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Jo! I called you at home but missed you. Are you still in town? Can we see each other? I just moved into a new apartment in Little Italy, there's a balcony and a glass of red wine with your name on it.

from lakemarie :

Question: do you think I could have your address at Bishop's? There's something i wanna pass your way. xo

from lakemarie :

hope you are here in the summer. think of us biking all over town!

from lakemarie :

Jo! I see I've missed your calls, I'm sorry, I'm in Toronto until the 1rst! I'll call you when I wake up first thing on the 2nd. Hope all is well, it's been great hanging out. xox A

from lakemarie :

brilliant, I'm so down. I've got plans with mum on the 24, 25 so I will call you on the twenty-sixth. Desmond's was SO fun with you. xoxo

from lakemarie :

YEEHA Jo. I'm here, I'm done, I'm ready for fun. We already have an agenda: 1. Milroy Christmas Party, 2. Hanging out with Alex Copeman (he works at McGill, we've rekindled). Just give me a call when you're free, and we'll make plans! Can't wait. xo. Anna Trow.

from lakemarie :

I can't wait for the next time you're in Montreal - and we and goof around. xo.

from lakemarie :

i feel like at one point it would just feel really good to say: LEAVE ME ALONE.

from jaylower :

go to the chat room please

from jaylower :

hey I just want to ask if I can in your farvorite diaries please If you do that great because I fill that you are my friend still on line catch me when I am online right now please

from jaylower :

Hi happy holidays and hope you have a great holidays

from jaylower :

hey what are you doing my real name is Jayda what is your when get this go to jaylower that is me please

from kay3300 :

hey... i know what you mean about the damage being done... i unload so much here and i know that its gonna haunt me, but its good for the soul so to hell with it is what i say lol kay

from lakemarie :

i really miss your words. (and your face) will you be home for the milroy party on dec. 22?

from kay3300 :

oh yea... lol my email is: [email protected]

from kay3300 :

hi, just lettin u know.... i am a fan of your diary, lets me know that i am not alone but... you locked it :( kay3300

from kiss--me :

soo whats the deal?

from lakemarie :

noooo

from lakemarie :

thank you so much for coming, it was such a highlight. all my love.

from kay3300 :

'i don't trust myself or my emotions right now -' I feel this..... on so many levels kay

from dry-pavement :

i went to your work today. with my dad. you weren't there. they said you were coming later. we sat outside.

from lakemarie :

no jo- you give such sound advice. i really listen to what you have to say, and it always makes things clearer. i just ranted about my brother in that entry because i found out after you guys left that he didn't get accepted as an L.I.T. at kanawana; a perfect example of what i was saying. ah well.

from lakemarie :

JO. you're right, i don't. i've never been afraid of the dark, mice or spiders but the phone scares the shit out of me. we are drinking on the curb tonight. you must come. if you are working i'll come visit you. i'll call you this afternoon.

from dry-pavement :

i need you.

from kiss--me :

omg i'm going to visit you all the time! congrats

from dry-pavement :

i'll be back on the 10th or 11th. i'll be home for two weeks.

from dry-pavement :

you. your message on my phone. on my 20th. was, well. i'm not i know. but hearing your voice crack with tears is enough to make me wonder how long it's been since you and me were ndg and coffee together. were a walk. a real walk in a neiborhood WE KNOW. i miss knowing. and as many people as we continue to meet. lives we change and beds we share. as many, there's something priceless about knowing. trully fucking knowing. like the way i know the way your hair will always part. the number on your jersey. KNOWING is my rock steady. and that's you girl. just thought i'd let you know. it's cold tonight in new york. and you feel too far. and that's just not right. all my love. all my words. soon. soon? deal? deal.

from kay3300 :

thanks for leaving me a note... i was drawn to your page because of the way you write... its very compelling and honest, reminded me of... well, me. lol at least i know now that i am not alone in how i feel. thanks again :) kay

from kiss--me :

straight out of a movie! I can't wait for this weekend when we will get together and gush. can't wait to see that incredibly huge smile on your face (at the slight mention of him)

from taxine :

joe. call me when you get in!

from cadilliac :

jo: i am in vancouver. i'll be home on the 31. will call. much love.

from kiss--me :

embarrasing maybe but shame? nonono. not at all

from verdun :

joanna... you have to trust the force. believe that you are love-able. you are love--able. don't doubt. we waste too much time thinking about the disastrous, heart-breaking end of things. love opens you up, melts your shell and it's vulnerable time... but believe it. when you look in the mirror, try to see the goods that other people see in you, that you sometimes ignore when you're too busy seeing the bad. chin up soldier. keep falling!

from kiss--me :

you sound so fucking happy. well done!

from kiss--me :

GOODLUCK my dear! study your head off until you're done then take a little you time. I like undulging in a whole day in bed watching movies. thats actually my plan this saturday after my midterms are over. hope everything works out and i can't wait to see you (whenever that will be) xox

from kiss--me :

whats the number? ill try to call one day soon. (once my two tests are over) miss you xox

from lakemarie :

jo are you coming to visit anytime soon? i am hopeful.

from lakemarie :

aw man YES i love those teachers LOVE THEM. they make all the difference.

from therethere- :

torrential downpour at 4.am last night = very symbolic of how i felt about our outing. you are an avalanche.

from therethere- :

i made it to the top of the xxxxaton just so you know. our names are still there. love arnab.

from dry-pavement :

are you home? can you check email if you're not? i love you.

from therethere- :

strange. i had one about you last week. we were driving a plane on top of a beach. and i think i tried kissing you. or it could have been someone else. but you were definitely in the dream. i,we, were on this plane, flying on top of a beach, and other people were there too. probably my friends. i think i crash-landed onto the water, and there were rubber duckies floating around, as well as a red power ranger replica. hmm...freud would certainly rub his chin repeatedly over this one. maybe we can have a nice little interpreation session at that (to me) quite classy restaurant? with the big booths and hamburger steaks and unnecessary peas.

from dry-pavement :

sorry for the wirdness of last night. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

from dry-pavement :

whoa. it's done. fuck. what do i do know. damn. i might need you for silence.

from kiss--me :

is there any way i can help in the bio department? studying of an exam?

from therethere- :

hmmmmmm...socks?

from dry-pavement :

baby, can i hold you?

from kiss--me :

i feel like that was directed right to me! it's not dismissing a past love. its not the same love. it doesn't just get passed from one person to another, it starts from scratch again and for me this time it just grew a lot faster.

from therethere- :

i HAVE to see you this weekend. have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to. i have just enough money for rum and cokes on the third floor of the sheraton. and shoes to dance with old people. a permanent marker, and more than enough time apart to say i miss you.

from kiss--me :

no such thing as saying too much when it's just us girls. i found it really interesting what you were saying (particularly at the end) and i was kinda disapointed when we had to stop. maybe another time. xox

from kiss--me :

any reason in particular? i have no idea what's been up in your life! we need to see each other! next week? im goig to cheers tomorrow night if your interested. a bientot. xox

from therethere- :

me too. i waited at the corner of st-catherine and mcgill an extra minute or so, just in case you chose to appear.

from lakemarie :

jo, this thursday night a bunch of us are going to foufounes...if you don't have early class on friday...wanna come??

from lakemarie :

me too. friday nights are for homework at the library, saturday nights are for homework at home. fucking work. (its okay thats what this time of year is about)

from kiss--me :

have a good trip and call me up when you get back. xoxoxoxo

from lakemarie :

Exo-fruit! its a grocery store on cote-des-neiges.

from lakemarie :

i hope your semester ROCKS, jo. kiss.

from lakemarie :

its so interesting to read your entry on durga's visitors...because i feel exactly the same way!

from out-of-town :

babe, im sorry about last night. i was really cracked out and i wasn't really sure what me and meghan were doing, but i really want to see you before christmas if you have time give a me call. xoxo

from kiss--me :

IM DONE! so time to catch up. we seriously need to catch up. we are doing another underwear exchange, you in? we are celebrating at peel tomorrow (thrusday). early so no fucking line. xox

from lakemarie :

i'm done the fifteenth. I CANT WAIT FOR A COFFEE. and movies. and drinks. and snowmen. i have a cell. the number's 7157883. can't wait to hear about these boys...

from therethere- :

while walking, sometimes, at night, by neon lights, on such and such corner, main street; i get a desperate urge to move you, like a chess piece, wherever you are, and place you onto the next block, waiting to bump into me. so we could meet mr.janitor and ask him what he thought. permanancy. im good, thanks. hope to see you soon.

from dorianshayle :

Oh man, I think I know him. Does he have fabulous boots/ flair for fashion? And does he write poetry? If he does, I really think I know him or I know another French guy named Will who's super-hot. Anyway, point is: YAY!((This is Kim, by the way))

from lakemarie :

i've had a couple a those. i tend to start laughing when the sun comes up...keep that coffee dripping!

from dry-pavement :

(505) 454-4210

from lakemarie :

aaaawwwwww fuck. call me if you want to talk. or even if you don't. we'll go for a walk.

from dry-pavement :

i called you. i left a message. your cell was off. i called you. (i am an overwhelming amount of 'fucks', 'shits', 'oh my gods'...)i called.

from taxine :

go to atwater. taxine is dying a slow painful death.

from lakemarie :

jo...can you come out on thursday? for megan's birthday? and everyone is welcome to stay in my home afterwards. maybe we'll finally be able to see eachother!!

from lakemarie :

i wish i had made it to the party, i wanted to see you, but i just couldn't pull it together...just one of those weekends...

from dry-pavement :

roumf.

from lakemarie :

i tried calling your cell last weekend. but didn't get through. and then here we are at next weekend. i might just have to show up at starbucks.

from dry-pavement :

how's the theatre?

from lakemarie :

a good kind of scary though...don't ya think?

from compclass :

Hey I love your user name, It's helpful in a lot of things!!

from dry-pavement :

ummm ditto. but in a completely different way.

from ingredients :

it seems that we're only perfectly satisfied and we can only love someone else, when we love ourselves and become dependant only on ourselves. it only "worked" for me when i was first, what i loved came back into the picture and he loved me more for how much i love myself. now, any mountain seems unproportionaly small and every tunnel seems way too bright. A piece of advice, it only gets better once you are comfortable with where YOU are.

from lakemarie :

i had a physics teacher last semester. a drop dead gorgeous indian woman: scholarship to a university in London. and then, i was at a jazz bar, and i saw an add for her solo jazz performance on saturday night....

from lakemarie :

whoa. back it up. i'm on jo withdrawal and i'm started to get the shakes. waaaayyy to long.

from vbitch :

Hey there...I'm going through the Montreal member list and inviting everyone to partake in a little get together at McKibbins on the 24th of September. Drop me a note/email if you're interested! Cheers.

from dry-pavement :

happy for you babe

from lakemarie :

too bad about last night. the dancing was nice. the wine was fine. but what we really need is little bit of mellow....us-time.

from dry-pavement :

who? what? write me. i don't like seeing shadows. tell me your dreams. vent me your knots.

from ingredients :

I've just recently "celebrated", if you will, a year and a half. 6 months is when you question, when all your needs and his are in prospective and it is clear that the other is willing to offer to take of these needs and vice versa. You'll never make him happy if you arent happy with the way things are. Think of yourself, and rest assured 6 more months will be done...

from motivate-me1 :

if only i could tell you how many times i've felt those if's or when's or how's. If only you could know that you are not alone in your feelings. I've resorted to living by day..months are scary figures.

from lakemarie :

oh absolutely. we say it and we mean it and we'll make it happen. before the first snowfall.

from dry-pavement :

no matter. whenever. on the phone. at a bar. on the bus. between conversation. it's always gold with you. it's always good. it's always satisfied. because we'll make a big deal about the second time around. but we shouldn't. because as far as i can tell--goodbyes are no longer necessary. everytime is gold. catching up is always calming. joe. you've been such perfection in my summer. love is the time we spent together. nothing changed that--no job, no boy, no schedule. it was always fucking gold.

from ingredients :

coffee never sounded more refreshing... we'll have to make a date.

from lakemarie :

it's interesting that you can use the word egocentric in reference to yourself, or your reality. because you really are the kind of woman who values others' opinions and sadnesses and good moments. and who can listen and contribute with ease. and whose presence is never overly dominating, but always Meaningful. egocentric is probably the last word that comes to mind. and I'm sure, that your experience at both extremes of the social spectrum that you are a part of, will only make it easier for you to find a really smooth Moderation. and. i have more books for you joanna.

from taxine :

"i have no regrets. i loved my life then and i love my life now. i just think about those that i lost along the way sometimes. i think about those that were so kind and i dismissed because i got caught up in my own world. my own egocentric reality." - yes. yes. yes. yes. SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT.

from good-evil :

Hi there, Thanks for requesting for a review. However, we require a link back to our site on your diary before your request can be approved! Thanks! :)

from good-evil :

Hi there! We're a new review site and we're currently looking for diaries to review. If you'd like to submit your diary in for a review, pls feel free to visit us and request! Thanks and have a great day! - Good vs Evil Reviews (good-evil.diaryland.com)

from lakemarie :

smile.

from mer- :

hey mama

from dry-pavement :

why the tears?

from ingredients :

A little taste of RWA. Im in your boat Joanna. missing the familiar faces... keep in touch...please

from mer- :

tutors

from therethere- :

i might be getting a job at starbucks- at the faubourg. hmmmmmm! ive also been reading up a lot on authentic indian recipes...

from kiss--me :

i have no idea what is going on in your life anymore! you are moving out? huh? fill me in. it's summer now, we both have plenty of time. xox

from mer- :

hell yeah. its a wonderful answer

from lakemarie :

jo i think thats a damn good answer.

from lakemarie :

how was the wedding? you were missed.

from out-of-town :

its all just unfourtunate conclusions. i appreciate your optimism and thank you for your thoughts. i wish we were together too.... but wishful thinking doesn't always play out. have a good weekend at the wedding.

from fat-tony :

i remind u of a mother? thats funny:p

from lakemarie :

i shouldn't have asked. but doorway conversation initiators are usually pretty crappy. i'm going to come see this next play of yours. and you know, i've thought about that part of the book before.

from neverheals :

Hey, just got your note. thanks for stoping by its cool to hear from you and all. so are you doing good? hope you are. i like seeing people happy you know. and thats cool you feel alive in the note you gave me. not sure if you still are though but i hope so. sorry it took me so long to write back havent been on in a while. have been donw a little lately and it causes me to fall behind on things but ya its cool. well i am going to go read k. hope to hear form you soon take care k. bye

from neverheals :

Hey, stoped by to say hi and to see whats going on seeing as i have not been here in a while. but ya its ok. well hope everything is going good well i am going to go read bye. and take care

from nobull420 :

just wondering.. whats an ilk?

from taxine :

joe i would send you a password, but you see what happened, right? i dont send out new passwords for taxine because im scared that nat and brian will invite themselves in again. i'm waiting for ruth to get back from guadeloupe so i can call her right after i send out a password and have her erase it from her email account. you're welcome to read my private thoughts, i mean you hear them all the time, but those little spies (and their ilk) are what put me on untrusting edge.

from out-of-town :

joanna, please i need you to help me. you're the only one. when the rest of them say they will its lies. i only believe you.

from good-enough :

you dont need shit like that to be who you should be. you are wonderful, and doubting youself, as easy as it is, doesnt do you justice. stay in the spotlight forever.

from neverheals :

Hey whats going on? well sounds like things went bad sorry. hope it all gets better. but ya came by to see how you have been and what you have been up to. not that its any of my busines but ya. just checking up. hehe i like your diary.

from lakemarie :

jo, i said i would come on sunday night. but its my last night with the out-of-towners, and we're having people over. sorry. i hope it goes better than saturday night. break a leg.

from lakemarie :

i've been craving a library day.

from on-the-roof :

it's nice to be walking outside on a sunday. yes?

from little-freak :

i wish I could say I've been wondering the same thing (about melissa joan).

from neverheals :

Hey, just stoped by to say hi. so whats been going on? nothin much here. just wanted to stop by cause i havent been by in a while. read your diary. well i am not sure if you were one that wanted to read my diary or not but anyways if you were its opened now so you could come by if you want to. well talk to you later. bye

from neverheals :

Hey whats going on? I like your entrys cause they could have different meanings you know like to everybody. cause your not coming straight out and saying what is wrong but the way they are everybody could get a different idea of what they mean and plus they could mean something to us to cause they really make u think and remind well me anyway things in my life and its cool. so ya i really like reading your diary. hope everythings cool. well talk to u later. and take it easy

from neverheals :

seems like things went pretty bad tonight that hella sucks. hope things start looking up. well take it easy k. talk to u later k. bye

from neverheals :

i see that u are on right notw to thats cool. well anyways just wanted to stop by and say hi. cause i havent been here in a while. well i am going to read your new entry k. well talk to u later.

from lakemarie :

do not worry -- every night is a girl's night.

from lakemarie :

dear jo, so sorry it was like that. we talked, she's better, you know how adolescent fragility is just so...powerful sometimes. thank you for understanding. je t'aime. and next time will be better.

from lakemarie :

i'm on break -- when can i see you?

from neverheals :

Hey, whats going on? Thanks for the note also. and your welcome to. well i am going to go read your diary k. hope everything is going fine and if u want to talk email me at [email protected]

from mer- :

jo he said such beautiful things about the future he wants with you. talk to me

from kiss--me :

a date. you and me. and nobody else. next week. anytime. because we no longer have our 162 mornings. and we don't get to talk all that often. lets break the pattern. ok? good. so i'll call you. xox

from neverheals :

You shouldnt put your self down so much. I am positive u are good at something everybody is. And i am positive everything will get better to. I mean i have been their also when i was in school i couldnt take tests worth shit cuase i didnt remember the stuff they told us in class. Shit i barely got my homework in. And their is alot of other stuff but i dont want to get into it right now. but with your whole memory thing i am just like that i forget everything and have to be reminded all the time. my parents get mad at me about it to. but i cant help it. everybody is deffernt. and thats how i am different from the rest of my family my memory is worth shit. but i dont let what people say get to me. and u shouldnt either. man this was suppose to make u feel better i hope it did caus i lost my whole train of thought cause i was going to say something and it sounded good in my head but it didnt come out the same. well i tryed right and i hope it does make u feel better. and dont beat your self up so much k. bye

from mer- :

she brought you up with classical music and athletics. thats good shit too joe.

from ingredients :

i just learned how to send notes after ive written my 137 diary. And i wanted to let you know, Joanna, that im a loyal fan of your life, and although today everything negative about yourself and the world seems to be the only things shinning through, i expect that tomorrow, you'll pull through until you reach everything positive about yourself and your world. its a pleasure reading about you. always

from cadilliac :

someone had to, right? or am i way off? just trying to be honest..

from lakemarie :

thank you for the words joanna.

from gashin :

"i'm not crazy and i'm not single." i like that.

from lakemarie :

oh dear I WISH - i work on sunday mornings though. we need to make another date...when i'm on march break i'm all yours joanna.

from dry-pavement :

a huge weight off of your shoulders. (mine too). are you happy?

from lakemarie :

made me smile to see the book on your hands when you walked in.

from lakemarie :

for friday night plans: if you are free call me. for saturday night plans: if you are free, doyle's. hope to see you.

from lakemarie :

honestly jo I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.

from therethere- :

this weekend maybe?

from dry-pavement :

i need to scream (with you)

from lakemarie :

dear all is falling and landing on its feet. muah - coffee, soon or maybe we should just go all out and have some double decker chocolate cake. telephonez moi, as late as you want.

from mer- :

ditto ditto ditto a free flowing highway has 2 lanes 7794236. anytime jojoba.

from lakemarie :

good! i'm glad. i found that at one point...i cared more about those characters then what was going on in my own life.

from cadilliac :

tremblant was fun but everything feels fake now that a week has passed

from motivate-me1 :

I'll tell him that. Mr. Mateus: the one we once called a geek out of ignorance. None of us could understand WHY he was so genuinely nice, but that's it, there's nothing more and nothing less. Thanks for your words, your entry was reassuring. We all grow and discover. I guess it's part of who we are. Sometimes i think that kids are maturing too quickly though, not enough time for rainbows, too much time for sex. I wish i could help them to see. We've started a girls club, for grade 7's, we're venturing on new terf but i hope it's positive. Less cheesy 80's diagrams and more real life. Who knows, and i'll keep that in mind. Advice from you, it's one more year of experience, might be helpful.

from lakemarie :

just a hello. i feel like during school it will take more effort to see you, but i'm really gonna need to make it.

from out-of-town :

i was right. theres no room for me.

from dry-pavement :

shhhh, baby, shhh. hide under your blanket and close your eyes.

from motivate-me1 :

What if i saw you in person? Smile..you have a warm smile. YOu know the facts..The internet has forever changed social interaction.

from lakemarie :

i hope you got that note - really wanted to thank you for the bed and warmth of your home.

from little-freak :

if you ever want to use my cello feel free...

from out-of-town :

joanna, call me. i miss you. i want to hear about you. i want you to hear about. i want to smoke you on a joint somewhere. i want to sit with you somewhere.

from therethere- :

i.owe you plenty of dough. you owe me time. im thinking, expensive dinner maybe? monday-night- bateman-marathon and the eventual emotional hangover/excellent to have you there during that trip.

from lakemarie :

can't wait to hear about the trip. can't wait. birthday soon! we'll finally get to do coffee...MY TREAT.

from mer- :

curtis parker was here. i had him to myself for two full days and two full nights. talked about all there is. he remembered you as the girl i was alwatys friends with. he goes, wheres joanna? remember when robert came to willingdon and picked me up and curtis was hiding in the backseat and i smashed my head when i saw him and ran and got you and was overwhelmed with joy and excstatic? like every other time my cousin was near. im so happy you knew him. damn. it was too amazing to see him again.

from little-freak :

yeah its funny several people have come up to me in the last little while telling me they know pat in some way or another. its a small world. you too, happy new eyar i mean.

from little-freak :

East of Eden by John Steinbeck is what im reading right now.

from lakemarie :

you're home! yes. merry christmas dear.

from mer- :

not so pretentious. quite honest actually. christmas is a day most people wont let go wrong. and just that. makes it glow like hell from every day of the year. everyone contributes. kindly.

from dry-pavement :

come home.

from kiss--me :

when do you come back? i miss you. merry christmas xox

from out-of-town :

thank you joanna. it means a lot. this is a tough time and it is nice to have support from someone who i know cares for me. call as soon as you get in. merry christmas, baby.

from little-freak :

My sister was one of the kids, 'yohanna' i think her name was. One of the ones in the middle, who was onstage by herself singing right before 'the branch on the linden' (that song was defintiely nostalgic)

from out-of-town :

thank you for realising. youre one of the few who always knows exactly what im talking about. i makes me feel good inside for a fleeting second.

from kiss--me :

it seems like nobody could sleep last night. you would have benefitted from our aimless driving around Mtl in the wee hours. it does the body good to be with the people you care about and who you know care about you. and next time we'll do a fondue for two. toi et moi. kisses

from little-freak :

and it's funny because right now all I feel like is getting the fuck out of there. Like I just can't even take it any more. Yet I can't imagine being anywhere else. Five years of the same routine, and the little things too. And by the way I saw your brother in the Sound of Music (with my little sister).

from lakemarie :

i emailed you. looking forward to some opolko-operato. smile.

from lakemarie :

sunday, villa, 4:30-ish? appelez moi demain matin.

from mer- :

JOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! I LIKE THE WAY YOU WHIP THE CHRISTMAS DRINKS BEBE

from mer- :

ill take a password if you are offering.

from out-of-town :

if only it were possible... but if it were... i would want you to come.

from out-of-town :

i sent you an email.

from gashin :

another one truly becomes a diary and not just a place to plunk words. (: [email protected] if you're ever in the mood. non-committal.

from taxine :

my password doesnt work :(

from cadilliac :

i love you i wish i was a dictionary so badly sometimes. your compliments always feel so good, and i want to say there is no reason for you to want to hide. i love what you write.

from little-freak :

if you feel like it you could give me a password (but i won't mind if you don't want to) [email protected]

from mer- :

a 30 year old man died at area last night

from little-freak :

same maria. different tony/riff ensemble thingy. im morgan neremberg, action...he who sings krupke. im a he. tonight was a million times better. than last.

from little-freak :

don't worry it's this week tuesday nov 25th til friday nov 28th...I don't know if they're sold out, i'll find out, but you can probably just come and buy tickets if it isnt or else come to the school..sometime...and talk to ms. westlake...yes i'm in it, wednsday and thursday ( so come one of those days)

from gashin :

*laugh* now if only i could control that. it'd be my superpower. (i'm reminded of that show... you know... the one where he got the next day's newspaper early? right.) i used to stay up as a child to see 12:34.56 on my digital watch.

from dry-pavement :

i just got an email from ted irwin.

from gashin :

for me, it's good old regular 1-deal/no-timer/easy-as-pie solitaire, though i must admit that spider is quite exciting. (so are pyramid, for good brainless fun, and addiction, both at shockwave.) (: i know too much about wasting time.

from dry-pavement :

you have this obsession with numbers and what they mean. maybe you should look into it. (so many books about that kind of stuff.)

from dry-pavement :

i love the way you can talk about your job.

from lakemarie :

when are your shifts? i want to come see you in action.

from kiss--me :

you are one of the only ones who call me just to talk and i always have the hughest grin on my face when i hear your voice. i'm in need of some joanna-sylvia time.

from vingt-six :

and we were clowns together. but not even. we were great clowns together. miss you so much baby. but where have our summer ideals gone to? drop me a note. i want to hear you voice as i read the words outloud

from lakemarie :

it's going strong baby. the weather forecast up here is always on the verge of hurricane, with sun breaking through always in the nick of time. i don't even know what that means. i always just throw words together in a heep, like laundry, with a specific idea of how they should look in the end. but the load just ends up piling up. see, i just did it again. i miss you jo. i miss 162 rides and seeing your face walking towards the curb.

from cadilliac :

WHAT PLAY? I WANT TICKETS

from dry-pavement :

so run coolbrook, and sceam my name. maybe my bro will come out, and you can chill. or even better, maybe dolores will come out, and you can play boggle. 'member st.sauver, right after ali's grand pop's funeral.?

from motivate-me1 :

you are

from mer- :

i love when you say her name

from silhouette-s :

hey jo. it's tal. i found you on d-land and added you to my buddylist. i love your freckles. i love your smile. it's contagious. :)

from lakemarie :

(it's funny using these notes for practical reasons)

from lakemarie :

if you are free tonight jo, I believe there is something going on in honour of arnab<s seventeenth. give me call if you are free. good luck with the essay my dear.

from kiss--me :

so are we going to be at one with nature this weekend? theres space pour toi. ill be at dawson tomorrow (thrus at 11:30ish) if not call. xox

from little-freak :

I think it's ironic that the entire cello section of Dragan's orchestra that year ended up at Royal West in some way or another

from on-the-roof :

i did the walk in to au premier and the appointment making too. ech.

from lakemarie :

hmm. so first there's jo. now there's joannie. hmm. i feel like he dreams about you guys, and then when he wakes up, he knows there's a girl named jo, but can't quite put his finger on it.so he's just stumbling around in the mean time.

from dry-pavement :

i just finished hearing about her.

from dry-pavement :

that sounds like yum.

from lakemarie :

it's just not us. sigh. trial and error. loved seeing you two days in a row.

from dry-pavement :

i miss you .

from kiss--me :

yes. yes we should. ill be there tomorrow to kill some time between 11:30 and 12:30. too bad we didnt talk more saturday night. one day we'll have a say to ourselves. xox

from dry-pavement :

i. have no words. at this point. because. these feelings don't. translate into. (words)...but soon. they will. thank you for being with him.

from dry-pavement :

ghetto superstar, that is what you are...remember?

from kiss--me :

i dont know if youll get this in time...lunch demain?(thrus)call my cell

from dry-pavement :

it's gonna work. with places like this one.

from mer- :

i love you to death girl. thank god youve always been in my life. so refreshing, you.

from lakemarie :

marianopolis waterfountains and familiar faces. killer hill (hair blowing in the wind!). killer walk. nice to see you!

from dry-pavement :

the irony is that in a few days--post kamp...the same people who sent you home will be doing the same thing...no regrets though...because it was the summer of our lives. (in so many beautiful ways)

from dry-pavement :

a huge ROUMPF! good to have you back.

from lluf :

where have you been? why aren't you in deuxieme cup waiting for me? i have a stick i found in villa to give you.

from dry-pavement :

oh shit. and here it comes. oh shit. and now it's time. can't deal. no goodbyes. -d

from gashin :

jo, i hope the same for you. i hope you are moving towards something instead of just Remaining (you deserve it). it was very nice to see you, even though, like everything, it was fleeting.

from kiss--me :

on sunday, i want to drive you up baby

from kiss--me :

i want you to sit on my lap again

from dry-pavement :

one burgundy adidas bag to go please.

from mer- :

nah man, you look mad tough

from dry-pavement :

i know i'm here. and you're still at kamp. and that it's only been a couple of days since i've seen you. but i'm still writing because i know you'll check. and that you'll want a note when you get back. and that hopefully it will make you smile. because our paths never cross. and we trully need to make a date and talk.

from kiss--me :

i drove past you on monkland tonight and you looked beautiful sitting on the curb in red (i hope that was you!) im sorry i didnt stop. i will next time

from dry-pavement :

i've never seen so many stars. i've never seen so many stars in people's eyes.

from mer- :

then dont do child studies! weve all been waiting too long to chose what we are doing and to want to do what we are doing. dont enter a forced situation when its the time to repel that sort of thing.

from lakemarie :

missed you on Friday Night.

from mer- :

youve always had social skills. you make it hard for anyone not to love you and warm up to you, no matter how much your honesty could throw people off at times. but joe. life wouldve been a lot different about the drugs. ive watched the transition of my life in journal wirting, video and in photographs of "this is you on drugs" and it wasnt pretty. i quit. for those reasons. the changes it brought were not worth it. i wasted a lot of time, and im not one to admit that.

from lakemarie :

i was tired last night, and wanted Bed, but when i walked in and saw you guys sitting around the Dinner Table...it felt right-as-usual.and hell, Bernie came. don't worry about the split up, i like it how the nights are flexible according to everyone's rythms and wants. we need another day.

from cadilliac :

what does it mean the colour of our rope? the cliche?

from dry-pavement :

how did this happen? HOW? time warp...where did the scraped knees, sports bras go? and...it's all too much.

from dry-pavement :

i'll miss more than just the locker. all i know for sure is that i won't be able to let you go when i hug you at camp and leave for the desert.

from taxine :

i think sarah regrets not paying for grad. she was a bit distracted when we were supposed to hand in our money and stuff - now i think shes using that excuse to make it easier on herself. (or maybe its just me)

from motivate-me1 :

u kno everyday people are judged and ur right, this is the one place i feel comfortable being me. If someone doesn't agree with my rage, that's ok. A lesson well learned.

from motivate-me1 :

thanks :) ur suggestions helped as well. SLA does sound like fun and maybe this wasn't for me. I apologize for my diary yesterday it was emotions that hadn't been thought over. It was unfair rage.

from dry-pavement :

i'd call you, but it might be too late. the call came. you're the first i thought of. how does new mexico sound?

from lakemarie :

closeness is better than distance,not all of the time, but yes when it comes to you. missing.

from cadilliac :

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO FRIDAY RECESS AND KISSES ON THE FOREHEAD?

from dry-pavement :

i'm not sure what to say, other then call me, we'll talk, things will seem less bumpy and you'll feel beautiful that way.

from xanda-k :

don't you feel lost after not having been on, not having read, not having been around? i generally do. true colours are important things. i'll miss seeing you after highschool, jo.

from dry-pavement :

i hate my true colours.

from glowbug555 :

p.s. i was glad to help.

from glowbug555 :

true colors is very true me dear. keep bringing us your amazing smile jo. this house adores you.

from xanda-k :

it's okay :) we're all allowed. i've read worse things wrong... far far worse. example? i don't know. i'm unawake

from xanda-k :

ooooh. see journal, but... matt's girlfriend is cara. cara hangs out with ross on a constant basis. ross is a guy. therefore cara = ross' fag-hag. *nods* it makes sense for once!

from xanda-k :

what!? ross a girl!?!?

from walk-away :

...i'll be very honest, i had no idea ross was a girl!!

from xanda-k :

yeah, it is matt perron :) his girlfriend is ross' fag-hag, no matter how supposedly demeaning that term is. and i'll just say this: i was impressed with the play. i'm sure you'll enjoy it.

from dry-pavement :

add a "y" and you get the boy...you got him on grad night. smile.

from dry-pavement :

i wish coolbrook came after marcil.

from xanda-k :

that it is (a tams day). my people are going up to mount royal later. i may or may not join, 'cause i'm going out with ross (i still have his cell phone after two weeks, and he does need it).

from xanda-k :

congrats, jo :) and i wish i had seen you in othello. i'm sure you were wonderful-- you were already great in cabaret.

from lakemarie :

YES!!!!!!!

from lakemarie :

that swept me off my feet because of the fact that that is how i feel about you- because the ending was the only thing i wasn't sure of last night which was so wrong because YOU were what i WAS sure of last night. i appreciate you dealing with my shift from outputter to observer as soon as we entered that door. i don't know why i am that way. i loved being around you and the boys because you looked so at eaze and glowed and damn that was good sitting at the table with jesse being drunk because you were the sure one and that boy was transitionning. i only left because i felt it in my gut that the way the boys see me is just off enough to set me off. sorry for that. but i am glad jesse was in your car, i'm glad you were on stage, i'm glad you wore the skirt,and i'm glad we walked and talked. till tonight beautiful jo.

from mer- :

you have no idea how much i care about you. you are a superbly strong and admirable human being, and after a decade of friendship, my ideals of you have not been bruised. i love you.

from lakemarie :

we are roomates from now until friday. and i hope it lasts.

from dry-pavement :

add a "y" and you get the boy.

from lakemarie :

fellow emilia, if you are interested in doing lines- and character talk- over coffee, give me a call.

from dry-pavement :

love.

from lakemarie :

i love that song.

from dry-pavement :

joanna bateman, it wouldn't be an invasion if you were there. they talk about germany a lot...they hold no judgement ever. like nothing i've ever been a part of. i spent every single night with them this weekend. and i'd like you there.

from dry-pavement :

it has me excited about grad night too.

from xanda-k :

i wish i had the capability to joke about ms. brown. instead, i just... can't. lol. i'm so out of it.

from dry-pavement :

i just want you to know that i wanted to write you something. that i thought of.

from mer- :

yes, if you promise to try and not judge any of it. you know how different it is when you are writing for yourself.

from mer- :

dont do coke. its not really a high. it makes you productive. clear-headed sometime. people are always like, when is it going to hit me? my boyfriend has a lot of experience with coke and i was with him when he did it recently. his face got numb, yes. but its not the trip you are looking for. not that i want you to really trip out, but its cokes not worth it. x?

from mer- :

your call not mine. trust me.

from cadilliac :

and seeing you today was like love. like really good love beside my locker.

from lakemarie :

the image of katie crying is engraved in my head forever. i think that was a turning point for our grade, just witnessing that. it's when we became them. or something like that.

from mer- :

i so agree. there is sex in the air.

from lakemarie :

i like your pink bandana.

from dry-pavement :

"baby, baby, where did our love go..." you have to admit, the phone call was good.

from cadilliac :

i was not talking about you at all. whenever i picture you thinking im mad at you, it makes me squirm. please, dont do it again. you are a constant source of light.

from xanda-k :

indeed. but... global. no bristol board. i just realized that i never got my lazy ass out of this house all day (well, not true... i picked up bread in the morning, but i'm rambling) to do that. fuck fuck fuck. well, i'll be creative, and make something visual... now, this really should be interesting. note: "interesting".

from lakemarie :

diaryland makes you forget the pleasure of emails.thanks.two minds are better than one.

from xanda-k :

lol, god that note was long.

from xanda-k :

jo, your venting makes perfect sense. people are idiots in general- the stereotypical shit, and people's views of how a straight girl is supposed to look, or react to anything lesbian of the sort is kind of childish. i, being not straight and all, have gone through a lot of trouble convincing people that i'm NOT straight. people just don't believe me. yes, i play rugby, but other than that, i'm not at all stereotypical. i don't think anyone could feel at all attacked by your entry. you're soooo right. people shouldn't judge on a basis of appearances, or what we enjoy doing. hell, sexuality shouldn't matter at all. i think we're all bi, to some extent. lol. anyways, a good guy will appreciate you for who you are, and not judge based on your *gasp* short hair, and ...your athleticism. anyone who does that isn't deserving of you. and that's my two cents. :)

from lakemarie :

you know that deja-vu we spoke of- i just remembered that conversation.and it's not cute...i distincly remember it being hurtful. anyways, i hope you have a good night joanna.

from on-the-roof :

if you're scared, reconsider.

from dry-pavement :

you do it to me every time...you make me want to hug you, and you no i ain't so good with hugs.

from xanda-k :

'kay, your email's always full, so hopefully you'll check this... you are doing the list of sanctions. i'm doing the "before" and the why, i guess, and al's doing the after (right?) hmmm... if you can print shit out, that'd be great. i THINK i have a bristol board, but i'm not certain. *goes to check* uhhh... don't see it. *checks in another place* no. damn. what happened to muyy uuuggly ugly white bristol boards!? anyways... i guess still print out stuff, and we'll hold papers up... call me if you have problems. lol.

from dry-pavement :

i want grade eight girls to look at me like the pretty one too. your words were too good jo, too fucking good...roumph.

from cadilliac :

oh jesus that was a damn good one. 10:07 pm

from lakemarie :

CHEERS.thank god you were there.or i think i would have hid behind the curtains.oh my.lets do it.oh honest iago.

from dry-pavement :

let's let the worlds collide. meet, we shall.

from mer- :

hell yeah. mark it. march 16 dont seem so bad.

from dry-pavement :

roumph. and the in betweens. and the shit life throws in your face. and the knowing of you. the tears=the release. the love=you. roumph.

from xanda-k :

i like what you write as well, joe. you're a good person, and that's reflected within your words- listen to what ruth said. have confidence! easier said than done. i know. heh

from cadilliac :

listen. i know what its like to think how you think. i am no 90s student in english yet i want to be a journalist. you.. drama.. theater. different frames of mind. you are an actress. its who you are. and just because you cant wrap yourself around what blonde teaches you doesn't mean you can't preform.. you are one of the best.

from vingt-six :

of course you fucked yourself over with procrastination. at this point it's an art and every one of us are masters. it's hard though sometimes. you know that you're going to put everything off, you see it coming but...it doesn't mean you want to. always.

from mer- :

of course you can. the web keeps spinning between the people i love to see tangled together.

from on-the-roof :

i read your latest at 6:13 AM. i've been up for 23 minutes. -katie

from nobull420 :

we know eachother now

from taxine :

do you realise that the last 4 entries in a row mention jesse in the subject or body? im sitting in a grade 9 tech class right now and it's making me want to be little and innocent again

from taxine :

joanna, where have you gone?

from crazydiam0nd :

sense. beauty.

from cadilliac :

you write so good.

from on-the-roof :

it took me ten minutes to read your long entry. on a sunday night, where i've been on the verge of crying for an hour, where i've had to hold myself back from calling the girl that you and i love, where the pile of work is immense, and the time is only getting later - peace has been received from jo. without an e.

from mer- :

when i was in the closet covered in writing and messages with 3 girls and a passing joint i tried to explain to them why the closet wasnt really dirty it was just "decorated". and i said the walls are just history, everything in here is. so its funny that you should say what you said..

from on-the-roof :

you say wood. i say marcil.

from mer- :

oh my space space space god.

from cadilliac :

i really really like you. and i liked today. but, i also like you.

from mer- :

yes ive noticed that lately too. with male maturity comes the ego trip. its a discraceful preference. insecure boy vs egocentric male? (i just realised. i leave you a lot of notes).

from mer- :

yes, i noticed the particularly good vibes painter was giving last nigt aswell.

from taxine :

ifonly. i could come to new york. dancedance and dance. on the sidewalk when do you return?

from taxine :

got. the. boot. seeyousoon. im going up north until monday. then we will wreak havoc you and i

from mer- :

i did it. i cant believe it, but i did. i went to kamp. another damn postponing to see you.

from mer- :

update more. please.

from put-it-off :

joe..come over..please. you might not understand this but i need you. something about you is so great and it makes me feel better.

from taxine :

joanna. send me mail. i love you. leah williams kamp kanawana st sauveur des monts, quebec jor 1r1

from levoh :

joe, i didnt consider our dollar store talk an argument really. im sorry if it came off that way. i agree with what you are saying about intelligent conversation a lot and if anything, our talk was compelling enough to keep us both..engaged and interested. we should talk about real things more often. you are leaving in two days. i hope you allow some room for anticipation, instead of stress. smoking a rigs by yourself is an unbeatable meditation. house beats. front balcony. benson. inhale. center.

from dsdiary :

hi. i'm the third person to leave one of these. dsdiary.diaryland.com/stooooore.html. read that one, if you haven't yet. so, hi.

from taxine :

i am here. here. me. youre not. i just got home and its ten pm. oopsies. school tomorrow. two days. the sky breaks free of the clouds. its all so perfect.

from taxine :

i am here. here. me. youre not. i just got home and its ten pm. oopsies. school tomorrow. two days. the sky breaks free of the clouds. its all so perfect.

from taxine :

which one?

from foolishlove :

i love you and want you to be here on this, the seventeeth of may. you+me+rachel+allie=team. together. we. break. free.

from foolishlove :

it may not be much, but i have some shake and one zig zag. as you are reading this i am rolling us a joint. it won't get us high, but it will taste good.

from foolishlove :

i. love. this. i won't read if you don't want me to. like stick a little note at the top of an entry if you don't want me to read.

from cadilliac :

i found you joanna

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