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comments: I cleaned my room. As Shana said, "Wow! I didn't even know you had that little rug!" I have a small woven rug in front of my bed. Clearly, it was covered in crap.

boynurse profile - diary

comments: I thought that, as an adult, I'd already viewed my parents as mere humans, but I hadn't. Before, I thought they could do no wrong, at least not marriage-wise. Now I know what "human" means and I really fucking wish I didn't.

Cruel-irony profile - diary

comments: I think I look like an FBI agent. Well, not really, but maybe, just maybe, I look a little dangerous. Or maybe I just look, well, little. Why split hairs?

dancingbrave profile - diary

comments: Wait. Is it wrong that I want to see David Blaine cry?

dichroic profile - diary

comments: How sad is it that my life's theme could be a song by Avril Lavigne?

Hodgson profile - diary

comments: Lord, mighty Jesus, merciful, big, giant, colossal God of all the heavens and earth, please , PLEASE let me have sex with this one lesbian. I'll never ask again.

i-girl profile - diary

comments: Satan strikes me as the guy you�d really want to be friends with, plus I bet he�s hot. I mean, he�s Satan, so he�d kind of have to be a fox. Besides, everyone knows the bad boys are always cuter. But I digress.

ladeeleroy profile - diary

comments: (You're the sicko here. Not me. Unless you didn't think that that last sentence was about eating defecation at all, in which case I am the sicko. Anyway. Continue reading.)

Minniepearl profile - diary

comments: Well this can't speak well for my mental state can it?

moresarah profile - diary

comments: Gads. I'm a dolt. And a slug. A doltish slug, or a sluggish dolt? Either way, that's me.

misterzero profile - diary

comments: Oh, wait a minute, no� I actually jumped out of my seat, knocked my leg on the file cabinet and nearly tipped over the chair while I ran around to the other side of my boss, shrieking, �MOUSE! I found the mouse!� much to the delight of my co-workers.

mitzi-j profile - diary

comments: Oh, and there�s a cute new rabbi. I asked Mom to investigate. By asking her, I have admitted that I�m on crack. Oy vey.

rising profile - diary

comments: Where I was promptly assaulted by a colony of ants. Okay, they didn�t actually assault me, but they were certainly attacking the cat food bits the cats had tossed out of their bowl.

sarahjanet profile - diary

comments: Sure, that sounds terribly arrogant, and it is, really. But given how rare it is for me to acknowledge being good at ANYTHING, I think I'll take my feeling of satisfaction with myself for a nice change of pace. I feel like I could take on the world.

Sirilyan profile - diary

comments: How has this city not been sold to the gypsies?

skibigsky profile - diary

comments: Anyway, I must have gotten a cat hair in my eye or I�m allergic to something ,or I�m turning into some bad Doctor Who alien, but I woke up this morning, with one eye completely bloodshot.

Splorch profile - diary

comments: "Enough. WHY is it, to tape a STUPID SIMPLE SHOW on the STUPID SIMPLE VCR, I have to shove a remote up my ass, turn around three times on a lit match, and sing KUMBAYFUCKINGYA in MIDDLE ENGLISH in order to do anything these days?"

drunkyfunky profile - diary

comments: Heather gets the award for Funkiest of the evening, because one else, fortunately for them, came remotely close to throwing up in his or her own hand and then continuing to drink for another three hours.

unchbunch profile - diary

comments: I read somewhere women are more likely to cheat on their partners at some certain point in their menstrual cycle... If only I'd tracked that data when I was working with her.

morganzola profile - diary

comments: He just looked up at me and asked if I�d ever taken Communion. �I�d like a big old bag of Host right now. Sitting on the sofa. Watching basketball. Eating God,� he announced. Needless to say, we�re all a little punchy.

annarain profile - diary

comments: I have really long eyelashes. Sometimes I complain that I can�t wear sunglasses because they touch the lenses, but that�s really just a sneaky way of bragging.

tabbynormal profile - diary

comments: He says mama, dad-dee, cat, no, stop, and cookie. Actually, we�re not sure about the last one; sometimes it seems as if it could be okay, and Shazzer suggested it might be cocaine.

cabbie profile - diary

comments: I got the package open, but I also punctured one of the Coke cans. So here I am in my room, with a fizzing Coke can going everywhere, and I have to shotgun it. Cuz God knows, I'm not wasting my well-earned Coca-Cola product.

porktornado profile - diary

comments: So I had a dream that I had chocolate in my scrote. If that doesn�t qualify me for a government-funded study, nothing will.

quoted profile - diary

comments: The best of the best. Sound bites, as it were.

Marn profile - diary

comments: Somehow I also had it in my head I would have this path to myself, what with it being early in the morning and all. Little did I know that I would be playing a rousing game of Smush The Jogger with The Stealth Cyclists From Hell.

lizardspace profile - diary

comments: I�m tired of trying to find clothes that sufficiently cover my astonishingly large ass. I don�t mind the big belly, but my ass was big enough before. I don�t need it appended.

trinity63 profile - diary

comments: And all of you who think I am horrible because I wish I had a bowl to smoke � blow it out your ear. Wishing and doing are two different things.

smartypants profile - diary

comments: Also, I still believe that TiVo needs that irony button.

tittlemouse profile - diary

comments: T875trtr4 f3ejn mhuuh mlo,ikmkmyttrtfvgftv;lp.gvffhujhynjhunnb hc vvhnj umbgvfdftvgrby7ik9u6t5r4t6y7u I typed that with my head. Aren�t you proud of me?

Weetabix profile - diary

comments: It�s all the fault of Diet Coke (as is so many things, like fat thighs and inflation and those annoying pill things you get on acrylic sweaters and also the fact that you can�t make peanut brittle in the summer� yup, Diet Coke).

shannonk profile - diary

comments: I�d like my shoulders to stop doing that weird rounding-forward thing that they do. I�d like to stop looking like a schlump. I�d like to learn whether �schlump� is, in fact, a word.

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last updated: 2004-04-18 14:23:08
this user's total entries: 98
user since: 2001-09-20

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