messages to kayemess:
(click here to add new message):

from dearedwin :
Hope all is well with you and yours!
from theshivers :
Thank you xoxo
from emeraldtiger :
Sorry to hear about the MIL who watches Fox at your house. Ugh. And sorry to hear about your mother's partner is a Trump fan. I am still so disoriented by the election outcome.
from emeraldtiger :
Sorry to hear about the MIL who watches Fox at your house. Ugh. And sorry to hear about your mother's partner is a Trump fan. I am still so disoriented by the election outcome.
from dangerspouse :
Yes, it's inevitable. Sorry. Genes are destiny. Start apologizing to your daughter now. Maybe get her that pony while she still loves you.
from dangerspouse :
Jury duty? JURY DUTY?? Oh honey, we have to talk....
from theshivers :
I keep telling myself the portrait will be Clinton's. Please, dear everything that is sacred, let it be Clinton's. Anyway, I hope you get to live that portrait moment (under Obama or Clinton) soon.
from theshivers :
Thank you! I appreciate that :)
from mavenhaven :
I just caught up on the last couple and I am really enjoying picturing your house, imagining your sportschild, and remembering how excellent it was to experience all of you in person. Come to Mpls with your extra money. XOXO
from dearedwin :
Feeling your entry. Sorry for not getting back sooner, but if you want a password, please go ahead and choose one and mail it to lovedayes[AT]gmail.com. Have a lovely weekend!
from theshivers :
That might be good at some point, thank you. I don't know what point we're at right now. I feel as though there's a legion of growing up that needs to happen and I'm tired of trying to force it.
from theshivers :
Geez, I feel like this is my shopping experience with C - except that he buys his shirts at Target or vintage ones online. But he wears them to death. And it's always the same two pairs of jeans (Levi's), the same two pairs of shoes (black dress or Converse) and the same two hoodies. I really wish someone would leave a nice coat for him at our house.
from dangerspouse :
Lol. If your biggest gripe with hubby is that he's not a clothes horse, yours is a very happy (if aesthetically dull) marriage indeed.
from theshivers :
Yes to moral support! Let's do this :)
from jimbostaxi :
Please add me on your list if you lock up thanks :0)
from dangerspouse :
Harvey Korman ROCKS. Still one of the best comedy line delivery guys ever. Your kid has good taste. (But the 70's Wonder Woman? Your kid has TERRIBLE taste. Except in boobs. Good luck with that.)
from theshivers :
Diaryland neglected to inform me of your lovely note--thank you for the well-wishes! We are both excited and terrified to plunge into the world of home ownership again. Mostly excited though :)
from ceildah :
Ps can totally relate to your London post. We went to San Fran for a week in May and I've wanted to go there forever. Each day we would stand on the platform in Oakland and our 5 yr old would stamp and say 'I don't WANT to go to SAN FRANCISCO'. Killed me.
from ceildah :
I thought fondly of you today when I left an open home viewing of an ugly 90s home that is identical to the other 9 houses next to it... that we might put an offer in on because it's ALL we can afford in this heated buyers market, and we got to get on with our lives.Grasping at any sign or signal that this is THE RIGHT non-stupid thing to do. Thanks for being one of those and thanks for sharing !
from myra-lee :
Like maven, I too set my mind (or muscle memory, really) to work and managed to remember my D-Land password and would very much like to be invited to the lock-in. Hi!
from emeraldtiger :
I'd like to keep reading if and when you do lock up and I'm thinking about doing the same. I still come by, though and it's nice to come to this quiet corner and though rare now, still occasionally find a name on my buddy list lit up in red. I hope you're doing well!
from stepfordtart :
You're only an hour from me. Shall I come up and take your kid out for a coupla hours so you can read/write/visit/eat strange food? PW would be good please :-) xx
from theshivers :
Please add me to the list of those who want to stay up-to-date on your life. I don't post very often either but I do love my D-land world.
from mavenhaven :
I can't believe I remembered my pw long enough to get in here and write you a note, but you know I want the pw to read your blahg.
from dangerspouse :
I'd very much appreciate the password also. I adore your writing style.
from dearedwin :
I’ll take a password! (Please and thanks!)
from dearedwin :
Post-visit, we are seriously gearing up for relocation. You were so insightful before, I hope we can chat over e-mail or whatever regarding relocation logistics. Because you have time, I know! Just wanted to get an idea about cost of moving house out of state, more about living in the area with a small child, schools... Alternatively, if you have any helpful online resources for such a thing, I�d take those too.
from dangerspouse :
Well, your hardest month is over. You either haven't updated because you succumbed to it and we missed your funeral (sorry), or you've over slept. Or...September's WORSE, and you can't even bring yourself to update til relatively sane October rolls around?! God, your life IS a mess.
from emeraldtiger :
Interesting take on August. I personally find late summer/early fall to be tough sometimes, for various reasons.
from dearedwin :
Oh, how I feel your late-summer misery, especially: August is my terrible summer wardrobe that never flatters. I don�t even wear skirts�in Southern California. Or shorts. Maybe a super-long maxi dress on occasion. Cruel summer, indeed. At least autumn will arrive in Seattle. It probably won�t here!
from dangerspouse :
AAAUGH! "Naked and Afraid"!! I thought the same thing as you when I saw it promo'd. Is there NOTHING too stupid to get its own reality show now? I just spent an entire month watching network tv against my will, and I'm very depressed. What the hell is wrong with us??
from dearedwin :
Thank you so much for taking the time to give such a wonderful rundown. I hope we get to do some of those things�particularly the library and ferry. The kid seems taken aback by the rain, but that�s coming off a week of heatwave. I love how centrally located the opera, PNB, and the theater are. It was such a nice thing seeing everyone go out to take in some culture last night. This is too short of a trip!
from dearedwin :
Thank you for your last post! Tomorrow morning we�re heading to Seattle for a four-day trip with A. (5.5 now). We�re staying in the city, very near PNB. Being that it�s a super short trip we�ll be indulging in the obvious city-centric things, but if there�s anything else you love that�s walkable or easily accessible via public transport, please let me know. Thanks!
from ceildah :
Kitchen sounds a dream and the antithesis of cheap 90 s. Sorry about dentist. I have a remarkably similar dental history. I spent a lot of money having everything sorted a four years ago. Ouch
from ceildah :
Oh I would love to know about J's blog : please let me know it somehow, I'm not sure how to msg you privately here :) so could you email me at [email protected] thanks!
from ceildah :
Is oh-sweet-pea blogging somewhere these days. I miss her writing!
from ceildah :
I just read your post-writing retreat entry. It made my heart swell a little bit. I too feel like its all over sometimes, but I have this nagging feeling that I haven't get done what I'm meant to do, so I just have to keep trying, risking and putting myself out there. Also I'm trying to get my drivers license at 36! I never used to care less, but now it feels like something very important, perhaps that's moving to Auckland for you... Anyway, thanks, and get that manuscript out there
from ceildah :
It's been an age since I've been here but so lovely and relieving that you're still here writing your excellent honest pertinent words. Inspired, might start again.
from stepfordtart :
From where Im looking right now, it seems ideal. s x
from stepfordtart :
Could she join a club of some sort? She gets to socialise, you get your own time - Win/Win? You dont need to join in, I used to wave Treacle off from the other side of the sports centre when she was having tennis lessons and Jooj's diving lessons gave me a WHOLE HOUR in the jacuzzi! Hell, with Girl Guides they even took em away overnight! Woooop!Woooop! s x
from theshivers :
Ugh, that's annoying (re: job interview). Upside I guess is (barring any really good excuse for flaking) that you now know what kind of company they are.
from emeraldtiger :
ahh, you have a "toxic" co-worker. sorry to hear that. it sounds like your colleague is clearly unhappy, and that can be contagious. what she said about you as a parent wasn't about you--it all stems from within, whatever her issues may be. quite honestly, it sounds like maybe she needs counseling or at least some other outlet through which to vent or resolve her unhappiness.
from theshivers :
I hate it when someone tosses off a such a judgeypants sounding comment. Take heart knowing it's her not you--not that it makes it hurt any less--she sounds unhappy and she's transferring that misery to you. Or trying to anyway.
from dearedwin :
3/24/2013: the post that gives me hope
from emeraldtiger :
A couple of things: 1) a (belated) congrats on homeownership. 2) 5 is an awesome age--enjoy it! 3) you've read "Caring For your Introvert", right? I used to work in a job where I had to be "on" all day and make small-talk with my students (I was a career counselor at a university).... and by the end of the day, I had to re-charge my batteries very badly. And I'm actually only a slight to moderate introvert, although people perceive me as much more introverted than I actually am b/c I am the quiet observer in a lot of situations. I do think, however, that that job tipped me deeper into introversion, so now I come out as a clear moderate introvert (on the Keirsey/MBTI). This might sound crazy, but sometimes, at that old job, I used to go sneak out to eat lunch in my car and people-watch. Hope 2013 has been good so far. ps, I love it that you still update here! There are still a few of us, some with entries few and far between, but I think it's kind of nice that way, a private corner of the web unlike most other blog platforms. :-)
from stepfordtart :
I dont think you went too far. A hater is a hater and, if theyre putting that information out there in the public domain, then they cant complain if people see it. Yay you! s x
from emeraldtiger :
Good luck w/ the move! Also, good luck w/ the wisdom tooth extraction! I wanted to let you know I loved Portland. My time there was way too short since it was a "business" trip and I was mainly at the meeting I went there for...and I had quite an adventure getting there thanks to airline delays, etc. BUT, like you recommended, I did take the MAX from the airport straight into downtown (also back to PDX when I left) and it was easy-peasy and convenient. And what I did see of Portland, I really liked. I love the Pacific NW in general, and I definitely would like to go back there as a tourist to really explore the city. The only other time I was there was driving through en route from Calif to Seattle after stopping in Eugene.
from emeraldtiger :
Good luck w/ the move! Also, good luck w/ the wisdom tooth extraction! I wanted to let you know I loved Portland. My time there was way too short since it was a "business" trip and I was mainly at the meeting I went there for...and I had quite an adventure getting there thanks to airline delays, etc. BUT, like you recommended, I did take the MAX from the airport straight into downtown (also back to PDX when I left) and it was easy-peasy and convenient. And what I did see of Portland, I really liked. I love the Pacific NW in general, and I definitely would like to go back there as a tourist to really explore the city. The only other time I was there was driving through en route from Calif to Seattle after stopping in Eugene.
from dangerspouse :
Is that...is that the same coconut oil I cook with?? If so, no wonder my dishes are wrinkle free!
from stepfordtart :
Yeh maybe, but we're all entitled to a little gloom now and then! It makes all the times we pretend its not like that seem all the sweeter! I, too, have cosmetic guilt, regardless of the fact I spend fuck-all on cosmetics! Especially compared to my 'past life' (with Husb #1) where I would happily sit on one of those quasi barstools at the Estee Lauder counter and let those white coated bitches fleece me to the tune of ��������s every six weeks or so! Now Im flicking through the Avon catalogue and ONLY looking at the nail polishes that are on special, thank you VERY much! s x
from mavenhaven :
omgahhhh, I rewatched Gavin and Stacey recently too and I find it a little embarrassing how charmed and emotional I am about it.
from stepfordtart :
Gavin and Stacey FTW!!!! s x
from emeraldtiger :
I can't believe I still come here after 9 years (10 later this year). I really wasn't sure what I was getting into at the time, but I stayed, which is crazy. I do sometimes think about if I want to go over to blogger or wordpress but then the thought overwhelms me--though I dabbed in blogger there are things about it I don't like. Diaryland surves a unique niche and purpose at least for me, and my blogging/writing style. I will never be a star blogger who goes to BlogHer conferences and co-mingles with Dooce or Sundry or Orangette or other "famous" bloggers. Diaryland is nice for its quietness and its (at least semi- or pseudo-)anonymity. Once in a while, I do miss having a buddy list lit up in red, though. Oddly enough, there are people from my "buddy list" here that I've either met and/or am still loosely in touch with (meaning FB and/or e-mail) even though they've long abandoned the tumbleweeds that have overgrown their diaries here. Many have fled to the other newer blog sites where I still read and leave comments. And they're scattered all over. One in Boston, three in Seattle (there's a fourth one I met there many years ago but he stopped writing early on), one in Vancouver, and one in the UK). And other than one person here who is actually a classmate from where we did undergrad college (though we didn't really know each other as students), all others were faceless and nameless (except by pen name) until I met them or was able to put names and faces together outside of the diary. And it just confirmed to me that if I thought they were cool or awesome in their writing, they were even cooler in their off-diary contexts. I was talking to a local IRL friend of mine about blogging in general, and while I didn't reveal to her where I blogged, I did say I had been a blogger for 10 years. I had never thought of myself as a pioneer but saying "10 years" made me suddenly feel old, but also, kind of like a pioneer, blogging when not everyone had a blog!
from emeraldtiger :
Hang in there. It *has* to be the March blahs, right? My situation is obviously very different from yours but I'm having a super tough time on the work front as well because there's too much change at once, including a bunch of red flags that make me want to get out of there. When too many people don't feel valued, or are, literally, financially undervalued, that's a red flag, isn't it? And one person's impending departure in particular is really affecting me (my boss/mentor who has also become a friend), and it's making me sad and anxious. And, tons of shake-ups and re-organization that mean I'm not sure where I'll even land in all of it if I'm not the dispensable chess pawn. You know how on facebook they have "It's Complicated" as an option for relationship status? Well, they really need and "It's Complicated" for work/employment. Just sayin'. This is the prettiest time of year where I live (probably similar to when you were in library school--all of the flowering trees/blossoms are out), even though you probably don't want to hear that again. But the thing is, because of the headspace I'm in, I'm not able to enjoy it as much as if I were happier and less anxious about life right now. *Deep Breaths*. Hang in there. Someone just told me April is "Stress Reduction Month" and if it is, bring it on!
from stepfordtart :
Youre right, cueillier IS hard to pronounce. A French student I once had struggled with 'brouillard', apparently its hard to say if youre French (and drunk). Similarly, if youre German (and drunk) you might struggle with 'flannelepschen', which Im given to believe is 'a little piece of flannel'. I love words, me. s x
from theshivers :
Ugh, empathizing so much with you right now...I hope April is cheerier for the both of us. Here's to a new month--it can't come soon enough.
from theshivers :
Thank you...xo
from stepfordtart :
I guess we have the same things here, but I have certainly never heard of one - oooh, estate sales sound FUN! Nearest Ive seen is a 'house clearance' which seems to be 'lets get rid of all this smelly old crap before the fumigators come in', which isnt the same AT ALL! s x
from stepfordtart :
Im ashamed I had to google C25K even tho Im right here in NHS land! And the virtual picture of your daughter with that pull-along made me smile a bit too! s x
from emeraldtiger :
oh it's not just the library world. it's all of higher ed, and probably all of the working world, whether it's K-12,corporate, academia you name it. that just touches on a nerve today and lately, especially being somewhere where some things are so entrenched. add to that the fact I just recently read a blog post from a friend citing salary differentials for women. white women earn 80 cents to the dollar than men earn. black women earn 64 cents I think, and hispanic women 56 (something like that; comapared to every dollar a man earns). The stats on her blog failed to even mention what it might be for any other non-white-male/non-dominant group....e.g, religious minority, gay people, Asian people, people with disabilities, etc. The gap widens the higher your educational level is. Ugh. ugh ugh. But....good luck to you on the house front!!
from stepfordtart :
Oh! I dont know why but this entry had me smiling all over the place - 4 year olds, Little House books, snow days. Mmmmm, its all good! s x
from stepfordtart :
I wish my entries 'rose slowly, like cream'. That all sounds very majestic. Mine seem more to bob to the surface and form themselves into a raft, rather like raw sewage in an ocean! I have escaped both Secret Santa and potlucks this year - feel my immeasurable joy! s x
from stepfordtart :
Hahaha! Too cute! (oh, and Im stealing that 'Maurice' line. I know not where you got it, but Im having it.) s x
from dearedwin :
We are in the exact same position as far as the house hunt goes (and we�re only house hunting because of the untimely death of a loved one). And square little stucco boxes of the 3 bedroom/1 or 2 bathroom variety are averaging around $420k around here. Violins, please! I�m hoping you have better luck than we�re having.
from emeraldtiger :
oh no...sorry to hear about the infection! i hope it's healed/healing. nice that you got out and got some downtime out and about. we all need what i like to call "girl alone time", no?
from stepfordtart :
Im given to understand that pubs of that name (and the place in London)is a corruption of "Infanta of Castile".....of course, that may be a load of old bollocks. I pretty much never go out by myself as it always seems like too much trouble, but you may well have inspired me to do it a bit more often! s x
from mavenhaven :
Girl, I am so sorry about your grandma (and sorry I'm just now reading about it). That was a lovely post, a great portrait of someone you loved so much. And an awesome surprise that she was squirreling away money for you--that must be a little overwhelming. Anyway, I'll be thinking about you. XO
from myra-lee :
Lovely K, I'm so sad to hear about your grandma. I had a kick-ass, self-sufficient hero of a grandma too. She died almost three years ago, and I still miss her every day. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel it all the way down to your bones. I'm so sorry.
from starkitten01 :
I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that my heart is with you. <3
from theshivers :
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother--she sounds like an amazing woman and your written memories of her are lovely.
from dearedwin :
So sorry about your grandmother. That was such a moving tribute.
from emeraldtiger :
I'm so sorry for your loss, and am thinking of you. What a great story of your grandma's life--I loved reading it, and yes, it sounds like she will be well remembered. Thinking about you. xo, m
from stepfordtart :
Oh! So sorry for your loss and so lovely to read her story - it sounds like she will be well-remembered (which is kind of what we all hope for, isnt it?). *thinking of you* s x
from dearedwin :
Is there a camp where your kid and my kid can go to find their respective happy places? A happy child�all I ever wanted...
from stepfordtart :
We do get a version of FX over here but I dont recongnise that Louis guy. I'll watch out for him. Oh, and when we were kids, we used to eat huge amounts of beetroot (usually at our grandmas house, it was a grandma kind of thing) to see if we could do 'pink wee'. We usually achieved it! s x
from stepfordtart :
I think everyone has to have a 'bad' day every now and them - it reminds them what the 'good' days are like! It happens. Now my kids are 15 and 11 I can see that the occasional bad day doesnt seem to have done them any permanent damage - for example one of them just asked if she could watch tv. I said "must you?" and she said "no. I'll read a book instead" and thats what she's doing. s x
from emeraldtiger :
Seriously? Wow. Well good for you for playing The Card. I would totally have done the same thing.
from stepfordtart :
I think you were absolutely right to play The Card - I would have done exactly the same. Not being funny, but what 3 year old can read silently? GRRRRR (on your behalf!). s x
from stepfordtart :
I did the single mum thing for a bit when I got divorced. Two kids, new house in an area where I didnt know anyone. It sucked big hairy goat balls. I hate being on my own. I bore myself! s x
from stepfordtart :
Hi! I love your diary and am adding you to my buddy list forthwith (hope thats OK). This is, not in small part, in solidarity for the entry you wrote about names. In my school we have a brother-sister set of C00lio and V0gue. *shakes head*. s x
from reddirtgirl :
Seriously, why does Southwest have to be such a dick about babies? We are flying them this summer and I dread it.
from theshivers :
Ultra-lonely Internet---I know exactly what you mean. So, without irony, I'm sending you good, friendly thoughts via the Internet.
from emeraldtiger :
All I can say about those names is...wow. In my old job, one of my clients had three kids named D'Aquan, D'Aquarius, and Zyquavius. I thought I had seen it all but clearly not.
from myra-lee :
What?! Is this a joke? These names are a joke, right? MiAnjel??
from arajane :
ok, first of all, i totally understand the selfish thing. it's the main thing that is freaking me out about being a parent. second of all, please let me take you out for a beer (you) and a ginger ale (me) and some chatting and relaxing. ok? ok!
from reddirtgirl :
Really, you consider that a fail? I consider that above and beyond.
from mavenhaven :
You, my friend, are supermom.
from dearedwin :
Party Down! I think I started watching it on Netflix because you�d mentioned it before. Megan Mullally�oh my god right now!�was unaware she was that amazing.
from reddirtgirl :
Oh god, I hate it when Matthew dies. I'm still not over the fact that Richard Farnsworth committed suicide, although I guess terminal incredibly painful cancer is a pretty good reason.
from mavenhaven :
Your day sounds amazing. And well-deserved. More in 2011, please!
from emeraldtiger :
I feel the same way about being a working stiff now. Join the masses. Not enough hours in the day. etc. etc. etc. :-(
from mavenhaven :
Bah, I am not cut out for working like that either, I don't think. And I'm sorry the biking is so much work, but aside from that, how is the bike??
from dearedwin :
Ah, I�m sorry about the suckage that is working�even in your chosen profession. This worries me. I�m going through the feeling pointless (w/the exception of raising A.�sort of�thing) staying at home thing. If I had the time and money to pursue the things I really wanted to from the homestead, perhaps things would be different; but I have neither. So while my child is reaping the benefits, I feel I am not (although perhaps I actually am). I�m caught between trying to go back to work for more money and benefits and pursuing yet another M.A./freelancing. Either would end up being hellish, I think. Feeling like there�s no win-win option available. I�m rambling, but thanks for your post, anyway. It gave me a little perspective. �I was looking for a job and then I found a job . . .�
from emeraldtiger :
good luck on the rental/housing front!! i'm sure you'll come across something that is right. i do recall from living there for one summer, and knowing other people who live/have lived there that housing and rental prices are astronomical, and yes, sometimes they can be quite high yet still shitty (like in many cities, not just seattle by any means). but as you already obviously know, there are a lot of cute/charming neighborhoods there, so i'm sending you some good housing vibes. and, i'm with you on the not living right by (or adjoined to) the landloard or people you encounter at work, if it can be helped-- ...a bit of professional distance is never bad.
from rue-madame :
Bon courage, as they say in French. It'll get easier, I swear.
from dearedwin :
I like the idea that things can just start going completely right (with some work, of course). This gives me great hope. I know you�re anxious to get back to your family, but I am loving hearing about this trip!
from rue-madame :
Rock on with your bad self!
from emeraldtiger :
congrats--that's so exciting! you have lots to look forward to.
from theshivers :
ps: congrats on all the good things coming your way as of late..you deserve them all
from theshivers :
thanks for your super-nice note - I really appreciate all the virtual support. And I've got to say, reading your diary is one of those things that makes me long for motherhood - I know it's tough but you seem to balance it pretty well and I admire that..
from ceildah :
thrilled it's going so well! sounds like a fantastic experience. congrats to you lady.
from mavenhaven :
If THIS entry were a facebook status I would like it! So pleased for you that you get to have the faux single lady experience. I'm having it for the next few days and it is very relaxing, albeit kind of filthy and not that nutritious.
from emeraldtiger :
If your entry were a facebook status, I would click "like". EnPeeR. You are awesome. Like Maven says, I look forward to reading more about this. Famous summertime humidity aside, I really hope you enjoy DC (a city I'm quite familiar with). Be sure to check out Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street (a DC institution--Obama has been known to drop in there). If you like Ethiopian or Indian food, Adams Morgan is a good area to find it. And, I think the great thing about DC is that so many things there are also free, like the Smithsonian and the zoo. Enjoy!
from mavenhaven :
cannot wait to read more about this phase.
from dearedwin :
RAH!
from reddirtgirl :
You are so awesome. Workin' at the enn pee arr, up for the perfect job out this way. My heroine.
from mavenhaven :
OH HA HA, you will be great. Go get on LiveMocha and see if someone will do a practice interview in French with you, or actually, I have a friend or two who probably would do it.
from rue-madame :
It's funny�I don't even really know you, but reading that post made me really happy for you, almost proud! Totally fantastic. You rock, K.
from dearedwin :
Okay...your latest post gave me great heaps of hope. Guiltless reading and chatting and whatnot sounds like the most blissful thing I haven�t felt in too many years. Congratulations!!!
from dearedwin :
I so feel you! I�m experiencing the terrible twos at eighteen months. She�s absolute nonsense right now. Crib-hopping, no real place to sleep, won�t fall asleep without our help all of a sudden. Twenty minutes of her flailing and sobbing in the library parking lot this morning; me unable to strap her into the car seat. The thesis? What thesis? I don�t think there will be a thesis. I don�t know how you do anything you�re doing. I really don�t.
from emeraldtiger :
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I also have a school-owned laptop that has just gone bad for the 2nd time. That computer will cease to be mine once I finish up, which, if all goes as planned, is sometime this summer (which is...sooner than it seems). I need to see if the university IT people can revive it and maybe reinstall Windows again. Argh. And hang in there. Don't be hard on yourself. You amaze me w/ all that you juggle--you're so not failing at things. xo,
from emeraldtiger :
yay for you turning in your Master's paper-congrats! what a great feeling it must be. that gives me hope that there really is a little light at the end of this school tunnel, and that everything will get done. pies and pickles and baseball and beer. what a great weekend. PS, fried pickles...are they dill? i've never had a fried pickles--it must be a regional thing, but i suspect those must be really good.
from theshivers :
thanks so much for leaving me a note! My little emo heart needed it : ) And I love your thoughts on the Internet - I've been thinking about writing an essay on this very topic -- how I love all the flash and glitz but still find solace in my 'comfort internet'...
from reddirtgirl :
Dang, woman, you are my hero of doing stuff--completing all kinds of films and art projects while going to school, working jobs, raising a child . .. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I think you should cut yourself some slack and have a beer. Do it for me. I miss beer.
from theshivers :
congratulations!
from emeraldtiger :
Yay...congratulations on the internship!!
from myra-lee :
Congratulations! That sounds like pretty much the most perfectly kayemessy gig imaginable! How great.
from dearedwin :
Congratulations on the internship!
from emeraldtiger :
Ha! NCAA sports. Most of the time I could care less about it, other than when I support my dad in rooting for his alma mater when they go to the Rose Bowl. I went to a small, private, liberal arts college, where the attitude towards college athletics (and there were teams) is very different from the way it's worshipped at large state universities. So it was culture-shock in a sense, when I came here for grad school and saw how much of an emphasis was placed on sports. And I definitely have opinions about the size of emphasis, the priorities of higher education in general. Also, last fall I went to a workshop on interviewing for jobs in higher ed, and was advised to absolutely be up-to-date on current scores and standings and news related to (this university's) sports teams, b/c employers often ask about them to make small talk in interviews. Uh oh.
from xnavygrrl :
I find it amazing also that people say hip hop and r & b is not music! Racist it is! I guess we all have to listen to banjo picking to be musically literate! LOL.
from emeraldtiger :
Thanks so much, and good luck to you, too--I'm definitely, definitely thinking good thoughts for you! (I looked at job listings again, today, and noticed yet another opening posted...but in Arkansas, of course).
from dearedwin :
And by �e-mail,� I mean e-mail address...
from dearedwin :
Do you have an e-mail you can e-mail to lovedayes[at]gmail.com?
from emeraldtiger :
I'm all for taking moments away from full inboxes and projects and deadlines to enjoy life's basics--especially when it's those simple but beautiful & irreplaceable moments w/ your little girl. Time doesn't stand still. Call it necessary procrastination! (Although I definitely know that feeling of having dropped the ball on the conveyor belt of work/school/life).
from reddirtgirl :
Um, I don't say that to myself every night about dinner because that is totally not what happens. Or, I guess it happens pretty often, but only because Richard makes it so. If I were that together I would make a little shrine to myself and light candles. Also, the story of "Night night I love you" kills me. KILLS.
from reddirtgirl :
Um, I don't say that to myself every night about dinner because that is totally not what happens. Or, I guess it happens pretty often, but only because Richard makes it so. If I were that together I would make a little shrine to myself and light candles. Also, the story of "Night night I love you" kills me. KILLS.
from mavenhaven :
I totally have that self-congratulatory thing about the food.
from arajane :
that "night night love you" thing just made me tear up a bit. how wonderful. also, you are totally a rock star for cooking good dinners every night. (i am so not a rockstar, as i am currently awaiting a pizza to be delivered, even with a bunch of csa product sitting around.) i am very impressed with you, as always.
from ceildah :
I feel like stalker too, or single White female. No, everything with my charming man is splendid, and what's more I'm soo appreciative that they are. Bibliotherapy was a gift from him, kinda nice. Troubles are down to losing my job, and not in a slash and burn, we gotta get the numbers down kinda way, but here they've blatently restructured me out because I'm not what they want. My function stays. Cue: low self esteem, cue: major internal review of whether I am lazy and useless, cue: depression and insecurity about the future. Oh and as well as job stuff- some of the trials and tribulations of baby-making. Yes, we're trying! which is cool but not always so easy. sorry, eek, you asked, ha!
from ceildah :
ps: was truely lovely to read your entry about the family wedding. acted like a similar perfectionist virgo freak at my boy's sister's wedding a few weeks ago. : ) with child must be muchos more harder.
from ceildah :
sorry didnt mean to startle. Im not usually a gloom head but I have been lately and its a bit weird. BUT! i think im coming out of it. more running, more dresses and heels, and more gigs. mwah. hi to simone. x
from dearedwin :
I�m terrified. I have the �pushing limits, temper tantrums, independence and frustration, defiance,� and the little thing hasn�t yet entered her eleventh month. I tell my neighbor, a mother of two kids under six, how batty my daughter is and my neighbor says, �Ooooh. I�ve never heard of such a thing at so young an age.� Hurrah! Do I chalk it up as some sort of milestone win? Anyhow, I�m feeling you�especially on the solo vacation part. We�ve had all of three two-hour night dates in almost a year.
from emeraldtiger :
Good luck w/ your last year of school! Glad to hear you're enjoying the new house. I did an in-town move a few summers ago, giving me a new perspective on familiar surroundings too! In fact, I moved to my current location the week before I started grad school school. (It was b/c my old place went condo on me, and I was forced to look for a sublet, live out of a suitcase/boxes, and then move again to my new place, all in one summer). I think autumn here on the E. Coast promises lots of crisp days with azure skies, pretty foliage, and heirloom apples. Enjoy it! And...don't feel bad about not boycotting Whole Foods. It's hard in the absence of Trader Joe's here too! (Rumor has it they're coming--hopefully it's true & it's soon).
from ceildah :
haha 'sometimes it would be nice to be universally loved and respected' i am feeling that right now! Entirely crap that those people didnt stop by your stand. Appalling. You have every right to feel miffed, or more.
from ceildah :
ta for your note...yes more and more and more I am seeing this as an opportunity, something shunting me on to the right path. It's been an interesting process to get to this place though - dark thoughts! and you - i think you are doing an amazing job of juggling all of life's demands. seriously.
from xxholding-on :
hi i saw you were online and i really wanted the vote from diaryland towards a contest i joined. It's a coach marketing contest and i need as many votes as i can get, please help! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=975395_34070543&pid=2767347&scid=452
from rue-madame :
It's totally not worth it to settle! Go with your heart.
from reddirtgirl :
Right.
from dearedwin :
Definitely right.
from reddirtgirl :
I just noticed that I start all my notes to you with "Wow." Shameful.
from reddirtgirl :
Wow, The Security Challenge Question. It's like a game show where you can win your own money.
from theshivers :
Three's Company - that is maybe the best thing I've heard in a very long time
from mavenhaven :
That sounds SOOOO DREAMY.
from reddirtgirl :
Wow, we were just talking about Tapper last night. Congratulations on the job!
from myra-lee :
I always think life is like a game of Tapper! Honestly, I've exhausted the analogy (including bird falling on head = thinking you've gotten away with some clever evasive maneuver, but no, you haven't). Congrats on yr summer job!
from rue-madame :
Man, I loved your entry today, telling it like it is! You are awesome.
from dearedwin :
god, i loved that one.
from myra-lee :
I'm glad you're feeling better. I too feel like a failure these days and have been freaking out over things not perfectly executed. And speaking of things not perfectly executed, Rachel Getting Married made me hate our wedding! It really moved me, especially that group of friends and the chanting. All the wedding scenes, really.
from arajane :
dear kyla, yes and yes and yes and yes and yes! i know. sure, i don't have the toddler to contend with, but i totally get it. just know that there are many of us in the universe who think you are awesome and would not only interview you for the job, but offer it to you, too. xoxo, --ara jane p.s. i felt the same way about rachel getting married. i saw it months ago and still think about it now.
from dearedwin :
kayemess, weren't you doing school when simone was half a year? i need to know how you did it. as you know, this thesis thing lingers on. i have one more (school) year to get it done. i'm still currently unemployed�yet every waking moment is invested in keeping this roly-poly from harming herself. her daytime naps total about an hour-and-a-half. she no longer sleeps. any hints? (consider yourself the new askmoxie.)
from mavenhaven :
I know the whole situation kind of sucks, but this entry just kind of made me love you.
from dearedwin :
ah, thank you. i'm leaning toward yes�but still so terrified. this child is a charmer, but not yet consistent in any way (naps especially). she's also not accepting a bottle from me at the moment, so perhaps i should sew two nursing covers together. :) thanks again for the advice. i'm glad you were online!
from dearedwin :
kayemess, i need your advice. my grandmother passed away this morning, and i have the option of flying from CA to MO wednesday. A is 5 months old and she's pretty squirmy. is taking her an insane idea? i know you traveled with simone when she was quite young. how did you do it? ack.
from ceildah :
ah, i loved that entry..all the belonging stuff. i really know what you mean about f'book mummy pics. Worse I think are f'book wedding dress pics. Vom. I, am gutted. I was up til 3am last night working, gave a presentation today, then a 2 hr meeting with the CE, bought SITC The Movie on the way home by bike....BUT when i made it into my lounge to put it on at 8pm...it wasnt inside the box! shattered. sorry i had to share my heart break with someone. ER is really not, making up for it.
from wendell77 :
I have two tankini/swimskirt combos and they are awesome. One is from J Crew, the other from Eddie Bauer. It's nice to have my upper thighs/bikini line covered in a way that is more flattering than a short.
from dearedwin :
I can�t wait for kisses and actually being asked to have a story read!
from theshivers :
Thank you for the good thoughts - and I sending good thoughts your way about your own job situation. Also: Hooray for spring! It feels as though we all need it right about now.
from mavenhaven :
I thought the most exceptional thing about the Shelby Knox doc is how supportive her parents were. They never moralized with her, at least not on-camera, and only expressed concern that the battles she was choosing to fight were taking too much of a toll on her stress-wise. But they never pressured her to change her mind despite the fact that they completely disagreed with her on a number of issues. I hope I can be cool like that if/when I become a parent.
from wendell77 :
I think the different browns are fine. Denim shopping is always a horror; so much hope, so many disasters. I think I'm really trying to buy a new ass.
from hungryghost :
When you figure out the brown skirt/brown boots/tights problem, please help a sister out.
from mavenhaven :
Oh man, thanks for reminding me about Dr Horrible. I just watched it all online and can't believe I didn't get around to doing it before, especially since I was aware of it as it was being unveiled. So good.
from arajane :
There is nothing wrong with having a thing for Michael Cera. If there is, then I am a very very bad woman indeed. I also wanted to say thank you for your notes on my book blog. I honestly forget that anyone besides myself reads the thing, so it's nice to see your comments there! And I was happy to hear that you agree with my thoughts about The Secret Life of Bees. I am dreading going to book club on friday and being the lone voice of grumpiness. And can I tell you (again?) that I miss your updates on Make!Do! Because I do.
from reddirtgirl :
Simone is so cute it is almost intolerable. That new face SLAYS me.
from reddirtgirl :
First of all: I SO want you to go to Chicago this summer. It would just be so very awesome. I really hope it works out--not least because it would be a good time for you to nextwork with some west coast library peeps. If you're worried about people caring where your library degree is from, I don't think anybody out here does. But you might be at a disadvantage out here just from not having done internships and stuff, and not knowing folks. But we could fix that! Really we could. Getting hired out here is painful for everyone, but if you're willing to be a temp and/or sub for a while, it almost always works out in the end, from what I've seen. I'm sure I'm telling you lots of stuff that you already know but I can't seem to help myself. One more thing on this longest note ever: That description of your day was exhausting just to read. You are WAY too hard on yourself. If I could do half of those things passably in one day, I would throw myself a party.
from rue-madame :
I just wanted to say that I'm super excited about your video project and everything you're doing in school. Keep up the good work. You are super inspiring!
from dearedwin :
I have a Flip on order. I�ve only heard good things about it, so I hope it serves us well.
from myra-lee :
I too would rankle and spit at the gutter-cleaning command.
from arajane :
of course, it's everyone else in the world, and not you or me who have the problem. also, i will come over and play settlers with you anytime. it is the best game, because i believe the inhabitants of catan to be a completely godless people. that's why i like them so much.
from myra-lee :
Wait! What's your baby-video production deadline? I think I can be of help...a kayemess parcel has been neglected but is ready to go at long last!
from mavenhaven :
I should absolutely have "follow through" tattooed all over myself.
from dearedwin :
i feel your follow-through agony. the girl who has not touched her thesis for going on a year...who now feels like it just cannot happen because i only seem to be able to type one-handed these days--and i feel terrible guilt for doing that! i hope you know that you are so inspiring to me. i know it must be awfully difficult to pull it all off, but you are, and i hope i can follow suit. even if getting my MA has now surpassed the time it took me to get my BA. grrr.
from hungryghost :
Club Qu@rters: clean, cheap, conveniently located. Let me know if you want the code to book.
from reddirtgirl :
An expert in Facebook? Really? I NEVER want to read a dissertation about Facebook.
from dearedwin :
I'm reading back over stuff I missed in your life as I was dawdling over at LJ, and I realized that my trials have mirrored yours�from the crying spells (mine) to the failure to thrive issues! May I ask what ended up happening with the breastfeeding? Our A. gained a whopping two ounces (still 9 ounces shy of her birth weight) the last time we weighed in. Seeing as she's chugging the formula along with breast milk, I'm hoping that'll change by Wednesday. The only thing I've ascertained about my built-in feeding function is that the girl on the right puts out about two-and-a-half times more than the the girl on the left. It feels like neverending defeat.
from reddirtgirl :
You did it!!! Way to swing North Carolina. Could you move to Alabama next and work your mojo there? Thank you.
from reddirtgirl :
I too am looking for signs everywhere. A button popped off my coat this morning and I felt sure it was an evil omen.
from myra-lee :
Oooh! Such a bummer to have missed the opportunity to deliver the perfect response to that McCain-supporting jackass!
from reddirtgirl :
Oh honey. I'm so sorry you had a Jonah day. It IS exhausting being the odd person out, opinions-wise, and I think you should cut yourself some slack for that. Plus, this is an especially hard time to let things slide. I care about this election so freaking much I dream about it, and I haven't done half of what you have to make it go the way I want it to go. You're a good person.
from mavenhaven :
Feelin this post.
from reddirtgirl :
Oh and p.s., it turns out that canvassing for Obama in Seattle really is easy because no one is ever home. And the houses where I actually find people aren't the right people--those people, inevitably, have moved. Richard speculated that maybe the names they gave me were just the only people in NE Seattle who had not yet contributed to Obama's campaign.
from reddirtgirl :
Nobody does the library school readings. You don't need them. I'm so glad you're not wasting your valuable time with those. About the compartmentalizing--it's gotten easier since my parents switched to the Light Side. My brother still believes in the bad, but we don't talk enough for it to come up (usually). I have an evil uncle-by-marriage, though, and we stayed with that family during my brother's wedding a few weeks ago. The uncle CONSTANTLY needled about Obama, and in such stupid ways--that he makes a lot of linguistic gaffes, for instance (um, hello, have you listened to your own candidate ever?). I have never liked that uncle but now I hate his guts completely and wish all kinds of ills upon him. It's not right, but I can't help it.
from mavenhaven :
Ahhhhhahahahahahaha, I am laughing inside about your facebook gaffe, especially because I got your friend request at my school address and my facebook page says "Krispy Wheats" instead of my name. Good for AH for responding to his sister. In my immediate family there isn't any of this kind of discord, but my mother's sister and her husband are flaming conservatives and there are things we just do. not. discuss. I am sure it's extremely difficult for my mother, since she has seen her sister become more and more conservative (and fearful, because that's what that really is) over the years. They are lovely people who share some of my values (importance of family, emphasis on arts education and developing their kids' creative talents, plus their children are adopted), but I don't think I'll ever be really close to them. Although now, having written all of this, I do remember that there were some casual discussions amongst all the family members during primary season and no one went ballistic. And actually, I'd be happy to discuss my pro-choice work with them if it ever came up. Sigh.
from myra-lee :
Oh no, picketing in front of a Planned Parenthood?! But does your SIL read Ann Coulter? My mom does. She also devours anything Pat Robertson puts out and believes the Left Behind series is only sort of fiction. You hit the nail on the head with "compartmentalize" because that's exactly what it takes to have Thanksgiving dinner with someone whose politics are so contrary to your own. Having babies around helps. Everyone likes babies.
from reddirtgirl :
1. I'm doing the door to door thing too, but I haven't started yet. Let's face it though--it's one thing to knock on doors in Ravenna. It's quite another in the South. I'm so impressed. 2. I just put Berkeley Square on hold and I CAN'T WAIT.
from reddirtgirl :
1. I'm doing the door to door thing too, but I haven't started yet. Let's face it though--it's one thing to knock on doors in Ravenna. It's quite another in the South. I'm so impressed. 2. I just put Berkeley Square on hold and I CAN'T WAIT.
from mavenhaven :
You hit the nail on the head with that thing about making the transition from "someone who wants to be X" to "being X." I made that transition very sloppily and accidentally as a teacher, and since I still don't teach full-time part of me feels like I never made that transition at all. Now that I have a day job I am wondering, ever more often, what exactly I am going to do with my mortal life. Probably I need to visualize some Possible Selves.
from goodluckgold :
hey waassup? love your diary sned me a note if u have the chance
from lass :
I can relate to the alleged "neighborhood" association - the same kind of thing happened in my last neighborhood in Chicago. I attended one meeting of the shiny new association - at which this bimbo was complaining about a certain house on our block looking "trashy". I told her an elderly Hispanic guy (read: someone who has been in the neighborhood 25 years longer than the bimbo) lived there and hey, maybe we could all pitch in and offer to help him with his yardwork. I knew him and would bring him a Sunday paper and groceries every week. My suggestion of actual - oh I don't know, neighborliness - was met with a roomful of blank stares. It was all I could do to keep from telling them to fuck off as I left the meeting. Ack.
from myra-lee :
I'm with you on the weird, misguided "feminists for Palin" thing. Did you read this article? http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-steinem4-2008sep04,0,7915118.story
from mavenhaven :
Forgive me for getting all political in your comment box, but saying that Palin doesn't deserve the defense of feminists because she's a right wing anti-woman ideologue is a little bit like saying that only people who agree with us should be afforded freedom of speech. It took about 30 seconds for the VPILF.com site to be launched--would not have happened if Palin were a man. She's been attacked because she has a baby--"this is a terrible time for her to be campaigning, with a young child"--and we're talking about a *career politician* who is the *governor of a state*--and you know it would never cross anyone's mind to say the same thing of a male politician. So while I think Sarah Palin's policies are bullshit and I think her nomination is a pandering crock of crap on the part of the republican party, I will always defend her against attacks on her *gender*. Her politics are fair game and I say bring it on.
from reddirtgirl :
And now that I've left you that needlessly ranty note, here's another one to mention that I have no idea how you work and go to school and take care of a bebe AND do amazing art projects. It blows my mind. Did I already send you a note or email to this effect? I did in my head.
from reddirtgirl :
It is SO not okay to do whatever you want because you're a woman. That crap drives me nuts. Like, how far do they want to ride that crazy logic train--murder? Atomic-bomb dropping? All okay because you're a woman? Or is persecuting other women the only thing we're prepared to support? Sorry, I know. Coupla choir members, we are. But really, the whole argument that feminism means you can make whatever choices you want is so bunkum.
from ceildah :
hey kayerness (which is what my blind eyes always thought your name was...) im not a self-help book person, but when i went to the beach i read The Medici Effect, by Frans Johansson which certainly isnt a self help book, but it has some similar traits. Anyway, it is a wonderful book and one of the many many things it tells you, and uses Mozart and Darwin to illustrate, is that its all about quantity of ideas, er but i guess quality is also good! this was of some assurance to me. have a good one x
from lass :
Hi Kay, I just wanted to let you know I responded to your comment over on my wordpress page. I appreciate your thoughts. - L
from mavenhaven :
I feel like this all the time, that I'm rapidly outliving my ability to live up to my potential, but the fact is that we are smart and curious people and will continue to find things to love and pursue and be good at. So it sucks that you didn't win (I really liked your piece). But this feeling will pass.
from myra-lee :
I'm so sorry to hear you guys didn't win. It really sounds like the one they picked just won by a nose. The fact that they took the time to say wonderful things about your piece means a lot! It means you have already done something special and that you can do it again. It means you made something that moved people and that you're already much, much more than a dabbler (which I already knew). The use of the word agonizing! I know it doesn't feel awesome right now, but if you got that close this time, you certainly have what it takes to win the whole tamale next time. But man do I hear what you're saying about realizing there are a finite number of days and dreams. I think about that all the time. It keeps me up at night.
from mavenhaven :
Amazing.
from reddirtgirl :
I cannot believe that Simone is .5 already! Good heavens.
from reddirtgirl :
Aw man, we gotta get you out of there. I sort of miss the humidity, but I complained about it all the time when I was there. It really is too much. All you can do is sit on the porch and drink beer/iced tea. Walks are out.
from myra-lee :
Ooh, did you get the pamphlet about Christians listening to pop music? That's right up my alley! Three cheers to your mom for recommending that. Mine would've been reading the arguments against the devil to me. Also, I like the sound of "How to be a safety chief."
from dearedwin :
my sister�s 12-year-old daughter has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese, plain noodles and butter, and the occasional hot dog her whole life. and my sister and her well-intentioned husband have convinced my parents that beer cozies are somehow de rigueur. amongst other things. i can certainly empathize.
from arajane :
oh my goodness, that sounds like a horrible, horrible experience. you seem to me to be holding up admirably, though. i hope your plane/shuttle/bus/plane/etc trip goes smoothly!
from dearedwin :
i recently read that bit of legislation, too; and i would�ve presumed the same thing. breathe deeply!
from myra-lee :
Oh my god, I'm such a jackass! I'm usually really good about checking my various e-mails, but that one has been neglected for longer than I realized. You are so super awesome! Thank you so much! Powells! You have no idea how much I long to read a normal book like a normal human. I will use this Powells privilege to pick the most perfect celebratory post-bar read, although I better do it now because, come late July, I'm likely to pick something like that Sears catalog-sized People Magazine crossword puzzle book they sell at the grocery store.
from myra-lee :
We also watched The Comeback in two days. I too am on Elder Walker's side. I realize I haven't earned the right to voice such an opinion, being child-free and all, but I'm just sayin. I'm excited for you to do an exchange program!
from myra-lee :
We just watched The Comeback too! And I totally loved it. And loved Mickey. I think Erik is getting tired of me saying "I don't wanna see that" at least once a day, but it isn't getting old to me.
from dearedwin :
first, rah for obama. and b, i�ve only rejoined d-land again as of late and am so heartened to hear about your happy 5-month-old. i�m 5 months pregnant, so i appreciate any finer points of parenthood i can glimpse.
from oneplace :
Hi, you just left me a comment on fridayfilms. This is my sneaky way of keeping track of journals I like on diaryland (where I got my start, long before my mother knew what a url was, but not long enough I guess). I'd like to keep track of you too, so. There! Seems like we are in similar predicaments, being ex-pats of the Canadian sort. We need to stick together you know! Cheers, Friday.
from myra-lee :
Congratulations on the awesome-sounding job!! Sounds like the perfect job for you...like something you already do anyway for free. Also, yay for the Arcade Fire-Superchunk-Obama triple bill. And for free! And yay for Flight of the Conchords. I just found out they played an instore at a record store up the street from my house last night, and I missed it. So sad. Have a good trip to NM!
from mavenhaven :
Hey, congrats on the job! and I am secretly in love with Jemaine.
from theshivers :
Don't be too hard on your self, appearance-wise. My guess is the rest of the world thinks you look great - more than anything it's about finding new ways to exercise that do not involve sucky running. Maybe strength training of some kind...but more than anything, be kind to yourself! You've given birth to a wonderful baby and deserve some yummy bread, damn it. Just sayin'
from myra-lee :
I've been meaning to do this too. Thanks for the nice words. You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you still listen to the mixes!
from ceildah :
great entry, thanks
from mavenhaven :
I happened to be in the car while Obama was giving that speech and had very much the same reaction you did--about both the form and the content of the speech. We need someone who can 1) speak like that and 2) say those things. Also, congratulations on getting some nights to yourself.
from ceildah :
i have to state for the record that in my opinion Simone is the most devine name. So sophistocated and sassy - love it. It's great that your kid is into loud heavy rock at such a young age too! It wasn't until I was 5 that I got that appreciation - but Twisted Sister changed everything for me.
from mavenhaven :
Samoas are still called samoas in certain areas--it depends on which baker the local Girl Scout council uses. Even here in the TCs Minneapolis can get one kind and ST Paul another. Whatever--any way you look at it, Thin Mints are the most solid choice you can make.
from rue-madame :
I just want you to know that I am loving your recent posts, they comfort me and reassure me that it's possible to have a baby and not lose half your brain in the process. On another note, formula is not so bad--she will fatten up, and possibly even sleep for longer stretches so you can catch your breath!
from mavenhaven :
All of my sister's kids are/were SUPER snorty babies. I kind of love it. It's a reminder that they are just instinctive little animals.
from monkeybar :
K, Big hugs to you and AH and baby Simone. I love her beautiful name! Hang in there, babe...I'm so sorry to hear you're sick and wish I could come over and help you rest, but it'll pass..and the routine will come...I promise! It gets so much better!
from reddirtgirl :
I'm sincerely glad to hear that you're the same person. Everyone always talks about how NOTHING is the same, they can't even remember the people they were before, etc. etc. It's nice to hear that it's not necessarily so.
from ceildah :
yyyyyaay! I've been hanging out to read your 'labour' post and hear the news...but ridicuolously i was in china where they deny web access to blogs. So have been tapping my toes and wondering how it went. so glad you are all safe and well. x
from reddirtgirl :
That post made me cry a little bit. I'm so happy for you three!
from mavenhaven :
faaaaaabulous. So glad you wrote this all down.
from myra-lee :
I'm feeling a little crass now that -- after you write this beautiful, heartfelt entry about a really magical experience -- I pop in here and comment about tearing.
from myra-lee :
Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you. Hooray for Simone. I love that name, and I thought of precisely the three Simones you listed when I first read the name. And hooray for a tear-free delivery. My word, whenever I'm around a group of women and the topic of tearing comes up, I just shudder. I'm so glad to hear that an experience like yours is possible!
from theshivers :
a million, gazillion congratulations!
from rue-madame :
Bienvenue, Simone! Congratulations to all of you!
from arajane :
yay, congratulations! i can't wait to hear all about simone (what a beautiful name)! xoxo,
from rue-madame :
Good luck with the waiting game, although you really don't have that much longer to wait. They say boys stay in the oven longer because they require more time to cook...
from reddirtgirl :
Hey, thanks--we are totally engaged and stuff. I'm about to go check out your registry!
from rue-madame :
I read that article and was horrified as well. What's left that hasn't been commodified?
from theshivers :
i have heard of these "mean midwifes" ...goodness...in any case, i have nothing else insightful to offer other than your entry made me both wince and laugh (the headphones part) and I'm thinking good thoughts for you and the little one.
from mavenhaven :
The first midwife at Willa's birth was a crazy east bloc woman who offered my sister morphine FIRST THING. She had a horrible bedside manner and she also shot down my sister's pre-planned tubal ligation, saying "oh there's no surgeon who will do that for you for the next six months." Whereas the attending midwife (who coincidentally went to my alma mater) was like "I see you've opted for the tubal ligation, so we'll just get that on the schedule for tomorrow." My sister is going to write a strongly worded letter about the crazy one.
from arajane :
i may be biased, but i say go for the acupuncture. there's a quick and easy technique for turning breech presentations that doesn't even involve needles! not to mention weird hip maneuvers.
from lloydskater :
hello there! i am a long time portland lurker, i don't know how i ever stumbled across your blog, but years ago i did (like before you moved to portland years ago). anywhoo... hope that doesn't sound too stalkerish. i just wanted to send you some internet support for the rest of your pregnancy and new mommahood. i had a baby in May and can sooo relate to so many of the things you are thinking about in your recent entries. i don't have any family around me here, and most of my friends have proven to be drinking buddies more or less, which is pretty useless now. obviously. i just know how lonely i've felt, and for me, what a suprise it was those first few months. my wish for you is to create some sort of support network around you now, that can carry over once the baby is born. i never thought i would need that, but now, oh dear god it is my daily mission to try and connect with other mamas. and its not easy. and i wish i would have done some prenatal yoga or swimming or something to try and make those connection prenatally. you might try a LaLecheLeague meeting in the next few weeks. you'll meet moms with brand new babes and probably some other pregnant gals as well. because all of this IS a huge deal, and we're not meant to do it alone. please please please don't hesitate to email me if you need any information and/or support. gotta run- babe is crying-
from rue-madame :
I am sending you a virtual hug scented with warm gingerbread since I think it might cheer you up.
from mavenhaven :
Um, hello. You can have a shower on the internets. Send your address. I know your entry wasn't a plea for presents but I want to give you one anyway. Also, once the baby comes, gifts will come out of the woodwork, trust me.
from myra-lee :
Hello there! I'm sorry to hear about the breaking down of laptop and person. Like it's not rough enough to have a small creature living inside you, to not have friends/family around must be really trying. I feel for you. Regarding outfits, I think you would probably not regret visiting Raleigh to purchase garments for babe at this place: http://www.childrensorchard.com/component/option,com_store/state,NC/ Also, can I please have your address? I have a prize I'd like to send you!
from myra-lee :
Congrats on your new house! I think it's worth applying to the job just to get on their radar. Anything could happen: the person they hire might not work out. They might love you so much they decide to hold the position for you. Who knows? I've learned there really is some truth to the whole squeaky wheel approach to the job hunt. Good luck!
from mavenhaven :
I gotta get on that timer method. Now that I'm back in the office-y workforce I am realizing that I've become a disorganized slacker. I still get things done but I wonder what magical shit I'd accomplish if I did things like actively managing my time. Hmm, there was something else I was going to note you about, but I can't remember it. Good stuff I'm sure.
from theshivers :
a very belated congratulations!! How exciting. Also, I too love Heather!
from mavenhaven :
I feel you.
from reddirtgirl :
I love Heather. LOVE HER. And yup, I could see that Blonde Bobblehead was on her way out when they showed about 40 of her confessionals, in all of which she said nothing.
from reddirtgirl :
A good friend of mine, who is also a wonderful mother, once told me that not only did she not fall in love with her baby during her pregnancy, she also did not fall in love with it very much during the first couple of months it was alive. She didn't really view it as a person so much as a constant source of need. But then after the 3rd month or so it (she) started to smile and do things, and my friend has been nuts about her baby ever since.
from katherinhand :
i stumbled upon your birthday entry! happy happy day! and very excited about all that's in store for you. i am sending you heaps of good vibes. love, jenn
from rue-madame :
It's not you, N. Garcia looks worked, and way older than 41.
from reddirtgirl :
It's been wet and crappy in Seattle for a week or so now (I'm so depressed I've lost track of time), and your entry about the heat just made me really, really homesick. Enjoy the heat, you lucky woman.
from ceildah :
god that does sound fucking awful i have to say. Poor thing. I too would be going mental. Today i accidently tucked my dress into the back of my knickers and walked through a lobby. red face, white ass.
from rue-madame :
I know how depressed you must be in the corporate housing. I am living in that right now--our bland apartment is adjacent to some woods that lead nowhere--and if I am not housebound then I am in the car trying to get as far away from this mediocrity as I can. Fortunately, it's temporary...
from demoderby :
hey lady! i've pretty much abandoned diaryland, but when jeanette mentioned that you were pregnant, i had to stop by and say, "hey, me too!". i think we might be close to the same amount of pregnant too? i'm about 18 weeks now. it's weird and exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
from arajane :
ok, i'm not going to get too excited, but here's a tiny, fava bean-sized "yay!" from me.
from rue-madame :
Omg, so many developments, and I mean that literally! Congrats.
from reddirtgirl :
Look at you, writing for the Oregonian! So awesome. Congratulations!
from myra-lee :
"Kyla Sweet is a Portland writer." Congratulations!
from arajane :
i, too, am glad that jaslene won. though it was totally obvious that she was going to win by the time they were down to her, rene, and natasha. now, when is the next project runway going to start?
from rue-madame :
Congratulations! I am super happy and excited to hear all about this new and adventurous chapter in your life. You're my hero!
from myra-lee :
Wow! Congratulations on library school!! I think you're going to LOVE Chapel Hill. It's so beautiful and magical. You are awesome.
from reddirtgirl :
I loved The Road--in a wrist-slitting kind of way.
from rue-madame :
you are awesome! if there were ever a tattoo to get, that would be it (although folks would probably find it a bit egotistical, but who cares about "folks" anyway...)
from myra-lee :
I know! I can't wait to get that new Arcade Fire! I love the three songs I've heard from it. Also, thank you for the hot sock tip.
from mavenhaven :
I don't care if I'm the only dork ever leaving notes, so, you know, let me be the first to say yay for feeling good. I haven't ordered anything from sockdreams yet but have been stalking around on the website for a few months. Maybe I just needed a personal testimonial to push me over the edge.
from mavenhaven :
You're on an entry roll, woman. I loved reading this, even though the stuff that caused you to write it sort of sucks.
from demoderby :
today's entry is fantastic. i had seen some of those vaccine commercials and wondered what the deal is. thanks for the lowdown.
from mavenhaven :
That "free pass to fornicate" is exactly why the cervical cancer vaccine was held up as long as it was before they finally approved it (just like Plan B OTC). This is a ridiculous, ridiculous country, and all your opinions on and reservations about the vaccine are totally well-founded.
from mavenhaven :
Dude, I love all your posts. Just had to tell you that. Now write more often!
from reddirtgirl :
Man, I am such a Canadian. I've striven all my life to be able to just say thank you when somebody gives me a compliment. The closest I've come is to say it, but in a manner that suggests that the complimenter and I both know that they are probably only complimenting me because they feel sorry for me, and we both know that the compliment is patently false.
from mavenhaven :
Ahhhh, such a satisfying entry...I was just wondering what you'd been up to. And I wish I could get a little of your excitement about researching for its own sake, but paradoxically, until my academic work is completely finished, I would rather do almost anything than think rigorously about anything. Also, I love I Capture the Castle, and I happened to read The Blind Assassin right after I read ICC for the first time, and Atwood's book seemed indebted to ICC--at least superficially. Maybe I should read them again and see if I still think that. But not, alas, until I am done with flipping graaaaaaad schoooooool.
from reddirtgirl :
You are so NOT average, and I mean that in the best way. Myra-Lee is absolutely right about standardized tests. You know who's great at standardized test? Rich jerkfaces who spend thousands of dollars in order to be great at standardized tests. But how many of those jerkfaces have put together their own zine, or radio story? Not very many.
from myra-lee :
Do not despair, Mrs. K! I know it's disappointing to not get the score you want (I had little signs that said "175!!!" all over my apartment while I was preparing to take the LSAT, and I did not get a 175). However, your dazzling 4.0 will go a long way when you apply for ye old grad school. That and your beautiful writing. You will win hearts and minds with your personal statement, I have no doubt. You are so NOT pretty good/average/not bad. You are unique and brilliant in your own special, thoughtful way. In law school, I've encountered a lot of people who have gotten where they are by learning how to play the game of test-taking; it's unbelievable the amount of energy they'll spend figuring out how to avoid learning, caring only about getting the highest grade in the class. I don't envy their way. I suspect your peak is yet to come.
from the-ordinary :
i emailed my mom about the cookie recipe, so hopefully we will have sour cream cookies in this household before too long! i have to have the same ones i have every year, because that is just the kind of person that i am. also, i'm in the library program at wayne state, not at u of michigan (wayne's program is more library-based, and um's is more information-based, plus wayne is cheaper and i didn't want to go back to um after getting my undergrad degree there), so i probably can't give you any helpful information. i work with some people from um, so i could repeat random facts that they have told me, but that would be the extent of my knowledge of the program.
from reddirtgirl :
Excellent use of GRE vocab! Have you seen those novels that are supposed to teach you the vocab while you read? I haven't read one yet but they are quite popular. Also, I must have missed your skinny jeans entry, but I have to say I'm not a fan. At best, they make your feet look huge.
from rue-madame :
I loved your entry today!
from emeraldtiger :
ooh, there are no words to describe how i feel about skinny leg jeans! it's an untenable look for anyone whose thighs are wider than their calves. they are simply not flattering on ANYONE.
from myra-lee :
Oooh, do not get me started on those stupid skinny-legged jeans. Rar. How exciting that you're almost done with undergrad! Yay for you.
from reddirtgirl :
I just put a hold on that book. I need to come to terms with this phone phobia.
from reddirtgirl :
And a p.s. (because I can't sign your guestbook again this fast): I have at least three of your five weird habits and they didn't even cross my mind.
from gingeryette :
I can't sign the guest book. Congrats on the new gig - that is my dream job...librarian! *sigh* I've been meaning to write and tell you that I totally agreed with you about the Julie and Julia book. Also, is just me or did she seem super cranky? I suppose it takes one to know one but 300 pages of it gets pretty damn old. and i ordered Getting Things Done off of Amazon based on your recommendation.
from theshivers :
thanks so much for posting that recipe! I can't wait to try it...
from theshivers :
i would have probably yelled at the poor woman too because i get very grumpy when someone steals my paper, so don't feel too bad...now, any chance you'd share that gingerbread cakes recipe?!
from shadowdress :
i am so happy you got gerda and olcott on the air! i wish i could here it. i am going to start causing a fuss if audio does not become available on the archive. congratulations! even though you are critacla of it, i'm sure it's fantastic.
from mrs-roboto :
Why won't they archive the audio at Outfront on Gerta and Olcott? I'm dying to hear it!!!
from katherinhand :
okay. so how do i jump up and down and yell 'oh! oh! we really should meet for happy hour sometime!!! !' and not seem creepy about it?
from mavenhaven :
Update: I am actually crashing headlong through your archives and rapidly getting addicted to your stories.
from mavenhaven :
Hey, thanks for linking me; I'm now slinking through your archives.
from mrs-roboto :
hey, I've been trying to email you but getting the full mailbox message - did you change emails?
from shadowdress :
i sooo know what you mean...about the looping, the dimissing praise and holding onto criticism, all of it. but i do believe in the possibility of re-wiring. some things i used to obssess like crazy about don't bother me anymore. i think it has a lot to do with leaving your comfort zones. by the way...from what i've read you have lots of great ideas. and i'm not just saying that!
from shadowdress :
thanks so much for the encouraging words. i really needed to hear that. i was trying to tell myself that but i didn't believe me.
from mrs-roboto :
I got the Nigella bowls and a Queen Bee bag for Xmas from Pete! How odd!
from mrs-roboto :
Go Gerta! I am so excited for you!
from rue-madame :
I sent you an email this morning, but it got bounced back to me. Do you have an alternate address to the [email protected] one? I am sending you happy thoughts for your first day of work... xo M.
from mrs-roboto :
I'm glad you made it safely! I look forward to visiting soon (also you have a LUSH there - le sigh).
from xxpinkinkxx :
i love your diary! i hope that everything works out with the apartments and such. <3
from monkeybar :
I hate encores, as well. 5 is insanity. Burt's Bees has a good hand salve for what I forsee are chapped raw hands! Goodness! Miss you and perhaps I'll throw a party so you can model your blazer!!
from peckish :
Even worse than the people you kinda know reading your site are the crazy stalker ex-boyfriends or ex-friends. But don't stop. Christine - a total stranger.
from mrs-roboto :
I'm so sorry. I am betting everyone goes down who was at my BBQ. Good news is that it only last about four days and then it's over. Well almost except for the ongoing fountain of mucus I'm pumping out.
from monkeybar :
your poor toe! i'm so sorry!!!
from shadowdress :
I've always wanted to live where they have a good Farmer's Market. Instead of purple string beans and white eggplant, here we have sunglass vendors and homeless people, with some mediocre produce in between. Anyway--thank you for the b-day wishes and glad you liked your gift and thought we were psychic instead of just late!
from mrs-roboto :
I have yet to see the revised Vac Shack sign (what does it say?). However, I did spot you and AH strolling on the avenue yesterday as I was returning from a bike ride on the East Side. I think it's kind of rude to shout out the car window or honk so I let you stroll on in peace. BTW, we had a similar married moment this weekend when trying to check out of a campground only I am more like AH and Pete is more like you.
from reddirtgirl :
I'm so glad everything went so well for your wedding. Congratulations!
from myra-lee :
Awww! AH!! I'm so glad it all fell into place...I'll admit, I got nervous about the weather situation. Your mom and sister sound so great.
from theshivers :
wow, it all sounds like it was wonderfully perfect. Many congratulations and wishes for enduring happiness!!!
from demoderby :
awwww... sounds like you had a perfect wedding. congratulations!
from mrs-roboto :
Both myself and RDG marveled at the weather you got for your wedding day. Good omen? Definitely!
from ceildah :
Ive been hanging out to hear how the big day went! Glad it was a lovely day for you in the end - sounded awesome. Its very cool that you did so much DYI style and didnt 'buy in' everything incl. the kitchen sink. Best wishes..!
from rue-madame :
Congratulations!
from shadowdress :
Happy Wedding Day!
from myra-lee :
The joy is coming! I just know it. And I, too, feel your expensive razor rage. Whenever my work sends me to fancy hotels, I'm a razor bandit, stuffing them into my luggage like a shaving fiend. And then, of course, I often use Erik's, but that's caused some minor quarrels, so I don't recommend the bogarting of the loved one's razor route. Anyway, joy is surely just around the corner, Mrs. AB (almost)!
from shadowdress :
oh I so relate to all that pressure for that one day but take heart! you are in true love and afterall it is only a day, a marker, and i know even if the rain is pouring down your heart will be bursting when you hold your man's hand and look into his eyes and later that will be all that matters.
from mrs-roboto :
It will be wonderful, just wait. Also if you need to borrow my truck or something to pick stuff up or if I can give you a hand in any way give me a call.
from reddirtgirl :
Things will get better, I know it! Your wedding will be great. Don't give up on our country yet, even if it does have bad cable. I have to agree with you about the razor blades, though. Total scam.
from shadowdress :
welcome back--i've missed you!!! would you mind e-mailing me your new address? [email protected]
from mrs-roboto :
Hooray, she's back and she's living mere blocks away! Is the produce stand Top Banana? Don't forget Sundays are the Farmers Market on Old Ballard Ave. The veggies are just so great.
from mrs-roboto :
Hooray for last days! Sorry you won't make the drive in but I look forward to having you as my neighbor very soon.
from demoderby :
hahahaha haha. exactly! and it's kind of embarrassing that rick fox is canadian too. so few canadians make it to the nba and he gets to be one of them? unfair i say.
from shadowdress :
It's hard to say how my mom's weirdness influences how I am with Andrew. I think I have a lot more self-awareness and openess than my mom, and that helps me out a bit. But I definitely have learned one humbling thing about it. I, like most people, am not immune to an occassional knee-jerk imitation of some of the most dreaded and annoying qualities of my mother, no matter how many times I've sworn not to be like her. It's pretty crazy to suddenly be accountable for all the crap that can come out of my mouth and how even the smallest act, even a facial expression, can sink into a kid and stay there for years and years. Luckily, some good things pop out automatically, too, and when I realize it, I think, wow, my mom used to say that and make me feel special and now I'm passing it on.
from ceildah :
Hey they had a series of excerpts of Jane's books in the Times here late last year and I was obsessed myself! I would go by the paper each morning and sit on the tube and blush and read about old-people-sex! it was repelling but fastinating at the same time..must get the book...hehehe
from reddirtgirl :
I know--they may not be advanced readers, but they're certainly not reluctant! I think I'll learn a lot from them. I'll definitely check out those books you mentioned; it looks like one of my tasks for the summer is going to be to read a whole bunch of YA Chicana/Latina lit, and make a list of reviews (which I think sounds like a great time).
from rue-madame :
Triumphant hoots all around! Yay for you!
from mrs-roboto :
The Commodore is such a great venue! Have fun.
from demoderby :
hey thanks lady! and ditto x2 back to youuu. and i couldn't agree more about the gym. i wish they had a tv in the cardio room that showed really interesting documentaries all day. ps. is your guestbook broken or is it just my browser?
from arajane :
that kitchenaid stand mixer is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you, i swear! evertime i use mine, i squeal and clap my hands like a little girl, too. it never gets old.
from shadowdress :
i was just thinking about the gym when i read this--the staring ahead, trying not to watch the seconds tick. at my gym all the machines are in a row that face a TV. we are like a strange pack of animals, gazing upward and open-mouthed, running and climbing and never getting anywhere!
from the-ordinary :
i somehow missed your visa entry and then while i was reading today's i was kind of puzzled as to why you didn't say anything about it. so, please accept my belated congratulations!
from reddirtgirl :
Mrs-Roboto sent me to your diary, and I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you how much I like it. And congratulations on the Visa!
from ceildah :
Happiness is a Visa! On behalf of myself and the rest of New Zealand, we wish you all the very best...:)
from arajane :
oh, congratulations! seattle will welcome you with open arms!
from shadowdress :
whoo-HOOOOOO!!!!!!
from mrs-roboto :
Hooray! I am pleased as punch for you! And uh brie and blue cheese - yum!!!
from mrs-roboto :
I'll definitely keep my fingers crossed for you on Monday. If there are any multiple choice questions and you don't know the answer always go with "C."
from myra-lee :
Awww! That's so darn cute of your brother to try to surprise you! Yay for him! Although, I really hate having to pretend to be surprised, too.
from shadowdress :
I think you deserve to sleep in and forget to do things. Instead you will probably write 5 books, read 500, start another business and make gourmet meals everyday. No--it was not the new ANTM, as you've probably heard by now (sorry--I never get a note that someone has signed my guestbook anymore but I guess I shouldn't complain since yours doesn't seem to work at all)--it was just a recap. But it was just the trick to cure me of my grumpiness and I do feel better! I can't believe you're moving so soon. I know you will be so happy to have your favorite pair of arms around you every night. I still love it and I've never had to do without!
from mrs-roboto :
Wow! Almost moving day already?!! How long are you staying before you head off to Portland?
from rue-madame :
You HAVE to ask her! This is a tremendous opportunity, and you mustn't pass it up! I know you can do it. Hell, all of your readers know you can. Hop to it!
from myra-lee :
Young and Sexy is playing in my part of the world next Tuesday! If only I could make myself stop studying for the LSAT for two seconds...I really wanna see them.
from ceildah :
There is no harm in asking. She sounds like a good lady and Im sure she wouldnt mind passing on your work. You met her being a volunteer and helping people so she knows your not a bludger etc...good luck
from theshivers :
i definitely don't think it would hurt to ask - you already have a good relationship w/ her and it sounds like she's rooting for you. Thanks, by the way, for the author recommendation - I appreciate it!
from myra-lee :
Re: the moral dilemma, I would definitely do it. And I can totally relate to feeling uncomfortable about it. The reason I can now say I would definitely do it is because I've let a lot of great opportunities pass me by because I didn't want to foist myself on people. For example, I could've sang on the soudntrack for that Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks! OK, that's a weird example, but it's the one that just popped into my head. Actually, it sounds like your former boss would be really happy to help you out. Good luck, lady!
from theshivers :
i'm so glad you read both of those books! I'm looking for some summer reads now that I get to read stuff other than Stein - is there anything in particular that you strongly recommend?
from myra-lee :
I wanted to play that 23rd entry/5th sentence game, too. But my sentence was "I'd RSVPed." There's just nothing to say about that, other than I should experiment with longer sentences, I guess. I've been meaning to read "Wonder When You'll Miss Me" for a long time now. I'm glad you recommend it! Have a lovely weekend, Miss K!
from the-ordinary :
thank you so much for the offer of mail! i will send you my address directly after i leave this note (but i thought i should warn you, because sometimes when i start deleting junk email and i get really into it and delete things that aren't spam, and i worry that other people do the same thing).
from ceildah :
Hang in there! You will be a free, fresh peach before you know it.
from mrs-roboto :
Of course you didn't offend me. Everybody's entitled to an opinion and much of what you say is true. And some part of my going was just total nostalgia (and I do go to see No 13 Baby, the Pixies cover band, all the time - I am certainly a little lame). What struck me as funny was just how many 18 and 19 year olds there were at this show. Hello, you were what, 7 the last time the pixies played? Why would this be of interest to you?
from the-ordinary :
i'm glad i'm not the only one with that attitude towards the pixies reunion. i was beginning to think that i was the only person left who wasn't paying 50 dollars for a ticket and then driving 500 miles, "because, dood, it's the pixies. THE PIXIES." i'll stick to seeing bands that have released albums in the last 10 years and that play in venues small enough that i can actually see them, thanks.
from myra-lee :
Yay! You're finally going to have access to that darn parcel! I was in such a hurry to get it shipped. But if I'd known the border guards were going to hoard it for weeks, I would've taken a little more time and thrown in some treats! I keep meaning to stop by say that the Gerda trip (the Gerda tapes) sounds so dreamy. It's so inspiring to hear about it. Her story (and how you found out about it) really blows me away. And thank you for your condolences on the child care/work camp conditions of my ridiculous job. The LSAT thing is kind of just to see how I do...if I do well on the test, I'll be applying to law school for FALL OF 2005, which is practically a light year from now. But, assuming I do score well and do get into a good law school (UCLA, fingers crossed), I would like to study intellectual property and artists' rights. I could list out some boring reasons why I want to do this...desperately needing a challenge, wanting to do something that actually matters (rather than being on the production end of making more crap to clutter the shelves of Middle America), blah blah. To be perfectly honest, I'm not 100% sure it's the right path...I've started a couple of d-land entries about it, but realized I was getting way ahead of myself. For now, I'm just going to take the test and see how I do. Sorry to have blathered on and on here!
from demoderby :
jeez, even if he had just said he couldn't afford it, it would have been better. brothers can be such asses!
from myra-lee :
Good luck with Gerda. It's just so cool that you're doing this. I'll be sure to put in a good word with Ira this Saturday...you know, at the after-party, over drinks.
from shadowdress :
mucho congrats to you! hearing you talk about your wedding reminds me so much of that fearful/exciting time in my life--it makes me wish i could do it again!
from mrs-roboto :
Oh will I soon be able to get Kayemess Pickles at the Fremont Sunday Market? Hey we need an update on what's happening with This American Life!
from ceildah :
awesome news - you are on a roll!
from theshivers :
wow, that is an odd story - very strange indeed...like something out of a book
from shadowdress :
not to further freak you out but that's totally creepy!
from shadowdress :
Believe it or not, I'm reading War and Peace. I loved Anna Karenina and have been wanting to conquer this one for some time. Andrew actually picked it up, his interest piqued by the battle scene on the cover. After reading a few pages he said, "This seems like the kind of book that makse you want to skip to the juicy parts." That cracked me up.
from shadowdress :
i'm happy you are posting a list of what you read--do the little stars mean you liked it? also--i will absolutely pee if i hear Gerda and Olcott's story on This American Life--that would be so awesome!
from myra-lee :
Yay for you! That's such GREAT news about This American Life and Gerda and Olcott! I'm ridiculously excited for you. And guess what?! Given my year of empty promises to mail a parcel, you will probably not believe this, but I actually mailed a package to Jeannette with some stuff in it for you. AND the package contains a tape of ANTM, complete with the debauchery and breakdown of Shanthrax. I just hope it makes it to you guys before the show is over!
from ceildah :
Hey thanks for your note! I lived in a flat on Oriental Parade before I left - so nice isn't it. They have actually just shipped in a whole lot of golden sand from the south island and created a gorgeous beach down there!? Yeah I'll definitely go back though not for a few years. I think I'll have a go at living in Melbourne next. After reading so many Vancouverites for so long I am absolutely checking out that town! It sounds v cool. Have a good weekend:)
from ceildah :
That is so cool about your doco! You are quite an inspiriation!
from mrs-roboto :
I will be at the Sunday show!
from mrs-roboto :
It's nice to have a little take this job and shove it moment every now and again. Just think how close you are to the end working there? That's got to make you smile.
from myra-lee :
Yippeeee for you! What a glorious story! Congratulations x1000! And I'm so glad your diary was resurrected. I'm codependent.
from jetbot :
i can't see yer diary either. booooooo!
from mrs-roboto :
K, I can't access your diary - this makes me sad!
from theshivers :
erg, the guestbook won't let me sign...what i've been trying to say is that I'd *love* to do a cookie exchange w/ you in December...and thank you very much for the good wishes....x0x0~S
from snideblonde :
I need knitting help, Kayemess. Will you help me, please?
from smellofskunk :
wow. thank you. your kind of random generosity is overwhelming. you rock face.
from myra-lee :
Hi there. I've been reading your diary for quite a while (at least a whole month), and I really love it. I love your recent entry about the criticizers of the land. I think your right on. I - myself - am a den of contradictions, and I know it. But it's not going to help me or anyone else for me to tear apart the words of strangers. I love your writing, and I especially love what you wrote about loneliness. I couldn't agree more.
from mel-ilsa :
Hey Thanks!! Actually on Bust I am ilsashewolf. It's so nice to know that SOMEBODY is reading this thing-- you Bust ladies are the best.
from girlthepunk :
want to join my nick drake ring? :)

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