!!! That would be wicked fun... smooch
from somaserious :
Oh, Cherry, you will be missed. Don't stray for too long. You are one of the few diaries that I read religiously since your stuff is so like my stuff...it's nice to commiserate. Yes, I'm a very multi-layered lady, just call me a Bermuda onion (you know, the sweet ones). It's fun to have a lot of layers, but I'd rather be like flaky pastry than a brick wall...
from somaserious :
Thank you for that silly, very funny b-day card! My sibs and I used to do "the chinny man" when we were little. So much fun!!! You made me laugh. I think you...my sister sent me a screaming banshee ecard. It's from Hallmark and you should check it out. Hope life is happy today!!! smooch
from somaserious :
Oh, life. I so understand about all the chemical woes. Sometimes it can be so difficult to discern what is what. And, the neglected housepet! Yes! I feel like one of those, too. Does DH like oral on himself? It's sad that he cannot provide that for you since it's such a wonderful thing...no wonder you crave that (is that the right word?). Hope things are a little fluffier today.
from somaserious :
Your "farewell boobage" cupcake is awesome!!! Giggle, hee, hee, hee. I was thinking of doing something similar myself. It would probably be a very good idea to say farewell to part of me...send her off well. Have to go, will write more later. smooch
from somaserious :
You make a great point, my friend. I think the SSRI's ARE for counter-acting the significant other crazies. Yes, Geoffrey can be very hard to live with due to his moodines extremes. He's a hard man to peg, with much internal distress. It makes me sad to see him so conflicted, so sad, so bitter. He's very sarcastic and can be caustic at times as well. But I love him dearly and he makes me laugh (and he's good with the nookie, too ;)). Anyway, we have upswings, then a downswing, then an upswing....kind of like swinging! yay, fun.... yes, more sledding today, but it's cloudy and a bit snowy. I bet you can't wait to get back to CO! hugs, soma
from boombasticat :
Words as weeds: I like it. I've always thought of writers as drug dealers, doling out fixes. I think this is because when I read a great story or poem, I get chills, and then I remember that chill when I sit down again with a book and am disappointed when I don't get it.
from somaserious :
Friend can help with some, but not all...that's okay with me. It was a littel weird talking with her about it and I got so nervous!!! Yes, made it home fine. It was crazy! I was following my Dad home since he was leaving work early, too. Man, what we do for $130...that's what I made for two massages. Anyway, it's so blizzardy outside, windy!! I love the fund raising idea...will have to talk with the G man about that. Smooch, Soma
from somaserious :
Yeah, I checked out short-term disability and unfortunately it won't work. Pre-existing condish....sucks! I'm asking my friend today for $$. I feel a little weird, but I don't think there will be too much trouble with that, at least that's what I'm thinking. You know, I put together entries in my head all day! Sometimes I have to call myself back from them while I'm massaging. It's a sickness....Check out the "February Fury" on weather.com if you get a chance. Crazy snow here today!!! Blizzard...
from boombasticat :
I've been thinking a lot about your idea. My first reaction is twofold: either no way or you're really onto something. One thing that could happen is that I'd wreck the individual essays but the other is that you could be exactly right and perhaps your suggestion will give it just enough unity. My gut tells me that it's a very smart suggestion. I'm still thinking about it, thinking about what the unifying thing/person/idea could be. I've toyed with small, spliced chapters between the essays. Thanks very much for getting me going and I appreciate you taking the time to drop me an idea.
from somaserious :
Nice "The The" reference, deary. Great line for when you're down and hopeful. Stay hopeful. Scary cliff, hmm? Funny how when you have intentions to write something in diaryland it just morphs into something else completely. Cool, though, I must say. Yes, I have plenty of others who support my reduction, actually everyone else that I know. I think Geoffrey is just scared that I'll be incapacitated and he'll have to carry the torch for both of us for a little while. He has lots of issues with one parent "dropping the ball" so to speak. But, I'm not about to drop anything and do not foresee my son being completely traumatized by this. Hope you are having fun today. I can't get that squishy eyeball noise out of my head. That's so gross!!! Hey, you should read King's newest, "Lisey's Story". I'm almost done and it's great. But, I'm a fan and in my eyes he can do no wrong. That's really sad about Christopher Moore. I was planning on reading him next. Not anymore. Damn men. They think they are so clever, but inside they are all just boys showing off to get some ass...
from somaserious :
Yeah, controller/controllee, maybe my new path into domination/submission? I don't think so. I'm so resistant to changing my point of view when it's already set in stone. Geoffrey definitely plays the parent to my child, though it was the other way around when we were first together. He was very much the child and me the parent. Funny how things shift. Yeah, soul retrieval. I need a good vision quest. That's cool about your trip!!! I long to go to NYC and spend a weekend with my bro and his lady, eating great Indian food and singing Kareoke (I know that's spelled wrong, but my brain just can't find the right way right now..), shopping the funky thrift stores. Maybe this spring. I hope you have a great trip! Where in VT is the cabin? I'll have to watch Ginger Snaps 2. Have only seen the first one. Ravenous is amazing, too. Love the whole hunger thing...
from boombasticat :
Thanks for reading and for the nice words. A page a day keeps the bad voices away. I'll read your diary, promise.
from somaserious :
Ginger Snaps is an awesome movie! You know, I started the diary for the exact same reason: I didn't want anyone to read a paper diary and I felt so sneaky hiding it in my car or at work. That was very silly. The anonymous, or not so anonymous in some cases, was interesting, and now that I, too, have a small community it feels a little corrupted. But, I think I'm getting over it. It's nice to have those notes, those other words from people you don't really know but would like to get to know because they sound really cool and interesting. I love your entries! I totally understand about the crappy living situation. We live in a small house (yeah, rural vermont, a small house at $600 a month!) that has seen some years and wear and I'm constantly looking at the crumbling sheetrock...and the ugly linoleum... Hey, put up some winter pics. Enjoy the snow! Hee, hee, cum dripping for hours. Ewww...
from somaserious :
You know, I love the Anne Rice "Beauty" series. Very interesting stuff. It's amazing how something like a man being impaled on a statue in a very uncompromising position can make you tingle. The word for that book which comes to mine is engorged or ripe, just very juicy. I think I read the first book in one sitting. As for bondage, been there, done that, not really interested. I don't think I could be the submissive one, I'm much too into being the one in control. Hmm...dominatrix in training? As for corrupting, no need to worry. I've been around the block as they say and now I enjoy my mild sex, although a good romp on the nasty side might do me some good right now. I mean, really!!! soma
from somaserious :
Hey, cherry. LB is so adorable!!! Ah, yes, fireman. What fun, hmmm? Hope my last note didn't weird you out, that wasn't my intention and I could totally be projecting my concern about that....I'm famous for such things! It's good to hear that you're happy! What an exciting time for you! Soma
from somaserious :
Cherry, I must thank you for being so honest about women, etc. You've sparked my longlostlust for women and it feels great!!! I lived in Boulder, CO for 2 years during my massage training (went to the Boulder College of Massage Therapy) and would live there if it were closer to VT. VT is my home and I have no desire to be anywhere else for the duration. Back to females. While in Boulder I put a lot of energy into the bisexual side of myself and felt so happy there. There were some women in my life, nothing too crazy, and we only got around to smooching and mild petting. Then I went back to men and part of me really regrets not diving in, so to speak. There was a lot of fear on my part, especially with this one gal who was the cream for me. She was such a soft kisser...but she had a lot of baggage and was newly lesbian and we just didn't have it going on. Now, after reading about your trysts (and getting quite hot under the coller) that desire has come back. But, I'm married and am only relegated to living vicariously through others. You go girl!!!
from t85225 :
LOL - innie, huh? Cute.... but lets talk Queen L... are you sure??? well... to each his / her own :P and I --STILL-- don't have the book info. Are you including the underscore between the t and the numbers? Is it bouncing? Geez, all I want to do is buy a book and start you on your way to fame and fortune! (and have one of those rare, self-published copies of a novel before it gets picked up by a major publishing house, goes through the hardcover, trade and paperback printings, gets all sorts of awards, all in the span of 4 short years)
from sillycake :
Hi there! Thank you for the advice about the anxiety issue and also for joinin the tea lover's diaryring. ^___^
from somaserious :
Yes, anxiety and the skipped beats are related. That was why the doc decided to put me back on Lexapro. Now it only happens every once in a while instead of every minute.... Yeah, snow it amazing. I love the smell, too. We were outside this morning: Geoffrey shoveling, me just standing there taking in the sunshine and cold air and Griffyn pretending that a small piece of rectangular wood was a chainsaw. Have to love those moments.
from t85225 :
ahh mon cherry j, your Love Machine is but a weak wanna-be of the Sybian (http://www.sybian.com/) And, if you would, resend the book info? It never arrived. t_85225 at yahoo dot com.
from somaserious :
Long time meaning two years. I was taking it for general anxiety disorder (my dad and his mom have it, too). Basically, when my life became more stressful than I could handle my brain went a little kooky, I call it the "hamster on the wheel" syndrome. Also, my heart started skipping beats and I was a little weirded out. This all happened after I had Griffyn and I've been on Lexapro for almost a year. I would like to go off of it again because it would be nice to rely on my own wits and craftiness to deal with my anxiety, not a pill. Yeah, "The Daily Cookie" would be a wicked name! Thanks for the websites, I haven't had a chance to give them a thorough look-see, but will soon. Enjoy your sex toy adventure!
from somaserious :
I completely understand about the women's group. I have one in my hometown and if I don't get to go it can literlly ruin my month. About the Lexapro, I was only kooky because I went off cold turkey, but after that I was fine for a long time. It's a good story. Chin up and all that crap (hee, hee). Get some sunshine today....
from somaserious :
Howdy. The corset,definitely! Who cares if you can't breathe, just as long as you have a cute lap to fall into. What made you go off Lexapro? The last time I was on it I went off cold turkey and it wasn't pretty (did I already tell you that?). Hope life is peachy....soma
from somaserious :
Taures with a pisces moon, very nice. Thank YOU for your nice words. Relationships are hard, and I hope Geoffrey and I can make it 15 years and longer. I think we can as long as we hold off on all the expectations we put on each other and just let each other be. That's really important. I've been on this Buddhist kick lately, just really like living simply and compassionately, and, more importantly, living in the moment. It's hard, but it can be so gratifying when you do it. Anyway, thanks again and good luck on your journey. Can't wait to hear more.... Off to go play in the clay with my boys (my husband is a potter and we have a studio on site).
from somaserious :
You go, girl!! Once you just give in and follow your dream (sorry about the hoakiness, but it's true stuff), the universe will take care of you. You should love what you do, not just think of it as a job that pays the bills. When you are happy with yourself and what you do with your life, everything else just falls into place. I've experienced this, so I come from honesty. Speaking of which, thank you for sharing the website. It's amazing!!! You are truly a gifted writer. Are you a pisces?
from somaserious :
Wow, I love to read your stuff...it's way cool. Something about writing down things in your head that just clears out the cobwebs. Could you send me your book/page info again? Either I didn't get it or I deleted it by mistake (oops!): piscestoo@hotmail.com. Thanks.
from t85225 :
smiles @ the past. All I can say for certain is that we all keep it around. Hope you eventually meet up with her. Although a warning - when I've meet up with someone from my past that I had wondered about, I was almost always disappointed... memories tend to be perfected over time, ya know?).
from somaserious :
No, haven't read it. What book is it in? I just got his new short story book "Fragile Things" and can't wait to read it. He's so amazing! I absolutely loved "American Gods". And, if you haven't read "Good Omens" you must. He wrote that with Terry Pratchett. It's absolutely hilarious. A story about the anti-christ and how he goes to the wrong parents...
from somaserious :
Yeah, I want to know about the book, too. Piscestoo@hotmail.com. And, funny you should mention John Irving, he's one of my clients! Very cool guy. Hope I didn't stir any uncomfortableness with my last note. I'm always one to point stuff out that's terribly obvious! Breast reduction on March 13, 2007!!!! And, six weeks off of work...
from t85225 :
Hey... how can I get a copy of your self-published novel? Amazon, right? Care to send me a link? t_85225 at yahoo dot com. Thanks!
from somaserious :
Melanie Chisolm is super yummy... So, why are you with a guy? It seems like you'd be so much happier with women...
from somaserious :
Deep stuff happening in your life, hmm? Not working for a while could be cathartic and refereshing all at the same time! Yeah, I won't stop eating cookies. It's in my blood. That painting is way cool, by the way. And, Dead Can Dance is amazing music. I've been listening to them during massages lately. Go have some fun! Your talk on money hits so deep in me. I think we're long lost twins or something.
from somaserious :
I was wondering what happened to you... Holidays happened to me. What funny stuff you write!!! Sheer brilliance. There, now you have to stroke you ego down again. What are the titles of your books? Would love to know...
from t85225 :
hey... you still with us?
from somaserious :
IUD, huh? I tried that right after I got preggers the first time (it didn't last) so that it wouldn't happen again until I was ready. It was great and my periods didn't sound like your gore fest (what fun!). However, after about two years I started to get these shooting pains down my left leg during my periods and it was the IUD somehow. Had it yanked (literally!) and the pain stopped. It was the best contraception ever. DH should have the vasectomy, what a pussy! It's so easy for men these days!!! Tell him the whaaambulance is around the corner and he should stop whining about it hurting too much already....
from somaserious :
my last sentence should actually read: what fun to actually be focused for once in my chaotic brain! and, I commiserate with doing all the housework.....
from somaserious :
hmm..potty mouths. It's too much fun to curse and it fits into so many sentences. I am loathe to give it up...even though now my 2 year old son will repeat it when I'm in the car and say, "shit!" to some asshole driver. I'm writing this as he is trying to get my attention. I was able to read some of your diary and, yes, let's be soul sisters!!! I never thought writing diaries could be so much fun. MMMMM, Lexapro, what fun actually be focused for once in my chaotic brain.
from t85225 :
I know you don't know me from Adam... but... hugs to ya... big damn hugs. And, you're desire to find that someone who WILL reach out and grab you by the collar as you step back and pull you closer, rather than allow you to actually step away isn't some fantasy... that's the way it's SUPPOSE to work. Ya just gotta keep looking (even though that can be painful - life isn't easy, is it?).
from t85225 :
grins... and ty :)
from t85225 :
locked... I'd love the key. t_85225 at yahoo dot com.
from t85225 :
My apologies.... for all the misuses of ellipses... in the past, the present and the future. Oh... and for sentence fragments too. :)

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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