messages to college-kid:
(click here to add new message):

from illusionless :
username: winner password: loser. Please delete after reading this. Thank you.
from illusionless :
Welcome back to Diaryland. Did you change your password? I can't seem to get in with the old one.
from julymalaise :
Men love to emotionally manipulate when they don't get their way. I'm sorry that happened. You don't deserve it. You will find someone worth it.
from illusionless :
Wow, you are into D&D? I have the books and DM sometimes. I also listen to D&D podcasts. I also didn't know you used Steam. If you want to add me let me know and I'll give you my info.
from drascus :
I had no idea you played D&D. I am a DM and a moderator on Tabletop Simulator. Search Steam groups for "ttsrpgg". I go by "pigneedle" on Steam.
from illusionless :
I'm so sorry :'(
from illusionless :
A little TMI here, but oh well. I have heavy periods as well and I get fatigued and physically exhausted during that time. I find a good thing to help combat that is to keep iron rich foods on hand like: spinach, fish, white and red meat, lentils, and nuts and seeds. To name a few. Try to incorporate an iron rich food into every meal during that time and it should help. It helps me. I do feel a difference when I bother to follow my own advice ^_^. Also talk to your doctor for some medical advice if you are concerned. Hope this helps.
from illusionless :
I'll keep Irish in my prayers for ya. :) Glad W meeting your family went well. Haha I can relate to your bro going in full brother mode. My older brother does the same thing, not so much with relationships but when it comes to my safety and being independent. He worries. Such is life eh?
from illusionless :
Thank you for the positive feedback. I don't think it was me listening to my body, but my body not listening to me. If that makes any sense. You're right. At least I tried. I don't have a fear of heights so it was easy to go all the way up there. For me it was fear of the unknown feeling that would come with falling. I'm glad nobody has judged me harshly yet. Congrats on your new main squeeze. :D Sounds like you two are really happy together. I couldn't be happier for you both. Looking forward to hearing all the exciting things ahead for you. :)
from illusionless :
Thank you for the kind words. I feel better after a good nights sleep and chatting with a friend this morning. Haters gonna hate. What can ya do right? :)
from illusionless :
Happy Birthday! <3
from illusionless :
Do what you gotta do hun. I'll miss you and hope to see you update again soon. :)
from illusionless :
I've thought what you have about the diagnosis and medication over a million times. The good thing is that you have the right to choose your treatment. Whether you take meds or not, how much meds you take, etc. If a doctor tries to put you on 8+ meds RUN! That is dangerous. My rule of thumb is to take no more than 2 meds a day (not counting vitamins) my max number would be 3-4 if absolutely necessary but no more than that. Your therapist sounds level-headed, from what you write, so I would discuss your feelings with him. In the end, no decision is set in stone when it comes to treatment. It is a real trial and error road so I would recommend you keep a journal of your moods both on and off meds, what med(s) you are taking, if you have to switch when you did and how you feel after both emotionally and if any side-effects come up. It will help you and your doctor determine the right fit for you. If you don't decide to go on meds that's cool too. I wish you luck on your journey.
from illusionless :
Sorry to keep bugging you with my notes. :D Your entries invoke such reaction and emotions I me. I think you are so smart to be able to see things the way you are. Having any sort of rebound relationship would only hurt both parties in the end. You are aware of your own feelings and you are sticking to your guns. You are looking within and taking action to better your life. All these things are not easy to do. To have that sort of self-love even if it seems you may not like yourself is more valuable than diamonds or gold. If he waits good, if he doesn't there are always other fish in the sea. :) Whatever is meant to happen will happen. I don't know if you believe in God or not so I won't get preachy and leave it to a well known saying. :)
from illusionless :
I understand you are frustrated, but you are actually doing really well from where I see it. You are working toward your goals the best you can. Be kind to yourself and remember that balance is key. You don't want to deprive yourself too much or else sticking with healthy eating won't work. You will get there one day at a time.
from illusionless :
Don't beat yourself up about letting yourself be controlled. Manipulative people are crafty. Also, good for you for kicking the other person out of your life. You deserve better. Now you can chalk them up to experiences and lessons learned in life. I believe everyone in our lives comes and goes for a reason.
from illusionless :
Thanks! :) Good for you for putting yourself first. You'll accomplish all your goals. I believe in you.
from illusionless :
When you are all caught up on your coding maybe I could hit you up for a custom diaryland template. ;)
from illusionless :
*Although you should indulge in your hobbies when not single also ;)
from illusionless :
You're not a bad person at all! Don't believe those thoughts saying you are. I know it's unthinkable right now, but you will move on and unconsciously think about him less and less until you meet someone wonderful who will fill your heart with joy again. Until then be patient and feel what you feel. Don't berate your feelings, just let them be there regardless of what they are. Emotions aren't logical and that's okay. .hugs. I know depression makes it hard to enjoy things, but while you're single try to indulge in your hobbies when you have time. That should help keep your mind on other things.
from julymalaise :
Hi! I've seen that you locked up and was wondering if I could have the password ? I don't update much, but I'm around time to time. I understand if you want to have your privacy though at this time if that is the reason why you locked it up. I hope everything is good.
from illusionless :
Hi College-kid. I used to read your diary years ago. Then I left D-land for 4 years and now I'm back. I'm sorry an important relationship ended for you. It's his loss in the end! Let yourself grieve and when you're ready get out there and find someone who actually deserves your awesomeness! :D Are you still in school or are you finished now? It sounds like you are taking the proper steps to figure out who you are and what you want in life. :) I look forward to reading more and also looking back on all I've missed from you.
from catsoul :
hi. Been awhile since I have read. Alot has been going on in your life. Take Care. =^..^=
from happyone :
Your recent entries sound all too familiar to me...moving on from a relationship is hard, but you'll get there. You're BEAUTIFUL and must be extremely smart if you're a microbiologist. Not just anyone can do that stuff! Any guy would be lucky to have you! You've got this!
from raven72d :
Just found you, so this is a random note from a very new reader: Music will help. At least it'll give you a way to step outside everything for a few minutes.
from musikoid :
Music has the power to see humanity through any crisis imaginable. You are wise to turn to Music in times of trial.
from jimbostaxi :
Beautiful pics! Done be so hard on yourself
from musikoid :
This might help - https://dailygreatness.co/blogs/be-your-own-guru/52291205-12-reasons-why-hitting-rock-bottom-is-the-best-thing-that-can-ever-happen-to-you
from joistmonkey :
Randomly chanced upon yourself, enjoyed your intelligent writing. Plus you can do no wrong as far as I am concerned, as a fellow Microbiology major :-)
from dangerspouse :
I hope you start writing here again. You're very talented. Enjoy the movie with your mom...unless it's a porn flick. Then don't. Or at least pretend not to. Don't ask me how I know....
from musikoid :
First – it’s not a thing of your deserving or not deserving this. It is a thing of life, an experience of new suffering, through which you learn more about life, and experience more of its nuances, and enter more deeply into its subtle places, and emerge a wiser and more empowered human being. Second – it is happening for a reason, and no doubt your eyes will open to the newness of life that is left in this wake. Third – if you need to cry, go ahead and cry. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Your tears are going to see you through. Fourth – Self-love is a tricky concept. Don’t believe everything you hear or even think on the topic. Love is a Universal force of life-giving support for all living beings. Me personally, I find that I love myself best when I am able to love others. Self-love does NOT come first – it comes as a result of having first received love and then provided love for others. Don’t beat yourself to death trying to love yourself. That will only drive you nuts. Be open to the Energy of Love. Fifth – You are worthy of love. You are worth loving, and somebody loves you. Sixth – It’s not about being equipped or not equipped to deal with it. You are dealing with it – and admirably so – with genuine honesty and feeling. Therefore you are equipped. Seventh – It’s not about hating or loving or even fully knowing who you are. You are you. It is about Love. You love Music. You love singing. You love playing the guitar. Play your guitar. Play your guts out. Sing. Sing your heart out. Sing whatever words come to mind, to whatever chords come to mnd, to whatever feeling you are feeling at that moment, and you will more than love the love of you in that place of spontaneity, of illumination, of creative catharsis and release. You will be Singer-Songwriter. Others will draw courage from your words. Music is the Universal unspoken language of Love.
from jimbostaxi :
Dear college kid, I know it's hard but there's this quote that I once heard in a movie that used to help me when the sadness was overwhelming.. find a small inch deep inside you and start with that. An inch...it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape your sadness, I hope that the world turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though We do not know you, and even though We may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you,We love you. From your buds at Dland
from happyone :
Hi, friend! I have been in your situation before and the only thing that really helps is time. I could be anywhere, doing anything-sitting on the toilet, on the elliptical at the gym, chatting with friends-and my mind would still be on that person. It sucks, but it will pass! Try chatting up some other guys online or something, lol.
from dangerspouse :
You poor thing. I hope you find succor soon. Lovesickness has the same effect as perfringens enterotoxin. Hang in there.
from drascus :
The obvious solution is to stop loving people.
from musikoid :
I was feeling depressed and I remembered what a comfort DiaryLand used to give me when I kept a public diary here and code-named all then identifiable people, places and things. I don't know you, but reading what you wrote since you came back, maybe that's what was going on with you too. I'll send good thoughts your way. The important things always happen for a reason.
from dangerspouse :
GOOD LORD! And just mere months after I'd striken you from my Favorite list, thinking you were dead. Glad you haven't succumbed, and hope you start posting once in a while now.
from dangerspouse :
So...what now? What comes after you're so. fucking. done?
from drascus :
I highly doubt you made it out of C-Town so you could be treated like shit. Time to drop your pants and fuck the world as hard as it deserves.
from nessus :
Sorry to hear first job didn't work out :(
from jimbostaxi :
Welcome back to D-land :0)! Hopefully the backround check will get done soon and then that bad experience you had Will be a distant memory! They will be lucky to have you !! Happy holidays! :0)
from dangerspouse :
Welcome to the world of office politics and 401-k insecurities! Woot woot! Really, congratulations. All of us here who've read you for any time at all were pulling for you. Our little baby is all grown up! :)
from newschick :
congrats! jobs ALWAYS have a way of working out. kudos to your new career and good luck!
from stepfordtart :
*doing the happy happy joy joy dance* - cos you knew I would! s x
from stepfordtart :
'to be continued' is good - after all, we all want to know what will happen in the next chapter. We're nosy like that! s x
from bantenhut :
to be continued, I hope! Or, whatever floats your lifeboat. :)
from bliss-sad :
Diaries are meant for insecurity laden rants. Cut yourself some slack. Whenever you doubt your awesomeness, just slap yourself in the face with that BA of yours. <3
from stepfordtart :
Of course you passed - youre fabulous! s x
from dangerspouse :
Congratulations!! That M.S. should be a breeze for you :)
from stepfordtart :
How about a baby shampoo? Surely thats got to be about as gentle as you can get, huh? And affordable to, I think. s x
from nessus :
Yey passing all your classes!
from stepfordtart :
No youre not. s x
from jimbostaxi :
Kelley cried for hours:0( it was a big mess over here but she finally calmed down.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! :0) I saw on one of your posts you mentioned cucumber as a snack, Im going to try that its a whole lot heathier than chips. Good job on the match and the models!
from jimbostaxi :
Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities. Game of Thrones :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer with me in the taxi and use rubbing alcohol on the phones and work area before I start my shift. Im thinking about spraying lysol directly on people as they enter the taxi or office but management would not appreciate it :0)
from newschick :
im the same bc i eat a lot of fruit...if thats the same for you then try to combine a fruit with protein...it should balance it out a bit better.
from catsoul :
hi, being a diabetic since I was in my teens, I suggest eating more protein. You want to pick carbs/& or sugars that are long lasting, like rice, or an apple. I like PB on an apple. Good luck, I am sure you will find the middle ground. Spiking sugar levels should be avoided if possible. It is like a roller coaster ride for your body. =^..^=
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note :0) im a little nervous about his family needing to talk to me. I think there looking for a bad guy to blame for his condition.
from jimbostaxi :
My coworker is in bad shape hes still in I.C.U disorientated. Last night he ripped out his I.V and monitors so they tied him down. After I left the hospital I went on mission to find his brother who lives locally. When I arrived at the house there was no answer so I posted a note stating his brother was in the hospital and signed it Good Samiritan :0)
from jimbostaxi :
I love Mad Men! Peggy is my favorite character, but Joan can jump in my taxi anytime !! :0)
from idontpretend :
Both Pell grant and federal loans. Fed gov instituted new SAP requirements a year or so ago. Really screwed me over hardcore. They don't care I'm 2 classes away from being done, or that I've gotten really good grades. Or that my own class advisers gave me really bad information that set me back in my degree path. Thanks for the encouragement. <3
from jimbostaxi :
Im sorry to read about your uncle being so sick. My prayers and thoughts go out to your family.
from nessus :
Crisp Autumn = doubleplusgood.
from drascus :
Yeah, but not the viral video kind of famous. More of the "more camera time than anyone else from your hometown received" type of famous. Todd doesn't count because he doesn't have a soul.
from stepfordtart :
SQUEEEEEEE to the High B!!!!!! s x
from julymalaise :
I hope your boyfriend is okay. Hopefully, everything is good. Do keep us updated...
from drascus :
I hear you're famous.
from julymalaise :
Hey, nice picture. Lovely beach scene!
from julymalaise :
E!nstein Bro5 sounds like cool place to eat breakfast. Did they have good food? And chocotaco? That sounds delicious as well. And dried mangoes are perfect for any summer treat. I love oragnic markets, they are so cool!
from famoustn :
Thanks, that means a lot! :)
from famoustn :
Just wanted to drop by and say that I love your entries.
from stepfordtart :
No its not. I just joined a band. Im 45. The last time I was in a band I was 20. DO IT. Find an open mic night somewhere and just get up there. s x
from nessus :
Not silly at all. Find people in your area who want to make the same kind of music and just do it.
from julymalaise :
I know, thank goodness diaryland will always be here. I do not know what I would do if it wasn't. Oh dear, I would probably be a mess... lol!
from comebacktome :
Why, hellloooo! I am sorry, I only just saw your add, but thankyou :) BTW, if it makes you feel better- I think everyone studying, particularly if it's hard- has those points of just wanting it to be done. I think the fact that you are even attempting to do hard ass science makes you a boss! Chin up and smash it, hulk style ;)
from stepfordtart :
Aww. Thats not good. May you find a little peace with yourself very soon as you are actually pretty darned terrific. s x
from lostasyou :
Feel better xo
from julymalaise :
I got tired of it and it's gets annoying after a while, you know? So we can sympthasize with each other. He was running getting on my nerves and harassing me. We ignored each other today and he tried to look at my paper, but I had nothing written down on it, so ha! He's a sucker! I'm sorry, but copying off people's papers is really getting old with me...
from idontpretend :
He's worse than a jerk, he's a predator. There are people that prey on other people like that. This idiot has mistakenly gotten it into his head that he can dominate and control me through physical and psychological intimidation. If he doesn't back down he's going to find out the hard way I'm nobody's bitch. I'm not even gay too. That just makes it even creepier and makes me want to bash his face in that much harder.
from nessus :
Pen pal! My email's hindmost_@hotmail.com
from julymalaise :
Hhahaha, the Big Bang Theory is soooo funnny!
from julymalaise :
Lol, yeah, it is like the study of fruits and whatnot. It goes along with my gardening class. My pomology class is actually a horticulture class, lol. I was just doing some homework on pomology and called it that! LOL.
from julymalaise :
Thanks for the very kind words, my dear and I hope you are getting through this as well. And I did do some things as you told me to (Whenever I am stressed, I read a book and listen to music.) and I thank you for that. My mind is now at ease and now I am able to work out a plan without getting worked up over completely nothing. I do hope it gets better. Being a senior sucks in so many ways, but yet is awesome at the same time. I guess it doesn't matter what type of senior you are! LOL!
from nessus :
Heh. I think mine goes back over a decade. I have the opposite reaction when I read those entries; I cringe.
from julymalaise :
You're certainly welcome, my friend and we need more people like your professor in this world. A person who takes in the day and appreciates it for what it is. I think all of us forget to do that sometimes...but that is good you know you are happy with life! Live for the moment and appreciate the beauty of life...
from julymalaise :
That is so sad and completely horrible. I can't imagine how you feel and how everyone else is taking on this matter. It's sad how people end their lives when they needed someone to comfort them and steer them into happiness and you are right, it makes you grateful you have friends that will be there and that you have people you love. It's devastating. In the eighth grade, this boy got hit by a trolley and I remember it was just after the dance and everyone was sad and crying the next day and it was just a very solemn morning and afternoon. I hope you are doing well, my friend. This is saddening...
from stepfordtart :
How horrible! So sorry to hear that. We had a suicide in my school last year and it was dreadful - messed up so many people along the way, adults and kids alike. *thinking of you* s x
from nessus :
Thank yew!
from nessus :
I am fortunate that I can pay it, just sucks, though.
from raven72d :
Fun ramen image. And interesting entries.
from stepfordtart :
I just wrote a massive entry that Im dissatisfied with, but I posted it anyway because I have lost my mojo. I blame chemo. That, or Ive just become terminally dull : ) s x
from stepfordtart :
There are few greater 'pleasant little surprises' than getting a handwritten thank you note. We're quite big on them in our family and theyre always lovely to receive. Huzzah for you! s x
from idontpretend :
mwuahahahaha. well, let me know if you give it a shot. my guild does have a sith branch that we play on every friday, plus whenever peeps feel like sithing it up for a change. x]
from catsoul :
Do you knit or crochet? You could do that while taking a break on campus. =^..^=
from idontpretend :
Lol, thanks. I'll take that as a compliment. I've thought about getting back into WoW, but I don't have the time AND money for that and SWTOR. If you ever come over though, lemme know and I'll extend you an invite. xD Hahaha, you make it sound like a gateway drug. Yeah, I was actually thinking about talking to my teacher and explaining the situation. I'm not going to try to force anyone's hand, I just want him to be aware that I do not agree with how the experiment is being handled and that she pretty much hijacked the entire thing and is doing a piss-poor job imo. Seriously, the tank she set up looked unbelievably pathetic next to the first one we set up as an actual group. And she wanted to screw with the first one too. That was the first thing we butted heads about. Gawd, why do people have to be so stupid.
from nessus :
Singing doesn't cost any money. You can still make music, in fact the vast, vast, VAST majority of musicians never make any money off of their music. We're tricked into believing that the idiots on TV and the radio somehow represent artists when maybe 1% of musicians actually earn an income at it.
from stepfordtart :
A game of 'spin the pigeon' that went badly wrong? s x
from stepfordtart :
Lemme hear ya say BOO YAH! s x
from nessus :
I think I'd rather a sword cane: http://www.swordcane.com/
from stepfordtart :
Super Yay to youuuuuuuuu! s x
from idontpretend :
Thanks for the comment. I haven't given up on love. I've just given up trying to find it. If it finds me, then it finds me. If not, then I have a life to live.
from nessus :
I didn't even know they were different (movie colours vs. book colours)!
from idontpretend :
Thank you. =] And it's quite true..
from stepfordtart :
May you occasionally feel like that ALL through your life! s x
from stepfordtart :
Wow! What does a Microbiology Society do? When you have cocktail parties (which you undoubtedly do!) are the canapes REALLY REEEEEEEEAAALLY small? s x
from idontpretend :
Hahahahaha *big ol' squishy hug back* x]
from cellini :
Hey, I thought I should tell you that I had to lock my diary suddenly this afternoon. I got an email to my real-name address from a reporter asking about stuff from my diary. I can create a password for you to use but DL requires that I enter an email address for them to send it to. If you send that to flexibleflyer8@gmail.com then I will send you a password.
from idontpretend :
Thank you. Me too, because as much as I want it to work, she keeps pushing me past my breaking point. It's only a matter of time before it goes beyond our ability to fix things.
from idontpretend :
Lol, at least you can admit it. Helps make me feel like I'm not just losing my mind.
from catsoul :
4 years of endless lust....dreams of foreverness. Congratulations on your relationship & educationally opportunities coming along. Have a Merry Christmas. =^..^=
from stepfordtart :
*doing AWESOME dance in your honour* s x PS Merry Christmas!
from ping-island :
huh, that's a good idea. i just wish it wasn't possible to see anything i wrote, say, before 2011. i bet i could work something out though. thanks for the tip!
from frogeye :
Shit happens! Don't look back. Focus on tomorrow and the next exam. Pull yourself out of this cavern and vision the good grades that you deserve. I, myself, slept thru an exam after pulling an all nighter. Talked myself out of and F and was able to take the test after all. Didn't do well, but I passed the course. Bottom line, don't give up!
from stepfordtart :
Go see your tutor or whoever handles pastoral care where you are. Have a good cry. And a whiny moan. They are used to it and wont judge you....but they might be able to help. *uses transatlantic psychic cyber-mum powers to hug college-kid* s x
from frogeye :
Congrats on the "A"! Can we post it on the fridge?
from stepfordtart :
WootWOOOOOOTTT! Well done, you! s x
from julymalaise :
Thanks so much!!!!
from catsoul :
hi, it takes guts to admit that you drank 151 proof grain alcohol alot & that you know like most poisonous stuff we ingest, it probably kills alot of our brain cells. I did stupid ingestion stuff too, and I am still smart. So moving along and all, my thought is, you are just brain tired after 5 years of studying. Maybe you need a break to just get out there and work. Now I am changing the subject, it is so cold here, that when my doggies and I walked today, we had tears streaming down our checks. Do dogs have cheeks, they must. I had to wipe everyone's eyes. We walked very fast to say the least. Take care & drink diet pepsi!! Did you snort here, I just did. =^..^=
from catsoul :
I don't think you believe everything you read to be true on Facebook. I take everything with a grain of salt. You know you are on the right track about life and the future when you ask yourself those questions you wrote about. Isn't that what life is all about, the not knowing and the wonder? Have a great week, and you know a D isn't failing, it is the new average! Did you hear me snort here? I did. Have a great week, and don't sweat the small stuff. Take care. =^..^=
from julymalaise :
Thanks for the fabulous advice, mi amiga. Yeah, right now, I'm not looking for a relationship, but you are right I have see myself pictured with someone I would want to marry. But this kid is not the ideal boy for me. Besides, he has these anger issues and boy, I have a lot of explaining to do about him because I found out something about him that will rock your world. Thanks, girl!!! ((hugs)) Love ya!
from catsoul :
Kudos to you on your well earned exam score!! I remember to long late drives, oh to be young again. I don't think that I could do that. You will be glad you went home for Thanksgiving in the many years to come. Cherish. Drive safe. Take care. =^..^=
from julymalaise :
Hope you're okay down there in Texas. I heard there was a lot of storms the past few weeks. Be careful and have a safe trip to Oklahoma!
from julymalaise :
Awww, thanks for the encouraging words, sweetie!! It makes me feel a whole better. Luv ya! And I'm so happy that I applied to colleges!
from julymalaise :
That sounds like a wonderful topic. I would be oblige to write the same topic as well. It is quite appealing and interesting. That's good you are getting paid. I understand how you feel... when you haven't written an essay for the longest time and get assigned one, it is hard to get back on track. However, it seems like you did well! good luck!
from julymalaise :
Writing an essay can be stressful. Especially when it something that you are not interesting in... but that is good you getting paid!!! Wish I was getting paid for writing an essay. Got some swag, girrrrl!
from evilyoyo :
haha, at least it's not a corolla. you're good in my book ;)
from stepfordtart :
Oh dear. Hope thats all worked itself out as it should have. s x
from julymalaise :
Thanks girl, I love you!! =) And I feel bettter!!
from idontpretend :
Anything's possible. ;D
from stepfordtart :
OMFGG! How can you possibly be mediocre? You study subjects beyond the ken of even the most intelligent people (ie me!) and you have an astonishing amount of life yet to live in which you can do whatsoever you desire. Yes, you're dealing with some heavy shit at the mo but look what youve achieved! You are amazing and I have no doubt that you will continue to be so. s x
from julymalaise :
Thanks for the kind words, my good friend. I do hope I will get an acceptance letter soon!! And I'm sorry to hear about Irish and the bed bug situation. This is why I am cautious in staying in hotels because of all of those bedbug scares a while ago. I hope everything is well and do keep us updated about this....
from idontpretend :
Gahahaha, you caught me at a good time. Just happened to look at my email and got the notification. I looooooooooove genetics. I'd love to do grad school and get into the research side of it. So my thing. Here's hoping anyway. I hope you land the career you want. =D
from idontpretend :
Turn that frown upside down!! And zomg, I'm going for a BA in Biology too. Hopefully I can get into human genetics. What do you want to go into? =o
from lostasyou :
HAHA! Yeah I'm waiting for her to pipe up and give me some good advice too! (hi if you see this muahaha).. and yeah. I guess so. It's all very raw and new for these people though so I would not be surprised if they get back together, none of my business though. I just want a friend, yknow? I suppose it just looks odd because we've never hung out alone before. But I'm not going to decline, I have been waiting for someone to get me out of this room for ages! I'm sure we'll all find out what happens soon enough :) cheers for the encouragement xx
from julymalaise :
AHHHH! I LOVE THE PUMPKINS!!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEEEN!!!!
from frogeye :
Great pumpkin! Some of a bitch! That is wonderful work!
from stepfordtart :
You missed off some classes! Here: stick these into your schedule, too - Eating & Sleeping 101, Partying (part-time class only) and Advanced All-Work-And-No-Play Avoidance (for beginners). Enjoy! s x
from frogeye :
Study, study, study! That's your job right now. You seem to be able to handle the stress. Keep up the good work. Can we put your report cards on the fridge for all to see and admire?
from julymalaise :
Moleskines are indeed a nice place to write things and graph paper is hard for me to write on!! Because all I would thinking about is that it is not lined and I need lined paper to write down my thoughts, otherwise it would mess me up completely. Ha. I don't know why, but I'm pretty weird like that!
from julymalaise :
Yay for Pumpkins!! Can't wait for the picsss!
from stepfordtart :
I will be carving slightly less impressive pumpkins (crappy 'scary' face only), but I WILL be making impressive pumpkin pies the day after the carving takes place! Yum. I love pumpkin pie but you cant get pumpkins year-round here and nobody sells in in a can (as Im given to believe it can be purchased stateside). Thanks for the comps on the cake but really Jooj did most of it....MY cakes are neater by far! s x
from stepfordtart :
Send apologetic emails and ask for any notes etc that might help you catch up before the next class. As a teacher, Im always impressed by a student who does that - even if I have no notes to give them! s x
from catsoul :
I am so stoked for you also!! Congratulations!! It is always great to have a plan!! You have a great week, and do something kind & fun for yourself, you deserve it. Take care. =^..^=
from frogeye :
We used to have drive-ins here on Long Island. I remember them so well. But as time progressed and legal issues increased, all have been erassed. I like the oldtimes!
from frogeye :
Love the energy of your entry!
from stepfordtart :
I think it also needs to contain an inordinate number of old fashionedy American Police Cars (Dodge Diplomat?) getting completely trashed in ever more ridiculous ways too. Im pretty sure (in fact, Im certain, thanks to google!) that they arent used as police cars these days but a dozen or so of those big ole black and white slabs o' cheese getting crumpled up always puts a smile on my face - especially if the siren noise kind of 'dies', too, in that forlorn "WOOOOOooooo oo oo.....oo" way! s x
from stepfordtart :
I know we're a bit further down the educational ladder, but Jooj is doing some big ole school debates at the mo, too. You kind of think, whatever you choose, years down the line you'll find out everyone else (ie all the cool kids!) did something else and youll look like a twerp. I feel your pain...in a kind of vicarious cyber mum kind of way! s x
from lostasyou :
Well thank you very much :) x
from stepfordtart :
Public swimming baths? Quick swim and nice long shower for around 3 over here. And, do they have a welfare office at your school? If they do, go see someone, explain that your situation in TEMPORARY and ask if they can help out at all (maybe defer your tuition for a few weeks?). Dont carry this stuff around with you, dear. Tell as many people as you think might be able to help you. ((hug)). s x PS If I had it, Id write the cheque : )
from lostasyou :
Haha! Maybe I'll just be a cat forever ;) they're sly and get what they want, hmm.. But yes, tone down the drinking. I am slowly but surely working on it. It's tough, but I think if I get out of that mess I will feel better.. Ex has gone, that's one less stressful situation to go mental about. Drink next! Hurraaah x
from stepfordtart :
Squeeee! That should take the pressure off a bit, shouldnt it? Huzzah for Irish! s x
from ghostofgor :
They asked if i knew how i contracted it but even the docs said it can enter through the gums...a zit...papercut,etc. I still have no clue.
from nessus :
Is it the authentic pub aspect you're surprised about (the wood, the decor, the taphouse feel)? Cause we have several bars on campus here..
from stepfordtart :
But not forever, tho! Soon it will all be done and you will be able to sit back, have a few scoops and relaaaaaaaax! s x
from stepfordtart :
Bio, microbio AND mycology and you're worrying about dropping Chem? I think we can let you have that one without making you wear the 'I am a slacker' hat, dear. You're a long time dead - be happy in your work. Work/life balance is a tricky one to achieve - it lays a big fat guilt trip on you whatever you choose to do. Once youve dropped Chem, take a deep breath and ask yourself 'can I breathe a bit easier now?'. If the answer is yes (and Im pretty sure it will be)then you made the right choice. s x
from nessus :
D'Addario. It's an extremely cheap violin. I think it cost something like $200. Bought it years ago and snapped 3 of the strings in the first month trying to tune it. Yeah, I spent a couple hours yesterday watching instructional videos on how to do vibrato, I'm still clueless as to how I'm supposed to do that.
from catsoul :
Pulls up a chair next to college-kid and listens, and then sends a roomfull of happy thoughts. It is alright to feel alone at times, the tough part is learning to know that you aren't. Take care. =^..^=
from stepfordtart :
*slides sheet of paper with smiley face drawn on it under the door*. s x
from frogeye :
So sorry to read that you are under the weather. Besides copious amount of alcohol, only pills will releive the cause. Hope you feel better soon!
from lostasyou :
That's a good quote :)
from frogeye :
Louisiana born and NY bred. Guess the Cajun is in me. Im searching for the perfect hot. Not burning, but extreme hot to eat without discomfort. Habs are good. Want to try Scotch Bonnett. Usual mixture is habs and cayeene, real and powger. Always add crushed red peppers into the mix. Right now now lips are burning as I stirred up a mix. Will have some later on a roll with a dog.
from frogeye :
Shot and a beer, love it. Face the situaton and drive it home!
from nessus :
Certainly. There will be Soundcloud links and such at the appropriate time.
from breathe-salt :
oh thank you so much! that really made me smile.
from lostasyou :
Ha yeah me and her are the type of people that just try to go around fixing everything that's broken. I want to kill him for the things he's said and done, and it's only going to get worse. You hear about it all the time. They think it's going to be okay but it won't be. It's her 22nd birthday today and I don't know where she is :(
from stepfordtart :
Oooooh, Blogger's Block! I think we all know that one. It sucks. Hopefully it will be shortlived and youll find something will unblock you v soon. s x
from catsoul :
hey, don't stop writing...I enjoy reading whatever you have to write about. We need to write about our lives, it helps us to feel better and such. Take care. =^..^=
from frogeye :
The music behind the lyrics is a classical piece. I don't have the correct info right now. But every once in a while they play it on the station I listen to at work.
from lostasyou :
I hate it because I had fun!!! Such fun, but now I am being made to feel so bad. Ex has told me all this stuff that I shouldn't have listened to and he's successfully made me want to shamefully crawl back to him. And by being easy and stupid, he's jealous and wants to crawl back to me. This is the way it will always be.. We are no good together for no longer than a certain amount of time, but.. argh. I don't want him to be with anyone and he hates me being with someone. It's so annoying. I just have to do something about it and try to get out the other end, fast. Without him.
from lostasyou :
He said he still has feelings for me, "obviously he does". But he never gives me that impression. If someone tells you to get the fuck out of their life and never come back, do what you want.. You'd eventually take the hint, right? I don't know what to do, I really don't. There's no point in trying to get back in his good book because we've tried to fix the relationship so much and it doesn't work. But I am scared. He's made me feel so disgusting and low and I don't want to be that sort of person. Ugh.
from lostasyou :
Hah! Well maybe.. yeah I guess it's okay. It took my mind off of other matters at least, I don't feel so crap now in some twisted sense. It looks like I can go out and have fun without him after all, aye? Thanks. And I agree, write about the boring stuff, it's probably not that bad! x
from stepfordtart :
Write about the boring stuff, then! We'll still be entertained! s x
from lostasyou :
;-) I thought I'd better write something to warn everyone! Haha bless you, all is okay now x
from stepfordtart :
Oooh! Thanks! I have cup measures as my friends in SC sent me a cookbook and it was starting to get on my nerves that I had to convert everything! Now just give me a hint on how to measure a 'cupful' of butter? Do I need to soften it first or chop it into lumps and squish it into the cup? Its a damn stupid measurement device for stuff thats relatively intractable! s x
from frogeye :
Yeah, I hope I like it. I know it will take time, so I going in with an open mind.
from jimbostaxi :
How about Iron Man by Black Sabbath? that always pumped me up. :o)
from idontpretend :
=]]]]
from idontpretend :
Sooorrryyyyy
from idontpretend :
Lol, trust me, you wouldn't believe me. I'm not sure it's safe for me to tell anyway.
from frogeye :
Anthing by George Thorogood!
from stepfordtart :
I have to sing REALLY LOUD if I want to be truly fired up, so I would go for something like "Dont Stop Me Now" by Queen. That any good for you? s x
from yourtipsucks :
thanks for the fav and comment!
from catsoul :
thanks for the Sadie note. I plan to post some photos of her also, but Photobucket is being naughty this morning so I gave up. As far as music taste goes, I think anything goes, and for being electic about music, I know I am. I pretty much like it all, from piano to new age. I think it is great to be electic about what you like, then you can enjoy all sorts of music. I also feel that who gives a rat's ass about what others think about you. Just like who you are and be happy and healthy. Take care. =^..^=
from idontpretend :
Tyvm. =] I've always felt that way about the internet too, the major downside being the fact that most people you meet are pretty far away. I'm hoping this one could actually work out.
from stepfordtart :
Holy shit! Is ebay no good for this type of thing? I would want some SERIOUSLY dirty pictures in a book that cost $150! s x
from sadistiksoul :
for real. the local racketeering is even worse. I compared Amazon to local bookstores and even the most expensive books were no less than 60% off. Lucky your Spaniard abuela likes to spoil you.
from stepfordtart :
Scary grandmas MUST be obeyed. You pretty much HAD to let her buy that stuff (which, lets face it, she wouldnt've if she didnt want to). Your conscience shall remain without stain, dear. s x PS I, too, blag condiments from takeout places. I keep them in the glove box in my car for moments of naked-fries-ness.
from stepfordtart :
Yep. Thats pretty much 'heroism' defined for me, ta very much. Not too bothered about whatever else they might occupy their time with. Heroes is heroes is heroes, aint they? Thanks for posting that, Id never heard of them either. s x
from stepfordtart :
Almost nobody has a job they love. My husband does (he's a musician) but even then, he has to do hideous production jobs for clients which cause him to tear his hair out. Ive done stuff that I absolutely loathed because it put a roof over my kids' heads and food on the table. I hope you two manage to find solutions that suit you both. Thinking of you. s x
from lostasyou :
I thought as much.
from stepfordtart :
Im assuming he's an adult and has free will? If this is so and he hasnt left you yet, then its because he doesnt want to. Ergo, you must be worth it. So there. s x
from lostasyou :
Pretty hair ^_^ I used to have you added on here on another account - omfggwtf? I moved so I'm going to add ya back ;]
from stepfordtart :
Eeek! Thats horrific - no wonder students are always pleading poverty! Could you not contact the other website girl and share the work out between you - sounds like youve both got your areas of expertise and half the work's got to be better than all of it, hasnt it? s x
from nessus :
Pretty much how I feel. He is clearly obsessed; his continual use of the phrase "cultural Marxist", his fixation on homosexuality and feminism. But it's hard, because like all good propaganda he mixes it in with the truth. And like a lot of people on the far right, he tries to make it seem just like common sense, appealing to that romanticized image of the 1950s. Certainly it's undeniable that PC language can be used as a means of suppressing unpopular thought. But as you point out, that's not the same as censorship. So what if university campuses have a left leaning bias? The local university here still has a pro life club, a conservative club, etc. You also have a really good point about only unhinged individuals acting on his recommendations.
from nessus :
Would love to know what you think when you're done reading :) Keeping in mind that's only the second draft and I still need to get other people to go over it and iron it out.
from stepfordtart :
Oooh, gorgeous! I kind of feel obliged to post mine now, but even if Im making a kissy face I still just look like a mad old lady! s x
from stepfordtart :
I just grew out my white blonde 'Billy Idol's Mum' hairdo that Ive had for ten years. Now I have the same do but my natural colour - which Im sad to say is now salt-and-pepper grey. I am officially old. s x
from nessus :
Most of the best ones are graphic novels, unfortunately. If it ever falls within your budget: V For Vendetta, The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Superman: Red Son, Hellboy: Seed Of Destruction, Fray.
from stepfordtart :
School starting? Summer ending? Huh? My school just finished, like, an hour ago and you're already thinking about being back there? Im sitting on my sofa relishing the SIX WHOLE WEEKS Ive got off work, and wondering if its going to EVER be sunny here! s x PS I learned Suzuki Method violin when I was very very little. I can still play a little bit, but Im kind of hopeless. I stick to singing, these days!
from stepfordtart :
Season really well, otherwise tofu has a tendency to taste of..........umm...........nothing! Otherwise, its pretty user-friendly - you should be fine. Happy munching! s x
from stepfordtart :
No. 1 daughter is watching it as I type! She couldnt go to the midnight show yesterday as it was over 18 only and she's been in school all day today (complete with Dark Mark fake tattoo!) but she's BEYOND excited and had me drop her at the cinema with her boyfriend a full hour before the showing started! s x
from catsoul :
7/5/11.....hi again. Glad to see you writing more. I bet my life is way more incredibly boring than yours! Do you take a daily nap? If you don't get your nap in, are you cranky? I am. I don't know if you read what I write, but sometimes I so bore myself with what I write. Take care. =^..^=
from stepfordtart :
Hey! Thanks for the link - have read some of it but too hungover to deal with it properly! Will let my daughter have a look, too - she's the fanfic guru - she writes them herself and Brit-pics other peoples over on tumblr. If you lock up it wouldnt necessarily stop someone from stealing your stuff, but I can see it would deffo make it less likely. Looking forward to reading some more. s x
from stepfordtart :
HP fan fic = gooooooood! upload and link immediately! Accio Story! s x
from stepfordtart :
Thats my speaking style, too! I cant decide whether thats a good thing or a bad thing! s x
from stepfordtart :
Hey! Thanks for adding me! I shall, naturally, reciprocate. s x
from idontpretend :
haha, if i'm not in class i'm usually at home anyway. but i have been trying to spend a little time not thinking about studying and playing xbox or on my computer. being away from my ex-roommate and on my own again is helping. everyday it gets a little better. actually played some FFXIII for a few hours tonight. it was nice. xD
from jimbostaxi :
I feel your pain, people people suck!! Great diary :0)
from idontpretend :
hehehe, i looooove genetics. i'm really hoping to do something with it when i'm finally done with school. microbio always sounded like it'd be interesting. i think i'm supposed to take it sooner or later. gen chem is fun, but the carbon stuff was fun too. gen chem is kinda kicking my butt though because the class is moving so fast and i've been so slammed with everything outside of class. i'm hoping i can still finish strong though. can't wait to get it over with though. hehe.
from notunique :
hey thanks!
from idontpretend :
hehe, that's true. i'm still hoping by some miracle i can still get into writing after i get my degree. if not, i'd still enjoy working in a lab, hopefully dealing with genetics. yeeaa, i'm jealous. i wish i WAS getting an associates out of this so i could put down an actual college degree. sigh, oh wells, i'll just have to wait until i get my bachelor's. xD ugh, if you can handle summer classes go for it! i'm so done with them though if i can help it. it's way too stressful for me. i'd rather just work for the summer and save some money for the next school year. xD i think i'll actually like organic chem. that's all about carbons right? i actually had fun with that chapter in my last chem class. weeee.
from idontpretend :
awww, yeah, you'd think after centuries and centuries, if not millenia, they'd have found a way to simplify picking a major and getting the job you want, haha. i actually would've liked to have gotten the associates, just so i'd have a piece of paper in my hand and could say 'i have a degree bishes!', then move on with the bach. oh wells, i dont think i've talked to anyone yet who's college career went as planned, lol. it's rough when you don't have the resources you need to do what you *really* want. i'll just be happy to be in the general field i decided on. i'm taking gen chem I this summer, which wouldnt be so bad i think if i it didnt feel like the course was crammed into an educational sardine can. i wont be doing it again if i can help it. >.< english sounds cool, i actually want to be a writer. too bad you couldn't do anything with it that you wanted to do. at least you have an associates to show for your hard work!!
from idontpretend :
haha, it just never ends does it? there's always some hurdle popping up that you have to jump over, dive under, or slip around. i just wasn't expecting that one. i was getting ready to ditch the Associates anyway, so it could've been worse, hehe. you're goin for bio too? what were you originally going for? i've had all kinds of interests, so it was really tough narrowing it down. and nooooooo, summer classes suuuuuuck. i'm so ridiculously busy and i'm only taking 1 class. granted it's a 5 credit class with a lab, but that's practically full time for the summer. i'd muuuuch rather have my summer off. xD
from famoustn :
I just came across your diary and I just wanted to say I'm loving it so far! :)
from julymalaise :
Well, I'm like in the beginning of my novel, so like I'm trying to work out the plot. Yeah, I'll definetely send you a message whenever I feel like Roleplaying and thanks for the offer!
from julymalaise :
Roleplay sounds fun!!! I think I'll try that one day, but right now, I'm currently working on a novel. So when I finished, I'll try my hand at this roleplaying stuff, it's so cool!
from outer-jessie :
Thank you for your note! That is definitely a consideration I had not made. Unfortunately I haven't been able to track down any further information, and the person's name is ridiculously common so that doesn't help either. At this point, we're inclined to let it go, since ultimately it shouldn't affect affect us...but we'll see how much they feel like playing hardball when we're talking actual money.
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note :0)
from frogeye :
Welcome back. I never did follow your other diary, but am glad to see you moving forward in life. Failure is not an option, so get that out of your head. Success is key! Shoot for it.
from blazingstar :
Hey! You're back! I only have your newer diary on my buddy list because I didn't think you'd ever update this one, but luckily I saw your entry in the "recent entries" box! Hope you stick around. :-) I know it's scary to try for new goals, and the thought of rejection is tough, but if you don't apply you'll never get in! So go for it!
from frogeye :
Thanks for the glove idea. Knowing myself I would not be able to keep the damn things on all night. Hands take beating during the dry, winter months. I just keep adding lotion as often as I can. Good to hear from you!
from frogeye :
Long time no hear. Yeah, the eagle has landed! Old Hawkeye was set free close to home and I was told he is going to be fine. I get many birds smashing into the windows and have moved the feeder away from the house. I just love to see the birds enjoy a meal in the harsh weather right now. Happy New Year to you and yours!
from catsoul :
Hey, Happy 2010 to you, and I didn't know that you could play the guitar, I am learning how to play the guitar myself. So do you play FarmVille? I do, and I really enjoy it. =^..^=
from hated-dancer :
i was looking over the notes that you sent me in the past, and it kind of made me think, "what am i doing with my life!?", i will try harder.
from catsoul :
Hey I so know that stir crazy feeling...it does go away and then one appreciates all the other things even more. You can make it through. Take care. =^..^=
from julymalaise :
The Bell Jar is simply wonderful... I am reading it too and I just love it! And by the way, I added you!!!!
from catsoul :
Hey you aren't stuck...you are smart and getting ahead of the game. Keep at it. Take care. =^..^=
from julymalaise :
Wow, cool diary. I love it. May I add, please?
from catsoul :
I sooooooo wish that I could help you...but I can't because I am financing my son. You do work so hard, and you should be sooooooooo proud of yourself. You will someday look back on those years as a great accomplishment that you achieved. Hang in there, I am soooooo proud of you. I would love to send you care packages, but I don't know your name or address. If you want to, send me the info at: ambereyesforyou@yahoo.com Take care. =^..^=
from catsoul :
Yeah for that hard earned C!! I so remember an anatomy class I took in college, that I was so happy to have earned a C in myself. Kudos to you!!! Now you can relax. Take care. =^..^=
from urbancadence :
Thanks, you! *Sigh* This totally sucks :'-(
from frogeye :
Congrats on your Texan's win! We always seem to have a problem with the Lone Star State.
from catsoul :
Just be glad you had savings to pay for your summer session. Now you just have to save again full force. I do that off and on. As for your dad making a personal comment and how you feel. My dad and mom still send verbal arrows at me and I just reflect them off my invisible shield that I have for people who say and/or do hurtful things. I am 53 years old and the last time we met my parents, my mom had to get a zing in or two. I swear our parents will always see us as being young and not having matured. I laugh about this, but I don't think my mom and dad truly know me. So with this said, hey you can't change them, but have a laugh about it and skip away. :) Take care and have some fun!! =^..^=
from hated-dancer :
thank-you. Alot. Oh, and sorry for thinking you were a guy (and trust me I know how that feels). But the truth is I wished for pemanence, for unchanging feelings, for bonds. And if changing is a part of life, how cruel. How cruel that kindness is. And it's scary. People, feelings, they can't be tied up, and i'm sure you have found that out. I know it's such an awful thought. It's sad and painful. And lonely, isn't it? I don't want a world like this! I don't want to be left behind! I'm scared. I hate this. No one needs me. This world is filled...with strangers! And I hate it. I can't live in a world like this now. Living with them? With strangers? With no "promise" no "bond" no "eternity"?i'm...scared. I'm scared! I have no guarantee...that anyone will love me. I can't live like that. Surrounded by strangers. I can't! I'm afraid of the world.
from hated-dancer :
thankyou for your input it helped me think, but I have a question for you. Because I am younger do you look down on me and my ways?
from catsoul :
I used to tell myself that I have only one chance with finals, and then I usually talk myself into studying harder. Good luck...but I am sure you will do well and pass. Take care. =^..^=
from frogeye :
The recipie just sounded like a Bobby Flay design. Hope it came out as good as it should have.
from urbancadence :
Aw, sweet! When's graduation day? By the way, CONGRATS you're done!!! ;-) Are you thinking of applying to graduate or professional school?
from urbancadence :
Aw, thank you!!! Yes, I am overjoyed, and I'll just have to take the huge bill in stride. She's a little fighter!! Thanks again!! Didja get your graduation dress yet? :)
from darthuae :
i hope you chose tetris (=better dreams).
from darthuae :
i read those words and thought, "yeah, i know what he's talking about." - but doesn't it take a little heart away from you? i felt so desolate afterwards.
from catsoul :
Do you knit, or ever thought of learning how to knit. You can watch TV & knit at the same time. =^..^=
from ohmegah :
I don't know how you manage to live at home and do college homework at the same time. I couldn't do it, everybody is always asking for a favor, or mom wants "to just talk"...and having to share a room, oh no!
from ohmegah :
Whoever said "mother knows best" never had a mother or probably had sex with their mother on a daily basis.
from catsoul :
Your mother sounds like she is extremely unhappy with herself and her life. She is also projecting it on towards you and the family. It is easier to say, "I will move out, then to actually do that and afford to." I hear you and I wish you the best. It is tough and it is alright to have your own pity party, but then start coming up with some ideas to make your life, your life. Take care. =^..^=
from darthuae :
i'm sorry you're dealing with this. it's an impossible situation - you can never make everyone happy in the end. can you move out?
from dirtyboots :
Yeah, man, yeah, I've heard Cranium is good. Have you played Absolute Balderdash? That's awesome. Still not sure about the farming game I mentioned. This is so hard. Enjoy the bowling!
from urbancadence :
You got your friend's dog impounded!??!??
from urbancadence :
Aww, I'm sorry :( I HATE it when multiple exams fall on the same day. Arghhhh... hopefully this one exam won't affect your overall grade too much?
from frogeye :
And this green pastoral landscape, were to me More dear, both for themselves and for thy sake! Ain't poetry grand!
from frogeye :
Thanks for the pat on the back. Yes, isn't it nice that there are still people willing to help others without a need for compensation. That poor girl look so needy and frustrated. How could you not give assistance!
from frogeye :
Take care of that cold. I know what it's like to be down. I hope Irish makes out OK with his court date. An insanity plea is what I would use. They would never be able to disprove that! How bad could "One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest" be?
from frogeye :
I do hope you are feeling better. Yes, I can remember those college days and the freedom that came with them. Unfortunately, came the responsibilities which I sometimes tried to duck. Don't you hate growing up! Whay can't we just be given a built in meter like those on a turkey for Thanksgiving that kick in when they are neeed?
from urbancadence :
Awwww thanks!!! I never realized how much I missed everyone until I finally updated!! :-)
from frogeye :
I know what you mean about starting anew. I tried it and came back as myself, as I was just comfortable with me. Don't change your entries, isn't this venue all about ourselves and our views on life?
from catsoul :
You could start a tradition of writing a heartfelt poem to him for Valentine's Day. Just an idea. =^..^=
from girl2go :
Your diary is so open and honest and you write so well. I much admire it. I'm writing about me by means of fiction on here--short stories--but even though it's called fiction, I'm so hoping no one I know ever sees it and recognizes me. I guess I'm chicken. You make me feel like I now have a stake in your life. Thanks.
from frothqueen :
Are you 19? I don't know if I read that right. If I did, wow. You could literally go back and find entries that are the EXACT copies of the your latest (from when I was 19). That's when I realized it was time to move out. Unfortunately that didn't happen for another four years...
from frogeye :
Ah, Mother Earth at her finast! What college memories are now surfacing. I too indulged myself in to the 'smoking' world for a bit. Laughter is all I remember. Luckily, upon graduation, the fun ceased and I entered into the real world. But fun it was.......
from frogeye :
I hope you like the bike. I do,at least, a half hour every night at the gym and more on the weekends. It takes time, but before long you will see the good results. Take your diet in steps. Eat slow, have more water, and slightly smaller portions and you'll be happy. Stay away from the junk burgers and fries. They are killers. Good luck!
from ohmegah :
Well I guess luck is on my side after all! I got back into school, how? I don't know, but I got out of my parents house and I get to continue with this evil we call college. By the way, school IS very stressful, even when we're not in school but we'll make it through just like we did the semester prior. Take care .
from catsoul :
Hey don't stress too much about the upcoming semester. You will get through it and do just fine. I remember being like that when I had to go back to Stout University in Menomonie, WI. Now when I think back to that time, I am glad that is really all that I had to stress about. Take care. =^..^=
from ohmegah :
I encountered an arrogant prick too and guess what he failed me. Yeah my gpa whent down 4 points! so much for an A, I guess a B can be ok for now. I'm taking the semester off, pay off what I owe and next year transfer out of state cuz so much shit has happened here and I just can't stand my family anymore. I wish best of luck to you at school and don't burn yourself out.
from ohmegah :
Every single semester I go through this thing where I'm not sure if I'll be allowed back in cuz my dad doesn't understand the concept that school costs money. So I'm not sure if I'll return this semester but next for sure. School sucks, I hate college, but I guess it's just my path. Hows school for you? Still eating thos ramen noodles? haha
from ohmegah :
I never show anybody my site and I finally did and then that person completely betrayed my trust like you wouldn't believe. I locked it so I could get my anger out, but now that both anger and her are out of my life, I'll unlock it; besides, I started a new story.
from ohmegah :
user name:adam password:kadmon
from frogeye :
Monty rocks! Try here for some favorites: http://seehere.blogspot.com/2004/10/monty-python-videos-and-stuff.html
from catsoul :
Happy New Year to you and your family! I don't think you are being selfish at all, wanting to be with your family. Too bad he didn't want to, and shame on him for making you feel guilty about wanting to. He has to stop controlling you. Anyhoo, take care. I had to put my two cents in. =^..^=
from catsoul :
Hi, you need to have a build up to intimacy. Touching, hand holding, cuddling, long kisses throughout the day build up the wanting to be passionate with the person you care about. Breathing in his scent when he is near. Yes, a woman needs foreplay, relate it to climbing up a steep hill, reaching for the top, and jumping off. You should communicate with him what you need, if he cares enough to pleasure you, he will take the time. Take care. =^..^=
from frogeye :
Thank you for your kind words.
from sun-dials :
Please do a photo blog (as well as everyday entries.) I love 'em:)
from frogeye :
Yakisoba is a Japanese noodle dish that is being shown in commercials on TV. Goes along with your Ramon theme.
from frogeye :
When are you going to add 'Yakisoba' to your page? And a pox on that professor and all of his decendents!
from for-you-only :
username: read password: me
from frogeye :
Don't give up on yourself! Your strong personality has so many may uplifting attitudes. Don't let minor setbacks affect you so much. My personal quote is " F-em all!". Perhaps you can add this to yours! Keep 'me flying!
from darthuae :
i've always had teachers bash the things i write claiming they were not technical enough or that the tone offered an overly pretentious style. and every time it just gets to the point where i let them know that they're giant idiots who're trying to crush my soul by forcing me to write inane little passionless papers. needless to say, i never won an argument. i'm not sure what i'm attempting to tell you here but it's a known fact that teachers are hardly ever right. and if you think you made letters convey what was best suited in your heart then you've made no error. (1:24 am--if this makes no sense)
from catsoul :
That would be so adult of you to help your parents to let you go. Small steps are a good idea, that all at once step is really very hard for us to handle. My son one day was here at age 18 and when I came home from work, he had left, and I didn't know where he went to. So I like your idea of small steps. They do trust you, now you have to show them you trust yourself and stay true to your values and how you respect yourself. So enjoy your meeting with Irish's parents, and don't feel guilty about doing this. Call your mom and dad often, that will help them. Take care. =^..^=
from illusionless :
Hiding depression and other mental illnesses is a common thing. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do. I hope Supergirl is ok and she can recieve help.
from urbancadence :
I know :( And it's not like they would lose ANYTHING at all if Prop 8 didn't pass. It reminds me of two little girls at a pretend-tea party, with one girl saying to the other, "You can't come to my tea party because I don't like you". So sad :(
from darthuae :
thank you for your note. so glad all that political chaos is over. let the world have its fun now, mindlessly.
from sun-dials :
Oh my god, I cannot agree with you more! Your entry basically sums up my whole thought process on this whole election/electoral votes. Thank you... I thought I was going crazy.
from ohmegah :
Going through the same myself. Heart broken, money shorten, and my grades are falling all the way down. College life seems impossible, but stay focused, take one day to sleep, regroup and take the bull by the horns. It's your world, and you make it good. Stay strong.
from blazingstar :
Hey, I'm sorry things aren't going well. I always feel weird leaving notes on D-land because it's not private, but if you ever need someone to vent to, feel free to email me (noworries121@yahoo.com). Hope you're doing okay today - you deserve some stress-free time!
from frogeye :
Just step back and relax. You'll come thru this with flying colors. Prioritize your work, take some time for yourself and then move forward. My college days were tough also and I had times like you're having now. Reach out for all the help you can get. I smell good grades coming around.
from urbancadence :
Hang in there... it's normal to feel like this from time to time, but once you pull through (and you will) and take a breather, you'll come back all recharged and refreshed :-) Trust me - I've been through it all (and am still going through it!) Take a deeeeep breath! :D
from urbancadence :
I hate history. It used to be my absolute worst subject too :-( I'm sorry about that score... hopefully there's something you can do to bring your grade up before the end of the semester?
from frogeye :
Sorry to read about your history score. That was my worst subject in school, but now I am engrossed into learning more and more about history. I can't seem to get enough. Luck on your papers!
from catsoul :
So you would like a "goodie" box. Sure. e-mail at: ambereyesforyou@yahoo.com I need to know where to send it. :) =^..^=
from catsoul :
hi again, I just had to write to you, giggles. I admit I to prefer it when everyone is happy and everything is going smoothly, and the world, especially my world is all rosy and aglow. Then I woke up to reality and life. In the past few years I have worked through being an enabler. You know, that person who wants everyone and everything to be just so, because it is a reflection on me. Well I am so glad that things are going smoothly for you, though you know it gets really hard after years and years of making everyone happy and everything go smoothly. It is actually freeing to your soul when you finally wake up and realize that you can't be the end all for everyone. So with that said, people make choices, sometimes not the best choices in life, but they have to live with their decisions, and one has to learn to accept that and move on. I felt like the "band-aid" queen for so many years, and I learned it all from my mom. I finally got off the enabler train and moved on. I hope that you don't take what I wrote here the wrong way, I just wish someone had said something to me early on, so that I could think about my responses and actions with people who I love. =^..^=
from green-kiwis :
I had this same fight with my last boyfriend... And we failed at trying to fix the problem. Anyway, if I were to do it over, I would say that you need to be more spontaneous... if the mood strikes, do it! Or, if you have to schedule it in to your day, try and find exciting ways to look froward to it. I sound like Cosmo... bleh! But it's true!
from catsoul :
Sounds like alot that you have to do, so I don't think you should feel guilty about not being sexual available to your boyfriend. I won't lecture here, but it seems to me, that someone who really cares about you and your responsibilities and commitments would want to help you get them done, and not pressure you to think about and/or feel guilty about his personal needs. So with that said, I am sure you will make your deadlines, and do well on your test, you seem highly motivated and want to do well for yourself. There are guys out there who don't think of themselves first. Being there when you need him. Anyhoo, take care. =^..^=
from frogeye :
You'll do fine on the multiple choice section. It's a 50/50 choice after you remove the known wrong answers. Go for it! As far as the food joint, no problem with the foods, my mind is bursting with ideas. I love to improvise. I follow a basic recipe and add to it as I go along.
from urbancadence :
"so why are we in a different country?" - I dunno, many people have been asking that question for the past 7 years, but nothing has happened. What is largely certain IMO however, is that if the republicans win again this year, that question will remain unresolved for even more years. Sad :(
from frogeye :
Write what YOU want, not what you think we want to read. I agree that we all have gotten away from our original intents.
from jonnynewo :
Update! xD
from frogeye :
That's funny as gas was my first use of the card.
from urbancadence :
Ugh... I hate it when things like this happen. Update, update! Have you heard from him? What happened???
from jonnynewo :
I read your diary every single day. Oh, and I'm not tired of hearing about him either...
from blazingstar :
I still read it! And no, I'm not tired of hearing about him!
from blazingstar :
You're right, it's nice to have a boyfriend you can kiss!
from blazingstar :
You're right, you're right, I'm way overdue for an update. Or like 23842 updates. At this point I just don't even know where to begin...sigh. So much to explain. I'm writing you this note from the airport, on my way to go see you-know-who...
from virginistic :
Randomly found you. You were a user online "right now". Anyway, wanted to say hello. My name's Stephaney too [awesome]. and your layout is cute. beef noodles = yum. =]
from urbancadence :
How could you fall asleep during psych? It's sooo fascinating!!! :-P (Yeah, I'm a psych major in grad school, I'm not biased. At all.)
from jonnynewo :
Where are we going today? What will we do? What will happen? Our time together begins in just a few short hours... So ask yourself, are you ready?
from urbancadence :
We all need alone days sometimes. In fact, I really enjoy my alone days when I don't have to do anything other than whatever I feel like. Just be honest if your friends ask you to hang out: "I'm gonna have a 'Me' day to do my own thing." Or "I need tomorrow to get my shit done, run some errands, stuff that I've been needing to do for a while". I'm sure they won't stand in your way... and I'm sure they'll understand 'cos they treasure their own "Me" days. And since you're being honest, voila, no guilt trip! Be sure to plan a few "Me" days every now and then. It stops you from being burned out and having to eventually reluctantly flake on people. :)
from urbancadence :
Oh yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to it! I've been listening to Disneyland theme park music all day... haven't been there in almost 2 years, so it'll be so much fun!!! :)
from urbancadence :
PMS is not ANYBODY'S friend! :)
from urbancadence :
Happy birthdaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Don't forget you have cyber friends too!! :)
from slow-drain :
Happy Birthday!!! ♥ :D
from jonnynewo :
Hey gorgeous, Happy Birthday! xDDD
from jonnynewo :
Any idea where we're eating for lunch?
from frogeye :
You are so right regarding material things. They just get in the way of loved ones and friends.
from jonnynewo :
So I kinda figured that after enabling notes I'd be getting at least one a week from you! What's the deal, huh????
from blazingstar :
I couldn't sleep last night either. In my case it's because I'm trying to figure out what to say to AGS...and so excited about his confession...siiiigh. It DOES feel like a movie! Especially the fact that we're all gonna be under one roof for a night or two...
from errantnights :
Really, nobody took this name before?
from sun-dials :
Happy birthday love! :D
from jonnynewo :
It's 3:00am and I'm still awake. I wonder, just how angry will you be at me for staying up so late? Have fun at school tomorrow! I love you, babe.
from sun-dials :
It's so cute the way you write about Irish. Funny how I've never met you but I can tell you adore him so much! :)
from pseudonymity :
English majors kick ass. Keep it up, kiddo.
from frogeye :
Stress, what a wonderful friend! Just when you think everything is at rock bottom, stress pulls up a chair and makes it all worse. What a great buddy to have. Hang in their kiddo and fight the beast!
from ohmegah :
Hey, how are you? Good I hope. I'm doing a survey of what people think of my current concept. I only ask that you read the most recent entries and then respond via diaryland. Thanks and take care.
from blazingstar :
Awww I'm glad you're so happy!
from urbancadence :
Haha! Yaayyyy!!!! It's good to be back! :-)
from blazingstar :
Yeah, I think the general feelings I was talking about apply in a lot of different situations. Sometimes it helps to just stop thinking about things, just acknowledge them and let them go...as hard as that is...Sounds like what you're trying to do with your situation.
from ohmegah :
Unlocked, uncensored, and new....my site is open for your viewing pleasure.
from ohmegah :
Hmmm, yeah my e-mail account has not been delivering messages to me and for the longest time I thought all my friends just decided to stop talking to me ( that spawned a whole bunch of mixed feelings and I didn't believe some people) but I was proven wrong and yeah my e-mail account sucks ass. So I got a new e-mail, a better one cuz it sucks and I don't think it's a good idea to put my real name on blast through the internet (you know with some weird people lurking about) Ok so my new e-mail is: gatoenmispantalones@yahoo.com . Ok take care.
from ohmegah :
Hey college kid, how you been? We used to e-mail so much and now, not even a note. College takes up every fabric of our life, don't it? At least that's my excuse for not doing anything anyways. Ok, I always write a lot and this is just a simple note...SO....Just saying :hey, and how you doing? Later.
from urbancadence :
Whoa, I never knew I had such a profound influence on you! Haha! Sorry!! :-P
from frogeye :
A Poe and Shakespear fan, all in the same package? What else will God create? Nice writing, I enjoyed your entries.
from blazingstar :
Good, good...so it's not just me :) The thing is, he's a decent kid and I'm sure there will be no hard feelings when I say no. But I still think it's a little weird that he would ask.
from blazingstar :
Yeah, it's really hard. But he really cares about you and he has to believe it wasn't your fault. It will be SO much easier when he moves there!
from blazingstar :
Sigh...alcohol. I remember one time sophomore year my boyfriend called and told me that he'd been at a party the night before and one of his friends kissed him because she was really drunk. I knew the girl, and I knew she didn't mean anything by it, but it was still really upsetting. I couldn't help feeling like if he and I were in the same place we wouldn't have to deal with that shit.
from illusionless :
Glad I could help! ^^ I'm also glad that your date went well! :) I'm so happy for you. 8D
from illusionless :
I totally understand the whole controlling-overprotective parents issue. I know it's hard to live with parents dissapproval, but please remember that it is YOUR life not theirs, so you have to do the things that make you happy despite them being upset about it. Also in their defense they are just being parents and worrying/caring about you as all parents do. It's hard for parents to let go, but don't worry they should come around eventually. On another topic I myself have met plenty of wonderful people through the Internet and I have even had a few dates and one past relationship through that method, so I agree with you there! You sound like a smart person with a good head on her shoulders and your parents will see that. As long as you are safe that's all that matters. Sometimes we have to rip ourselves away from our parents grip or else they will never be ready to let us go. I hope this helps in bringing a little perspective on things. Good luck with meeting this guy! :)
from karbonphyber :
can't forget about the huge role easy mac plays in a college diet. :P
from urbancadence :
Aww, that's so very sweet of you, thanks! :-) I'll tell Doug that he has people whom he doesn't even know thinking of him!
from blazingstar :
There's nothing wrong with being an 18-year-old kid venting! I bet a good night's sleep will help. Things usually look better after that.
from urbancadence :
Hilarious! I cleaned my apartment after coming home drunk once.
from smart9523 :
I am not very original, but I am a college kid too.
from tampaxofdoom :
Yeah I use notecards like a...college kid.
from blazingstar :
Hey college-kid, I'm a college kid too! Nice diary.
from ohmegah :
wow, that last entry was great. I love the analogy between your friend's rooftop and the beatles last performance.
from ohmegah :
Thats the truth. Hey, listen, we talk a lot so why not e-mail? mine is rubensazo@yahoo.com . Later.
from ohmegah :
Hah, yeah understand. I have soo many books I want to read but I have to hold off until summer. It seems to me that you and I have a lot of things in common. Sometimes I'm amazed how college life is filled with soo many things that play at the same time, and somehow we manage to juggle all of them.
from fifidellabon :
I like your diary! It reads quite well. I read your archives, then added you. I never do that right off! /Fifi
from ohmegah :
OOh, I just had the same assignment in english class not too long ago. I was like you, not sure what to write a whole essay on, and if I did song lyrics I knew for sure I would get expelled. By mere chance I ran into the poet, Sylvia Plath, she's super talented, dark and sarcastic (the movie girl interrupted is loosely based on her life). I suggest you take a look at her work at least. Also, Nathaniel Hawthorne. As far as the violin goes, umm Have you heard of Rasputina? They're a three girl, string band that play some pretty dark music. I think they're Marilyn Manson's favorite band, like he produced one of their songs (Transylvanian Concubine). If you want to start a band just put some flyers in your local music stores and online...you're bound to get a response sooner or later. Good luck with everything.
from broken214 :
That's awesome! I am happy for you. No I really don't think I am ready right now for marriage. :) Oh well maybe later. But we did go out to eat and I had strawberry margaritas....yum.
from ohmegah :
You play? What instrument(s)? I play drums, guitar, synth, and sing. Never give up on music, never. You're right about the rush though... there's nothing like it in the world. I'll even go as far as to say that love doesn't even measure up to the feeling of being on stage in front of people, just thinking about gets me pumped up. As far as a career.. you either make it or don't make it. So once you've got your degree and and a good paying job, you should follow your dream of music.
from ohmegah :
Oh no, I was talking about me, before I started college. All I did was be on D-land, play music, and work. Now I go to college, work, have a band, and try to somehow keep a firm grip on who I am. From reading some of your posts, I see how busy you really are. Two jobs and college? I can't even do one job and college. Like all guys, I've got one track mind.
from ohmegah :
I used to do the same thing, once in awhile you'll find a gem among the heap of garbage that litters websites such as this one. It's rare, that someone might actually have something interesting to say and present it in a different way than the rest. I stopped looking at the list, however. I suppose my busy schedule does not allow me the leisure time I once had. Oh how I miss doing nothing.
from ohmegah :
Thanks, It seems to me that when I go through turmoil and depression, I think more. My curse is a blessing, now if only I edit my work and publish it. I thank you for reading, my big nothing. I like your writing too, since I too can relate to a strict college discipline. Many people see college life as just as complete freedom to do whatever they want, without thinking about the consequences that linger close behind.
from ohmegah :
Thanks for the add. However did you find my little hole in the wall?
from krhyskrhys :
It's really interesting to see someone else's view on the college experience. I agree that a lot of students come to college for the partying and "independence" rather than for the education. That's what it feels like here anyway. I'm looking forward to reading more from you.
from broken214 :
Philosophy rocks! I hope you did well on the exam. What college do you go to?

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