DiaryLand members area

11.7.19. Hi. I cried when I watched my neighbor to the South cut down 8 beautiful live trees. Being a human doesn't give us the right to do this. I am still upset at times when I look and see the missing trees that were bird and critter homes. So get upset. I feel that everything in Nature has a soul. They say trees have souls, so do flowers then. I say, maybe you should have given them more hell. I don't care what other people think, I get emotional because that is what I do. I feel. So be yourself and do it for Nature and YOU. Take Care. Peace. =^..^=

from catsoul :

9/14/19. Read about being unsure of sharing something personal about your mom. Just remember you are you, and your mom, is who she is. Some mom's make poor choices for many reasons and try to cope. It is a.o.k. to share. Never ever regret sharing. Peace. =^..^=

from ubermeister :

Good morning, it's been many a long whiles. Randomly woke up with an urge to update, so here I am. Little bit annoying, the waking up bit, as I work nights, so now I'm awake but not at work untill 20:00hrs. Oh well. Love to you and yours.

from echoman :

That's how I feel about myself and my posts here. I come here to let out things I feel like I can't say otherwise. But on balance, I like who I've worked to become. I'm not done growing - never will be - but I like me. It's very important to acknowledge that, and I'm glad to see you are.

from hangover :

I was about to say "well maybe it has been 18 years". But no, I was in an audio lab, my first audio electronics building, 1997. Twenty gol'darn years. Where did it go? It went THAT away.

from hangover :

It could be worse. You could have some bastard from nearly two decades ago leave a note in your antiquated social media blog. Fortunately things like that rarely happen.

from n-poledancer :

Wishing your family a super light speed recovery. Chances are this will turn into nothing but a bad memory.

from n-poledancer :

I just found your note now! I dont know when you left it. Must be using an outdated email addy for the site so I didnt get the notice. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are doing wonderfully, I see family photos on FB - G is so big now!

from dangerspouse :

Just for the record: hooray!

from n-poledancer :

Im so sorry for your loss. I have had these years that I said goodbye to like that. I had many of those for a while and now that Ive been experiencing something very different I feel confident in telling you that its just temporary. But that doesnt change the loss and again Im really sorry to hear this.

from hangover :

How odd. I was thinking about you yesterday. I was making a video for the song "Jelly Time" and I recalled in my head how you witnessed a tragedy in the tube while listening to that track. You're writing again? I cannot believe your daughter is already two years old.

from unicorn666 :

please make sure you tell le bebe that she will lose her teeth when she is about six or seven. please make sure you tell her well before that in case she starts to lose them earlier. i was four when i started losing mine and my mom hand never told me i would lose them. it scared the shit out of me and continues to be one of my greatest fears.

from ebombmom :

My other advice would be to go to the LLLI website and find a LLL leader in your area, if there are any. Or, a properly accredited LC (look for IBCLC credentials). Heck, email my friend Diana (dianaATmommassecretsDOTcom) and see if she can help - she rocks! I'm praying for you...

from ebombmom :

I may have missed it, but have you had help from a lactation specialist at all? Is her latch too shallow? It's difficult to give advice one-sided, on the internet ;) but I would love to help. Taking days off and still pumping is good, but will not be good for your supply (pumps don't do the jobs of babies as well, unfortch). Can you get some of Newman's all purpose nipple ointment?

from elliestuff :

yeah, on the breastfeeding..that's an accomplishment. i wouldn't even have the strength to type.

from ebombmom :

Hm, gulping from your letdown or from bottle... or both? I have advice but don't want to dump it on you ;) www.kellymom.com is a great resource also...

from ebombmom :

I didn't realise you had an Ian, too! :) I'm rooting for you; hope today is going better. You can also try breast shields while you heal...

from themoodswing :

I did have problems switching to and from boob and bottle initially because the teats on the bottles in hospital were crap. it was a totally unnatural shape and the babe wouldnt feed from me properly for a few days because the bottle was just easier. but as soon as i was home and got her onto some good bottles she didn't have a problem. the bottles i use are Tommee Tippee 'Close to Nature' bottles and teats - http://www.tommeetippee.com.au/products.asp?pk=1&seq=1. They're a wide-neck bottle so the teat is wide and mimics the shape of the breast, the bottle itself is more comfortable to hold, and there's plenty of room to tip the formula scoop into the bottle. the narrow-neck bottles are awful for that. the breastpump in this range is good too if you want to try expressing. hope that helps! x

from n-poledancer :

Left you an explanation on my blog of what exactly this thing with Japan is. And want to say again how gorgeous baby G is! Absolutely stunning!

from ebombmom :

Uhm, after seeing waaay too many section complications, I implore you to ignore the advice below and listen to the recommendations! Geesh. Take it easy, it's worth it. :) As for the breastfeeding, sorry it's not going smoothly. I hope you can get it all sorted out. Pumping while you heal is a good thing for the short term; getting good advice on correcting latch is the ultimate goal. Best of luck!!!

from themoodswing :

it can take a while for bubs to get the hang of feeding, whether with the boob or bottle. my babe would attach and feed fine and then 5 minutes later stop sucking and start crying, almost like she'd suddenly forgotten how to keep doing it. it's a big myth that babies instinctively know how to feed. and sometimes they can feed for an hour but not get enough milk to fill them up, which also happened to me. i ended up breastfeeding for half an hour or so and then giving a bottle of formula to fill her up, which was perfect for making my partner get up for nighttime feeds :P

from themoodswing :

so you ended up having a c-section? hurray for belly scars! it's ironic all the stuff docs say you can and can't do afterwards. "no driving for 6 weeks." Pfft, i was driving after 6 days. "No heavy lifting." Who else is going to hang out that big basket of washing?? But I'm particularly stubborn - if someone tells me not to do something i make a point to do it. my one big piece of advice is to take the pain pills if you need them. don't put up with any pain because it doesn't feel 'bad' enough to take something. it just makes life a whole lot easier if you can do everything you need to without being in pain as well. If you need any help or advice I'm here :)

from themoodswing :

Congratulations Mummy! Geogia is a beautiful name (I considered it for my bub!). I'm glad you're both doing well. I'd love to hear all about the birth, but make sure you get lots of rest and start feeling 'normal' again before you do much else. The first few weeks are exhausting, but keep in mind that it gets better and before you know it you'll both be sleeping through the night :)

from princesscee :

I've been a lurker for the past few weeks, but I just have to say Congratulations! Hope both you and baby are doing awesome!

from ebombmom :

Whoa! Welcome to baby Georgia (love the name!) and happy babymooning to you and the CG. :) Can't wait to read your birth story! Congrats!!!

from themoodswing :

I hate bra shopping. I was going to get fitted when I was pregnant but ended up finding some in a store marked down cheap that didn't fit too badly, so I figured the fit was the right price. Sadly, I'm still wearing the bras and I stopped breastfeeding 4 months ago. My boy doesn't mind as he has easy access to 'the goods'.

from ebombmom :

Ah, the bra thing. Don't buy too many, because by about 6 weeks or so your breasts may change once the milk supply normalizes. It's happened to me each time, and that's when I went and bought more bras. :) It gets better!

from portlypete :

I wanted to send you a message. To tell you that everything will be fine in the end. What do I know as a guy? Well, I've followed a few pregnancies in my time, and I know that (and this isn't a 'maybe' or a 'possibly') that this sprog will drag you through hell, and when it's done that, it will drag you back again. Get used to it. This is the rest of your life. The team looking after you and your new friend, are highly trained professionals who take it personally if anything goes wrong. Babies are tough cookies: survival is what they do. The traumas you go through now will help create a bond with your child that us men can only envy. I realise all this will sound trite, and I hesitate to send it, but I'd rather put money on a happy outcome to all this than on the Grand National winner.

from unicorn666 :

oh my goodness. that's so scary for you. i'm thinking of you and keep feeling so excited for you. everything will be okay.

from ebombmom :

Wow! What an ordeal. I'm sorry you had such stress (and of course, for the couple as well - SO glad mum and baby are OK)! Big hugs to you...

from themoodswing :

Woah, sounds like you had a very hard night. I'm sure the mum and her bubba will be fine - babies are so well cushioned in their sacks that they can handle most things without a problem. the surgeons would have had the bub out in no time and sussed the problem with mum pretty quick. i had an appendectomy when i was 12 weeks pregnant, and while that's nothing compared to what this poor woman has suffered, i have so much faith in doctors that have to operate on pregnant women that i know they would have had the best people working on her and would have known exactly what they were doing. Chin up, the stress isnt good for you :)

from n-poledancer :

Thanks Sarah!! :)

from themoodswing :

I would have loved if a doctor mentioned the c-word while I was pregnant. I had to fight to get an elective c-section and i dont regret it one bit. take the easy way out and join the Belly Scar Club :)

from melindabean :

You will know what to do! And when you need help, well, those will probably be the times when you're the most grateful for being back in the same country as family/friends. Oh, and I don't even know how to drive, so if you want to talk lame-assedness... :~)

from unicorn666 :

i'm jealous of you moving to the country. i think you should do the nursery in yellow if it's a girl.

from ebombmom :

I'm so happy for you! Glad all went well. Yay, girlie!

from ebombmom :

My brother visited Prague on his honeymoon; I fell in love with it through his photos. Lucky you! :)

from unicorn666 :

30DD?! you have giant boobs!!!

from unicorn666 :

how are you doing?

from n-poledancer :

Happy belated birthday. Hope you're feeling better.

from ebombmom :

Happy Birthday! Wonderful that you are remaining positive. I am thinking of you constantly! Pains... I assume, crampy? Front and/or back? I've had TONS of painful cramping with all my pregnancies, so it can be 'normal'... I highly recommend Elizabeth Burch's book "Natural Healing for the Pregnant Woman", she lists homeopathics (and more) for pretty much every pregnancy symptom or worry. As they say on the forums, "sticky baby vibes!"

from ebombmom :

Oh yes, I had a hard time believing until I heard the heartbeat at the midwife's office. Everyone was bewildered at me saying I *finally* believed it, despite having been ill for weeks and weeks already! Even then, I almost wondered if they were playing a fake video when I saw the baby on ultrasound... Also, yes the cramping is likely a very good sign, in the absence of anything else - stretch, uterus, stretch! :)

from ebombmom :

Wahoo! :)

from melindabean :

I'm hoping for you, Sarah!!

from n-poledancer :

Isn't it funny how everything always happens at the same time, and never exactly the way you planned/expected..? Big big hugs.

from ebombmom :

Well of course it would happen now! :) Just when your mind is occupied on all the other big things, y'know. I'll be praying for you in hopes of a "BFP" in the morning! as they say on the mama forums (big fat positive, d'oh)

from n-poledancer :

Yeah I think I actually will. The logistics of it overwhelm me though, all the things that have to be taken care of. But I want to more and more. I feel like Im missing out on too many things and I just miss my people.

from melindabean :

YAY YAY YAY! I know all about waiting for the negotiations to be over with. :~) Tell the cg "Well done".

from unicorn666 :

i moved almost two months ago and still haven't sent out a formal email with the new address and email address.

from n-poledancer :

Grizzly bears... Wolfs... Where do you go on your vacations? Sounds kinda dangerous to me. I'm off to bear territory soon too but they're only black bears and they only want your food, not you as their food.

from melindabean :

And where is your next adventure taking place?

from ebombmom :

flickr: virtualteacup :)

from melindabean :

I can't wait to hear where you'll end up living once you move back to England. We'll be in Paris by then, but whenever we move again, it will almost definitely be back to London! ~M

from meli-melo :

That is awesome! I'm really happy for you and the cg. http://meli-mello.livejournal.com/

from ebombmom :

Wow! Congrats, that is wonderful! :)

from n-poledancer :

Already? WOW! Congrats!! You must be really excited. UK is waiting!!!

from melindabean :

Bath? I've been longing to go back there! Does this mean I'll have even more of a reason to? Hey, you'll be welcome to visit us anytime... :~)

from ebombmom :

I feel you, there. I'm rarely hit with pangs when I'm at a birth (hm) but when I think about what stage I *should* be at right now, it's really really hard. ((hugs))

from n-poledancer :

Definitely. I will be reading and I will stay in touch. Who knows if I open npole again or something else. For now this is the right thing to do. I'll still be here. I just wont be posting for a while.

from bevanandjen :

fingers crossed for you two

from melindabean :

"Serves you right", my arse! So I guess that having a baby when you don't really want to and risking having horrible resentful feelings towards it is the better option? Of course not! You were very strong in your feelings about not having children, which did not a good mother make. Your feelings have changed, which is great! Definitely not hopeless--you can still have lots of fat little babies (you should see the articles in the papers here about women far older than you popping them out), and adoption is also a beautiful way to have a family. Things don't always work out as you expect, but you can achieve this. Come on, Sarah--you know your biggest problem is really deciding if you want your children to grow up saying "eh?" all the time, or "innit?". :~) ~M

from n-poledancer :

Hey you - just a quick note to tell you I got your email and I'll write you back in a couple days when I can breathe again (Im so overworked and stressed its actually making me nauseus). On topic - I joined weightwatchers last week and lost 4 lbs just the first week! And also - thats really good news to hear you guys are trying again.

from n-poledancer :

Thats what I always say. People really suck! How are you anyway?

from ebombmom :

Well I'm sending you some fertility vibes and prayers, then. :) As far as I know, there is no need to wait to try again, unless you want one cycle to go by beforehand, so that you can have your dates reasonably pinned down when you do conceive. Not necessary, though. There are some vitamin, herbal and homeopathic things you can look into, to help things along and possibly prevent loss, if interested.

from ebombmom :

When I was at a birth last week, I was determined to get pregnant again the minute I got home. :) I'm still very torn. One day I think one more, or even two more! And the next I think the ship has passed and I'm either not meant to do it, and need to focus on my two and my doula work instead, or that I shouldn't risk going through another loss. I think what will really happen is that we will wait until the fall, then consider trying again. What are your plans?

from ebombmom :

Yes, making plans is good! It definitely helps. Had myself a little cry just the other night, too. My bro lives in Orpington; is that considered too close to London? They really like the area....

from bevanandjen :

Hold onto the goal. It will help make the hurt go away.

from melindabean :

I am so glad to hear this. And "London on Sea" made me laugh. :~)

from n-poledancer :

Its totally ok, I knew you would get back to me when you were ready. I agree with a lot in common. Lets just get through this NYE and NYD and have faith that next year will bring us good things and fulfilled wishes of many kinds. I hope you and the CG can have a good time tonight and tomorrow and are able to get some time away from grieving. Big big hugs!

from ebombmom :

Wish it could be different. Saw the post and yes I do know, at least to some extent. My email is always open, if desired.

from trulypoetic :

My heart breaks for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened. I'm thinking good thoughts for you both.

from ebombmom :

I'm thinking of you constantly. It will get better, but don't rush it. You are entitled to feel it all, as you need to. {hugs}

from mittensgirl :

not gone, just restarting.

from luv2garden :

I am so sorry for your loss. hugs!

from nycme :

I'm so sorry. {{hugs}}

from arthursmummy :

Oh I'm so sorry! How horribly heart-breaking for you. I got your link from Michelle's diary, and I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss :(

from simplify :

I'm very sorry for your loss.

from ebombmom :

Oh, I am so, so sad to read that news. My heart goes out to you! Take good, gentle care of yourselves. And, well, you know I have recent experience with the same, so if you ever want to talk... ((hugs))

from meli-melo :

I'm so SO sorry. I don't know what else can be said.

from junglebetti :

I wish I could say/type something - anything that would make feel better than you do right now. ((Hugs)) to you.

from melindabean :

Sarah, I am so, so sorry.

from melindabean :

I'm sure everything will be FINE and if you do actually have twins after so many years of saying you don't want kids, I'm going to laugh and LAUGH. :~) ~M

from melindabean :

I can hardly believe all of this is going on inside you, either! Remember the days of "no babies for me"? I'm so happy for you--you make me wanna be preggers! :~) ~M

from ebombmom :

The question is: what course of action would you take re: amnio results? If nothing, then why risk the procedure? The odds of their being a worrisome indicator are about even (or sometimes slightly less!) than the odds it can cause a miscarriage. Research also what it can test for and what the actual reliability is, of those results. Base your decisions on fact-based research, be fully informed. I'm not saying don't get one, because I don't know what your choices would be, but don't go with the status quo that says you 'need' one just because you're 36.

from n-poledancer :

Wow! Thats a really long drive for just 6 hrs!

from n-poledancer :

When are you gonna tell? And then a piece of completely and annoyingly unsolicited advice: While I do think parenting books are very often just a bunch of bs (had to read a couple in my nanny days) I would get a book on sleep training when the time comes or else your life could easily turn into a complete nightmare. Then theres a good book out there about what the little ones are going through at each stage and age, not so much to tell you what to do but what to expect in terms of behavior etc. This one plus sleep training were the ones I didnt regret reading but then again, it was work related at the time so I wasnt really THAT much into it...

from mittensgirl :

welcome to being pregnant!

from robspaceman :

just checked in after a while out: well done and hope it goes smoothly. i felt my nephew-to-be kick in my sister's tummy the other day and i felt special not even being the father or mother, so i'm guessing what you're experiencing must be million times that.

from melindabean :

I'm sure all of this will get easier once you feel like you're able to tell people...then the horror stories start. :~) But that might help (some of the time) with learning what other weird stuff people go through when they're preggers! ~M

from ebombmom :

Hey... It's hard not to stress, I totally understand. Listen, you need to find yourself a midwife if you can; the level of care is far superior and you get lots of attention. Also, consider hiring a doula for this support you need; I actually am one (though far from you) and if you ever need to talk, please do contact me! I can do email, or phone, if you need to. ((hugs))

from junglebetti :

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm very very happy for you, I know you've been waiting for and working at this for a long time. Wishing you the best, Betti

from melindabean :

To the CG: Congratulations! Well done, mate. To Sarah: Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and glad that all that sex was worth it in the end. :~) I'm also glad that you acknowledged in your post the whole waiting-to-tell-people-in-case-something-goes-wrong thing... It's true that you never know what will happen, but what's also important is that you enjoy this exciting (despite lack of symptoms) time, take care of yourself, and have fun choosing names! Perhaps this will be a Yorkshire lass or lad after all...? ~M

from meli-melo :

Yay! I am so happy for you - I've always thought you sounded like such a cool person so I am positive you will make a cool Mum!

from ebombmom :

Congratulations! How wonderful! :)

from mittensgirl :

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from ebombmom :

Sorry you're sad; I know how disheartening that feeling is. Also, please (pretty please?) go see a chiropractor! ;)

from n-poledancer :

I TOTALLY remember this!

from hangover :

Suburbs breed bored preteens who experiment with mind altering substances out of boredom. Later they'll save their after school work money to purchase noisemakers so they can create subordinary rock n' roll bands

from ebombmom :

Hi! I'm reading you now through diaryofaloser. :) And I wanted to recommend you see a chiropractor, if you don't already. Very helpful and important for pregnancy. I'm hoping you get a positive test, soon, too. :)

from melindabean :

Do you realize how interesting a story "rings" is? I seem to be seeing ideas for plays everywhere lately... :~) ~M

from mittensgirl :

i find massages very painful, too. i think it's a sensitivity problem that many people just don't understand.

from bevanandjen :

I didn't know it was your birthday! Happy birthday to you! Let's get together. I will drop you a note and we can check our schedules.

from n-poledancer :

Thats weird but youre right. I just checked the ikea uk site and everything is dirt cheap and habitat is much more expensive. But when I was growing up habitat was only as much as twice as expensive as ikea and that was still affordable. Anyway, I dont know if they have it in Canada but i guess the US equivalent would be crate and barrell which I have a love-hate relationship with and their furniture is not really affordable for someone like me. And in comparison habitat is less "designed" and more personal-touch if you ask me. Anyway - craigslist way surpasses any of these for me ;) But not when it comes to bedding.

from n-poledancer :

from mittensgirl :

are you really moving home? i'm so excited for you. i wish i could move home.

from n-poledancer :

Awesome! It was about time someone did this and I wish they had come up with this when I was a nanny - I cant tell you how many times I wanted to shoot the car stereo with Laurie Berkner blasting. My favorite family I worked for just skipped the childrens music and went straight to The Clash...

from robspaceman :

wow, be careful. the only scary thing in scotland is the loch ness monster and that's just a silly story anyway.

from n-poledancer :

oops plumbing ;)

from n-poledancer :

Something happened with the plumming once at the old place. This was before I moved in with C. They had to remove all the aqua blue tiles around the shower pipes. They took a break during which C carefully piled up all the 20 something tiles they removed and put them neatly NEXT to the bathtub. When C comes back from work the guys had already installed tiles - BRIGHT WHITE. They were still there and he asked "why didnt you put in the original tiles?" and they just shrugged and said "the management gave us these so we just put them in". The whole time I lived there we had a huge spot of white tiles around the faucet/shower area. Some people just really dont get it. Finding a good contractor is like dating - when you find a good one you should never let him go and it takes years. I hope you go and have that glass of wine you have been looking forward to.

from n-poledancer :

But youre still going to do the test right? Obviously something is going on so that could be taken as a good sign.

from meli-melo :

When I moved back to Calgary I thought it would be temporary until I figured out where I wanted to go (which, at the time was anywhere but here). Only my sister lived here with her family then too. Now my parents have moved back from Scotland, my brother and his wife have moved back from Houston and my sister has moved to the other side of the country. Sometimes, I hate this modern world we live in because people are too spread out. I suspect the Mister and I won't leave now because we are so estabilshed and it is nice to have family so close - even when they drive you nuts.

from bevanandjen :

I love love love the patio table and chairs. Where did you get them?

from n-poledancer :

When is it time for another test?

from mittensgirl :

maybe that's just the way you are.

from meli-melo :

I hate eating in restaurants all the time so I understand just how happy you must have been with your penne chicken last night. I hope things start getting better soon - nobody could blame you for being as stressed out as you are right now!

from bevanandjen :

i hope all this rfeno shit just goes away and that the two of you can get down to more babymaking! hang in there.

from mittensgirl :

when students ask me about college, i often tell them to major in whatever interests them whether they think they'd want to have a career in it or not that way they'll have decent grades. it's becoming more and more important to have a master's these days, so i find that usually, by the time people are done with their bachelor's, they have finally figured out what they want to do.

from n-poledancer :

I couldnt agree with you more! I think everyone should spend their early 20's trying out different jobs and things. Then come back to school and enjoy it and really do their best. I dropped out of school and then went back a few years later. I cant even compare the difference - I loved it the second time around.

from n-poledancer :

Thanks - I really cant hear it too often. Its always as nice.

from robspaceman :

thanks. i have no idea who you are, but thanks. hopefully it'll all blow over.... anyway bon chance with the baby-making. my sister who's 33 just got pregnant after a year of trying.

from meli-melo :

I feel the same way you do - I used to think I would adopt all the unloved children and be some sort of mother to all. But now that I have found my Mister I want to have a baby that is both of us - I'm just so curious as to what that kid would be like. *melanie http://meli-mello.livejournal.com/

from melindabean :

York IS beautiful, and the whole close-to-the-train-which-is-close-to-work-and-affordable-house entry makes me think you may have found a winner. Question: Would you still be happy with your decision even if you didn't get pregnant? You've probably already thought of this, but, you know...covering all the bases and that. And, as you also probably already know, I am all for adoption. Kids need love. You want to give them love. It doesn't really matter whose womb they popped out of, or if they have the right number of chromosomes or whatever. It's all about the love. End of story. :~)

from explodingboy :

Dear Mindflufff. Re: Saturday Night Fever (aka Stage 3 - I'm seriously ready) I had thought from your newish background pic that you were seriously ready already. :-) eb

from n-poledancer :

I think reason number 5 should be number 1!!!

from melindabean :

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=392260&in_page_id=1879

from mittensgirl :

all this time i'd thought you were an administrative assistant at some hoity-toity law office.

from n-poledancer :

Thanks so much Sarah. Its been too hard to write lately but I will soon I promise. I havent forgotten the letter I promised you.

from bevanandjen :

Hey! I was reading your diary!

from melindabean :

I have always hated sports and thought they were the stupidest thing ever. This is most likely because I can't play them. However, I have actually watched one game (the last one England played), and suddenly I care! This is the last thing I ever expected! And I just watched today's and I'm actually disappointed that they're out! Where did this attachment come from? I have no idea. All I know is a) No wonder people love Beckham. He is good. b) Rooney is a great player, but someone has to stop acting like a six-year-old pushing other kids down on the playground and check his bloody temper! c) Wow, can Lennon run. And oh my god, is Crouch ever tall and lanky. He's all limbs! This was such a good game; England played really well. Oh, and d) Robinson is an amazing goalie. I think they would have had significantly better chances if Rooney hadn't been such a child and pushed the other player. When Ian was telling me which player was which, he called Rooney a thug, and I guess he was right. I can't believe I wrote such a long message to you...about FOOTBALL!!!

from mindfluff :

i usually support the underdog unless england isn't. ps everyone hates the french.

from mittensgirl :

i was going for ghanan. i always root for the african team. now, of course, i'm going for france.

from mittensgirl :

it's so clean.

from mittensgirl :

do you think it's just a man thing? christian has gone as far as telling me, "that's just how i am and it's caused me problems in other relationships, too." and i just want to be like, "then don't you think it's time to do something about it!?" or "then if this relationship is important to you, you need to do something about it!" why are they like that?

from n-poledancer :

That is really interresting to know. I guess its easy to feel like youre giving up something huge but then in the big picture its really significant and possibly rewarding later on. Please dont ever hesitate to write me, your advice is helping me so much now more than I can describe and I really appreciate it. I already started a new email for you which I will be sending this weekend.

from n-poledancer :

Im crossing all the fingers and toes I can. Thanks for your note. I might just hit you up on the messenger or email you.

from meli-melo :

How about I cross my fingers and toes for you? That way you will have extra. http://meli-mello.livejournal.com/

from bevanandjen :

I grew up as an only child because my brother went to live with my dad and I with mom. I'm pretty normal and okay. But I like having a brother.

from mittensgirl :

for saying something to christian. he's going to the doctor this week. i'm so worried about him. i literally panic when i hear him make the strangest sound. i'm not really the panic-y type.

from melindabean :

Maybe we should swap places for five weeks? I really couldn't care less about the World Cup but if I said that out loud here I might get lynched! Everywhere I go, England flags are poking out from cars and billowing out of people's windows. I only know it's five weeks long because I asked Ian (and I hope I'm remembering that right!). I saw a sign in Tesco for a competition where you write either why you love the World Cup (and you probably win tickets to a game or something--I didn't see that part) or why you hate the World Cup...and the prize for the why-you-hate-it-entry is a bunch of DVDs! I thought that was funny. I wonder if Sainsbury's doing something similar... ~M

from n-poledancer :

Have you read www.Dooce.com yet? Shes my favorite but she doesnt reply to fanmails or comments :( I was a nanny for 4 years. Kids rock, they are so much fun to be around and the best thing about taking care of kids is that when youre done with your 20's and some of your 30's it gets really tiring to deal with your own problems. I loved the opportunity to focus on another person (thats normal to focus on, not like a codependent relationship). To me it was really liberating in many ways. The problem with being a nanny is that the kids arent yours and youre not totally the boss. Im pretty sure having my own kids is going to be about 100 times better.

from bevanandjen :

tell everyone you are doing a cleanse. No caffeine and no booze allowed.

from mittensgirl :

thank you.

from bevanandjen :

I think you two will be the type of parents that are organized methodical, and always have neat and tidy children. Maybe its the accents but I think you guys will do just fine. :) xoxox Do it when you are ready and not a moment before.

from mittensgirl :

it seems like it's a big deal. i don't think it's wrong for you to be scared at all.

from mittensgirl :

i'm sorry i was rude.

from milkyjoe :

We want it, we�ll do it and everything will be great and scary at the same time. Then later we�ll have a coconut three-way.

from mittensgirl :

is it rude of me to say that you don't really seem like either of you wants to have a kid.

from n-poledancer :

Ive been reading your diary for many years now, and from the bottom of my heart I want to congratulate you and the cg on this decision. Im really excited and happy for you. I say full steam forward!!! YAY!!!

from explodingboy :

I enjoyed your entry "I want a pay rise for this" ;-)

from explodingboy :

:-) @ $$$ +

from hangover :

my mom had my little sister at 39, my sister in-law had my nephew when she was 40. They both turned out fantastic. You're still way under the radar as far as they're concerned. P.S. my mother tells my sister in-law that my nephew behaves exactly as I did when I was his age (9 years old now). My sister in-law responds "ohhhh NO!"

from bevanandjen :

WHOA.

from melindabean :

Congratulations! On everything. You have not submitted to the "Oh, you'll be next!" squeals of your workmates, or succumbed to pressure from society/media/whatever the popular enemy is this week by changing your name and deciding on pursuing the baby thing... You've done these things because you went on YOUR journey and because these things feel right to YOU. That is the best! I know both of these changes can really throw one for a loop, to say the least, so I just wanted to say that I'm so happy you've stuck to your own ambitions in life, even if it made you feel like a bit of an outsider at times, because that means these changes have happened when they were supposed to: When it felt right for you. Wow, what a pep talk! :~) Maybe you didn't need to hear all that. But I know how you've felt about these things in the past (ie: babies, etc), and thought you might want to know that someone thinks you've done everything exactly right! ~M

from bevanandjen :

To what? Now I have to go and update my address book! This is exciting!

from melindabean :

Holy shlamoly! I'm a bit of a lame-o when it comes to "drunken fun", but will I see you while you're here anyway? And will you be in London on May 27th? (My musical is on that night...blatent plug!) Have a great trip! ~M

from mittensgirl :

i've been feeling slimmer lately, too. somehow, i've managed to loose two and a half pounds sitting on my ass and eating carmel popcorn.

from bevanandjen :

My cousins send me lots of jelly babies every few months because I am such a sucker for those things (along with a whole assortment of british sweets) and she does the exact same thing! Too funny.

from melindabean :

I really couldn't stand the whole Riley thing (among other reasons: military...BORing!) but I remember the moment you mentioned with them breaking out the snacks behind him and smiled! Also...we have been watching Firefly, and I'm trying so hard to get into it, but it just isn't Buffy. And the whole Summer = Fred (Angel) thing is annoying. Hmm, skinny-long-brown-hair-must-be-saved-from-the-otherwordly-place-she-was-stuck-in-where-bad-things-happened: Where have we seen this before? :~) ~M PS: I got a little crazy over home furnishing-type stuff when we moved in, too!

from melindabean :

I recently realized something: Every time I check your diary and it's been updated, I hope that you have news on the to-move-or-not-to-move situation. It's been very exciting, as I click on the word "diary" and wait the one or two seconds it takes for your page to come up: Will she announce that she's moving back to Blighty? Will she announce that Canada is where it's at? What will she do? What will she do? You've said before that sometimes your life doesn't feel very interesting, but apparently I think it's a soap opera! :~) Hope everything's going well. ~M

from n-poledancer :

Thats really cool, maybe you will be transfered to the UK after all! I dont know what we are doing, things are still up in the air. FW's career has really taken off and I guess he feels like he wouldnt get the same opportunities elsewhere. He is also thinking of starting his own business which his dad wants to invest in. This sounds like something that will make it a lot harder for us to leave. I am so unhappy in this city though, I dont really know what to do about it. Other than completely focusing on work and then it doesnt really matter where you are. I feel as unhappy here as I felt in Iceland 10 years ago when I left. Maybe I just have to move to a new country every 10 years!?!

from n-poledancer :

Hey you! Thanks for the support, I agree about the job vs happiness thing. Too bad money is needed for happiness also but in this case the money wasnt enough to provide any joy anyway ;) What are your plans? Im always so curious when I read your diary - are you moving?

from melindabean :

Me me me me! I am a Whedon fan! (Though I still have not seen Firefly or Serenity, and sometimes WISH I hadn't seen the last season of Angel. Ugh.) What a great idea! But as much as I'd love to bounce around your flat and everything, I don't think I can justify the plane ticket. Guess you'll just have to have a Buffy night HERE...?! ~M

from bevanandjen :

Aren't you back yet?

from melindabean :

I hear you. How do you think we ended up here? ~M

from bevanandjen :

I love the new little critter you have as your background.

from n-poledancer :

Hey you! You guys are really doing it?!?! Thats amazing and Im jealous! Topshop and H&M is worth moving to UK not to mention the wonderful people. Why sell the electronics? Just get a converter, theyre cheap ;) In my side of the Universe: I started a new job in December and it is very stressful, too much responsibility and not enough $. Me and FW are still unhappy at work, both of us. I need a big fat change similar to the one youre doing.

from bevanandjen :

I'd have to agree that you have very nice stuff. Why don't you hold a combo going away party/ garage sale and we can all buy your stuff while we are crying about you leaving?

from melindabean :

Can one of you get a transfer? I guess that depends on how large the company you work for is. Then the company can foot the bill to move your stuff! :~) That said, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would looove to give your nice stuff a new home for a price somewhat below what they would pay for it in a shop. Craigslist? Ad in the newspaper? Posh "garage" sale? I don't know. ~M

from explodingboy :

i like breathing, breathing is super.

from n-poledancer :

Im here and Im alive. Im working more than ever - took a job working for the man. Things are generally good though. Its nice hearing from you - what are you up to?

from bevanandjen :

But the big question is: What did you end up wearing?

from melindabean :

I saw a play called Otherwise Engaged which had Anthony Head in it, and he was great! (And of course I thought of you.) We are settling in okay; lots of ridiculousness with the landlord, which caused us to move in only a few days before we had guests staying with us for 2 weeks. Very hectic, especially since this all happened around the holidays, and we (by which I mean, me) are still organizing things in the house. We live in Hammersmith, just off of Shepherd's Bush Road, between both of those tube stations. Where did you live when you lived in London? ~M

from melindabean :

Hey, Sarah, Tony Head says hi. ~Melinda

from bevanandjen :

Welcome to Canada! Where's your touque and Sears Catalog?

from bevanandjen :

I am so glad to hear you like where you are now. I always thought it was fabulous but you live there so its more important that you are happy in your spot.

from melindabean :

Yes, I'm realizing that referring to the end of December as "the holidays" doesn't flow here quite the same way as it did in Canada. But all December 25 has ever meant for me, until I met Ian and we started going to his parents' house to celebrate, was a day where nothing was open and nobody was around to do anything with. And I have been wished "Merry Christmas" my whole life by plenty of people who've known full well I am Jewish, and it does get annoying. You do have a point about just smiling and accepting it (like when someone compliments you), but there seems to be a large number of people who just cover the whole thing with "Merry Christmas" and don't really take in that that means nothing to you. Okay, rant over. Besides, if you really bear in mind when you're talking to someone that they celebrate a different holiday, and you actually do bother to wish them a happy [insert their holiday here], then I commend you! It's the people that couldn't be bothered who get on my nerves. And after all the X-mas cards I've received over the years from people who have heard me do my explanation-of-Hannukah-in-thirty-seconds routine, I'm ready to start sending out cards with menorahs on them just so people can see how it feels! Okay, NOW rant over. :~) ~M

from n-poledancer :

Hey you its nice to hear from you. I am running out the door but Im gonna try to find you on messenger later.

from where-ocar :

i've had that type of dream. i've never been able to articulate the feelings i have after those dreams, but you've summed it up. thank you.

from bevanandjen :

Go to Starbucks and buy their "Elton John Christmas Party" - that generally works for Staff parties really well. It's like, 18 bucks.

from n-poledancer :

You are so sweet and it makes so much sense that you understand. Stay in touch - you have my email. Who knows I might even have more to say that way. I think deep down you and I are wanting the same things. I have been reading more of your diary in between the lines than black on white and to some extent I feel I know what you are all about at this point but thats what happens when you read someones blog for 3 years and thats also what happens when you have seven thousand glasses of wine on a wednesday night (I promised myself I wouldnt go through this sober). Big hugs.

from n-poledancer :

Hey its me once again. I got rid of vundo yesterday, I left instructions in gbook. I then thought maybe you dont read it anymore so I figured I'd post here too. Good luck.

from n-poledancer :

I was trying to leave you a message in the guestbook but of course it didnt work. I was thinking of you earlier. I am so sorry for what happened today, I am completely devastated. You probably know that I have very close friends in London, they are ok but it doesnt make up for all the loss that so many other people suffered today. What a madness. My heart and mind is with you all today.

from my-solitaire :

Welcome back! Even though I didn't know you were gone, since I don't know you and it's my first time here! I will return though to see what else you have to say ;) I thought this was your 100th but it's your 1000, that's incredible! Congratulations!

from ubermeister :

Your next entry will be your 1000th but you're locked so, alas, denied. Thanks for the gb signing, that was sweet. As I get older it's the little things that make me happy.

from spacebabe :

I obviously used to read your diary, but have been along for a while and just come back to find it locked :( Am I allowed to read??

from againststuff :

i think this screename should belong to me. but look at that, we rhyme. cheers ;)

from the-mermaid :

hey! I really like your profile; we seem to have a lot in common. I'm adding you to my buddy list, hope that's ok! Hope you'll add me too. xxx

from betchy :

i love the turbulent term of tyke tyler!!! that is set not far from where i live!!. i only came across your diary by accident, and i cant believe the first entry i read was about that book. i loved it so much i stole the copy from the library at my primary school. and i still have it. i have added you to my faves because of this. check me out if you get a chance and leave me a note. later beckz x

from elsbro :

Thanks for your kind words. We're just taking it one day at a time and hopefully things will turn out great, my mom's not a quitter!

from iooi :

hey! i work at spartacus, which is downtown on hasting beside the blunt brothers. the show is at 6pm, and i got the date mixed up, it's tonight!

from cdghost :

very pretty

from merrywitch :

Holy christ. I really didn't think you'd be able to justify that! I wonder...do you think it's worse to have big boobs only, or big boobs with big everything else? Ian doesn't understand what I'm talking about (he says I look fine), and it's not like I'm 4000 pounds (stone?), but I can't even IMAGINE being a single-digit size. I've always hovered around the 34-C (sometimes D) area myself, actually. I don't even UNDERSTAND the number you said you are! Blimey. ~M

from merrywitch :

Oh Sarah, you know I love you, but if you say one more thing about being a size 2 or a size 4 or whatever teeny-tiny size you are, I'm going to scream! (Remember, I say this with love.) Have you endured girls in your grade 5 class snapping your bra because you have big knockers already? Have you been an "in-between size" (which really means, like, size 14, except try to find good clothes that size when you're 11) all your life? Okay, this is getting pissy, which was not my intention, and I should probably save it for my own diary. All I mean to say is this: You have nothing to worry about! :~) ~M

from merrywitch :

Thanks for the note! Wow, I guess I know why I fall down all the time now. (Ha ha) Soft bones indeed. More like soft head. ~M PS--If this is what all the cool kids are doing, I'll gladly go back to my geeky self, thanks!

from wilkes :

Vancouver! My dad dragged my sister and I up there for Expo '86. It was my first time that I had ever left the U.S. The city buses were very educational. I'll come back one day. Maybe if the draft is ever reinstated, I'll act as an underground courier. Mike Watt is the Holy Ghost of bass players.

from saxifrage :

hey mindfluff, how was the show? I was gonna go, but Im broke.

from merrywitch :

I was confused by your note until I read your diary. I'm sorry it looks like Vietnam's off. In the case of some epidemic malady, couldn't the travel agent simply rebook you somewhere else, like Tahiti? (I have no idea where you'd rather go, actually. I just like saying "Tahiti".) That's the way it ought to be, anyway. Let me know how it all pans out. ~Melinda

from jdm5k :

well then, i'll submit my cure to whatever science magazine will print it!

from jdm5k :

i think love and a big hug is the cure for everything. however, in this case, a big hug might make the epidemic worse.

from merrywitch :

Hi...thanks for the message about what to say, or in fact, to say anything at all. I always appreciate people's concern and being there myself, but I'd hate to have the conversation come off as being awkward and only making matters worse. To call or to e-mail? She never answers e-mail in my experience, though, plus I find it a little lame in a situation like this unless you talk to the person online all the time. Hmm. Oh, and I don't know where Ian's relatives are in the UK. And, um, neither does he. Hopefully he will soon! :~) ~Melinda

from merrywitch :

Just had to say, you're not the first person I've known who has panic/fear/just plain discomfort when she sits behind the wheel. At least you have some experience behind you...I've never driven anything except bumper cars. Anyway, I grew up in Calgary, I've never been anywhere further East than Edmonton, was born in Surrey, and now live in Vancouver. Does THAT tell you why I want to go to the UK?? :~) Also, the boyfriend has family in England and Scotland and wants to use--I mean, visit--them. If you would like to play dress-up and don a sexy tour guide outfit and recommend places we go, please do! Or just dress up in the outfit and surprise your Ian when he comes home from work. It's really up to you. ~M

from habbit :

the bh surfers absolutely rock up until they started in with the Lolapalooza biz in the 90's which is sad, because their lps are heavily neglected imo. I used to have about 10 bootlegs of live shows that were psychotically good. Of course Double Live is epic, but these days I can only listen to 'Hairway to Steven' without having seizures.

from anticrew :

ok. i like your version MUCH better. also, if you knew how much i Love the jam, you would totally marry me.

from anticrew :

did you know that "fluff" is another word for fart?

from bevanandjen :

I don't mind the whole non-capitalization thing, its very e.e.cummings. I can't really fault that. Its just the half-assed shorthand that drives me batty. 'Tis the nature of the beast I suppose.

from merrywitch :

A ha ha ha ha!! Your diary made me laugh and laugh. (That was me laughing.) I enjoyed every entry, but I think my favourite is "Wake Up Call". Fantastic. ~M

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