DiaryLand members area

I just thought I'd drop you a line and let you know that I added you to my favourites. I've been reading you for months, so I don't know why it took me so long.

from fadein :

ill be damned. life = overland and culver, work = jefferson and national. lets get some coldstone.

from fadein :

wait...and now youre working in culver city? i live in culver city. get out of my dreams and into my suburb.

from fadein :

thats really fucking weird...last weekend was when i had that dream.

from robin-smith :

Oh fuck yeah. Sharks. The Platonic ideal of "terrifying." They haven't evolved in billions of years -- and why? Because there is NO NEED. They are ideally, exactly, perfectly, meticulously designed to KILL YOUR ASS DEAD. Jesus they freak me out.

from littlebub :

Holy mother of god-- that family portrait bit was pure magic. I have tears running my face from laughing- and I don't even know you. I love your family!

from robin-smith :

That banner ad is actually a Billy Bragg lyric ("To Have and to Have Not"). Um, just in case you were wondering. Carry on. And hooray for moving!

from robin-smith :

That's exactly my packing strategy. Except I skip all the fun stuff and go straight for fetal-position weeping. Sometimes to mix things up I develop a tic in my eye that acts up whenever I look at anything resembling a box, packed or otherwise.

from robin-smith :

Done and done. Thank you, my lover.

from robin-smith :

Oh my GOD. Poor Guinn! Poor Claude! I was walking Kara once and ran across a PAIR of unleashed pitbulls. While Kara was in heat, no less. They followed us for about a block, sniffing at Kara, me hollering at them -- I was seriously freaking the fuck out. I can't fucking imagine what I would have done if they'd started something. I hate hate HATE HATE people who don't train/leash their dogs. And jerks who see people in distress and don't fucking help. Argh. Now I'm mad.

from robin-smith :

Have faith in the sugar! Just because something is vegan, doesn't mean it has to be healthy! I make kickass chocolate fake-cheesecake. Even my sceptical coworkers made yum noises.

from robin-smith :

What the fuck is that shit?! Cake and cookies are my bread and butter (much to the detriment of my statuesque...ness). Since I'm vegan, they're an extra-special treat when I can get them. (Since I've become vegan, I've coincidentally become quite the little baker. I can make a batch of cookies, with no recipe, in twenty minutes flat. BAM!)

from robin-smith :

OH GOD I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT. The pathos level around here just went up eight degrees. If I can no longer taste sweet sweet cake, all is lost.

from robin-smith :

It's pathos a go-go today, that's for damn sure. We are fucking troopers, and deserve much cake. Now where'd I leave my shunt? (Also: many moons ago, I had the pleasure of owning a T-shirt from the now-defunct stereo company "Realistic." It featured the word "realistic" in large print across my breasts. THAT was ironic-funny.)

from robin-smith :

Wacky sister hijinks tomorrow, I promise!

from robin-smith :

I might totally steal your rad idea for my Great Transcontinental Migration. Just this morning I was eyeing my jampacked closet and wondering what might fetch a bob or two on E-bay. Now send me something cool, yo! (But small.)

from robin-smith :

"The sparkle of wonderment that fills their eyes..." Too bad it's not a Grammar Fair.

from mommylap :

Actually the Marc Jacobs size 6 might run a little big. High end sportswear tends to since it apparently sends consumers into a frenzy thinking they are smaller than they are. I am jealous of your $12 coat. Excellent taste in designers, cupcake.

from kristintracy :

Spewing fluids! It may be something about Diet Coke, though. My brother nearly showered his monitor with Diet Coke, Vanilla flavor, the other day while i was IMing him. HIP, HIP, HOORAY!

from robin-smith :

Well, now it's been scientifically proven! Hail progress! ...Long time no hear, byt the way. You should send me an e-mail-type-thing sometime.

from robin-smith :

Welcome back! And also, the weirdness continues unabated. Sideburns and I were just discussing EXACTLY THAT the other day (reaching, naturally, the same "life don't owe you shit" conclusion), and we were also mocking the "one set of footsteps" Jesus Poster, along with its partner in saccharine, mindless optimism: the "hang in there" cat. At least that cat knows he's only got his claws to rely on.

from ladyvivien :

Now Oasis are going to track you down and bite you. They're from Manchester, not Liverpool, and ergo not Scouse ;)

from robin-smith :

Thanks babe! Hey, did you get my e-mail? I think I sent it to your work account.

from robin-smith :

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe"? Oh fuck me, I'm CRYIN' over here.

from orpheusd0wn :

Dickens no. Faulkner.

from robin-smith :

You should post a warning on this entry: "May cause genuinely embarrassing sniffling if read during work hours." Ouch.

from robin-smith :

"'The shallow drowned lose less than we,' you breathe..." Word. Yes, go pick up Ute Lemper's "The Punishing Kiss". The whole album is great.

from robin-smith :

OK, I am leaving notes like a motherfucker today; but I MUST tell you to immediately go listen to Ute Lemper singing "Little Water Song" by Nick Cave. A dead girl singing to the lover who drowned her? Yes please.

from robin-smith :

Yeah, he's stated his intention to win me something cute, fuzzy, and freakishly huge. I'd barf, except...hee. Pictures forth-fucking-coming, fer sher.

from robin-smith :

Dagnabbit! Next time I'll have to look her up. I'm going with Le Boy this time anyway, so it's all about romantic dinners and schmoopy midway moments.

from robin-smith :

Which penguin are you?

from robin-smith :

The synchronicity, it is powerful. What are we being told? Where is my secret decoder ring for life, I ask you? Also, so true about the Jackass. I'm all "Man, I really feel like I should be all contemptuously dismissive about this, but OH MY GOD HE'S GOT A TOY CAR UP HIS ASS HA HA HA HA HA HA." And Bam is also hot.

from robin-smith :

Good lord, today's entry is GOLD. My grandma was like that with my clothes, but way beyond just washing -- I was mortified as a twelve-year-old to discover one vacation morn that she'd SEWED UP the rips in my favourite jeans. NOOOOOO! Jordan Knight will never love me NOW!

from robin-smith :

Oh...muh...GAH. She is such a cutiepants! (Kara pictures soon.)

from robin-smith :

[blush] Oh, you!

from robin-smith :

Damn straight. I'll post away. Unlike her owner, she's very photogenic.

from robin-smith :

I shall. I just need to think of a way to do it that doesn't come off all "OhmyGOD look how CUTE my pet is! Isn't my pet CUTE? Don't you want to see more pictures of my pet, because she is so PRECIOUS?" even though that's totally how I am.

from robin-smith :

Wow, that reminds me of living in Quebec. People just let their dogs roam EVERYWHERE, shitting where it struck their fancy and making an unholy mess on garbage day. Ah, yokels. -- Hey, did you see the new CMA? I just edited my entry to add a plug.

from robin-smith :

"bullshit emoclash name resulting from string of unrelated nouns" ...BWHAHA! You certainly have your finger on the pulse of the po-pomo generation, and you're choking the living shit out of it. And well done, I say!

from jmalfunction :

i love your new layout!

from captvfirefly :

I ran across your diary through the members area - I have found a new favorite! That entry with the email/rap thing - priceless. Just wanted to let you know you've got a new fan. Carry on. :)

from robin-smith :

Hee. Will do. This could be the next craze in reality TV. Survivor, eat our dust!

from robin-smith :

Welcome to my art-school life of alcoholism and poverty. Sometimes we wouldn't even wait for people to abandon their drinks. It was more of a challenge that way. Akin to white-water rafting, except with fewer pointy rocks and more pissed-off bike couriers.

from robin-smith :

Sometimes I like to get really crazy and LEAVE MY GLASS UNATTENDED. 'Danger' is my middle name.

from towelphaser :

well,if you're ever in the same predicament and staring at an eggplant, FOR MY SAKE make some baba gannouj, don't eat that slimy ass shit straight.

from towelphaser :

they taste kinda tinny, the texture is wierd, but damn they're tasty bitches.

from towelphaser :

i used to eat chick peas right out of the can, with a fork. rock on, soul sista

from pillow-wept :

..its funny you mentioned richard ashcroft. just today while i was at work drowning in sorrow & bitterness & boredom, i was listening to some verve demos *which are basically richard and an acoustic* and i was thinking ..."ahh....why is this man just so insanely good...?" .. just thought it was funny is all. x

from robin-smith :

I loaf ya!

from patadrina :

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

from thecritic :

Woohoo feral ass sucking goats! Err I think my dyslexia kicked in when trying to memorize that quote. Dammit!

from robin-smith :

OK, weird weird weird. I JUST SAW a dead baby bird the other day (and thought "Man, that's an ill portent if there ever was one"), and it's STILL squirrels a go-go all over the place. What is the universe trying to tell us?

from robin-smith :

You? And me? At seventeen? Twins. Right down to the punk rock parking lot shenanigans.

from robin-smith :

I carried a Sharpie with me at all times in my "conveniently multi-pocketed leather jacket" days. In other news, AAAAAUUUUUGGGH! My stalker just wrote me an e-mail. Just when I thought I was safe.

from robin-smith :

Man, my only crafts-y skill is making candles and lip balm. So hard to use that for evil and not good.

from robin-smith :

Did you embroider that yourself? You are the anti-Martha Stewart! "It's a very baaaaaad thing, baby."

from robin-smith :

I can forgive the pointy-toed shoes as long as they are not combined with lace-up polyester pants and the words "OMIGOD! Justin Timberlake! Hold my cooler while I go dance!" Also, I KNOW! Thank god for that hundred year sunset on text copyright. I read a whole Mary Elizabeth Braddon online in a week. I'm thinking of taking on "Wings of the Dove" as my slacking project of the month.

from smartypants :

Wow. And you really ate circus peanuts.

from robin-smith :

Word.

from robin-smith :

Too much coffee. Stuttering.

from robin-smith :

Yeah, we're sexy! We're abrasively whimsical! Where's OUR gibbering harem of mindless groupies?

from robin-smith :

Yeah, we're sexy! We're abasively whimsical! Where's OUR gibbering harem of mindless groupies?

from robin-smith :

Dude. I'm all over that. I'm crafty like ice is cold. We'll be rich! Rich I tell you! Or at least very very cool. Rich in postmodern-hipster cred, as it were.

from robin-smith :

Brendan is going to make an embroidered sampler depicting poo. I think we should have a crafts sale.

from robin-smith :

I think I just will. With a life-sized portrait to keep me warm on those long, cold winter nights. Ooh, Jon! You're so fuzzy, baby!

from robin-smith :

INAPPROPRIATE EMBROIDERED SAMPLERS RULE. If I had the time and skill, I'd love to embroider, like, KISS lyrics on a sampler. Or a Camus quote from 'Nausea'. With a border of fluffy kittens gamboling, as is their wont.

from robin-smith :

I am pretty proud of that one. I wish I could commemorate it in a bumper sticker or something.

from robin-smith :

Eek! Thanks for the heads-up. So to speak. Ahem.

from brennass :

I generally have two moods: wanting to die and not wanting to die

from robin-smith :

I get the same reaction with my Rottie girl. Kids are just drawn to her like little pink magnets. I always make her sit so they can pet her.

from towelphaser :

HIO!!! that's some passing ACTION.

from lightfallsup :

thanks.

from robin-smith :

MAN. I totally did the "devil's horns" rock-out hand gesture, IRONICALLY, thank you very much, in front of these girls I met from butt-fuck Ontario? They did not get it. My use of the Gene Simmons flicking tongue action and the words "Give 'er!" to futher emphasize the rockingness? Also not appreciated. What is UP with people?

from pillow-wept :

if i lived closer to where you live - we could both swoon melodramatically to the cure .. they ARE my favorite band everrrrr. & i could use some of that swoonin' youre talkin' about. x

from pillow-wept :

"i'm going home before i get all Morrissey on your asses." ... greatness... i mean - not the mood, but just that line. shit. what i meant to say is "ugh!" x

from towelphaser :

well write a guest entry for classicmyass while you've got the hating juices flowing.

from towelphaser :

hehhee. sorry. i can't keep this up. you win this round.

from towelphaser :

i also find this extremely funny, albeit painfully awkward how BADLY you want to get all up in my junk.

from towelphaser :

oh come on, you scratch my back, i'll help you shave yours.

from towelphaser :

LUNGE at you? there will be no LUNGING. look, if it means this much to you, then YOU can cut my damn hair.

from towelphaser :

don't make me cut you, harridan.

from towelphaser :

THE SEED OF CRIME BEARS BITTER FRUIT, YOU HAG!!!

from towelphaser :

sure thing, CLOD.

from towelphaser :

and shaving your toes does not count as "cutting your own hair"

from towelphaser :

"overly greasy cigarettes* YEAH RIGHT. i broke your code, foo.

from towelphaser :

CUT IT MYSELF?!? are you smoking crack or did you just have one too many vodka enemas? evenn *i* don't trust myself with scissors.

from towelphaser :

just be glad i never had to roll out the big guns.

from towelphaser :

strong words... CATSNIFFER.

from towelphaser :

shudder... that has nothing to do with being an artist, that's just twisted.

from towelphaser :

holy crap, i guess i'm just used to duking it out with brenna.

from towelphaser :

that's because i'm over here. that's my cat. next time wear your glasses.

from towelphaser :

maybe i'd have less trouble typing if you'd stop using your damn teeth.

from towelphaser :

then you're the guy even FURTHER out of the rame, writing on the ground and choking on a pubic hair.

from towelphaser :

no, YOU'RE that oily guy on the right.

from towelphaser :

ohhhh man that's kinky.

from towelphaser :

she looks like a pissed off sarah silverman.

from pillow-wept :

thank you. so so much :) virtual hugs are just as good as the real thing! x

from pillow-wept :

thanks. i swear to god, your diary (and that design!!) kick some serious ass. x

from robin-smith :

Har! I wish my parents were like that. Sadly, it turned out to be a mistake on the part of the florist. The card should have read "Happy Easter and Bon Voyage!" I like the non-specific anniversary message better. Surrealist floral offerings make my day.

from daisyankh :

i feel your pain on the tall thing. i'm 6'1". everyone tells me it must be so great to be tall... it blows. shopping is a nightmare, you bump your head on stuff, driving and flying are way cramped, you can't wear heels without scaring most men away... and all the men taller than me are dating 5'0"-5'5" former cheerleaders. i'm the tallest person in my department (of 40 people) including the men. about once a week i'm asked to get something off a high shelf. then i get to hear about how great it is to be tall, for the hundredth time. whoo hoo! i can reach stuff without standing on a chair! envy me!

from robin-smith :

Dude, I'm so with you on the vigilante proofreading. I actually stopped dead in a mall the other day in front of a sign bearing my arch-nemesis, the lone misplaced possessive apostrophe (why, in a LIST of objects, do people insist on sticking that apostrophe on just ONE item? WHY, FUCKERS?), and started yelling, right in front of the store's employees. "You're making a SIGN! For your BUSINESS! Hire a fucking EDITOR for the ONE SENTENCE!" ...Um, what was that about too much caffeine?

from robin-smith :

Mister Zero mentioned squirrels in her latest entry. It's the four rodents of the fucking apocalypse, I swear.

from robin-smith :

Word. Take that, Jeremy's Giant Ego! (Weirdly, the banner ad right now features a picture of a squirrel. What's with the squirrels? Is this some sort of rodent portent?)

from orpheusd0wn :

Little in this world hurts like infidelity, it saddened me to read how often that had happened to you.

from ladyvivien :

Hmmm...just stumbled across it, but already I'm liking. Generally my grammar is better than this ;)

from brennass :

one time watching someone eat cereal (major spoon biting) was so painful i actually screamed "I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE". And then when i break up with them, its not good enough. I like to constantly crush thier spirits. break them down.

from brennass :

i am so glad i am not the only one. i always amaze myself at how fast infatuation can turn into pure hatred.

from jmalfunction :

the flag was stolen from clango.org. i think perhaps it's best not to look at the glass at all.

from robin-smith :

There are some feelings that can only be expressed by the word "glaargle!" Thank you, Jeremy.

from jmalfunction :

heyyyyyyy there, you're pretty damn cool.

from robin-smith :

It's a date. Towelphaser and I are fleeing this crumbling civilization to the wilds of northern Ontario. Your inherited trapping skills will come in handy. Hope you like beaver!

from robin-smith :

OK, you like Paul Bettany AND Jon Spencer (especially "Bellbottoms")? Dude, you are my girlfriend.

from robin-smith :

Thanks for the tip! And hey, Knight's Tale wasn't so bad. Paul Bettany (Naked Anachronistic Chaucer) is Sexy McHotass.

from robin-smith :

Why thank you. I use my Jedi mind powers every day. "This is not the docket you're looking for." "That's not the docket I'm looking for."

from robin-smith :

Robin is a jedi. Robin is available for adoption. Robin is a bad boy again. Ha!

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