messages to gr8legs:
(click here to add new message):

from manvsdevil :
Yo, maybe your dream is of his room in heaven which he does't get to... you know the rest, talk about pressure right?
from whystinger :
Supervising people is definitely a challenge and you will have to grow. Frustrations will lead you to make a few mistakes and you are learning from them. I have had two and a half years to make these mistakes and learn from them and it can be hard. Keep the faith and keep growing. Glad to hear that you are working out. I have been working out too and my ass is sore!
from whystinger :
Definitely keep pushing and I like your playing self help while sleeping - it was controversial a few years ago, but it is pretty plausible. As far as for blocking out folks, you just need to find a different set of folks to hang with. I know, I am in the same boat.
from whystinger :
That is a bit freaky and I have not had that happen in a long. I hope that it doesn't invite a spirit visit to me.
from whystinger :
I am honored. Picture was lovely and very modest. BTW, beautiful shape.
from whystinger :
Happy birthday! Thanks for the answers to the questions, part of that was to indicate that Mark should have shown you more attention - I would have been asking those questions if if things were like I think they were. At one time I didn't like nipple rings, but now I have seen some that I like, I guess my tastes have changed. I did like the clicker. That one was cool. I did not think of titanium. Titanium is always good. I do happen to like Sterling silver as I have done a bit of work in Sterling. I will warn you that I haven't been in email for a while (because I get flooded with emails at work) but I will get on in a day or so. Yes, you would have had my attention for sure. Cosita linda can still get my attention, I just don't really act much about it because... I will look at the picture as it will give me an idea and maybe I will see if I can find a picture of a lipstick that I might pick for you. Picking lipstick is a very personal choice and used to enjoy picking a lipstick for my ex-wife when I would work near a certain out of town cosmetic store. Happy Easter, he is risen! Yes, I need to spend more time at the church too. I have been thinking of volunteering here again.
from jimbostaxi :
:0) no prob anytime! Hope you enjoy day
from jimbostaxi :
I know it’s early but happy bday!
from whystinger :
Piss on Mark. You have my attention now, let's talk about pink nipple rings and red wine. Did you put in a pink nipple ring to match the red wine or are you wearing pink lipstick? Do you like red wine? What kind? What is your favorite nipple ring? For some reason, I see you are someone who would like solid sterling silver nipple rings. You have my attention now... Why not Mark? Is he really a gentleman or is he too self absorbed? Shit, I am still thinking about those nipple rings.
from dangerspouse :
Face it. Mark's a girl. You're better off just being friends, and sending those nipple ring pictures to someone with testosterone.
from jimbostaxi :
Whatever yo do not quit!!!! It could always be worse!! Like a cab office lol
from jimbostaxi :
Sending hugs out your way xoxo also anytime you wanna chat I’m up all night feel free let me know
from jimbostaxi :
Ty, it’s very sad on many different levels... They paste your time card to the wall when you die,,,three time cards have been hung up on the wall since I’ve been here it’s constant reminder of ones own mortality
from jimbostaxi :
I spend and average of 12 hours a night taking calls for cabs and for the most part people are rude and impatient, when I get those good calls it makes my day! I don’t tolerate any racial comments,,,I’d have hung up on them in a heartbeat there’s no fear of reprisals here.
from whystinger :
She is not as troubled as a lot of the women, but I am losing the attraction. Her infatuation is killing it. I have begun to realize that I am "safe for her" and I'll hopefully write more about it. Thanks.
from whystinger :
Thanks! I was wondering how you were!
from whystinger :
I hope all is okay. Time for an update to let us know you are okay.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note :0) I will pray on it
from whystinger :
God does listen, but we also need some others that we can depend on AND who will listen to us. We need that as a support system.
from whystinger :
As I just left a note for Lust- we all need an orgasm or a few! Can be so good and really is good self care at times too. Pure Romance has some good things.
from dangerspouse :
October 15....only two more days til Drogo. Hang in there. Hang in there....
from whystinger :
The sad thing about Kylie Jenner is the pregnancy was probably orchestrated by her Mom for more commercial gain, plus Momma probably wants more grandchildren. The Kardashians are pretty calculating when it comes to earning $$$
from whystinger :
I didn't get through the whole entry yet, time for bed. Pure Romance has some great products and the education is pretty good. As far as toys and sex - God created sex and it is for our pleasure. I believe the Bible was written for a simpler mankind in simpler times and sex was needed more for populating the earth, so that is why masturbation was discouraged. Get your toy, get over the guilt and have a good time. It can change your life for the positive, whether you are single or if you partner up.
from whystinger :
Piercings! Awesome, let's see them... just kidding, sorry I could not resist. I am with you with the "communication" thing. What is the definition of communication? The sending, receiving and PROCESSING information (yes, human do process if they are listening). cheers
from whystinger :
Congrats on the island vacation. I just got my passport so that I can begin to visit places that I have wanted to but haven't visited yet. Nipple piercings! I didn't think of you as a piercing fan. From my take, I love to see a woman's nipples, I think they are beautiful. I am now at a point in my life where I can appreciate an awesome set of boobs without gawking or staring. In the past, I have not been a fan of pierced nipples, but it ain't my business and I am becoming curious about pierced nipples. I know a few guys who have a pierced nipple. Good to read you.
from dangerspouse :
Woo hoo! You did it!! I was very happy to read you've managed to wrangle that island vacation. Hooray! And I'll be even happier when you post a few bikini pics ;)
from dangerspouse :
So, any word yet on if you can go to Jamaica in August? And hey...any chance you'll hook up with Silver Tongue gent? Just curious :)
from whystinger :
Congratulations on the toning and trimming up. Size 8? I always liked my ladies somewhere around size 10-16. I don't mind heavier or lighter, but 10-16 seemed hottest. You must be smoking hot now! Sorry you don't like the new job, but as you put it, it will get you by.
from dangerspouse :
Woo hoo, my plan worked! You're hired!! Lol... In other news, I'm sorry you don't like the new job. But you have a job now, and I know that was weighing on you. Speaking of weighing on you: you'll be down to that size 8 in no time at this rate. Hang in there, future mistress! :)
from whystinger :
Congratulations on the blood pressure drop. That is an amazing accomplishment. As for trimming up, a great thing is what you are doing - not hopping on the scale, but seeing how clothes fit. I have about 18 lbs to lose and that would be dropping me down a size in blue jeans.
from dangerspouse :
Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks :) 5/23
from dangerspouse :
I'd be more than happy to supply a booty rub (or 70+), but not immediately after you've eaten those tacos. Wellll....never mind. I'd still do it. :)
from dangerspouse :
Alright, a fellow KC fan! Their BBQ is the absolute best - it may be why I ended up marrying NewWifey(tm), come to think of it. She had a source there. Lol, thanks for the great note, kiddo :)
from dangerspouse :
Thanks, as usual! 5/3/17 :)
from whystinger :
Happy Easter Gr8legs! There is something about Melvin but I can't quite articulate it. HIs "great intellect" may just be that he is great at head games and I knew several like that and those relationships sucks. About "A," I think of some ex-squeezes from time to time. I have mentioned a few in my diary. AMI was the one that really was good. The sex was also excellent. I think I mention Janet. With Janet, the relationship sucked but the sex was great. With Windy, the sex was good and we still have a connection and attraction, but it would never work for us. Why do I mention this? I think you remember the hot sex and want it. Hell, I still want the hot sex I had with those three (and more) but I would never touch Janet again, too many head games and bullshit. Same with Windy, she has too much drama. AMI? yeah, I would if I could. I still think of AMI, Windy and others. That is normal.
from raven72d :
Great entries.
from dangerspouse :
Yes! Another paella fan! Glad you liked it, and thanks for the note :)
from dangerspouse :
Monkeys? That's just sick. It was elephants.
from dangerspouse :
"Sapiosexual". Love it. (Er...don't fall for Chris. Intelligence is nice, but there are smart guys out there who are also aesthetically pleasing.) Good luck getting that job interview!
from dangerspouse :
BTW, my mom died just over 15 years ago and I still sometimes dream of her. Must be a very human thing....
from dangerspouse :
Hey, thanks again so very much! I'm glad you liked it :)
from dangerspouse :
Man, that was NUTS! Good for you, speaking up for yourself and getting some of that shit straightened out. In other news: yep. We're all screwed. At least overpopulation won't be a concern in a few years' time....
from whystinger :
I am behind due to a heavy work schedule, but need to catch up on your diary. I just read about the dream of A. Seems like perhaps your subconscious is warning you...
from jimbostaxi :
Still too close for my liking be safe out there!
from jimbostaxi :
You were across the street from the shooting? with #45 stirring up hatred for anyone who is not white areas like that are a powder keg waiting to explode.
from jimbostaxi :
Thanks for the note :0) I very rarely voice my opinion about such things but I felt circumstances justified at least one entry on it, now back to our regularly scheduled bitch fest about my life :0)
from dangerspouse :
Heh. My wife said, "Oh, she's a Southie!" NewWifey(tm) went to Pittman middle, then Raytown High. Worked at the Federal Reserve downtown for a while, and was partial to Smokestack, Jake Edwards, and Little Jake's. We flew in a ton of Jack Stack BBQ for our wedding reception so her relations wouldn't riot :)
from dangerspouse :
Wow. You were near tht shooting? Horrible. Just horrible what's going on. I blame 45 too - his rhetoric I'm sure has given these types a feeling of justification for their hateful actions. BTW, my wife grew up in Raytown. She says hi :)
from whystinger :
Hope you are over the flu!
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the awesome note (again)! I'm glad my silly little stories make you laugh. Normally women have to LOOK at me in order to laugh, so this is a relief. Speaking of relief, I hope you've gotten some since coming down with your own flu. Sucks, don't it? Ok, off I go to find more food pics for you :)
from whystinger :
You are having lusty dreams because... you need some attention in that department. I know, I am that way too.
from whystinger :
Awesome! I need a booty slap now, would probably put some spring in my step.
from dangerspouse :
Omg, I LOVE THAT FEMININE FUNK STUFF!! Lol, what a great shirt you got. I'm gonna pick up a bunch of their shit for NewWifey(tm) I think. Thanks so much! Oh, and sorry about the Chinese place closing down. That sucks. At least you still have Mexican (until the wall goes up, of course). Hey, good luck on the new job next week. I'll be waiting for an update on how your first day went. Hang in there! :)
from dangerspouse :
Such drama! Oh my god, I can't believe that guy brought your name into the middle of that argument with his wife! MEN!! Jeez, sometimes I feel like apologizing for all of us. But of course, the most fascinating part of the entry was....your massive gas! BWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!! You better NEVER get married if you're embarrassed by that, chica :) Own it! Say it loud, and say it proud! Hahahaaaaaaaaa!!! Now go have some more cheese covered shrimp and relax :)
from dangerspouse :
Lol! Yep, I'm a lucky guy to have so many choices of ingress :)
from dangerspouse :
"Creepy and sobering" is right. Nonetheless, congrats on getting the job! I hope, sincerely hope for your sake, that this is just a very quick stepping stone on your way back up to a more human friendly salary. Best of luck!!
from dangerspouse :
Thank you very much again. I'm really glad you liked it :) (Any word on the job yet, btw?)
from mistfree :
Best of luck with the jobs. Maybe one of them will actually push you through to something better! Dare I even say enjoyable?
from dangerspouse :
What a dilemma - I hope you get that warehouse job! Best of luck, keep us posted.
from whystinger :
Cool! Good luck!
from dangerspouse :
Thank you so much! :)
from dangerspouse :
Sid gives the rest of us stalkers a bad name :(
from whystinger :
The dude is mad at you because the words were true & stung or you caught him staling you (without realizing it), he's paranoid or he loves drama and wanted to create drama.
from whystinger :
That is right! That is when I began to realize that the ex-wife didn't care anymore - she would say that I needed to kiss her more and when I would try, she would turn her head away or push me away. The passion left her kisses and they would turn into a quick peck on the lips. *Sighs* Much happier without her now.
from whystinger :
It sucks if your significant other is not a good kisser. Same if they are a good kisser, but no longer kisses you passionately.
from whystinger :
You know that I always appreciate prayers. Thank you! Merry Christmas.
from mistfree :
How on earth did you kick the sugar habit to begin with? This is something I've not been able to do. Cut back, yeah...but still that meant I could have a couple of gummy bears mid-day if I chose. Good job on ignoring the words of the married man. Sounds like he has his own demons to battle. Not your problem, right?
from dangerspouse :
Hey, I just saw you added me to your Buddy List. Thank you so much, that's very flattering! I of course returned the favor - and not just out of a sense of obligation ;) Now go have some more sugar and celebrate!!
from whystinger :
I applaud you for learning not to listen to a married man's woes. We know what that can do when someone listens to the woes of a married member of the opposite sex, even if both are married. I think you were on track to advise that he pray for his marriage. I also agree that prayer may not fix the marriage, but it would help clarify what he must do. Whether to stay and try to fix it or stay until a certain time or to leave. Odd, but when I asked Honi for the divorce, I had been praying about it and I felt that God was good with my decision and that gave me more peace. I knew that I did my best and it was time to move on.
from dangerspouse :
I feel it necessary to point out that 'murica HAS elected an independent before. (I assume by "independent" you mean "not a Republican or Democrat".) Two, in fact. Millard Fillmore ran - and won - on the Whig ticket. And George Washington was a "true" independent, since he was not affiliated with any party during his two terms. Otherwise, I agree with you. This election cycle has been sickening.
from whystinger :
Interesting someone responds to an email five years later. I wonder. Is he between wives/significant others now? Was he pissed that you wanted out and he will "trivialize you" to get even? Did he save the email and his wife found it or who knows. It is really hard to say, but go with your gut on this one. Remember to write about the two dreams. I need to write too...
from mistfree :
Dreams about sharks and snakes? Hmmm....this has got to be about your feelings for someone you don't trust. Or sex. My dreams always seem to turn towards sex. LOL.
from whystinger :
Glad to see you writing. As for the dream, either you have feelings for D or this is a symbol of what you want. I sort of understand, as I am at the point where I want someone in my life now.
from jimbostaxi :
Sounds like you got some feelings for this fellow they are being held back in your conscious thoughts but seeping into your sub conscious
from whystinger :
I feel that I am going through a bout of depression myself. Had an appointment with my therapist, a person who knows me well from working with me on my problems with my now failed marriage. She gave me some specific things I should do. One of them is because I travel and have pretty much isolated myself is to start building a social life. hugs
from sunnyrain828 :
I have more than one friend who have changed their names legally without getting married. It's totally doable.
from whystinger :
Welcome back, glad to hear you enjoyed Paris.
from whystinger :
Here is a bit: pray for guidance, guidance and for God to direct you to where he wants you to be woking, where he needs you to be working. Pray that you do what he wants you to do and to lead you to become the person he wants you to be. God loves us so much, we don't have to change, but he loves us so much he doesn't want us to remain static and he wants us to grow. God also wants us to be an active participant in solving our problems.
from manvsdevil :
Please don't take offense as I do not mean to give advice but maybe make work as your prayer? I've had many small crappy jobs and it took ages for me to realize, to dedicate the effort to Our Savior, instead of whining about how crappy the job was/is I get on with the grind and give my best as an offering to the Lord. Maybe you'll find yourself in a similar situation. Merry Christmas and God bless you!
from whystinger :
I'm thinking I sent an email a week or so ago. I will check...
from whystinger :
I am hoping that I have your email. I need to reach out with a few ideas.
from whystinger :
I have been told there are a few things that are unforgivable. My preacher disagrees. He told me I "need to forgive Honi. It is in the bible" I told him I forgave her, but I did not see where it was in the bible that I had to stay in a relationship with her. He did not have much to say after that.
from whystinger :
Stick to a rigid schedule for meds... that helps a lot. Keeps things even and just seems to work best.
from sunnyrain828 :
Nice to hear that things are looking up for you. :)
from whystinger :
Half the normal does of Zoloft? Congratulations. Glad things may be on the turn around for you. Feeling better is the first part!
from whystinger :
Don't worry about the weight, but do try to get some exercise, that will help you mentally, but you have to keep it up. That exercise can help you get off the meds. Discuss with your provider. It is difficult, so don't lose the faith. I am praying for you.
from whystinger :
I applaud you for seeing a psychiatrist - they can do wonders with medicine and that can be a real blessing. Another high five for staying off wine while working with the meds - Honi was good at taking her meds and good about not drinking, she just would not go to get her meds adjusted and that helped collapse the marriage. I can tell that you want to be better and that is just fabulous. Glad you updated, sorry to hear of the appointment screw ups, but you aren't giving up and that is major! As far as the plateau, just keep working and vary your work-outs. Make sure you eat PROPER because if you starve yourself, your body will conserve calories. When I get to a plateau, I first get consistent with my work outs (every other day run), then I vary them by speed - I will add a few sprints and such and that works to knock the plateau down as long as I am eating right and enough. Cheers! I am proud of you for working hard
from whystinger :
Happy 4th! Like your entry. Will toss in my two cents - take the required dosage of the meds till the therapist feels it is time to taper off. Did you know that sometimes not treating or not treating mental issues properly can cause them to worsen and/or prolongs them. Interesting take on gay marriage. I like your stance, mine is a bit different. First, I don't think the Christ would have approved of us condemning gays or turning our back on them. Second, the "experts" claim the "real damage" from gays is their lifestyle, so preventing gay marriage "prolongs" the "dangers." Funny that these same so called experts also discourage gay marriage. I say let the gay community marry. Many corporations recognize same sex domestic partners, so let them marry, achieve happiness and have a more normal life. I don't think I am really explaining this well. Bottom line is, I don't think we should deny gay marriage - let them be committed to a partner as well as heterosexuals. Heck, they may be better with marriage than some of the straights (like the Donald...)
from whystinger :
That is some great news indeed. I think it is good that you are continuing with the anti-depressants AND the supplements. Going forward, it will be very good if you continue to hang with your friend, that too will help. I think God likes that you are taking an active role in your health and that helps. I truly believe that God wants us to be active in solving our problems. I am happy to hear that things are on the mend! On a different subject, I am out of the old house and that ends that chapter in my life. Have been so busy, I haven't written in a few days.
from whystinger :
Wow, sounds like poor nutrition. I need to be careful of that too. Sounds like you are getting on track. You may not like the following, but... find a way to work on fixing the depression too. Don't be afraid to talk to a psychiatrist, as they are the medicine and drug experts and I won't go on anti-depressants unless I work with a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. Why psychiatrist? I saw how much my ex-wife's other medicines screwed with her emotionally. The psychiatrist went through the list and would tell her "get your doctor to stop this prescription, but give you a prescription for xyz, it won't further your depression." I learned by experience with my own depression that I can heal much faster with talk therapy, hence the therapist. Today's psychiatrists aren't big on talk therapy but they are med experts.
from manvsdevil :
Praying with you too.
from whystinger :
Take care of yourself. I will be praying for you.
from whystinger :
Sounds pretty heavy my dear. Do you know the anxiety and depression can bring on or make the back problems worse? The chiropractor can help, but as you have already noticed, you will want to see a therapist or some specialist. That was how I began to get healthy - started with my mental health, then my physical health, but they are related. Definitely find someone to talk to. I have been there and talk therapy really helps. I used a combination of talk therapy and medicine. That is one of the reasons I run now - the exercise helps a ton too. Difficult thing is once the depression starts, going to exercise won't fix it unless one keeps up with it, but I prefer to use the whole thing - Talk therapy, physical exercise and medicine if needed. Email me if you need more information.
from sunnyrain828 :
I struggle with trusting people a lot. At least trusting them past a certain level. I have a very, very hard time with forgiveness. Thank you for writing this entry. It made me look at myself harder. I need to pray that God will soften my heart and help me love and make myself vulnerable again. I just so do not want to get hurt anymore.
from sunnyrain828 :
Heard a question on Air1 Radio today and I was wondering how you would respond. It was, "If you could erase all the bad stuff from your life, would you?" It made me think and I'm writing an entry about it and I was also curious what you would say, because I know you've been through some cruddy stuff too.
from whystinger :
Definitely have faith. God does work in mysterious ways. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is "not yet" or "wait." Can I explain part of this correctly? Remember, God also wants us to be an active part in what we pray for. Sometimes God answers what we don't pray for. As for being an active part. We pray for some answer in our life, but God wants us to be an active part in finding that answer. Does this make sense? My preacher puts it more elegantly... Glad that you are sticking around. You make the world a better place.
from sunnyrain828 :
Hey, the notes are working again!
from whystinger :
Yes, take the high road. Oh, and don't take what he is doing personally, which looks stupid as I write it AND is very hard to do... but do try. I am thinking of reading the book, "The Four Agreements."
from whystinger :
Great entry. I find I have a lot to be thankful for still. We all have a lot of healing to do and I applaud you for making the effort with your brother.
from sunnyrain828 :
Ha...Good thing you clarified. I didn't even see the "on" at the beginning. Ok, I will e-mail you the UN and PW. My e-mail starts with Seinahpet210@aol.com.
from jimbostaxi :
He is surviving for now but there are signs he's starting to crack up. I think me getting involved at this point might exacerbate the whole situation but im not sure yet.
from sunnyrain828 :
I haven't been on much lately, so I just now got to reading the entry where you elaborated on the book. It does sound good! I will see if I can find time to read it.
from sunnyrain828 :
Sure. Is the e-mail on your Dland page up-to-date? (3truluv)
from gr8legs :
amen to that!! no clothes vacay sounds awesome :)
from whystinger :
How about doing some things for YOU, some things to de-stress and some self care. Do something to help you hold on. Hugs.
from whystinger :
How about doing some things for YOU, some things to de-stress and some self care. Do something to help you hold on. Hugs.
from whystinger :
Please don't suffer through a job you hate, start planning your exit now. If money is an issue with a new career, then cut expenses and start saving now while in the job you dislike. Take some time and speak to a career advisor and find things that may interest you and will pay you what you need. I watched my Dad and my STBX (soon to be ex) wife suffer through jobs they grew to hate. The bitterness was awful. In my Dad's case, he retired, grew bored and went back to work in a lower paying job, but loved it and it really recharged him. He began loving life again and I KNOW you have a helluva lot to offer this world!
from sunnyrain828 :
Haven't been around in a while--too busy with a little one on my hands! Being a mom is a hard job, definitely. Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say I love to watch you grow closer to God. Your book sounds good--sounds like something I should read, actually. I have a real problem with worshipping the praise of men (people in general, that is, not men specifically). Will you be posting things you have learned from it periodically?
from whystinger :
The gift of being single! Truly. I was single until I was 35 and I wish I would have looked around longer, chosen more careful. Being single was truly a gift. Her I am married and no kids. We thought of and discussed adoption, but then the marital problems and mental problems began. I think God had different plans for me.
from jimbostaxi :
Im so silly I should have wrote everyone send me a million bucks! :0)
from whystinger :
Somewhere I was reading about Vegan. I read that you should spend about two hours a day cooking if you are vegan. I don't know how true this is, but you are on the right track by getting educated on how to. I will have to finish reading later. Good to hear from you.
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I hope taking up painting brings you some succor.
from whystinger :
How are things?
from dangerspouse :
I'm curious - after 100 days, have you been able to transition to a more plant based diet? Hope you did end up happier after all this time :)
from whystinger :
I like them apples! Great plan, I hope you follow your plan.
from jimbostaxi :
Im and Instagram virgin! lmao but ill definitely give it a try :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I like them apples! Ill follow ya. Wish I could think of a quote from Good Will Hunting to fit the occasion :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! :0) that pic is actually from a magnet, a friend saw it and picked up for me when the found out I liked the movie Princess Bride Lmao! That word pretty much sums up my weight INCONCEIVABLE! The end of your last post is like a page out of my life; existing for 6 days just to live on 1 is the most painful and destructive thing a person can do to themselves. and i only say i live on 1 is because i don't have to paint on a smile and face the world..,,, yep thats me,, my life,,,,
from hitch-hike :
**hugs**
from hitch-hike :
Thank you for your candid words about going back to a former job!
from hitch-hike :
What has it been like going back to your work after leaving it? I have a chance to get back to my previous job and I thought about you and when you went back to IBM. I had such mixed feelings about my former job, but after I left I realized some interesting things about it that I did not see while I was there.
from manvsdevil :
St. John of the Cross - 'Dark night of the Soul' might be up your alley *shrugs*
from sunnyrain828 :
My husband has a similar job where you have to request holidays off and it's first come, first served--even at Christmas and Thanksgiving. We've been extremely fortunate that he has gotten them both off every year. Hope your training goes better than expected. :)
from jimbostaxi :
Like!! Thats great about therapy and your massage had a happy ending too !! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I was reading through your old post when I found this one. ( i was just thinking to myself that there is no possible way i can start over at 36 with a new career, social life, etc. then i realized, i have God and through Him all things are possible.) it made me think of my own life when i had to restart. I need to keep my focus on whats really imortant and your post was a good reminder! :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! There sooo much better than like buttons:0) i drop in on yours to see how you been doing, but i didnt know if you dig people leaving notes :0)
from whystinger :
Do you have an iPhone or iPad? If so, there is an app called "No More Diets" by Dr. Jenn Berman. Great app, works on using the "Hunger Scale." If you don't have Apple stuff, then web search "the hunger scale." concept is simple and good - learn to listen to your body. Try it for two weeks - it works for me, WHEN I follow it. Do contact a grief counselor. We all process grief differently and perhaps you are actually grieving the loss of both parents. Easier said than done, but try to walk at least every other day (if not every day) and shoot for a goal, like half a mile a day or a mile a day. Walk briskly, that helps. Also do something for self care, a few times a week. This could be reading a book you like, cleaning out a closet or many, many other things. I saw the list that said "clean out your closet and I laughed and said "Bullshit" to myself. I cleaned my closet out and it definitely helped a ton! I will put you in my prayers too.
from whystinger :
I tried to send an email, let me know if you receive it. Hugs.
from whystinger :
Your prayers did NOT send your Mom to an early death. God just does not work that way. If you prayed for healing, she may still have died. God doesn't always reveal his plans. Your Mom knew she was dying, that is why she prepared so well. As to why the cash stash? Remember, I don't know the chronology, but perhaps she was preparing to leave or something. Perhaps it was so you could have a better life. Hugs.
from whystinger :
I am sorry to hear that your Dad is doing crap like that. That is just not right. Truthfully, I don't know him, but I would like to punch him in the nose and knock him on his ass. That is horrible that he said those things to your brother. He's trying to split you two and that is just wrong. I am sorry, but it is making me angry and protective of you. Hugs.
from whystinger :
I am truly sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. May it comfort you to know that you and your brother have been in my thoughts and prayers.
from sunnyrain828 :
So still no real word on the exact cause, then. Goodness. Praying for you as you prepare as best you can for the service. Take care.
from movingsands :
Sad to hear of your loss. My condolences.
from whystinger :
I hope all is well.
from sunnyrain828 :
Wait, WHAT? Okay, I will definitely be looking for an update here.... Oh my gosh...
from jimbostaxi :
Hi, i just wanted to drop in and say that ive felt The same way as you jaded to the point that there is no expectancy of happiness thats not pathetic. I may not comment everyday on all of your Posts but I do read them and Im rooting for you hang in there things will get better! :0) belated hug!!!!!
from whystinger :
Hugs to you. ((((())))
from whystinger :
Have you started working out yet? Start slow and fun. While my Dad is not bad to me, he does yearn to chat and this is hard as Mom wants to hear so they put me on that damn speaker phone... Dad will ask simple questions and sometimes repeat them. I think they want to know and spend time, but for some reason, the questions are not so good.
from jimbostaxi :
Congratulations on the job :0) good luck with your negotiations!
from whystinger :
I just wanted to snoop. Guess we both should be asleep now...
from whystinger :
Did you know that your older entries button doe not work? I went to do some reading of older entries and could not.
from sunnyrain828 :
There's a time for everything. Sometimes when God tells us to leave something, it is only so we have some time away to grow, and return wiser. ~*~ Your apple dumplings sound delicious!!
from jimbostaxi :
Sorry to read about your rejection emails :0( just try and stay postive and good luck on that interview ! :0)
from whystinger :
Just read your update. Perhaps it is not that you think of someone and they die, but perhaps you get a vision. I get visions, but mine are not deaths. Yours may be a calling of sorts. You want nonprofit work and perhaps the is a segway into that of a sorts. As a side note, a friend/acquaintance recently died. Six + years ago (maybe longer), she was diagnosed with cancer a 2nd time and was given months to live. She told the doctors she would put together her own "dream team" and he didn't know squat. She outlived his estimate by a whole bunch. Her dream team? God, Doctors and friends praying. I will remember her fondly. She died working with Habitat-for-Humanity. She also ministered to many people when she had a business, which sold some christian books. I don't know why I tell you this. Oh, tough thing about not-for-profits is a lot of times they don't pay well because they cannot. I was involved with a nonprofit as a volunteer. In fact, I need to get some $$ together and send them a donation.
from whystinger :
I tend to get busy and not make the time to update. I "asked for a sign" but I believe your words "ask for a confirmation" are probably more relevant. I know God wants us active in solving our own problems and perhaps I have ignored the confirmation? I need to think about it and pray about it more. Thanks!
from whystinger :
Just saying hello.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for adding me! ;0)
from whystinger :
Interesting update, especially since I am not in the best of moods today. Loved that video! Saw it recently, but watched it again! I wish you the best. I know it is tough...
from whystinger :
I need to re-read your note. You are right in many aspects. Sort of wish I could hear more of your thoughts. Don't know if you arrived at this from the old entries or more recent ones. She struggled with her parents, especially with her Dad. More later, as I have to be somewhere now...
from hitch-hike :
Facing the effects of my mother's domestic abuse on my own life was one of the most frightening things I ever had to do. This was done in counseling, support groups and workshops. I'm glad I did it because it released so many years of hurt, pain, and nightmares. I also felt a new freedom I had never experienced. Although the scars remain and itch once in a while, I'm conscious of their effects. I'd really encourage you to do the same if you get a chance.
from whystinger :
Thanks for the great message! Good to see you update, but... My heart goes out to you. It is funny how things shape our lives.
from manvsdevil :
Aye, if you can go back to Ibm, you should do it and give yourself time to earn to make the transition later - easier. It'll be one less thing to think about for a while hopefully not too long. If you're accepted back maybe this time focus on the job only, 9 to 5 it so to speak. Peace ^_-
from sunnyrain828 :
Have you ever heard this song? God uses this song a lot to bring me back to my knees when I'm remembering the hurt. It's Seven Times Seventy Times by Chris August. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5-Q1zAhqpA
from sunnyrain828 :
I know how hard it is to forgive emotional injuries given to you by the people who were supposed to love of you. It is so, so hard. :( I've had to learn the lesson that it doesn't work to distract yourself from the hurt, make yourself forget about it, or even try to believe better of the person. :( In the end you actually have to do the hard work of admitting that they hurt you, that it wasn't fair or right, let yourself cry, and then finally give up trying to make it right. What gives me the most hope is knowing that God will redeem the pain one day, and also execute the needed justice--either on the person themselves, or on Christ in their place. It's so hard to do all of that, but it's the only thing that will bring you true healing in the end. Lots of love, Stephanie
from manvsdevil :
Decided to add, hope you don't mind, don't go back to ibm, since you were given a resounding sign. (I had the same thing with my old job too) (^_-)
from hitch-hike :
This man doesn't care about you or your feelings, and this is harassment! You should call the police and file a report, and see other what your options are. I've had problems with that before and took these steps for it to not happen again. If ht doesn't want to listen to you, he'll listen to the long arm of the law, especially since he's married or has something to lose by continuing this very bad behavior! **Hugs**
from sunnyrain828 :
Seriously that is my personal NIGHTMARE.... Everything in my head is screaming, "RAPIST! MANIPULATOR! RUN!" I am so not going to get over that story anytime soon....Horrifying!
from sunnyrain828 :
Aaahh!! CREEPY!!! Oh my gosh I would run so far in the other direction if that happened to me--and what a scumbag for hitting on you in such awful ways especially when he's MARRIED! Yuck yuck and yuck!!
from whystinger :
congratulations on the jump! Perhaps you should hire in at a Vet and/or see if you can find an internship or some sort of co-op program to put you into the helping animals area. It is never too late to change careers, but it can be a challenge.
from whystinger :
Interesting comment - a friend and his wife pray together every day. Each takes a turn leading in their prayers, whether he's on the road or not. Interesting too, as she has not been attending church with me, says the chairs bother her back. folks there have said "we'll get one of the comfortable chairs from someone's office for her"...
from hitch-hike :
What a thrilling and scary time at the same time!! May God be with you on every step of this new journey!! xoxo
from sunnyrain828 :
Losing the job I had is how I landed the one I wanted and currently have. :) I'll pray that God grants you the same blessing he granted me.
from dangerspouse :
I'm very, very sorry to hear of your "resource action". I find it particularly heartless when they couch horrible news in bland sounding euphemisms. I hope you find suitable employment soon. These are not good times to be without a steady income. (Not that there ever is a good time.) All the best to you.
from whystinger :
Trust in the Lord. That is why you had this feeling. You also got a small gift with this "challenge." Early notification. You were notified a bit too early, which will be a challenge to keep up appearances, but you also have a small bit of extra time for planning and such. God tends to teach us lessons and also temper us with difficulties. Perhaps this is that?
from sunnyrain828 :
Great entry. I love how you are chasing God even when it's hard.
from whystinger :
God can touch us in the biggest ways and the smallest ways. God has been very good to me in my life.
from imjustanerd :
I'm a new reader, and I just loved your entry about God's love. I am constantly overwhelmed by how great He is!
from whystinger :
The Love Dare! We did do the movie. I can't remember if we did the love dare, so we probably didn't. I know we talked about it. I can't remember if we watched the movie before I left of after I returned. I think she is happy with the way things are. After all, she has not wanted to go back to couple's therapy. Funny, she would NOT go to couples therapy until I moved out... We went, she is comfortable and does not want to change things.
from whystinger :
Do you have a church? Is it meeting your needs? If not, check out some others. God has been very good to me my whole life. cheers!
from hitch-hike :
As long as we are able to walk this earth (as opposed to being below it) and we are able to breathe, anything is possible. When I think of the many things it takes for a baby to be born, so much yet it's also so simple, it makes me think that yes, anything really is possible. **Hugs**
from sunnyrain828 :
Apparently I need to correct myself (see note below). There are a lot of books out there on fatherlessness for guys. But not for girls. I guess I should write one.
from sunnyrain828 :
Brokenness in the area of seeking male attention is an extremely pervasive problem for women today. My sister and I grew up without a dad and we both struggle with that brokenness in different ways. Just wanted to say that so you know you aren't alone in this broken desire for male attention by ANY stretch of the imagination. I don't know where yours comes from, but if you had a broken relationship with your father like I did, it's a hot topic on the book market right now. You might be able to find something that could help. Take care. -Stephanie.
from sunnyrain828 :
Love the new layout! What beautiful colors. I love this entry too. :)
from sunnyrain828 :
I don't think dreams predict the future so much as they show us the current state of our minds. From reading your recent diary entries, I think your dream is a perfect reflection of how your mind has been working over the last several months about Brandon: You've been trying to push him out, but he gets back in every time. If this dream means anything, I think it is clearly showing you that you aren't strong enough to do this by your own effort. And, this may be a stretch, but if the bathroom means anything, perhaps it symbolizes the beauty of the Lord. You were completely entranced by it, and lost track of anything else, including Brandon. Perhaps, then, it is a reminder that what God most wants from you is for your focus to be on Him, and everything else will fall into place behind you.
from sunnyrain828 :
Just now got the note you left me about your Older page. I might be able to fix that for you.
from sunnyrain828 :
Surrendering to God is an everyday act of faith, not a one-time-fixes-all thing. We have a sinful nature that is always at war with the idea of living under God's authority (Romans 7:15-25). The good news is that God is always gently pulling us toward Him more and more. The bad news is that we are often trying to pull away (although, because God is at work in us, gradually over time, we will try to pull away less and less). The question at the heart of all this is, whose authority are you living under? Your own false authority over yourself or God's rightful authority as your Creator? Every day you'll find moments where you realize you are living as if you are your only authority. But more and more as time goes by, you will find moments where you are living a life understanding that you are under God's authority. As a new person in Christ, God IS at work within you, constantly, turning you more and more toward Him and His good plan for you. He will finish the work He started in you until the day that Christ returns (Phil. 1:6).
from sunnyrain828 :
Hi there. I've been poking around different blogs, searching for new diaries to read. You seem to be a brother or sister in Christ, although I can see that you are going through something tough right now. I'd love to read back through your diary, but it seems like your older page isn't working?
from hitch-hike :
Recently at a fellowship, someone said that change is like sitting in a train right when it starts to move. If one looks in the horizon, things seem to be moving slowly and assume it's going nowhere. However, if one looks at a point immediately outside the window, things area blur and they realize they actually are moving. I've learned that change often presents itself as that. We don't know what the heck is happening or feel like we're going anywhere unless we make a little change in perspective... Just my $.02. **Hugs**
from lostasyou :
I'm adding you to my buddy list :) so hi!
from acuteapathy :
thanks for reading. not sure if romance is my thing, judging how the relationship i just was in ended (although im not gonna play the finger pointing game). but thanks; its great to know there are a few lovers still around in the world. =]
from whystinger :
Don't maintain the friendship... yet. First, move on then you can be friends later. If you were emotionally involved it is better to break it now and move on.
from jaysthoughts :
You say your not settled about some things in your heart.. like what?
from lobo21 :
Wandered in and I have to say that's a pretty awesome bday wish. Hope you get it. If you don't mind much I'd like to pass this way again from time to time. Take care.
from thisismywish :
Oh my goodness! I can't imagine how sick you must feel. I once accepted $1,000 in a settlement and later learned if I had been patient I could of had $10,000. I still feel sick about it to this day.
from thisismywish :
I always think of Psalm 103:9-10 and how God just doesn't "repay" us according to our sins. I HATE facing the consequences of my mistakes and I can relate to the pain. Just know that you're already forgiven and so deeply loved by God! He will help you get through the painful consequences.
from fat0free0air :
Ooo! I'll have to keep my eyes open for that one!
from omfggwtf :
stumbled on here and i'm going to add you as i want to read more! hope you don't mind. xo.
from sunshine-mou :
hang on! you can do it (:
from fat0free0air :
Thank you for your words and prayers! I love that passage :) I just wrote it on a stickey note and put it on my wall. xoxo
from trent76 :
Do you have self image issues or issues with food? You seem to complain about weight but so nothing about it. I read the last entry. How do you expect to control your eating issues when you go eat like your last entry?
from whystinger :
I am glad you are with a church. Have you ever thought of volunteering with a "church plant?" Check out http://www.nextinitiative.net/ Also, start small, with maybe 20-30 minutes of exercise and greens. then work your way up. If you get the eating in order, the rest starts to fall in place... I am still trying to get the eating thing right too...
from whystinger :
cool diary, hope I can find it again, as I am in the library and can't save you in faves...
from cdghost :
engaging thoughts

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