messages to randomrabbit:
(click here to add new message):

from onlyemma :
I miss your entries! Will you ever update again...? Always slightly inappropriate yet hilarious :) can the diaryland comment section handle emojis? We will find out: 😂 I really hope you are doing well!
from violetsmile :
Just the observation I'd expect from you! ;) :D x
from stepfordtart :
Your comments make me laugh, you silly arse. As does your diary, of which I have been reading juicy tidbits aloud to Jooj this morning, and guffawing like a spaz. s x
from violetsmile :
Are you just going to ignore me indefinitely?!
from losloco :
Just wanted to heap some praise onto you! Will that make you update?! Hope so! Recently added you, still hoping for an update! And by the way, couldn't agree more about Ulysses!!!
from buffylass :
I have NO idea what you're talking about but it sounds AMAZING!
from stepfordtart :
OMIGOSH! You dont update for ages and then you hit us with this. Laughing SO hard at your discomfort. I purchase undercrackers for L from Matalan and he has never complained about the exit hatch - on that basis I recommend them as an alternative. s x
from buffylass :
Thankyou! Am doing nothing but sleeping and eating, so hopefully that's going down well :)
from sunstargirl :
steal it!! it turned out pretty well without the eggplant. where on earth did we get the word "eggplant" out of aubergine? sometimes I really can't explain my own language...
from shot-of-tea :
PAHAHA, if only my thirteen year old self had been more grammatically aware (it's probably not even a grammar issue, and this from an English student. The youth of today, hey!)
from student-bum :
Thanks. It doesn't seem like 2 minutes since I was starting university. It's terrifying, isn't it, this relentless march towards our inevitable deaths... erm, yes, sorry. I'll just say thanks again and leave it at that before I depress us both! Hope you're keeping well pal x
from sunstargirl :
hahaha! I like it! You really need to write entries again because you're hilarious.
from sunstargirl :
Urine ads: random thought catheters since 1936!
from sunstargirl :
D'oh! *shakes head at thee!* hopeless, just hopeless.
from buffylass :
I did think about adding an impossibly long penis to the snowman, but then decided that I didn't want the neighbours to think I was a bit of a perv!
from violetsmile :
Do you realise you're just one entry away from 300? ;-)
from stepfordtart :
I go a bit wobbly if my inner thighs are stroked, too. Therefore, Professor Stepfie deduces that you are, most deffo, a Cat Wanker. Stay away from my kids. s x PS Was going to suggest courgette muffins but I guess they're not far enough removed from the cake you're already heartily sick of. Next year,leave em in a box outside your house with a crudely fashioned "Courgette. 10p each. put money through letter box" sign (best if the little girl next door helps with that - the 'possibly grown by a sweet child' factor will add to the generosity of passers by). People do that a lot around here with all sorts of stuff they've got a glut of. s x
from sunstargirl :
LOL, no, definitely not up the duff! Thanks Tim!
from student-bum :
Oh well, it's been sitting there for nigh on 6 hours now and I kneaded the fuck out of the bugger... I may just take it out and make some doomed bread with it anyway, see how it turns out. Domed, and doomed, I expect.
from student-bum :
The recipe is 250g flour, 150ml water and 1tsp baking powder, and I've popped it in the airing cupboard. Hopefully it works this time... if not, I give up.
from student-bum :
Take me with you? I imagine it'd be fun.
from buffylass :
Practically ran down to the Argos on Angel St on Friday night and bought their last PS3 in stock. It's the most amazing thing ever, if if I am now technically a pauper.
from jumblygiant :
You always make me laugh. Glad you posted an entry. I owe you several emails and a package. I am a slacker. xo my dearie. have a great weekend.
from violetsmile :
No-one can say you haven't tried! All I can say is, god help Dolly-Sue Clampitt Walton!
from stepfordtart :
Mmmm, nice buns. Oh, and not a bad looking pussy either. Oh, Im all the double entendre, me. s x
from sunstargirl :
your notes always make me snort fluids out my nose.
from violetsmile :
Mmmmmm minced pork non-Wellingtons!! Sound yummy! Haloscan is apparently deceased so I haven't risked leaving a comment for you there, despite the pop-up still opening. I might have to nip in and remove that for you. Oh, and Tuesday night telly?! Yep, I gave up and went to bed at 9!
from sunstargirl :
he's really doing a number on our socks. I guess it's lucky for him that I won't be needing any of my right socks any time soon. Funny how my last message was about how I broke both feet several years ago... well, I broke my foot again this weekend!
from sunstargirl :
That's nothing compared to the year in college where I stepped off a curve to unload my car full of crap into the dorms on the first day of school a broke my foot. I was laid up for 8 weeks. As soon as I got my cast off we decided to celebrate. On our way to the party I fell down some stairs and broke my OTHER FOOT! Another 8 weeks of social isolation on campus before I could rejoin the bi-pedaled.
from student-bum :
Also, bit late now, but had I known earlier I would have warned you not to eat rice when you have a cast. My mum's still got mine in my 'memory box' (read: creepy memorabilia) and if you want to know what 11-year-old rice looks like... it don't look pretty.
from student-bum :
4 weeks is right, yep. I had a cast when I was 10 on my left wrist, funnily enough. Except I got a bright orange one because I was only a wean. Well done on the epic clumsiness. Did you get all the flaking skin when it was taken off? I remember spending the afternoon at school watching everyone play rounders while I gently stroked my arm to brush the thousands of white flakes off. It was like it was snowing... in May.
from violetsmile :
Do you read your comments (haloscan)?? Should I be taking a hint here??! :-p
from sunstargirl :
cheese-based snacks, hm? I just might take you up on that.
from sunstargirl :
haha, glad you liked my first movie! But if you liked that one, you'll love my second one even more. I pulled out all the stops this time.
from sunstargirl :
haha, is it terrible that I'm happy you share my pain? Misery loves company?
from onlyemma :
Oh, you do make me laugh.
from sunstargirl :
gotta love the '70s. That's not as bad as my dad's song though. His birthday came up with something by Doris Day. Now THAT is old.
from sunstargirl :
you and your walkabouts. I swear you were an Australian in a past life. To answer your question, there are a lot of bears in Washington state. I've seen two now since moving up here, but actually the elk are much more aggressive. I've heard rumors that moose also sometimes come down from Canada, but haven't seen any myself. By the way, doesn't England have wolves? Hence all the scary caucasian bedtime stories about them? I was petrified of them as a child because of those blasted stories and could not be persuaded by my poor father that it was illogical to think a wolf could live under my bed when I also had a trundle bed under there.
from buffylass :
T'was your who reminded me of the brilliance of Joni, and thus thoroughly depressed me. Have requested we learn A Case Of You for our next song, again all down to you. Bravo, sir!
from sunstargirl :
you chicken pen is huge! Seriously, I bet my whole apartment could fit in there.
from marzipanmind :
Well played, sir! I see what you did there. Also, the Truth Truck sounds like a marvellous idea. There is no Santa Claus! Your arse looks enormous in those pants! You need to buy stronger deodorant! Some things just need to be said, no matter how unpopular. You want the Truth Truck? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH TRUCK. (Because I cut the brakes.)
from sunstargirl :
sounds like it was quite the adventure. I like the pictures, especially the "nazi" one, hahahahha. I can see the family resemblance between you and the nephew, though you don't look like you're at all old enough to have a teenage nephew.
from student-bum :
I can try for you, m'dear, but you may have to settle for something else - probably something with less hair. But like I said, I'll try ;)
from sunstargirl :
That's awesome though! But I completely understand about feeling like you have no idea what you're doing. This project very well be dead at the end of the month. I don't really know how to grow anything, let alone real food, and I have a tendency to over-water. I think I'm better at making mulch than cucumbers.
from sunstargirl :
not at all. :D thanky very much. Oh, and sitting - the new American National Pastime.
from sunstargirl :
haha, but isn't there some rule against biting the hands that feed you? If not, there definitely should be.
from sunstargirl :
uh-oh, are they sick?
from sunstargirl :
did you read the story about speaking british?
from sunstargirl :
You are officially the funniest man alive! Seriously though, I think you pull off bald well. I've seen your mug and I didn't even notice until later entries when you mentioned it. Think 'Bruce Willis.' He's bald, still has tons of sex appeal. It works on him. I think it works on you as well... as long as you never, ever, EVER do the three greasy hairs combed over the top of your head thing. *shudder*
from onlyemma :
oh that entry made me laugh!
from toiletwater :
I completely understand! I probably own at least 15 books right now that I haven't read. For some reason I am compelled to keep buying books despite this!
from sunstargirl :
bwahaha! Best entry EVAR!! I just laughed so hard I gave myself the hiccups. Thanks a lot. Also, I will try that relish next time I make the stew. :)
from sunstargirl :
Oh! ps - relish? like mashed up pickles? in Irish stew? you crazy.
from sunstargirl :
silly Rabbit, Guinness comes in six packs, you only need one cup for the stew. I drank a few myself while cooking that night. Don't tell Bear though. We're not supposed to be drinking anymore... although, I think he kind of noticed because I had a total fit of giggles over nothing.
from sunstargirl :
kilojoule? *blank stare* You guys are just so cute with your little nonsensical measuring systems. I do so love discovering these minute differences though, don't you?
from buffylass :
T'was the New Barrack Inn. A pub not known for its efficient central heating.
from sunstargirl :
it's the slow cooker that did it. A man can't compete with a slow cooker. Very tough decision you have. I guess you have to ask yourself, which will you regret more, going to Tom's wedding or not going to Tom's wedding?
from sunstargirl :
bwahaha, you owe me a new pair! :P
from jumblygiant :
yay, an update! love ya.
from sunstargirl :
Tim!! That is absolutely brilliant! You're a GENIUS!! I'm going to do it. Oh, thanks for the b-day wishes, it's going to be an awesome warmed socks and knickers day!
from sunstargirl :
meal worms and butt lubricant, oh how glad I am that you're updating again!! :D
from onlyemma :
I miss you too! I will write, soon. I will, I will.
from stepfordtart :
Floating fooooood! What an ACE idea! The other stuff is pretty workable too....ok, possibly not the Buck Rogers Rhumba. Thanks so much for the suggestions - and the happy-foo wishes. s x
from sunstargirl :
oh no! now you're going to be known as the Stinky Guy at work!! hahaha
from sunstargirl :
hot dog! thanks for the feedback! yeah, that one has unanimously been declared the favorite by all my coworkers at the studio too.
from sunstargirl :
hahaha, fantastic theory!!
from buffylass :
Despite being very late with this reply email, I was on the balcony too! Though to the very right of the stage, and near the front of the balcony. I was with a very tall thin boy, and was looking typically short and scruffy personally. He was jolly funny, wasn't he? Also, PLEASE KEEP UPDATING
from student-bum :
Yes! Notes can be added! I tried to add a pleading NOOO DON'T LEAVE US WE'LL WITHER AND DIE note after your last entry but couldn't for some unfathomable reason. Anyway, erm... oh, I appear to have said what I came to say. Buggery. Hope you and the chickens are doing well.
from onlyemma :
That is indeed jelly by the spreadables. Raspberry, to be procise. It's the one thing that I always think I'll enjoy making and will be willing to put the two minutes effort in and then wait, but I never do it. I've had that pack for 4 months. How are you? I need to catch up on your diry; are you on facebook yet?! Now that's a question. P.S. I'd let you tidy my cupboards, they're always a state and I could do with a hand!
from sunstargirl :
oh my freakin god! your notes are turned back on! now I can harass you again! yipee! I was really sad that you left DL for awhile and I couldn't even tell you because your notes were turned off. I hope you are feeling less sad/angry now. I've been very worried about you. I agree that fall is beautiful and definitely has a unique smell. Thank you for your note of condolences and encouragement, and thank you for telling me which photos you liked best. I think you know how to operate a camera just fine because I always love your photo updates. Never ever go away like that again. You're not allowed. >:o !!!
from sunstargirl :
I forgot to thank you for taking the time to figure out that interest rate, so thank you. It occurs to me, however, that such a rate is, well, impossible! So now I'm rather worried this is some kind of banking error. I'm not sure what to do about it. Thank you also for being the only one to respond to my question about comment sections so I don't totally feel like I'm talking to myself.
from student-bum :
Well, quite, and it would be almost flattering too. Almost.
from sunstargirl :
Well, ahem, that's alright then. No need to get all worked up about it and make a scene.
from sunstargirl :
*jaw drops* WHAT?!?!!? That is a dirty lie! I... You!... *runs away and cries*
from student-bum :
"Also... I got my first egg. And promptly did what a lot of fathers probably should do with their offspring - ate it." I hold you responsible for making me look like a mad woman in public, as I am cackling away to myself in the library thanks to that.
from buffylass :
I'm rather egotistically assuming that you want the keys - it's mouse/love.
from buffylass :
What about if they moved slowly in a boring standardized jig that is pre-programmed?
from sunstargirl :
Touch� about our geography skills - ouch! That hurt! And I must say that bit about writing a letter made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a very long time. I had to post it, it was just so FUNNY! Thanks for playing.
from sunstargirl :
haha, you make British women sound so bizarre... or maybe it's that British men are extra slovenly?
from student-bum :
Hehe, Cecilia the chicken! I got asked in an (important, alas) email today 'who Cecil is'. It was very embarrassing.
from student-bum :
*did you have, damnit, have. I am tired. (And yes, I am satisfied I spelled Ermintrude correctly. Huzzah!)
from student-bum :
Ooh cool, chickens! My first 'proper' boyfriend had chickens. But I'm sure you're a better sort than that stupid hippy twat. Hmm, name suggestions... I'd only suggest stupid things like Ermintrude, which I can't even spell and will probably end up Googling, so I shall leave that to other people. Or maybe I'll have some sort of brainwave. Unless you would name one Cecil - throughout my school years a trademark of mine was a small chicken drawn on my books etc and it was called Cecil (for reasons unknown) and it's even the 'inspiration' for my email address. I suppose you could go with Cecilia or Celia. Hmm. Anyway. Were you not at Tan Hill Inn on your hike a few weeks/months back? Because I was there tonight! We stumbled on it on our Mystery Tour. Did you had 'Tracy's Special'? We did... turns out to be a giant Yorkshire pud with ice cream and jam. It works oddly well. I think I've talked enough now.
from sunstargirl :
chickens?!?! hahaha wtf?!? You have the best stories! I wish you'd update more often, this stuff is gold! I also think your chicken coop looks really impressive. I can't believe you built that. Guys who know how to use tools are very... impressive. I was going to make a sexual reference but I decided that wouldn't be appropriate. Hilarious update though.
from sunstargirl :
hey! I said arm!! wrist is part of the arm! I should get a cookie for being closest at any rate. I couldn't even make the slightest sense of that first sign without reading your commentary about it. It just seemed like random words on a chalkboard to me. Those mannequins look like they're trapped in the display case.
from sunstargirl :
I call arm!!
from sunstargirl :
"While I�m quite fond of the idea of charting my slide in to obesity with tables and colour graphs..." LMAO!
from buffylass :
Ha, go us! Man, and I LOVE KitKats. I may just take you up on that!
from student-bum :
Ha, in all honesty it never occurred to me and, again in all honesty, I doubt it'd look that good on me! Colin would appreciate it, naturally, but he might have got all drunkenly violent if anyone did actually lech on me like they did the week before. I guess it shows he cares...
from student-bum :
I'm sorry about wee Lily, she looks so cute in that picture :( Well done on the walk though, looks tough! Hoping more updates come soon, it's been a stupidly long time.
from shot-of-tea :
Aw, so sorry about your cat. You should have adopted one of those lovely lambs, and then you could have ate it by the time it turned into an ugly sheep.
from sunstargirl :
wow! what a hike! you're hardcore man.
from jumblygiant :
hi sweetpea. I missed your birthday. I am such a turd. I hope you had a great birthday weekend and a lovely next year of your life filled with sex and fun and happiness. miss your updates. talk to you soon.
from onlyemma :
Thank you for the luck! it worked! i think i owe you an email don't I?
from violetsmile :
Btw, I wrote The National entry before I knew you were there!! Promise!
from sunstargirl :
update please.
from violetsmile :
"sickly sweet mixed with stale pikey", lol! I love you!
from sunstargirl :
I don't think peeing in a reservoir can be illegal because thousands of fish are peeing in it anyway, so it's not as if it really matters. mmm, fish pee!
from sunstargirl :
I had to lock up. May I have your email, if you are comfortable with it, so I may send you a password? I'll delete your note as soon as I receive it to keep your info private.
from portlypete :
Update So that's Internet Explorer one, Firefox nil. OK, so it wasn't a Parker either.
from portlypete :
Thanks for the tip - I'm off to the stationery cupboard right now. ps I seem to have trouble with your diary due to the juxtaposition of black text and a Parker pen.
from sunstargirl :
LOL! It's funny 'cuz it's true! That made me laugh out loud.
from buffylass :
Aww thankyou! Don't worry, I'm coming back qutie soon - I'm missing moaning quite a lot already.
from ava-reborn :
Okay, now you KNOW you have to elaborate!!!!!! And how the hell did I did I not know about this??!!!
from ava-reborn :
ME, about fucking time????!!!!! You're not far behind mister!!!!
from sunstargirl :
wow, hope your friend wants to be a dad.
from konbu :
I am oddly fascinated with the grey hairs. I've never seen a magpie ( I googled up a picture of one to see what it was)! I like Rossini's "The Thieving Magpie" (La Gazza Ladra) though.
from ava-reborn :
I'm loving your comments! :-)
from ava-reborn :
By the way, did you like how my "Dear Mr Twatty Pants" letter was so similar to the type you write!! And long before I'd started reading you! :-)
from ava-reborn :
Not sure I do know, no. You mean in a *sigh* way?? ;-) I don't like to think of the bubble bathly pain!! But I am glad you're reading them! :-)
from ava-reborn :
Lol!! The anal virginity loss thing??!!
from shot-of-tea :
On the celebrity-guessing-things-on-telly thread, I always liked Call My Bluff on days when I was "too sick" for school.
from sunstargirl :
yeah, he found me. We were both just pen pals through here for about 2 years, reading about each other's failed relationships, etc. Neither one of us thought much of it... then I happened to be traveling near to where he lived in the country, and on kind of a whim I asked him if he'd like to meet in person while I was in the area. We met and realized that what we had was something special. Then we had to make a decision, do we try to do this or do we continue living 22 hours away from each other? I moved up to where he was and got a short lease to try to see if it would work. It was crazy and scary, but two and a half years later we're still going strong. It's sometimes weird to admit that we met online, but more and more people are doing it with success. I wish you and your new lady all the success in the world.
from sunstargirl :
I have a rabbit picture all ready to go for you, but I can't post it until you update. Also, I'm new to your blog but am I reading correctly that you've met a lady friend through DL? Reason I ask is because my boyfriend and I met through DL as well. Been living together now for almost 2.5 years.
from sunstargirl :
you're right, it is more of an incentive program than blackmail. Yes, I will draw you a rabbit!
from student-bum :
The best part is it was true. I do wish I had photos...
from ava-reborn :
So, TJ, done anything of interest lately??!! *ahem*
from ava-reborn :
I love you too!! You Northern freak!!
from ava-reborn :
Sorry for being a big jealous girlie!!! Love you!
from ava-reborn :
So you still would have her?!?! Hope you're glad you've stuck by your guns!!
from ava-reborn :
Who knew there was such a thing as Fish Odour Syndrome!! Hey, these girls are getting way too excited about seeing your spuds!! Do I have some eyes I need to scratch out?!?!!
from student-bum :
Dad and I saw a bit of the fish programme. It was stupid. Also, I dreamt last night that you picked your username because randomrabbit is a word used in a Bronte book for... erm... I can't remember. Something like ecetera. It was bizarre.
from stepfordtart :
Nothing half so satisfying as peeking at a bloke's spuds. Thanks for that. And thanks for adding me (and for your kind comment!) - I forgot to come over here and tell you I'd added you, but I guess you know that already. s x
from student-bum :
Wonderful spuds. Next time you could always do a Morris dance of fertility to see if you could grow more of them... :P And of course, a man *can* enjoy watching other men mince around like twats weilding sticks, but not surprisingly I'm not a great fan of Morris dancing. Mostly because I had to kiss the bastards, argh.
from onlyemma :
nice spuds!
from student-bum :
After your praise of Morris dancing, you have severely gone down in my estimations...
from student-bum :
I think the cause of my itching knee is a flea-bite... I hate my dogs at the moment, I truly do. Poppy seems to have separation anxiety, which apparently includes me going to the sodding loo. She stands outside the door whining. And thanks about the driving test!
from onlyemma :
I forgot to mention how much I love that hat! Though I once made a visor out of a paper bag, which is still a hard one to beat. I will email you back soon, as you may be able to tell from my lack of entries, I'm being a bit lazy. Therefore it's perfectly acceptable for you not to have written any of our future best seller :P
from bobbiedylan :
haha that show is so much better than effin work! and i have been super lazy about updating and i am going to seriously try to be better...
from ava-reborn :
I warned you there'd be a queue forming! ;) Love you! x
from catsoul :
Hey there, the hat needs to go into production, you have a hotty hat!! Give in, give in...go watch BB8(Big Brother 8) I am hooked on it this year. Now with Showtimetoo having it on for three hours I get all the extra scoop. Showtimetoo is doing a taping of BB8 After Dark it is called. Anyhoo, just a lovely picture of you, "the hat," & the "john!" =^..^=
from student-bum :
I LOVE the hat! A truly amazing piece of headgear. That'll have me chuckling to myself for the rest of the day. Oh, and I thought the colouring-in was incredible, an astounding piece of modern art... :D
from anibananie :
You are officially brilliant! I would love to see said hat, however... it sounds divine :P
from ava-reborn :
Cow shit or not, I'd still do you!!! Love you! ;)
from pimlico :
You saw The Sharp? What was he doing? Preening his mullet, perhaps?
from errantnights :
what gives this mess some grace
from onlyemma :
Seriously? Cos I do. We can do some weird different perspectives type of thing. Email me: [email protected] (an email address obviously embracing the inner chav) :)
from onlyemma :
Oh yes, gingerbread man boobs! How could I have forgotten! How's your day? Do you want to write a book with me?
from onlyemma :
You talked about man boobs in your last note and I can't remember why. Were they GBM man boobs?
from onlyemma :
You know, I was thinking the same thing. I realised they're actually the gingerbread man's pupils and they were going for realism. Though I dare not mock the gingerbread man artistery! For I couldn't ice a biscuit like Morrisons do, it should be admired. Yes, your notes are quite GBM full, however so are mine so I don't think you have anything to worry about. We're in it together my friend! You'll notice I didn't actually buy the men; just took a photo of them in Morrisons...
from ava-reborn :
Yay!! I got the photo evidence of your naked entry!!! And no-one else did!! Ner ner ne ner ner!!! x
from ava-reborn :
Haha!! Um, fool!!! Loveable fool!!
from ava-reborn :
Fool!! I love you, but you're a fool! ;)
from ava-reborn :
Houseboy?! Hmmm! I'm back! Hope your weekend wasn't too torturous! So, you're advocating the "sex bannned if you have neighbours" in place of the "smoking banned in places of work" law??!!! x
from jumblygiant :
start packing houseboy. hope you are having a fantastic weekend. my kittybabies can't wait to have someone else join their Army O'Cats. xoxo.
from anibananie :
Hmmm?
from vintagepearl :
Those pictures are rad and it makes me want to graffiti the hell out of something. Which reminds me, I once wrote song lyrics on the wall of my closed down middle school along with a couple others. We were like "OUR WORDS WILL BE HERE TOGETHER, WE'LL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!" Then they tore our middle school done. So our words are shot. Happy trails.
from bobbiedylan :
yes sometimes i smell like strawberries and cream... unless im like, leaving the gym or something like that. but thanks for finally doing the six things - its about damn time.
from onlyemma :
I've never had such a piss-filled note! Bravo, bravo :) Is my smell piss by any chance? Best case scenario, gingerbread man?
from anibananie :
And I feel the need to add: you did 7 weird things, not 6. And I *hope* it's #4 that isn't entirely true. But yay for updates, it's distracting me from revision! :D
from anibananie :
What's my smell then? And I don't even mind if it's the haddock... it's better than dog piss, which is what my house currently smells of thanks to the Evil One. Sigh.
from ava-reborn :
So, what's my smell? Is mine the 4 day old haddock?? Just to better match your 4 day old kippers smell?!
from anibananie :
Oh that's good! In a way. Slightly worrying that you have such a list, though...
from onlyemma :
Not quite... It's more about the good feeling. When you save it for ages and then you go, it feels amazing. Especially if you practically cripple yourself in the process and need to be given a fireman's lift to the bathroom. Are yours usually off-target then? :P
from ava-reborn :
Ok, time's up! You've been back from your weekend away long enough! There are people here waiting for an update!
from onlyemma :
you are the best thing since sliced bread. That entry really made me laugh.
from anibananie :
(5 minutes later) - you spelled it incoherent... This is really going to irritate me! Just checked it online (sad, me? Never) and damnit, you were correct. I shall go and weep for my inner pedant's immortal soul. Have a good day :) (I know I've spelled pedant right anyway.)
from anibananie :
Speaking of which, this has been bothering me (not to the extent I can't sleep, mind) - is it coherant or coherent? ...I need a cup of tea.
from anibananie :
I KNOW I can't spell, so never fear... I've never been able to spell properly. Every word I type looks WRONG! I get a's, e's and o's mixed up all the time (I will never know how to spell appearance/appearence). Beating you to death with a dictionary is an amusing image - though just after I typed that last sentence (or is it sentance? Aaargh) my mum rang to ask if Poppy was in the house because she saw something Poppy's size and colour run over on a road near our house, and now I can't stop laughing!
from anibananie :
I must correct my spelling: license. License license license, damnit. It'll bother me otherwise.
from anibananie :
Now I feel slightly cheated. I had to do the theory hell, and my practical will be 40 minutes long. Grrr. Oh, and I get the joy, the ULTIMATE JOY, of having a lisence photos where it looks like I'm having a really bad nosebleed. Still, at least I don't look like Miss Piggy, as Rachel described herself on hers.
from anibananie :
You're coherant even when you're drunk. Good for you!
from sunstargirl :
lol, knicker sniffer is awesome!
from bobbiedylan :
Tagged! This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.
from atavist :
i would have said poppet, too. maybe just a dismissive "dear" - pleasantly you're such an old lady tone?
from anibananie :
Because 'love', 'sweetheart' and 'flower' aren't too gay at all. No, not at all. I'd suggest something like 'poppet', though that sounds a bit creepy. Call him 'twatface' and be done with it.
from anibananie :
Aw, I'm sorry, I feel mean now...! Luckily for you, I've never heard The Fall Guy theme tune so I can't ruin that for you. Right, I shall go back to making a top hat and Freud beard for a teddy bear (all will become clear later) and leave you to your evening.
from anibananie :
Prepare for the ultimate in Sad: I just downloaded the theme tune and checked it against the entry title... and now, as far as I am aware, it is correct. I have nothing better to do with my afternoon off, evidently!
from anibananie :
At the beginning? Probably. Having never seen the A Team I wouldn't know... I shall add them in anyway.
from anibananie :
Shame on you, deep shame. Though I made a spectacularly bad pun today and I can't for the life of me remember what it was. It's now driving me slightly mad.
from anibananie :
Well, darker and hairier than your average Englishman...
from ava-reborn :
Posh? Me? Just because I speak proper English unlike you Northerners!!!! ;) Thanks for making my weekend!! ;)
from ava-reborn :
Ah, Grasshopper, you raise a good point!!! Can't see the South of England voting for the North either! Or vice versa come to that! Hence the subtle flaw in my plan!! By the way, [email protected] is my email!
from ava-reborn :
Latvia blokey reminded me of someone too!! Don't know who though. Yep, lezza won! At least we didn't come last! I reckon we should do the same as Yugoslavia! Let's all split up and enter as half a dozen different places!!! For a start we could have Scotland and Wales separately! Then, Berkshire, Devon, Kent, Cheshire, Northampton. Might stand a chance with votes then!!
from ava-reborn :
Haha!! Is there something our parents aren't telling us??!! Were we actually separated at birth?? Did you see the little boy from Latvia (I think) with the red braces announcing the votes? Surely it's past his bedtime???
from ava-reborn :
Hahahaha!!! I had little notes in brackets for some of the songs too!! Like Greece I wrote Ricky Martin!! Serbia I wrote lesbian!! Ukraine I wrote Timmy Mallet!! Dear oh dear, we're never going to get any points in Eurovision if we keep insisting of invading countries!!! Oh the shame of being the only one left on nil points!!
from ava-reborn :
So you're the other person still with analogue!! I knew I wasn't the only one!! Yes, teletext did used to do translations! But then, years ago everyone HAD to sing in their own language. Ukraine and Greece got my vote! ('Though I didn't actually vote!) Now, bring on the politics!!!
from ava-reborn :
I woz robbed! Teletext are only showing exact subtitles!! Not translations!! Bastards!! Is this my punishment for hanging on to analogue and notjumping ship to digital??????
from ava-reborn :
Ooooh, I just thought, what I said about staying in to watch Eurovision not being unmanly still stands, so long as you're not doing what we've been doing today, watching it on YouTube and learning the dance for tonight!!
from ava-reborn :
Oh teletext translation, of course! A must! What do you mean more manly than staying home to watch Eurovision??!! I think it takes a very masculine man, comfortable with his manliness and his sexuality to openly enjoy Eurovision!!! (Does that help??) Yep, my mum is fairly similar to yours! The most recent incident was the other day when she called to ask what to do about her pc. She said her anti-virus program had flashed up saying that it had detected a virus risk. So she had turned it off and unplugged it at the wall!! She asked me if it would be safe to plug it back in! I'm surprised she didn't call the doctor in case the virus was contagious!
from anibananie :
When I first saw this year's entry I laughed myself stupid for well over fifteen minutes, simply because the campest male said, "Would you like something to SUCK off the landing, sir?". Infantile, yes. But what was more worrying was that my mother rather likes him, and kept saying how he's a 'nice young boy' (which is mum-speak for 'phwoar'). Shudder.
from ava-reborn :
GREAT idea!!! That would save half of my mum's calls to me!! My vino is chilling in the frodge, and the Chinese delivery menu is by the phone, we're all set for tonight Euro spectacular too!! I love every minute! Terry Wogan is a god!
from ava-reborn :
Ok I'll spank you!! But don't call me bandy!!
from onlyemma :
Oh and I feel very proud that you thought of me when you ate a gingerbread man :) If I ever find one with chocolate trousers I will send you it, they seem to be becoming a bit of a rarity.
from onlyemma :
Thank you for the luck you gave me in your last note. I did, in fact, need it. I was a bit of an appalling mess at times. I'll write it soon but the computer that contains my half-written entry on Word, has crashed and I can't be bothered to write it again. Hope you're ok.
from ava-reborn :
Hmmm.... I hate to shatter the illusion but, no, sorry, I can't say I've shared those same thoughts about Fiona Bruce! As for the voting thing, why yes indeed, they may just like the colour blue, you clever old stick!! ;)
from anibananie :
It does somewhat, yes.
from ava-reborn :
Well Finlay (my Belgian Shepherd) is sometimes referred to as B.O.B, too! As in Beast Of Berkshire. I like having a Bob with you! ;)
from pimlico :
Happy birthday!
from anibananie :
Well, it IS rather long...! But it's not like it'll have people running for the hills. (And I can't talk, I suppose, since I have extra bones in my feet.) Your resistance in leaving me a note about being a bit of a lezza - I love your choice of words, by the way! - is now void seeing as you referenced it. Alas. But plus points for resisting it for a few days, at least.
from onlyemma :
Happy belated Birthday! And why did you prop your foot up against a TV? Though I see snooker was on, so it must've been better than watching that. But yes, anyway. Thank you for your hello note and happy birthday again, as the birthday wishes at the beginning of this note don't seem particularly sufficient.
from anibananie :
Happy birthday! Sounds like a fun weekend. And I disagree about feet, feet are brilliant. I am intrigued by the length of your second toe (there's something you don't hear very often).
from ava-reborn :
Exsqueeze me??? Your birthday??!!! You kept that quiet mister!! A belated happy birthday to you!! I'm glad you had fun! And that you had a good weekend! That is soooo exciting about the foxes!! Did you see that Cutting Edge programme about foxes? As for Lilypie, I know it's not unheard of, but it's incredibly rare for foxes to attack cats!! Especially urban foxes. So I wouldn't worry. We have a lot of foxes around here, and I've never known of a cat being hurt by one! I am so jealous of you having a den in your garden!! I want my own Basil Brush in my garden!!
from onlyemma :
Hello :)
from anibananie :
I used the same phrase twice! Argh. I cannot let that - I mean, it bothers me. RIGHT, I promise to stop plaguing you with notes now, I'm starting to feel like a stalker.
from anibananie :
Shush you. I am a punctuation pedant; I couldn't let it lie! Sheffield's practically Lancashire anyway. It may as well come over to the dark side.
from anibananie :
I have to correct this: I never did see the memorial as a giant cock; now part of my childhood is gone forever. I couldn't let it lie. I shall stop bothering you now.
from anibananie :
Sorry to bother you again, but oh my word, Ecky-Thump comes from Lancaster?! And here I was thinking Lanky was such a shitty little place. And sadly, having checked the uncyclopedia page for Lancaster, they're fairly accurate (I never did see the memorial as a giant cock now; part of my childhood is gone forever). I am miffed to see they've mentioned the lads' grammar (LRGS) and not our humble LGGS, though they're worryingly accurate in calling the boys "homo-erotic and pathetic". Good stuff.
from anibananie :
I must be psychic: as soon as I pressed 'Submit' last night, I knew I'd get a note from you about women having boobs. I thought of a witty reply as well but alas, it was replaced by sobriety this morning. I'll probably remember it soon, but of course it's too late now. Your MD sounds like my old boss at Waterstone's - she'd come up behind me as I was serving and pat me on the bum. And Dland must have been knackered. I thought it was just my PC!
from bluemeany :
Hello! When I am reading a person's profile and it makes me snort with laughter, I feel as though I should at least give them mad propz for pulling that off. So, mad propz to you, and your fantasic taste in books and music!
from anibananie :
Excellent! Hmm, yes, a dance. Maybe to the apocalyptic-rave BBC news theme?
from anibananie :
I have an overwhelming need to tell you this: I got Bill Bailey tickets! Yay.
from ava-reborn :
Oh so you were the other passenger on that bus! Have a good weekend lovely!
from pimlico :
Thank you for sharing my apricot related pain...
from anibananie :
You're welcome - I take it you've signed up for the newsletter so you can get tickets earlier?
from ava-reborn :
Phew! Thanks for putting my mind at rest! You had me worried there for a bit!!
from jumblygiant :
oh rabbit, i have sincerely never had a better offer. i accept. now i have to go find out exactly where Belgium is and what language they speak. xoxo..
from jumblygiant :
oh rabbit. can we just get married and move somewhere wonderful already? I promise one blow job and one decent hot homemade meal each week. In addition to other normal stuff. I hope YOU have a weekend of sex, drugs and rock and roll. or at least one of the three. or all of the three. and more. love ya.
from anibananie :
Rest assured you punctuated correctly. It warmed the cockles of my pedantic heart.
from pimlico :
I have no idea what Amstrad do these days. Perhaps sir Alan is in fact a gruff penniless cockney wastrel and The Apprentice is all a set up and the candidates are competing for nothing but a chance to look twattish on TV. (pimlico - formerly sopeculiar)
from onlyemma :
Sorry for taking ages replying to your last note, I wrote a giant one about gingerbread man eating and my computer crashed, the bastard. You got it right though, but the crucial part is the last bite, which has to contain the most icing/chocolate/a smartie. It's a terrible business when they give them chocolate trousers though. Your last entry made me laugh out loud twice, I was on tenter-hooks waiting for you to update. Enjoy your toilet christening. Lambrusco hey? Steady on.
from anibananie :
Bonnie is fond of chasing cats and would probably eat one given half the chance, so unless you have it in for the poor moggy it's probably not the best idea... even WITH the promise of said pictures!
from bobbiedylan :
thank you. i am always very amused and entertained (and yea sometimes confused) when i read yours. ;-)
from bobbiedylan :
yea i dont get it. is this because i am: a. american b. dumb as a rock c. a non-fish eater
from anibananie :
I LOVE the cake sketch! I can see now that my afternoon is going to spent in this seat watching clips. But wasn't the woman in the cake sketch in The Day Today? Could have sworn she was.
from anibananie :
I didn't, I shall now go and look for it.
from anibananie :
Ooh, I've never seen Big Train before! I'll credit you with this latest discovery of Pegg goodness. Hurrah.
from jumblygiant :
your comments always hate me. anyhow..missed you! hope you take a giant crap soon. xoxo.
from anibananie :
Bloody double-posting, grr.
from anibananie :
Alas, the lack of fibre in said cornflakes renders their shit-shifting capabilities minimal.
from anibananie :
Alas, the lack of fibre in said cornflakes renders their shit-shifting capabilities minimal.
from anibananie :
Try sultana All Bran, it makes you poo like a sodding horse.
from buffylass :
Ha, well it's because we were going home that day and had to take all our stuff around with us. I told him that I had some straighteners in the bag too, but he didn't seem very interested.
from onlyemma :
P.S. Your snotty glove idea is genius. Though maybe you should patent a tissue version, or maybe flannel, so it suits the job %100? I adore you too :)
from onlyemma :
Well I don't know what to say. You made me blush!
from onlyemma :
tim, whilst browsing your profile, I'm disappointed to find I'm only "rather lovely" :P
from onlyemma :
Whilst at work, I didn't do what you did and stick things together with cellotape, hence my jogging on the spot. If only I had a desk, then I'd do that too and send you pictures. But I did make myself a wedding dress and veil out of plastic wrapping, a few days before I left. I enjoyed your entry today and poker really is a tricky game! You should definitely stick to Snap. It's an oldie but a goodie.
from anibananie :
How could I resist such a charming invitation!
from anibananie :
Apologies for clogging up your notes page again (my name is appearing a worrying amount), but I had to inform you that your idea of luxury probably doesn't apply to the vast majority of the population. Three words: Giant. Panda. Labia. Then again, you used the word atwixt, so I suppose you're forgiven.
from the-moo :
all of the random hits you're probably logging right now.. are me! ME stalking you *evil laugh* right now I'm wondering.. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE? *squish* xxx
from the-moo :
Oh how did I not get around to visiting you before?? *explodes with love* Hi there!! xxx
from anibananie :
Oh, and if your collection of lipbalms does not include a pot or stick of Carmex then frankly, m'dear, it's not worth a bean. Carmex is fantastic, it's probably made of God's earwax or something.
from anibananie :
I'd be more worried about your taste in music to be honest... I'm remembering a certain 'that looks like good music to play in the bath' line ;)
from anibananie :
Nephews seem like awfully useful things, I'll have to get my brother to hurry up and procreate.
from anibananie :
Timothy Tree is definitely my favourite so far! I wonder why, though, everyone is assuming the tree will be male. And terribly English, if we're going by Cedric, Marshall, Derick and Colin.
from anibananie :
Woo, 200 entries! I'll fetch some balloons.
from onlyemma :
by the way, I didn't meant that 'what's up?' like the American 'wazzzup!', I meant it as the traditional English, "what's the matter, love?"
from onlyemma :
What's up?
from onlyemma :
those maracas are amazing. What did you use them for?
from thebeesknees :
god i love jarv. jealous!
from anibananie :
The video will work in about half an hour... I hope it does anyway, I want to seeee! (and hear)
from onlyemma :
I LOVE Monk! I don't feel any pity towards you, I'm impressed :) you have good taste.
from anibananie :
Indeed... don't quite know how it happened. That first note from That Complete Freak as I think of her was the starting point. No prompting, don't even know her. Slightly weird.
from onlyemma :
Your entry is so very true. That's exactly what I thought, I turned on the TV this morning and it was "Our main story today... it's snowing"; it's obviously a slow news day. Your last entry made me laugh out loud again by the way, I even went "YES!" and did an air punch when I saw you'd updated (well, maybe not the air punch). So the feeling is mutual my friend as I enjoy all of your entries too. Hope you're enjoying the *breaking news* snow.
from buffylass :
I actually had to Wikipedia the word "spic" after your entry.
from vintagepearl :
Yesiree! The username is vintagepearl and the password is this. Hope it isn't too dull and face-smash worthy.
from anibananie :
Now that's harsh...!
from anibananie :
You raise a very good point. And you haven't even heard the strangest ones... For example, this fellow makes me go all wibbly: http://www.thejim.iofm.net/jpgs/accuse.jpg - so really I shouldn't criticise.
from anibananie :
Rather than call you a complete freak, I shall say instead you have an 'unorthodox' taste... (Aggie MacKenzie?! Why oh why oh why.)
from onlyemma :
Really? Kirstie Allsopp? I admit she does have an intreguing array of scarves, but I think that's the extent to her attraction.
from anibananie :
My mum calls her Kirsty 'Fat Arms' Allsopp. Well done for recognising it is an odd crush... I'm intrigued by the 86 others. (Also, I seem to be filling up your notes page at an alarming rate. I do apologise.)
from anibananie :
Now why didn't I think of that.
from anibananie :
Having never tried them I can't really comment, but anything dark chocolate would be splendid, I should imagine. But Hobnobs are the food of the gods anyway (only if they have chocolate on though).
from boredlaura :
As - I have just realised - now will you.
from boredlaura :
Oh that's fine. Between your mention of masturbation and the reference to cock-punching further down the page I'm sure I'll get some google hits from pervs.
from anibananie :
Alas I am usually at school until 3.30 and then walking home (in the sodding wind) until about 4.15, so I cannae. The thing I hated most about the wind, though, was the fact that even though my carrier bag had three very heavy files in the wind somehow still made it dance almost constantly all the way home. It was not a dance I found very entertaining. I would arrange the tea and biscuit if I could because I'm nice like that. Speaking of which, I have a cup of tea right now... mmm. But this is the best I can do: http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/. I'm actually quite saddened by the 4th article down because dark chocolate is wonderous.
from anibananie :
But piss midget has to be one of the best insults ever; so surely I'm not a bad influence as such...
from onlyemma :
How did that make me both happy and sad at the same time?
from anibananie :
And that will probably keep me amused for quite a while as well...
from atavist :
in a not dissimilar (but perhaps nastier vein) my thought on Ruth was 'someone wanted to procreate with *you* and i have fabulous hair and i'm the childless one??'. apologies for revealing to much of my inner workings there...
from anibananie :
Need I say that the Rosyton Vasey reference in your title made me just that wee bit happier? (Well, obviously, yes I did.)
from bobbiedylan :
youre too funny! "I�m having to use about a ten year old phone, which has as much chance of getting on the internet as my dad". i loved it.
from anibananie :
No! Not the belt! Ah, what a bummer (and not just about the belt). I've had stuff nicked off me before too. The world is full of bastard scum.
from bobbiedylan :
bummer! what an effin asshole and how stupid that your gym doesnt do anything to figure out who took your stuff. hope things look up!
from anibananie :
Glad to know I have some sort of use. The books are fantastic. (Coincidently, I was in awe last night because Hazel's got the ONLY first-edition copy of The Vesuvius Club that is signed with a personal message from Mark Gatiss.) Jeremy Dyson's written one as well, called What Happens Now - I've borrowed it off Hazel and so far it's good but incredibly weird. That would also be worth a look into if you haven't already. Happy New Year :)
from onlyemma :
The cookies soak up the rum just as well, plus you get the added bonus of chocolate chips mixed in with all the sog. No jelly though, but it's a small price to pay, it's Heaven. Happy New Year to you too and I hope 2007 is a fantastic year for you. I'm very glad that I found you in 2006! Your diary has kept me very entertained, so thank you xx
from buffylass :
Myleene Klass? Come on now, there's a million sexier women than her in the world. Also, I noticed that you used the word "cumbersome" too, thus proving that it's a king among words.
from onlyemma :
I'm glad you enjoyed much chocolate, trifle and Harry Potter this Christmas, though I'd pass on the Harry Potter myself - too commercial these days. Just kidding, I don't really care how commercial it is, I'm just not into wizards. Anyway, have you tried chocolate cookie trifle? It is the BEST and it sounds like it's right up your street. It wipes the floor with original trifles. Sponge fingers? Pah!
from onlyemma :
Merry Christmas!
from anibananie :
What I don't get about Torchwood is why Captain Jack (arrr!) has to stand manfully on top of tall buildings and look pensive and thoughtful while the camera pans around him. I always wonder how he got up there in the first place, and why he fucking bothered.
from anibananie :
I believe Spoiral from BB7 may be a contender for the worst lyrics and maybe even the worst song with his infamous "Oi'd - do - eeeverything teh yoo" from his modern classic So Sexy.
from onlyemma :
That is indeed the only Wyclef I would ever want to know. He's very calm and stays well clear of Shakira's hips. Did you watch that series when it was on? All I remember of it was a cliff, but my memory is possibly influenced by his name.
from buffylass :
I'd like to suggest Flip Reverse by Blazing Squad as having some of the worst lyrics ever too. Yes, the song as a whole is amazing, but the lyrics run as thus: "i'm the kind of boy dat like a lot of heat undercovers, sitting on some cheddar, need to work you girl, i'm the type, more like to pick up the mic, and bless this crowd with my flows, while you stare and grind" [this was cut and pasted from a website - the dat's most definately not mine]. If that's not total cack then I don't know what is.
from onlyemma :
You do make me laugh. I think a photo of your Christmas hair cut is in order.
from anibananie :
That g thing means you're a sex maniac, apparently. I doubt you're a psycho though, unless all your i's and g's are shaped like an s like one sample we saw of someone who was posessed by the spirit of one "Sarah Smith". People are weird; I love them.
from onlyemma :
Wait a minute... no no no, not an affair with Paolo Nutini's nan! Paolo himself, damn my inadequate note reading skills.
from onlyemma :
Ha! That entry was up for about 5 minutes! But yes, you're right, I am a fibber. I hadn't finished the entry so I put it up to see if the photos worked, which they didn't, so I took it down again and had a nap from the effort of a 1000 word entry. I'm finishing it tonight though so you will get all the details from my Paolo experience. How did you find out about the tea and crumpets? Hmmm, our secret affair is uncovered :P do you often try and put your willy in bottles? xx
from jumblygiant :
oh rabbit. I assumed the water container was about the size of a giant bucket. good luck my dear.
from jumblygiant :
I'm with anibananie, I think we'll be needing the results of such a task. Also, hi. Haven't said hi in a while. love love.
from anibananie :
You will, of course, have to let us know if it fits or not.
from anibananie :
And alas, my teacher already has Freudian slippers! We're getting her the Freud doll instead. (Sorry for leaving masses of notes anyway, I always remember things just after I press "done!" (what is with the exclamation mark?))
from anibananie :
Phoebe is my friend and she is pretty, yes. http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b3/ravishingcecil/Badminton047.jpg
from anibananie :
Also, the Freud doll has no mouth. How bizarre. My favourite's Shakespeare purely for the "I'm going to kill you while you sleep" look.
from anibananie :
Thanks! I was looking round the site and they're selling some of the same stuff (eg Racing Grannies) at iwantoneofthose.com, which is where everyone's Christmas presents from me are coming this year (Jane's getting the grannies). Plus it's based in the UK, which is always a bonus. I'm sure my teacher will love the slippers.
from anibananie :
It would be very, very handy if you could tell me where you got the Freud slippers from. Dr Psycho loathes Freud and, naturally, every year she gets a Freud-themed present from the upper sixth. Play your part in making my teacher fume once again!
from anibananie :
I was tortured with Gilbert and Sullivan as a child (Cox and Box will haunt my dreams forevermore). And sadly for you Alex is rumoured to have a wife/girlfriend and possibly kids, as well as the rumours flying around he's gay. Commiserations, but I suppose there's still hope...
from anibananie :
And I hope you were joking about the IT technician. I'll tell him you said that though, he'll be very flattered. (Kidding, of course. He won't be flattered at all, really.)
from anibananie :
Twat is a most excellent word. Sorry if the version you watched was twattish but it took me twatting ages to get the twatting thing to work. I've put it in YouTube so it's now not quite so twatty, yay. The musical score was sadly from my own collection... yes, I listen to classical music. Except those two tracks as the warbling people get on my nerves.
from bobbiedylan :
you're funny. read david sedaris if you are looking for a hilarious book. i personally recommend that you read "dress your family in corduroy and denim" first.
from onlyemma :
Freya North. Her books are shit to read on the whole, but there are some pages of pure written-down filth that I'm sure you'd enjoy.
from onlyemma :
Karl and Susan are back together now aren't they? I almost didn't recover from his affair with Sarah back in the 90s. Bastard. Anyway... Bill Oddie's not so bad, it's a bit different from a fictional Australian doctor but I'm sure the lookalike benefits are the same for both our dads. Except possibly your dad looks more intelligent. Did you see Bill on 8 out of 10 Cats on Friday? He was a right comedy prude, I'm glad they edited him out a bit.
from onlyemma :
Ha! How fantastic to have had Karl Kennedy at my graduation. Though unfortunately, it was only my dad. I like the connection though, I used to think Karl and Susan were like the television version of my parents, so obviously when they split up it was a trying time for us all. Anyway, nice to see you made good use of your time in Edinburgh, your list of pubs is both extensive and impressive. Bravo my friend.
from anibananie :
Tsk, 4 days, simply not acceptable. Or asseptable, as I keep hearing Supernanny's nauseating voice in my head saying. I too am lazy, but the only reason I reply to notes (or indeed leave random ones) is to avoid working, so does that count as lazy? I'll say yes, I think. Luckily, or maybe not, they didn't come near us for the Big Talk questions. Witty ones were asked, some involving easter bunnies, Peep Show, and premature ejaculation(!). And David Mitchell went into an excellent ad-lib about nuking the sun. Glad you like my kitten-related sentiment, by the way; it was the result of a random act of procrastination. See, THIS is why I suddenly have a whole piece of coursework to correct in less than a week.
from anibananie :
ARGH I am jealous of you going to Edinburgh, so very jealous. And even more jealous of the pubage. Despite being underage and not a huge fan of drinking (bar wine), I do love pubs.
from anibananie :
O great and wonderful Tim, I do hope you haven't seen Mitchell and Webb yet. I just wanted to - well, not warn as such, but allow you preparation time. Basically, hopefully not ruining it too much, they get audience participation for Big Talk, so you may want to have a Big Question ready... It was excellent, by the way, you'll enjoy it. Of course.
from onlyemma :
That trophy is fantastic.
from bobbiedylan :
thank you! i do have fans, afterall.
from katanabright :
Just wanted to say thanks for the pics of Dubrovnik; looks quite beautiful! Of course, last time I was there it was dark and we were being chased through narrow alleys by armed fellows with no senses of humor but still, these photos made it seem much nicer. Won't even mention the knit objets d'art, to save you from any further humiliation. all the best to you!
from buffylass :
And what was the wondrous letter to Viz about?
from anibananie :
I'm sure the question on everyone's mind is not what you're going to do with them, but how and why you acquired them...
from anibananie :
What a truly wonderous tache.
from buffylass :
That's quite a porn tache you've got yourself there.
from anibananie :
Black Books is fantastic. I only discovered it this week after Hazel lent me the DVDs of series 1 and 2. I am eagerly awaiting 3. (And my taste is impeccable in everything, of course.)
from boredlaura :
Ya bastard! I just read that stuff being non-frivolous shitting in pubs and sprayed a mouthful of water all over my manky work computer screen. Now I suppose I'll have to go and clean it up.
from jumblygiant :
It's been many notes since I said I adore you. I do.
from buffylass :
Ahh, I have tried that with miserable results. I've also tried eating my way out of a hangover, resulting in much throwing up, and the drinking yourself out of a hangover remedy didn't go much better either.
from onlyemma :
Argh! Odd number! I had to hug myself to overcome that one, how sad. Thanks for your comment, your keyboard sounds interesting!
from onlyemma :
Thank you for your note, I would be extremely proud to be added to your favourites. Your diary has made me laugh so much since I found it, now you're practically my idol :P Thank you for the returned bravo too.
from anibananie :
When I see The Producers I'll have to get Mr Shearsmith to sign an equally ridiculous yet hilarious message on my program.
from onlyemma :
Your shopping entry just made me laugh out loud. That poor dead womble. Haven't laughed outloud at something I've read for a while. Bravo.
from onlyemma :
Just thought I'd leave a note as I found your diary through Holly's and it made me laugh. So if it's ok by you I'll keep reading :)
from buffylass :
Oh God, I really hope it's the Scottish one too as she's perfectly reasonable to fancy. Not that I do. Obviously.
from buffylass :
Hang on a second, Aggie isn't the blonde 60 year-old grandmother one is it?!
from buffylass :
Oh no, don't start playing golf. Please, that sport's just ridiculous.
from anibananie :
Glad to be of service... but the last note still applies. Mwahahaha. Etc.
from anibananie :
Oh and you shouldn't have told me the date you're seeing M&W, because I now know where you live. Or live near. Or will be visiting... I doubt I'd make a very good stalker.
from anibananie :
Jimmy Carr? Ooh, punching, definitely. Can't stand the lardy git.
from mulcie :
get better soon and night nurse blessings on you and your balls.
from jumblygiant :
oh my rabbit, i hope you feel better soon. but i'll be honest, your being sick is probably penance for not posting more photos. I'm not entirely sure though. feel better and have a good weekend my love.
from flufflebunny :
I think that piss flaps is a stunning salutation by the way and should eek from the gobs of the select few and stun and shock the masses. *makes you a cup of tea*
from flufflebunny :
Do you read the-moo you would love her and she would love you. PISS FLAPS!
from bobbiedylan :
you are quite a catch.
from katanabright :
So very sorry to hear about the cold - they really are the pits! Well, two comments & I'll be off. One - with your nasal spurting talent and knack for graphic descriptions of most of your excretory functions, yes, I agree, it IS hard to imagine why some lovely young thing with long legs, a stunning smile and a rich family, hasn't snatched you up & married you right away ;o) And secondly - if you actually said a pub was 'disappointingly nice', then next time, try the old opening line, "All right, all you pig-sodding inbreds, make way for your betters! And while you're at it, hand over your wallets and jewelry!" I promise you that before you can say, "Hey, just joking!", you'll have all the memorable excitement that you can imagine! DO take care and hope you get well very soon indeed. Soups, teas and bed rest, if you can swing it...
from anibananie :
Never fear, I laughed in a similar vein at your entry, drinking piping hot tea. Thank god I was able to control myself and not a) spurt it over my keyboard or b) shoot it up my nose. Maybe the water will have flushed the gunk out of your nose? Silver lining and all that.
from anibananie :
Edinburgh is going to be my first choice, methinks. Apparently they're the best in the world for Psychology or something like that. And yes, the Lighthouse Family did nearly drive me to death. Thank god it was only one song, and the stupid CD (a freebie from the Daily Express *shudder*) had about 3 decent tracks on. I'm so bringing in my own on Sunday, if only for my sanity.
from katanabright :
Can't wait to hear how the exchange goes with the trouser security device removal team! It might be smoother if you can fake a hideously strong Arab accent and keep looking around nervously and include a few obviously fake chuckles, too. BTW - sometimes you do write the most hysterically funny stuff on D-land. Good work!
from anibananie :
That is quite some pie and quite some tale.
from jumblygiant :
babycakes, have yourself of damn fine weekend, mmkay?
from katanabright :
No, the Womble isn't dead.... only a bit drunk. Can't you see the rise and fall of the chest? Still - it's all the government's fault, and global warming, and oppression of the working classes, and Bush and Blair and the Haberdasher's union strike and the rising price of YouTube ads, and oil prices that brought this about; few things are sadder than a homeless drunken womble.
from buffylass :
I'll see you down there.
from buffylass :
No ladyfriend as of yet, and I think we're into the third week of September. Maybe there'll be a nice one at work who I can meet on Monday.
from the-it-man :
God i wish I could get up and go from where I am. The office politics suck where I am.....
from jumblygiant :
hi babycakes. have a good weekend. take some more pictures. do this, do that. do whatever you want. xoxo.
from buffylass :
Third week in September?! Never mind holding off, that doesn't give me long to start a-lovin' women. You could've told me sooner.
from anibananie :
Just after I read the lesbian-themed note you sent me, I read the lesbian-themed note you sent Holly. It must be a very important topic to you right now. (Also, lesbians may be a wonderful, wonderful thing, but with my brother's very heterosexual attitude to them - think drool - I think it'd ruin the whole thing for him if I was a lesbian. That hasn't stopped my parents asking me outright if I am. Bastards.)
from buffylass :
Thankyou for all the, erm, lovely porn... seems everyone is in on the plot to turn me gay.
from anibananie :
Great. Just wonderful. Just as I was squinting at your entry at the, erm, delightful porn, my brother came in to ask me about some spelling. You made me look like a lesbian so thank you, thank you very much... :P
from jumblygiant :
love the new layout. very classy.
from flufflebunny :
I like your new snazy look....spunky.
from anibananie :
Not at all, tis a fine template. I was going to use it myself but thought it looked too masculine for my diary...
from jumblygiant :
150 fine fine entries and you absolutely did not disappoint with this one. our children will be so proud. love to you.
from buffylass :
They weren't actually pitchpipes! I think they were chime bars or something. Let us stop this foolishness, clearly I win the My-Comp-Was-Rougher-Than-Yours competition.
from anibananie :
I think both Beck and Radiohead were wasted on us though, someone else would have appreciated them more - that's the problem with festivals, if there's nothing else good on then you feel guilty! Or I do anyway.
from buffylass :
Aww but half the notes were missing! Apart from the glockenspiels the only other thing we got given were single pitchpipes. Possibly the most boring instrument ever.
from anibananie :
Haha, just realised I did. Now I feel like a complete arse. Oh well, hopefully you're amused and not just pissed off. Feel free to delete aaall these notes.
from anibananie :
Wait... did I already give you the password? I am now very, very confused. I blame you, of course.
from jumblygiant :
more lily already. don't be so selfish with the fluffy kittens. hope you have a wonderful Tuesday.
from bobbiedylan :
oooooo thank you! im excited... but pretty effin nervous at the same time.
from anibananie :
Aah the tickling gets me too. Especially on my feet...
from anibananie :
My folks are off to Whitby at the end of August for my mum's birthday... if you see two middle-aged people wandering around being slightly mad, you've found 'em. By the by, you're not alone in giving yourself fake titles on t'Internet - I sent off for most of my prospectuses as Doctor and Professor (they sadly lacked the more interesting titles). And Lily is very sweet.
from jumblygiant :
First: "I�m fairly sure I left the woman with the impression that when I got home I�d be sending an email along the lines �I�ve paid my deposit now please rush me my Croatian bride� due to writing �Bride� in the purpose of transaction box. I really can�t help doing that sometimes." That made me laugh out loud in a really terrifying way for far far too long. Thank you. Second: Lily. ohmygod. adorable. Third: pictures, thanks. Fourth: You managed to sneak in one of your crotch, sort of. good job. haha.
from buffylass :
Heh it's the Nottingham House, and is indeed of a shithole. Too dingy and smells a bit weird. I like the Seven Seas, and that one that's opposite Somerfields.
from jumblygiant :
hi doll. it's about damn time you update. isn't it about time for some more pictures? wow, suddenly I'm so demanding. hope all is well (and less sweaty) doll. xoxo, as always.
from anibananie :
My friend Nikki has one, and she's called it Derek.
from anibananie :
The drawing was more than an urge - I had a photo on my phone (somewhat dodgy photo, obviously) and couldn't be arsed finding the USB cable to connect it to my pc and blah blah blah, and by then, of course, the ice had melted. And I felt the muse calling me. At school (which, coincidently, has begun to follow my lead on the penis ice) we avoid the 'nice penis' thing by dubbing it Phallic Ice. All in a day's work, eh.
from buffylass :
Thankyou! I indeed do that dance, although probably not that well because I'm not renowned for my dancing skills.
from jumblygiant :
look at all these new friends! You always make my day with your updates. I hope you don't lose too much money on the matches because I totally expect that we'll be going first class on our honeymoon. hope your hatfever gets better. drink enough of your home brew and I bet you'll forget all about it. love ya.
from anibananie :
Ooh, you added me. Now that I did not expect! Hello to you. Sorry, I'm trying to put off going to bed. Partly I'm not tired, partly hair's wet, partly just too bored to even sleep, as you can probably tell from this note. Hope you're well.
from katanabright :
Hello, hope you are well - just had to say the latest entry is sheer genius! Really! Loved it! And I did pick up that veiled clue about the birds having the Asian avian flu introduced into the quiet English countryside by sleeper cells under the command of Woody Allen. Genius! Wishing you all the best, and do remember - the potato goes in front. (Old Benny Hill benediction, eh? ) j (kb)
from buffylass :
Well, I used to be able to tolerate them but after three years of Em's Going Out CD they make me feel like kicking puppies, which is quite a lot of accumulated rage really.
from clairecav :
And HELLO Holly!
from clairecav :
I used to be quite good at the whole "Ooh I like your diary, I'm going to ADD you *stalkerish grin*" thing, but now I just don't know how to word it. Hmm.
from buffylass :
Oh no, you reckon I phrased it all a bit rubbishly?
from katanabright :
hoy- I just thought of something - maybe the Beast is IRISH...and then he really COULD be ...66 0'6....well. OK, go on back to sleep then. never mind.
from katanabright :
As Ganesh would say - you are just a bit over the top today, aren't ye? :o) Frankly - or Georgely or Bettily - I am glad that someone else in the world is dismayed by the fact that the level of ignorance and stupidity amongst many younger folk ( no offense to you) is so high that they want to get married or launch their garage band careers or whatnot, on the oh-so-cool date of June 6th...thinking that the number of the Beast is 6606. Gaaahhhhhh. Anyway - all the best to you!
from jumblygiant :
oooohhh, updated profile. about freakin time. love ya.
from buffylass :
Aww thankyou very much! I'm going to go add you as one of my favourites now if that's okay.
from katanabright :
PS - This earyl ni the mornging I seme tobe seruiosly dyxlesic. Adn brealy seimltireat !!! Srryo, dued!
from katanabright :
I THOUGHT I felt a breeze - as if someone stalking through my profile...and it WAS Holly the BuffyOne.She's such a joy! Anyway, yes, by all means be careful with those bullocks, they're pretty heavy things! And your interview would have gone quicker, methins, had you begun chanting 'Renew! RENEW !!" early on. All the ebst to you - j
from jumblygiant :
hi my dear. just wanted to say I was thinking of you and hope you're having a decent week. love love.
from buffylass :
I just stalked my way over to your diary through Julian's profile, and love what I've read so far. I shall be returning; I do hope that's okay. God, I've just used a semicolon in a note and now sound really pretentious. Time to stop digging the hole and leave.
from jumblygiant :
so when are we getting married? I need to give my mom enough time to sew some fake hooks for the groomsmen. And thanks for the photos. It's about time you stingy bastard.
from katanabright :
April something or other, whatever - I am SO sorry to have missed your birthday!!! Happy Birthday Retrograde! I would have sent you something...I don't know what, but it would have been better than haggis!!!! Although, on my Mom's side of the fam, all her people originated in Scotland then went to Ireland and then here to the US,I must say that eating the semi-rotted guts of a dead animal, stewed in its own juices, is not something I wish to contemplate. I think I'd rather have lunch at the weird little place just opened by a well known family of Japanese scat-freaks. Anyway - congrats on the drill, you can ALWAYS enlarge your drill bit; I get email offers all the time for that. Happy Birthday again, I wish you a year of health and happiness. All the best, you deserve it. Oh, and Ganesh said hi. j
from katanabright :
RE - the signs of Spring : Who said that the era of English Romance writing was gone? :o) Best to ya, j
from jumblygiant :
that was the funniest thing I've read in about a hundred years (or so). and hi! also, i still have your valentines day artwork hanging inside of a cabinet at work and every time I see it I laugh. uh, but not because of your amazing artistic skills or anything. really. anyhow - thanks again! have a wonderful weekend.
from katanabright :
Well, you DID make it back and so glad you enjoyed it. And about the comparison between daffodils and ladies of the evening, you made some good decisions there, so you didn't have to explain to your boss, in late April, why you needed a few weeks off to recover after having something important fall off your anatomy. Hope your friend's birthday went well, too. Best wishes & such, j
from katanabright :
03.17.06 - About your IT dilemma - here in the USA, the FIRST priority of IT people is to keep things screwed up to isnure their own job continuity. But if you want at least minimal entertainment from the fellow's visits, try asking him: 1. Does it mean anything that, just before it went black, there were these Arabic loking characters onscreen followed by the words 'Detonation Sequence Initiated"? 2. There was a hissing sound in back so I poured a little water through those slots, was that OK? 'cause it doesn't seem to come on now. 3. You know they say that Coca Cola can be poured on keyboards to dissolve the gunk? Well - I think that may not be true. True story - where I work, I'd had some probs with my PC locking up so they took it in to work on it. They erased my hard drive. Totally. No backups. Every single thing I had done over the last five years. Gone. But at least I know they earn good paychecks, that is my only solace! Best of luck with your own adventures in IT Land.
from katanabright :
03.03.06 Hey, mate, glad you posted again; I'm coming back from that nasty heart attack, slow but sure, and reading your archives helps me pass the time in such a good way. Delighted to hear of your upcoming trip; Prague is ancient and incredible, except of course when strange men are chasing you through the dark, shooting at you and yelling "Polizei!", whatever the hell that means, but I predict a wonderful time and new friends for you. And a helpful hint for you: if you make new friends at a local pub and the guys try to convince you that approaching a lovely lady and making 'wanking off' gestures, is a way that locals express their appreciation of beauty - don't do it, they're just having fun with you and you may get a broken nose, to their amusement. Instead, watch one of your travel mates fall for it . Then you can laugh with the locals and they'll bond with you right away. Take care, and all the best. julian
from katanabright :
02.16.2006 - Having plied - or plowed - through more of your writings, I feel inclined to nominate your works for some kind of award, although my nominations are always ignroed by the snobbish, elitist, condescending, arrogant, conspiratorial Bigwigs - who shall all, all *pay* for their treatment of me some day....ahem, sorry. But your writings are always most enjoyable. If you put out a book, do let me know where to obtain one. Especially if it's illustrated. best wishes, j <kb>
from katanabright :
02.07.2006 Hello - stopped by after hanging out for a while at the lovely Flufflebunny's and must say I found your diary phenomenally..um...well, you can finish the phrase, after all you've read it longer than I have. But I did like it and will enjoy coming back. The bit about the axe-salesman and the truck-driving drag queen chasing you through the Freudian Maze in Belgium after you'd gotten into the fistfight with that muslim fellow in the Turkish Baths..that was hysterical. Oh -wait, no, my mistake, you haven't had that happen just yet. Oops, never mind! Just one of my psychic vibes kicking in! anyway, best wishes to you. PS - avoid Turkish Baths...
from jumblygiant :
you totally just made my day.
from jumblygiant :
hello muffin. just wanted to say hi. hope all is well in the land of randomrabbit. xoxo.
from jumblygiant :
ohmygod, first your legs and now this! how am I supposed to sleep at night? You know, its funny (not really), but that is what I thought the bottom half of your face would look like. Well, minus the beard, which I like very much. I'd love to say more, but I need to go make out with your adorable lips on my monitor. hahaha. really do like the beard! congratulations on being manly and all. xoxo, as always.
from jumblygiant :
really, the only excuse for you not updating in eighteen days is that you're being held as a sexual slave by some insanely hot woman. funny, that also counts as my new years wish for you. hope all is well.
from jumblygiant :
it's me again. surprise, surprise. merry christmas rabbit! all my love, jumbly.
from jumblygiant :
well, holy fuck, it's about time that you updated. missed you. you used a lot of weird british (i assume) terms that i don't really know the meanings of. todger? I think i figured that one out, actually. anyhow, so what are you going to do for two weeks? i'd suggest coming to visit me, but we know how well foreign boys coming to visit me turns out. my skin is starting to be pasty again. yay winter!! how about another picture? it's been about eight hundred months since the last one. love you and stalk you soon.
from dullthud :
I did consider deerstalker, as a matter of fact, but couldn't shake the mental image of your diary taxiing out in a Sopwith Pup and roaring heroically off into the mist. It would return seventeen hours later on the back of a donkey, reeking of brandy, with a hilarious story about pranging its kite Boche-side and evading German patrols by hiding under pig manure and/or dressing as a nun. Algy and Ginger would roar their approval and slap it heartily on the back. They'd have a huge dinner and mistreat the junior ranks, then dally with some whores and finally bed.
from jumblygiant :
fancy meeting you here. haha, even your comments make me laugh like a maniac. Yes, I have a blanket that it pretty much just for napping. It's on my couch and it is so warm and snuggly that it is almost impossible for me not to fall asleep with it. have the best weekend ever rabbit. try not to soil yourself this time. haha. love you anyway. haha.
from bobbiedylan :
you are funny.
from dullthud :
Or perhaps "I'm not racist, but would you like a fruit pastille?". Your diary makes me grin like a fool.
from jumblygiant :
shit, I'll never understand why other people aren't aggressively stalking you, like I am. Well, not so much aggressive as lazily stalking, from fourteen billion miles away. seek sought. Sought? Right? I dunno. I'm not a racist, but I do love cheese in all its fine forms.
from jumblygiant :
Happy 100th entry rabbit! And to celebrate I got a pic of your oh so lovely legs. Thanks! I'm glad I don't have to beg too much (although I would). Thank God, I needed something to get me through the rest of my work day. Really, though, nice legs (as far as legs go). love, your devoted stalker.
from jumblygiant :
Glad you updated. I was thinking about you today on my way somewhere (kickboxing if you must know). I know you have a camera and can post pictures. So. Yeah. What does a girl have to do to see a piece of the rabbit (er, not *that* piece)?. An eye? A hand? Something? Anyhoo. Still love you. Still obsessed with you. hope all is well. xoxo
from gutterballs :
hehehehe. i loved the hats! that is all.
from gutterballs :
thank you for the note, it should have driven me to update, but instead i am keeping you in suspense longer.
from jumblygiant :
oh, hi there. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. Did I tell you I adore you to the tiniest of little randomrabbit pieces? I'm not saying you have tiny pieces, uh...you know what I mean. If you didn't live an ocean away I would definately take you forceably (haha) to have a beer with me and to make me laugh in person. Hope you have a wonderful weekend my dear.
from atavist :
whilst nothing can topple the fall guy from it's rightful no. 1 position, i feel you've made a terrible oversight, and the theme to Fraggle Rock is deserving of equal second.
from atavist :
wash on, wash off.
from jumblygiant :
You just made my entire day. But I'm not having much luck with foreign people right now, so maybe I should keep my distance. haha. love ya.
from flufflebunny :
I keep forgetting to note you, but your entries make me howlier than a hyena. Except they are uglier... (howlier in the laughter way, should you be wondering).
from jumblygiant :
you said twat.
from bobbiedylan :
youre hilarious.
from atavist :
admittedly, your rant had a slight air of grandiosity, but that does not detract from its core emotional truth. i do not feel my 1.14 minutes was wasted.
from jumblygiant :
Captain - what you should have done is tell them you couldn't get any tickets at all (and you tried so hard to get them four weeks ago). Then miraculously say you called and got tickets and while they might suck, at least your friends would have been grateful that they even have tickets. My friends all hate me too because I am such a procrastinator and apathetic towards everything. xoxo
from jumblygiant :
I've been meaning to say I'm glad you're safe for days now. Everytime I hear about anything London I think of you. And those guards with the funny hats. kidding. I'm glad you're still here to make me wish I was funny. xoxoxoxoxo
from jumblygiant :
like ganesh but with fewer arms - hahahaha. I don't know if you have ever read Saru-San's diary, but he had a recent entry discussing falling off a treadmill (while running on it) and how he announces "Ta-Da!!!" after doing something really ridiculously embarassing. I, too, am going to start doing this, and it shouldn't be too long beore I can test it out. I needed a good smirk this morning, glad you updated. Happy American Independence Day today!!! mwuahahahahahahahha!!
from jumblygiant :
I just wanted to say hi. I still love you. Just feel funny saying it every single time you update. hugs and sloppy kisses.
from gutterballs :
mannequin hands down! not that i should get a choice in deciding your favorite all time film.
from flufflebunny :
You know what you are? You're great you are. It's a pity you don't live in Nottingham, because there are plenty of places to go for a nice pint. Plus you would be entertaining drinking company :-)
from jumblygiant :
jeez. I thought my obsession with you would fade, but that hasn't seemed to have worked out too well. Okay, maybe obsession is a strong word. Maybe fascination, penchant, proclivity (that sounds dirty, doesn't it?). Hello thesaurus. hope you're having a good week.
from marebear78 :
Your boss and my boss should get together.
from jumblygiant :
enjoy yourself!! also, big YAY for you updating a lot lately! YAY!
from jumblygiant :
What are poppers? The fried breaded jalapeno and cheese things? I'm thinking not. Sorry you had too much time with yourself this weekend. hugs and kisses, as always.
from jumblygiant :
I hope you're having a wonderful weekend, Captain.
from jumblygiant :
seriously, let the stalking commence. really. have a lovely weekend my little wiener watcher. xoxo
from jumblygiant :
stupid birds. xoxo
from gutterballs :
I loved your poem. Damn funny. I enjoy all your entires actually, I just feel rather silly telling you after every single one.
from jumblygiant :
Um, Happy Birthday again! Just because I'm slightly obsessed with you.
from jumblygiant :
AAHHH!! Is it really your birthday? I wish I had known in advance! HAPPY BIRTHDAY you wonderful boy! If it is any consolation, I having a birthday as well. I'll a beer later in honorary celebration for you! Have a wonderful day! xoxoxo
from randomrabbit :
I did get out of the birthday party in the end. I planned to use lies, subterfuge and bribing Kevin to say we�d arranged something for his birthday to get out of it. Mark took me by surprise though and phoned for a definite answer so he knew how much food they needed. I don�t know how much they thought I�d eat that they needed to order in extra if I was going. I�m not very good at lying spontaneously, so I told him the truth, that I�d double booked the party with mending the leaking roof at the orphanage�s sick children wing, but if he wanted me to cancel, I would. That last bit�s not true. I actually told him the actual truth, which I never do, that I didn�t really fancy it, as I�m a social turd. He agreed and bought me some birthday cake up the day after. So I got to not go and got cake. A happy ending.
from jumblygiant :
Is this related to all of your circus talk? I mean, if you're planning on joining, there are bound to be some injuries. Happy Wednesday dear randomrabbit!
from jumblygiant :
Shit, you always manage to make my mornings at work bearable. Sorry to hear about your "business" being injured. That might be an excellent reason to delay the creation of the greenhouse this weekend. Although, on second thought, the idea of discussing pieces and parts of your business with your mom might not be worth it. I really really wish I could watch the building of this greenhouse. Maybe you could build it after the pubs as a compromise. Did you ever get out of going to your friend's girlfriend's birthday party? I don't get to say it too often, so: Good luck with your groin! xoxoxoxo
from jumblygiant :
Glad that made you cheery, to some extent, yesterday! You are always one of my favorites and I'm always amazed that you can be even funnier than the last time you wrote.
from randomrabbit :
I'd hate to be responsible for anyone having a seizure, again, so I've given myself the afternoon off so I can add an entry. Unfortunately I don't actually have the authority to give myself the afternoon off, so I'll be attempting to look busy whilst subtly typing. I'd say it'll be worth the wait but sadly that would be a lie. What it will be is a load of rambly nonsense about Dublin and stuff. I'll give you the abridged version as a tease!: Went to Dublin, drank, ate crap, came home. Thrilling, no?
from jumblygiant :
I think I might have a seizure or something if you don't update soon. You wouldn't want to be responsible for that, would you? No pressure. Mwuahahahaha! xoxoxo
from gutterballs :
oh yeah, i'm also sorry about ruining the movie. i tend to do that, i accidentally told my friend how at the end of the ring 2, the girl reveals that she is the killer.
from gutterballs :
ahh thanks so much for adding me to your list. after that myspace rejection i really needed that pick me up. hehehe.
from jumblygiant :
You, my dear, are wonderful!
from flufflebunny :
Divine inspired orgasm would just be the most motivational way to get the Christian faith up and running again. I'm not religious, but remind me to write to the Pope about it - he could use a hand, bless. I think you're doing very well with one dwarf a month. And of course there is nothing remotely wrong with that...especially not if you combine it with holy...well, you know. Your writing, as ever, is superb! I love reading your diary, it always makes me laugh and smile, and you're lovely too. So there!
from randomrabbit :
I can't help agreeing that I should be pleasured in, er, personal ways by a sunbeam. I'm pretty sure more people would go to church if the reward for the virtuousness was a divine tossing off. I'd probably get sun burnt though.
from flufflebunny :
muahaha...I wonder if any of my account managers were there on your skating expedition. But mention not that the bunny lady blogs...as then they will discover the HORRIBLE TRUTH! In fact I doubt they were there, all they seem to do is golf. Oh - and I LOVE your diary. Everytime I need a smile I check to see if you updated, and you never fail to make me giggle. You're brilliant and you deserve for beams of light to shoot down on you from the sky and pleasure you in...personal ways. Yes maybe it is sleep time now...
from gutterballs :
jus' letting you know i added you as a favorite, even though you can figure that out yourself. i loved the fairytale character entry, and the letter to the mailman.
from jumblygiant :
Ah no!!! No shitty days for you Senor randomrabbit! Also, I had to close my browser the other day to keep from peeing my pants and getting fired for laughing too loud and for too long when I read about your boss needing to clench. I am so glad you write on here!
from randomrabbit :
It's the view over Sheffield I get when I walk home from work.
from jumblygiant :
love the photos..what city/town is the top one taken of?
from flufflebunny :
Hehe...yes the fairytale characters must die! And I, too, play rubbish jenga. But then I have to go shred the rubbish because of the data protection act...but it's ok because the shredder vibrates. Ah life has a funny way of helping people out....bzzz indeed.
from randomrabbit :
I�m glad you liked the poem. I was quietly pleased with it. I think the banana could have been a metaphor for all the missed opportunities in that fruit salad we call life. Or something like that. Possibly it was just about manky fruit. I always try and show no signs at work that I might be enjoying myself. Not only do I not laugh, I rarely talk and where possible don�t do any work. I�d hate anyone to think I actually wanted to be there.
from jumblygiant :
Okay, I'm feeling a little stalkerific here. Moving on. Great poem. Made me laugh at work. The only problem with this, is it appears to my boss that I am enjoying myself, or that I think she is funny. Neither are true. Sorry about your luck with the fruit.
from jumblygiant :
Okay, I'm just a dumb midwest broad from the US. Would you kindly use chuff, bugger, bollocks in the most offensive sentences possible, so I an be sure I understand what in the hell they are? That would just make my lame little day...Thanks for adding me by the way.
from randomrabbit :
I too like Twat. Other favourites include chuff, bugger, bollocks and balls.
from jumblygiant :
Twat - my favorite word of all time, although only used for special occasions. Good luck with coming up with an excuse. Maybe you have a back waxing appointment that day?
from jumblygiant :
Damn, you always make me laugh. Thanks for that! I too always feel the urge to be entirely inappropriate, and if I ever am, I will be sure to use your line "show us your balls." I'll be sure to let you know how that goes. Glad you updated!
from flufflebunny :
You are too modest - you're extremely creative! I saw a 'Pocketwatch Collecter: collect unique timepieces from through the ages' magazine advertised yesterday and thought of you, and laughed as you are tres witty :-)
from randomrabbit :
Enola - You're much too kind as ever. Say more things like that, I like compliments! I think I'd love to be able to write something, anything a bit more creative than the nonsense I put here. And I would too if it wasn't for the lack of any inspiration, original ideas, skill and a grasp of the English language. I'd say my punctuation, at best could be described as experimental. Still who knows, one day I might finally have an idea. That's the dream anyway.
from flufflebunny :
You really should send that letter!!! That would be brilliant. I bet they'd take on the Old Testament idea as another great money making scheme. I saw another one of those crazy weekly magazines advertised the other day on television: 'Radio Control'. You get to make your own subaru remote controlled racing car, which you could most likely pick up for �20...but heaven knows what they put in the magazine! The mind boggles... You should be a critic or columist, your writing is truly superb and very witty. :)
from flufflebunny :
Thank you so much for the birthday wishes...I swore I left you a note before but maybe I mislaid it...hmm. Anyway, I hope your New Year was good. You crack me up, and beleive me women find funny men attractive - so you don't need pulling pants to find yourself a laydee. Just tell her you want to spank her and make her giggle - she'll be yours! Umm I was going to say something else, but it is 11pm and I have forgotten. Urg I blame the wine. Anyway you have fun, keep smiling and when I remember what else I was going to say I'll drop you another line! *hugs*
from flufflebunny :
You're so fun, and you're life sounds interesting :)
from flufflebunny :
hehe...I LOVE the Oompa Loompa song!
from flufflebunny :
Fecking american politics and their twisted morals. Do you reckon all their oil and fat from obesity is why they are so scared of terrorism? Just one bomb next to one fat kid and a barrel of oil and it's boom - bye bye america. I have an odd mind...but yay for your writing :)
from flufflebunny :
I really wish Bush hadn't got the presidency either. Kerry = lesser evil....if Bush is clever enough to actually *be* evil.
from flufflebunny :
classic! :D
from flufflebunny :
I am going to go add you to my profile now, as I just read through your entries and they are pure gold! I was literally laughing out loud at work at the 'how to be a pervert' and 'worry yourself thin' ones...and bartering with acorns sounds a marvellous idea. By the by, if you wanted a different template I could make you one? Now then....to be truly perverted you have to start making pervy comments at any ladies you happen to meet - especially the barely legal ones. And you have to bring sex into every conversation...like by making even sandwiches sound dirty. Hmm maybe I'm a pervert?!
from flufflebunny :
That is the sweetest comment! Thank you so much xxx
from randomrabbit :
(!)

back to randomrabbit's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland

Recently updated
jimbostaxi annanotbob2 i-lost-sarah glorycloud jrminor nepenthean linguafranca compie fyxation loveherwell toejam fatalbreath u2october browndamask jim515 sunset-rose msafire orangepeeler catsoul lostgeek gr8legs absurniverse ericg iiv raven72d secret-motel nueces hitch-hike trainyard simeons-twin
News
update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

Sign up for paid membership if you want!

Users online
sparkle-pink moodswing christ666 gr8legs spit-tears