DiaryLand members area

comments: "The downstairs bathroom is one of those very tiny ones that only has a toilet directly across from the sink, so youre forced to look at yourself in the mirror while you pee. if you can think of the proper expression to use while peeing, do tell.

eibisch profile - diary

comments: "And [*gasp*] the movie is bloody and violent and yadda yadda.People! It is NOT a Calgon commercial -it's a Crucifixion!"

peytonsplace profile - diary

comments: "Seriously. I am GASSY. If you held a blow torch up to my ass I would be HiroShima."

girle profile - diary

comments: A Tori and Twilight Singer fan?!?! I've died and gone to heaven!

betabitch profile - diary

comments: "We figured since we were traveling through the languages, and since it was April, we'd go visit the pope for Easter. Why the fuck not? We ARE his children and all. "

genghis-jon profile - diary

comments: "Fucking asshole, i hope everybody who works for that shitty company gets the runs and dies."

sundry profile - diary

comments: "Most classy social engagements include at least a mention of fisting. Why, it's practically a requirement."

sturge profile - diary

comments: "Then, the title screen of Sports Disasters popped up. I'm sorry television, I will never doubt you again."

kristintracy profile - diary

comments: "You don�t think using a Mr. Clean-soaked sponge on your skin is really bad, do you?"

idiot-milk profile - diary

comments: "I think, should I ever become a serial killer, I will go after sweet little old ladies. Oh, and those assholes who say "happy camper." Those motherfuckers are at the top of my list."

thedailywtf profile - diary

comments: " It affects my tip in no way since I tip 15% unless you barf in my lap, show your tit to my husband, piss on my son's head or fart uncontrollably while telling me the daily specials."

warcrygirl profile - diary

comments: "My first thought was "OMG, is she touching the merchandise?" Because this is important. I want to be sure that when I pick up that can of garden peas that I'm not touching another woman's crotch crickets by proxy."

ikss profile - diary

comments: She's got the 411 on what makes the world go round. It's a good thing.

trancejen profile - diary

comments: "I have the female equivalent of blue balls (blue clit?), and damned if I'm not about to call up every poor schmuck I ever shot down in high school and beyond when I was Not Ready and say, "I NOW KNOW YOUR PAIN.""

biensoul profile - diary

comments: Baby Shower Drinking Game: "No more will talk of onesies and diaper genies bring you down when you can vomit on the pure white bassinet!"

tvzero profile - diary

comments: "Man, barely thirty and I�m already crotchety. Just you wait, in about ten years, I�m gonna be on the front porch of some rickety old shack with my bloodhound called �cooter� and I�ll glare at the children walking by."

blulinepaper profile - diary

comments: "THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING RECORD BUTTON ON THE NEW DVCAM DECK DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MASTER TO A TAPE WHEN THE FUCKING RECORD BUTTON DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!"

madamepierce profile - diary

comments: "The conversation about ass-wiping stemmed from a different conversation about whether a person�s balls were cleaner than their asshole, to which I yelled a resounding YES, because hello, whoever caught E. coli from licking someone's balls?&

ChicagoJo profile - diary

comments: "Nothing says, �I think you�re great,� like a little drool on the face."

bethany9 profile - diary

comments: "Damn Mother Nature, that egg sucking whore. She did this to me last year around this time. One day it's 84. The next day it's 42. Make up your mind, ya cock tease!"

Joecartoon profile - diary

comments: "It should be pointed out here that I am highly in favor of legal euthanasia of everyone over the age of 70."

juddhole profile - diary

comments: "she really didn't care about the ring, and told me later she would've married me if I'd had a ring made out of belly-button lint, and that she was crying because she was so happy. Damn, I could've saved some cash."

ubergrrl profile - diary

comments: "What is it with gay men and Cher?? Is it because she looks like a man.. so they are gay-ishly attracted to her/him?? Or perhaps Cher is an attainable goal for trannies.. "

bingoguy profile - diary

comments: "I wish I could have all of you cause you just make me so damn tingly inside I can barely stop from touching myself when I read your entries."

chaostraffic profile - diary

comments: "I'm neither Catholic, nor fair-skinned, so I figure they cancel each other out and we can move on to more important topics like... does my butt look big in these pants?"

imaphatpig profile - diary

comments: "It's amazing the feeling of power you get when you can take a shit so big that you clog your own toilet. Wow. Seriously. "

hotcarl profile - diary

comments: Because he forces me to think EVERY DAMN DAY.

plopphizz profile - diary

comments: "Good rule of thumb regarding family member's groins and clothing directly in contact with said groins: spend as little time as possible with both of those things."

savecraig profile - diary

comments: He's back and better than ever.

My favorite music:

My favorite movies:

Clue

Silence of the Lambs

The Passion of the Christ