My Blue Little World

I am currently a cynical asshole with delusions of grandeur ... but oh so cute and cuddly.

My favorite diaries:

awittykitty profile - diary
comments: "I�m calling about your (indecipherable noise), I mean your hamster�s behavior problems, I mean, the iambic parameters of words beginning with the letter �I�, I mean yark, ummm, yeah, apartments are coool! YEAH! WHOA!! Hamsters!! Yes. I agree."
unclebob profile - diary
comments: one funny motherchicken ... but of course you already knew that, since I haven't met anyone who HASN'T listed him as a favorite
purplecigar profile - diary
comments: this chick obsesses about the same stuff I obsess about ...which makes me feel better
gerg69 profile - diary
comments: he makes his own spaghetti sauce ... we have a winner
hissandtell profile - diary
comments: she brings new meaning to the term "free spirit" ... and also the term "nymphomaniac"
accentjunkie profile - diary
comments: someone else who believes in proofreading -- there IS a God!
jacqueline21 profile - diary
comments: a poetic soul
smashley719 profile - diary
comments: she makes my heart hurt
missemmerica profile - diary
comments: "Bush became prez and his vacant gubanadorial seat was taken over by his next-in-command- a dude named Rick Perry who makes W. look like Joan Baez."
thatgrrrl profile - diary
comments: so amusingly strange!
her-story profile - diary
comments: "Because, to be honest... *I* wouldn't mess with a black man with a Scotch-Irish name in a kilt who can throw big heavy shit far distances. That's like asking for trouble."
surrenderme profile - diary
comments: Her stories speak for themselves (wink wink, nudge nudge).
idiot-milk profile - diary
comments: "All I have to say is that the queers better get their shit together for next year's parade. No more of this boring stuff, homosexuals!"
fuzzy-grey profile - diary
comments: "My comedy is inching along. Um. More millimetering along. Atom-ing along? It's going slow is what I'm trying to say."
groovy-decay profile - diary
comments: "Look out, scary Republicans! You�ve got a nation of pot-smoking pacifist pinko queers looming just to the north of you! Impose tariffs on our softwood lumber, will you? We�re gonna come down there and sodomise your sons!"
sunnflower profile - diary
comments: "You have to stop for awhile and let the world roll along and slow yourself down. I believe that all of this is good medicine for body and soul in this harried modern age."
quoted profile - diary
comments: Back, and better than ever! (For those with attention spans too short to read an actual diary entry.)
amomsmusings profile - diary
comments: Finding time to update with all those kids running around has got to be some kind of super power
marn profile - diary
comments: "I did not exactly lie to him, but I've found an expression that says, "I do not know of what you speak" tinged with a soup�on of "I do not speak the English so well me" can sometimes help me skate over these bumpy patches.&q
bindyree profile - diary
comments: "In my household, I have frequently referred to His Majesty as The Beav."
pastaman44 profile - diary
comments: Brian the Pimp
thedailywtf profile - diary
comments: "If you are easily offended by broad stereotypical comments, prepare to hate my guts with a burning festering passion so exquisite it actually makes you horny."
arc-angel666 profile - diary
comments: He makes my rockin' world go round!
ebm profile - diary
comments: "Check out this gnarly assemblage of fans, featuring one dude who hasn't fully evolved yet."
sixweasels profile - diary
comments: Assholia seems to be a wonderful place.
geeked-out profile - diary
comments: "I can assure Bordens or whoever the fuck makes this stuff that real cream does not make my tea taste like the inside of someones ass."
poolagirl profile - diary
comments: "The only entertainment on site was a Pepsi machine. When it ate coins, we were allowed to dance in front of it and sing the 'This Damn Machine Ate My Money' song."
ramblin-bill profile - diary
comments: "When I opened up my e-mailbox tonight, I had mail from [email protected] titled "My mom not only stuffed me but she made me cum." Interesting ... You don't think Caitlyn's message could be porn spam, do you?"
dangerspouse profile - diary
comments: How have I only just now started reading him?!
wench77 profile - diary
comments: Great writer, although she seems to be afraid of infectious sand diseases
beckers-j profile - diary
comments: An Upstate girl, as I am -- how could I not like her?
miss-k2 profile - diary
comments: Go to
mavenhaven profile - diary
comments: She had me at "exhibitionism."
zencelt profile - diary
comments: Courtesy of sixweasels and Assholia, a great find!
sparkspark profile - diary
comments: "I was explaining my difficulty in spelling the way she pronounces the word "baby," which is less a word than an unintelligible honking sound ... It's like, "brggggggggggggh-baaaaaaaaah" or something."
bigpimpinmba profile - diary
comments: I know, I know, I'm like the LAST person to discover his ultra-pimpness. Don't make the same mistake I did -- check this guy out, like, yesterday.
hydrogeek profile - diary
comments: " "Are you 'sig heil'ing me?" "
suzannadanna profile - diary
comments: "Get some more jeans man. I do not need to know your religion. Thank you."
luvabeans profile - diary
comments: "After toying with and abandoning the idea of wedging our way into a crowded and expensive drag bar, we found ourselves in a very nice porn shop. As one does."
yeahimadork profile - diary
comments: "Sleep with one eye open, Johnny. Even your Scientology minions won't be able to save you if we meet in a dark alley."
hooterville profile - diary
comments: "I sure like beer now that I know what it tastes like! Also, dick! Dick is great!"
thecritic profile - diary
comments: "Now I know it�s both stereotypical and ignorant to assume that these two men were gay simply because they were driving on a Vespa� together�holding carpeting�"
smedindy profile - diary
comments: "Even if Shelbi or Ashlee becomes president or a Supreme Court justice, the first thing I will think of (well, probably the first thing) would be 'Ready? OK!' "
andrew profile - diary
comments: "Hamburgers do it with relish."
porktornado profile - diary
comments: Consider the bandwagon jumped upon if you must ... but damn him, he's so fucking funny!
spudder profile - diary
comments: He's my template bitch.
mnvnjnsn profile - diary
comments: "Put me in a situation in which I frequent an area (like, say, a job or a store) and, given enough frequency, I will find someone who, if I were that kind of person, I would stalk."
smoog profile - diary
comments: "Yeah, so I went into my ex's home with a blowtorch and a bucket of cow manure. Who hasn't?"
dinahsoar profile - diary
comments: Her words paint beautiful pictures.
wilberteets profile - diary
comments: "Apparently there's not much to do in Fuckitville, so they procreate as soon as their jibbleys are ripe."
anenigma profile - diary
comments: "We had the hardest time making a working arrangement in the livingroom because His Chair has to be set a certain way. But only, it's not. Anymore, that is."
pissymystic profile - diary
comments: She sure fooled me ...
warcrygirl profile - diary
comments: "And now on to the FUCK! portion of my entry." []
momma-at-17 profile - diary
comments: Her courage is inspiring.
weetabix profile - diary
comments: "... we were going to park the KIA in the Loading and Unloading Only spot, declaring that my name was actually Loading and Jen was indeed Unloading and what a happy coincidence that would be, non?"
kitchenlogic profile - diary
comments: I've just discovered her, and now you must do the same!
batten profile - diary
comments: She answered the door wearing the "Who's Your Baghdaddy?" t-shirt I sent her, while offering me a delicious cocktail. How could I NOT love her?!
goingloopy profile - diary
comments: "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus"
plopphizz profile - diary
comments: "For example, if you are reading books entitled "Baby names for dummies", "Senior dogs for dummies" or "The complete idiot's guide to cooking with mixes", you are going to have to expect a little fluff."
unfukd profile - diary
comments: The Land of the Not Laid -- my group diary; drop a note if you want in!
kristintracy profile - diary
comments: "I have not had sex with an anthropomorphized rodent."
mousemilk profile - diary
comments: "Now if you�ll excuse me, apparently I have to take a picture of myself reading Mein Kampf and wearing the cat."
twelvebeer profile - diary
comments: It's the Vortex of Funny
blazingstar profile - diary
comments: "I'm seeing a gynecologist for the first time tomorrow. Hooray."
notfukdupasu profile - diary
comments: "How the fuck do you get pnuemonia in 100 degree weather anyway. I mean freezing cold maybe. In this heat. I guess that's what you get for sucking on too many dicks."
rickscafe profile - diary
comments: "And although I refer to her as �Lindsey the Cock Sucking Corporate Whore� I�m pretty sure, - probably 85% certain, that �Lindsay the Cock Sucking Corporate Whore:� is not her real name."
haloaskew profile - diary
comments: "Would you like some head with that popcorn chicken?"
porchlife profile - diary
comments: "P.S. I'm Canadian, so dis my spelling and I'll throw a maple syrup-coated beaver at you."
gripewater profile - diary
comments: "And I don�t remember what I ever did with the sports bras or the trash can. One of the three dopey kidnappers is probably wearing it as a hat."
melwadel profile - diary
comments: "Now, I�m not a big Freedom Rider on the Psychopharmaceutical Peace Train, but...XANAX, DO YOUR STUFF."
gumphood profile - diary
comments: "5000 years ago, The Jews said 'fuck that Multi-Gods thing. Its Yahweh or the Highway!' "
nogooddaddy profile - diary
comments: "That�s right; our bed gets ALL CAPS and doesn�t need an article. It�s BED. If you had one like it, you�d know."
juddhole profile - diary
comments: "I will tell you I saw my first bandicoot though, and it was everything I thought it would be. And by 'everything I thought it would be' I mean 'it's kind of a cool lookin' rat.' "
ann-frank profile - diary
comments: "That is to say, I am here to tell you: The Carnies aren't even fronting anymore."
xeroxjunkie profile - diary
comments: "Uhm, have you ever given a 1 year old a hot wing? No? Pretty interesting stuff, I tell you."

My favorite music:

Bob Dylan
comments: He's a fucking artist above artists. Seriously, I would do him, and he's got about 40 years on me.
The Beatles
comments: Do I even need to defend my love? Didn't think so.
Soundtracks to musicals
comments: Doesn't matter what they are. Especially if the songs are easy to learn/sing along to.
Tom Petty
comments: 'Cause "you don't know how it feeeeeeeels ... no, you don't know how it feeeeeels ..."
Johnny Cash
comments: He's the man. If you don't agree, fine, but in my book, Johnny's the man.

My favorite movies:

Ghost World
comments: Enid should be the president.
comments: The French kick royal booty for making the most original, sweet, funny movie I've seen in YEARS.
Anything with Johnny Depp in it
comments: I know I don't have to explain this. Anyone who really needs an explanation can come see me personally to get whacked in the face.
Fight Club
comments: Oh, Brad. You are so fine. Do you want to come live with me?
comments: Kevin Smith is one of the funniest and most fucked up writer/directors of all time, and should be encouraged forever.

My favorite authors:

Dave Barry
comments: I have wanted to be Dave Barry since I was a small child and my dad read me his columns every week. My dream is to be the female him, and I will read anything with his name on it.
Oscar Wilde
comments: Sorry to displace Kerouac, but this flaming homo is my hero
Hunter S. Thompson
comments: Every aspiring or current journalist needs to read "The Rum Diary." It shed a whole new drunken light on my chosen line of work. Rest in Peace.
Agatha Christie
comments: I looove me a good murder mystery! And you know, I can never guess the ending. She was such a slick broad.
David Sedaris
comments: This guy cracks me up. Read "Naked;" I did and almost fell off the couch from laughing so damn hard.

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last updated: 2009-05-06 05:08:58
this user's total entries: 338
user since: 2005-02-17

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