messages to stardustcboy:
(click here to add new message):

from bamstroker :
thinking of you.
from bamstroker :
i really miss you and g. i haven't known how to get in contact. you've always been in my thoughts, and i was actually just thinking of you before you updated. i only write on lj now but would come back here in a flash if you guys are gonna be writing regularly. it sounds like you have been through an awful lot and i hope you are holding up alright now. take care. <3
from hlupak :
hi! i've misssed you. i hope you are doing well.
from kevinwhitby :
good luck. hold on.
from bamstroker :
i'm really sorry this is happening. i've been thinking of you both and hope very much that things get better. i hope you're okay.
from hlupak :
hi! feel free to contact me if you want to do so. i do care(not just because you're cute). hugs, kisses, etc.
from augustdreams :
Kick-ass diary! Very nice to "meet" you and always nice to meet fellow swingers who are also funny, intelligent and brilliant writers. :) This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. *sniff* Okay, I'm running on too much caffeine and not nearly enough sleep. But seriously. Just surfed my way over here and it's cool to have discovered a new favorite read. Here's me if ya get curious: http://augustdreams.diaryland.com/biobabybio.html
from bamstroker :
i'm not sure what's going on with you but i really hope you're okay. you've been there for me always since we became diaryland friends and i'd like to return the favor if i'm able. so if i can do anything or if you'd like to talk i am available, and i'm concerned about you. i hope you're alright. *hugs*
from hlupak :
even though we have not met in person you have touched me. you are beautiful in non-physical ways as well as physical ways. i send you warm thoughts and wishes. on another note i'd recommend the films of jan svankmajer to you, especially the short ones. hugs, kisses, and strokes.
from justmeltaway :
Oh I definately agree with you. With the pain comes the pleasure as is seen in my latest entry. I just thought your ring was perfect. Although my diary is meant to work out problems I am having to just release bad feelings I am experiencing, there will be those entries that are all about the good in life and what I have to look forward to. Thanks a bunches!
from bamstroker :
i'm with you there on the envy problem. mine's not directed so much at people with money; both my parents have had money and i've seen first hand how it doesn't fix anything and how it can also make things worse. but as for other things... confident people, i envy them badly. and athletic people, and people who always look put together. i'm crazy jealous over this one girl in my russian class whose composure never slips and who never makes a mistake; i want her to fuck up so i can see she's human. i definitely get that feeling where you want everything to come crashing down on someone because they have what you want. it's horrible. it doesn't make you a bad person, i think everyone feels this way at least a few times. and maybe you honestly don't want what you think you're after, but it's something else you've missed that goes along with wanting it. and also don't forget that even the people with the cars and the houses have big problems, they just get to live in a little more luxury when dealing with their shitty situations than the rest of us. and have to pay more taxes. ;) *hugs*
from bamstroker :
haha that is hilarious and so true around here! not only do i have my teeth thing, but my dad just had a crown put on yesterday and was told then that he should get his wisdom teeth pulled too. we are also going crazy trying to get our cars' registrations updated on time, and my mom's jeep and stepfather's rodeo just had bad problems they've only fixed a few days ago. nothing is working right it seems! and yikes, that sucks it's impacted, i hope that it doesn't affect the molar next to it and that it comes out nicely. i also hope your doctor gives you good drugs ;) that is truly the best upside of oral surgery!
from hlupak :
hi, i have a book for you if you would like for me to mail it to you. it is "behold the man." by michael moorcock. this is a book that would definitely give the religious right coronaries. if you would like for me to send it to you email your mailing address. my email address is [email protected]
from sadeli :
Hey.. I'm just passing through to say hi, and to let ya know that I'm still keeping up with your writings. You're an awesome writing, have always enjoyed your stuff!
from bamstroker :
your latest entry is incredibly thought-provoking. it made me think about how the internet has had an effect on us socially- i'm in a generation of people being raised on computers, some of whom interact MAINLY through them. while it can bring us together and it's a major roleplayer in globalization, it also has caused a sense of social disconnection from one another- yeah, it's great i can talk to people in china, but they'd still be /virtual/ to me. it's not like you can't create real, long lasting friendships when two people are a great distance apart, but it's worrisome when it becomes someone's main social outlet. the point of my tangent being (lmao) that with so much information at our hands, people are a lot more eager to slap labels on each other, especially for mental illnesses. it seems like our over exposure to each other has us greatly exaggerating conditions that have been around for an extremely long time already. and even if you don't have a doctor, all you have to do is google your symptoms and suddenly, voila, you know you are bipolar! in fact, it seems that any kind of major life event or drastic mood change in a person is attributed to some kind of mental disease or biological defect that needs to be numbed out. it is scary. before the internet and before the huge wave of psychiatric meds, how did we cope with problems and do so actually face to face with other people? it seems that mental laziness is the source of some of this- laziness to try to understand the root of whatever emotional problems people have, and laziness to work hard to maintain real relationships. and you really hit the nail on the head when talking about everyone's unrealistic expectations- this goddamn mtv-packed culture is sending a loaded message. kids think that they can drop out of school and become hip hop stars, and be prettier and smarter if they buy a certain product, etc. while all these "quick fixes" are just bullshit and people buy into them, once again, because they are lazy. and i've thought about what you wrote in the last part of your entry- what would we do if we lost power, and so on. clearly, we would be fucked. and i'm embarrassed i don't know the answers to most of those questions and wish i did. an ipod or a cell phone are sure as hell not going to help me if i'm away from technology and have to fend for myself. all in all, i really enjoyed your entry- i wish that more people could see it, because it certainly raises a lot of hard questions. :)
from katress :
Living in the Midwest, I can say that driving through SD there are anti-abortion billboards and other propaganda EVERYWHERE. Some are homemade that are posted in fields along I-29. Some are bought and paid for ad campaigns. But they're all over the place.
from hlupak :
that sounds yummy! especially the part about sucking it and eating it raw! ;)
from hlupak :
WOW!!!! i love the new look!!!!!!!!
from hlupak :
the bottom pic was the only one that did anything for me. that one is hot!!!!!!!!!
from bamstroker :
that's a fascinating outlook, i never imagined that to be the case. in fact, i'll bring this up to my therapist when i see her, because i did read once that having just one panic attack often times triggers that fight or flight response so that you're a lot more prone to have it in the future. since it's not a very useful reaction to have in most cases nowadays, i guess having one further mixes up your adrenaline's signals and makes it active. i don't have panic attacks as long as my mood is okay and positive, but like this morning when i was overly anxious, it really set me off. i know perception is so important, and i keep trying to change mine- i think positive thoughts, i keep reading different books and quotes, i try to think my way out of my problems, but a change in perception, when i'm trying this hard, almost feels too forced, like it wouldn't even last long and would bite me in the ass sometime in the future. i keep figuring that my problems will gradually go away or suddenly dissapear, but they haven't yet. and even if i'm feeling my perception is on track and healthy, there's still the fear i have to get rid of- fear that seems to seep into everything. this is ridiculously hard, i feel like i'm having to makeover my entire mentality because of how screwed it's gotten over a period of years, lmao. but i want to thank you because you've been helping me tremendously this past year. i'll continue to think more on what you said, and maybe my therapist can shed some insight on your theory.
from jellehbelleh :
I'm hoping you get this message. I can't email your work address cuz my school blocks all email websites. CALL ME!!!
from soakingwet :
Thanks for the note and for reading! =)
from jellehbelleh :
Ack! I'm in class right now and this is the only way I can contact you because we can't use personal email or IM. I'm so sleepy...all I want is a big bowl of mac n cheese, my froggy pj's, and my hun!
from jellehbelleh :
In case you forgot from the last time I told you, this year's X-mas was by far the best I've ever had. Sometimes I wonder how I lucked out meeting you. I can't tell you how much I love you, B. You make my world a brighter place.
from bamstroker :
i miss you a lot, i hope everything in your life is going well. before i forget, i really want to thank you for introducing your readers to blindwino- i can't remember where i heard of him from you, perhaps it was in an entry or he's linked in your profile. anyway, i loved the stories on his site so i bought his book 'just another empire' a long time ago. i couldn't get into the first few pages, and i gave up for months while distracted by other things. just recently, i picked it up again and gave it another shot. i read the entire book in one day, and it's hands down the funniest book i have ever read. it is right up there with "a confederacy of dunces." (in fact, if i ever speak to him, i definitely have to ask him if he's read that or derived any inspiration from it.) so thank you a million for letting me know about this marvelous writer! he is a gem. i hope that once i am feeling better (physically and mentally) i can write more, and hopefully happier entries and do a better job of keeping up with my online friends. i think of you and jelly a lot and hope you're not at all irritated i've been a bit neglectful. i also hope i hear from you sometime. and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! :D
from koi-ishly :
like your diary, came about your mr. brightside entry. The world does need a good fuck you every now and then. Hope you don't mind me adding you =)
from jellehbelleh :
You're actually in the shower right now and by the time you get this I would have loved you a trillion times more than I do now. CSG!
from bamstroker :
i am hearing you, but honestly, i am so busy that it is a hassle sometimes to get to the computer. please don't think i have forgotten you or what you've done for me and continue to do. i feel at a loss when reading your puzzling entries, and now- is there something i can do for you? *hugs*
from fallen9angel :
You have a truly amazing writing stile and ability. I do not always share your view point seeing as I am not Christian, but it is always a pleasure to read.
from jellehbelleh :
Cheese Sandwich Goldfish!
from pretty-pussy :
In regards to that comment you left.. That could be true.. I never thought about it from that perspective. And that does seem like his way of thinking too.
from hlupak :
hi! if you want to chat online you could IM me. if you need a nonjudgmental ear i could email you my phone number. you don't have to do either of these things. i know that we haven't met, but i almost feel like i know you. you have touched me.
from spunkyhottie :
Your stuff brought tears to my eyes thatnk you so much you have a point about that i love you!!!You just brightened my day thax~Chey~
from bamstroker :
i don't know how useful this is, but your entry reminded me of something my mom tells me. "if it matters to you, it matters." i think it is wonderful that people feel they can talk to you, even though knowledge is a burden. i hope you know that people listen to you through your diary at the very least. i read every entry but i don't always have the energy to comment, or i feel like what you've said is so profound that any miniscule comment of mine will just seem kind of silly. i think it is sad too that we are all the same. i have been thinking a lot lately about that, and about a lot of other things, like how we all have damage from problems in our lives, but without the baggage we'd be bored because we wouldn't be struggling. i also think you are still listening, but sometimes the confusion of the world can make someone weary. i'd go on but it's 2:30am and i am incoherent as it is ;) keep in mind you're never alone and what you write is really appreciated by people. also don't forget that two entries of yours were so.. i wish i had a way with words like you do so i could best describe them.. they were so meaningful and powerful that they created a turning point for me. you actually made me think differently- better, and with hope. you have a knack for getting right to the root of an idea or an opinion and then expressing your take on it so strongly that it completely makes sense to anybody reading it. with a gift like that, a person like you CAN'T have an empty audience. people are drawn to the force in you and your words. i bet you've made a lot of people- the ones who felt they could spill everything to you- think more clearly. now it is REALLY getting late, so i'll stop being mushy ;) but i just basically wanted to say that you ARE gifted, and so many of us are glad to have you here.
from hlupak :
sorry the breaks were left out when i signed your guestbook. i think you can tell which words are mine and which are thosa of Anais NIn. give yourself a squeeze for me.
from spunkyhottie :
You are blessed you are alive what else is there to it i'm blessed even though my well just read me and youll get it~CHEY~
from hlupak :
the writing of anais nin reminds me of you because it combines sensuality, intelligence and beauty.
from chickpea981 :
Holy Jesus! Take a breath! inhale, exhale, repeat as needed. Feel better yet, rant boy?
from hlupak :
why not change the calendar? three-day weekends and five-day work weeks. otherwise workers would be expected to do five days worth of work in four dayys. just a thought. :D
from jellehbelleh :
Thanks for taking care of my widdle booboo! I luh you!!!!
from jellehbelleh :
I'm totally bored off my ass so I'm going to annoy everyone by leaving long drawn out notes that have no educational content whatsoever. You are my seventh victim. Would you happen to have a slice of bread?
from jellehbelleh :
I just wanted you to know that I love you so much. Last night was awesome; just the two of us, inhaling burgers, watching foreign horror flicks, and snuggling in bed. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for! I can't wait for this weekend: party like rockstars then go bask on the beach...what a fantastic way to spend the Fourth of July!
from bamstroker :
sorry for the lack of notes- i am still reading and thinking of you :) *hugs*
from lilfoxyvixen :
well... it is a nice cock.. so quit complaining.. ;)
from pouncer :
I just read your palace of dreams entry and was taken away. I was in the worst mood, and after I finished reading about this place that you made sound so real, I feel like my worries aren't so important. THANK YOU SO MUCH, that's harder to do than it seems. You're an amazing writer!
from hlupak :
do i really need to tell you how much i want to get my lips around your cock and tickle your piss slit with my tongue and lick your balls and nibble on your inner thighs?
from pretty-pussy :
i clicked on the talk dirty link, and a box pops up requiring a password. :(
from pretty-pussy :
i need your email address to send the password. i dont want to leave it in your notes. :)
from hlupak :
you wrote about clones for the ladies...are you going to make the guys do without? what cruelty that would be.
from jellehbelleh :
Yay! Let's celebrate dirty Mexican style!!!!
from bamstroker :
thank you SO MUCH! *hugs* i couldn't have gotten this far without you and g- and you are the one who read my diary first, and introduced me to g, forming some pretty amazing friendships. you've kept me going this whole time, and when i am in school and feeling happy i will have you to thank! *hugs* much love to you! i have to get some sleep but will certainly write more later. :) *hugs* thank you for everything! :D
from bamstroker :
sorry you are bored! you have the most clever/funniest ways of signing your entries. "stimulate me!" lmao haha.
from hlupak :
you asked for stimulation. i made another entry for you. i hope that you find it stimulating. ;)
from bamstroker :
just caught your tiny note about chester- i have a feeling it is too. thank you for your input, i couldn't make a decision without knowing what you and jelly thought!
from bamstroker :
haha your post about catching stupid made me laugh. the internet reminds us of how many immature people and 12 years olds there are out there cruising the net. but nothing is worse than stupid than the creepy, stalkerish people. thankfully i haven't come across many but when i have, it has sucked! i'm so glad you had such a great time with your grandmother. what a bundle of fun she is! i don't have a grandma like that- one of mine is very sweet, but an alcoholic so she is always blubbering and drinking and saying incoherent things (surprisingly that's my dad's mom, not my mom's mom) and my mother's mom is very intelligent but quite bitchy and a handful just to be in the presence of. well, you can't choose your family ;) but your grandma sounds like a fantastic woman! hey, i may be going to art school- didn't i read somewhere that your art school was very wild? i wonder what to expect about mine, if i get in. i find out next tuesday at the latest so i'm very anxious. i'll try my best to hold on through this week ;) i love the new layout btw! *hugs* <3 whit
from chickpea981 :
dude did all the work. one chick on her back, he fucked her, chicky behind him basically just holds the position and everytime he pull sup from chick he's fucking, the strap-on goes into his ass more. He does all the work!
from hlupak :
hi hot stuff! i had ominous music in my cd player when i was reading your latest entry, so i was able to cue the ominous music at the appropriate time. ("Vampyre" by Midnight Syndicate)
from tmb :
I think you should definitely post a photo of those tan buns for your loyal readers to admire. ;-)
from hlupak :
yeah! it works! now to see if i can make an entry in mine.
from hlupak :
suddenly i can't get to your diary. i hope this is temporary.
from pretty-pussy :
i absolutly love the porn review. this is exactly what ive been looking for. i really REALLY hope you keep up with it. id love to hear a great review before i make any purchases/downloads. you rock. keep up the good work.
from bamstroker :
thank you for the sweet note on my LJ! *hugs* just to let you know, i'm not leaving diaryland- i've grown fond of LJ, but diaryland's been my home for a long time, years before bamstroker when i had lousrose, and i can't part with it. needless to say, sorry for my absence! i guess andrew had a harder time putting the locked diaries back up for some reason, and i was so pissed that i just kind of stayed away for some time. i'm glad everything is well on your end :) and relieved dland is working again because i'm determined to start leaving way too many notes again for all the people on my buddy list. :P thank you for all your wonderful support and for being such a good and caring person! i don't know what i would have done if i hadn't met you. i don't think i'd feel as secure and healthy as i do right now, and that is something i'll always be grateful for- sorry for the corniness lmao. take care! <3 whit
from jellehbelleh :
Thank you for the Gold Membership! I luh mah hun!
from bamstroker :
thank you for the entry! the schiavo case is sad, yes, but for the love of god, she was brain dead. what was the point of keeping her alive? there was no hope in her ever coming back. she should have been allowed to rest in peace years ago.. i am relieved she is dead. this whole fight is bullshit. and on that matter i still can't believe suicide is still illegal. a person owns their OWN body and they can do whatever the hell they want to it. and i cannot believe people wanted schiavo to live on in that state.. it's not right. when it comes down to it, some people are too far gone or in so much pain that it would be better if they could just go to sleep. and actually, a lot of people die that way and it's a shame they can't die less painfully, but the fucking government won't allow it, and somehow it's better and "right" to keep people alive in agony than it is to let them go in peace. this whole thing pisses me off. but anyway lmao i completely agree with you.
from jellehbelleh :
Just wanted to say I love you.
from catz-eyes :
hehehehe, love the squirrel thing! i got Arch Bishop Von Bushy. cheers, =^..^=
from bamstroker :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
from jellehbelleh :
I wasn't referring to your sister. I know she's a fixture in your life.
from hlupak :
i'd never leave you behind. i'd rather kiss your behind.
from pipersplace :
Thanks for the birthday wishes. Same to you. Kisses, Piper
from cladon580 :
The pants do sound way yummy!
from chickpea981 :
thank you
from hlupak :
hi! i hope you're feeling better very soon. give yourself a squeeze for me. (you can decide where to give yourself the squeeze and for hoh long. ;) )
from hlupak :
you won't get any complaints concerning your diary. i always enjoy it and i'd gladly lick your balls.
from hlupak :
it looks like my goal was partially met. it will be fully met when i get hold of your cock and suck it. XXOO XD
from bamstroker :
when i meet my online friends i think it will be perfectly okay and not awkward at all. it is amazing the amount of information that can be confided back and forth between two people without ever a real physical hug, any eye or body movement, anything. you're pouring your soul into the computer through a keyboard and there are real people on the other side of the glass, but you have no idea what their laugh sounds like or if they are a good driver or, sometimes, what they look like at all. but i have told my friends SO much, and i know so much about them, that i think it will make us immediately comfortable. the friendship is there, the knowledge is too, the inside jokes, just not the physical aspect of it. that's my take on it. haha nice picture! i actually just updated my picture album btw. i'm sorry jelly isn't feeling well, i will leave her a note. i cannot wait until summer either! i'm so fucking sick of all this snow shit! we had almost no snow and then BAM right after christmas we keep getting hit. it is beautiful, true, but new hampshire is disgustingly dreary right now. i need sunshine or i feel dead and lazy. summer will be here before you know it :) i love the beach too- i'm actually going tomorrow, i'm going on a little road trip with my mom and step dad for an interview my mom is having up north and we're going to take the long route so we can see what the beach is like. :) i'll take pictures. anyway i hope you stay healthy and steer clear of the flu and such. *hugs* <3 whit
from hlupak :
i'd definitely love to move out to California, and I'll definitely do anything you tell me to do.
from hlupak :
i definitely understand what you are saying about the privacy issue. i'd feel uncomfortable letting most of the people that i know read my diary. pocket-pool is the only person that i know outside of d-land who reads my diary. if you want me to send you my phone number i could email it to you.
from chickpea981 :
thansk for the jackass partyboy image to dance in my head before bed. weee! I rhymed.
from lifeasme66 :
I've often pondered the same... how is it that the people who probably know us best are the ones we've met only in an instance of time and space over the internet?? Very odd indeed! **HUGS!!**
from tmb :
Sounds like you had a very hot Valentine's Day - loved reading your description of it!
from hlupak :
your eating Taco Bell made me think of somethint that Bette Midler said. "If God hadn't intended for man to eat pussy he wouldn't have made it look like a taco." (That almost made me stop eating tacos. lol)
from hlupak :
i still wish we were closer to each other. i'd love to drive you wild, happy hot monkey fuck day!
from bamstroker :
the colleges i'm applying to have specific portfolio guidelines. and i'll be honest, i haven't done a painting in a long time and i've never taken a photography class, so i don't really know what i'm doing. art is the only thing i've ever been good at and i love taking pictures but i've had no practice or anything in years. its just another thing i let go of when i got very depressed, i decided to quit painting and paino, and if i had kept it up, things would be a lot easier for me now. the art institute of boston has separate guidelines for fine art and for photography portfolios, and i'm still not sure which one i want to major in! painting? photography? i'm worried i'll choose one and be bored with it. i'm very frustrated, haha. and because it's winter and i've been sick i feel very stuck and drained of energy, and i cannot wait til spring when things are less depressing and i can go off my meds. i guess i should just concentrate on the SATs before i go to that class next week. i could start drawing, but the colleges (some) request slides, and i have no idea how to put those together? anyway i'm a little lost lmao. thank you for all of your help!
from bamstroker :
thanks for the tips :) it really helps me to breathe slowly, count to three, hold it, exhale and count to three- and just counting like this gives me something else to do besides freak out. i think i will be fine once my allergies are gone. i am just so terrified of death and illness that fear takes over my life when something feels even slightly off with me. i've had this phobia since i was a young baby and it's never totally gone away- it's gotten worse and better. i know i'll get out of this though, i'm very focused on college! and even if it's not the answer to some of my problems, it's still something, an opportunity, and a change of scenery. i'm so excited for you guys about the wedding plans but it all sounds so stressful. but i bet you'll be relieved once it's over with and it all went as planned. :)
from bamstroker :
can't wait til your next entry!
from bamstroker :
i tried meditating before and liked it a lot :) wow, you are so sweet to look into it for me, thank you! i actually meditated once with an old therapist of mine, haha, what really helps me is to imagine i am somewhere else. i have a pretty vivid imagination and can make up some pretty funky stuff to help myself calm down. it also helps me to be distracted- if i'm just not thinking about how nervous i am and what it is thats making me anxious, i really feel fine. i am just uptight and paranoid :P hey, have you ever heard of the new pornographers? for some reason i think of you when i listen to them. anyway if you have kazaa or gift, check out some songs by them if you can :) ttyl hon, thank you for your amazing words! *hugs* whit
from hlupak :
well, it looks like there is a slight chance that some day i could move to californis. who knows. i could come your way to lick your ass.
from hlupak :
i can be pretty geeky too. would you still let me lick your balls?
from bethany9 :
of course it was a fake ding dong. we'd all have heard if marky mark was really packin 13 inches...
from pretty-pussy :
i loved that last entry. hot..
from jellehbelleh :
Just wanted to say thank you for a much needed session of great sex and fine Chinese food. What an awesome "date"! I love you!
from tmb :
Your planned evening certainly makes for a series of hot images!
from pipersplace :
WOW! And I was going to watch the Apprentice.
from hlupak :
i offer you a giant round of applause! i knew there was more to you than a handsome face and hot cock. i am a christian, and i agree with what you say in your tuesday rant. it makes me want to laugh when fundamentalists want to take the creation story literally, yet they say that the song of songs is metaphoric. the creation story leaves a lot out if taken literally. these people get upset if you say that the song of songs could be in praise of physical love. i wonder what thay think of the passage in ezekiel where they talk about the "adulterous sisters?" one lusts after "lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like those of horses?" These assholes who think they know everything about the bible probably don't know that that is in there. well anyway. thanks for the excellent entry.
from bamstroker :
i was drinking coffee and your CNN post made me spit it out and i almost drowned my keyboard!! LMFAO thanks for that. *hugs*
from hlupak :
if i had your cock in my mouth you'd definitely would be energized. photos of you are always good stroking material. XD
from jellehbelleh :
I've been a bad girl and need some discapline.
from pretty-pussy :
omigod, your diary has me laughing so fucking hard. if i didnt have to get up at 6am, id read more tonight. thanks for adding me to your list, i will definatly add you to mine as well. cant wait to read more. :)
from hamiltonian :
cool porn name
from lifeasme66 :
Hahahah, loved this rant entry! I'm right there with ya with the low-pant, ugg boot thing. I mean, wtf?!?!? **HUGS!!**
from chickpea981 :
the rants just made my day! those were fantastic and I am with you on each and every single one of them.
from hlupak :
thanks for the note. if i start another blog, i'll let you know. it's too bad i won't be closer to you in california. i'd like to meet you. (and lick, suck and titillate you and more.)
from bamstroker :
you're completely right, and thanks for writing me a note so promptly, because i read it when i was still upset and it helped me to calm down. *hugs* thanks for being there. btw- daaaamn that story was intense!! haha :) <3
from lifeasme66 :
Wow! *fans self* Exciting! **HUGS!!**
from tmb :
Sorry to hear about your cat - that is a hard thing to have to do. Looking forward to more of your hot sex entries!
from lifeasme66 :
Hey kiddo, just wanted to say hi... it's been a while since I visited! I kept meaning to add you, dunno why it never happened. Anyway, hope you had a marvelous holiday! **HUGS!!**
from bamstroker :
procrastination definitely sucks, but you still have time to do all of those things! how did it go at the spa? was the person who worked on you a hot young male? :P (forgive me, it's 8:45am, i should never be allowed awake at this hour.) i have to go to eat breakfast- i emailed you and sent you a link to my pictures- many came out badly but at least you'll get to see my cute puppies :) talk to you later, happy new year!
from jellehbelleh :
Hiiiiiiiiiiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Have fun on your vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm bored off my ass and wish I could be at home with you!!!!! *Smoooooooch*
from chickpea981 :
my dreams are where I work out all my problems and express my fears. I don't express fear any other way except in my head and it comes out at night when I sleep.
from bamstroker :
hey, i finally got your email. that account is one i never use and i only linked it on my diary so that i wouldn't have to use my real one address and be "found out" back when my diary was public. but i got an email and they said they were going to delete it, and i logged in and stumbled across your message! so then i was replying and guess what, the page refreshed itself and i lost everything. LOL. but i am going to reply to you, i just wanted you to know that i got it and i haven't forgotten about it. :) take care <3
from jellehbelleh :
Thanks for rocking my WORLD last night...I'm still breathless from the romp! *wink*
from jellehbelleh :
Did I tell you how much I love you today???
from chickpea981 :
That explosion type orgasm is the kind I described a few entries back - I only get that insanity from the new vibe.
from chickpea981 :
I haven't left you a note in a while. I really need to start doing that more frequently! Anyway, the 11 types of relationships entry? I may have to reference that in the future. Excellent descriptions. Loved reading it.
from lilfoxyvixen :
Somehow I just KNEW you loved it LOL
from hlupak :
greetings beautiful person! be patient. uhl will grow. knowledge has limited power. if we, as humans, do not learn to love each other knowledge is worthless. one of my favourite sayings is "knowledge is wealth, share it." knowledge is not something to be hoarded. as with love we can share what we have with others, and after sharing with others we have more than we did when we began. by the way, where is the video you promised me? give yourself a grope for me.
from jellehbelleh :
For every day I wake up next to you, I praise the cosmos for letting me have the opportunity to walk this earth. I didn't think there was ever such a thing as a "healthy relationship" ... but I guess we blew that idea out of the water. Thank you for your companionship, your love, and strength. You taught me that love is truly effortless if you don't put boundaries on it. So I'll echo your words in answering the question, "Do you take this man to be your husband, till death to you part?" OH FUCK YEAH DUDE!
from bamstroker :
have a blast at the party! and i need to renew my gold membership too. damn andrew and his charges ;)
from bamstroker :
oh my god, thank you so much, once again, for all the outstanding support and the wonderful things you have said to me. i think you're definitely right, this does mark a good year for me- last year of childhood, new fresh start with the way i look at myself and body image, confidence to move on and start preparing for when i make a whole new life for myself in a year's time (college) and to prepare for what is ahead :) your wisdom and kindness just blows me away. it is very refreshing and encouraging to talk to someone who has such a good head on their shoulders and who is very upfront about everything. you have an admirable outlook on life and on people and i hope i can become equally as accepting & healthy-minded as you are. :) and again, please let me know if i can ever do anything for you. your entries and notes help me every single time i read them and i truly appreciate them and you. i hope everything is well and that you are happy and content at the moment. i'll talk to you later! lots of love, whit.
from elliorange :
Oh. James Franco. You're right. How yummy is he? Yes. *smiles* I do adore those soft-spoken boys. I also do understand what you mean towards everything you said about the Peterson baby. The thing is, there are so many abortions that are still done - the partial birth abortion. Completely disgusting. The whole thing just doesn't quite make sense to me. I'm glad he got charged with the death of his son because I do believe it was a life as well. And, I am pro-life. So, people who have abortions - I see that just the same. It's murder. I just believe life begins at conception. I know others don't, but I just... do. *winks* Thank you for reading me, love. Oh, and, thank you for being a boy. :)
from jellehbelleh :
Thank you again for being so encouraging. I think I'm making this situation out to be worse than it is because, as you said, my seratonin levels aren't what they should be. I'm gonna give this job my best shot and see where it takes me. Thank you for you unwavering love and devotion. I know I must drive you mad sometimes but no matter what, you always pull through for me. I'm proud to call you my husband! xoxoxo
from bamstroker :
grr my note got deleted. i said; thank you so much again for the wise words *hugs* i am doing pretty well, i have been eating right and today will be the fourth day of it- it's amazing what eating normally can do, since i feel much more alive and happy than i have in a while. i've had a few bad moments where i've really wanted to stop and hurt myself but they passed quickly. i have more energy and my cuts are healing so i can almost walk normally now. i feel so much relief from the encouragement i have from you. not many people know of my problems in the first place, let alone that i am trying to correct them, so i have about three people who know and support me including you. you're the most inspiring and motivating person in my life right now, and i can't thank you enough. i hope that i can return the favor one day, sometime. i think my first note was probably better ;) this one already sounds rushed but i don't mean for it to. i'm putting things together now, i will take my GED practice test on the 17th of this month, one day before my birthday, and my mom is helping me find a job, one that we can do together. no one has called back yet but i'm not worried. *hugs* thank you for being a really good friend. i hope that if you ever need anything that i could help you with, you'll let me know. :)
from bamstroker :
thank you for writing it, anyhow. :) it made me think and it gave me a spark of inspiration, that i haven't felt in a while. not many people get through to me these days but, for some reason, what you wrote affected me and it's not something that i forgot 5 minutes later. thank you, dear.
from jellehbelleh :
Thanks for letting me use your diary to vent my feelings about the Bush vs. Kerry campaign. Well, what's four more years, right? Hopefully we can stay off his radar and blend in with the rest of the Mexicans!
from bamstroker :
i feel as though your last entry could have been written for/about me.. but i don't want to presume things.
from bamstroker :
i relate. i have a nervous feeling as though something very bad is going to happen. i was even a swing voter but when it came down to last night, i wanted kerry and bush is still in office, it feels like the world is ending. i have a friend who says this is good because the people should revolt but they aren't because they're buying all the bullshit. i just want to get through the next four years and not have a plane crash into my house because that's what i'm really afraid of.
from lilfoxyvixen :
ya know.. I just got done reading this entry "...Redefining... 2002-07-18 @ 7:15 p.m." I just loved that entry.. *sigh*
from jellehbelleh :
I just want the world to know how absolutely AMAZING my husband is! Thank you for all your love, devotion, and understanding me when I know I'm being an over-analytical retard. Cheese Sandwhich Goldfish for you and meeeeeeee!
from lilfoxyvixen :
Thank you.. I think you worded it better than I did, but yes... I totally agree.. Thanks again!
from jangela :
I find it interesting, your take on death and it's relation to physics. I've been reading theoretical physics since I was about 15 and a large impetus has been my fascination with energy and life. When I met Brian Greene, after the second lecture, I recommended the novel "One" by Richard Bach. I told him to read it because it was one of the few books that I read which I found deeply spiritual, but was also able to find analogies for aspects of string theory which can be difficult to understand once the quantum aspect comes into play. What a comforting place to find a peaceful mind this Diaryland place. I'm reading you too...j
from eowynne :
Thank you for your note. It was the first encouraging one I've had in a while. Just out of curiousity, who is your God?
from hlupak :
so it was l after all? It still has mystery for me, i still do not what it tastes like. (you know that different cocks have different flavours)
from lilfoxyvixen :
Ya know, that is a very scary thought.. that you could fit a dick in a belly button.. talk about getting confused.. ewwwwwwwwww Thanks and I am reading you as well :)
from chickpea981 :
oh you are such a typical man! j/k you're the awesomest. If anyone ever read your diary they would know you are NOT the typical man - you've got a heart and emotion. *GASP* how dare you? I'd say Lady Ivy is just a typical man-hating lesbian.
from hlupak :
i prefer your advice to swingerdiary. you are sexy physically, but the sexiest things about you are not tangible. i love the mohawk.
from chickpea981 :
*Gasp* You are teh sexy! I love me a good mohawk.
from hlupak :
i am starting to think it might be i. i'd love to see a video. :)
from hlupak :
is it d? i have seen photos, but they are from a different angle. i would like to taste it, but your diary does not have to be sexy all of the time. i enjoy reading your views on other things. squeeze it a few times for me.
from lilfoxyvixen :
Thank you.. from me and my moochie LOL
from blueswallow :
I feel the same way. Thanks for writing that. BlueSwallow. xx.
from hlupak :
is it l?
from hlupak :
i would think d, i or l. am i any closer?
from hlupak :
oops! that should say give yourself a squeeze.
from hlupak :
i would say thet k is yours. i'd still like to see a full nude photo of you since i cannot give you a real tongue bath. did you get my email with the photo of the man complete with testicles? give ourself a squeeze for me.
from chickpea981 :
Man it's been too long since I noted you. That convo you had... that's the exact same conversation I will have my brother's future wife and the same one he will have with my future husband. I love it!
from tmb :
I am STILL looking forward to those Burning Man photos, but I guess the sex stories will be the reward for having to wait so long for them!
from redsirenbody :
i still love you my friend. sex or no sex. you are wonderful. Love L
from bamstroker :
when someone says 'rabbit' i think of you because you're such a sex addict! :P btw a male friend of mine had that same kind of testicle problem- there was a lump and it felt really sore, and months and months later the idiot finally got it checked over & groped and it was nothing. i wonder if that is a common thing for guys, i wouldn't know though lmao. take care sweetie.
from hlupak :
i hope that everything is going well with your nuts. fondle them a few times for me. i am sending a kiss for both of them. too bad that i won't get the semen shower. hugs, kisses, and licks.
from redsirenbody :
I bet everything is fine. I will be thinking good thoughts for you as will all who love you (which are many!) L
from tmb :
I'm confident that you'll be fine. I do the same thing, imagine the worst possible medical explanation for every symptom that I have. But the majority of the time, as you know, there is a simple explanation and a quick cure for whatever is wrong. Go to the doctor, and try not to worry! (Easy to say, not so easy to do...)
from lifeasme66 :
First off, thanks so much for the comment the other day. Yeah, it sucks, but what are you gonna do... that's life, right? The party sounds like it could be fun, I'm curious about the details! Oh, and this last entry you wrote got me horny too... so evil! **HUGS!!**
from bamstroker :
hello dear. thank you for the words and the support, they mean a lot to me. i remember that i went to your diary, and the first thing i saw was a reference to your rant about EDs (which i both strongly agreed and strongly disagreed with) and i wanted to write you a note, but things came up, and i've been very busy. i just dropped out of school and got a job. it's been stressful and busy so the eating situation isn't bad right now. it is still a problem though. you're extremely sweet to offer your support to me- i want to return the favor, and tell you that i'm here anytime you'd like to chat or have someone to rant to. i have aim and email, too if you have a preference. you sound like such an interesting person and i'd love to talk to you. and thank you again for being there, it does mean a lot and i'm not just saying that. to have people read my diary- which, really is, like a real diary full of very private things, and to react this way is touching and amazing. i'll add you to my buddy list and hopefully we can keep in touch with one another :) thank you again!
from cats-corner :
Thank you so much for the lovely welcome. I'm going to work on remembering to relish every detail my sense detect. -cat
from redsirenbody :
oh and congrats! I am happy for you both! L
from redsirenbody :
We are reading you too, you lovely man. I have missed you. Love L
from chickpea981 :
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!
from jangela :
Hope you have a great time at Burning Man. One of these dyas, I'll have to haul my happy butt out their too. Another D*lander, jcruelty, is a die hard Burning Man fanatic. Looking foward to the stories! -j
from gayduck :
Wow. Thats all I can say about your entry about you as a child in the mountains. I forgot the name of it, something like "Beyond the threshold"?? It was amazing. Full of love and compassion at the end. Brought a tear to my eye. Was a beautiful entry. Duck
from hamiltonian :
Your Funny!
from tmb :
First, condolences on the loss of your dearly beloved computer. Secondly, I'm envious about Burning Man - one of these years I'm going to go wander naked in the desert. And finally, where have I missed the photo of your naked inner thighs referred to below?!?!? Cheers!
from tuestfou :
just browsing, and "fuck vegans" caught my eye. i didn't read the whole damn thing, but whatever. i pretty much agree with you about vegans being dumb. if they want to do that, then whatever. i'm not going to bitch at them (too much). but when they start saying eating meat is bad, that's when i get into it. i'm not going to say being a vegan is wrong, and they're not going to tell me eating meat is sinful. and then you got into stuff about how females need to realize that curves are attractive. i'm assuming you're a male, and this all might seem retarded to you. whatever. just keep in mind that girls with eating disorders can't just stop. it's not that easy at all. many of them do want to be healthy, but they sometimes are not capable of eating the right amounts of food (and keeping it down). so i might advise you to have a little bit of campashion in that area. it's not as easy as it sounds to let yourself have a few pounds.
from chickpea981 :
ok I'm clueless - what the hell is burning man?
from hlupak :
hello! i just wanted to say that you are a beautiful man (not just physically but also spiritually). licks hugs and kisses.
from hlupak :
i just read your entry about vegans etc. i agree with what you say. you can feed me all the raw meat you want. of course i mean that in more than one sense. licks and kisses to you.
from urpolemyhole :
I am exceedingly pleased and satisfied that your good karmic eminations (and a good dose of anitbiotics) have vanquished the dreaded invasion to your system. May True Blessings and Eternal Happiness surround you and your loves for all times.
from elliorange :
Wait, wait. You're living with Jellehbelleh, and you love her... so maybe she's the one you're going to marry. I'll figure it out some day. *winks*
from elliorange :
You write that you are planning to marry in may 2005, and I was wondering what that meant? Were you talking about the web-design/interactive gaming company, or are you talking about a human love? Oh, and I find you to be quite interesting. I'm reading you, as well. :)
from redsirenbody :
you are so perfectly kind and generous. I do love you. L
from hlupak :
i hope that you continue to feel better and better. i am sending you kisses for all over your body.
from hlupak :
i hope that you are feeling better soon. i send you licks and kisses allover and around your inner thighs. now hat i've seen a picture of that area just thinking about kissing it is making me hot.
from tmb :
Hope you feel better soon! I just found your diary a few days ago via a link from a friend of mine. I've really been enjoying it.
from redsirenbody :
Get well soon, my love. Laural
from elliorange :
*hugs* I hope you feel better, babe.
from chickpea981 :
Spank you very much for the good karma sendings. I think it worked. Turned out to be a reaction to soap I was using that cause the *ahem* coochie issues. Also, things are cleared up with the boy. So like I said, I think your good karma sendings did me a world of good *kiss*
from redsirenbody :
thank you. I love you lots. Laural
from hamiltonian :
I agree with your feelings in LET GO.
from elliorange :
Beautiful words. Beautiful you.
from redsirenbody :
oh my. darling. such power in those words. thank you. thank you. love laural
from pipersplace :
I just love the new template. It's beautiful.
from hlupak :
so if i don'r send birthday love to JeLLy you'll come to my house and sodomize me? is that a promise? i'll leave the door open for you. how do i join your group?
from hlupak :
i did not get your invitation. how do i join your on-line group. you can e-mail me at [email protected] by the way, you're pretty hot to me.
from chickpea981 :
im a bit of a control freak so I think thats why I like being a sub. and yes, I knew that already. thanks for the encouragement. I feel liek I've walked through a door to a secret club and everyone is welcoming me in
from hlupak :
how is the hottest sensualist in california? i just thought of something that would be hot and fun. i would love to kiss your inner thighs and suck your cock while your eating pussy. how about sending me a nude shot of you? i'll send you a before and after shot as soon as i can.
from redsirenbody :
thinking about your little picture fest...no promises. but you really intrigued me with it. love L
from hlupak :
maybe when i upgrade to gold and have access to a digital camera and if you send me a visual aid. you're makin my mouth water, and that is not the onlly thing that's dripping.
from hlupak :
no i don't want a woman, sexually that is. what i want is a hard cock. and foor you, i would shave whatever you want. as a matter of fact i would even let you shave me.
from redsirenbody :
are you doing ok? miss you. love laural
from hlupak :
if you ever want to e-mail me you can e-mail me at [email protected] or if you want to chat on-line you can reach me at [email protected] it's sad to me that we are at the opposite sides of the fucking country.
from redsirenbody :
oh my...you make my mind sing from your words and my body tingle thinking of your touch...one day, my friend. one day. Love L
from redsirenbody :
mmm. well i was more depressed than sick. But I am feeling better now. I know you will be better soon as well. I make a great homemade soup...wish I were there to make it for you. sending smiles your way...L
from redsirenbody :
love you. sorry you are ill. i will be thinking good good thoughts for you! Laural
from redsirenbody :
I like you way too much! L
from redsirenbody :
oh god i love artists. one day you must fuck me after my posing for you. you must. keep happy. Laural
from hlupak :
you're such a tease!
from hlupak :
as soon as i can i will post an entry in my diary with a nice, long description of what i'd do with you. it would definitely get your nice, long dick extended to its fullest length, but what i would do would be even nicer and longer than the description.
from redsirenbody :
yes one of my favorite movies indeed...Love you. Laural
from redsirenbody :
funny cartoon! laural
from hlupak :
i tempt you in that way, because you do it to me with your well written, exhilarating, mouth-watering diary. i love the cartoon of the snails.
from redsirenbody :
oh my. I can say nothing other than: why the fuck aren't you closer?? I am loving you more and more each entry. Goddess bless. Love, Laural
from hlupak :
if i put a link to your diary in my diary would you let me clean you all over with my tongue?
from gumphood :
Without going to wild or deep into, I think you are saying Religion NO, god Yes? Now I have asked this, or rather displayed this before. Without religion what is the point of beleiving in a God. Certainly "the big bang" could be God. A natural event could be GOd. Maybe this universe was a mistake. Maybe we are an electron in an atom, millions of sizes smaller than we think we really are. Withough religion is become silly to beleive in a God because, though "the proof may be in the pudding" there is no "give or take" from a religionless God. Then once we say "some religion, we start making up rules....like heaven, and who gets in and who doesn't. It seems all to forced to me. But I am the confused one. Not you.
from redsirenbody :
Though but one soul in 7 billion, you are making a difference. It takes but one to start...L
from redsirenbody :
Wow. L
from nateboxley :
Last time I purged it out, I realized my mistake. I have to keep these things quiet. ... I have to... not mention certain things. ... I am not a happy person anymore. Are ... are you?
from nateboxley :
hello...I guess...you like me? But I am confused...I am always confused lately. ... Hello.
from hlupak :
i thoroughly enjoy your diary. it stimulates emotions, mind and groin.
from redsirenbody :
beautiful words in that last entry. just wonderful. L
from redsirenbody :
hey you! sent you two pictures so you can see what I look like--well you know as much as you can tell in a picture. You are really a neat guy. Keep happy. L
from redsirenbody :
I am just not good at keeping secrets like that. oh well...
from redsirenbody :
opps. you know my real diary now. I hate it when I do that. L
from lauralgood :
You new photo is great. You never did say if you wanted to see one of me...hmmm. I love your look with long or short hair. You are gorgeous. Thanks for posting. Oh and I re-read your note when I want to feel a pick me up. Love L
from redsirenbody :
OH my Goddess. Shit. The note you left me turned me on more than most anything else could have. Your partner must be beside herself with happiness to have someone who is so completely open with his thoughts and feelings. I am abosolutely impressed with you. I loved the last entry you posted as well. I should send you a photo of myself so you can put a face with the words...I looked at your photolog and well lets just say I was not disappointed. Thank you for your words. You really made my day. And I am reading your words as well. I will have to look into the link you sent, but first I am going to try to post an entry. Love you. L
from redsirenbody :
I am looking forward to whatever you write...I really like all of it. Your words really can help a girl enjoy herself...thanks. L
from vrgnfantsies :
Thank you so much for your lovely welcome. :-) I'm happy to be back. v-girl
from redsirenbody :
Hey I am a Pisces too!
from redsirenbody :
yes, Love. I do believe I feel welcomed to the community. I have been browsing some of your entrys and I think I just may like you a lot. Keep happy.
from pipersplace :
Mine was done by Lobsterchick. She offered out of the blue. A great girl who likes to create templates. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you asking and if she could help, she will. If not, she'll tell you. Although Chickpea's are always pretty hot.
from chickpea981 :
I designed mine and mrgrey's... what are you looking for?
from chillidip :
Thankyou for creating a soft place where sensualists can rest their heads
from mrgrey :
I must echo Piper. I am not worthy of such high praise. As for your note, I understand. Knowing someone was watching would make me put on a better show. I am both voyeur and exhibitionist.
from pipersplace :
Thanks for the kind words and mentioning me in an entry. That was a nice surprise.
from mrgrey :
Thanks for filling out my survey. Yes, it was intended more for women, as they comprise more than 75% of my readership. You'd just sit back and watch? That's no fun. I'm not bi, but am not phobic.
from pricklypeach :
d00d :) you sure you gave me the right email address? it says it doesn't exsist!
from littlespice :
She sounds like a woman to hold onto. Perhaps you could get married at Legoland xx
from pricklypeach :
Glad your back!
from a-nge-l :
i joined ur diaryring! love d diary
from pricklypeach :
I'm so sorry for your loss :'( I know what it's like to lose a most loved pet, and I'm so sorry for u hun *hugs*
from pricklypeach :
hey Brian....where have you been! It's been so long :) update already *poke poke*
from daoinesidhe :
is it what we see or seem ,but a dream within a dream?Come on friend answer me,isent you something a couple of days ago.it's o.k. if you don't want to answer ,i guess...
from rumblelizard :
Oh, sweetie. I am neither nihilistic, apathetic nor anarchistic. I believe in Truth, Democracy, Equality and Justice (things nihilists have no use for.) I vote and am a political activist, which sort of precludes apathy. And anarchy is just plain silly - societies need laws. When lawlessness reigns, you get Ruwanda, Bosnia and Sierra Leone...in other words, brutality and genocide. However, I will cop to being a girl who's punk as fuck and sharp as a razor. ;) Thanks for adding me as a favorite. Hope to see you again.
from pricklypeach :
ok...so I had to change your password. I kinda need somewhere to send it to though! hmm...email address maybe? I know...it's this darn paranoia! email me at [email protected] and I will send you your new password!
from pricklypeach :
hey :) I gaveyou that same password you gave me ;) just makes iteasier that way! *hugs*
from pricklypeach :
after writting the first note, i went to check my notes and realized you already left me a password :) heehee silly me! Thank you Brian!
from pricklypeach :
hey, is it possible for me to gain access? :) oh, and I was wondering...just curious mainly, why that comment about me? :)
from dervishtoast :
hey, thanks for giving me access to your journal! we're having similar problems finding another for our relationship. [mainly people are stupid or ugly, usually both]. old diary: spinacupcake.diaryland.com

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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