messages to mehiel:
(click here to add new message):

from sparkspark :
[email protected] XOX
from revisions :
glad to see you wrote again. it's been a long time. hope you're well.
from hissandtell :
I've just stumbled on your diary again -- and see that you've updated recently. Are you back? I hope so! If you'd care to share your password with me, I'd truly love to read you. Love, R xxx
from raven72d :
You've been missed. I'm glad to see you post again.
from bornearly :
Hey, dear Mehiel -- it's good to see you again. I'm glad you're immersed in your writing. Criticism is a pain in the ass, like many other good teachers. Don't give up on yourself. xo
from geek-betty :
I miss your words. I hope life is treating you well.
from raven72d :
You are missed.
from raven72d :
Where are you these days?
from raven72d :
Please do update soon... You are missed.
from raven72d :
Merry Christmas! Vur' much so.
from raven72d :
No-- not ugly or dirty. You're lovely and valuable and bright.
from raven72d :
Congrats! I hope being a Permanent Resident is a delight... As for me--- trying to move to a new flat...
from bornearly :
Hooray, hooray! You did it! I am sending you (in my mind, of course) chocolates and flowers and all sorts of sparkly virtual jewelry. Congratulations! Incidentally, my diary is passworded now. Use carpe and diem to get in. (Not on regular computer, can't check notes to see if I sent you this before.) xoxo
from wildrosie :
Congratulations on all of your wonderful achievements! Now young lady, if you don't start updating more regularly, I shall have to contact Robert and ask him to turn you over his knee! *grin* Then again, you might be like me and enjoy it too much!
from raven72d :
Where have you been? Is everything okay?
from raven72d :
How did the hearing go? I remember that I was supposed to send you my number again--- I will do that. Did you like "Kafka on the Shore"?
from raven72d :
"The Changeover"?
from raven72d :
Definitely--- good luck at the hearing.
from raven72d :
Well, then: I must recount a few of the better memories.
from raven72d :
I post five or six times a week... I'm glad you still read me. But what Adventures should I recount?
from raven72d :
I miss your updates...
from raven72d :
Yay, job offer and work permit!
from raven72d :
Congrats on the anthology!
from raven72d :
It's been since your b-day with no update! I miss you!
from raven72d :
One year... congratulations.
from dragprincess :
happy b-day, baby girl.
from raven72d :
I'm locked, but-- mehiel/capybara
from raven72d :
A D-land journal called DriftsOf Eden: a new and wonderful discovery...
from raven72d :
My voice... I'm ashamed of the nasal quality, afraid it's too high-pitched, and now afraid of an accent. It goes with my loathing for my body and my existence.
from raven72d :
God, no-- I'm sorry about that! I just have to sit down and collect my thoughts and talk about the story! I'm just dreadfully lazy.
from raven72d :
Fresh brownies... I love fresh brownies...
from raven72d :
I'd love to read the story... And do go to ICFA!
from raven72d :
Do go to Moleskinerie and look for the Marjorie Holmes gallery link. And...you have intriguing dreams.
from raven72d :
No, I knew-- rationally --that you were about 23/24. I just miss that age-- having a Future.
from raven72d :
23...*sigh*...
from raven72d :
Buying art-- that is a vur' key thing to do.
from dragprincess :
quit projecting. let it be. if you don't get into grad school now (and i fully believe you will), you weren't meant to go there and then. and your path lies somewhere else, just for now.
from noaddedme :
I lost all my passwords (thanks to systems updates) and I need yours :) [email protected]
from hissandtell :
Also, I've just renewed your Supergold membership for you for a little while...I hope you're planning to keep writing here! x
from hissandtell :
I am sorry to hear about Bauhaus's recurring problems, and I'm so glad you're able to keep on top of them. When I took the puppies to the vet a few months ago to be spayed, I was amazed when the vet asked - while filling in their admittance forms - if I wanted them to have "pain relief" after their operations. I don't know the specifics of post-operative care for animals, but I have to wonder who on earth would say no to pain relief for their pets, and why it's even a separate option in the first place. The mere thought of any of my pets suffering any kind of pain (or fear) just makes me want to bawl. Love, R xxx
from sparkspark :
What a lovely thing you share--psychic vacations. XOXO Violet
from bornearly :
Waaaahhhh, I've been away too long and I no longer know your paaaaasswooooorrrrrrrrd. Can you email it to me? Thanks -- nice photos you sent me, too, by the way!
from raven72d :
I do think good thoughts about your vur' own little Bauhaus... I hope your kitty becomes healthy and well again...
from coexistapart :
Two words: Jaffa Cakes. You need to renegotiate on the Burberry. Seriously, that's the only export of any consequence. Well, that and maybe Agent Provacateur.
from coexistapart :
I tried to leave a comment today, but your SuperGold is expired. FYI.
from raven72d :
Happy Year Seven, girl!
from sparkspark :
Wishing you and Robert the best, and lots of love to your cat. I hope that opal can do magic. XOXO Violet
from wildrosie :
Having been on the "over-reacting mama" side of the recent health issues with all of our animals, I know how you are feeling. I've already been asking Bast to watch over the stray kittens that we have been feeding, but can't catch, so I will ask her to restore your baby's health, so she can come home to Mama and Papa soon! Hugs darling!
from raven72d :
Always a key fashion accessory.
from raven72d :
I liked Stewart's icy edge...but Alastair Sim makes Scrooge more tragic.
from raven72d :
The Spitting Guy Story is creepy and disturbing and explains why one needs to be armed much of the time.
from raven72d :
Keep me posted on that. I'd like to read it. There's a Japanese novel/film called "Hijikata Toshizo's Last Stand" about the Battle of Hakodate-- Hijikata being the youngest and most handsome of the leaders at Ezo (see his photos...and the depiction of him in the aneem "Peacemaker").
from raven72d :
The Republic of Ezo... There's a decent introductory article at Wikipedia, but the best book is Conrad Totman's "The Collapse of the Tokugawa Bakufu"...
from raven72d :
Congrats on the workshop.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... Does it have a pony? All real books have Small Mongolian Ponies.
from raven72d :
No-- I've never read anything by Franzen. Are you reading "The Corrections"...?
from dragprincess :
sigh. one of the hardest things about watching a loved one use is knowing how out of control their actions are. i say that knowing that many of my actions were coke-fueled and ecstasy-laden and i refused to hear anyone else in my certainty. theresa will do what she wants. susan is 100% right. YOUR relationship can change. if you need to back off for your sanity, that's okay. put yourself first here -- so you can be there for her when she hits bottom.
from revisions :
for what it's worth i watched a very dear friend go forward with a bad engagement and they ended up divorced a year later. i still wish that i would have been honest with her about what i thought before they were married. even if it would not have made one bit of difference, i should have told her the truth - because i was her friend and because the truth mattered.
from raven72d :
One day we must have cornbread dressing...
from bornearly :
By all means, I'd be honored to get a story from you about your mum. Will catch up soon on diaries... :)
from raven72d :
I hope it wasn't too lonely. And I hope that your long weekend goes vur' well.
from revisions :
from someone going through the same thing in england, happy thanksgiving!
from raven72d :
Thanks for the kind wishes, lovely one...
from raven72d :
I love the idea of a Lord of the Rings nursery! Yay, Psyduck Nazgul! Yay, Tolkien Pokemon!
from raven72d :
Are you thinking of Murakami's "Man Eating Cats"?
from raven72d :
I haven't read the Dexter novels yet. I knew there was a first one, but I haven't taken a look yet. But I will have to.
from dope-slave :
NOW, YOU FOUND THE MOST IMPORTANT MAGIC IN THE WORLD. IT IS LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!
from revisions :
thank you!!
from raven72d :
Boysnberry jam is excellent. Biscuits aren't difficult at all... Try the biscuit mix from gullahgourmet.com-- dead easy to make.
from raven72d :
Peach cobbler is good... I love the crust/topping. And every Saturday morning I make biscuits and have them with boysenberry jam or red currant jelly.
from raven72d :
Snowflakes! Yay!
from raven72d :
Thank you, lovely one.
from raven72d :
Condolences to you both.
from raven72d :
Stodgy and prudish? Where did you get that? I would like to know much more about your adventures at 14-18...
from raven72d :
'Twas fascinating and a delight...and a surprise, yes.
from raven72d :
I love the make-up bruises idea.
from raven72d :
Vur' hot entry!
from raven72d :
Oh, I did.
from raven72d :
12 October 06: I love the entry and the memories.
from raven72d :
Katsu?
from raven72d :
Year of the Boar? I'm Year of the Pony.
from raven72d :
worldcrossing.com has wonderful forums on all sorts of cool topics. I do post there.
from raven72d :
I had great hopes at World Crossing once upon a time.
from raven72d :
Not too late at all.
from raven72d :
Black is a good colour. And ever since Gibson noted that Cayce looked in his mind's eye like Beth Orton, I've had a crush on her. I'll re-send my mobile number.
from coexistapart :
change in password?
from raven72d :
I recall it working on girls who were 5'1 or 5'2... Get a pair of leggings from VS and just see.
from raven72d :
The leggings-and-man's-shirt look is excellent...
from bornearly :
No, Rackham's rights are owned by the Bridgeman Art Library. I had to contract with them for a fixed-term permission to use it. But it was worth it! (As soon as I sell about 30 journals, that is.)
from raven72d :
I like the Shillingford Bay Rum from Dominica. I get it at Peterman's or at Vermont Country Store (which also has Lime Bay Rum). But I shall haveto try to Burt's Bees kind. I like Burt's Bees.
from bornearly :
Oh, I'm so behind on peeking into your life. But I love your diary's new wardrobe! I'll be back soon...
from coexistapart :
Telling me you have a new diary template makes no sense when I don't have your password!!!
from raven72d :
Target has some simple 4-egg poachers--- four small individual egg units in a larger pan.
from raven72d :
I'll have to look for Irish Breakfast. I had English Breakfast this morning.
from raven72d :
I'll go take a look.
from raven72d :
I'll go take a look.
from raven72d :
I did love your Good Luck Day entry! Vur' delightful.
from raven72d :
I think I will sign up for it again.
from geek-betty :
comments thingy isn't working. love your layout. sounds like your day was fantastic. I'm jealous.
from hissandtell :
Does your comments link seem to be working for you, or is it just me it's being obstinately non-compliant with? Anyway, I'm thinking there's a little beady trashy bedazzle-me and drape-me-in-faux-fur-and-pearls part of you that could easily be Betseyfied to the max, but it's just lurking within, waiting and watching for the perfect moment to emerge like a sequinny glitzy Bob Mackie butterfly out of a chrysalis. (Or whatever they're called.) One day, darling...one day... Love, R xxx
from raven72d :
Amelia Bedelia! Yay!
from dragprincess :
I *heart* Amelia Bedelia!! Although now I have to wonder if she simply wasn't living with high-functioning autism -- hence her difficulty interpreting tone and devotion to living her life so literally.
from sparkspark :
Never, my dear, will I be terribly angry at you. What's happening when you try to read it? XOXO Violet
from how-to-fight :
Yeah, I guess it is great. It's weird. I kinda wish that stupid melrose place thing didn't happen. Oh weeell.
from dark-embrace :
Have you changed your password lately? Because I can't read your diary! *sniffles*
from raven72d :
You might also like lettersfromalibrarian at blogspot...
from revisions :
wow...canada is strict? can you not work at all? with our visas for england, i can work up to 20 hours a week. not much, but i'm exploring some options - maybe teaching pilates or something. other than that though, it sounds like things are going well!!
from raven72d :
I think it's williamgibsonbooks.com
from raven72d :
Do tell little Bauhaus that I did in fact get a password.
from geek-betty :
uh I don't think I got a password. did I get a password? could I have a password? how many times can I say password when discussing a password in this note?
from raven72d :
Why for any reason here under God's green sky would I talk to a pro domme? The whole dominatrix thing is...well...silly. The s/m scene does involve far too many ex-biker types and tubby women snarling out comic book commands. The very concept of "nascent homoeroticism" makes me want to flee to a solitary room somewhere and never, ever come out-- since any contact with humans can be made to look homoerotic, which is just one *more* reason for attractive girls not to want me.
from raven72d :
You must watch Shatner in "Incubus", the only film (yes!) ever made in Esperanto.
from how-to-fight :
I would, but as you know, I come into contact with a cd burner once every few months. Which is why I haven't made you a cd yet. :( I'm resisting the digital age as much as I can. I'll see what I can do, though.
from raven72d :
locked again??
from noaddedme :
may I have your username/password? [email protected]
from sparkspark :
Hi, Bella--I can't remember if I wrote you for a password or not, but if you're giving it out, I'd love to get it! XO Violet
from raven72d :
Japrisot... I've only read "Lady in the Car With Glasses and a Gun" and seen the film of "One Dangerous Summer".
from revisions :
i actually have orgasms quite regularly with him on top. :) and its not that aspect of it all that's missing...its the connection, which you are right in attributing to my constant emotional distance. thanks for your constant care, concern, and encouragement. it really means a lot.
from bornearly :
I do take probiotics, though not every day, now (mainly because I forget, in the sloo of other supplements I usually take). I've taken the Cell Tech ones for years (because I take their algae); their products are pretty expensive, though superior. They have limited efficacy, I think, for the overall problem, though I think it's a good idea to take them as a matter of course. Here's a question for you: I've read conflicting things about when you should take probiotics. One place says, take them any time but on an empty stomach, another says with a meal; yet another says before bed. Which is best?
from revisions :
long story, but had to lock things up for a few weeks. email for password: herziening at gmail . com
from revisions :
and, upon more honest reflection, i'm afraid of being left. i prefer to leave than lose.
from revisions :
i think i'm scared that the love i want doesn't really exist. i think i'm scared of opening myself up to the possibility and finding disappointment in return. the door to my emotions feels like pandora's box, and when i think of opening that door, i feel very afraid.
from revisions :
ohhh...like yours too. i actually love key lime pie. its amazing. weird about the dreams...wouldn't it be fascinating to have someone analyze them? i've always been morbidly curious about what insight my dreams could give about me.
from zonoria :
Saw your comments at Nici's so I thought I'd come over and see what kind of strong, smart person is behind them. If your hit count goes up, that's why, so you know you're not being stalked. (Also, there's no zonoria diary anymore. I just keep the name for the buddylist.)
from how-to-fight :
Shit! I keep meaning to and then I keep not--but do you play tapes? Unfortunately, I'm a better tape maker than cd maker, and if I make a cd, it has to be at my mum's, and none of my stuff is there, so it'll be rubbish. I'm psyched about making something for you though, but just to narrow it down--can you give me a theme? Anything at all..
from how-to-fight :
thanks for being amazing, miss mehiel. i keep not replying and not commenting on your new stuff (devastating new entry, that), but you really are being so very sweet to me. many thanks. :) i will try to listen to you.
from bornearly :
I got Robert's email with the link to photos... but can't see them! I can get the "contact sheet" page and click on individual ones, but they don't appear (even when popups are allowed), nor will the slideshow play. ?
from bornearly :
No, I haven't, and that's one reason I'm being careful. I certainly don't need a situation with a lot of chaos attached. At least the youngest is going to college this fall, another daughter is already on her own... I'm not sure how old the son is; I think older. Fortunately my schedule doesn't have many holes in it anyway, so it's not like I'd suddenly be spending a lot of time with him. And I haven't even gotten together with the guy yet. Maybe he'll look better on paper, ultimately, than in person. (She said, displaying award-winning logic and restraint.)
from bornearly :
Oooh, thanks for the quinoa hints. I like the yogurt thing or the cold salad. New entry about Board Member Guy, too... :)
from bornearly :
Actually, he was the first one to make that joke, the first time Rose and I met him. That's like me introducing myself as "Yo, Adrienne" so no one else will say it (thinking they're so original)!
from revisions :
i would like the password please!
from how-to-fight :
Well, yeah... I suppose I'm doing about the same. I have the arsenal--Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, etc, Leonard Cohen poetry, alot of sad director movies, and alot of wistful fiction. And I'm alienating everyone I know. And it's only been two days!
from revisions :
neither of us knows what we would like to do...well, we have an idea, but its likelyhood is very uncertain.
from how-to-fight :
Hey sweetie, thanks--- the sadness is I think my boyfriend and I broke up. And, of course, you know I want a password if you lock up! :)
from raven72d :
You must watch "Gilgamesh" and "Tekhnolyze"--- two wonderful aneem series.
from how-to-fight :
If I was pretty, it was only because everything was. :)
from raven72d :
I only wonder about one or two exes. One I hope is doing well, one I wish...Bad Things...for.
from revisions :
i also wonder what happened to my ex's.
from raven72d :
I'm always afraid of e-mails... I never know what might be in them. But I did open yours... I have no idea if I did anything to upset Jilly. It's just-- quick replies to e-mails or comments always terrify me.
from mare-ingenii :
Thank you so much!
from raven72d :
I love their khakis. I have a couple of well-loved pair. And I love the little stories...
from raven72d :
It's never too early to moisturize. And I'm a major consumer of eye creams.
from raven72d :
Look for the film version of 'New Rose Hotel'... Willem Dafoe, Asia Argento, Christopher Walken.
from raven72d :
My favourite stories by Gibson: "Burning Chrome", "Skinner's Room", "New Rose Hotel".
from raven72d :
How can they not extend your visa? Canuckia's not even a Real Country, and you're an American!
from revisions :
i feel that fideism is a poor response to the cartesian crisis...i guess that's why i could never get behind his argument.
from revisions :
i find it fascinating that you like kierkegaard.
from bornearly :
A book page will definitely be up soon with specs. I can make any size you want, really. I loved your wedding pics, by the way! xo
from raven72d :
He died intestate; the civil law provides for equal division in that case. She's all worried about when the estate will be settled and what bills are being paid. I'm just trying to stay in this house as long as possible.
from raven72d :
Congrats on acceptance!
from raven72d :
She always wants to talk about my father's succession-- what bills are being paid? What will become of the house? Who's doing what? I want to be just left alone... And for my sister-- it's a totally new world every day, and everything in her world is panic-driven.
from how-to-fight :
Go team cuticle destroyer! Believe me. I know. I'm that person too. Seriously. That paragraph encapsulates my LIFE.
from revisions :
ha ha ha!! i should send you a photo of my hands! i make them bleed daily becuase i bite my cuticles. i tend to think that it has something to do with my perfectionism though - when they look off i try to bite them to make them even. i also do it when i'm nervous though we also share hypochondria - i'm consistently afriad of cancer, pregnancy, etc. (no wonder you felt a kinship to my diary)
from geek-betty :
tag you're it!
from sparkspark :
Very lovely! And: Awwwwwww. Your _husband_ Robert! XOXO Vio
from bornearly :
Well, there were a couple of authors there I hadn't looked into. Thanks. I actually have "The Big Over Easy," but I'm holding out til I get through a couple of other things. Don't want to open ALL the big presents at once. :)
from revisions :
congrats...you look beautiful and it sounds like the wedding was a wonderful experience. :)
from threeletters :
Hi Mehiel... you wrote to me once about longing for the phantom Seattle mist (which I'm sure is very similar here in BC). I'm finally GOING to Seattle next week, just for a couple days, and you seem like a good person to ask about what fun or poetic things are most important to be done or seen there. I hope you'll write me back. Thanks, Jess.
from revisions :
when is the big day?
from how-to-fight :
Hahah! Nate's a boy. He's just a boy-girl. Every girl needs a token gay friend when they're ending stuff with their boyfriend. Actually, almost any girl-guy issue. A girl needs a gay friend. We can't get off the internet though! Off to more Kylie and sadness. :)
from mare-ingenii :
Well, I mean... I only have one cat! Also, regarding Toronto writing-groups... I'm actually on the hunt for one myself. Keep me posted and I'll do the same, yeah?
from raven72d :
I will takee look-see for them.
from raven72d :
Ummm...where are the links to the erotica?
from raven72d :
Are those stories? Novels? CDs?
from revisions :
my education has mainly concentrated on analytical philosophy - descartes, hume, locke and those they influenced. my recent degree has focused on systematic theology - also known as philosophical theology. my thesis is on philosophy of language in light of umberto eco and semiotics - in short - the possibility of justice as a cross-cultural linguistic symbol as suggested by michael walzer. with this thesis i've been reading some foucalt, wittgenstein, peirce, and others. i'm mainly concerned with eco, however. and you are right, i've grown impatient with the obsession with certainty that analytical philosophy brings. of those you've listed i've read levinas and liked entre nous. the others i know of in basic theory, but have never really concerntrated on their works. this all to say, i'd definitely be up for a chat on philosophy...let me know!
from bornearly :
Our band albums are available on iTunes. My solo ones are on their way, though CD Baby is taking MONTHS to get them there. :)
from revisions :
so what's the plan? indoor? outdoor? big? small? etc...
from raven72d :
I cringe at the word "bling", but the necklace is lovely.
from wildrosie :
I posted the answer to your question on my notes, I figure that others might want to know the answers to that question. I love show-stoppers, whether I strut my stuff physically or vocally. Yes, I am a Diva. I even have a tiara from Hiss that says so! ~Rosie~
from wildrosie :
Hi Sweetie, just spent a while getting caught up, so if your stats show a big jump, it was just li'l ol' me! You know, I've lived in LA, and the Seattle area too. And the cistern in Istanbul is amazing. I have pics if you wanna see them. You know, I have never thought that an American would have any problem going to ANY country they chose. How arrogant of me! I do wish that somehow we could all be there for your wedding, but I can't even afford to drive an hour away, much less thousands of miles. *Sigh* Well, we will be thinking of you anyway, and if you ever get to Tombstone Arizona, you know you have a place to stay! Hugs ~Rosie~
from revisions :
and thanks for the note. deep down, i think i'm really afraid of failing...and so you're right - if i never try, i'll never know...
from revisions :
i just wanted to let you know that i really enjoy your diary and i'm glad to find another like mind here.
from how-to-fight :
I AM a one trick pony. But the best line from my new(est) story: �Damnit, Neal, I�m a whore, not a foot model.� For some reason I think it's funny.
from how-to-fight :
I know what you mean--unfinished stories. My gosh, those are some good starts, though. For some reason I'm posting twice. In the spirit of your fiiinnee, fiinee literary tatters.
from how-to-fight :
You have a cat named Bauhaus! Wonderful!
from revisions :
and i only ask because i am deeply grateful for finding you finding a connection in my writing...maybe i'm not so crazy after all...
from revisions :
password??
from how-to-fight :
Sure did! It's fantastic. I had the pleasure of seeing it once. I have the recording, too; definitely worth checking out.
from bornearly :
Y'mean, a list of the people I talk about and their descriptions or relationship to me? That might be helpful at this point. Where do you put it and how do you link it? Is it just an entry somewhere?
from mare-ingenii :
Thank you for adding me. I appreciate it more than I can say. And welcome to Toronto... it'll get friendlier, I promise.
from coexistapart :
I think you posted late enough to see what was going on, but just so you know I'm trying to get into the habit of replying to all comments and queries under the page where they are left. I know it is annoying that there is no notification system to let you know that I replied, but it just makes it generally easier to follow the thread of discussion.
from raven72d :
I'd love to read your stories...
from coexistapart :
No, I certainly do not mind you adding me as a favourite but you must spell it 'favoUrite' or else you cannot be legally accepted into Canada ;) Thank you for asking though, that was very sweet of you. I thought perchance I had clicked by your site recently--your template is very familiar--but unless you only just locked up, that seems unlikely. I shall have to follow the wedding developments; what girl in their right mind doesn't love a good wedding? Especially involving a couple who met online.
from how-to-fight :
Definitely!
from yeahimadork :
I tried to find an email link on your page to send the code, but I couldn't, so I'll note it: <img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y293/innatedelirium/6f4ae71a.gif" alt="Common sense isn't so common." ></img> Enjoy! :)
from how-to-fight :
Every girl needs a slutty article of red clothing.
from lerin :
I read your comments on Betty's entries, and I'd love to read your diary if you are comfortable sharing the password info. (If not, I totally understand!) My email is [email protected]
from sparkspark :
I love it, too, that you knew! I call her "spoon mouth" based on that odd configuration when she cries. (Not to her face.)
from sparkspark :
Ha ha ha -- that's just my fake name for it, based on an architectural feature of the same name on the building. The place is really named after a type of sandwich, which makes more sense. I just have to goth everything up, don't I?
from raven72d :
Lovely summer 2005 photo.
from raven72d :
I'll go takee look-see.
from noaddedme :
thanks - it seems more like a landslide backwards than a step back. I'm so trying not to give up, but this is the hardest thing ever.
from raven72d :
I look forward to the bio...
from raven72d :
Just start with the events that made you what you are...with the Stories that mean the most to you...and the more wicked, the better.
from sparkspark :
The questionnaire, which I've mostly finished now (8:39 p.m., PST) asks for examples of graphic design projects, specific role played, experience with various software programs, etc., and nothing personal. I managed to write my life story in three pages, as my life pertains to graphic design anyway. I know all the people involved in making the hiring decision, it'll just depend on whether or not they see me as (as my boss implied they do) "just Violet," in other words, a glorified secretary. Hardly flattering OR observant on their part, if true! i feel a bit like I'm jumping into the lion's den, but then I realize, "Oh, right: it's just some stupid little job," and force myself to regain perspective. XO Vio
from raven72d :
I'm looking forward to your bio entry.
from alainabelle :
Congratulations on your engagement!!! That's so wonderful to hear. I wish you all the best! Love, Poppy
from sparkspark :
Happy day to you, too--again, and belatedly, I should say. I think it's interesting to see what words people choose, and of course, I have to take it with a grain of salt, in case anything surprising turns up. XOXO Vio
from nicim :
2/14/06 happy V-Day dear - and congrats bunches and bunches. Woot!! I'm so happy - now we need a real picture of it on your finger...XXOO N
from sparkspark :
Your note made me laugh and imagine the line "totally motionless..." quietly bouncing around your subconscious for a couple of days until finally it sprang to the fore. Not moronic at all! XOX Vio
from nicim :
2/7/06 email me if, for any reason, you need a "job" to help out the Visa situation. We can help. And no, no one is perfect. But I believe you know "The One" when you find it, and you will never, ever, wake up wishing you could have done better - because he/she will always be the best. XXOO N
from nicim :
2/6/06 so glad to get your emails to let me know everything is going well. keep in touch sweetie. i just know everything is going to go peachy for you two. let it flow naturally and love will simply take over, leading you both to where you need to be. XXOO N
from threeletters :
Hey thanks for the "hugs"... is there some way I can look at your diary again?
from arc-angel666 :
Good Evening Mehiel: How does one go about reading your diary? You have left me such lovely notes and shown such kindness I feel I'd like to get to know you, so if its okay May I read you? I of course will need the password and if possible could you show me the secret handshake? :-)
from raven72d :
Whatever will you do without cell service?
from sparkspark :
I could stand a little sawdust and Calabasas if it meant a good time! I'll investigate. Thank you for the password to your lovely diary. XO Violet
from wickedcrazy :
Thank you for the advice. I will definitely try that. I can't even remember if I mentioned that theres arthritis in them as well. eh. I was born old. Someone told me about a hand cream called blue emu. Suposed to work wonders. I'm going to try what you said first though, so thanks.
from raven72d :
I really didn't care if James Frey made up his memoir. It's the story that counts-- was it exciting and gripping? Reading a memoir, reading a novel-- what's the difference, when you're reading at a distant of years and hundreds of miles? A character in a novel, the author of a memoir-- they're all "real" on the same level: words on a page. If Frey claims to have been a junkie outlaw, or Benjamin Wilkomirski claims to have survived Auschwitz as a child-- how are they are any more/less real than Gatsby or Sherlock Holmes? They're all just stories in books.
from raven72d :
There's a gibbous moon here tonight. What's in your skies?
from nicim :
1/13/06 Friday the 13th - but your lucky day nonetheless. Farscape is yours - just email your mailing address [email protected]. PS - great pic XXOO N
from bornearly :
Go, Hiss! What a great surprise! As to the fields question: I found that info in the "Help Section and FAQs" link at left. Scroll down on that page and you'll see "How to use the 3 optional fields," and click on that. You can rename them, and place them anywhere you want on your page. Have fun!
from hissandtell :
Okay, here it is: I upgraded your gold account that the delicious bornearly gave you to a supergold, so you can have comments on each entry - so it's easier for me to leave you comments, basically. I hope you don't mind too much... Love, R xxx
from sanetwin :
also, I would really like to send you a house warming gifty when you move. Would that be okay?
from sanetwin :
Perhaps its the impending change that is causing the hormones? Every time I move I get depressed, but then I'm bipolar. Will you have internet set up immediately when you move?
from hissandtell :
I got you a gifty-thingy, possum! Can you guess what it is? Love, R xxx
from sanetwin :
I got the shirt from Old Navy (the kids section)!!! Fun ha! How is the packing and preperations going?
from nicim :
dear friend - you have so often left me messages and notes that have meant so much....and i don't know why i haven't asked before but, if you are so inclined, i sure would love to know more about you. would you share your diary with me? you can email to [email protected]. Again, thank you for so much you've given to me this year. XXOO N
from raven72d :
A passport to go to Canada? That's just...silly. Canuckians act like they're a Real Country or something!
from bornearly :
How wonderful!! Congratulations on the next phase of the adventure. I also want to know when your friend in Japan gets his undies!
from hissandtell :
Congratulations, possums - wonderful news. Just try to stay calm during the next few weeks, alrighty? Love, R xxx
from sanetwin :
Yay! Congrats Robert for the new job! Where are you moving to?
from sanetwin :
Merry Christmas! I want to thank you for being my friend this year, many times your comments and insights have made me feel so much better about things!
from choose-life :
thanks for the note, have a merry christmas and a great new year :)
from raven72d :
Damn it, now I have to remember where I wrote down the p/w... Since this is a library computer and not my home Small Psyduck Laptop...
from hissandtell :
Congratulations on your GOLD, baby! (And isn't that Ms Early the bestest?) Can't wait to see all the pretties you put together for our entertainment... Love, R xxx
from mcearstix :
yo. isn't that the worst way to start a sentence? I'm going to be in the states in february/march... seattle, texas... other places. where will you be? it would be nice if our trajectories alligned.
from sanetwin :
There are several diaryland folks I want to meet as well. I seem to live NOWHERE close to anyone. Surprise. My area isn't exactly a mecca of culture.
from sanetwin :
That song makes me sad too.
from mcearstix :
you're going to think I'm lying, but I swear I was thinking of you as I quoted trent and I thought it would be an inside-joke smile thing. I like you! the other person that has the tattoos is anthony, he's in my band ice cream creatures (have you heard it?) and he's my best friend. salut!
from raven72d :
Tell me about the article.
from raven72d :
The small, non-extinct Thylacines enjoy being Sith Lords with me and flying box kites at the Undisclosed Location. And a re-release of "Man Who Fell To Earth"? Vur' cool indeed.
from raven72d :
Is Bauhaus a rectangular cat?
from sanetwin :
AWWW the darth vader kid is adorable. He could totaly come home with me.
from mcearstix :
you're special and clever and resourceful; you're warm cookies. let's drink coffee again together and giggle and smile. thinking of you.
from hissandtell :
Hey, possumbaby - thanks for the note about Pacifica. I checked them out and had my finger itching on the credit card trigger, but they seemingly don't ship OS. Sigh. Meanwhile, best wishes to Robert for the big I, and enjoy your curry! Much love, R xxx
from sanetwin :
OH dammit, I wish you hadn't mentioned the girl from the ring. now I'm all creeped out too.
from actsmag :
Beautiful layout, and you can just write to [email protected] direct and send address etc.
from sanetwin :
I love the new kitty name :) it seems so perfect for a black cat.
from bornearly :
Thanks for your note! And, er -- anti-allergen Febreze? Didn't know that existed. I may have to include it in my travel armory. I wonder if it would freeze in the car? ...glad you like the "knook," as Hiss puts it. My design services are free!
from holdensolo :
Whatever password I once had was lost a long time ago in a whiskey soaked accident of astronomical proportions. I hope you are well.
from sanetwin :
I want star wars ornaments! I'm jealous.
from doing-it :
ha ha ha - it's not that we don't want it, it's that the night doesn't always allow it. we both work late and have things to do during the little time we have at night - a lot of times, there's not time or we're too tired. :(
from sanetwin :
I didn't realize until you left that note that you had sent me something. I checked my email and saw it! Yay!!! First: I love your hair all curly. Jealous. Second: your cat looks JUST LIKE my cat. Seriously. Third: Oscar mobile rocks. Thank you :)
from sanetwin :
yay! pictures~
from doing-it :
ok, so I saw that you added me as a favorite, and I was at least going to go and check out your diary...but it's locked. :) thanks for adding me though. this is definitely an intersting point in life that for some reason you feel no one wants to hear about, yet you're dying to tell and figure out...
from mcearstix :
you are hip!! you have hips!! ok. I think about you a lot, actually, wondering how you are and where you are and what you're doing. I hope all of it is good. maybe someday we'll be in the same nook of the world again. oh, and you locked your diary, btw.
from bornearly :
Whoops. The website I meant to give you was www.reiki.org, not dot com. Dog org is the one my teacher recommended; I don't know about the other one. In any case, have fun.
from bornearly :
If you email me at [email protected], I can send you a blurb that explains the basics. There's also a huge website, reiki.com, which I haven't even navigated yet -- if it's too much to get into, you can start with my few paragraphs!
from sanetwin :
Congratulations!!
from bornearly :
I love your thoughts on Halloween ("skittery leaves" and "creepy aesthetic" -- oh yes!); I feel just the same. I've been contemplating just how to effect some ghoulish atmosphere in the garrett as well. Fake gravestones in the bathroom? Ghosts hanging in doorways? And congratulations on your literary progress!
from hissandtell :
Indy's hat and whip? OINK! Darling, I so enjoyed your account of your Toronto trip (even if you didn't get to have breakfast at that other "T" place). I love your writing and always appreciate your notes and observations at my place; thank you so much. Have fun with Slowpoke - I can't wait to read more. (And the amethyst and WG pendant? Honestly, why wait until next year for something you can play with now?) Much love, R xxx
from sanetwin :
I'm sorry you are homesick!
from raven72d :
Thanks for the call!
from raven72d :
She's _WhyGeorgiaWhy at LJ. Do see... And her family works at...a winery. I think.
from raven72d :
Oddly, yes: Bellingham, I think. I've never had a massage, but one from a tall redhead would be lovely. And Vicodin is a delight, too.
from sanetwin :
oh. my. god. I am completely in love with wai ching now.
from sanetwin :
:( to the back pain. I hope you feel better.
from raven72d :
I've been thinking about blood oranges... Blood oranges and Wild Turkey seem...promising.
from raven72d :
An agent! Oh, my! Good luck with the papers and conferences!
from bornearly :
I want an agent too. If you find one, let me know! :) (My bandmate does all our booking.)
from bornearly :
One: If you were walking through a forest, and you met a younger version of yourself (say, at fifteen or sixteen) coming towards you, what would you tell her? Two: What's the biggest obstacle you've overcome so far? Three: Who has been the most important mentor in your life, and why?
from sanetwin :
yay! three ?'s: How did you meet Robert? Who is your favorite author and what is your favorite book? (wait does that count as two? Let it count as one lol). Do you plan to have children?
from raven72d :
Thanks... And-- I hope you're feeling better.
from raven72d :
Ummm...password... I think I forgot what it was...
from dark-embrace :
I'd be happy to throw you over some of my "jiggle" *LOL* Though I don't know how that would be accomplished. I'm feeling quite insane and crazy. Ahhh.. weekend. Yipee!!
from sanetwin :
I told David about my icky dream that I wrote about in my last post. He was concerned that I should be having nightmares like that and said it wasn't "normal". Who can judge what is normal though?
from alainabelle :
Thanks for the kind note and password. :)
from bornearly :
Hi, and thanks for the note and password. Would you like me to delete it from my notes so it's not generally available? I took a glance in your room tonight and, were it not so late already, I'd get into some of those pages scattered around your desk and on the floor. I'm intrigued and looking forward to reading more soon!
from raven72d :
I have no idea what an "Orange Dove" is or what "the Island" refers. The Rules probably work perfectly: they're designed for those with value, not for me. And it is always hostile to claim that I "treat" girls "like" anything.
from raven72d :
I read "The Alienist" but never liked it... Carr's fiction always strikes me as contrived and preachy. I always imagine myself not as V., but as the Leader, trying to keep Britain in order and functioning.
from sanetwin :
I'm glad you're enjoying the new job :)
from raven72d :
I shall have to look for the CD... And you must e-mail me and tell me more...
from sanetwin :
Thank you for the lyrics! I loved them. I'm going to have to download some music by that artist now.
from sanetwin :
That would be such a neat job, especially if it promised advancement in the publishing industry!
from raven72d :
Anti-depressants still don't *physically* prevent them from getting laid.
from starting-gun :
Hello mehiel. You are psychic! My latest diary entry actualy answers your question! I'll be moving in with him when we marry, and then hopefully we will buy a house soon after. Thanks for your question. By the way, have you locked your diary from the public or have you decided to password it?
from raven72d :
Ummm... there *is* a mid-1990s coffeeshop-vampire film called "Blood and Donuts".
from dark-embrace :
I think memories, good ones that is, are a great thing to have when you get older and since I didn't get to alot when i was a child, I want my son to experience more so he can talk about it when he is older to his mates and hopefully pass it on to his children. And if you ever get the chance to visit a croc farm then you must do it! Holding a baby one is one in a million experience and you wouldn't believe how soft they are to touch. I was amazed.
from hissandtell :
Your last entry made me cry. Not just about invasion of privacy and the diary-reading business, but because of your toad story. A few weeks ago we were in the huge supermarket in town (about two hours drive away) and one of my tiny little bush frogs hopped out of our esky (insultated cooler) and onto the floor of the supermarket. I watched him hop down under display stands towards his inevitable doom, and I started to sob. I felt as if I'd failed him - he'd been born here in the middle of nowhere, in a place that would do him no harm, and through his own misfortune and my carelessness in not checking the esky before I took it town, he'd met his fate in a busy supermarket in a city. It quite broke my heart, and I think I understand your guilt, darling. Love, R xxx
from raven72d :
When you see "Evangelical", always be wary of the Swiss Protestant vampire Huldrych Zwingli.
from raven72d :
Trust me: even at my Advanced Age, I'd panic and flee the country if ever my surviving parent read my diary.
from dark-embrace :
Thank you! and I do appologise for being such a slack diarist. Hope to catch up with you soon :)
from raven72d :
Thank you... But why the lockage?
from hissandtell :
Thanks so much the password, darling. Good luck with the job hunt - I know someone will recognise your supreme wonderfulness and snap you up in a hurry! Love, R xxx
from wonderchai :
yes - when i locked mine i used a few different names and passwords but they work for everyone, including non-diarylanders. :)
from raven72d :
Ummm... Canada's not actually a country. It's *like* a country, but not as exciting. If you move far enough overseas, just never pay back your loans... They can't get you in Tajikistan!
from raven72d :
The Esquimaux and the marauding Quebeckers didn't get you! Did you see any of the ancient ruins from the Canadian Civil War?
from sanetwin :
Sounds like you had a wonderful visit. ""I am more foul than they are." That made me laugh. Good response.
from raven72d :
In Canada...beware the Evil Esquimaux!
from raven72d :
Tanqueray with limeade, yes... I've never tried that, but it sounds brilliant. Mint, eh...? I'd have to think about mint.
from raven72d :
Lucky Mehiel! Christian is fascinating... I'd love to sit with her over dinner and talk 'til...well...closing time.
from mcearstix :
you have a secret sixth sense about seattle, strangely... I will be there next week. would you like to grab lunch? take me to some seattle stronghold? I'm game. e-mail me at icecreamcreature at gmail dot com if you're, too.
from raven72d :
Oh. Ah. Now I see. Being Ernesto or Scotty. Well... I enjoyed that a lot. Maybe it was just being called Ernesto.
from raven72d :
Hmmmm? Which lines? Long ago, I used to say, "Good evening, my name is -------. Are you wearing underwear?" It always worked on girls who were tripping on Ecstasy. These days, I don't feel able to speak to girls at all. I've been made to feel ashamed of desire altogether. So I do just offer small samples of the Martian soil by mail.
from sanetwin :
Oh no no no. I have that feeling all of the time, like I don't know why someone would hit on me and that other girls are looking down their noses at me. Don't feel that way! What he said was true, you are really smart and i'm sure you're beautiful too. Your personality probably shines through. You are so intelligent and empathetic. I'm sure that comes through.
from freshness :
I imagine Project Runway to be a wonderful show where ordinary people have to design airports while celebrities give them advice about how to be less fat and ugly.
from freshness :
We don't have that one in NZ, but I wish we did - it sounds exciting. All our indiginous reality TV is of the running-jumping-climbing-trees ilk. I prefer skankery and tantrums!
from invisibledon :
hey
from sanetwin :
Yay on defending your thesis!
from raven72d :
You can graduate and move, you can move in with someone and not have to worry about family disapproval or being cut off from money, you have the wherewithal to go to another city...
from raven72d :
absolutely. trains are perfect.
from raven72d :
The Rose-Croix are mere dupes of the Esquimaux and the vile, unhuman Andaman Islanders.
from raven72d :
Entirely too complicated. You'd be better off simply arranging to have all these people eliminated and just make the past...*disappear*. Otherwise it gets far too inconvenient to explain or recall or deal with.
from raven72d :
Obtaining what I crave would prove that I was worth something. It would be a kind of victory. It might even prove that I was right all along.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... apparently a variant usage by BDSM types... I'd pay far more attention to BDSM types if the "mistresses" didn't too often look like fullbacks and the males look like aging ex-bikers.
from raven72d :
If I can avoid her pencil-thin moustached father...
from sanetwin :
Being classified as a best friend by someone else sort of solidifies it doesn't it?? It makes it more realistic the place you hold in that person's life if others can see it.
from grrl-blog :
Mostly women's wear. Dresses, tops & bottoms, that sort of thing. I'll try to post photos if I can get them in digital form. Isabelle's stuff was so the fuckin' coolest.
from sanetwin :
I love the name madeline. I wanted that to be my daughters middle name.
from raven72d :
The Small Pika is kind and special and a delight... My fear is that we've been so close and I've treated her as a Pikachu-friend so long that I couldn't have sex with her...
from sanetwin :
I'm completely unmotivated as well. I hate that feeling.
from dark-embrace :
What can I say? Your beautifully talented and I love reading your diary. If I can write half as well as you do by the time I am thirty then I could die a very happy woman. Thankyou for returning the favour and adding me to your own list :) Delightful!
from raven72d :
I'm afraid to drive over bridges or on elevated urban roadways, and afraid of car repairs. It's humiliating to be one of the people everyone laughs at-- the ones by the roadside in a broken car.
from sanetwin :
:( I think "oh you weren't dispensible" is perhaps the WORST excuse to treat someone badly. I hope he included more of an apology with it.
from raven72d :
Actually, I didn't read "The Calligrapher". The reviews made it seem too entirely moralizing. I have told stories and written them down since I was twelve. I can imagine writing. I can't imagine living with anyone...at least until all parents are dead and all siblings far away.
from raven72d :
No, I don't have a silly Belgian-esque last name nor do I write for the Times. I may read "The Calligrapher", though.
from raven72d :
The Jesuits were also vur' close to penguins during the Counter-Reformation. Penguin scholars and penguin cavalry helped reclaim Poland and much of Austria for the Church. And Jesuits-- as Gabriel Byrne reminds us --often have really cool Armani black trenchcoats.
from raven72d :
The problem with people like Nussbaum is that in searching so hard for a social vision in support of "tolerance and respect" and granting such enormous value to "tolerance and respect", they help render a society unable to defend itself and its heritage against its enemies-- and they fail to see that there are indeed beliefs and values that do not merit "tolerance and respect". Pluralism must make its boundaries clear and sharp, and even a tolerant society must make it crystal clear that it will not tolerate some things and will defend itself by all means at hand against those who wish to destroy it.
from raven72d :
I find slender girls attractive. I dislike the feel-good touchy-psychobabble-feely feminista attitude that mocks any slender, lovely girl as "anorexic" or that argues that "real women have curves". Beauty is about discipline and art and artifice and constant craft. Not everyone is beautiful; not everyone can be beautiful. Flesh is a kind of swamp; it's always a reminder of death and decay. A girl who can craft herself into long sleek lines and hard angles, who wages war against the image of swamp-like fecundity: that's beautiful. A girl with lines like a swordblade, a girl all air and fire and never water or earth-- that's beautiful. I admire the willpower needed to pare away flesh and shape muscle. I have no ability to do that myself, and I envy it. I envy and admire a girl who can craft herself into beauty, who has the discipline to turn mere flesh into image.
from sanetwin :
I LOVED "Diary"!!
from raven72d :
I'm suddenly thinking of "The Night Porter"... which was seriously hot. And beautiful intellectual girls 16-24 should favor men a least 1.83 times their own age.
from raven72d :
Thank you for the temporary files info. As for Reznor... Girls should become hot/wet for (1) older, literate, bookish, academic males (e.g., me) or (2) other beautiful girls. Younger and/or buff and/or famous males... ummm...Antarctic Death Camps.
from raven72d :
Miso soup = good... "Barry Lyndon" = good... Other (Younger, Buff) Males = vur' bad... (Antarctic Death Camps!)
from raven72d :
Ummmm...how *does* one delete temporary internet files...?
from raven72d :
If only Reznor would reject all metal influences and rely on synthesizers...And, more to the point, if only Reznor weren't...*ugh*...male...
from raven72d :
everyone needs riding crops...and a polo whip.
from raven72d :
Porn is brilliantly funny-- I suggest you look for "Donkey-Raped Cheerleaders" and "Her Japanese Torturers" from c. 1980... And the more obsolete the slang, the more fun.
from sanetwin :
I'm so glad you get to stay with Robert longer!!
from raven72d :
An eighteenth-century gentleman scientist would be a perfect thing to be...
from raven72d :
09.00 is far too early for brunch. I don't know how to txt msg, though...
from raven72d :
As a leader of the Party of Sanrio Shinto, we will bring Japanese Corporate Cuteness to the benighted Formosans.
from sanetwin :
That outfit sounds adorable!! Glad you are so happy right now.
from wonderchai :
your roomie works for the *bux? :o!
from raven72d :
Well, Esperanto is based on Romance languages and does sound just like some odd mix of Italian and Portuguese and Spanish... And Wm. Shatner did speak it in "Incubus"...
from raven72d :
Cold salmon and...Esperanto. It all makes sense.
from raven72d :
Ah! I'd forgotten the note! Now-- I loved Classic Illustrated as a child... And I still recall that in all the scenes depicting "the future" (e.g., "The Time Machine"), one key motif was the Me-109 aircraft...
from raven72d :
It makes perfect sense that Luke and Leia kiss. After all-- like of Egyptian and Hellenistic models: the only ones good enough to marry into the blood royal come from inside the family. Watching the first Star Wars films, I always, always identified with the Empire.
from sanetwin :
OH man every time I watch that scene where Leia and Luke kiss I get the heeby jeebys. How weird for them. Especially because Luke completely had the hots for his sister.
from raven72d :
I've spent my life wanting to live in the Science Fiction City, wanting to live inside Blade Runner or Neuromancer-- always cold and dark, always neon, Japanese food kiosks everywhere, the evil natural world held at bay.
from raven72d :
Well: interesting, clever, read in areas I find intriguing, not afraid of sex.
from raven72d :
My own thought is to present a Severed Goat's Head to every girl who *didn't* get me a Valentine's card...but who should've.
from raven72d :
which is not, alas, a caravansarai near Pierre, SOuth Dakota.
from freshness :
I wish I could write about my friends the way you can about yours.
from threeletters :
Your recent post makes your life sound so very rich. And mine is too....but then again I'm not beautiful. More importantly i love hearing about peoples' love for their friends. I salute good friends everywhere!
from raven72d :
nagasaki is there with deshima island, of course.
from raven72d :
shinichiro watanabe...yay!
from raven72d :
I would never ruin good whiskey with anything other than 2 ice cubes.
from sanetwin :
Hmmm female empowerment as a theme for that movie?? I'm don't see it. However... the way you explained it makes me want to watch the movie again and analyze it.
from raven72d :
"Dirty jokes"... Hmmm. I like girls who can dress and flirt in outrageously sexy ways, but I've never liked girls telling "dirty jokes". It isn't...sexy. Men might tell them, since it's irrelevant if men are "sexy", and in a better world men would positively *not* be considered "sexy".
from raven72d :
My evil friend M. (G)odson Taylor used to have business cards saying he was a "free-lance semiotician". I liked that-- though at Brown the Semiotics program is called "Semi-Idiotics" and a girl I knew who was a late night dj at the Brown radio station claimed that all the 03.00 suicidal phone calls she got were from Semiotics majors. I love playing with words and meanings and symbols.
from raven72d :
I used to fly everywhere. I had a couple of very rough flights in '96-'97...and flew back from Birmingham via Memphis in a driving thunderstorm after having a girl rip my heart out... And I'm now too afraid to fly. I feel every vibration, every air pocket, every shift in engine pitch... I can't board an aircraft. (And I'm afraid of humiliation by post-11 September 2001 security) I also don't drive over bridges or on elevated urban roadways. So I can't go visit anyone or go back to Europe fro research. Not that I can afford to fly anywhere...
from raven72d :
It's been years since I read "Left Hand", but...how does LeGuin refute the idea of Progress?
from raven72d :
The key song-- "Inner Universe" --is brilliant.
from kacklefight :
they said its quite possible that they were figments of my imagination, which flipped me out more
from raven72d :
AHA...exactly: all my fears and inadequacies in one place.
from raven72d :
I spent my time at Usual Suspects listening to the Hungarian and seeing how much of the language I remembered...and memorizing the speech about Keyser Soze's past and "Will" to use in class... So-- what comic book references?
from raven72d :
I worked vur' hard for my degrees. But I'm ashamed of them now: I didn't live up to them, and they didn't do anything but lay me open to accusations of failure and irrelevance. Only a complete fool tells anyone he has a postgraduate degree-- that's like a big "kick me" sign. I thought degrees would open a door to having a Life; they didn't. And all relationships are about social status and rank-hierarchy. I want a girl who will be lovely and clever-- thus establishing in the world's eyes that I deserve a lovely, clever girl...that I'm a male of some value...that I'm neither gay nor oedipally-challenged. What I believe about myself is irrelevant. It's only what the world sees me do or be that counts.
from sanetwin :
*gasp* I'm going to have to watch "the usual suspects" again and pay more attention. I didn't catch the references before.
from sanetwin :
I'm sorry about the toe. Are you hopping around everywhere?
from sanetwin :
It was very thoughtful of you to get gifts for the people who recommended you. I garuntee hardly anyone else does that! I bet it will make their day (s).
from raven72d :
Yay, AHA!
from sanetwin :
The sharing of the family skeletons. Why - don't you know that is a sign of acceptance? They've opened the closet up and invited you inside. They really only do that to initiate new family in :). I'm sure the family loved you!
from raven72d :
Breeding and pregnancy are...well, let's just say that having seen "Alien", I look at those things with an appalled eye. But "Miller's Crossing" is brilliant.
from sanetwin :
I wish I had spent my Christmas in p.j.s watching movies. Sigh.
from sanetwin :
Merry Christmas :)
from sanetwin :
Everyone has guilt about something. Don't let it become your only feeling about things. I've been told I have TOO much guilt. I blame myself for everything that goes wrong. I too need to pay for Diaryland services but man I'm poor! When they start charging for the service I will have to cry and say good-bye to my diary!! As to Amy/Jo. Why not apologise? Seriously. I bet it would really make her day. Have you ever seen "Billy Maddison"? That scene where Adam Sandler calls Steve Buscemi (sp?) to apologise for picking on him as a child and he takes him off his hit list? It's kind of like that. I mean, you never know what a difference it could make in someone's life. Just a thought.
from kacklefight :
i am often plagued by the idea that i am a terrible friend, and yes, it does shame me. but since ive done bad things (like walking away when a friend needed help) on different occasions, can we change it? or are we doomed to be this way until we die?
from raven72d :
I'm quite fond of Japrisot-- and both "One Dangerous Summer" and "Lady in the Car" are wonderful. Seattle sounds vur' David Lynch and vur' worth visiting...
from raven72d :
The US and UK governments fear alienating Cairo and Riyadh and Islamabad-- and provoking the domestic wrath of all the "multicultural" types by speaking the truth: the War on Terror is a war against radical Islam, against the idea of jihad, against the idea that law comes from a seventh-century God rather than from human legislation, and against the spread of Islamic culture to the civilized West. And I don't think it's poverty that breeds jihadis. The key terror recruits are often men with good educations and from middle-class backgrounds. What has to be broken is their ideology-- their fear of modernity. And the key believers must be destroyed-- and *seen* to be destroyed. A government should have the courage to say that the war we're in is one to make the world safe for liberal democracy in politics, free markets in economics, and individualism and secularism in outlook. And it should have the courage to say that the US and its allies will punish any government that announces itself as an enemy of those ideas.
from raven72d :
Why do you think capitalism depends on slave labor? And the "War on Terror" isn't futile if one realizes that it's mis-named: it's a war against radical Islamic and the spread of its ideology and culture. And a war well worth fighting.
from raven72d :
I've read it... And other books by Perez-Reverte... I even liked the film-- "the ninth gate"...
from sanetwin :
Target has these really awesome polka dot p.j.s. I want some. I love polka dots. Hey, don't remember to go to targe to get p.j.s and socks!
from wonderchai :
i used to dream my mother was selling me to a russian man to be his slave, essentially. i also dream frequently about being hit, causing me to whimper and thrash in my sleep. sar is the only person i've slept beside i don't kick :)
from sanetwin :
Wow - throat cutting spray? How would that work?
from raven72d :
A vur' beautiful-- and melancholy...and heartening --entry...
from raven72d :
I would never be friends with someone unattractive, so the problem of sex is always there.
from raven72d :
I stay up all night drinking chilled sake.
from kacklefight :
hopefully one day i can say thats the stupidest thing i ever did too
from raven72d :
I always sleep in a room filled with stufflings. They make excellent friends.
from raven72d :
One day I must introduce you to the game show "Wheel of Foucault", where Foucault ["ma belle Michel(le)"]'s bald head serves as the game wheel...
from sanetwin :
I'm glad you were able to spend time with Robert this past week. When Ryan and I were together, he was nearly a foot taller than I, yet we still fit well :)
from kacklefight :
glad to hear that, i havent been able to update in forever though, kept getting error page ><;
from raven72d :
Wuff! I love doing classical history... And I'm just glad that some book recommendations can be useful.
from sanetwin :
I just wanted to let you know (as sappy as it may seem) I am thankful for people like you in the world. You are going to do great things! And I can't wait to hear about them. Happy THanksgiving.
from sanetwin :
I love singing karaoke with friends. I only do so when completely blitzed, adn like you I will only sing along. I love your description of you and jerry as well :)
from kacklefight :
are you trying to tell me that you have ahorribly disfigured face? i have a hard time believing that somehow
from raven72d :
Thank'ee for the good wishes! Hmmm... *should* there ever be sun in Seattle?
from raven72d :
sunglasses? sunglasses?
from sanetwin :
My goodness, you do RULE!! That entry made ME beam with pride and accomplishment and I had nothing to do with it LOL. For some reason, it is reassuring to know someone else has the same insecurities as I do. Not many people do, or will admit to it. On a side note, I would love to have curls and reading about yours made me jealous!
from raven72d :
I really liked "Wolf's Rain"... And I always like Yoko Kanno.
from raven72d :
Confessing insecurities or failures or fears to an attractive girl means that you'll automatically be seen as less sexy. And I don't want anyone knowing anything about me or my life that I don't choose to reveal or craft for myself. I certainly don't want potentially do-able girls knowing anything from my past that I haven't crafted precisely for them.
from kacklefight :
dam right, there's always a radiohead song to fit your mood
from raven72d :
Myself, I'd like to know where the 60%/45% figures comes from and how "assault" is defined. What kinds of records or documentation is being used here? In Central America, in Indian villages, crying infants are quietened by having their genitals stroked or blown on. Does that count under the definition of assault? Have you read Fox's "Red Lamp of Incest"? [Loved the thoughts on Seattle and indoors life, by the way...]
from raven72d :
Does your thesis mention Philip Jose Farmer's 1950s story "Mother"? And "Angel Sanctuary" is fascinating...
from sanetwin :
Like you I'm fascinated with morbid things as well. I wrote my senior thesis on the role child abuse plays in shaping killers. I wrote another paper in college about how to commit the perfect murder.
from raven72d :
I think it's the idea of soymilk that's cute.
from sanetwin :
*blush* oops sorry!! I'm so jealous you met her. Was in the same restroom!
from mehiel :
Ahh, 'nii-chan isn't in love with me. :P He and I have known each other since the handful of days before our Honors classes together started. We have a deep understanding of one another. Love probably has something to do with that--what you miss out on in the diary are the two solid years of bickering. Only some kind of friendly love can help you get through that. But I've seen him "in love," and this isn't it. :P It's flattering that you would think so, Betty, but it's not true.
from raven72d :
Why wouldn't you drive yourself to perfection even if you had a...*shudder*...boyfriend? We're all of us only in romantic connections on spec; we can be dismissed at will.
from sanetwin :
p.s. I think Jerry is madly in love with you. Has he admitted it yet? Seriously, I do think so. He displays subtle and not so subtle signs of it all the time. who can blame him??!!
from sanetwin :
You are not an overachiever for wanting to keep up your appearance even though you have a boyfriend. I think its silly of girls to "let themselves go" once they have achieved coupledom. Looking good isn't about his satisfaction, it's for your own pleasure, it's to feel good for yourself.
from raven72d :
I can't decide whether to strive to become Ein or Pen-Pen...
from raven72d :
As you may have noted: you've been added to my favorites.
from raven72d :
Brilliant fashion show entry... Everyone should have a Faye Valentine girl in his/her life... And body-painting is...delicious.
from raven72d :
Tell me about how it's different from, say, NYC or L.A. or New Orleans goth sensibility...
from raven72d :
The Club Dumas... yes. Perez-Reverte is a delight. And tell me all about the Pacific Northwest Goth Sensibility...
from raven72d :
Thank goodness-- another reader of Sebastien Japrisot...
from kacklefight :
where is this erotica you write? i wanna read some! haha... no, seriously, i wanna read some
from raven72d :
I would always protect small stuffed beagles and basset hounds and corgis.
from raven72d :
Suddenly I hear And Also The Trees playing.... And I have dropped by your diary a few times in the Year Four... I'm glad to hear from you. And I hope you enjoy reading my entries. Please do read and comment. And I will be reading along with your own entries. (Great taste in books, by the way)
from raven72d :
I hope All Hallows Eve wasn't too paranoid in Seattle... And your entries are a delight.
from sanetwin :
your friends' house sounds wonderful. Although an ideal location to get scared out of your wits watching horror movies.
from sanetwin :
I love love love "harold and maude"!! The part where Maude is singing Cat Stevens' song "If you want to sing/sing out!!" I adore. You have the best taste in movies and television ;)!
from kacklefight :
you are very very very lucky to have someone to love, im glad you see that.
from kacklefight :
my usual loophole (golf) is something i cant really do right now cuz of my accident, so im searching and searching, but i cant find anything right now.
from sanetwin :
I think you will be a wonderful mom. And honestly I thought the homeless man singing was endearing and amusing. But horridly emberrassing as well. What fun!!!
from kacklefight :
well, i sorta just meant the west coast, im in cali which is unfortunately not where you are ;;
from threeletters :
Yeah, you too. (You can't go wrong either.) Thanks.
from sanetwin :
Oh my I laughed so hard at the toenails matching the yoga mat. Yes yes, that made MY day!
from kacklefight :
she feels like im not worth the time of day, so i have to forget everything about this girl that i love.
from kacklefight :
'long as the reagan years' nice
from sanetwin :
I, too, am the type of person that dominates class discussion. I am ever the person with the correct answer, or at least making a wager at it. I don't think it's a bad thing at all. It means that you are more agressive in your pursuit of knowledge.
from sanetwin :
AHH! Classic episodes of "Twillight Zone" I'm so jealous.
from kacklefight :
so you are returning to toronto then? this is a good thing, yes?
from kacklefight :
i think im finding out that this girl and i are less and less similar by the day. this surely is not a bad thing. when i say i dont see any evidence of a mutual love existing, im speaking for every relationship ive ever had, and every potential relationship. maybe this one could be different, if ... oh dear, its all so complicated
from kacklefight :
i want one where i can feel that both people have an awareness of being there, with each other, and they reciprocate emotions (not hate or even the more tender forms of 'liking'). im not sure if this is a pipe dream, because ive never had evidence to show that such a thing as mutual love exists for me.
from sanetwin :
Wow, this entry was touching about your ex coming to your house on his birthday with his fiance. how cruel of him and yet, it's almost like he's torturing himself by doing it. You're right about memory. You will always have that. You will have that with him and his mom and just for yourself. You have these memories and the jokes and those little thoughts that will bring him back to you.
from kacklefight :
indeed you are most right. too bad most people -just like with other forms of mass media like T.V.- use this place as a posting ground for tawdry photos (seriously, go look at a porn site if you need you fix) and rather pointless daily testimonies to the harshness of life (done by writing in such a dry manner that no desert could compare).
from kacklefight :
"Remember how this feels. Remember. Remember. Remember." So I sleep when I'm exhausted. I sleep when (s)he's gone and my dreams are all confusion. I want those shoulderblades to burrow between." ... this is so me right now, and its all so complicated, dammit
from kacklefight :
thank you. yeah, my old dog Oscar, he ran off one morning, and by the afternoon, i knew he had found a spot in the forest to die peacefully, it was really strange.
from kacklefight :
she has been panting beside my chair all night, she sounds like a broken bagpipe. im gonna say goodbye when the vet comes to put her down, i wanna be the last person she sees
from kacklefight :
hehe, yeah my style has changed a little bit. that first entry was... 2 years ago so its crazy. im glad that i have it all documented though. now to go back to your first entry. by the way, i love your entry about coming back on the plane, it made me laugh when you talked about the gay couple.
from wonderchai :
thank you *hugs*
from threeletters :
I may be sporadic, but i'm not on livejournal! Thanks for the compliment....and i apologize in advance for the times i'll disappoint.
from sanetwin :
OH. .. MY. . .GOD. You've seen Chuck Palahunik (forgive the misspelling).
from kacklefight :
your comment about muse reminds me of when i saw sigur ros for the first time. anestheti-gasm for sure
from kacklefight :
hehe, thanks? :p aww i am jealous that you have met chuck in person.... sigh
from himeros :
I still love reading your journal.
from himeros :
Thanks for reading my diary. Drop me a note sometime. Also you should get a notify list so regular readers can know when you update. Best wishes!!! H
from no-yes-maybe :
Great diary. I am glad I stopped in, I was just surfing and came across your diary. Its pretty cool!

back to mehiel's profile
recommend this diary to a pal?

Other diaries starting with the letter:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

Back to Diaryland

Recently updated
portlypete glorycloud retro-cat fatalbreath annanotbob2 nepenthean estar7 peachfront jimbostaxi catsoul strawberrri msafire saltego nueces raven72d hitch-hike linguafranca kenny-loo jim515 curious-me art-thug jrminor absurniverse ericg chucksosa gr8legs daath missmaggie03 browndamask simeons-twin
News
update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

Sign up for paid membership if you want!

Users online
portlypete linguafranca glorycloud retro-cat