messages to stoner-girl:
(click here to add new message):

from shegoeson :
Hey..guess what..I finally saw your note and..etc. you can check it your self. Gone. Stay your creative self, all the best in your writing and then some.
from stepfordtart :
Huzzah! What a splendid entry. Put a big smile on my miserable old face, it did. Many congrats to you and here's to the rest of your life - may it be astonishing! s x
from bliss-sad :
It's so hard to let go of "the one you could be with if...." I hope you know that you're incredible; settling for any less than someone just as spectacular would be a shame. You deserve the whole world.
from stepfordtart :
Thanks for your note - just read your latest. WTF?! Think he just earned himself a punch in the face. s x
from stepfordtart :
I think you were right to kick him out. Sometimes I'd like to do that too "Bugger off, I want the bed to myself and I want to pick my nose and try on every outfit and leave stuff on the floor and read a book and generally NOT HAVE YOU HERE. Come back on Friday." but, as I am married, I understand that it may be frowned upon. ; ) s x
from stepfordtart :
'writs'?? *writes. s x
from stepfordtart :
Yay for the end of exams! Oh, and that poem might work as a lyric with a bit of tinkering, know anyone who writs music? s x
from stepfordtart :
that first paragraph made me feel a little bit sick. Good luck with that stuff, it sounds like it sucks. s x
from stepfordtart :
Im sure its no consolation, but L feels exactly the same over the loss of his ma (5 years ago last week) and I am sure I will feel just like you do when my mum isnt here any more. May you find peace. s x
from bridgecity :
Moths lay eggs in cotton clothing and when the larva hatch eat holes in the clothes to escape.
from fairybones :
thanks for the note, sugar! it was really encouraging, and i'm so glad to hear from someone who's been in a similar boat. if i believed in karma i'd definitely be of the opinion that it's come back to bite me in the arse right now, considering all the times i've strung past boys along until they started to get a little too heavy in the lovey-dovey department for me that i'd have to cut them loose, and they'd be all, "what! but i thought you really liked me!" i think the only thing i can do to keep sane is to just relax and go with the flow - i know he cares about me and i know that he knows i care about him, and that's good enough for me right now. we'll see though! thanks again for the kind words, you're a doll. <3
from stepfordtart :
My husband and I run a monthly open mic night - something of a busman's holiday for him but its great fun. Word of warning: dont date musicians. That way lies damnation (and financial ruin!). s x
from stepfordtart :
STEWART LEE!!!! Id been trying to explain who is is to Jooj but I couldnt remember his bastard name! I knew it was something to do with Lee but I thought that was his first name and I was making a, frankly, pisspoor job at describing him (kind of drunkish like Dylan Moran but not Irish and wearing a tie and a little bit fat but not porky and quite nice looking in a dishevelled way and a bit grumpy but not vile with it...See? I am crap.). Thanks for that. *texts Jooj* 'It was Stewart fucking Leeeeeeeee, not Lee-something-or-other. DUH. Love mum xx' s x
from stepfordtart :
Im not a big fan of Simon Amstell on Buzzcocks (Im more a Mark Lamarr girl!) but I bought the stand-up dvd for Jooj for Christmas. Ive watched some bits of it and its really pretty funny - much better than I was expecting. Im not easily offended either (and I didnt see the show you sere referring to) but I bought the Frankie Boyle dvd and when I watched it I was all hahahahahaha...OH...actually, thats not nice. Bit disappointing really. We've got an unwatched Lee Mack calling us from the shelf at the mo, too. He makes me laugh in a strangely old-fashioned way - like Morcambe and Wise but with knob gags! s x
from acornotravez :
I like your diary, is it ok if I add you to my faves?!?
from annanotbob :
You're a fantastic writer - don't under-rate yourself xxx
from a-z-a :
aza_@hotmail.com :)
from a-z-a :
i'd still love to read your diary.
from a-z-a :
lock'd? :(
from katzendreck :
(=pfirsich)Oh no,not me!!!! OK,Im gonna write something tomorrow I guess
from pfirsich :
Everything is going "tits-up",haha,what an expression.Did you make that up? So funny.You imagine a woman or doll swimming on a river on her back only the tits are showing above the water....only would that be a good thing cause it means shes floating...
from myhappiness :
You've been tagged, read my diary ;)
from itineration :
I remember reading about Huck and the Negro going down that river on their hand made raft, sailing to some place more free. And I don't know when they realized it or when I realized it, but it became clear that in their search for freedom they lost sight of the fact that they were truly free. The search for freedom is freedom. If you seek to be free you are free.
from pfirsich :
Oh,luv your diary!
from pfirsich :
Hahaha,how can you be so wild!!?
from annanotbob :
Fantastic all round!!!!
from pfirsich :
Please,not PACEY!!!!!
from dmentor :
thanks for your note, it made my day :)
from annanotbob :
Thinking of you and your ma and sending lots of good wishes (prayers even, tho I don't really call them that). If I can help with the english c/w just give me a shout. Love and a big hug xxx
from dmentor :
hey hey :)
from razor-wire :
it feels weird using diaryland after being with myspace for so long..... I am glad that you feel a bit better now ou have partied. Whenever its needed you know where i am
from myhappiness :
Hey, I like the peter-pan-parker. All right, made me smile. Thanks.
from cloudscapes :
I read that last post, and at the same time I'm listening to a playlist of Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, Stones, Beatles, Floyd and Hendrix. Now that's real music ;)
from hedgehoggy :
Oh, do catch a peak at Ginger Snaps. If you loved Dog Soldiers, you'll lust for this one as you wish to tear everything to fucking pieces. Jolly good time. Boys suck. But then again, I am a boy. Boo on me.
from annanotbob :
Aw, babe. Wish I could come and give you a hug. This will pass, you know. Big love and lots of respect, Anna xxxx
from cloudscapes :
You are such a smart-cookie sometimes, you amaze me.
from annanotbob :
Aww - welcome Phil xxx
from hedgehoggy :
Thankee for the add. I'm full of politics, vigor, and sex that I have no idea what to do with myself. Life to me is just fun til some idiot decides to ruin it with ignorance and keeping me from expressing myself. Pubic hair? Well, if ya want to let your voice out, go for it. All I must say is that my ex said it best: "It's gotta be neat and tidy down there."
from annanotbob :
Thank you for your kindness. Happy new year sweetie xx
from cloudscapes :
I'm sorry to read about Lewis. Some people just can't tell when they've got a good thing. Keep you're chin up though, you never know what's around the next corner. I spent eight months heart-broken and miserable, and then the most wonderful girl just walked into my life completely unexpectedly. You're a safe girl, and I mean safe in a good, rare, way, not in a boring way. You're smart, open minded, and mature. You've never posted a picture of yourself, but from things you've said I'd guess you're pretty good looking, so you've got a lot going for yourself. The only down-point I've picked up from your writing is that you're fairly determined to stay laid-back all the time. This is very cool most the time, laid back people are a pleasure to spend time with - but you have to show enough emotion for people to understand how you feel and to learn about you. Showing emotions implies a certain level of trust and vulnerability, which is necessary for a two-way relationship. Feel free to tell me to f*ck-off if you don't appreciate my advice, but I am only trying to be a friend. I'm totally on your side, Lewis is a jerk! You're the super-cool stoner-girl. :) Peas and love. Krizzy.
from gumphood :
thanks for the url.... sorry for the books!
from girl4thegame :
Hey girly this is Spunkyhottie but the real me can i add yo again?and i'm so sorry about lewis~Cheyanna~
from annanotbob :
xxx
from annanotbob :
Hope you feel better after that rant, but have a big hug anyway, you lovely thing xxx
from itineration :
let him know ahead of time that you're a heartbreaker.
from annanotbob :
Well done you xxx
from gumphood :
thanks for the comment. I think you are right about guys.
from razor-wire :
Aww hun I am sure it`s nothing, and he`s just being a boy and can`t see that it might seem neglectful. You know where I am if you ned to talk or whatever. I got tomorrow off so if you want I can hang. (Hug) Luv Stacey
from annanotbob :
Ah! Nice. Some of my best mates have been/are totally different and we just manage to enjoy the bits we like and ignore the rest. Some of them are indeed christians too and I even manage not to hold that against them. Have to keep my gob shut, but that's probably good for the soul or something. Hope you have some good times though and hurrah for half term, love xxx
from annanotbob :
They're all fuckers. If I see any of 'em I'll smack 'em hard. Well, I probably wouldn't as I'm a non-violent-stoner-granny, but I'd grrr at them. (Sorry, bit wasted, got cross on your behalf) xxx
from annanotbob :
Well I hope you're feeling better girlie, sending you mountainous good-health-vibes xxx
from annanotbob :
hey - check this out: National Novel Writing Month whoops, thought that was the web site - google it - I'm gonna give it a go - how about you?
from annanotbob :
Happy birthday xxxx
from annanotbob :
Just had to write and tell you how fab I think you are - you restore my faith in teenagers as sentient beings. That Zoe is probably struggling through her life with a tiny fraction of your intelligence - hideous having stupid bosses, but has to be done sometimes. I also have to say this, but don't be cross, I'm a teacher remember: those are study periods, you bloody girl, not frees!!!! If you take them as frees you'll never get through all the work! Sorry, had to say it, love xxxx
from itineration :
hey, tarnia, i need to let you know something: iloveyou.
from gumphood :
I was thinking, I hope those are diary names. Yes, I still think that I am interesting, but my life will be getting more boring. I mean once you have kids, come on, 20 somethings will have a much more exciting life than me!
from gumphood :
as we grow up I swear we get more boring
from annanotbob :
I'm not really clear about what writing has received a response that's done your head in, but a) you're a writer, girl, don't ever doubt that, and b) publications have their own ideas of what they want - being turned down may mean you're not right for them, or that this piece was no good for them, or that they've got enough stuff for the next 10 years... I don't know enough to be sure in this instance, but DO NOT GIVE UP WRITING or you may have to cope with an irate old bag on your doorstep demanding an explanation. OK? Now, get writing. ps sorry to be so bossy, but it needed saying.
from annanotbob :
Thanks for that - so far so good... Glad Mrs Muse is back too xx
from gumphood :
I just think it was interesting how you talk about men, and their relationships with their egos. I almost think that sometimes when women are attracted to men, they have to hate them or be jealous of them in some way. Thats a french concept though.
from gumphood :
I might be wrong, but I am assuming that you are British. I find your diary interesting and your take on men fairly fascinating. Anyway.
from lifeasme66 :
Just wanted to say hi and thanks for the note and the add! I really like your diary, I want to read more... and I will, when I get the chance! It sounds like you and I have a lot in common =) **HUGS!!**
from annanotbob :
Good on you girl! Well done!
from iknowyoulied :
Thanks ^^ DO you mind if I add you on MSN?
from annanotbob :
Hope you have a great party xxx
from spunkyhottie :
Hey i like love that song now it like rocks!!!~CHEY~
from missy-17 :
hey whatcha up to, me nothin just keepin on checkin your diary and readin it, gotta say it is that really interesting!!! =)
from iknowyoulied :
Woot, that's cool ^^
from iknowyoulied :
We have a lot in common, and I like your diary ^^ Mind if I add you to my favourites?
from spunkyhottie :
Hey its ok we all have those days where there is just no space!!:)~CHEY~
from annanotbob :
Thanks for that - it's powerful stuff to get good wishes from a real person, especially one called stoner-girl - stoner-granny wouldn't quite work in the same carefree way would it? Somehow it brings social sevices into mind, but not to worry. Me and him have known each other for 35 years, so it's ... dunno what it is, but I can feel we're approaching some sort of resolution. Thanks again and a big hug, xx
from missy-17 :
i doesnt seem to work!!!! well if you can you can copy past the pic and email it to missy.rios@us.army.mil
from missy-17 :
cool!!! so do you by chance have any pics anywhere or something
from missy-17 :
hey i signed your gest book if you dont mind, i love your diary so much!!!
from spunkyhottie :
Hey i hope that ypu have fun with your friend!!~CHEY~
from spunkyhottie :
Hey you really do rock so dont thank me at all!!You are really good i love your stuff to the max email me sometime!~CHEY~
from spunkyhottie :
You like rock at writing keep it up i love your stuff and may i add you to my fav diarys???~CHEY~
from annanotbob :
You are a great writer. I met Anne Fine once and she said to just read as much as you can and write every day - you go girl!
from gerg69 :
Hang in there, it gets better. <---Oh god what a load of crap that was. Eh I've been in your shoes before. Boy you got some big ass feet. From this last entry I think I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't always get much easier, but you know it can't be this crappy for ever. RIGHT? Is that any good? Probably not. But, the hugging and not getting it ... personal space thing.... totally understand that. You aint the only one toots.... Be well.
from itineration :
you spelled dyslexic incorrectly.
from itineration :
keep being tarnia, but don't be afraid to change. it's the easiest thing in the world.
from itineration :
we spell it hertz here!
from dmentor :
:)i've already asked someone else's help. But THANK YOU anyway. You really are a friend. 'Miss talking to you thou. ;)
from dmentor :
i was thinking if i could ask you a favor..
from itineration :
i'm drunk!
from hinkadaloboo :
the whole cut-tin off the foot thing is a bad eye-de-ya.how the hell could you walk? you wood prob-lee need a peg leg...and thos are spend-dee...oh! and you wood have to change your name to pete. so everyone could call you peg leg pete. -hink
from dmentor :
be strong girl, don't let everything get back into you. You're brilliant, you're strong, you're smart. You're much better than yielding to it.
from itineration :
thanks for deconstructing our weak sex.
from itineration :
you too miss never online.
from digitalsoap :
Don't people write short notes anymore? I haven't said hi in a while, so I thought I should do that cos I'm still reading. Hi!
from itineration :
here. well. i am not depressed. i am going to tell you what i told another girl. she told me i should try to get published. she told me that i was depressed. here is what i said, basically: bored but free. right now, i have no responsibilities. a job is a job, all work is honorable. you can write short stories, you can paint, or you can shovel shit. it doesn't really matter. i'll spend my paycheck on the same things no matter what. the problem with getting published is that there's this thing called ambition that i really don't have the time for. i'm not depressed; and boredom and loneliness, well, they're growing into what i consider close friends. they are here for me. we hang out and play solitaire together or, sometimes, we play with the hamster, clean the house, lay on our backs on the living room floor while the sunlight slowly engulfs us. life is good and i love it. of course i hate work, but i like the paychecks. and of course girls are just as difficult as ever, but i love the adventure and the challenge. smoking hurts but it gives me something to do and cancer, well, it's just something to look forward to. i mainly just write online now. anyone who wants to find it, can. personal publishing is what people call it. i call it maintaining my sanity.
from nobodies15 :
Hey great 200th entry. Your intellegence shows in your ability to logically present elements of your past and explain their effects on your present behaviour. It made me think of my biological father (who i haven't seen for 9 years) and his side of the family, to which I have no affiliation. I to largely act like nothing affects me, and don't let anyone in easily. Thanks for the good reading and keep up the great writing!
from cloudscapes :
I really don't know what to say. I just wanted to let you know that what you've written made me feel very strong emotions. A mixture of emotions to be sure. You're a strong girl. Please don't let the walls seal you in. Be well. CJ.
from dmentor :
That pondering of yours is really deep. Honestly, i often think of the world and other people the same way too. And about your friend, who knows someday he'll finally come to his senses?...maybe what he really need is a quality time alone. That way he'll be able to contemplate on what really matters most in his life. Some people can't seem to have that chance given such amount of attention like you give him. Other's on the otherhand are actually aware of how they're being stupid and selfish but don't bother to change because they're loving the attention. Any of the 2 reasons, the only solution is to ignore him for a while to make him think. And don't worry about what the outcome may be later, you're not alone girl, you'll never be. I'm sure there are a lot of people who's life you touch in a special way not just him. Keep on writing, you're good at it. And btw, wish i could see you in that prom dress too ;). Enjoy and have fun!
from dmentor :
A friend of mine should read that entry of yours. I find your way of using blunt but honest words effective.
from dmentor :
Empty like a used well. Feeling is a sensation she know not of. Drained and dry, she is.
from itineration :
call me anytime, even when i tell you to bug off.
from itineration :
i miss you, when are you coming back?
from nobodies15 :
I love those lines in your diary by Queens of the stone-age. I wrote the exact same ones in my diary a while ago, but couldn't remember which band they came from. So thanks for reminding me :)
from reallyhuman :
Haha. I just skimread your entry while stoned off my face, and I misread "Last year I was walking blind, going wherever my legs would take me. But my eyes are open now." to "Last year I was waking blind, going wherever my eyes would take me. But my legs are open now" I really am fucking stoned. Anyway, no no no, I don't know anyone called Rory or Luke. Well I do know someone called Rory kind of, but it's spelled Rauri and he's 2. Have you noticed though, that with people called Annie... well it is a certain type of person who has that name. Annie is a name that you either suit or you don't. You don't get normal people called Annie. They're all a bit odd.
from miracledrug :
hi, I found ure diary thru someone else...i'm just surfing trying to find cool reads that are about interesting things beyond 'poor me' and 'i want to die' cos that's how i am sometimes and it gets old. lol anyways, i like that song u put up...its really cool. xx
from reallyhuman :
Nah 16 is a piece of piss. Wait til you have to hear the word "UCAS" in every single lesson. Eugh. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
from myhappiness :
Hey, seriously, thanks for the advice. But its just..I can't let her win all the time, you know. And I love my beard, you know.
from shyhairxshy :
particles are shiny.
from cloudscapes :
you have a new reader.
from hanna1 :
I was bored at work until i came across your diary, very cool. Couldn"t stop reading for hours. So cool. keep it up. Take care stoner-girl.
from digitalsoap :
If you want to see spun-out, watch episodes of H&R Puffenstuff. They all must have been on acid and LSD. And if they weren't...no, they must have been. Nothing else can explain it.
from criminal-- :
dude, you're just fucking beautiful than ever. (ingore this note but had to say it)
from mornglory :
nice strategy, you're better than ferris bueller! (don't forget to lick your palms)
from myhappiness :
Hey, you know, you're as sweet as you ever was..no matter what.
from ruby--sky :
hey, i just thought i'd let you know that reevo is officially gone and this will be my new home. love always, star xx
from mornglory :
be ice cold like andre 3000 of outkast advises and you'll be fine : )
from reallyhuman :
i know. it's just that there are spliffs everywhere these days. i get into college and within 10 minutes i've had at least one, usually two spliffs, then in the break of my first lesson there's usually a fucking spliff. After college, that's when there are unlimited spliffs. All my friends fucking smoke.
from digitalsoap :
I'm going away for a "Fear and Loathing" week with some friends next week. It's going to be interesting. Just have to remember to take my fly swat.
from antisthenes :
Wouldn't it make you sad to go without any of those things? Like what if all of the small pleasures you have ended? Say your mum or sister died, or maybe you'll become paralyzed from the neck down? Huh, what then? HUH!? ha.
from reevo :
woah. love your diary. may i please add you to my buddy list? star xx
from bossique :
just wanted to say happy be-lated birthday! :D
from antisthenes :
Happy birthday. May your sixteenth year be as uneventful as your fifteenth, and may all of your mistakes bite you in the rear, kiddo (it really hurts).
from mornglory :
OMG we watched fear and loathing this weekend at our crazy druggy house party too! *thumbs up*
from insane-whore :
You're very welcome ♥
from insane-whore :
Cute profile *Smiles* I hope you stay as happy as possible ♥
from digitalsoap :
Salad Fingers is whack diggity. Not to be confused with the bomb diggity.
from antisthenes :
Live is not something to be planned, kid. It's something to be lived. All of the schools, all of the classes and careful measurements don't amount to anything if you don't live it.
from digitalsoap :
I'm sleeping much better now, thank you. Probably due to the amount of depressant drugs in my body at the moment. Happy times :)
from digitalsoap :
Instead of going to Switzerland for your gap year, you should come to Australia. We're cheaper and we have better beer. Plus its warmer.
from digitalsoap :
I'm glad you liked it :)
from gerg69 :
Hey thanks for the note and the remarks. i appreciate them a lot. Glad you liked the stuff.
from digitalsoap :
You are the interesting. Onto my favourites list you go.
from mornglory :
sometimes i think i am a government experiment, but that could be paranoia... what do you think? mehheh. big bro usa is on right now as i type : )
from mornglory :
i LURVE big brother!
from myhappiness :
aw...so wise..well, keep your head up. Keep Rory in line.
from reallyhuman :
Who's to say what real happiness is though? Happiness is a feeling. Your emotions can be tampered with by different substances, but they're still your emotions. You might not have those emotions without whatever substance, but that doesn't stop them from being emotions that are there. I don't know. Personally it doesn't really matter all that much to me. I must say that drugs are probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. I mean I think of all the other good things, the good things that normal people would be proud of or happy with, and they're good. But being stoned is always in and out and around that. For instance I bond with my friends because we're both stoned, and having a damn stupid conversation while sitting in a toilet about how we're probably two thoughts inside a gender issued serial killers mind. It's about as retarded as can be, and yet I wouldn't give up moments like that for the whole world. This is an awfully long note.
from reallyhuman :
Woohoo! I must say, I was begining to doubt the existance of normal stoner people on diaryland. Anyway, who's to say drugs aren't real happiness? They possibly aren't lasting happiness, but they clearly provide something else nobody would take them.
from antisthenes :
Only when you've hit bottom can you begin to learn anything.
from antisthenes :
I have often marveled at how girls confuse the idea of "flirting" and that of "subtle emotional torture". I guess it's both sexes that do this.
from razrbladekis :
i want to make this really short and sweet by basically saying good luck with this and everything else i'm sure it will resolve over time and i hope it does.you seem like a really great and interesting girl.so good luck ---lauren
from manicfetish9 :
Yeah. it really does seem weird and u know it sux bc you go thru all this shit by yourself, and then you have to think, wow--i bet someone halfway around the world is going thru the same thing!&&& in this case--we were. I say good-luck to you and ur girlface. If she's understandble,&&& easier than ur current boyface, i bet you'd be really happy. I hope that you will be happy anyways! I want your soul to smile! Boys are weird and shitfaces anyways, but if you do get with girlface, make sure that all ur feeling for boyface are gone. ((i've gone thru this and sometimes still go thrut his))((see?? around-tha-world connection)) Good Luck--**love&&&stiches**-, Savannah
from fastredcar :
thanks :) i enjoy reading yours too. i noticed you have an autistic sister, i have an autistic brother. anyways, the whole boyfriend thing will eventually blow over and if he's worth it, after everything's said and done he'll still be there with you. good luck with it all
from manicfetish9 :
Thanx! &&& your life is very interesting. Don't worry about your boyfriend. Me &&& my boyfriend are going thru the same exact thing, well we were...but last nite we talked about it and We Cried, yes WE cried. Boy's are mindless shitfaces, but when they do use what little mind they have, that finally figure out whats really going on. Maybe that's what your boyface should do~!** Love &&& Stiches **-savannah
from britneypink :
Hi, interesting about the T. cards. Sounds like you know a lot about them. Sounds like you really know what you want to do with your life these days too. All the best.
from easyreviews :
Your review is up at easyreviews, and hey! Check out the hall of fame, ok? ;)
from acidreams :
Hey, thanks for adding me.
from antisthenes :
Buh. What right do you have to complain about Van Helsing when you're going to see Troy? Another piece of history (literal or literary) turned into pop trash. The only reason to see it is the same as the only reason to see Van Helsing, really: the visceral reaction. Either from killing, or from seeing Brad Pitt ass.
from girl-razor :
Euck, CR:UK ~ Monkey slaughtering assholes. www.shac.net :(
from november-- :
zeppelin, YES. its all about the zeppelin.
from p-e-z-girl :
Fab layout :)
from girl-razor :
Hiya....So please, fill me in about this alternative to K-Lite ;)
from p-e-z-girl :
Found your diary and it's hilarious!! I loved your God's point of view bit. Funny stuff :P <3 Ally
from november-- :
i know..familys scary. albino bunnys are rad but i wouldn't want a rabbit because they die too much. which is kind of ironic cuz they multiply too much.hah<3x
from november-- :
labels. there's too many of em. <3x
from antisthenes :
Never, ever go back and edit entries. Ever! It's rule number one, where quality is out of the question, out of the door, back in the mob and hopelessly addicted to codeine, of all the damned-ass drugs he could be on, for all the damned-ass reasons; it never did make much sense to me, to alter our perceptions by opening a few doors, that blake-felllllllla was sure out of it, wasn't he? Way off. Demons, I tell you now, for I know that once the dawn comes, this will wear off, and I won't be anymore; I won't feel anymore, I won't desire or lust or want or c-ra-ve anything beyond the limitations imposed upon me.
from girl-razor :
:) *mehhhhh* You're finally on my favourites. ♥ ♥ ♥ {just for you}
from fallstarrevu :
Hiya, ♥ your review is done! It's right here! http://fallstarrevu.diaryland.com/stonergirl.html I hope you like it! xxx
from fallstarrevu :
♥ Hiya, if you would like a review or know anyone who needs a review, please refer them to FallingStar Reviews. We are currently looking for reviews and reviewers. We provide reviews that give a detailed and constructive critism for the benifit of the diaryist. We are not here to provide an ego boost, nor are we here to rip you diary to shreds. Just to produce a good, constructive review xxx ♥
from girl-razor :
Hey hon, I'm sorry you had to resign from your review site and I hope things get a little better. Sometimes it's hard juggling everything that life throws at us and keeping a steady head. Do yourself a favour, roll your self a blunt and sleep for a day. Relax the next day and then turn your life around the day after :) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
from pipey :
you know girl, I can never truly understand and I can never be able to read the way people talk.. like you just typed as you pasted it from someone's : "OMGZ SERA CONERZZZZZZZZZ ON!!!!!!!! SHII ROX. onlii shiiz uglii!!!!! bonz babii out da doa git ^ n m000v dun mek meh akt da f00!!11 juz get ya stufz boi cuz im tyrd of hiirin all ur laiz!!!1 babii boi i no ul nevaa fid no0o0o0 stufz as gud as myn!!!!!!!!!!11! u mad ur bed n nau u haf2 sliip w/ meh babiii!!!!!!11!! i saw u der w/ myn on iiz!!!11!! JUZ BONZ!!!!!!!1!! omgz diz s0n r0x0rz azzzzZZZZZzz!!1!1! omgz loli3z im so0o00o herdc0rrr." ->This is something I'll always hate, and something I'll never be able to be friends with. -.- hmpf. And I'm so glad you don't type like that..:D:D:D
from antisthenes :
Kawasakis! Yamaha! I've never missed a plane.
from hope-star :
Glasgow as in Glasgow, Kentucky?
from adelyte :
I understand the frustration of what's in your head not matching what's on the page. Something that worked for me was art therapy, letting go of my perfectionism by letting the kid inside me draw... no plans, no promises. Just pick up a pencil, pen, or brush and start going... I use my hands in the paint, I mix media, and just throw feelings and colors and images on the page. It comes out really interesting in the end, and it's freeing... experimentation will get you closer to the perfection you desire. Gotta let that muse free before she'll start working with you. Here's a site with some art therapy style exercises that can help you if you're interested: http://www.nowgetcreative.com/CJExercises/exercises.htm
from hope-star :
I feel the same way about flowers & chocolates for Valentine's Day. Not only are they a waste of money, but too commerical! You hit the nail on the head!
from pipey :
wow..that entry(http://stoner-girl.diaryland.com/difficulty.html) hurts my eyes lol
from pipey :
I know it's kinda early to leave a note but just wanted to say hey, and HAPPY VALENTINE DAY! Hope you'll get lots of it!
from pipey :
you go girl, just claw their eyes out! lol
from pipey :
;-)
from justanother- :
pfft. you're too sweet & i'm for sure NOT pretty. but thx. & i'm glad you're doing okay. happy is good. xoxoxox
from justanother- :
yeah, the photo is of me. but i wouldn't use "gorgeous" to describe it. maybe "horrific"?? i'm doing fine...how are you darling? xoxox
from taintedviews :
you have been judged
from antisthenes :
By referring to it as nothing it only heightens its existence. And while you may think of it as nothing, its your responsibility to let your significant other know about it so that they may decide for themselves. Assuming that it means nothing to everyone is an escape route that's all too often taken because it is the "easiest" on one self.
from inaptbeauty :
hun, i was so stupid not to look at the reviewers page. ehe. so i guess im just telling you a big thank you here too. *spreadin the love...* just read the notes page of ballet-revus too, i got it all in there. ♥ &goodluck with your life
from adelyte :
you read me randomly a long time ago... took me ages to find your new diary. Really nice read and a cute layout. 8)
from blunt-revues :
Your review is up! Thanks for submitting!
from bossique :
wow what a moment you have. surreal is nice to have sometimes...doesn't it? well i dont know but im starting to think that my whole life is so full of surreal you know? however it is all real, and i guess you're having an experience that you can never forget. good luck girl, hopefully you'll have a great weekend!
from cdghost :
stumbled across your diary and enjoyed reading it..thank you
from rosytears :
HUh? I dont really get it.. Anyway for the password, email balletr@myway.com and we'll pass you the password as soon as possible and remember to keep it safe :) could you edit the bio yourself? I'm a little busy nowadays, secondary two is really killing me. I dont really have much time for reviews.
from ballet-revu :
Check the pending page for your review. (I didnt give you the password to this site, did I?) When you're done email it to our review site email and leave Jewelx a note. :)
from justanother- :
wow. that IS freaky. i just have this weird & slightly irrational desire to be someones everything. i want to be all they think about & in a weird way i associate possessivness & jealousy with knowing that he really cares. i'm just not used to having someone who's so open with their feelings & so trusting as ryan. it's different but i think its what i need. i completely understand about the aging thing. i'm terrified of growing old too but i'm terrified to even turn thirty. i'm just dreading having to grow up, i think. xoxoxox
from rosytears :
Whoops. I'm sorry. Forgot to put your name up on the reviewers section. Sorry!
from moongazer17 :
youre so very welcome, sweets. one day..i will be a rebellious alcoholice. one day. Grins* ♥ ♥
from rosytears :
I'm glad to hear that. I wouldnt want to burden you down with all that reviewing if you couldnt handle it.
from justanother- :
ugh, that ending pissed me off. almost enough to make me hate the movie completely! okay, not quite that much...but still, why did they think she should have to change who she is as a person? they sent a horrible message out to all young girls. it was like they were saying that guys are only attracted to "normal", perfect, popular girls. & if you don't fit that standard, you'll never be loved. that's wrong on sooooo many levels. gggrrrr. okay, i'm going to shut up now cuz i could go on forever. take care! xoxoxox
from justanother- :
you're welcome doll. don't worry, whining is completely ok. we're teenage girls, it's what we do. & your diary is the perfect place for that & if anyone says anything differently... well, no one is forcing them to read it right? i'm glad the trash was taken out too. i feel so much more in control now & i'm hoping it stays that way. xoxoxoxox
from moongazer17 :
Youre kidding, right? swear to god, you are beautiful. i'm being completly honest. now its your turn to blush, sweet girl. grins* ♥ ♥
from moongazer17 :
stares at the floor and turns a million shades of red* i/am/so/flattered. Has anyone ever told you that youre effing beautiful??
from rosytears :
I dont know, you seem kind of sadder and depressed nowadays. Are you still able to handle reviewing?
from justanother- :
i watched them take away the garbage yesterday morning & felt infinitely powerful. but how are you dollface? it's ok to whine & bitch y'know. it's what our teenage years are for. xoxoxox
from rosytears :
Hey. Are you alright?
from moongazer17 :
thank you so much for signing me tag-board, complimenting my layout and my pics. you are lovely
from justanother- :
i completely understand about the depression eating you alive. i'm trying to work through it but it seems like every time i make progress someone is there to push me back down. i'm glad everything is looking up for you though. with the whole rory/ed thing...i kind of get what you're feeling. it's hell to have strong feelings for two different boyfaces. i hope whichever way you choose, you make YOU happy. because in the end that's all that matters. xoxox
from antisthenes :
I'm fairly sure I know what you want to do, really want to do (not to be presumptious, of course). I don't mean, "Well, part of you is saying, blah blah, but the other part". What I'm saying is that what you honestly want to do about this whole situation is to go with Ed. You love trouble. No hornet shall have a nest undisturbed with Tarnia in town. This isn't the kind of thing where you love trouble when it happens and then hate it afterwards, either, I think; any feeling of indecision or of guilt after the fact that you'd have is likely an adding of parts, of excitement and anticipation. I don't like relationships. We fall into ruts. Even if those ruts are good, it's in the nature of many human beings to avoid all ruts, to avoid all times of certainty. You love Rory, and he loves you, and while that is nice, it too is a rut, and what you've been compelling yourself to do is to escape. That's why Ed is here. I'm willing to bet (rather uselessly, I might add) that had Ed not been so profound (and the matter is debatable- you may have done what I'm about to say already), you would have vested in him the power of being so. Ed is a classic escape route, be he the real deal or not. In closing, you have two primary options: you can follow your natural prediliction for trouble and leave Rory, pursuing Edward, or you can spit in the face of tradition and remain with Rory. Other options are far less practical. Don't sweat it, either; it's not a big deal. Your place in life in five years will likely be without either of them. Flip a coin if you have to.
from justanother- :
awww, darling. i know exactly how you're feeling & i want to tell you things will get better. they will, honestly. you should see the movie version of IT. it's scary as fuck. ps. you're fucking amazing doll! xoxoxox
from justanother- :
ohmyfuck!! that movie scared the HELL out of me because a friend of mine & i watched it when we were five after our parents told us not to. to this day every time i get into a shower i have to make sure there's no blood coming out of the drain. btw, you're awesome. xoxoxox <3
from justanother- :
yeah... i just realized that should say *corny & not corner...fuck, i need sleep. <3
from justanother- :
awww, thank you dollface. it didn't sound [[that]] corner *wink* xoxox<3
from justanother- :
yeah, he's amazing sometimes & yes, school does suck. if it didn't...well, the world would probably end. <3
from justanother- :
still as beautiful as always! i know the feeling...i asked ryan if he hated me because of it & he said no, he still loved me but he would always worry about me because of it. *huggles* boyfaces can surprise you sometimes. <3 mady
from justanother- :
i hope rory understands dollface. if he doesn't he was never worth your time. i'm doing ok but how are you doing? keep up your beautiful writing, i'm hooked now. <3
from down-fallen :
you are so pretty and your words are so sad. xoxoxoxoxoxo
from bossique :
the greatest feeling, the bestest medicine to cure everything is love, I TOTALLY love being loved by someone. Things like that, that you're going through is pretty tough eh? I'm not a biggest fan to slash my skin with knife or anything sharp but I've tried once on my wrist and do you know what I realize? Im such a chicken, it hurts like hell and I never want to do it again but there are times that I just want to cut myself again in over and over and over...I find it so odd. I just rather take pills to get pass out than hurting my own skins in flesh and blood. [Sigh], I really hope things will go so wonderful for you in this coming weekend! You go girl, go get some loving from Rory heehhe. :)
from justanother- :
i have tooooo many friends like that. lol. we're friends but we don't have that bond like we used to. & don't worry about not doing your work, i've been slacking lately too *feels ashamed* i haven't done any work all week. keep up *your* even more beautiful writing. <3
from justanother- :
yea, i don't know if i'll ever get used to him calling me beautiful. i'll just have to get over it because he says he's never going to stop. [[we'll see...]]. & as usual, beautiful words. good luck with all of your work dollface. <3 Madz
from bossique :
Oh yes yes! ovulation-calender is really awesome, I found it from your diary a while ago, and I thought I would try it out. Also, Dean thought it was funny to have one and he wanted me to have one lol. :)
from justanother- :
ok, now i'm just as confused as you. first i thought ed was adorable & now i'm thinking rory sounds sweet. a lot like my ryan. in fact the whole scenerio where he was crying over the phone sounded exactly like something that happened with me & ryan like a month ago. & yeah, now i'm shutting up. <3
from justanother- :
Pretty? Me?!? Are you sure you were looking at the right picture?!?! Anyway, if you love Rory, stay with him. You have to do what feels right for *you* & not someone else. But you can't ask Ed to wait around forever for you. Ahhh! Relatsionships! *sigh* Anyway, keep up the beautiful writing dollface. <3
from justanother- :
Awww, this Ed kid sounds adorable. But I'm keeping my mouth shut & I refuse to shove relationship advice on you...*pantomimes zipping lips* Nope nope nope. Not getting a word out of me. & I had no idea about that whole google code deal...gee, that would have been helpful about a month ago before my friends started quoting my diary to me. *growls at google* <3
from antisthenes :
Hint: He wants to have sex with you. If he is, as you a say, a jock, and you are not, then it's obvious; the idea of having sex with someone from another social distinction clearly excites him as a new number to add to his already impressive roster. Having sex with a subversive like yourself would, obviously, equal more than a girl from his own social stratus. You're half right, also; while we are in school to learn, socializing and popularity are neccesary. These enterprises are meant to teach social skills, the kind that you'll need to succeed in the real world. To find jobs faster, to more readily associate with other people, to 'connect' with potential employees. Networking skills, kiddo.
from justanother- :
thanks dollface. i had to leave paperxheart- because of too many people finding it. yeah, i definently like the red & black layout better. <3
from ballet-revu :
This is rosytears here at Ballet-Reviews. Could you email me at xdreamgalz@hotmail.com with your name, profile (what we post on the reviewer's page about you. Please check out http://ballet-revu.diaryland.com/reviewers.html for the way your bio should look like. And please do a review of (my) diary, rosytears, using the scoring scheme. Thanks! (Take your time, there's no hurry)
from rosytears :
Wow. Again you sure were fast, haha. I've added you to the list of reviewers, (at least I will as soon as I finish up my daily stuff here on diaryland), and I've added the news page welcoming your arrival too. Welcome to the team! And if you happen to know other people who either want a review or are interested in reviewing, tell me! Haha. You got into the Hall of Fame yourself.
from rosytears :
You do work fast. Compliment yourself for the great review, not me. After all, you were the one who made it all possible. Could you add me to your MSN? Oh and by the way, you've been added to the hall of fame because I plain enjoyed your diary.
from julesspeaks :
I'm sorry I haven't stopped by sooner..lovely new layout and beautiful prose as always. Wish I could write something like that. Well, maybe not. I'll leave that to you.
from paperxheart- :
yay. you're all added. & i agree with you about kurt cobain being a god of sorts. my boyfriend said he knew i was really in love with him when i told him that i loved him more than kurt cobain. so that tells you just how pathetically obsessed i am. <3
from paperxheart- :
thank you for the note dollface. your writing is beautiful & i don't mind if you add me as a favorite as long as i can add you as well. <3
from antisthenes :
You can explain to people that the need for change is in there air, but you cannot force them to agree with you. The choices people make are what make those same people. The ability to choose, even if they don not choose what you agree with, is a grand gift to all thoughtful beings. People choose to endorse consumerism and materialism just as you choose to fight against it; neither choose is more worthy than the other. Both are equally absurd.
from jason75 :
impulsive is good.. dont ever lose your impulsive side
from jason75 :
keep your chin up cariad
from bossique :
Haha, because I thought you're suppose to go out have have a good time you know? Sorry, I'm just being weird, because I noticed you updated entries alot today, and I was like "wait a minute isn't she suppose to go out to have fun or something?" lol. So, it's 10 pm over there and that is to early to stay home! :oP It's saturday today and 2 pm. In an hour Im going out to play soccer, and try kill myself from it lol..I haven't play soccer for too long now and it's time for me to play, even I don't care how low my blood is right now...at least im going to eat alot of liver meats before I go :op
from bossique :
is it saturday over there? and what time is it over there?
from bossique :
You're right, is is never a enough but never stop hey?
from bossique :
Suffering does sucks really bad but i think suffering is what helps people to be strong, I know it's sound stupid, and ironic but it really does. Also, sorrow (without being suicidal) is better than laughter because when you're hurt inside, you can see everything around you so clearly, and understand things quite well too then from the next time you'll know what to do, and figure out how to make it better. Everyone has their own belief, that is why everyone knew there is something else out there somewhere...there is a creator who created this earth, people, animals, and everything else. As for myself, I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and Holy Ghost. I rely on them for strength. I know it's like over thousands and thousands of people who are already depressed about everything, and hate their own lives but I've always believe that I can make ONE or TWO persons out of thousands to be happy and be strong again by bringing that person to Jesus Christ and it's worth it. It makes my life worth living. I suppose, you can try save Carmela from getting herself hurt by being there for her more and remind her that she doesn't need boys to make her feel worth. You're a really kind girl to feel the pain, even it's not your own but you do feel for others.
from myhappiness :
I see you're staying cool, but you don't have to save all your stash for Rory, you know.
from jason75 :
am sure everything is fine.. looks good in fact!!! stop doubting yoruself
from jason75 :
will be great to settle down and get lots of cards and things!! yay! then you canholiday herte!
from jason75 :
still no permanent address but maybe next year!!!!! thanks for thinking of me tho
from bossique :
uh..Tarnia? Isn't razor-wire.diaryland.com belong to Stacey?
from bossique :
oh! thats wonderful news! But stupid me, I forgot to tell you something, not only that could means pregnancy but hormones too. Few weeks ago, I got so terribly worried that I might be pregnant but it turned out that I'm still growing, and my horomnes are raging...it was nuts! But of course Dean (my bf) was being the opposite.. he really wanted to have a baby but he knew that I'm not ready yet. So when I told him that I'm not preg yet..he got upset. How weird is that? Haha..anyway I'm glad you're okay now but hope you'll be ok through your days. :)
from bossique :
i suppose, you will know when you're pregnant is when your breasts, your back are really sore. You'll get so tired, get hungry, and sleep alot for no reasons but those are the signs of pregnancy. Hmm I hope you're not pregnant and I'm pretty sure you're not. You have alot of things to live for :)
from bossique :
im glad you moved on. I agreed with jason (just read the guestbook entry hehehe) have a great weekend girl!
from dunkodark :
not bad thanx, am not to sure of the rules bout talking to people under a certain age on the internet. am pretty sure it's a no no. And as I am 24 n i think ur 14. I think I could get into trouble.. so I will stop,, sorry.. Unless i am wrong bout the rules thing, jus don't wanna get in trouble.. i am such a wuss
from antisthenes :
Dramatic? Heavens, no. Life has never been better. Things are frightening- not bad. Not horrible. Actually quite great. I love this new perception. Unfortunately, I'm to take medication to end it.
from dunkodark :
hey u.. that would be cool, but i saved it to my puter n forgot it. wen i get round to gettin a new one i will defo let u sort it out for me.. thanx
from antisthenes :
I'm great. Things have never been so good. The nightmares are unfolding and I'm seeing things for what they are without illusion. My life is slowly coming to a close, and I've never been more content.
from antisthenes :
And life would go as it always had- the natural order of things demands it. With its constant ups and downs, with its never-ending delusions, and, of course, with its coping mechanisms, oh so sweet and ever so tender. We're trapped, bounding across a field of ignorance with bladeless scythes in hand. There's no way out. There never was. We've never had a blade for our scythe; what we have, all that we have ever had, is a conception of something better, of a way out. And along the many tangled paths there are outlets for our frustration, and along those outlets lie even more. Love. Hatred. Envy. Scorn. Vegeance. Righteousness. Gluttony. Vanity. Evil. Virtue. At the end of the day they all fall into the same category, and all rest on the same shelf. We give them clever names to make ourselves feel better about our existence and about our cluelessness. Call them what they are. Optimism is pessimism, and throw a few Orwellisms in there, what with the slavery and peace and all of that. I wish for these to be my final days; the prospect of death is the most exciting thing to ever happen to me. My life has been so tedious and neutral until now, the time when it may well be in jeopardy. I can only pray that when the day comes there will be hundreds of angry citizens screaming out their curses at me as I breathe my last.
from bossique :
haha!! too many "buts"!...I'm not thinking straight. I'm really feeling sick at the moment, hate it when that happens now. sorry about that.
from bossique :
I'm glad you loved that template, I love it too because I love Angelina Jolie as well and dark color but alot of people says i'm not the kind of person - you know.."dark people". Anyway, I like to say congratulation for having a 6 months relationship! I thought you guys were together more than that! :o) Love is a greatest feeling ever right? Eheheh. I'm in love right now, but I'm not in love with the one I'm going out right now though. ARGH! But, I am definitely in love with somebody else but he has a girlfriend at the moment, so I'm not going to do bother about it but I can only hope that one day we'll end up being together, but if not, then I'll be glad if he's going to marry her, and glad to know that there is always a guy for me. All I have to do is wait. :o) Sorry, I'm blabbing eh. take care.
from dunkodark :
thanks for the coments stoner-girl. i tried to sort out sum templates but fell flat on my face... Am not a great follower of jargon, and the screens I went to were fulof it...I'm glad u like my poems, got a shed load of 'em stored in my empty head. take care....
from bossique :
:), my life is alot easier and happier without jo now, and things are going great! which in fact I'm waiting for a friend to come by, he's gonna give me a good car ride...heheh. The funny thing is, sometimes I'd tell myself that I'd quit writing a diary on diaryland but somehow I just couldn't, and I'm addicted to it. The only way to quit that is when I don't have a computer anymore (but my mom&dad gave me a computer as early gift for my graduation though - go figure) or when I go on travelling alot. Haha...I just can't believe this...why didn't I have this kind of life in long time ago? I mean...I just knew, somehow I knew that Jo wasn't the one for me, and was always being careful around him (as you called him "control freak" - that made me laughed)...you know? Well anyway, at least we both are having a life, and enjoying it at the moment, but as for you? Life is pulling you down? You should go out, buy yourself a treat, get a blast, and laugh with your girlfriend if you can...Sometimes life is crazier than we think, and what's more important is that we learned our lesson that we should never fall for someone over the net! right? haha..ok I better go..my friend is here..and he said hi! hehehe..take care! -Im sorry, im hyper tonight.
from dunkodark :
soz stoner girl. Am a tas stoned, belive it or not.. Below is sposed to say Keep it real... I can be such a dumbass stoned mess.
from dunkodark :
I don't know anything bout Jo. But whatever the fuck was goin on there I think ur better off out of it. control freak. Laying on the old guilt trip. But tried twisting it even more when you were trying to escape. I can't understand why anyone would wanna do that 2 some one. bu then again there are many things I don't understand, and probably never will. Kpet it real stoner girl. Skin up a fat one, and let the gd times roll:) The other shit tends to take care of itself then.....
from bossique :
things gets really so tough and annoying sometimes, but at least it only last for a short time right? I'm sorry it didnt turned out wonderful for you yesterday and i hope you're okay right now...I'm glad you're stonger than that.
from bossique :
Ah, thanks. I wish my mom was a hippie lol, I used to love all hippies stuff, especially the clothes..lol. Anyway, thats cool! and sorry you couldn't be able to visit Ed :oS.
from bossique :
hi, im sorry to ask but what is fes?
from jason75 :
dont let anyone pigeonhole you sweets... you dont deserve to be in one
from bossique :
I think the template you are using right now is definitely perfect at the moment. :o)
from jason75 :
frightening stuff!!!!! hope you are ok sweets
from bossique :
Ha, thank you. I think I like the template for now...hehe.
from jason75 :
Ilike that survey but am doing my best to stay away from surveys.. at least until my stories run out
from bossique :
Tarnia, I can really understand on how do you really feel right now, and I can just give you all time you need, and I wasn't expecting you to be my "good friend" or anything special but hoping you'd forgive me. That's all I ever wanted. You know Tarnia, when I first read your diary, I've loved it and always have but until Jo was telling me about you and everything else..it confused me at first and I too didn't know what to believe but I chosed to believe Jo, in which right now it's my biggest regret for believing in everything he said. In the whole time you didn't do anything wrong, and it was Jo. He made up so many stories until 9 months ago, I've caught him lies alot of time but never said a word about it because I was waiting for him to feel the guilt but I guess he never feel anything like that. So, I kinda grew tired of him and getting so grouchy, and I lost myself, self-control. I was too upset, and up to now...I still feel that way but much better because of freedom. I'm free from him, and I can do whatever I want without a guilt. Tarnia, you're a truly young wonderful girl, and what he did to you was stupid, pathetic and only wanted to hurt you because you wouldn't love him back like before. 9 months ago was all starting that I wouldn't keep loving him, and that is why he's torturing me right now by loving other girl name Sophie. Sophie can't even see the truth, and now she's gonna get hurt like us. But it's not like we're gonna have to handle it or anything. Sophie will find out for herself too. I don't have a problem if you dont want to talk to me but all it matters to me is that I want you to know that you're wonderful, and I was just so pathetic and I'm really sorry. Lhester doesn't even existed, not even any of his family members, because I've never seen his photos, real photos, or seen him on webcam, we even never met in real life. I've never talk to his mom on the phone, I don't even know if she ever existed. Josh is not even existed too..Josh is Jo's "confessional priest" and josh talked is just the exactly same as Jo. Alot of weird and nonsense in between all of them. Bloodypen - That is Jo's because of his last name "penareal" so he made it "bloodypen". Josh always goes online on yahoo messenger before Jo comes on, or josh would come online after jo go offline. It's alot more than just that but too much to give all details and it's not worth it now. So I chosed not to believe any one of them and I don't give a fuck about them now. Just as long as I live in my own life without having anyone to be so demanding and controlling my life, having my dreams come true and get REAL BOYFRIEND IN HERE, not from the stupid internet. I was really stupid lol..well I'll stop now and I hope you'll take care and maybe one day, we'll talk when you're ready. Just stop by and leave me a note :o) take care Tarnia.
from antisthenes :
Back in the ring. What does the mean, anyhow? Lots of proverbs lately. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Misery loves company. Et cetera. You know how it goes- long and uncontrolled strecthes of wandering and brief moments of understanding to go with them. They never last. Eventually both die out, and we're back where we began. I wonder if I'll ever be any closer to understanding it all. It seems so gigantic and vague now, anything that I see in it is a result of my mind; nothing is concrete. It's like looking for shapes in clouds. They aren't really there. The shapes aren't designed that way. We perceive them in a certain way, that's all. And when I lean my head against the frosted over shower stall, I see things through the glass which I don't recognize one bit. Clouded. It's always been that way, and I don't foresee any change in the near future. That's not completely bad; I have another medium to channel any of the resulting emotions now. Writing has been here for quite some time, as has music; now painting has joined the party. I emphathize with Van Gogh. Things are changing quite rapidly, Tarnia. Wounds are healing, new ones are forming, and in time those too will heal and be replaced. And I'll be here, where I've always been. Thanks for your letter.
from pennygirl :
Do you know what Tarnia? You're totally right about Star, actually he doesnt deserve that name "star"...lets call him "pathetic worm" who needs to be shot in the head. I actually feel so sorry for him, and sophie now. I'm really sorry for all these time I blamed everything on u and others. I just feel alot better now and still hoping that you'd forgive me. And by the way..Lhester doesn't even existed..Star is lhester. Did you ever realize that? I'm sorry if Im reminding u all these but just wanted you to know that I'm really sorry, and you are a wonderful girl as I thought in the first place. Anyway, take care :)
from bella-amor :
Hey babe. Life's... not much different, but very different at the same time. I'll be back soon. Take care of you.
from antisthenes :
That, too. Not feeling anything is hardly believable. You feel enough to tell yourself that you don't. You feel enough to blow the apparent lack of feelings out of proportion. You feel enough to act in a way typical to humans; you're making the issue at hand bigger than it actually is in what seems like an effort to boost your own importance upwards, however backwards and twisted that is. Eat note, scum!
from crosover :
Hopefully, Adam has you on the right track now. He knows things. He's been there done that & back again. Listen to the mentor. Hope you get to feeling better.
from antisthenes :
Oh, Tarnia. You're being so damned dramatic, darling; too damned dramatic. If you stop caring about things, you stop caring about things. Don't make such a big deal about it.
from antisthenes :
And when you wake up from this existential funk, you'll find the dawn more beautiful than you ever have on mornings previous. You'll find the light to be more electric, the colors more crisp, the features of everything and everyone abounding towards you with all of their strength and fury, and you'll be at peace once again. These things always blow over, it's just the when that we get caught up on; in the end, it doesn't much matter either way when. The final result has already been tallied up, and we've already sorted out the right from the wrong and the good from the bad. Everything light is dark again, again, and living without that one source, that all powerful, all relieving blip of hope is a bit straining, I understand that completely; it will come back, though. And when it does you will see all that you've been blinded to, and be content and joyous. Happy Birthday.
from agentmoulder :
hey ur entries are good really intrigueing...
from bloodypen :
Tarnia it doesn't matter now, just leave it alone. I have my fault. I shouldn't have been so ambitious of befriending you guys.
from antisthenes :
Awake, my darling! Vultures fly overhead, the world waits for your beauty to astonish it, the sun shines brilliantly, cascading down leaves like a.. yellow.. shiny.. waterfall.. damn.. Nevermind. It's eleven over there- why would you need to wake up now? I am daft. I retned The Life of David Gale and O' Brother Where Art Thou?... Fun stuff. My apologies for the severe deficiency of sweet notes for you, my love.
from crosover :
Rory doesn't sound so good...well, I hope better today.
from starkitten01 :
Cool diary, I don't always have time to surf diaries lately, this was a nice change of pace:) You're welcomed to leave me a note if you'd like the password to mine anytime :)
from bloodypen :
maybe to you it doesn't matter but to me it does 'cause im innocent of whatever crime you're blaming me.
from bloodypen :
may i just please know what exactly my crime is?? what did u told stacey?. I may be insanely inlove with you as jo but im not as pathetic and backstabber shit as what u think. I don't push myself to anyone ok? i thought u knew me.
from antisthenes :
At school now. Talk more later, I promise. Hope your day was as draining as mine, darling (it looks that way).
from julesspeaks :
Before you know it Tarnia..you'll have you're own TV show from your room..
from antisthenes :
Remember what Ron Livingston said, in Office Space? "Every single day of my life is worse than the day before, so whenever you see me, that there is the worst day of my life". I'm in something of the same situation- every single day of my life brings me one day closer to being with you, Tarnia; my life is getting progressively better because of this. Sure, it's only natural that I'll have my depressions and my downs- but ultimately, that doesn't matter. Every single day of my life is better than the day before it, because in the end, it brings me closer to you.
from antisthenes :
This is not a very sweet note. This is me being clever.
from antisthenes :
Sometimes I really wonder by what blessing it is of mine that I know you. There is a story from greek mythology of an exquisite scultpor; he sculpted works of great beauty, of stunning relation to mankind. One sculpture, in particular, he worked on for years, into the decades, perfecting it; the form of a female body. The sculpture was so beautiful, so without flaw, that he begged the gods to take his life away so that his creation would have life, in exchange; this, I believe, is why you exist.
from antisthenes :
Sorry about that, Tarnia. My father kept needing the computer, and then Cheryl needed the phone. I really would've loved talking with you. Perhaps later, eh?
from antisthenes :
"Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." I had decided very early this morning that I was going to leave you a note, and that it wasn't going to talk about a few set things. For example, I knew for certain that there was no way I was going to talk about how much I love you and how much I appreciate you in my life. I wasn't going to talk about how I like to look back on our past and think about how each of us has evolved individually, and together. And I most certainly was not going to talk about my hopes for the future, between you and I. No, Tarnia, I wasn't going to talk about any of those things in a note to you, it was decided, because all of that sentimental crap- it doesn't suit me at all.
from julesspeaks :
I'll be updating both diaries most likely. Although, I haven't really been that much in to typing lately. Strange huh?
from antisthenes :
Hey! What happened to the drop down with a link to me?! HMMMMM!?
from antisthenes :
Wow! I feel so special, being mentioned in your diary like this. It's making me blush! (I didn't say stop)
from antisthenes :
Hiya. I've been enjoying our recent surge in conversations; it's a shame that your late morning/my early morning ones will have to end once school comes around, though =p
from littlealanis :
Thank you. Well, it makes me happy just to know i have a note other than mine. thanks!
from littlealanis :
Hey. U asked me why i added you as one of my favorite diaries. I just like the way it is written. Plus, for some reason, i don't do that thing where you skim the page like your in a hurry or something. I enjoy reading it. It keeps my attention for some reason :). And U ROCK TOO!!!!!!!!
from bloodypen :
i wish we could chat soon..we're not finish with the lyrics yet ;)
from antisthenes :
Wow- it's been a year, now, you know- since I found you, that is. No longer are you a mere hippy chick- nay, Tarnia! Now, you are a full-fledged, bona-fide Stoner Girl. Congratulations, love. I'd like to say a lot has happened in the past year, but I'm not partial to lying. Really, not much has happened at all- you've matured, that much is sure, and I've become more common during that time, I should think. Or perhaps not. No, definately not. I am as awesome as ever (though a bit more egocentric). So, uh- Happy Anniversary! May we have at least two happy years, and three bitter, feuding years together.
from see-n-stars :
It's not that I'm running out of things to say (I never will). I'm just having troubles sitting down to write them out. Everything is changing so quickly and I'm scared that if I sit down to write about something then I'll miss something. Maybe I'm just lame.
from jason75 :
life gets complicated quickly doesnt it! keep smiling and loving it
from orphanedlove :
just randomly reading diaries of people w/ similar interests..... eh, well... read mine if you like.
from see-n-stars :
Thanks doll. I love getting diaryland notes from people that I don't know. Makes me feel special, heh. But yah... It's nice to know that you enjoy my diary. It's too bad that I'm running out of things to say in it.
from bloodypen :
Who me?? Lying??? ofcourse not!! ;) MISS YOU QUEEN! i..i...errrrr i will be updating soonish.
from bloodypen :
darn! you seem to see deep through me. Ok, I still feel hollow inside but I'm honestly happy now. ---> :D
from bloodypen :
GOOD MORNING BABE :)...and yes, things are getting so much better for me. Hope to chat with you soon.
from jason75 :
is niec to have you back sweetheart!
from britneypink :
thanks for the hug. i needed that.
from razor-wire :
I did the same. I wasn`t stoned or pissed and yet I put it in the wrong window. I am bollocked typing this which means, that this may not make anysence. I am so glad aboutthe party now. I though I was going to just have to sit there and get minsed alone which isn`t as fun. *Mmm chicken super noodles* Also I am thankfull for the metion in your diary. I have already told him about Lee and he didn`t give a fuck. I may call for you a your first day back and we can go have a fag at the school. I have put in good words to Rob about you coming to his party. So hopefully we can talk somemore tommorrow. My mum isn`t speaking to me so if you phoned "Mucho mucho grande sorry!!!!". Try tomorrow at about 11am. Speak soon. Luv violet
from razor-wire :
Dude it was my dad! LOL Hey I wanna know when your back so phone as soon as you get this, if I am not in leave Mamgi's Number. There is this party after my sisters wedding and I was wondering do you wanna go? It should be a laugh. I am going to bring a pre-rolled joint, and we will be able to drink. Talk later I hope. Luv Violet
from myhappiness :
Hey, thanks for the cheer, the smiles and wanting to read more of your stuff. Hope you have a great year. bye.
from razor-wire :
Dude when you get back your coming for a mull. You`ll need it! I hope you are getting sleep over there. I would phone if you gave me the number! And remeber if you come back mad then you won`t be alone :P LOL!! Love Violet
from bloodypen :
I do miss talking to you queen. I wish we could chat again and talk about life. But it seems we're both busy with other stuffs at the moment. I hope absence won't wither our friendship.
from bloodypen :
I guess part of being human is feeling depressed and we always feel it the most whenever we're alone on ourselves. It's up to us to apply means and ways to avoid it if not bury it.
from britneypink :
so poignent as usual. now if I could spell that correctly. i'll be checking back daily. =)
from bloodypen :
hey girl, good to see you back. Been a long time without any chit-chat. Thanks for the note. You don't have to do that just for the reason that i have you on my list. But thanks. Will be reading a lot from you.
from myhappiness :
Hey there...yeah, you make me smile to. A lot. So keep on keep'n on now with your diaries and such stuff.
from britneypink :
You're as fab as always! Great Layout and the works.
from antisthenes :
Hey there kiddo. It's been too long since the notes escapade, hasn't it? When I was just a twig in the ocean that is diaryland; you were the log that kept me floating (I just called you a log). Now, I'm a moderate sized raft with a cooler. Will you be my schooner?
from bloodypen :
I'll be looking forward to your angelichate entries then.. Be well Tarnia. :)
from bloodypen :
hey babe, good to know you're back! :) I'm glad you really enjoyed your weekend. I'm doing great too nowadays, just trying to focus on some better things. ;) Hope to talk to you soon queen.
from skyblublondi :
Your diary is awesome! I love the layout, and your writting too. ps: it's a sign a random guestbook week, pass it on :)
from bloodypen :
well well ms. Taz, I don't mean to sound sarcastic. I just gave Stacey my own view about it. I'm sorry if that offended you. People have their freedom of views don't they? But i like to extend my sincere apology about it.
from razor-wire :
Why ain`t my password working????? Dude are you pissed off at me?? why??? DUDE!!!!!!!!

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