messages to xat:
(click here to add new message):

from ms-do :
I have not been able to read your 2 latest updates i keep getting the Red letter day... :(
from vanoonoo :
you're fantabulous dahling - i am so pleased for you that things are working their way out in this delightful happy fun fabstastic way. xxx
from hissandtell :
Fondest thoughts and bestest wishes flow your way, dollface. Here's to the future and all it holds in store. Have a complete ball at the Compound (as it were...) Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Man Xat, your life has just been taking one good turn after another lately. I'm so happy for you. Good luck on the writing thing. Must be some good karma floating around there for you! YAY!
from awittykitty :
Its nice that your mom liked "D", but its really KaliHellKitty who has the final say? :-)
from awittykitty :
Those are huge jumps in rent! Must be that nosy Mother Karma interjecting her meddling ways to get you and D settled in together (grin).
from crazy4muffin :
The pic of you on the motor cycle is amazing. Why can't I get anyone to take my gdamn picture? Probably because I am not a hot babe on a motor cycle?
from ms-do :
I hear you on the 'girlfriend' thingy...i'm one tooo.....laughing
from ms-do :
rewarding is good but don't spoil....smile
from ms-do :
best best best news....lovely....enjoy
from awittykitty :
I guess we'll call off the rock-throwing at boys then. Congrats. :-)
from ms-do :
big hugs coming from Oz
from awittykitty :
I definitely think our relationship role models ARE our parents. (Horrified scream!!!) I think you just need to give yourself some more time to heal. More hugs comin' from the East Coast!
from ms-do :
Hmmm...commitment phobics are not the best but it does sound like D is one of them am I assuming too much?
from ms-do :
Yeah that is the problem....sometimes i swear they wear glasses that are upside down and back the front and squiffy which makes them very short sighted indeed.
from ms-do :
Hurls the first rock over to the boys side....and pokes out tongue.... x x o o Xat
from awittykitty :
having friends to commiserate with makes such a big difference. And I agree with Hiss. Lets throw rocks at boys. Take care.
from hissandtell :
Boys are stupid -- throw rocks at them. (But apparently we're not allowed to say that anymore, because they don't like it and they get offended. Call me naive, but I kind of thought that was the point of a misandrous insult? [I mean, girls are stupid sometimes too, but not anywhere nearly as often.]) Anyway, I am thinking of you, dollface, and if you ever want any help, just remember I'm right there with a bag of rocks! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
((((XAT)))
from awittykitty :
Sorry to hear about Granmere. It sounds like she was a very positive influence on your life.
from awittykitty :
I wonder what life is like when you need everything measured down to one inch of water in a cup of coffee. Did she have a gold plated measuring instrument? Would you be severely punished if the measurements were incorrect? Would she fly into a rage and have to be tasered by the Portland Police? Stay tuned for the next episode of "Making Other People's Life Miserable: A New How-To Show for Yuppies".
from hissandtell :
Whew. However, for all our sakes, I do hope your kissy-bits display their own flashing (heh) warning sign at all times. It sounds like a man (or a machine) would have to be pretty darned intrepid and bold to venture there, you little minx! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Keeping everything crossed for you, darling. I only hope he can perform the required surgery and save the dear little fellow in time. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Well done, Xat, because you never know when it will be too late.
from hissandtell :
We have a slightly similar situation in Australia, with the Northern Territory. It was only granted "responsible government" (still delegated by the Federal Government) and the right to have a Legislative Assembly in the late 1970s, for pity's sake! When a referendum was held a few years ago to decide whether it would become a state, it failed - possibly because the Fed Govt offered it only three Senate seats instead of the, oh, 12 that every other state has. (Actually, this also sort of reminds me of the situation we have here with our corrupt local shire council - we pay them enormous amounts of rates every year and get, oh, fuck all in return - no water supply, garbage delivery, recycling services, emergency services, sewerage services, weed or vermin control or even free plants [not that we even have a footpath] - and our roadworks consist of one grading a year [if we're lucky] on our crappy unsealed dirt road [which happens to be a major connection road between the north and south of the state]. Poor bloody DC - I can sympathise. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I think most of the "Who You Are" list has to do with being a Women in her 40's. Nothing wrong with that. We're just a little more discriminating. Good luck on the winery job. You go girlfren'!
from awittykitty :
Oh you cute little snow amateurs. But I do remember how it was the one time it snowed in Salem. Utter chaos, because they didn't have any snow plows. I also ran out in my back yard and made snow angels. I was such a snow virgin (grin)
from hissandtell :
I love shooting, but I hate killing things. It's a bastard that the two tend not to get along more compatibly, isn't it? Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
That sure seems excessively high. What were you doing...3000 mph? Rather strangely, I haven't HAD a speeding ticket since Salem, Oregon. I guess since they don't have sales tax (am I right? Its been 16 years since I lived there), they nail you on speeding. Sorry, my dear.
from hissandtell :
Wait, I'm horribly confused. Does this mean your bottom is large but undamaged (phew), or are we talking D/s bottom here? Either way, I prostrate myself before you, Duchess. (Or vice-versa, if you'd prefer. I'll bring my stockwhip, just in case.) Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Aren't massages the absolute best!?! Glad you had such a wild, crazy, happy birthday.
from hissandtell :
Happiest birthday, you gorgeous old fellow parched-Egyptian-spongey Yule Goddess, you. Have a wonderful one, and just remember this little rule of thumb: never eat more chocolate than you can fit into your house. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Happy birthday Ms. You! The best place to get published are small newspapers. Start there and then work your way up. That's how I did it. p.s. 42 years old is young, my dear. Granda Moses didn't start her illustrious painting career until she was in her 80's. Just keep writing.
from ms-do :
Scrapple sounds well.......as it's spelt really a mess!!
from awittykitty :
I'd love to hear that I was "hot", send that D fella over here. :-)
from awittykitty :
Oh xat, thanks for giving me something fun to say all day....neutron star clogs. Sounds like a porn star name. Hee!
from awittykitty :
I like the sound of your new holiday. Will Elvis wear a yarmulke on your holiday cards?
from hissandtell :
Oooh, can I come to your wedding too, please? I adore cakey. Also, I promise to keep my clothes on while dancing on the tables (well, most of them, anyway). Also, I have no idea what 10,0000 is but I'm sure it's a very big number indeed, so CONGRATULATIONS, dollface! Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I'm quite excited about all the successes falling on that one day. And this is about the first time I've had steak and wine in MONTHS. I used to have it every Saturday, but I think it's more special if I don't do it all the time. Even got a prime ribeye yesterday and a bottle of my old standby Clos du Bois Cabernet Sauvignon ...
from awittykitty :
Damn, that's what I was going to write about...
from awittykitty :
Ya know Xat, other than your ability to ride Bub, we're practically twins, especially that disdain for morons.
from awittykitty :
What I said below times 12 million. Good luck. And I know what you mean about grown up clothes. I have one white silky shirt and a black skirt and the rest of my clothes are hippy duds.
from awittykitty :
several tractor trailers of Good Job Mojo have just been sent out, as well as a B52 filled with Good Karma and now I'm going into a good vibes trance....
from awittykitty :
Seems like us wonderfully talented, creative types are always underemployed. What's up with that? We deserve our own tv shows at the very least!!
from f-i-n :
i want a chopper
from hissandtell :
Oh my goddess, Queen Beeza, Bub is looking like a superstar! Congratulations, baby. What a coup! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Maybe "Pseudo-Working-Class-Hero-By-Way-of-A-Large-Bank-Account-and-a-Passat" didn't quite fit on the t-shirt.
from niceguymike :
Man, I've *always* wanted to go to the Smithsonian museums!!! I really do understand that charging admission makes art somewhat less accessible, but it seems there's very little available to us that's free -- our excellent public library system aside, thanks to Ben Franklin and others.
from arc-angel666 :
If You like Willie S., then jump on your bike and head for Ashland Oregon.
from niceguymike :
Actually a weekly no-cost time is pretty good. Most art museums (like Seattle's) have one free day a MONTH. They gotta pay the salaries and buy the art somehow.
from awittykitty :
For the first time in memory, our town is having Shakespeare in the Park. I believe its "Taming of the Shrew". Oh, and our art museum has a plastic receptical at the entrance with a "suggested" price of $5. I rarely pay. Starving artist, you know. :-)
from awittykitty :
I think so much of this fear mongering in the media is meant to rationalize the war. Kinda like a big old "I told you so". I was fearful when I went to NYC a year after 9/11, but seeing my best friend was so worth it. And also seeing the uber silly musical "Hairspray" with Harvey Fierstein was too. And seeing the Queensboro Bridge twinkling at night. Gotta keep living. I agree, Xat.
from hissandtell :
Unconventionality is indeed one of Martha Stewart's Good Things - especially if that's what working well for you. Personally, I've never quite understood the whole "official girlfriend" thingy. What does it actually mean? Seriously, who does that sort of thing past, say, high school? Just hold your head high, shake those bosoms, shimmy that belly and dance on, baby. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
A howdy-do and welcome to your new friend Bub! :-)
from niceguymike :
Meant to tell you that Little Sister (aka Bladerunner) is competing for Ms. Oregon Leather next weekend. Take it in, if you're wondering what to do with a weekend evening (as if!).
from niceguymike :
I'm supposed to tell you to ask for Bladerunner at the next Portland event you go to. And she said she's usually at the front table (?) at RCDC thingies.
from awittykitty :
Oh to be able to say "I got a good deal due to my tits." I think those days are past. Good for you. Anyways stay cool! And don't forget to hydrate during paintball. You don't want the boys to get an advantage. :-)
from awittykitty :
mmmmmmmmm, shrimping. sorry xat, witty got a little distracted there....
from hissandtell :
Here is a pertinent little joke for you: Q. Why do yogis wear white? A. Because they never have to strip a carburettor. So remember, darling, just don't try to take on Bub in a wedding dress, First Communion frock or Betty Paige nurse's dress-up costume - why, it would be carnage! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I'm an in-between size in the bra department. B and C, and if that ain't a pain in the ass. I'm either squished or swimming in some strangely shaped cone contraption that looks like it came out of Madonna's closet.
from hissandtell :
I'm sorry to hear about Meghan - how awful. A doctor friend told me last year that that kind of surgery is no longer being promoted here anywhere nearly as vigorously as it used to be, after someone very clever noticed that many patients were actually starting to die -from horrid complications - a couple of years after it was performed. Surgeons suddenly realised that maybe it wasn't quite so simple after all. It seems to be just one in a long line of fad operations which many many doctors appear to seize on as a cure for all ills (jaw realignment surgery, so incredibly popular and common about ten years ago and now almost unheard of here, springs to mind as another...) Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
You got me so riled up, I'm about ready to fly to Portland and kick that bitch's ass. You go sistah!
from nicim :
note from arc-angel666 in my diary. thought you would like to know. xxoo N
from hissandtell :
He gave up masturbation? Why, I've never hoid of such a thing! When I was involved in a production of Sam Shepard's "Cowboy Mouth" at university, one of my little, ah, jobs (along with a couple of other gals) was getting the lead actor all, um, aroused before the performances so he'd be all hard and hot and edgy and ready to explode. Honestly, if he'd taken a vow of "No touching the frontbottom!" for a few months prior to that, just imagine what extra fun I could have had! Love, R xxx
from plopphizz :
Cool! "Gory Gory Hallelujah" Should get bonus points just for the title alone. -- Ploppy.
from plopphizz :
You are getting published, that rocks! What movies did you write about? -- Ploppy.
from crazy4muffin :
I love a Parade- Shriners, St Patricks day, Gay Pride, whatever, I am so there!
from awittykitty :
That is indeed a very large kickball. Must be a West Coast thing. I never see gangs of guys roaming around playing kickball in these parts. Our folks are very into lacrosse which is kind of sissy if you ask me.
from hissandtell :
Well, after that glowingly cosmic description I'm really going to have to get me one of those big red planetary playground balls. I can carry it around in the back of my Mars Red truck! Love, R xxx
from zencelt :
Thank you for the encouragement. I'm such a bio-sissy.
from awittykitty :
You walk among the "Quoted". Woot! I think now is a good time to ask for a raise... :-)
from plopphizz :
Congrats, you have been Quoted: http://quoted.diaryland.com/mothers_day.html. Thanks for the great writing. -- Ploppy.
from awittykitty :
Ah yes, the old I need a massage on the nipple thingie. I used to try to do ESP to Married Guy the Masseuse but he never got my message unfortunately.
from hissandtell :
Okay, so I'm sitting here with my tape measure (I never leave home without it...) and I have to agree that 15x7 cm is a perfectly respectable size for, well, any burrito. And gosh but that blue crab is pretty! I'd wear one as a brooch on my black beret! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
A half-size burrito? Babychops, that wouldn't fill up a goldfish, would it? Love, R xxx
from elgac :
Have you ever seen the movie Cat People?
from hissandtell :
Hmmm. I did actually think you were perhaps being a tad over-ambitious using a captive bead thingy in that particular location, darling. From my experiences, those inquisitive little buggers will wriggle and squirm and sneak away from you every time they get half a chance...oh, I mean captive beads, silly! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, gracious. I've been waiting my whole life for that store. And if I hadn't ever before realised how desperately I need a Purple Satin and Tulle Victorian Touring Hat, I certainly do now! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Damn those wrinkled balls of St. Jude.
from awittykitty :
I'm always perplexed when a man says something overtly sexual to me. The feminist half wants to beat them senseless with a nearby stick and then the girlie half goes "really? You think I'm ______?" Its all still very confusing for me. I'm not quite as evolved as you my dear. Maybe someday. :-)
from awittykitty :
Vibrator nightlights. Vibrator flashlights. Vibrator klieglights. What an Opening Night that would be!
from hissandtell :
Mmmm...I too am just back from a happy shopping expotition to my favourite toyshop. (And if it's not purple or black, I don't want it.) I had to replace my favourite Japanese clover clamps which have vanished into thin air; I rather suspect the puppies have gobbled them up since they generally steal and eat everything else that's not nailed down and smells vaguely of me. I truly fear ever having to take them to the vet to be x-rayed... Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Okay, and stirrup pants. And those baggy jeans that hang down to the guy's knees. And could we please outlaw really heavy make-up? There's a woman I see at the office who looks like a slowly-going-blind Tammy Faye Bakker. And anything associated with The Matrix look; here's a hint: none of you are Keanu Reeves or Carrie-Anne Moss. Latex on almost anyone. Dang, it felt good to say all that.
from dangerspouse :
I'm actually somewhat relieved that your apathetic and glacially paced Auto Inspection workers mirror the ennui-filled and hostile DMV drudges here in New Jersey. Misery loves frustrated company. Too bad about the April mistake, but maybe it's for the best you went early. A four week delay could have seen an engine fall out or something (hey, it's a Suzuki). Thanks for the great note at my place, btw! Good to know my silly tale cause your nose to drip disgustingly. That's how I always picture you anyway :)
from hissandtell :
iemDaywoof, damnit...grrrr. x
from hissandtell :
And witticakes, I think it's actually, "She's got a clit-to-ride, and she don't care." x
from hissandtell :
Okay, how about, "Gal Etymologist with a Whip"? What clevercwm superhero-detective work you do, dollface! (Dog Latin? Like, "Enivaywoof, Idivaywoof, Icivaywoof!"?) And now, I must away to check out random cowboypenes. Arpecaywoof iemvaywoof, bitch! Love, R xxx Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Wasn't that a song from the 60's? "I've got a ticket to clitorides"
from niceguymike :
You're the one who knows that Bill Bryson boulders, right? I totally adore his stodies of the English language (as spoken by Americans). Yet another thing to thank Hiss for.
from hissandtell :
Cunt = cwm = quim? Works for me. (Reclaim the cunt, I always say. As Susan Jane Gilman says, "If you can't order dessert, you can't ask for a raise" ... well, as *I* say, if you can't say cunt, what else can't you demand?) And I always remember the line about "Octopi" in Beverly Cleary's novel "Fifteen", where the eternally-cool Marci corrects mousy little Jane in the Chinese restaurant (or whatever - honestly, it's 30 years since I've read it!) So, anyway, Gal Etymologist - is it penises or peni? Love, R xxx
from marsist :
I've been hiding from D-land for too long-- I missed your words. heard you found Tall Guy's new journal. if you check out the people who've listed him as buddies, you may find one or two who sound familiar. ;)
from awittykitty :
Dang, I actually share a birthday with Abraham Lincoln and never thought of having a Abe themed party. I did play pin the penis on a naked man once at a batchelorette party. He wasn't alive. He was paper. HA! (why did I feel the need to add that??)
from awittykitty :
Yay for growwwly black dresses. Almost makes me want to go buy one and be all slinky and cat-like. Of course if I was wearing it, the cat would be Garfield.
from elgac :
It is always a pleasure to read what you have to share. Thank you
from niceguymike :
DJ is an awesome woman, and I'm glad you met her. And I'm also glad you're going to check out RCDC; Little Sister has good things to say about both. I've done a bit of bootblacking with women from Bad Girls, and had quite a bit of fun with the Portland Leather Alliance, too.
from awittykitty :
After my recent bout with the lesbian client at work, I'll vouched for the hypersexuality thing. All she talked about was sex. My coworkers even sort of snarkily called her "the dirty old man" behind her back. She was far worst than any guy I've ever had to deal with. I was extremely uncomfortable.
from hissandtell :
Xatticus doll, you've no idea how much I'm enjoying following your divine trail of destruction here. I hear you, sister! I've been "read" as a lesbian as many times as I've been read as a non-lesbian - my husband kindly tells me it's my own fault for looking like a big scary domme and always wearing Docs. (Apparently that sort of thing makes it so much easier for people to define others.) And hypersexual? Well! I imagine any woman defined by others as a lesbian is indeed viewed almost exclusively in terms of sexuality, isn't she? (And yes, that is why we're here, darling.) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I know a number of the Bad Girls. Some are quite excellent players. Be aware, however, that it is largely for lesbians. You might find the Rose City Discussion Group interesting. My Little Sister often attends and/or presents there. She doesn't go to Bad Girls very often. If DJ is there, please tell her Michael said hi -- and that I still adore her semicolons.
from awittykitty :
True beauty always seems to involves at least a little pain. Gorgeous piece, xat.
from hissandtell :
Stupendous, doll. It looks utterly fabulous (and so, of course, do you). Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Really, the only thing about "Screw the Roses" is that it's sort of ... fluffy. If you're interested in making a couple of toys and doing some cutesy SM, it's not a bad choice at all. "Sexual Magic" is also fairly beginner-level, but there are some good tips in there about how to figure out what interests you (newbies tend to try all kinds of outlandish things and burn out early) and how to talk about it with a partner. Pat/Patrick has some good books out there, although sie is not considered a particularly good player. I was specifically warned away from playing with hir, actually.
from niceguymike :
Erm ... "Screw the Roses" is not one of the better books out there. You might try "Sexual Magic" by Pat Califia. Not that I'd really *know*, you understand.
from awittykitty :
To bad you don't live closer. You just missed our three day "B" movie festival this weekend. We advertise it in our art class newsletter. Art and bad movies just seem to go together.
from hissandtell :
Also this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/electricbiscuit/tags/dawnofthedead/show/
from hissandtell :
YOU NEED THIS! http://www.strangebuttrewe.com/knitgi.htm Love, R xxx
from boann7 :
ack.. i missed you when you were gone. you always make me laugh or smile. you are absolutely fabulousfabulous. =)
from arc-angel666 :
Ahhh one of my favorite topics "The dangers of Masturbation"! Sweetie don't worry all of us have had mishaps while sharing ourselfs with ourselfs :-) Rocky (my Penis) once spit in my eye. I had no idea that my essences burned that much...had I only listen to my parents Hey your gonna put your eye out with that thing :-)
from hissandtell :
You'll appreciate this wanking-story I read the other day in an Oz actor's autobiography: "One of my friends...told me that he had also been caught in the act by his mother on his 'vinegar strokes'. His mum came into his bedroom just as he was completing the mission. 'There was nothing either of us could say to each other. Mum looked resigned more than anything else. "Oh, Nile, I thought you were doing your homework."' I asked my friend what he said to his mum. He said they stared at each other for a moment and then he broke the silence with, 'I finished early.'" x
from hissandtell :
Well, at least you went out with a bang AND a whimper...poor you. I really think the Fuck Bucket has a great future, you know. Maybe that's what Ned Kelly's original steel helmet design was really all about after all. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
those masturbation injuries are the worst. I'm always afraid I'll somehow get knocked unconscious and be found by EMTs with a large vibrating device still vibrating and be henceforth snickered at whenever I walk by the fire station. Glad you're ok!
from awittykitty :
I never thought of that...leaving a trail of my dainties leading up to my apartment door. Of course everyone in my complex is about 80. I'd probably give some old geezer a heart attack. p.s. It was windy here today too. We hit 67 mph in the Village. Almost blew a yuppie away.
from hissandtell :
A "me" idea? How very exciting. Tantalising, even - can't wait to hear more, doll. (Will you call your company Glory Hole Pty Ltd, do you think?) And as for pretty sweaty dirty boys who go "Boom!" a lot - well, what better company could any sane woman ask for? Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Thanks for the birthday wishes, and I love the new Noggin look :-) I dated a woman who shaved her head, actually buzz-cut it. I couldn't keep my hands off her head...she'd say things like do you have to feel my head while we're eating? Sorry to hear about the cough, snot and things get better soon Sweetheart.
from awittykitty :
when you're done with the heavily muscled masseur can you send him over to my house?? thanks. (feel better)
from crazy4muffin :
Nothing more sexy than that "I am sick and have the deep voice" thing. NOW is the time to make your new message for your answering machine. Or better yet, I will give you my pass code and you can do mine.
from crazy4muffin :
I adore the MOBA; even did an entry on it once.
from crazy4muffin :
And by the way, I hate those people that order the double delux foo foo drink at rush hour. Do we a fav and hock of big one in their cup.
from crazy4muffin :
Tattoos are so damn cool I can hardly stand it. Jealous i am.
from awittykitty :
Oh my, yelling and stuff. Or WITH stuff. Or BECAUSE of Stuff. So happy for you...And Stuff. You deserve it. :-)
from hissandtell :
Missin' you, darling xatticus! (So much, in fact, that when I saw this I immediately thought of you: http://www.jesshutch.com/robotmain.html) Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
very big smile on my face right now xat.....wonderful news.....smile
from hissandtell :
A naked man WEARING GLASSES reading in bed - oink! O, dear lord. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Turns out that when you are yourself, suddenly you are so very attractive to so many other people. Hmmm, strange how it works that way.
from awittykitty :
I always go chameleon and try to be what the guy wants me to be. Thanks for the insight, that being yourself is ok. Congrats on the new fledgling lurve thang.
from hissandtell :
Happy Birthday, my fabulous goat-girl sister-goddess! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
happy birthday you tango maniac capricorn.
from awittykitty :
Is it hot in here or is that just Xat? Lawdy woman, you really know how to DO Vegas. :-)
from randh :
There are so many reasons why I love you, and that note is one of them. Thanks so much for the compliments and the love. I really appreciate it! (your diary is so much better).
from final137 :
You've been noted. Merry Christmas.
from crazy4muffin :
Forget Elton John! The best band I ever caught in Vegas was a Korean band playing 70's disco tunes in the Bally casino, of all God forsaken places. Don't ask me what I was doing in there.
from awittykitty :
I really like your style of writing. I was right there with you in Vegas. All for the price of clicking on dear Xat. Thanks!
from crazy4muffin :
Aaaaah, Vegas! Breath it in! I figured you for one of those gals that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was made for.
from hissandtell :
Have a ball in the Sin City and snog those hep-cat Rat Pack boys at the Sands for me, baby! (What do you mean they're all dead and it's all razed? Don't let that stop you!) I finally sent your gifty-thingies away today, too - yes, yes; I know it's been months since I said I would, but ... nah, I got nothin' in the way of excuses. Enjoy those crap games with barons and earls - and the dice games with sharpies and frauds, doll! Love, R xxx
from almostnormal :
If you didn't pee all over yourself laughing at lion-man, you are a far better woman than I. Because I would have, and not just because I'm pregnant and my bladder is the size of a fire ant...really...that's just good times.
from niceguymike :
I'd be lying if I said I weren't nervous. By this time next year, I'll probably be an old hand at driving in snow, and will be complaining about everyone who can't. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though!
from hissandtell :
Was it a spanking skirt? Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I guess the cretin thought he could get his trifold collated by the goddess de'printshopia.
from awittykitty :
Printshops. Hrrummphhh! My last job too. I did a ga-zillion-bizillion things. Operating heavy machinery, sniffing chemicals, almost losing limbs in collaters. PLUS I was the sole graphic artist and I had to deal with all the persnickety customers. My pay? $8.25/hr. Once I accidently chopped the tip of my finger off with an exacto knife? My boss drove me to the ER and dropped me off. He didn't even stay nor did he come and pick me up. I had to call my mom. And then he was pissed I didn't want to come to work the next morning and TYPE. Hope you get your new, higher paying job, Xat. We are stars. We should be treated accordingly.
from crazy4muffin :
You forgot to add: And one damn fine piece of ass. Or maybe, "eye candy". Depends on who your interviewer is.
from remingtons :
Who needs rope when you can use wire?
from hissandtell :
I saw your boys'n'rope banner, darling! Fabulous! Love, R xxx
from randh :
Happy searching! I love your way with words. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you diary is great. Good stuff!
from crazy4muffin :
First of all: Is that you in the picture?! Oh la la. My Christmas cheer party is known as a "command performance". Any absence is duly noted and taken into account come "merit raise" time. "Is this worker a team player"? Well, let's see, did she attend the annual Christmas Craptacular ornament exchange? Good lord.
from awittykitty :
I'm so jealous of your holiday party. We have meth addicts out in our parking lot too, but we don't have jets providing ambience. Sounds like the setting for a Quentin Tarentino shoot-em-up, if I ever heard one. Go get'em Uma.
from randh :
I love your diary. And Apparently we share friends. I'll be back here, I'm sure of it.
from hissandtell :
Oooh! Foam rubber rocks - how very Ed Wood of you! (Next project - paper plate UFOs as Christmas tree ornaments...speaking of which, how are those knitted pouty-cervix uterii decorations coming along?) Happy Turkey Day anyway, doll. Love, R xxx
from augustdreams :
You're writing a zombie film? Excellent! Zombie flicks are my favorite subgenre. I'm writing a book on the history of horror films. Maybe I could get some quotes from you sometime on your experiences? :) And oh how I wish they had the independent rental stores out here. Sadly, this seems to be Blockbuster Country. I *did* find C.H.U.D. and Werewolves on Wheels at a garage sale though. Good (cheeeezy) stuff! I like your diary, too. Found ya through boann. :)
from hissandtell :
Oh, and speaking from my own experiences, it's almost always the ego - not the heart - that aches. (And I thought it was just me!) x
from hissandtell :
But forget the tits - what about the pneumatic *lips*? Love, R xxx
from boann7 :
"Don't fucking raise my expectations. Tell me the truth, and respect my right to make an informed decision." love this =)
from almostnormal :
Wait...no picture of the amazing fingerless skull gloves? I'm so sad. You will take a picture, won't you? I'm sure they're fabulous. I've been mulling over the anger entry, and I smoke like a chimney to work through it. When that doesn't work I drink gin. Yeah, did I mention I'm pregnant? So if you figure out the solution, share with the class...because trust me...the whole f***ing class is going insane with frustration and anger and the "I did everything I was supposed to WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" issue. Or you could just roll a d-20 and feel like a success for just NOT rolling a 1 *grin*
from awittykitty :
Well Ms. Xat, I sure don't have the cure-all quite yet for the anger thing. I largely use my diary to vent my anger. And much of it I direct at people I'm not even really angry at. They're, I guess, my beards in a way. Anger can be really crippling. I work on that more than anything in therapy. Most of it I direct at myself and my body (by eating), which isn't real healthy. About the only thing that helps is writing and physical activity. And also hanging out with people who give you support unconditionally. If you can get together some kind of support network, that can really help. Sendin' some good East Coast mojo from me and Guardcat. We definitely think you're cool and worthwhile.
from awittykitty :
I had one of those nice dreams last week. I was intertwined with a nice warm body in a darkened room feeling all loved and stuff. And then I woke up. I did tell my therapist about it. Rather than getting on my case about getting a date he just suggested telling myself to have that dream again and get used to it and get comfortable with it and then maybe I will be ready for the real thing again. And actually I thought that was a nice idea. And Xat, try not to cry in your chicken soup. It probably already has enough salt. :-)
from awittykitty :
I think the guy looking for me, like any guy, won't ask for directions.
from hissandtell :
Hi, dollface - it seems like AGES since I've left you a note. I'm reading you religiously, though (you goddesseous deity you) and I even bought you a present in BrisVegas. Congratulations on the new digs! When you get a chance, could you please email me your Stumptown address so I can send it? (Oooohh! Shiny, jingly things! Sex and sordidness! I gave you a great show, now leave me alone! - darling, don't we all do that do a degree? You're fabulous every which way. I hope you can always remember that.) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I hear ya on the I'll-probably-be-alone-the-rest-of-my-life stuff. I'm pretty happy on my own, but it occurs to me that it would be neat to find a woman to share my life with. Unfortunately, it seems I'm too "nice" for anyone with any personality at all. Or too short. Or too self-sufficient. Or something.
from niceguymike :
Wow, a chest shimmy. I feel better already!
from arc-angel666 :
I hate saying this but it is your fault concerning KH. Had you ran him over with a car the first time you suspected his betrayal none of this would have happened :-). Seriously, from what you said about him he sounded like a great guy, and he was well like at EA. I thought he was a good person, until what he did to You. None of his short cummings, his fractured adherence to a moral code, his not understanding the meaning of honesty or untiy as in two who swear love and loyality to one another is any of your fault. If he truly believes it is, then he is seriously delusional and needs a lot more help than previously suspected. We all have numerous faults and some are indeed frightening, its what we do about these faults than defines who we are. If we choose to hide or ignore them, refuse to work them out then we are destine to release them upon ourselfs and others again and again. Unfortunately your friend seems he hasn't had enough of what plagues him and is willing to share it with others still. Its funny one sees what one's venom does to others, yet they really don't appreciate that we are being poison ourselfs. Xat, you have stated some of your fears and worry that a man wouldn't be interested in the real you...oh I beg to differ. The real you including your fears and worries is most desirable. One of the things I enjoy so much about you is your williness to express all there is, and in do so you show all of us that you are indeed a real human being, I hate putting labels on folks but...if there was a sticker on you it would read Prime, A Number One, Cream of the Crop, highest grade and in small print worth every penny. You are Brilliant, Sweet and Kind, Good Looking, Soulful, fun, Playful, sometimes sad, sometimes angry and extremely Hot, a nice blend don't you think? Honey I wouldn't worry about that special man, cause he's looking for you at this very moment, eventually you will find each other. You rock Honeybunny
from niceguymike :
Yard sale's going pretty well. I've sold almost everything I'd hoped to sell, although I haven't gotten rid of the furniture. The biggest pain about today is that it's cold and rainy! Thank goodness for heavy coats, hot coffee and carports.
from awittykitty :
I have a similar outlook on the subject of loooove, but my therapist did say something interesting to me. And wow, it could actually be true. When you get older, love doesn't bowl you over, knock you on your ass, electrify you until your hair curls. Its a lot more sedate. You may not even know something is perculating. Perhaps we're both looking for fireworks, when in fact, we should be looking for a little inviting light in the window. Just a thought. :-)
from niceguymike :
Well, even *I* didn't know things were going to move this fast! Best of luck in your new place! It's very exciting to be someplace new, I think, particularly one's own space. With any luck, I'll actually have an address to move to next week!
from arc-angel666 :
Congrats Honeybunny! Nothing like your own spot, home, house, apt. There is something very peaceful, comforting having your very own home.
from awittykitty :
I'm very excited for you. Yay! A new place! Savor the moment. Mmmmm. Your own space. I highly recommend it. Congrats!
from crazy4muffin :
I became a full out "adult" at about 12 years of age, if not occassionally "the parent". I harbor no resentment over not being 'coddled' or 'babied'. In fact I think it has made me what I am. But you wonder sometimes if it will back fire. And if so, on who? Maybe that is why I am unmarried with no children.
from awittykitty :
I have a similar problem. I present really well in public, but go home and fall apart. People don't even know I suffer from mental illness. Maintaining that illusion is cumbersome.
from arc-angel666 :
Are you okay? Sorry to hear about your Heart. Now I won't stick that 2by4 up his cheating Ass, but I'd be willing to hit him about the head with it for you. Sorry about your pain Honeybunny
from zencelt :
Yes, some of us are "blessed" with an abundant amound of assedness, aren't we? Life is rarely boring...
from ms-do :
No don't do it! Size really does matter.....smile
from awittykitty :
If it looks small when you first look at it, it means its really, really small, since your eyes always plays tricks on you when you're blindsided by quaintness and clawfoot tubs.
from crazy4muffin :
A clawfoot tub. Mmmmmmmmm. That's tempting enough to go minimalist.
from arc-angel666 :
Although my Major was Biology, Minor Math/Chem I also enrolled in a number of Art/Painting courses while at CU. I have been painting since I was a kid. In one of these classes (Ms Saterswaite, a rather well known Oil Painter)told us, Unfortunately it will be the ones who can lay out a great line of Bullshit that will succeed in this field of endeavor to produce Great Art. It is with this bullshit one will be able to dazzle and at the same time cover up their Inadequacies as true Artist. They are but mere salesmen who can indeed display to everyone the Emperors New Clothes. Xat I think you may have stumbled into the midst of those kind of folks at the Party :-)
from niceguymike :
Well, you'll also save on car insurance ... Still, that awful-but-close-to-work vs really-nice-but-scores-of-miles-away thing is always a tough call.
from crazy4muffin :
That you are at "that place" without the benefit of copious amounts of Prozac is quite an accomplishment. And by the way, blogging on company time, way to "stick it to the man"!
from awittykitty :
I sit around a lot thinking of galactic scale revenge plots. No wonder I don't have time for a life.
from boann7 :
fear... i was raised in that "don't go outside, something might happen to you" sort of place. and ive spent the rest of my life trying to get out of that fear place. thanks for reminding me to be brave. =)
from awittykitty :
Hey, I'm a graphic artist. Why don't I ever get to do a Nudist Newsletter??
from niceguymike :
Oh, sure. Add it to your calendar just as I hit my mid-forties. Actually, I *love* getting ecards and emails and prezzies and phone calls and all sorts of things for my birthday or whenever. Thanks for the happies!
from crazy4muffin :
There is nothing quite like owning a little tiny piece of the world. Good luck with the land purchase.
from awittykitty :
Xatland. Rancho Xatopia. Upper Xatralia de Perfectonia. Hmmm. Just thinking of names for your potential new piece of property. Good luck on your search.
from crazy4muffin :
That thing called "lunch" is a lousy tasting lean cuisine, heated up in the circa 1974 microwave in the clerks office, on top of a stack of autopsy photos, on my desk. Hmmmm, de-lish! If you are lucky the snack machine will still have a moon pie waiting for ya for dessert!
from crazy4muffin :
I can see! Good God almighty I can see! Your font is absolute perfection and your gesture to help the seeing impaired oh so kind. Always the giver!
from awittykitty :
I think you may have found Suzy Copyshop's secret super power --- gaseous emissions strong enough to lay out latte drinking twits! Just don't forget the silencer. They'll never know what hit them....
from awittykitty :
Suzy Copyshop sounds like she might be a super hero who thwarts unimaginative people with death rays. Just think of the impossibly cool and sexy costume you could wear while defending creativity! :-)
from hissandtell :
Why, you look positively huggable, darling! Designatedly so! x
from hissandtell :
Peeing myself with laughter over the "Field Hug!" imagery, darling. You really must come and visit, and we can shoot things. And those things which we can't shoot, we shall throw sticks and cowpats at. Later, we'll have a slap-up barnraising with much nimble competitive challenge-dancing by uncivilised uncouth Oregonian timbermen in coloured shirts, not unlike in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". Now, you bring the timbermen with the biblical names, and also the potato salad, alrighty? Love, R xxx
from boann7 :
i like reading your words. you are a woman of gritty strength. there's something about you that reminds me of katharine hepburn. =)
from awittykitty :
Shhhhh, don't tell the shrub the sea is wet. Let's just wait until he tries to walk on water and then we'll all get a good laugh!
from awittykitty :
shrub-brain was slow during the tsunami too. Plus his initial financial contribution was some paltry amount which made us look really miserly. I guess if there were oil rigs in downtown New Orleans it would be different.
from hissandtell :
The three big "p"s - poetry, praise and penises! Sounds practically perfect, as Mary Poppins might say. (And I adore my platonic male friends, too; sex can often be such a muddlesomely messy ingredient to throw into the purity of the cauldron, can't it?) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Um ... did you get my email?
from almostnormal :
Did you get the "geeks do it..." t-shirt *anywhere* remotely accessable for those of us who don't have the innate ability to find fabulous things like that? Hubby's birthday is coming up...heh heh heh...
from awittykitty :
I guess I was a little sleepy when reading your latest, because I thought you said there were half nekkid cabana boys falling out of the sky so I was just imagining what that would be like and wondering whether I would be able to catch one. (grin).
from crazy4muffin :
I bet new part-time chubby puppy boy is smitten. Don't underestimate the power of a young man's first verbal spanking, albeit gentle, with a saucy, salty, ol' bitch. Kind of like the "Summer of 42". Be sure to draw the curtains tonight, or on second thought, don't.
from science-boy :
You always make me smile!! **makes note to not wear tank-top and cargos to the bank** ;) s-b
from almostnormal :
Are you sure security guy wasn't just trying to sneak a peek? I mean, you made the bank customer sound pretty attractive....
from niceguymike :
Oh, well done! I figure I've got my challenges, but I really think my life is pretty darn fine right now. Your evening sounded like my idea of a really good one. And thanks for the congrats and stuff. I just can't stick with those "popular" diets; I either starve or get bored. It's a lot easier to just add some more walking in if I want a treat.
from awittykitty :
I try to convince the people I work with that life isn't all crap and hardships. Its tough. Because sometimes they hear me and sometimes they don't. Oh well. I'm just listening to some Beatles music and life is good.
from zencelt :
Thanks for the note Xat.
from crazy4muffin :
I will address the first point only, because I too am terribly important and have other things to do that revolve around me- who says you aren't important. Priortity one is and should always be yourself. Take care of yourself, and the rest takes care of itself. Did that make sense, or am I already tipsy at 6:14 pm? Who cares! It's all about me! And you.
from hissandtell :
You're right about giving, I think: obligation sucks. I mean, I love gratitude and positive reinforcement (not to mention eternal adoration and obsequience) and all those other nice things as much as the next goddess, but when it's a by-product of the giving, it makes me want to run for the hills. Sartre says, "Generosity is nothing else than a craze to possess. All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives." Buggered if I understand those sentiments either, though. Bloody existentialists. Love, R xx
from awittykitty :
Oh, I notice artists do that too. The We're Terribly Important Because We're Artists thing. They also dress the part too, almost daring you to say something. I always laugh at that, because what else can you do...if you can't laugh at your own self importance.
from niceguymike :
My current boss has never really mastered the heartfelt compliment. It would probably be more effective if he didn't (I kid you not) keep a list of complimentary phrases taped to his file cabinet. I'm not saying anything is better than nothing, but sometimes a good try goes a lot farther than lots of tries that completely miss. Hey, maybe they're just clueless about what people would like.
from niceguymike :
I think it's great that you gave the passes to a friend who couldn't afford that kind of thing otherwise. And, yeah, throwing free stuff at a problem doesn't generally solve it. But neither does kvetching at getting a gift. As far as the movie pass thing goes, well, some people don't have a lot of imagination, or maybe they'd just rather go to one place and buy a bunch of something rather than personalize it. Heck, my boss sends me complimentary emails all the time, but that's *his* knee-jerk way to do something nice without having to fork over any dough. He also buys us coffee a couple of times a month at Starfuck's. Now, I happen to hate their coffee. My co-workers get mad because they'd rather have money. However, getting a free espresso now and then is a lot better than a kick in the butt -- and I've gotten those from a few jobs, too.
from niceguymike :
OK, two movie passes isn't much for having to deal with a lot. But you don't have to use them. You could give them as a gift to someone who likes to go to movie theaters (which would save you the cost of buying a gift). Or you could donate them to some nonprofit group as a prize or just a welcome bit of fun. Or you could actually go to a theater and watch some movie; not all of them are awful. At my office, we're on the receiving end of any number of thoughtful gestures that don't exactly rock our collective boats, but I do try and remember that our boss is trying to let us know that he values us in some way. Sort of a payment over time of thanks, instead of having to come up with a lot of money all at once.
from awittykitty :
Or at least a gift certificate to a Naughty Toys website. :-)
from crazy4muffin :
The last time someone told me "thank you" at my job I had to ask them to repeat. Certainly I didn't hear what I thought I just heard.
from hissandtell :
Bra? Uh, yeah, right; bra. (Underpants? Uh, yeah, right; ditto.) x
from nicim :
oh another lightweight. at one drink i'm a winsome seductress to the cutie across the room, after two i'm making bawdy suggestions to every hottie at the bar, three and i'm dancing on tables i will not remember in the morning. But at least I'm a cheap date. Ummm, I mean inexpensive, ah well, you know what I mean. xxoo
from hissandtell :
Yeah. I always want to remember what I did, too - but sadly (on the, oh, four times a year I get dangerously drunk and disorderly and disrespectful these days) I hear it from others - and it bears little resemblance to what I recall. And I always think if you're going to glare and sass and flirt and flip your hair and be loud and seduce younger men and strut your stuff and flaunt yourself shamelessly, it's much better to be cautious and wear steel-capped shit-kicking boots. (And, in my case, a crash helmet too.) Much love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Tequilla body shots!!! What other use are young men in a bar for?
from crazy4muffin :
Surely Lance Armstrong made an appearance? who knew cyclist could be so amusing.
from hissandtell :
Why wait for scrapple, darling? Much love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I actually think that is the delusional part, my dear...a hunky guy asking what YOU want. Don't they usually expect it the other way around? Of course, now that you're a poetress eroticess, who knows. You may have an army of hunks lining up. If you want I'll help with the overflow. I'm good that way. Always helpful. (grin).
from arc-angel666 :
Sorry about that it was supposed to be poem not poetry see how your poetry affect me? lol.
from arc-angel666 :
I'm Home....Yay. My Brother JB the AB read your poetry. Now Jimmy B the Ass Bandit isn't into poetry much, but after reading your book he ask if your seeing anyone? :-) And wondered a loud if you might be interested in Dinner and cocktails LOL. Jimmy relationship with women has been mostly physical, he's gotten by on his incredible good looks, kick ass body, charm and the fact he's rich doesn't hurt and has never read or quoted a single line from a poetry to any woman to my knowledge....ever lol. To see him read your entire book was no less than a miracle, possibly there was some sort of Divine intervention? Regardless that was impressive. Today I dropped off a copy to my Agent. As we were talking he was paging through your text, he stopped talking and continued to read...honest to God I saw his face turn red and the corners of his mouth turn up lol....Honey something tells me this book of yours is gonna be a big hit with men. And your dating schedule may become a bit cluttered LOL.
from hissandtell :
Darling xat, I think you ought to make a banner that says, "So many boys, so little rope." And if you don't, damn it, I will. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
I went through "a phase" in college where I did not shave my legs or pits. Good Lord. It was quite invigorating. And I will add, "a phase" without dating.
from zencelt :
I love the Mid-Atlantic aside from the bugs and humidity in spring/summer. Makes for bad hair days till winter. Expecially when the bugs get caught up in it.
from hissandtell :
My ex-fiance gave me a raccoon penile bone once. Mind you, he also gave me a hand-carved (cast? moulded?) chocolate penis for Valentine's Day one year, and I'm still not quite sure what to make of that. (Although I ate it, of course.) Oh, he also bought me a collection of silver-mounted grouse-claw brooches for my hacking jacket when we were in Scotland. And he dedicated his thesis on the Sperm Ultrastructure of the Polychaete to me. (You know, xat, I'm horribly confused now. And my finger's positively itching at the thought of fingering a Celtic bone...) Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Lordy, I've been to the Vista House! I have a pic of my friend Sharon and I braving about a 50 mph wind there. Beautiful scenery all along there. I'm so jealous!
from zencelt :
ROFL! Dante rocks in so many unexpected ways...
from hissandtell :
Bryan Adams? But isn't he Canadian? (Yes, yes - I rather suspect Our Michael meant Douglas...) But anyway, xat: I would fight for you - I'd lie for you - walk the wire for you - yeah I'd die for you, baby! Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Heh. Love Bryan Adams, everything Monty Python, everything French & Saunders and more. I'm apparently an Anglophile, but don't tell Hiss.
from niceguymike :
You're reading Hitchhiker again, aren't you? Fetid dingo's kidneys, indeed.
from zencelt :
I got a note from Ms-Do about your new vibe that makes you speak in tongues. I just got a twisty purple one, but your's sounds like the i ching of dildos. Nice!
from zencelt :
What is it with those freakin delivery people? I'll be sending and receiving my mail by pony from now on.
from niceguymike :
You. Are. Brilliant.
from crazy4muffin :
It is precisely that attitude right there (the UPS jerk) that more people need to adopt. It we could get over "I don't want to get involved because I am afraid" and sub "to hell with bad manners, I'm turning you in" we would be so much better off. Bravo for you. Now come sit on one of my jury panels, please.
from ms-do :
Laughing.....oh the delights of a new toy......nothing like it....i must get a good vibe too, i just love the name and......I need to speak in sexual babble (tongues) as well.....laughing
from hissandtell :
Apparently I babble incomprehendibly (sp?) and start calling out the wrong man's names - ALL of them (well, are there any right ones? I ask you!) - and can't spell compound words and completely forget all my German declensions and can't remember the linguistic symbols for morpheme and phoneme boundaries when I'm getting to know a new toy. That's kind of like speaking in tongues, right? Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I think I recited the Pledge of Allegiance unexpectedly in Swahili when my last B.O.B. arrived. Its a way more fun to learn a new language than Stuck on Phonics. :-)
from crazy4muffin :
You do yourself proud! I managed to jam up and f up the copy machine today in an attempt to copy JUST ONE lousy sheet of paper. Good lord.
from awittykitty :
Gosh, I'm glad his name wasn't Dick, Xat.
from hissandtell :
I reckon you could make up a really good "What do you call an Irishman...?" joke with Curt; maybe it might have something to do with a humourless grammar-ignorant man suffering from, oh, shall we say, premature ejaculation... Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Goodness. Eccentrica Gallumbits.
from awittykitty :
Gee, that pretty much sounds like how my bipolar brain thinks 24 hours a day. And I don't even have to collate anything.
from hissandtell :
Um, how about "porridge"? And of course Henry had syphilis. I think he's meant to have had an enormously king-sized penis, though - much bigger than Edward VIII's, which was a micro-dick. (That's why he couldn't be king.) Obviously Henry should have put it into oranges more to stop the scurvy, though. I mean syphilis. Captain Cook had both - scurvy AND syphilis. Bloody seafarin' men. Bloody monarchs. And darling, I LOVE Fruck Poem. I mean Fuck Proem. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Thought of you today as I copied 5000 pages of medical records. How do you amuse yourself whilst waiting for the colating to commence?
from hissandtell :
Xat, my queen: your poems arrived today. Thank you so much; I'm adoring them. I'll email you to thank you properly, and with the appropriate balance of humility, gratitude and obsequiousness. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Some of the most "Christian like" people I know, and I am speaking of honest, charitable, kind, loyal, have rarely set foot inside a church building. I cringe when I see persons condemn others for their beliefs or lack thereof. Call me crazy, but I don't think that is what (any God) had in mind.
from niceguymike :
Yep, a black Utilikilt. I don't have many chances to wear it here in Burlington, since it's not quite cosmopolitan enough to deal with kilts, but I do have one. Nice and breezy, eh? Ref the uncluttering, it's quite a favorite of mine. I have more stuff I'm ready to get rid of; I just haven't decided which way I'm getting rid of it yet. The kilt will not be one of those things.
from awittykitty :
kilts drive me wild with desire too...mainly because I'm convinced that all kilt wearers are going commando and a shalleiliegh sighting is imminent. :-)
from hissandtell :
I also offer my favouritest line from that poem, just because I want to: "Beware of the man who denounces women writers; his penis is tiny & he cannot spell." x
from hissandtell :
Xat, darling - if a man gave you shoes, I should think your last worry would be about being confronted by someone who thinks you're important to him. I offer for your consideration Erica Jong's line from her poem "Seventeen Warnings in Search of a Feminist Poem": "Beware of the man who picks your dresses; he wants to wear them." Much love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Heh. I have a black Utilikilt ...
from hissandtell :
You know, discovering my inner Kitten-With-A-Whip changed my whole life. (I was 12 at the time.) The secret to true omnipurring happisassiness, though, is being scary and demanding ALL the time - not just when you're crampy and back-achy. Honestly, if I had to rely on the blood-rush of Monthly Menstrual Madness to get me chocolate and men trembling to do my bidding, I'd be a very angry woman. And I don't think anyone wants that, do they? Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I loved your description of our monthly womanly thingie. I think today is also Xat National Kitten with a Whip Day. (K-shhhhhp - - the sound of you cracking your whip...)
from niceguymike :
It's also Cow Appreciation Day. I sent an ecard to Hiss, because she and J are my favorite graziers, and those wonderful cows are what make her life of leisure possible. OK, it would have been yesterday there, but I don't think it's ever wrong to appreciate cows. Well, OK, maybe sometimes. But celebrating their existence should be OK.
from awittykitty :
I've never understood people wanting people to squash anger. Its just been since I hit my 40's and with the help of my therapist and with role plays that I've been able to release some of it in a safe way. Anger ain't meant to be held in. It's meant to be set free.
from awittykitty :
After failed attempts to make me a Catholic for 8 years in a Catholic Institution ruled by nuns made insane by lack of sex, I now cull my spirituality from walks in the woods. I listen to the wind blow through the trees and somehow feel blessed by Mother Earth. Does this qualify as a religion? Hope so, because that's what mine is.
from crazy4muffin :
The trailer park fireworks bananza can and is only punctuated when you have dogs. Make that two of them. Barking hysterically everytime one of those heathens sets off a black cat. Why must they opt for the noise maker fireworks? Apparently that is all they can afford. I am half tempted to sponsor them next year. See that Billy Bob, they also have purty colors. And don't aim that at yur sister!
from hissandtell :
Phew - thank goddess you spelled "bawling" correctly, is all I can say. I looked up the lyrics of "One's on the Way" on the net the other day and was somewhat alarmed to read, "The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a ballin'". I mean, I know they marry their sisters and everything, but gracious! Oh, and I shall spend the rest of the day fantasising about you and your steadfast beaver now, you know? (And your super-soaker too, since you mentioned it...) Happy ID, doll! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oooh! Is is possible I'm going to be able to listen to you after all? You're about 18 hours behind me, I think. Squealing with excitement and anticipation, and attempting to break into streaming-thingy as we speak, darling! Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
OK, wait a minute. You're living in Geek Heaven (aka the Great Northwest), and it never occurred to you a "Geeks are hot" T-shirt would attract attention? Oh, come now. I would have joined the throng, had I been there.
from awittykitty :
Its only been a long time if the spider had enough time to spin an elaborate 26 story spider condominium complex between your knees. I won't tell you how I know this however. sigh.
from arc-angel666 :
I thought I'd drop by for a Xat fix. Oh and what a fix it was! Photos! Honeybunny I know you've heard this before but damn your looking really good. I especially liked the one of you behind the Microphone and the last one dancing. That one is the stuff dreams are made of :-) I have two questions. 1) Where might one purchase your publish words, shall I send a check? 2) Where exactly might one find as you eloquently put it "The alter of your Hips, where one might worship lol? Seriously I would like to purchase your poetry and Darling you look absolutely stunning...your still a Babe :-)
from niceguymike :
Don't underestimate the value of boring. After any number of "exciting" years spent recuperating financially and emotionally from awful ex-girlfriends, the horrors of last year's work, and the many "exciting" moves I've made over the years, I'm quite happy to have nothing much going on. I was reflecting the other day that I am appreciating calmness in my life right now, which I prefer to the negative connotations of "boring."
from awittykitty :
You boring? You who goes out poeting and bellydancing and to clubs and who verbally spank incompetant bosses. Oh p'shaw. I could only wish for such an exciting life. Because if you really read my diary, you'll realize its really much ado about nothing. Its all in the delivery.
from hissandtell :
Aw, poor you. Hope you feel better verrry soon, doll. And can we have photographs of the hot dancin' and the "Trance Sister" release, please? Huh? And what breathtakingly wonderful things do you have in mind to wear to your literary launch? (Planning to cover up your naughty bits for it, dear?) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
You go girlfriend! And remember to make the cervixes on those sparkly woolly uteri "pleasingly pouty" - if not sneeringly petulant, endearingly simpering, smackworthily glowering or just downright sullen. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Well, little booties are all very well and good, darling, but how are the wombs coming along? See, that's what would send ME into helpless girly shrieks every time I passed them! Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I bow at the feet of the authoress-erotica, since I think that might be protocol. Congrats on getting published. Go you! :-)
from awittykitty :
Yeah, I have to watch myself too, because if I don't...I might try to slip myself a mickey in my diet coke, so that I'll "get lucky" (me wiggling my eyebrows), but then again, I get lucky all the time anyways.....Man, I'm so easy. hee, hee.
from crazy4muffin :
Tits ahoy. That makes me smile.
from niceguymike :
Can I just say how much I love your fantasy? Heck, if he even assumed the life of a middle-aged, middle-management, middle-class geek, he'd probably be terrified.
from awittykitty :
the littlest shrub (and I'm sure other things are little too) is totally clueless about poverty because he chooses to be. He thinks you mail your past due rent check with food stamps.
from hissandtell :
Hot Women's Erotica ... Eats Roots (okay, the book uses "Shoots"; but I am Australian, you know) and Leaves ... hey, it works for me, babe! I adore etymological teases. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I'm actually becoming LESS invisible as I age. Yay me!!
from hissandtell :
Young men (and women) speaking with vaguely American accents is rife in this country - it's positively a scourge, I tell you. Everyone under 20 wants to sound as if he is a rapper from the Bronx or if she is a ghastly J-Lo clone. I don't know why it's happening, but it must be stopped - and I think a damned good slapping (or pinching) for all is an excellent place to start. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
I love the gimmick bands. Saw one recently where they had various household appliances set about the stage. It was an impressive product line. "Is that an original Oster blender"?! Can't say I remember the music though.
from hissandtell :
Slade! Ah, my early-adolescent hormones positively rattled to the dulcet sounds of Noddy Holder and those other lager-loutish Wolverhampton lads. (And did they really use the word "Cum" in the title? Gracious!) Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
What Hiss say's.....come on down gurl!!!
from hissandtell :
Oz toyed with the idea of an Australia Card back in the 80s. It was eventually vanquished, and we all ended up with a Tax File Number instead - although the debate still rears its ugly head from time to time (allegedly to prevent electoral fraud, for fuck's sake!) And hey, you know what they say about Queensland weather: "Beautiful one day, perfect the next." Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Yes, I'd heard about that ill-conceived piece of legislation. I've also heard that a number of states are going to fight it in court -- or simply ignore it. They've got pretty much every non-brainwashed person in the U.S. against it. The time for unquestioning acquiescence to anything Fatherland Security desires is OVER.
from awittykitty :
I'm just intrigued by the fact that you saw three men with hats. :-)
from hissandtell :
Yep, you've got to love a topless gal with suspenders, high heels and an athame. You not creative? Why, I bet you could think of a thousand ways to "satisfy her needs" before you've even finished your morning coffee, darling! Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
A Babe, A black Dress, Belly Dancing, Poetry, A Band and You sounds like a perfect evening to Me :-)
from awittykitty :
Nothing better than a little gratuitous self-congratulatory ego-gratification. Yay for you!! You go!! Wooo!
from crazy4muffin :
Never in the history of my credit card abuse have I seen a zero balance. Hell, even when I first got it they had to set the standard by charging me an annual fee. Bastards.
from awittykitty :
Oh to be carded again. (Sigh.) I so like your new "I'm Armed with PMS" artwork. I think we should all wear badges with that on it, just as a warning. Its only fair and I do think it would help get us off in any potential murder trials. :-)
from crazy4muffin :
You saucy poet, you. You convey so much with so few words. I dig it.
from ms-do :
Thanks xat...i need some kind words....smile
from crazy4muffin :
When are you going to share some of this poetry we read so much about?
from hissandtell :
How does one misspell "xat"? Xhat? Zat? Zhat? (I knew a woman whose name was Cathy, and she changed it to Kjarhyz. This, I learned, was actually pronounced "Cars". I never could remember in which order all those extraneous high-score Scrabble letters appeared, so I almost always spelled it wrongly.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Yes, well. I'm sure you've read this recent article: "High IQ cuts women's marriage prospects. A high IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married while it is an asset for men, according to a study by four British universities. The study found the likelihood of marriage increased by 35 per cent for boys for each 16 point increase in IQ. But for girls, there is a 40 per cent drop for each 16-point rise, according to the survey by the universities of Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow. The study is based on the IQs of 900 men and women between their 10th and 40th birthdays. "Women in their late 30s, who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation, are finding that men are just not interesting enough," psychologist and professor at Nottingham University Paul Brown said. Claire Rayner, writer and broadcaster, says that intelligent men often preferred a less brainy partner. "A chap with a high IQ is going to get a demanding job that is going to take up a lot of his energy and time," she said. "In many ways he wants a woman who is an old-fashioned wife and looks after the home, a copy of his mum in a way." The study has been published in The Sunday Times newspaper. - AFP." Humph, I say. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
Have been in Mater's place; had a nasty kidney stone that took residence for six months and decided to attack every 30 days on the minute. Finally got the news from my doc that "your urine is beautiful". Well thanks doc, but what about my eyes? Apparently the pee, not the eyes, are the window to the soul. Look carefully.
from hissandtell :
A ghastly woman who taught gymnastics in the unfortunate hamlet of Dingopatch once demanded my AO type up and make hundreds of copies of a letter she wanted circulated. I refused, and the woman complained to my Big Bosses - who told me it would make things easier for everyone if I just went along with it. Since it was technically an "outside job" with no link to my organisation of employment, I was able to place a little demand of my own on my AO: No corrections - the letter goes out as is. Hence, the (extremely lengthy) final product was littered with fanciful spellings and malapropisms galore in every sentence. (Some that stick fondly in my mind are "panio", "parients", "leodarts", "trampullines" and - my personal favourite - "matterarses".) The silly bitch had absolutely no idea how appallingly awful it all was - or how foolish she looked. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Perhaps you could include some hairy managerial testicles in your writing.
from niceguymike :
Well, the Northwest definitely isn't for everyone. I've been here for about 21 years and love it, but I don't really mind daily grayness all that much. And I don't like extreme heat or cold or humidity or bugs or dust, which leaves out everywhere else.
from awittykitty :
Getting published isn't really that difficult. I've been published over 275 times in newspapers. Its a good place to start and then you move on from there. D'land is a great place to practice your craft, by the way. Say hi to the kitty lap kneader. ^..^
from crazy4muffin :
The only difference is that they got up and read. Do it next time; and wear your belly dancer ensemble and kill em with fab.
from crazy4muffin :
In re the hash and your subsequent introduction to the Morrocan militia...what a buzz kill! Who knew so much was involed in properly smoking hash! We just lit it, stuck it under a glass, lifted the edge and sucked it in. Leave it to you to do it with such class.
from niceguymike :
Heh. My truck was broken into while I was visiting my folks for Thanksgiving. They took out a side window, which cost me $100 (and the incredible window repair place threw in a new windshield and side mirror, too!). What they actually got was a cell phone charger for my truck and half a box I bought at Wal-Mart (maybe they used it to cart away all the loot). I told my friends I would have happily stuck the charger under my windshield wiper if they'd just left the window intact.
from arc-angel666 :
As you know I am a Gentleman, but I also belong to the International "Organ"ization Of Guys, a very large Union, and have been a card carrying member for years. Being that I'm both a Gentleman and a Guy I feel I should comment accordingly. The subject being your Print work.. First, Her, your friend clothes or two piece casual suits are quite nice. I must add, like that of a gift or present its wrappings are nice and add to the presentation but what really counts is the gift itself. Her clothes are wonderful highlights but dimm considerably next to your loveliness. I would indeed consider purchasing them if only you came with them. After viewing the prints I have come to the conclusion your friend is a wise business person, using you to model her products is sure to being results. Now as a guy...darlin you take the winkle out of my tinkle :-)
from niceguymike :
Well, I hadn't really considered coming down that way particularly soon, but I may have to revise my estimates.
from hissandtell :
Darling, with my aging goddess failing eyesight such as it is, I erroneously read that you were becoming the Queen of Lamingtons. Since these are Australia's much-loved national delicacy - sponge cake cubes dipped in runny chocolate icing and then rolled around in desiccated coconut - I was naturally aroused. Because, you know, I'd almost certainly have to give some thought to eating you. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
*moan* Are those real gyros, or those mall kind of gyros? I long desperately for a really, really good gyro, which I haven't had since my long-lamented college days.
from arc-angel666 :
Good Evening Xat: I must admit I feel a bit strange and a little uncomfortable in asking, but after reading your notes and hearing the congrats on your Bosom, have you posted pics of your Boobage? Or are these words of homage dedicated to your ample bosom due imagined visions in the minds eye of Ms Hiss and Nice Guy Mike? After viewing your Belly Dancing photo it seems the over all package is indeed beautiful....and stimulating...as I have mentioned on numerous occasions You are definitely a serious Babe :-)
from awittykitty :
Guess there's no need for me to re-emphasize the fact that a married man DEFINITELY won't be there for you. I learned that the hard way. Enjoy your novels until a good one comes along. OK? Good!
from hissandtell :
Have you seen this site, darling? It made me think of you: http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/ Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Ooooh, baby; may I make obsequience at your feet? (And at your bosoms.) Hilarious entry, darling. Tits Ahoy indeed! Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
chaps, jeans, steel-toed boots, helmet, and jacket, bikini top, tattoos proudly showing = PERFECTION!
from niceguymike :
Lovely pics, dear. Really. Not that I go anywhere near any pools, what with this bad ear, but I'm sure I'd make an exception for you. On another note, your evening sounds pretty good to me. I decided not to bring home work tonight, so I'm spending the evening practicing my Cubis skills, as one does, and watching movies.
from awittykitty :
Is it hot in here or is it just Xat? Very fetching, Miss You. :-)
from hissandtell :
Damn. The link to the tote-bag was broken, and I so wanted to see where you'd hung it in your striking pose... Goodness; your bosoms ARE spectacular, aren't they? Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Well, personally, I was thrilled to add a new word to my repertoire. I used it in an IM conversation with Hiss last night, and I'm sure she was suitably impressed. I'm sure she was even incented to come up with a few words of her own.
from arc-angel666 :
Incented: A state of being that one feels after swallowing a penny :-)
from niceguymike :
Incented. Good heavens.
from hissandtell :
What about "incentivised" or "incentivated"? Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Hi Xat: Your errant Dancing Boobage near mishap brought to mind, that we (surfers) have experienced Weenage wardrobe mishaps also. My personal experiences in Weenage exposure usually occurs in the shore breaks or Duck diving under large waves. Beach breaks as compared to Point or reef breaking waves usually have a nasty shore break (where the wave reforms and breaks in shallow water closer to the shore). I have been caught walking into shore and hit by a rather large rogue shore pounder. The wave leaps above your head and drops down usually grabbing your surf trunks forcing them to your ankles and throwing you to the sand or in some cases stripping them right off you. Now depending on the temperature of the water, it will definitely play a big part in how fast you react. Should it be a sunny day in July in Southern California, water temp at 70 or Hawaii or the Caribbean, water temp at 80 then its a photo opp day. You and the glory of your Manhood parade the water line in search of your trunks..casually...Oh God forbid its Santa Cruz in February water temp 56 a weenage sighting is rare without the aid of a telescope lol.. Also should you be caught inside you maybe force to grab the tip of your board and duck diving under the surf...which can relieve you of your trunks. Good news and bad news. Should the Ocean claim your trunks and you have a leash on your board there's only a display of buns awhile paddling in (good News). I have only lost my trunks once duck diving and it wasn't all that much fun, Rocky and the boys were being ground against a tractions product that feels like sand paper (the Bad News). I really don't have a problem with nudity, I like my body and I'm not easily embarrassed. I am a gentleman at all times, respect decorum and practice prudence, I wear clothes around others at all times unless otherwise called for, but should the situation arise or the Ocean turn to thievery, Me, Rocky and the Boys deal with it, although we tend to deal with it faster in cold water :-)
from dicentrah :
Oh, Love--do! Tango is such a seductive, sexy dance. It's like making love fully clothed with everyone watching. You'll appreciate it, I'm certain. Thank you for raucous--and for "time wounds all heels." I've been saying it as an undercurrent mantra for days! Mwah.
from hissandtell :
You know, those trashy romance novels sound perfect for a day like today here - it's getting colder and I feel exactly like curling up on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate and reading something soppy and mindless. (Hmmm, possibly one featuring a taciturn hard-jawed cowboy on a ranch in Montana who has a slightly unnatural attraction to his horse and paints incredible Charles M Russell-type canvases in his spare time - and if I can't find one like that on my shelves, I guess I'll have to write my own!) Have a wonderful wallow, doll. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Hmmm, well. He's not really doing such a tremendous job "preserving his modesty", now is he? (I like that in a man.) And that slash on his cheek makes him look a bit like Adam Ant, no? Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
For goodness sake, don't actually *buy* anything at Spartacus. In the BDSM world, they are known for making (relatively) cheap crap. Fetching though you may find the model. I think I was there -- once. I know some of the Portland scene shop there, but they're the same people who think Castle is a really neat store.
from hissandtell :
Fabulous Frahm site; thank you for thinking of me! Actually, I remember a friend sending me the link a couple of years ago, and I couldn't get into it. (We'd been having a discussion about how Carol Brady never could return from the grocery store without an erect bunch of celery poking pertly out of her brown paper sack - and no, that's not a euphemism. But I don't recall Mrs Brady losing her panties in the palatial avocado-and-orange Brady kitchen, even when Joe Namath visited! Hey, I bet that dark horse Alice saved that particular trick for when she was out bowling with Sam...) Ah, what joy the pictures of knickerless gals (and accompanying analysis) are giving me now. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Subscribe, not prescribe. Damn it.
from hissandtell :
Oooh! I forgot to say how much I adore your bus stop photograph. Honestly, I wish I had a dollar for every time I've lost my knickers (oh, okay, "panties" for your crazy Americans) while standing innocently on the street with a bag of groceries and a vacuous expression. xxx
from hissandtell :
Yes, that's quite the dilemma. (About how much to push together the hahoovas, I mean.) I tend to prescribe to the philosophy that, when in doubt, err on the side of incaution. You can never be too rich, too thin or have too much cleavage. Oh, and every time I salivate over this site (which is often - what?), I think of you: www.spikybras.com. And, were I still an evil manager, I'd make my reprographics staff write their own "Copier Queen" poem for public display on the wall near the Xerox (or maybe I'd just steal yours and not tell you). Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I couldn't agree with you more on the Schiavo debacle. I felt rather sorry for the parents after reading about their attempts to make a video that "proved" their daughter was responding to them by reacting to any sound or motion she made. I honestly wonder what will happen to them when she finally dies. And, no, I cannot honestly believe that who she is now is who she really wants to be. I've particularly enjoyed Shrub's comments about how government is about protecting people. Let's talk, oh, Social Security, war, deficit, welfare and a few thousand other things, shall we, Georgie?
from awittykitty :
Hey, what's wrong with shameless, self-congratulatory, ego masturbation? Next to eating chocolate, its my favorite activity. P.S. Glad your boner popping gig was such a success! :-)
from awittykitty :
I think I could "go be fabulous" if only I could somehow spirit away that totally fetching costume. Nice work. Nothing better than sparkly boobs to make a girl feel special. :-)
from crazy4muffin :
My God that this is beautiful! You have such an incredible talent! Sick with envy, but full of admiration and respect. Bravo.
from hissandtell :
Yum. Now get out there and shake those shillelaghs, doll! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oooohhhh - shiny sparkly bosoms! What an unexpected treat for this reader! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
I guess my life's just one big party, then. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Hmmm, I can't read about Mt St Helens without thinking of the film "The Vanishing". For me, the fear of being stolen from a petrol station while J is paying for fuel (oh, and then the little matter of being buried alive!) is somehow greater than being covered in lava and turned into a human statue. Damn those crappy American remakes of perfectly good and highly-menacing Dutch thrillers. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Gosh, some of your questions are over my head, like the String Theory, so I just decided to answer them to the best of my abilities: Squirrel Shit - there are those little known squirrel urinals located at the base of every third tree. Gold question: Figures the guys would get the better end of that one. Tiger or lady. Huh? I'm flummoxed by that one. Must be too intellectual for someone on medication. Michael Douglas was actually hot for about a year, now its all delusional old rich Hollywood guy shit. Anthony Hopkins was born to play serial killers. I guess serial killers just require the beached whale persona. Egyptian guys got lost in a sand storm and tripped over the Ten Commandments. Pascal? Next...String? If you say so. Ha,ha! Finally one I know. Pens. They mate with the lost socks in your dryer and then get melted down into Little Kim CDs. American Idol fans? My mom watches it. 'Nuf said. Sports fans. Sci Fi Fans. They're all the same, its just that sports fans have better sponsors (i.e., Nike, Ford Ram trucks). Who sponsors Sci Fi fans? No one. Its all about product placement, ya see. Aren't you glad you asked?? Or did you? I think I drank too much caffeine today.
from niceguymike :
Wow, you *were* ambitious. When I have sinus trouble, I mostly sleep a lot. I'm not sure if I even make coffee.
from crazy4muffin :
As always, I love you. But seriously, being the craft whore that I am, and thus intimately familiar with sequin and all that glitters and shines, could we pleeeeeease see a photo of one of your costumes. You speak of bespeckling a DD cup bra, but we don't get to see the final product? You tease.
from awittykitty :
trans-orbital lobotomy. I think I might have had one. I just can't remember.
from hissandtell :
remember, damn it.
from hissandtell :
Maybe you could juggle some oranges as part of your performance? Oranges spilling out everywhere make for a lot of colour and movement - remmeber those old-testament biblical film epics when the oranges would go rolling around the marketplace when Delilah was about to cut Samson's hair, or the Whore of Babylon was about to shake her fringes and ribbons and knock the men right over? (Heh.) Oh, and could just attach the bra to your body with spray adhesive? Or even Guinness - that's pretty darned sticky when it's poured all over one, as I recall. And please don't forget to include a shillelagh under your arm and a twinkle in your eye on the big day... Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Thanks for the Smoochies I sure did need them :-) I promise not to enter the water after the run off ever again. Dipping in drawn butter? Oh you mean Lobster or Crab, see I'm feeling better lol! As soon as I am given the okay its lots of Steak Neptune...NY Steak, King Crab Legs, Spears of Aparagus drown in Bernaioses (sp) sauce. After catching up on your entries I became curious...I want to see you belly-dance! Can you post a picture? I'm sure it'll help in my recovery :-)
from hissandtell :
Um, is there something overtly arousing about the thought of a hammer glinting gently (on a counter, no less), or is it just me?
from hissandtell :
Oooh, I hope I win the lap-dance. Now, do you want to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy? Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait until lunchtime. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Your honesty with the customer was indeed refreshing. For the past couple of years in particular, I have reached the point where I expect almost every mercantile encounter to be an unpleasant and unrewarding one, resulting in receiving the wrong and/or shoddy goods and having to go to great lengths to exchange them. On one recent shopping excursion alone, during which we purchased a new laptop, a very expensive lawnmower and a state-of-the-art chainsaw, we had to return both the laptop and mower immediately for minor repairs/parts replacement, and the chainsaw the dealer tried to flog us was not the one we had ordered (and had been assured was waiting to be picked up). These couple of incidents follow a long, tedious and depressing series of similar assaults. If only "client service staff" told the truth a little more and bothered to check their facts before making a sale, I for one would be a much happier customer. Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
Maybe we should have a cat ottoman diary ring. ^..^
from niceguymike :
It's always good to find that we nerds are loved. By somebody. Now we all just need to find someone who will be with us in the same room and love us. Forget the T-shirt; locate a nerd!
from hissandtell :
Hey, that's me on your page! In the adorable apron, high heels and broom! Except, obviously, mine's a besom and I use it to sweep my sacred space before casting endless lust spells to enable me to bonk my husband silly so he's permanently distracted from the abysmal state of the kitchen floor and the pile of dirty dishes. (Oh, I'm kidding.) However, I'm afraid I'm still inclined to quantify my paramour's love in terms of the actual kilograms of jewellery, perfume, handbags and fishnets he buys me. (Well, those and the other, um, consumable and/or tactile objects he proffers for my squealy delights...) Happy VD, doll. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, you Trojan, you: soldiering on bravely AND staring down personal-space invaders while your body positively shrieks out with girly-induced evils. You've certainly intimidated the hell out of ME with your articulated determination to write naughty poetry despite your swollen bosoms and achy back. (It might be an idea to put off getting that new tattoo until you're feeling better, darling - although, by all means, keep pulling up your shirt at the mall to check your, ah, bumps as often as the whim overtakes you.) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Well, the location of the jizz queens is always an appropriate query, if only everyone would recognize it. And, unfortunately, I don't have a cast-iron anything, having thrown in my luck long ago with nonstick cookware and bakeware. On the other hand, the steak, asparagus and rice for tonight was marvelous, especially mated with an excellent 2003 yellow label Wolf Blass Cab, which has become one of my favorite around-ten-dollar bottles. I'm glad your imagination is appropriately inspired.
from dicentrah :
And you know...the really naughty stuff seems to just ooze from me when the bleeding commences. What *is* that? Love your snapshot of the lowrent mall.
from niceguymike :
One of the things I loved the most about working in porn stores was the opportunity to peruse any magazine or video I wanted (although, after an 8-hour shift, I generally couldn't look at another body part). Porn stores have got to be the only place in the world where you can run around screaming "Where are the Jizz Queens?" at the top of your lungs during inventory time.
from awittykitty :
I don't think logic and the almighty advertising dollar have ever been particularly synonymous with each other. (p.s. I used to live in Salem, Oregon. Beautiful state, that Oregon!)
from hissandtell :
Not fair! I want to be Snotina, Empress of Phlegm! Oh, why are all the best titles taken? Hey, hope you start to feel better soon. And I've been meaning to tell you how much I love your new picture of the mechanically-minded bombshell. Sadly, although I've dated a few mechanics bearing sweaty wrenches in my time, I still don't know what a manifold is. But I can generally locate a dipstick at 100 paces (and swiftly assess its lubrication depth too - oh, yes, I do know what a cheap shot that was - but surely you expect it of me, and I do hate to disappoint). Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Now there's a story! The Adventures of Dysentery Women, Morrocan Style lol. Ahh Amebic Dysentery a Soldiers best friend. After shipping out for the first time as a member of an invading Army I myself was invaded....By the People's Patriotic Army of Amoeba. Actually they weren't an army at all, rather Intestinal Terrorists. They waged war on me actually in me. They inflicted gripping pain and after 10 years of service on my part they nearly eroded my intestianl walls. While in the service apparently I contracted a number of different Rhizopod Protozoans, as did most Soldiers in the field. They ranged from the type found in Northern and Center Africa, to the the Slavic forms of Bonsia/Croatian, Central&South America and Center/Southeast Asia. It was awful, but I did indeed stay trim, once out of the Army my stomach turned to cast iron and I have been able to drink water and eat anywhere, up until this last ordeal. Once again Sweetie get well soon.
from dicentrah :
Condolences from mucusland. At least you'll get clean laundry out of the day. So far, my own little sick day home from work has netted me a glass of orange juice and a super low, super sexy movie star voice. Alas, it hurts to speak, so I think it's a washout. Hope you feel better soon, lady!
from arc-angel666 :
Wanting to know how you all are? Sorry to hear that someone as sweet and pretty as you should be so icky sick. I hear you on how not so fun it is to be ill. Seriously I am incredibly tired of being ill. To date I have lost nearly 20 pounds, I have stopping throwing up but I'm having trouble eating. One good thing, because of the wretching and weight loss my stomach looks great. My sixpack looks like it did 10 years ago, of course I feel like shit and want to die, but hey my stomach looks good lol. This Staph Infection (systemic) is a total drag. If you aren't feeling better soon maybe you should see a doctor? I waited too long and look where I am. Sweetheart take care of yourself I have grown terribly fond to you and your sweetness. Reading you everyday is something I look forward to, plus remember Cheesecake in LA :-)
from crazy4muffin :
Whoooooa Nelly, ease up on the Robotussin. Or at least bring enough to share with the class. Feel better.
from niceguymike :
I so do *not* have a soundtrack to my life. I did just buy "The Essential Mavericks" and "Autumn" by George Winston, but I have no idea what the thing was before that because it's been, literally, years. And I don't have any music on my computer right now, either. I had some at one time, but I've since deleted all of it. So, sorry, no quiz, but there you have it. If there were a soundtrack for my fabulous life, it would probably be three cats yowling at each other.
from arc-angel666 :
Hi Xat: Congrats on the Show. And thanks for crossing things for me. I'm going to be fine, Doc's told me friday I should have the poison out of my system towards the end of next week YAY, I'm tired of throwing up. There is a plus side to being poisoned I haven't seen my sixpack look so good in a while lol. Yesterday I read about your adventure in shaving it made me laugh and then I threw up...I hate being sick it takes the fun out of stuff unless you enjoy throwing up....I'm pretty adaptable at most things but vomiting isn't one of them. Is the rendevous in February still on? I hope so I'll cross stuff for you :-) Thanks again
from niceguymike :
Ref the karaoke: it's a Pacific Rim thing. That said, I hope your television thingy is wonderful. I don't watch TV, so I won't be able to render a verdict, but I'm sure it's a blast.
from hissandtell :
bd. Heh. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Sounds like you celebrated your own Oz Day in the best possible way - being naked and exhibitionistic. And how wonderful it must be to learn that your arse isn't scary! That's the sort of comment I'd have to insist on having documented, certified and framed. I do hope we shall see some of the photographs. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Ya gotta love cat-toy time. I get to spend some time every day admiring everyone for their exquisite grace and good looks -- and then we have a little fun with laser tag, fetch or whatever catches their cat-fancy.
from crazy4muffin :
gantlet versus guantlet? Okay alrighty, I went to public school and am reliant on the automatic spell check on my computer!
from hissandtell :
Mmmmmmmm, all fabulously commendable ... but 15 through 18 and 24 through 28, especially. (Oh, and 42 and 46, too.) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
That wasn't exactly what I'd consider "puff". I loved reading about your 57 favorite things, because I so enjoy people who achieve satisfaction from things others would overlook. I hope you find 57 more wonderful things beyond your morning. Or more.
from hissandtell :
Re: your fabulous comments about "Come in Spinner": there is no doubt in my mind you would win the prize for Best Film Review Ever; it's just a pity I have no money with which to reward you. But as far as glowingly pretentious perfection in wordplay, and alluringly appropriate obscure references (well, just enough for J to wonder aloud if you were perhaps "taking the piss" out of his shaky cinematographic skills), you're the nose on the great Durante, baby! In fact, you're camembert! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oooh! But you MUST make several of them, to hang off this year's Yule tree. And be extra-careful to make that cervix look pleasingly plump ("pouty", if you will). Although, honestly, I can't remember the last time my cervix was pouty. It's usually just sneeringly petulant, like the rest of me. Love, R xxx
from crazy4muffin :
In regards to the terrifying piece of office equipment. Does it also brew coffee and make toast? Enjoy your diary. Linked it from the fabulous hissandtell.
from hissandtell :
Thank you for that marvellous entry, dollink; I enjoyed your responses even more than I'd anticipated. Just one comment (well, I have a million, of course, but I shall restrain myself): you're CONSIDERING "goddess" as a career move? But baby, sweetie, honey - we're already there. Love, R xxx
from dicentrah :
Do you mean to say they weren't doing the botox feature in that issue? (stupid fucks).
from hissandtell :
Now, missy, are you going to put me out of my misery and do the "Three Things" quiz, as requested? Huh? Or do I have to come over there with a vacuum pump and a couple of bags of silicon? Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Heh. One of the jokes I know goes, "What's the difference between California now and the 1850s?" Answer: "The women had real breasts." Seriously, those were some weird articles for that magazine title. I wonder if they'll get any letters about it?
from dicentrah :
I'm sorry to say we don't normally cycle together--which sucks big time. It's...well...let your imagination run. It's unfun. The stairs, at any rate, are coming along swimmingly. And dangerboy's right about the pics. Mid-cycle tummies=yummy.
from dangerspouse :
Hooray for mid-cycle tummies! That's when you broads are at your most attractive. Post pics!! ;)
from hissandtell :
But ... but the reindeer sweater could be a Christmas present from his parents that he's just as hideously embarrassed about as everyone else is. His name's not Mark Darcy, is it? Love, R xxx
from dicentrah :
Mmm. Thought of you tonight as I donned all my protective wear and headphones to tackle yet more scraping of the stairs. Nonetheless...I agree about deer. No grown man should wear them adorning their sweaters *especially* to work. Yessh.
from niceguymike :
Tiaras are required for your job? Even for guys? I'd look terrible in a tiara.
from hissandtell :
Ooooh, how marvellous to learn you've elected to follow the trail blazed by our fallen (and much mourned) warrior-queens Paula Yates and Courtney Love, by wearing the Diamante Diadem every day! As our mutual friend niceguymike once memorably said, tiaras are a much neglected fashion accessory - and one which he rates right up there with Victoria's Secret underthings and fuck-me pumps. Now, darling, I'm wondering just what special little ceremonial staff you might have in mind for your sceptre? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
"White Rabbit" are the first words that pass my lips on the first day of every month - and have since I was a child, in fact. (Grace Slick would be so proud of me!) In honour of your baaadness, though, I guess I could change that to "Jessica Rabbit"? And congratulations on the television gig. As a fellow lipstick aficionado (perhaps you'd guessed?) I just googled Vincent Longo "Sex Star" and read how it "leaves a soft, sheen finish that works best with a refined look" - and, I'm a little ashamed to say, I giggled. Have a ball putting together some flashy new raiments, doll, and have a fabulous one. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I'm sure HellKitty would love foam balls to play with! Maddy is crazy about the ones I've gotten her (and has gone through four already). And, really, the only thing about parsing my day with food is that I have so many other wonderful things going on. On paydays, though, I have so many kinds of food I like around the house, it's hard to choose. I would make room for those cookies any time, though.
from hissandtell :
Now, really. Just how many bellydance regalias do you have, missy? And I'm pleased you were able to subdue the evil photocopier without resorting to placing your naked bottom on it and making copies: which is, I understand, a kind of technologically-advanced variation on the old simian displays of buttocks-waggling engaged in to establish primacy among the silverback set. Finally, what's wrong with "DaVinci Code"? I haven't read it - it's been on my shelves for months and I haven't opened it, since I tend to avoid reading those novels favoured by commuters on public transport. Now I'm wondering if I should just throw it away? Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
HK called and he had you talk to Mom? First time in along time? Sounds like its going according to the Guy book plan chapter ten, use Mom and other family members to cover major mistake made earlier by breaking up with the Woman you love because of Fear. Things are shaping up nicely lol. Just how does a Magazine find out your age? That's kinda scary.
from niceguymike :
Russian tea cookies are my absolute favorite cookie (although here in the Great Northwest, we mostly call them Swedish wedding cookies). Share?
from arc-angel666 :
Merry Christmas Xat. My Grandfathers Love Christmas as much as the Kids and being that is exactly what I am (a Kid) I to love Christmas and believe in Santa.
from dangerspouse :
Disarm yourself, Xatty! No bloodshed from tampon cases or other equally insidious weapons the Yuletide - but I appreciate the sentiment :) Mochi soup, huh? Care to e-mail me the recipe? I've only had mochi as tooth-extricating sweets or as ice cream. Hey, I don't mean to nitpick, but as an ex-sommelier and oenophile, I feel compelled to point out that Beaujolais, Village or other, in NEVER "oaky" - it's one of their defining charictaristics. But...I love you for naming an ACTUAL WINE NOT SOLD IN A BOX!! Well done grappling the tree into submission - watch the fir fly, baby! Pop a bottle of Pol Roger NV and celebrate! Merry Christmas, kiddo, and thanks for all the great reads this past year :)
from hissandtell :
Merry chriskwasolyulekah, dearest xat! We've done Christmousse here - opened our presents and eaten our lunch, after which we fed each other cherries and champagne. And now it's time for a little nap. Anyway, the picture of "Naughty Girl on Ducati" doing an Isadora Duncan with her skirt is stunning. Baby got Booty! And have you tied your tree down securely, just in case it decides to go all Triffid-y on you tonight and stalk you so it can expectorate resin all over you? Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
Merry Christmas Ms Xat....enjoy the festive season.
from niceguymike :
I'm sort of thinking of an Acrobat document I can fill in and print online. That way, I could save each copy and provide one to the recipient. I'd have a full record of esteem-building, and they'd get whatever thing it was they needed. And, yeah, it's passive-aggressive, and yeah, it's fun to dream about. HBD, BTW.
from dangerspouse :
Happy birthday, blah blah blah. What I *really* want to know is: what the hell wine goes with cat food?? ("Zeller Schwartkatz" would be the hip answer, I suppose). Really, you don't see too many hobos who can only affort 9-Lives Tuna and Liver Platter springing for a nice vintage to accompany it. Kudos to you for keeping up appearances!
from ms-do :
Happy Birthday Ms Xat, enjoy, cause you are fabulous!
from dicentrah :
"Went to the coffee stand and got a cup of some rotgut coffee that tasted as if it was strained through rancid beaver pelts." Oh, dear goddess, it should be a sin to abuse such lovely stuff as coffee. Congrats on the job, dear. Oh--And go for aloof--it's so much more fun that way.
from arc-angel666 :
So he's the one? Now that makes a big difference. I being a guy know of these things. Being The One is an odd situation for us, especially if we are aware that we are THE ONE. The idea of major life changes (picking our socks off the floor, when we know that's exactly where they belong)are frightening to us. If by chance the sanctioned Guy Code Book should fall into your hands you would be able to read that HK is just following procedure. Being a card carrying Guy the first rule of knowing you are THE ONE is to panic. Express concern over the possibility of your current employment situations, speak of the need to feel more secure in your money making future, mention numerous goal that are currently unachieved...stress independence. Fall back on unrealized childhood dreams, adventures not taken, worlds you have yet to explore....then of course comes the finally act of rebellion...its a requirement, break it off. Its at this point the Guy startes reading the Code Book religiously. Unfortunately the Guy Book is massive. Skip to the last chapter. There you'll find why women are a lot smarter than us when it comes to relationships. The last charpter deals with the feelings that pop up after breaking it off with the woman you are in love with. It points out that you have reacted to those same feels everyone has. The main point of the GUY BOOK was in hopes you read it and realizes regardless of fear and not knowing what the future holds for you, that the future, jobs, life, your dreams are much more fulfilling if shared with the woman you love. It also points out the feeling of something missing, being less than whole, lonely, incomplete comes from not having the woman you love in your life. The last half of the chapter deals with how to clean up the mess you made in the first place by turning away the woman you love and who loves you. Mid way through the last half of the chapter you realize you must reestablish contact with the woman you love and start damage control. Phone calls is usually rule of thumb. So my Dear Xat he is right where he is supposed to be...and a bit ahead of schedule I might add. Well done Old Girl. See Santa hasn't forgotten you :-) Merry Christmas Sweetheart
from arc-angel666 :
Congrats on the employment thingy. Dudette, Gnarly, Shredding, Sic, Wedgistic, Bonzitious, Zumaniod these were things on my mind as of late...surfing. Its funny the people here a DL that have heard my voice have a hard time seeing me as a surfer Dude lol. I really don't say most of those things (okay shredding) but I have been surfing most of my life. BY the By, I have surfed in Oregon..seriously chilly and much too much shrinkage. Normally I prefer surfing in warm water(getting old sucks) but these last two days were to good to pass up because of cold water. Does KH work at the Linclon/Jefferies EA location? I'll be going there on Tuesday. They are going to use my evil voice in one of their games. Myself and a couple others (voice over folks) are getting a tour of the joint. If you like while I there I could stick a dagger into his neck for you? Or tell him what a dope he is for screwing up the best thing he had going, ever.....You. Or slap him upside the head and ask what the fuck were you think Gameboy? Okay I won't say or do anything but I still wonder what was he thinking? Good Night Cutie
from hissandtell :
How fucking fabulous! The job, I mean. Congratulations on the earnings windfall, too. Now, my birthday (here) is next Thursday, the 23rd: which, I believe, might make it Wednesday at your place. So if I'm correct, can I just say SNAP! and start shining up those leathers, sister? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
I'm so proud you peed for your country! And it's my birthday next week, too. Maybe we should go to a strip club together. Could we do a double act, do you think? With a bit of poetry reading thrown in for good measure? Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
Hey X-Girl, thanks for the fab notes! I was gonna comment on all sort of things - the tragedy of being bagelless, e-zine excitement, my inability to pee neatly into a cup, etc. But...Binky wants to do me?! And you didn't include her number?? with NewWifey(tm) on vacation, I've been looking for ANYTHING to keep me company! Tell her I have very low standards, so she needent fear rejection (or emotional attachment). C'mon xat, come across with the goods!
from almostnormal :
I saw that fabulous linky at the top of the page and just had to tell you, because I thought you'd enjoy it, my child's middle name is going to be Doe. Her first name will be Jane. That's what happens when women who swear they will never have children will conceive...I don't have names that I picked out when I was five. I'm completely screwed. But enough about me in your notes...I wanted to tell you I think your journal is really fascinating and I'm sorry I couldn't just come out and say it without trying to force out wit on the spot. Thanks for putting up the banner, I'm glad I found it.
from hissandtell :
Oh! I just thought of you when someone sent this through to me: http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html And just imagine if you made it out of glittery metallic-threaded wool! Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
I knew it a Vixen........smile......excellent!
from hissandtell :
Oh, the nod to Mad Max is sublime. You do realise I'll be fantasising about your clothing choices all day now, don't you, you loud gorgeous heart-breaker, you? Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Thanks, your words meant a lot to me. What you said had been a big problem for me. For 8 and a half years I loved this woman with every fiber, every cell in my body and soul. It was perfect, we both felt this way, she got sick and die. There was never trouble between us ever, there was nothing for me to hate or get angry about it was perfect then she die and my life shattered. For two years after her passing I never even thought of another women let alone going out with anyone. The first time I went out on a date was 4 and a half years after her passing. And I felt so guilty. I actually felt I had betrayed her...I knew that was stupid to feel that way but I couldn't help it. And the first time I had sex I thought I might throw myself off a bridge, I thought how could I do this to her? Then I did something kind of dumb, all my friends were concerned and thought Sean (my Son) and I needed a Woman in our lifes. I was concerned he didn't have a Mother figure and I kinda forced myself into a semi state of love and married a family friend (her Father and my Father were business partners) She was sweet, educated and pretty and I did like her and apparently she loved me. It lasted 5 years and finally she told me she couldn't do this anymore. She knew I tried but she said she couldn't live with the fact that I was cheating on her with a ghost. I know this sounds funny but at the time I didn't think so...I guess in a way I was. Over the years things have gotten better and I have fallen in love a number of times and still love playing with the Ladies. The fact is I would love to find someone and fall in love. I am ready and I will love with all my heart I promise. Thanks again
from hissandtell :
Your purging of the glitter box is an excellent choice. I only wish I'd thought of it to suggest it. (I'm sending you a highly pertinent e-mail to your DL address, btw.) And, let's face it, wine, chocolate and hypernovas (and possibly the love of a good Blue Wonder) are all any sane (hey, I just accidentally typed "sine", speaking mathematically as we were) woman needs. Congratulations! And be wonderful tomorrow in your interview. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Could this ritual possibly involve Bobo the Blue Wonder and a slide rule? Just a thought... Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Meant to tell you yesterday -- it wasn't just the part of Seattle you were in. ALL of it is hilly.
from arc-angel666 :
Oh I guess I miss the PA part, well, I could have the FX folks have a couple of steel shards sticking out of my face, possibly a radiation burns or two. I could get my old wardrobe from 13th Warrior...his and her matching M-16's bandoliers and stage grenades or do you prefer Swords? :-)
from arc-angel666 :
If I weren't working next week I'd fly up and take you to your Formal...Even with long hair I look good in a Black Tux. God its cold here, the trailors they provide us on this set don't have heaters my fingers are numb. I have been told with the wind chill factor it could reach 18 degrees tonight, so much for sunny and warm California. I hope we wrap before Midnight so I don't turn into a Michaelcickle
from hissandtell :
You know, darling, I've only just now (since reading your entry, that is) started pondering the significance of corsages worn on wrists by prom princesses. And now I'm thinking about roses worn in teeth by flamenco dancers. (I seem to recall Valentino dancing a rather passionate tango with a whip. Now there's a thought.) Hmmm. I may yet be here all day. (And I'm sure your formally-attired vibrator would be quite the charismatic little guy in any setting.) Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
What Nice Guy Mike said is true. The most powerful stimulation in my opinion is that of a brilliant mind. There is nothing more seductive or alluring than a women in posssession of a intelligence, cleverness, and willing to speak her mind. To share her intelligence, her dreams and to strive to be everything she can...is someone I want to know and to be around and if the Gods are in favor of it to love. One of the best people I have ever worked for in my life was a Brilliant, Talented Visionary, give it all type of Woman named E.Sullivan. She stood up to a Network Head because she was right and it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately this particular situation gives credences to your theory. This Network head was the type of man you referred to. The idea, a Woman dared standup to him was unacceptable, regardless that she was indeed right. It cost her her career, there is no doubt she will be back. But the fact there are men who are willing to sacrifice an entire show which affected the Network and 100's of people all because of a Woman dared display her intelligence and offer an alternative to his way of thinking. The sad thing is he now admits what he did was probably the wrong thing to do...but in the same breath as none nothing to straighten this mess out. Sorry about the rant. I'm a bit sensitive today. There is nothing more attractive or sexy than a brilliant mind. It never looses its curves or its good looks and stays sexy for ever.
from niceguymike :
If I might add some guy wisdom ... Your friend added the postscript that he had no ulterior motive because everyone suspects that men only are nice to women if they have ulterior motives. And, as for men not liking intelligent women, that may be true of some, but certainly not of any men I know. I, and others like me, would much rather have someone with more than a couple of brain cells floating in a skull cavity than a woman who does the slack-jawed look she believes is attractive.
from hissandtell :
Oooh, I do love La Cage aux Folles. And Pardon Mon Affaire. And Mr Hulot's Holiday. And Liaisons Dangereuses. And Betty Blue. And Diva. And all the other French films I used to watch at least four times every year when I was a cheesily cultured person and lived in the city. Oh, well, C'est la gare, as the contrôleur said on the Métro... (Oh, and my advice is to eat the apple pie. Just do it; you know you want to.) Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
GEEEEEESHHHHHHH! You know I really really like you, seriously, but damn your mean. I have never spent so much time trying to look beyond borders of a photo in my life. As I once said in Pirates of the Caribbean NO FAIR! I must admit that is quite a nice small of the back. Do you remember the commercial where the little kid in the orphanage holds out his bowl and in a Cockney accent begs More Please? More Please!
from hissandtell :
Shallow and base, ay? Yum. Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
Happy thanksgiving Xat
from arc-angel666 :
Hi Xat: I was going to write to you the other night but couldn't find the words. I read your entry and I felt very sad. I wanted to say something comforting, something wonderful that would make you feel better. The thought of you crying cut into me. You are such a fun and sassy individual and you never fail to make others happy, you certainly always make me smile and you of all people certainly deserve a huge Mountain of happiness. I thought maybe a couple of well place barbs or insults to HK would make you smile but he probably is a wonderful man after all you love him and that would be stupid of me. Before i make things worse I'm going to get out of here but know this, there are a whole bunch of folks here than really care about you. And I (in my best 18 year old frame of mind) think your HOT :-)
from arc-angel666 :
Good Evening Xat: I agree we (Men) are beautiful, why is it more of you can't just brush our long lovely Hair and tell us we are pretty? Would it hurt that much for you to call us in the middle of the day just to let us know your thinking of us? How much time would it take to drop us a note telling us how much we mean to you? To open an occasional car door, flowers wouldn't hurt. :-) My guess on the good Dr. is he may be your Creative Writng Professor, someone in one of your film classes. Or someone who appreciates your work and is of the opinion if never seen never published. It is an interesting combination of negative reenforcement, a pinch of that a Girl followed by I believe in you, nit me a sweater and a swift kick to the pants to put a little Git in your Gitty-up. Obviously a Fan. Sounds like a Wise Man to me.
from faddah :
one more thing... are you like bill clinton (considering his presidential library just cut the ribbon and opened in arkansas), and are the woman from hope? jez curious.
from faddah :
awwww... man. dat byootiful men piece me feel... well... downright purrty. i feel pretty... oh so pretty... ;o)
from marsist :
heh. Zero couldn't get that tune out of his head yesterday either. did you happen to catch it on TV the other night too, or do you guys just have a weird psychic connection? ;)
from drdiabolicus :
Um. Yeah, I suppose knitting is a mighty fine passtime. I don't really want to knock it, but I find this whole dialog a little too precious. As in silly. Perhaps it's just a harmless diversion, but I'm reminded of those old Bob Dylan lyrics..."Einstien disquised as Robin Hood, with his memories in a trunk, passed this way an hour ago with his friend a jealous monk". So whats up? Everyone, has the potential, to knit and bullshit endlessly with a bunch of self important drunks. Everyone, doesn't have the potential, to write a great screenplay, and then create a great film. It's a question of priority. I'm seeing less talented people, baking bigger cakes. And, I'm seeing less talented people just bursting with pretensions. So, the question is "What are you up to?" Are you just knitting sweaters, or are you "Weaving" webs. You're clever enough, I'd like to think you are secretly writing everything down, or taping. Honestly, if you have clear vision, what you are seeing before you is much more fantastic than anything you could make up. I'd be ever so pleased, if you gave birth to an Olivia Manning type of expose'. You have a giant head, stuffed full of high quality brains. When you decide to stop thinking about things, and you begin to start doing things, you'll rock the world. As for the talented MllE......Three words; Twelve Step Program. She could carpool with Chief Broom. Wait! Perhaps a bus! Then W.C., M.M., and countless others could ride along. For the talented x.....Three words; Rise up, Arjuna! Oh, yeah, I just noticed....I'm being a jerk! Three words; Bad Boy! Bad! I become rather caustic late at night. Shame on me! I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. Or, failing that, you won't recognise who I am! Regards, Puck PS. Write it down. Much of it is going to end badly. From such entrails great stories are knitted.
from hissandtell :
Well. I have no idea at all, really. But for some reason, when I was reading about your dream I first started thinking about John Lautner, and then Frank Gehry (who is apparently Brad's favourite architect), and then by the end with the Dali reference I'd segued in my mind to Frank Lloyd Wright's "Fallingwater". (And I read recently that Brad is keen to remake "The Fountainhead".) So, obviously I think it's a dream all about esoteric things like foundations, scaffolding and construction... Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Strange and vaguely Bohemian? Oh your talking about the shoulder bag..not me. I have a couple of buddies that are involved in that shitstorm you speak of. Which end of it is Hato-Kun at? You know come to think of it, this probably isn't the best place to speak of this. My email is [email protected] As far as getting married...there is no doubt that will happen for you...just choose wisely. Your intelligent, a Babe, and you Sew! There are car caravans forming as we speak...destination....Oregon....purpose or should I say Pursuit of Xat.
from hissandtell :
(Which, incidentally, is why I could never chat up that slouchy stoopy sway-backed hunchy-shouldered Gwyneth Paltrow: even if she were to come on to me in an outrageously forward fashion.)
from hissandtell :
Men, sex and vibrators, hey? Well, honestly. Who couldn't chat at uncomfortable length about any one of those subjects, let alone the whole kit and caboodle? And just quietly, posture that warrants effusive compliments does it for me every time - whether I'm wearing sunglasses at night or not. Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
You back! Damn what was it 3-4 months? Well,it seem at least that long. I am sorry things didn't go as well as plan. I wish I could say something that might help, make you feel better but I think I might make things worse. Anyway I want you to know I LIKE YOU...see that's what I mean.. My comments are like having a broken leg and I step in and you get a tooth ache. I do like the idea of your Coffee Shop...Regular, DeCaf and you might add one more, nasty 2 day old stuff with extra caffiene...I'll buy it all. Plus you could make a fortune with that take no shit attitude, well that is if you open in LA. Folks from the West Side will line up to be verbally beaten and a occasional open hand slap($5 for the slap). Honeybunny I'm glad your back and if it will make you feel better you may slap me (once).
from hissandtell :
Well, darling, I'd patronise your coffee shop, of course. After all, there's very little I won't do for a good pastry or four and a half-decent coffee. But you'd have to promise to wear a Cheongsam and black stockings and stiletto mules and cat's-eye makeup and red lipstick. Oh, and to jab your Shinai about when you're not taking any shit. (An aside: Soylent Gringo? Ha!) Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Not that I spend a lot of time in art spaces, but it always amazes me that they lack so many basic amenities, like, oh, heat and light and bathrooms. I can't help but believe it's part of the "starving artist" idiom, in which, if you can afford a few nice things, you're not as serious.
from niceguymike :
That one was somewhat clearer -- I'm thinking your guy didn't want to deal with you moving and going to school (PLEASE! correct me if I'm wrong!) -- but this really is far more of an opportunity than you can see right now. Last year, my health benefits were cancelled for nonpayment by the company that bought us, didn't pay us, lost all our clients and then went bankrupt, I moved, gained and lost a girlfriend, dealt with a job that essentially used me in order to get a client (then discarding me) and moved again. This year, I'm thankful that all those things happened, or I'd still be stuck in stuff that wouldn't have worked long-term. Bright sides are almost never easy to see at the time, but they get a lot more visible as you go along.
from niceguymike :
OK, you're just going to have to elaborate on that entry.
from arc-angel666 :
I loved what you had to say and agree completely. And a very Large Hooray! Yay! Cool and Bitchen for you that your Man is nearly here! And here's to tomorrow and to two great people that will soon be Lovin each other big time. I suggest you have the Paramedics and Fire Department at the ready in case the two of you start a fire, after all love is combustible, I too have burst into flames over the love of a Woman LOL. Have a wonderful time!
from hissandtell :
Xat, darling, this snarky little rant cracked me up. I especially enjoyed your comments about the inherent menace of perfectly-manicured-and-coiffed ranch-style homes, since they tend to invoke the archest of my myriad suburban aversions. And I'm there, baby, for Chriskwasolyulkah! I'm already planning to celebrate by gorging myself on fried banana and peanut-butter sandwiches in The King's name, while gathering my family and friends around to wassail themselves silly while we watch quasi-pornography starring teenage girls with beehives wearing little white cotton knickers, and hum-singing "The Little Drummer Boy" in a Tupelo accent. You see, the line about how "The ox and lamb kept time" gets me every time: I adore anthropomorphism. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I particularly like the line about "No one, on their deathbed, wishes that they'd bought the double-deluxe, extra holiday thingy with the light-up bells." Ya know, that's a true thing.
from marsist :
I watch TV every night and I haven't seen one Bush or Kerry ad. not one. how weird is that?
from hissandtell :
Only five days? You bitch. I have another fifteen... Love, R xxx
from awittykitty :
I used to be a newspaper critic and would always try to give a positive spin to every review I wrote even if it was "Nice shoes in the second act". Finally one show was so horrible I said it needed two more weeks of rehearsal. The people from the show threatened to pull all the advertising from the newspaper and I got fired. So much for expressing an opinion in America.
from arc-angel666 :
Oh goody,I rarely get to do this any more. It seems such a waste that the Army spent so much money and time teaching me to parlay in foreign tongues.....so what do I do with it? I fool around on the net lol. Cher Xat vous etes chanceux. Pour aimer et eter a amime est ma partee preferee de vie. That there is frenchy talk. Da francese ad Italiano, ci e niente di piu importante dell amore e quando nell amore ritengo importan...a taste of Eye-towel-ian. This I'd like on my Tombstone (In English not German). So lang, wie Sie mich lieben, sterbe ich uberhaupt. I speak some Russian, College Latin and can cuss like the Dickens in a number of Asian languages lol. It is hard to talk pretty in the others, speaking of love in Russian just doesn't do it for me, unless, your Boris and Natasha or Bullwinkle and Rocky lol. I am glad You are going to see your Man soon...don't hurt yourself. I know you speak French, but in case you don't speak Italian or German I said, From French to Italian, there is nothing more important than love and when in Love I feel important. In German As long as you love me I shall never die. In Case Major Brookshire from the Army's Language school in Monterey reads this, Major what I said above I meant in a pure military sense..or Sgt.Major Fletcher of November CO.2BN 503d of the 173d ABN, Soldiers love too...wooah!
from hissandtell :
Here's my theory on life: never apologise and never explain - except, maybe, to people you know and love. NEVER, EVER attempt it with a stranger! Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Hato-Kun? Interesting name, is he an interesting fellow? You said maybe I'm a dummy...explain please. You don't sound like a dummy, I doubt you drool, well unless viewing me in athletic poses lol. It just dawned on me, I wasn't invited to comment here and it seems I just butted into your personal life..sorry.
from arc-angel666 :
Dear Xat: First after hearing of your tight and low cut Jeans, White Alabaster Skin, dark hair, lipstick, pubes shaved or not standing naked in a twisted hip position dressed in socks covered in a white gooey stuff....it seems the wrinkle has left my tinkle lol. Damn Honeybunny give a guy a break will ya? So if that dumby in LA doesn't straighten up would you consider seeing an unbathed, one eyed, one legged Man? Before you say no, remember should you decide to lay down with me, the sex can be measured in Nano seconds and I'm horribly selfish in bed with no technique, And I sleep with everybody and occasionally outside my species. I know, I know, terribly impressive. Whew.....Well time to go back to my preoccupation of gabbing and drinking coffee with the girls listen to them talk about sore nipples and waiting for the Prozac to kick in.
from niceguymike :
In the 20 years I've lived in Washington, I've never understood the validation thing. But perhaps that's because I don't really need anyone else to concur with what I've done, or tell me I'm good for me to believe it.
from niceguymike :
Getting rid of books is a bitch. There's going through everything, giving up books you *might* want to read again, and hauling the damned heavy things around. And then getting a few cents for something you paid $8 for. And the bit about being alone, well, take my word for it: sometimes being alone beats the alternative.
from hissandtell :
I feel for you culling books, darling; it's a bitch. I've been looking at my swollen shelves over the past few days and despairing. I just don't think I can justify building even more of them, and I've already taken over several rooms as it is. I'll be throwing out saucepans soon to take over kitchen cupboards for my tomes, at this rate! And dying alone? Pish tosh. I plan to have all my friends there, drinking margaritas and cracking jokes and reciting poetry. I do hope you can make it as MC! Shall we say, in another hundred years or so? Much love, R xxx
from marsist :
my honest opinion? I think humor is a better, more mature response to a negative review than peevishness. considering how the guy *could* have reacted (after all, you laid into his personal appearance as well as the band's music), his comment was pretty mild. my $.02.
from niceguymike :
Hey, the mouth hurts like hell right now (even after three Vicodin and four Tylenol PMs in four hours), but there are an awful lot of positives in this ... like the insurance, among other things. And thanks a bunch for the mouth mojo. I can use it, especially right now.
from arc-angel666 :
I could send it again if you'd like?
from niceguymike :
That whole affirmation thing just KILLS me about the Northwest! People will do almost anything to avoid saying something that isn't completely positive. My favorite was someone who was complaining about another driver. Her comment was intended to be racist, because she attributed the bad driving to the woman being Japanese, but she worked really hard to not come off that way. "I was driving behind this Oriental woman who was going TWENTY-FIVE miles under the speed limit. Not that her being Oriental had anything to do with it, and I'm sure that, in many cultures, slow driving is considered a mark of carefuless and attention to detail, and really I didn't have to be anywhere that immediately, and I'm sure she's really an excellent driver, maybe she was lost or in a new city or it was a new car or something. But couldn't they teach these people to drive when they come over here? Although she was probably raised here, and just was being exceptionally careful in heavy traffic. It had NOTHING to do with her being Oriental."
from arc-angel666 :
Did you get my pictures? I sent it through X-mail, I assumed that meant Your email.
from arc-angel666 :
So what did you think? Not my picture, Farscape silly. I liked it so much so I watch it again. A while back my agent looked into the possiblity of working an episode or two on the show, I do like Claudia Black so. And I'd do Ryjal in a heart beat, God thats the most attractive Slug I've ever seen. I like New Zealand, and the land of Aussies, but it wasn't meant to be. They wouldn't honor a SAG contract and I ain't gonna work without one. So what do you think?
from arc-angel666 :
Hello Xat: There is nothing Dorky about being completely and hopelessly addicted to Farscape my Peace Keeper Lovely, I your Scarran Admirer would rather watch Farscape over letting the air out of Studio EXEC's and Producers tires( MY favorite past time). I too have an Orange Aura, but I don't suffer from depression, I"M to busy cutting myself and crying all day for that lol.
from arc-angel666 :
I sent it through your email at diaryland. No big deal they were nudes of me in various athletic poses lol.
from dangerspouse :
"...overblown SUV" - isn't that redundant? Loved the rant!
from arc-angel666 :
Driving while engaged in conversation via cellphone is a misdemeanor in some states. BUT. Talking on the cellphone stopping the flow of traffic as in a left turn lane, causing everyone to miss the opportunity to turn due to your lack of manners, because of talking about your cat's uterus removal is punishable by traumatic amputation (in all states, well damn it, it should be). I have taken the law into my own hands as a traffic vigilante. When the Law fails I take summary action in the form of spraying the offender windshield with Fecal matter. As gratifying as it is being a Traffic Crusader and getting fecal with offenders on the highways there is sacrifice. One must carry a small trowel or kid's sand shovel along with a mid size pale filled with a vareity of Poo, it can be rather odoriferous. One must accept the fact that you may be wounded in the heat of battle. While flinging Poo due to high speed and windage the flinger may catch a face full. But then again who here hasn't been shit faced before? Speaking of Poo, did you receive my email?
from hissandtell :
Please; beat away. What always amuses me (no, wait, not amuses - what's that other word like that? Infuriates? Incenses? Exasperates? Pisses off? Annoys the living crap out of?) is that the people who drive'n'dial (and, btw, using a mobile phone while operating a vehicle is illegal in this state, although it doesn't stop 'em, the bastards) are almost always the trace-IQ ones who you just know can barely hold a cup or tie their shoelaces, let alone manage either driving or mobile-phone-using separately - even under the most optimum of all possible circumstances - let alone together AND in combination with, say, breathing. (Hey, it's a hellishly awkward sentence, I know. But I just woke up.) Love, R xxx
from arc-angel666 :
Damn you, I didn't want to Love you, But Jesus tap dancing Christ, Woman you Sew! Atop of that you love Farscape, have you no Heart She Devil? Well sitting in a read-through this morning I began to day dream, it was X rated to say the least. You were dressed in a Tee shirt that said I turn Gay Men, A lime green throng and Shaq high top Basketball shoes. WE were at a Trekkie Convention. Before us stood the entire crew of the Enterprise, dressed up wanna be's, you turned to me reached inside my levi's removing my 12 inch/7 bls dried Salami I use to troll the malls with, gave me a wink and proceed to beat the livin shit out of the imposters with my fake Dic. Flash we were back at your house...You said I'm going to take a nap. I ask could we have sex? You said do what you will but don't wake me up...God it was beautiful. But it was a dream. I don't want to Love you...but something tells me you love tight shoes and bumper to bumper traffic...don't tease me. I'm begging you on the knees of my heart, don't hurt me. Oh before I forget I need my Salami back I'm going to a concert tomorrow. Good Night Devil Woman
from hissandtell :
Oh, you crafty little clacky-needlewoman, you. It all sounds sublime (but not in the searing temperatures we're experiencing here today, mind you.) Hey, speaking of morality legislation and all, as we were, do check out this article: http://www.thecouriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,11085301%255E952,00.html - it warmed the cockles of my cynical old heart. Or something. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Thanks! And I'm glad you found the Bryson for cheap. It's really hard to indulge reading on a found-newspaper budget.
from arc-angel666 :
Whew! God I thought I had already blown it. Truly I thought I'd made progress and somehow you found me strangely exciting, you know the way most feel when seeing a horribly disfigured one eyed man who hasn't bathe in a year. I should stop I'm such a tease, I haven't bathe in two years. If you are interested there is something you should know. When it comes to sex...what I lack in size and technique I make up for in speed...now calm down you already have a man...oh I forgot I'm selfish in bed, mustn't forget the good stuff lol. Loved your book review, and I'm glad your not angry at me...you know how sensitive us actors are?
from marsist :
ooh, now I'm curious about the chockfullosuck book! post a choice excerpt, mebbe?
from arc-angel666 :
I wasn't insinuating or casting dispersion on your project. I was merely attempting to be funny. Apparently unsucessfully. AS far as my professionalism, it comes into question daily. Directors, producers, notes from the Production office and on occasion from other actors. Its not that I'm unprofessional, I just don't want to waste any good acting.
from arc-angel666 :
Prime Mate? Ventriloquist and a Mime now that had to have some interest dialogue....Words bouncing off the walls and absolutely no verbal response from the other...that would be funny. How does a Mime sweet talk a Ventriloquist? Maybe as the words of the ventriloquist cirle around behind the mime he or she thinks she or he said them? After reading your response does Xat have a bit of a problem with the said director's vision LOL? Lowly writer! Sweetie you have been listening to too many Producers/Directors and remember the Script Supervisor is your best friend on the set. Directors, Producers and sometimes the actors must give in to the Word Police..Script Supervisor.
from dangerspouse :
Fancy-schmancy bags indeed! If I were more secure in my sexuality I would definitely carry one. (I need something to hold my MAC shit). Hey, thanks for sympathising with my BBQ abandonment woes. I tell ya, I'd almost rather have AIDS than leave real BBQ. That bastard will pay, PAY I tell you!!
from arc-angel666 :
Sorry I just left a note for you at my place instead of here. Okay kiddies can we say stupid? Very good, now kiddies let say Mikey is Stupid.....Very good indeed and so true lol.
from niceguymike :
Little Sister lives in Beaverton and is *always* going to the library. She particularly likes that they have videos for rent. Burlington is lame enough that it doesn't even have videos, and because we have no county library system in Skagit County, I can't borrow from the Mount Vernon library without paying a $20-a-quarter usage fee -- which I currently don't want to invest in. Maybe you can find it used, or find someone to borrow from ... I was fortunate enough to have Hissandtell decide that I should read everything by Bryson and send me all his books. I think the "Short History" actually came from Powell's.
from arc-angel666 :
Sorry I just left a note for you at my place instead of here. Okay kiddies can we say stupid? Very good, now kiddies let say Mikey is Stupid.....Very good indeed and so true lol.
from niceguymike :
Your entry on history settles it. You *have* to read "A Complete History of Nearly Everything".
from arc-angel666 :
Hello Xat: Saw you on Dangerspouse, Dicentrah and Ms DO list. Thought I'd come visit. Glad I did. Volcano, Seismic Activity and Film School, aren't they all the same thing lol? Well, you have certainly pick a hard Row to Hoe.
from dangerspouse :
God, I just LOVE the word "lagniappe"!! It's like some sort of bonus word or something. On the other hand, I now feel like a real heartless bastard for using the self-checkout lines at BJ's. Shit. Thanks a lot.
from niceguymike :
You're right; Bryson is totally cool. I have read Mother Tongue, and, although I imagine some of his conclusions may not be of the highest quality, it was a fascinating read. I can't think of any other writer who could convince me to study up on science and technology. *laughing* And, yeah, I think the green pens are probably a good call. Those red pens really are scary!
from onecrazylife :
Hey this is great reading!
from dicentrah :
Yay for the petition filing. Congrats on you, love.
from niceguymike :
Nope, gotta be blue pens. In journalism, they have these special blue pens you use to mark up copy (kind of a light blue, almost like a highlighter). Red pens are so ... accountant. Come to think of it, I have red pens all over my office. And lots and lots of highlighters.
from hissandtell :
Oh, darling, how I want your fabulous life. (But, like, without the knitting commissions, which I would, like, totally balls up.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Well. Your black velvet painting sounds exquisite. For some reason, I'm thinking it would fit right in at my place. Would it go with my lava lamps and crystal balls and carved wooden vampire bats hanging from the ceiling and the wall display of black patent vinyl handbags shaped like corsets and coffins and devils' heads, and those saucy little wiggling Hawaiian girl bobbers whose hips are on springs? I just bet it would, you designer maven, you! Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
I'd actually rather not think about the contents of my boss' skivvies, if you don't mind, and he's already come to the attention of the IRS (which discovered that our accountant programmed our payroll program incorrectly, so we didn't pay all the social security and medicare we were supposed to). Yeah, he's a butt right now, but I'm assured he calms down after the 15th. Stay tuned -- same bat time, same bat channel.
from niceguymike :
Oh. My. God.
from dlandsucks :
i like you.
from hissandtell :
Goodness. I enjoyed this entry very much, but it left me feeling inadequate on so many levels. I, who have always been secretly proud of the prodigiously elastic capacity of my orifices, fear I have not a hope in hell of ever fitting votive candles wrapped in duct tape into my earlobes, you see. And somehow, that makes me feel small. What's more, I'm shattered that I never once thought of doing so. And somehow, that makes me feel mundane. Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
Whoa. That is SO outside any experience I've ever had. I mean, when I was hung by hooks it was extremely against my will (I wandered into a butcher shop without wearing a nametag. They thought I was a heiffer making a break for it). I like the votive candle earrings though - but how did he keep his hair/collar from burning?
from niceguymike :
Just wanted to say I love the visual of someone trying to lick a straight razor. I can think of a few people who should try it.
from hissandtell :
Oh, and don't fall on your shield, or trip over your words.
from hissandtell :
How utterly luscious; I could lick you. (Oh dear, I do hope that doesn't sound too forward.) Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh my goddess. Be still my beating heart. Skin tight black and gold Cheongsam? Black stockings? Spike-heeled suede shoes? Mohair cardie? Cat's-eye makeup? Red lipstick? Shinai? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Love, R xxx
from niceguymike :
Oh, man. Patchouli. Is there anything that says West Coast like it? (Except maybe marijuana.) I had a girlfriend who loved the scent of vanilla. I liked it, too -- even on her -- until she started using a 12-ounce bottle every three weeks on herself. That's a LOT of vanilla scent.
from dicentrah :
I've only had one experience with body casting and it was so long ago I equate it with squishing my nearly pre-pubescent toes in the mud during a play date. Hissy's right: You have the best adventures. Going to bed at 6:30 sans the sex, pales in comparision!
from hissandtell :
Oooh, now that sounds like fun. I've had a few bits of my body done, but not my whole back - which sounds like rather an interesting immobilising process, I must say. I do LOVE the "plop plop" feeling. And I've never been paid for it or had someone spout Amway at me while they were doing it! (Just quietly, with the cotton batting wrapped around you and that slight torso twist, you wouldn't have looked out of place in the Cairo Museum.) You have the very best adventures, darling. Love, R xxx
from ms-do :
Thanks xat be reading you soon i guess....smile
from niceguymike :
And being a poor old pension administrator is limiting my road trips. I was invited to visit a friend in Beaverton next weekend, but couldn't go (well, the main thing was around a chilifest, and I can't eat chili lately). Never been to Archie McPhee's, meself. I usually end up hanging out with my Seattle friends (we hardly see each other because I'm all of 70 miles north of the city) when I'm there. On the good side, I get invited to a lot of good wine-tastings, and one of my buddies does massage.
from niceguymike :
For some reason, I didn't notice until today that you're from Portland! We're practically neighbors!
from niceguymike :
Yes, that's exactly it! I can't imagine having to be aware of that sort of thing for a living. Although someone now asks me what they think is a very simple question and I can easily give them several pages of information about it, depending on any number of factors. The whole patenting/trademarking business has undergone several revisions, as we changed our minds about what constituted intellectual property. You probably have more awareness than almost anyone of how casually "trademarked" words are used!
from ms-do :
xat i've been reading your diary, hope you don't mind am gonna add you as a fav ok?
from dicentrah :
*MWAH* darling.
from dicentrah :
I agree with hissy. Gentleness, and thoughtful comments, unprovoked, often leave me thankful and terribly bewildered. We are so unused to kindness.
from hissandtell :
Oh, doll, I'm sorry to hear it. I guess this is not the best time to tell you how very beautiful you are? Or how clever and sassy and sexy and funny and naughty and all those other things we all aspire to? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Oh, darling. I guess it's partly that you're feeling a little vulnerable, and unexpected kindness and flattery from a stranger sent you over the edge. And being on the receiving end of courtly behaviour, and being effusively complimented out of the blue into the bargain when we're not really expecting it can be a little overwhelming at times, can't it? Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Dancing Republicans/Running Cows. Shit, what imagery. Extraordinarily good entry, as always, darling. Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Actually, you darlingly romantic old mad cow, I'm going to be the 90-cat (or 90-goose) lady who yells at neighbourhood children, too, (well, everyone, really) and chases them with my besom. Oh, mmmmm, sharp things. (And is it just me or is there something vaguely arousing about the offer, "Do you maybe want to sell some knitting?") Love, R xxx
from dicentrah :
Ugh, Xat. I know that grey and heavy depression from too much rain and too little sun. My condolences. Get you a full spectrum bulb and bask in it, love.
from hissandtell :
And I'm nearly passing out here with the mental image of you swanning about in lingerie sharpening your pocket knives on your new stone. I can just about smell those clove cigarettes, too. (Sadly, I still think they're kinda cool. Damn my arrested development!) Oh, the mailman just delivered a whole swag of saucy new lingerie to me this morning - ahhh, what sensual pleasures await...I only wish I had a new sharpening stone too. Godot go now! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Hey, baby, I've been meaning to tell you how much I adored the entry about the kitty straightjacket. I sent it on to a friend who's enduring similar problems with his pusscat at the moment, and he's verrry keen to hear any updates you might have. I rather love the idea of hanging errant kitties on hooks on the wall to have a good, long hard think about things. It could work with so very many species, couldn't it...?
from marsist :
this is all part of it. :) even better, this too shall pass.
from hissandtell :
A friend of mine lives with a road construction worker who is the highly-skilled foreman of his road gang. Since NO ONE on his team ever wants to be the stop/go person, being as it's such a demeaning job and all, he often has to do it himself - and is treated like shit by drivers who are cross about being detained and assume he's a functioning moron. He's been pelted with bottles, syringes and half-eaten food. Perhaps that explains the hard hats (and the fact that I've always been extra-nice to stop/go men and women since I heard his stories...) Just a thought! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
NOOOOOOO! Baseball caps with "Mrs Whoeverthefuck" on them? How bloody awful. Actually, I'd wear one that said "The Third Mrs de Winter" or something like that. Or maybe even "Mrs Dalloway". But be a self-declared chattel of one of those silly boys? Not in this lifetime or the next twenty, baby! Love, R xxx
from marsist :
Jude Law as Ozymandias. I could see it. but you know who wants to play Rorschach? WESLEY CRUSHER. Aaigh.
from hissandtell :
Oh, and I do hope that last note wasn't too, um, abyss-mal.
from hissandtell :
Nuh, no suggestions, really. Maybe create an anagram of your first name (tax? axt? txa?) and pluck a surname at random from the telephone book. Works for me. If I were a porn star (and clearly I'm not, being a respectable married woman and all) I'd want to call myself Alice Springs - except an Oz porn queen already stole that name, the bitch. So then I thought of Katherine Gorge (a remarkable geographical feature as I'm sure you'll appreciate). And then I thought, what's even bigger and deeper and more spectacular than Katherine Gorge? And it came to me as if in a dream: Mariana Trench. So you can have it as your pseudonym if you like. Since I probably won't be using it any time soon. Love, R xxx
from dicentrah :
DAMN, WOMAN! Check you out, all with the shiny picture. And the belly. And the *yum*.
from hissandtell :
Mmmm, you're my hero, you know? I plan to be the exact same kind of 85 year old as you, too. But I shall be wearing purple lipstick and tight silver leggings and a shiny bra bedecked with janglies and coins, along with my turquoise jewellery, and making my own endless pitchers of margaritas while I find more, uh, productive things for the cabana boys to do. Fabulous entry as always, Auntie Xat! Love, R xxx
from hissandtell :
Bitchin' boobs? Tits ahoy? Ah, I always gets my money's worth with your writing, you naughty girl. And I'm afraid I move my lips while I'm reading your stuff - but it tends to be a sort of uncontrollable uvula-twitching and lascivious tongue-rolling-thingy that's happening too, historically at least. Love your work!
from hissandtell :
I LOVE that quote by Johnson. I first heard it when I was 17 and at my very first English "Writing and Style" tutorial at university. My tutor modified it to "Kill off your babies", but I rather like your "kill some darlings", too. And yes, it is an excellent guideline but not one I can necessarily bring myself to subscribe to at all times, of course. (Hey, I'm writer, not a fighter.) Your poem is sensational, btw. Love, R xxx
from dicentrah :
Baby got book? ME-OW!
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the note, xat! I'll be ok thanks, once my hearing returns :) Hey, EmCee CeeCee wears a kilt too? SO DO I!! Well, actually it's a dress - a nifty DKNY strapless number. But I *call* it a kilt, so I don't get too badly damaged at the bars we go to. Loved the entry!
from hissandtell :
Have I told you lately how wonderful you are? Oh, yeah, that's right; I have. Well, please forget I mentioned it. But I did love your closing remarks. That is all.
from hissandtell :
Yes, well, that was a fabulously provocative entry today about the level of sophistication our ancestors enjoyed in their standardised tool production - but shit, how did you expect me to concentrate on it with that photograph (which I'd most certainly never seen before) distracting me all the time? She looks exactly like me, you know - except her hair's shorter. Oh, and I'm fatter. But she does manage to embody my two favourite activities. (And yours too, I'm guessing.) Love your work! R xxx
from marsist :
I'm too flaky to write much these days, but I wanted to let you know you consistently make me giggle... *grin* "sherpa"...
from hissandtell :
Skirts that facilitate gynecological examinations, hey? Now there's an image I shall carry with me all day, darling! And I just have to tell you what a shriekingly talented and hysterically funny writer you are. You're fucking brilliant, you know. Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
YOU KNOW EXIT 16-W OFF THE TURNPIKE?? You poor, poor child. No girl should have to know about that hell-on-earth til her middle years. I am so sorry. But...YAY for being the test-acing handset on the phone! (Um...is that a valid analogy for an icing-on-the-cake moment?) Hey, wait a minute - you didn't snag the pants? Ok, I could see you leaving behind the solo sock, but a pair of jeans is a pair of jeans, girl. Even if they didn't fit you could probably snag a tenner on eBay. Advertise 'em as having been worn by Orlando Bloom or sumpthin. There's a lot of salivating groupies out there willing to believe it. Great pic of Hellkitty!!
from hissandtell :
Good morning starshine! Thanks for your lovely note. I was thrilled to see you've added me to your favourites - except that it's not showing up my end. I think you might have to re-do my name in your profile list without any spaces between words so the links work properly (and so I gets my instant gratification, baby). I suppose I should also open this small window of opportunity and shout out to the world how much I adore dicentrah and dangerspouse, too...Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
Ok, so you got 13 out of 14...bravo! But, did you do the next round? That's the toughy, and I'll buy you a tonguejoy vibrator if you beat my score!! (Which was 26 out of 28 correct). Hey, Navy Beans are an endangered species!! Go easy with that knife, I prey you.
from dicentrah :
Hey--I see you've discovered dangerspouse and hissandtell. Love them!
from dangerspouse :
Aw, thanks for the sweet note, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I have to say, as an Italian I am very much confused by the sentence "I'm too upset to eat". Horrors - can it be true?? Anyway, glad you're feeling better, and thank you so much for the mention! Now go read hissandtell - she's a riot!!
from hissandtell :
Hello - I just found you through a note you left at dangerspouse's. I'm enjoying catching up on your older entries, and looking forward to reading more. Love, R xxx
from dangerspouse :
I know my stupid advice is rarely welcome, but: Some years back I had the great good fortune to ruin several promising relationships in a row because of my insane, all encompasing jealousy. After the last one, it finally seeped into the concrete block on my shoulders that perhaps "smothering control" was not one of the many definitions of "love". At the start of my next relationship I made a conscious decision to not get worked up over ANYTHING regarding her attentions to/from others. She ended up praising me for trusting her implicitly, a refreshing change from previous guys. In turn she afforded me the same trust, and as much latitude as I wanted, so I never felt stifled. It's been the most stress-free 5 years of my life - 3 of them wed to her now. So I say, if you can grit your teeth and force yourself to at least PRETEND not to be jealous, it will become easier and easier to not actually feel it, either, over time. Or you could just try Zoloft. Good luck, either way :)
from dicentrah :
I know I run the risk of sounding like a huge geek--but I *loved* your last note. I wasn't an English major for nothing!
from marsist :
thanks for the congrats :) Zero says he *must* catch up with you soon. unfortunately our roommate pulled the plug on our home internet when he left and it won't be restored till Friday. grrrrr.
from dicentrah :
Strangest thing...I logged in this morning, read your note, then looked at my buddy list to see who updated. You were one of them, so as I'm eating my breakfast, I am reading your entry. Guess what breakfast is? Yup. Red seedless grapes. Woot!
from dicentrah :
Ah, you're not far from where I am here in MA. I've seen the fountain in the Detroit airport. I was oddly drawn to it...could hardly look away. It's all those pretty water patterns. And I, too, have seen the oxygen bar. Tee hee. Enjoy your family time, woman!
from marsist :
I never heard of "chantepleure." great word.
from dicentrah :
Mmmm. Flowers. Like manna. However, I think it'd be damned cute to watch a vixen struggle to sheath her paws in the blooms of a foxglove...
from marsist :
I like that a lot...
from marsist :
thanks for the shout-out, yo! :)
from dicentrah :
Barfing out a political poem sounds about right to me. Snark! As far as bans against gay marriage--it's because people are idiots. It's the only way I can justify it in my head, at any rate!
from marsist :
I like your sentence. the porn might've been fun too, though. "Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what happened to me..."
from dicentrah :
tee hee. Good for you for shedding blood, luv. Let's see...I have worried about such in (counting in head.........)17 years. Wow! And p.s. Lucky you, Miss I-Need-To-Count-The-Days. :)
from marsist :
thank you...
from dicentrah :
That reminds me of a Susan Werner song: COURTING THE MUSE "Well I lit up all the candles And I turned out all the lights And I waited up all hours But she did not come by last night She is beautiful as music But jealous to the bone And she will only love you If you love her alone." Sorry about the BadMan. That sucks big time. Don't give up, though, eh? Eventually something always shifts.
from marsist :
that blows serious monkey dick. :( I'm sorry.
from dicentrah :
I like how long your posts have been lately...
from dicentrah :
tee hee hee. What's not to love about orgasm?
from marsist :
you must be feeling a bit down, or at least grim, about the would-have-been anniversary. I send strength. (still hunting down those pictures...)
from dicentrah :
Thanks for your good mojo... The image of motorcycle ridin' bellydancer is a good one, my friend... :)
from marsist :
ohh you have caught the Preacher fever! I'll have to show you the pictures of Scott dressed as Jesse at the dojo Halloween party... :)
from dicentrah :
My license dance looks eerily like the Snoopy dance...but I'm damn well doing it. WOOT!
from marsist :
hee! I got to do that once. had to do a scene, for class, from "Amadeus" (which I've never fully seen or read) involving seduction via chocolate, as I remember. that was... embarrassing, but fun. :)
from marsist :
"See the fucking squirrels?" WAhahahahaha
from maxguttman :
I was skipping through diaryland and I came across your diary. I think I might stay here for a while very interesting. Toodles.
from dicentrah :
"Like the man said."
from dicentrah :
Yeah, but snotting someone would be funny as hell.
from marsist :
wow, quelle fuckhead. if she was so sure it was Monday night, what'd she ask you for, anyway? sounds like she's intimidated by you in general and was looking for an excuse to pick a fight. the human equivalent of a net troll. I recommend smiling sweetly and being condescending a la Albert in Twin Peaks. "Look, it's trying to think."
from dicentrah :
If it were me, I'd approach her, tell her what she said was hurtful and uncalled for and then ignore her existence. But, you know, I'm not one to sit idly by...
from marsist :
depression? that'd make sense. have been depressed for years; I'm tired all day and then when I go to lie down, I can't sleep. all these writing ideas pop into my head, but I know if I get up to write, I won't sleep all night. yup yup yup...
from marsist :
thanks for the link! prrrrrrr
from dicentrah :
Thank you. Insomnia has kicked in and I'm finally getting around to reading. Thanks for thinking of me...
from marsist :
I like to be public about the fact that I'm a Buddhist because, well, in this part of the country it's not something you see every day. people tend to assume you're Judeo/Christian unless told otherwise. I notice some Christians like to act like they're being persecuted-- "It's not POLITICALLY CORRECT to love Jesus in this secular, cynical world, but yea though I walk through the valley of fag-loving liberals, I will stand strong," etc. I always think, woohoo, aren't you brave for being part of the freaking ruling majority. :P
from marsist :
sorry I haven't been writing lately. these are Dickensianly desperate and cold times around this place. I do think of you often, though-- I wore your boots to work today. (big thick ski-type boots. great traction!) I'm grateful in my heart :)
from marsist :
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
from dicentrah :
Hi, Xat. Thanks for crossing all appendages... :)
from marsist :
YIKES...
from marsist :
*blush* :)
from marsist :
my bad; "pretention" isn't even a word. I think I meant "pretentiousness." I need more coffee...
from marsist :
keep in mind that some people think ANYONE who tries to create art is, by nature, pretentious. I once heard that a writer is someone who can go to a library, look around at the great collected works of the ages, and say, "This isn't complete; I have something to add." the difference between pretention (I am not as talented as I think) and a healthy ego (I AM as talented as I think) is subtle but crucial.
from dicentrah :
One of the things I find most delightful about you is just that. Your sense of hope. I know it's true because the title of your page reminds me... :)
from marsist :
yay sword chicks!!! mine's a leaf-blade and it glows blue when orcs are near. or so I've been told; I guess I've never run across any orcs. :)
from marsist :
hey, break a leg! :)
from marsist :
eeeewwww...
from dicentrah :
Hilarious! I guess that eliminate the whole lonely thing though, eh?
from marsist :
yay, Ludwig! I remember him from the "Big Book of Weirdos"...
from marsist :
*grin* there's a funny image. I never understood the whole Fabio deal, but I can appreciate a nice head of hair on a man. :)
from dicentrah :
Thanks for your note! I, too, shall spend some time reading...I'm intrigued. Marsist has quoted you abundantly and that's high enough praise for me...
from marsist :
do you know that we know each other? or, I guess, a more accurate way to say it would be that we have a mutual friend, as I've only met you once... I just realized I've been going along assuming you knew who I was but now I'm not sure. lalala
from marsist :
that's beautiful...
from marsist :
it makes perfect, perfect sense, and I agree with exactly what you said. I know of a marriage that broke up because of that exact scenario. sauce for the goose, etc. speaking of which, happy Dead Bird Day.
from marsist :
I dig the cheongsam idea. :) thanks for linking to me! hope you like Diaryland.

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