messages to narcissa:
(click here to add new message):

from swordfern :
Thank you. I think the journalist did a great job. Later, in a round about way, she asked if we could be friends, which I'd love because we had a lot in common. I felt instant friend vibes as well. So there's that as well!! The interesting part that isn't included in that article is that my partner did not attend the award ceremony. The best moment of my career so far, and he wasn't there. I arrived home from that week to him having smashed in the bathroom door and not talking to me for 3 days. The dark side to the good stories reside just below the surface. Or maybe this is me channeling my energy into something *easier* than a relationship.
from dangerspouse :
I don't think someone is moving the rat. I think a mysterious plague is ravaging the rat community at a ferocious pace and you are seeing each time a different rat which has recently succumbed. The horror...the horror....
from dangerspouse :
I WANT THAT TACO SHIRT! :)
from swordfern :
I'm terribly happy to see an update from you like this. xoxo
from jenistar2 :
I thought everyone from “back then” was gone!!!! I see you have been in a terribly difficult place. I’m sorry ❤️
from joistmonkey :
Thanks for the nice comment about missing my lists :-) I miss the community aspect of diaryland but have enjoyed the challenge of keeping a written paper diary in 2018 too... is different inflicting my pointless ramblings on myself alone as opposed to folk online!
from kelsi :
I am sorry about the smidge and about the long break. It’s perfectly okay to stay inside for three days, or three weeks (but probably not three years), and it’s also perfectly okay to feel or not feel however you feel. Hang in there!
from linguafranca :
Much love to you, dear.
from orangepeeler :
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Take care.
from theshivers :
I wish I had something witty and profound to say--sorry for all the upheaval in your life. Here's hoping time brings perspective, good health and happiness.
from raven72d :
03 October 18 --- I hope things are going better for you.
from raven72d :
As I grow older, I appreciate sheets with some sky-high thread count more and more.
from raven72d :
Thank you. My young companion and I have booked a series of them. I'll be out of town four weekends in a row.
from linguafranca :
I’m thinking about you often. Difficult stuff.
from annanotbob2 :
Wow. Sending love x
from theshivers :
What a heavy week you've had and now this. I am sending you all the positive vibes and mentally casting a rock into the ocean for you.
from a-d-w :
that's a big entry, e hoa. sending you the good stuff.
from kelsi :
Well holy balls, batman! And I'm very sorry about your uncle and your advisor...
from raven72d :
I do try....!
from raven72d :
I'm notorious for having and packing spares.
from orangepeeler :
hope everything is okay now
from raven72d :
PEI =Prince Edward Island?
from kelsi :
Oh wow, I hope your dad is okay - that’s scary...
from swordfern :
I just ate some corn and thought of you. Safe travels, wherever you are at the moment.
from theshivers :
Thank you! Nothing's really happening/happened yet but finger's crossed and I appreciate the sweet note--it makes for a much-needed confidence boost xo
from alethia :
Thanks for checking in. I'm having a rough go of things right now. All my words are smashed together in my head and I can't make tails or heads of it. I keep trying to write but nothing is coming out. I'm still here reading though.
from raven72d :
I love the Mada entry.
from theshivers :
Thank you <3 Also, I really love your writing.
from linguafranca :
I know exactly what you mean. I had a boyfriend for 7 years who was alcoholic, and my brother was too of course. I’ve talked with my nephew a bit about what that’s like when it’s your parent, rather than sibling. Just, I hear you.
from raven72d :
Glad you liked the bitcoin image!
from raven72d :
22 May 18 --- are you on your way to Abyssinia?
from annanotbob2 :
So glad you got a ticket too! Sometimes I feel we do have to keep doing the stuff that 'ought' to make us feel okay even when it doesn't, because if we stop it will get even worse. And it usually picks up again. Hope it does for you soon x
from annanotbob2 :
*whispers* I have tickets to see him and Patti Smith on the same bill in June ...
from swordfern :
May 29: The part about carrying the stuff to the next relationship? I think our counsellors went to the same school. I'M struggling with what else to say. I can't imagine how hard it is to be in therapy working on the exit plan. D and I are constantly working on things. I'm not sure that either of us will ever be truly happy and fulfilled but that in itself is part of the mystery of life??? The worst joke, I feel so misled by movies/books/fairytales.
from annanotbob2 :
29/3 absolutely not - it is what it is and you feel what you feel. It is real loss, real grief. xx
from raven72d :
No paid sick days. I only found out this year that I could get paid for Christmas and New Years Day--- fifteen years working for the same firm, and they'd never told me that I could.
from swordfern :
May 28 - I linked to the article, in all its small town glory. At New Years I resolved to venture into selling my soap. I've already sold a fair amount and learned so much in the process. The whole thing is daunting and scary - there's a lot of vulnerability in selling something that you've created. But therein lies the reward. Thinking of you and what you're going through with BT. xoxo
from annanotbob2 :
Sending hugs in these hard times. xx
from orangepeeler :
2018-03-27- I hope that walk helped you x
from a-d-w :
i hope everything works out for you
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks - shocking, really shocking x
from linguafranca :
Safi sana. Uko wapi Kenya? Watu wanaongea Kiingereza zaidi kuliko katika Tanzania, siyo? Hata kwenye vijiji au mjini Kama Nairobi tu? I just like practicing my swahili, asante sana sana.
from linguafranca :
Furaha ya asubuhi. Nimefurahi kusoma juu ya Tanzania.
from kelsi :
Goddamn you have an interesting life. I’m sorry you’re heartbroken though.
from orangepeeler :
2018-03-05 - I hope your anxiety diminishes soon. xx
from annanotbob2 :
Aw thanks, I appreciate that. Sending hugs to you in Tanzania
from orangepeeler :
Thank you!!!
from alethia :
You always seem to particularly like the entries that feel the clumsiest to me. ;) Not that it's bad, or anything. It reminds me my own reality is not the same as someone else's. Glad you liked it. It's a weird feeling, isn't it?
from dangerspouse :
Hey, thanks very much for the note of condolence, kiddo. Meant a lot to me. I can't believe someone remembered the lemon entry, lol. And...hang in there. Hang in there.
from kelsi :
I’m sorry 😐
from dangerspouse :
Wow. Is Tori still recording?
from orangepeeler :
2018-02-07 - <3 Been feeling Tori Amos a lot these days.
from theshivers :
Thank you, I appreciate that. And I'm sorry to hear you are hurting; I hope things get better soon. Or at least less sucky.
from swordfern :
Jan 29 - Are you ok?
from orangepeeler :
thank you! xx
from annanotbob2 :
Jan 23, in response to yours on mine tho I posted it there too, just in case: I know - awful. There's one today about a little boy who hugged a girl and when she said she didn't want a hug, he let go. They're all off on what a marvel he is, what a great kid etc etc. Like, headline news, male doesn't force himself on female, read all about it. FFS x
from orangepeeler :
Good luck with the job search!
from raven72d :
Happy Year Eighteen!
from raven72d :
Sounds like a perfect dinner to me...
from swordfern :
Dec 6 - Everything is so strange right now. I'm sort of waiting for everything to go back to normal. I haven't had the space/time to write. Working just as much as ever, which is a shame because everyone else is up skiing in the morning. I don't know how they do it? I guess they aren't billing 45 hrs per week. But I get to live here, so that's pretty awesome despite not totally getting to have the ski bum lifestyle. I need some time off to really digest what has happened. I can't believe that your sister is only 2 months away. Seems like you just found out.
from swordfern :
I'm back at therapy too. This time just me, not couple's. The therapist loaned me a book that describes how Western psychotherapy practice of building and strengthening the ego is essentially backwards and that the real solution is to follow Buddhist methodology of accepting emptiness, clearing the mind, generally letting go. I'm not sure how this supports her business as a therapist but I liked that her approach was radically different from the lady I was seeing in Vancouver. The take away from this is that I've learned to try out different therapists to get alternate views on dealing with anxiety. By the way, the part where you talk about his hand on your back... I need that right now. It's so perfect. I could live forever with someone's hand on my back in bed. xoxo
from raven72d :
Import it! Cook both! But just make sure the gravy on the cornbread dressing is thick and seasoned and dark. Gravy outside the Deepest South tends to be...well...brown water.
from narcissa :
actively drooling. I could eat stuffing any day any time, so i will take both groups please! just none of stovetop nonsense. Neither oyster stuffing nor cornbread stuffing are a thing up north, but you're making me wonder if that's just got to be something i import.
from raven72d :
The world is divided into two groups--- cornbread dressing and oyster stuffing. I've had oyster stuffing and enjoyed it, but I'm a cornbread dressing with dark, seasoned, rich gravy fan...always.
from raven72d :
Oh, yes--- my family always did turkey gumbo after Thanksgiving and then one day of leftover slices. Saturday and Sunday after Turkey Day? Turkey gumbo!
from raven72d :
Ethiopia is one the key places in Africa that I'd like to see.
from raven72d :
How is life in Addis?
from swordfern :
Africa is not always hot?!?! Ugh... I will never again laugh when someone assumes us Canadians all live in igloos. :/
from annanotbob2 :
Just saying hi and imagining the city... xx
from theshivers :
Thank you for the kind note <3
from swordfern :
Oct 24 - I'm meeting with an employment lawyer this afternoon to talk about the details of my remote work agreement. This made me think of you and B's struggle to be able to live and work in the same city and both be fulfilled. And then the realization that I'm at a point in life where I need legal advice, and that you would totally get how strangely adult it is to be in a position to pay for a lawyer. Which actually seems cheap in comparison to counselling? Anyhow, we move on the weekend!!!!!! xoxo
from theshivers :
I love that book so much but it's been years since I read it. Time for a return, perhaps.
from dangerspouse :
Hey, thanks for the notes, kid. I knew you'd never leave me ;) Oooo, three kinds of pie!! Woot! I'm very impressed.
from annanotbob2 :
Glad you're home safe - how awful, awful, awful x
from orangepeeler :
re 2017-09-10: Holy shit! Sorry you had to go through that. Glad you're safe
from patheticness :
Thanks so much for your note, I have to catch up on "you" soon now btw....:)
from kelsi :
Dang dude, stalker guy sounds really sketchy and scary! And yeah, infuriating that some fuckknob thinks he has the right to inject himself in your life like that. Glad you made it inside safe! Other than that it sounds like a perfectly lovely day. :)
from raven72d :
One day I shall coax you into sending postcards from Africa and the Indian Ocean. I haven't had foreign stamps arriving in far too long.
from raven72d :
It's not...awful...in the Solo cup. It lacks aesthetic charm and the heft of a copper mug in one's hand, but it's not...awful.
from orangepeeler :
Thank you! I read 'Bird by Bird' years ago, but that you for reminding me of it. I'll keep it in mind these last few weeks. It's raininjg alot these days, so I don't feel the urge to wander... for now, eep!
from raven72d :
Exactly.
from annanotbob2 :
Ooh, Portishead, I'd forgotten them, off to find Glory Box right now.
from raven72d :
At least you're in a place with lemurs!
from raven72d :
Glad to know you're still out there in the Far Foreign and still reading!
from patheticness :
Hi, I've been meaning to thank you for your kind note, so just doing that now.:)
from alethia :
Hey, you're in my town!
from patheticness :
I liked your entry. I used to know to feeling, to an extent. I used to long to have a settled life with kids and everyone else around me, friends much younger then me who were not ready were having them. At the time I was in an unhappy marraige that I eluded myself for years that it was happy and fine. At the time we had trouble concieving and he never really was that "into it." At the time I thought I had my dream and I lost it. I was 34 when I finally met J and everything happened so fast and at once. Some will say too fast but it wasn't for us. Within the next year I was pregnant, we bought a house, were married and here I be, 14 years and 2 kids later, 3 including my step daughter. I was 35 when I had my first son and just turned 39 a week before I had my second son. I guess what I'm saying is I can relate and it will happen for you one day and you will look back and remember when you thought it never would. I loved the ending of your entry to most.;) Congrats you will be an aunt and you will be so loved by that child, near or far! Sorry for the sappiness lol
from raven72d :
I know! I loved reading Sitemeter and trying to see if I could figure out who was who, and who was reading me where!
from kelsi :
You'll get a new temporary best friend occasionally at races but not often. The tougher the conditions, though, the higher the likelihood - so sign up for a 5K when the forecast is terrible! Or better yet a 50 miler!
from annanotbob2 :
I am amazed that anyone manages to actually choose to get pregnant. all of mine were what I learned to call 'surprises' and that seems like the only way, for things to fall as they do. I think your feeling of joy speaks volumes - so much more when there's a real little person. Thank you for your notes to me, so kind. That article was really good - I almost posted it on FB but thought best not in the end. xxx
from raven72d :
The drunk texts were the usual: professions of...ummm...romantic admiration and longing. My real fear is that they went to the wrong numbers.
from raven72d :
Hah! And how is life in Madagascar? What are you up to there?
from swordfern :
This is so hard. You calling him and reaching out to him - that is a really important thing and is a way for you to be with him. And for him to know that you're there for him. I don't think that you're a buzzkill... but you asking him about drinking vs stroke probably brings up feelings of shame, and that tends to close people up a lot. xoxo
from patheticness :
Thank you for your note.:)Yes, losing my mom was one of my biggest losses, if not the biggest. Thanks again
from patheticness :
Ah ok, sorry to misunderstand your entries. :)
from annanotbob2 :
Oh I wish I lived alone - though I probably wouldn't like it just now. I haven't forgotten the paintings but I'm still doing YD's birthday, so soon. Yay for peace and sorting things out x
from patheticness :
Your entry reminded me of when I was single between my last loser boyfriend and my current husband and was finally able to enjoy my own company and realize it was better to be single and enjoy myself then to be with someone just for the sake of having their company. You go girl!
from raven72d :
Very good!
from raven72d :
Save the vodka for later, eat the olive anytime.
from raven72d :
Dry vermouth.
from raven72d :
It's always awkward when a house party has no energy or appeal... But it does happen.
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks - I was already down there, found my phone, saw that it hadn't smashed and well, had to take the pic after all that! Hope you are well, buddy xx
from dangerspouse :
Thank you very much. Really.
from raven72d :
Ummm....drank too much, embarrassed myself. No bar fight, no dancing on bar top, just...pouring out TMI stories. And making out just outside the main window with a woman who was a friend of the owner and his wife. Just can't go back. Far too embarrassed. Ditto the hipster café bar.
from patheticness :
supersue3@hotmail.com Thanks!
from raven72d :
Good thought! Wild Turkey! Yes!
from patheticness :
Got your note. Thank you. Can you give out your email in the notes section, yours or mine? Or do you need mine? Then I can email you my password. Thanks!
from annanotbob2 :
Y and ay for walking and keeping going. Hugs xx
from patheticness :
Hi, I'm searching for new readers and some old friends. Only have one reader since I've password locked and it shouldn't matter but I'm lonely here and looking for words of wisdom from others who may feel same ways as I do. Your profile caught my attention. If you are interested in reading me, let me know, give me your email in my notes or something and I can email the password to you. Thanks! I may just lurk at your diary on occasion if ok with you?
from dangerspouse :
Wow, a brass band popping up unexpectedly at a new place! Glad you got a dose of that again. Now to work on getting friends! (Hint: stop binge watching Netflix, lol...) Hey, thanks for the note at my place. Hope you get that water heater :)
from raven72d :
Not boring at all. And tea/bourbon is usually a good late-night thing.
from raven72d :
I'd love to see that table photo.
from dangerspouse :
The magic powers of Snickers Bars knows no limits! Lol...glad it worked for you :) And speaking as a one time devout Catholic, now an atheist: the answer is "no".
from for-you-only :
3/9/2017: On your Opera entry . . . Whew! That's how I felt watching Pan's Labyrinth. I thought I was sitting down to an easy-going movie, not a horror flick! Animation has gotten a lot more graphic in the last decade. The movie reminded me why I swore off of movies nearly ten years ago now.
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks for your notes xx I love Nick Cave's new album. He lives a couple of miles from here though I never see him xxx
from raven72d :
Thanks much--- kind thoughts appreciated.
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for your note about the Women's March. I'm glad you liked it (it was the bra tree picture, right?). Too bad you didn't know my wife was going beforehand. You could have just stood in the middle of the crowd and screamed "Yo! NEWWIFEY(TM)! OVER HERE!!" and she would have heard you and you could have spent the rest of the day complaining about me. Oh well. Next rally.
from raven72d :
Bourbon made in....PHILLY? That's...appalling and scary!
from annanotbob2 :
xxx
from dangerspouse :
I'm so proud of you for going to the march!! (Did you read my entry about my wife going? You could have met her!) Wow, that really is awesome. And heartening that so MANY went. Let's hope it leads to something now. Like not dropping your bike key in the future ;)
from raven72d :
Go, go, and acquire some good bourbon!
from dangerspouse :
I'm glad you're enjoying NYC. I've spent all my life in and around the City, and it's still thrilling to me. Now go down another growler and go on an adventure!
from theshivers :
Happy belated birthday--I hope your dad is doing better.
from annanotbob2 :
Dec 23rd - only just seen yesterday - thinking of you and your dad and sending love xxx
from swordfern :
Dec 22 - Thinking of you. Hope your Dad is OK.
from raven72d :
Feel better! Happy Holidays!
from annanotbob2 :
Oh! If it hadn't been now I'd have found a way but ED has her operation tomorrow so my head is full of that, but next time you're here, we will walk on that beach! x
from annanotbob2 :
Mm a picture would be nice - bet the image I've conjured is dead wrong. But I wouldn't be giving money to d'land - it feels abandoned now x
from annanotbob2 :
26/11 Yay for Patti. I remember when I left teaching - took me ages to get used to not having too much to do.
from raven72d :
All of Africa scares me except Morocco and the Skeleton Coast. But where will you be next?
from swordfern :
Nov 23 - It was cloudy... no Northern Lights :((((
from raven72d :
It was a great feeling--- exhilarating.
from raven72d :
2016 has been an awful year. The worst. (But--- did you get your PhD? Did I miss that?)
from swordfern :
Yes, holding onto that feeling of lightness. Of success. You deserve it, you've worked so hard. Congratulations, from my whole heart. I wish that BT would drive to be there for you - this is your moment. It's sad that he cannot see that. I get that it's a long drive, and I get that he resents how your work has taken you away from him. But this is your time to celebrate. I hope that he changes his mind.
from dangerspouse :
CONGRATULATIONS D0CTOR NARCISSA!! Wow, that really is very, very impressive. I hope it leads to wonderful thing for you. And...I hope things work out for the best with BT, also.
from dangerspouse :
Good plan. Add ice cream, though.
from annanotbob2 :
Yay for Dr Narcissa and head in sand about everything else x
from dangerspouse :
You nailed it. We're living a nightmare now. If only we could wake up....
from swordfern :
Oct 31 - Sending all of the good thoughts your way. You've got this!!!
from annanotbob2 :
19/10/16 Congratulations! You may not feel it but you have earned congratulating! xx
from dangerspouse :
Thanks! Next time I make some I'll drop you a note here, and you can come join me :)
from a-d-w :
good luck, you got this
from ladyofjazz :
20/09/16 Good luck with your move, starting a new life again...It is a drag but also exciting.
from annanotbob2 :
xxx
from dangerspouse :
Way to go, bike mechanic! I'm jealous - my only talent these days, as you read, is photo realistic owl anatomy. Oh well. Chicks seem to dig it (badum-bum!). Thanks for the notes! BTW, what kind of bike do you have?
from raven72d :
I've become ashamed of my car and afraid to drive any distance. And there's no point in going anywhere alone. That marks you as a failure.
from dangerspouse :
That poor lady. One of my wife's friends is married to a hoarder and it's a real nightmare. I hope your neighbor can find help if she needs it. And I hope your therapy sessions are producing results for you. Now stop reading this and go fix that bike!
from swordfern :
Aug 12 - Therapy, $$, yup. Our longest sessions are 1.5 hrs ($200)... you are tough to endure 3 hrs! It gets worse before it gets better, apparently, at least in our situation. I hope we hit rock bottom last week. He read my diary (here) and I found him catatonic in the bedroom when I came home from work. It was bad. Really bad. But in the end, it's going to be good. Because now he knows everything, and we are working with our counsellor to work through things. Essentially all of the things that I have been feeling about Chris are the things that I am missing from D and that I need to tell him that and work towards having those needs met. SO HARD. Sending you piles of gorgeous flowers and a million words of encouragement. Relationships are the hardest goddamn thing in the world. xoxo
from dangerspouse :
Thank you so much for the nice note, Narcissa! That was very sweet of you to say :)
from swordfern :
june 30 - Yes, yes, yes. You somehow got inside my head. Lately we've had the lowest of lows followed by the highest of highs. Steps back and steps forward. It's so hard to stay vulnerable after so many years.
from raven72d :
I'm usually terrified of any geographic area that's humid, hot, and green. Comes from too much growing up in the Deepest South.
from swordfern :
June 23 - Ugh, I haven't had time to update. Counselling session yesterday helped bring us back together a bit. Still feeling disconnected. He's not stretching himself enough most of the time. I know that's blaming, but it's true. I tell him my feelings, leaving myself feeling raw and exposed, physically shaking with fear, and he doesn't know what to do. He does not know how to empathize. Which is funny because the premise of why we went to counselling in the first place was that he told me that I had no ability to empathize. I've learned. And I've also learned that he doesn't empathize with me, ever. I tell him my feelings and he replies, "Oh, don't feel like that. You're misinterpreting this situation." friiggggggg
from raven72d :
And what brings you to Kampala? (I remain terrified of most places in Africa other than Morocco and Walvis Bay)
from raven72d :
Hmmm... I keep hoping for legions of fans at the supermodel cloning farms near Novorossisk...
from raven72d :
Addis? Were you on your way to Kampala? I do keep getting someone in Kampala reading me...
from raven72d :
Good beer advice! Thanks!
from alethia :
People always tell me I'm brave, but I was totally and completely terrified the whole time. I just told me feet to do things and ignore my brain, so they did. I felt completely insane, and so very, very lucky it worked out.
from swordfern :
June 14th - Thinking of you....
from swordfern :
Wow.... so much happening... dream job... relationship stress... I hope you're doing OK. By the way, I loved the entry describing your weekend. Magical.
from dangerspouse :
;)
from dangerspouse :
Ok then. In that case we can still hook up. Wise choice.
from dangerspouse :
What an opus! I nearly finished my entire FRESH GULF SHRIMP WRAP WITH HOT SAUCE, DRESSED by the time I got to the end. That's 4 feet of wrapped crustacean! Oh...and don't do heroin. As seductive as I'm sure a woman sitting on the toilet cutting off the blood flow to her arm so she can stick a dirty needle in it must have looked to you. Go have more pizza instead. Sheesh. Kids today....
from annanotbob2 :
Oh I loved reading this entry! June6th I could feel the heat, I was there! XX
from dangerspouse :
Dammit! I WANT A SHRIMP WRAP!!
from dangerspouse :
Is this the same Canal Street that I sometimes frequent in Lower Manhattan? If so...WHERE IS THIS NEW SHRIMP WRAP PLACE?!
from raven72d :
I will have to look into it, then.
from dangerspouse :
I'm sure your hair still would have looked amazing even if you'd arrived sweaty and on a bike. Girls are magical that way. That was a sweet, wistful entry - glad you had a good time :)
from raven72d :
You should write more. And...after 14 years here, this is where I feel at home--- telling stories, thinking aloud, meeting friends, feeling part of something.
from dangerspouse :
Yes you DO need to write more! Recriminations are much better done online, here, for all to point at and mock. Yay, blogging! And thanks for the well wishes for my poor elbow. You cheered it immensely :)
from dangerspouse :
Sooooo....are we dealing with bitter recriminations this morning? And was the beer good enough that it was at least worth it?
from raven72d :
It may be from Baudelaire. But I love it, too.
from annanotbob2 :
Mmn, that reminded me of being on the back of a motorbike in Venezuela, no helmet, wearing shorts, up the mountains in the warm wind... lovely xxx
from swordfern :
Ugh, big decisions. The job sounds like a perfect fit. But... Mtl and BT. :(
from raven72d :
Chargrilled oysters and good whisky always help.
from annanotbob2 :
Yay! Good for you! Raising a glass! x
from raven72d :
So--- spring/summer plans?
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks - I'm gonna write now xxxx
from swordfern :
thanks for the xox. i cried when i read it.
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks xx
from dangerspouse :
Not ICP?
from annanotbob2 :
I have glue-gun envy xx
from a-d-w :
there definitely wasn't one of those here. i can't even find the special rolling stone edition. i would have loved that starman experience. closest i got was a guy giving me thumbs up when i drove past him while i was playing five years. that sounds like great comfort food.
from raven72d :
Barkus has been around for a while. But every city needs a doggie Mardi Gras. Just as Phoenix has the Wiener Dog Olympics.
from annanotbob2 :
Thank you - meant a lot xx
from raven72d :
Thank you, too! And whiskey is always a good idea!
from raven72d :
Welcome to the Year Sixteen... And I am glad you're still out there writing.
from annanotbob2 :
chills reading about it too xxx
from a-d-w :
yes. and yet there is also an insidious need to validate my grief at the same time. which i am loathe to do. the most i can do by way of explaining it is to say this is the first time in my life i have actively avoided anything bowie related. tv and radio off. i hope you come through it.
from annanotbob2 :
Hope today is better. xx
from swordfern :
Ugh, I know, total nightmare. Thankfully nobody has mentioned it yet at work this morning. Thanks for being around - I appreciate your notes so much. And I will miss your stories of nola when you eventually move back north. Your descriptions of the city are rich and thoughtful, and I want to go there to ride my bike around your neighbourhood to see/smell/hear what you describe. What an incredible experience, to have lived there and gotten to know such a vibrant city.
from annanotbob2 :
Cheers, matey. Yay for great hair! xx
from a-d-w :
well i like your stories. i can't get you to uganda, though. here, we call cilantro coriander. cool story huh
from dangerspouse :
Try telling your stories topless. Guys tend to pay attention when presented with that, I've noticed. Although to be fair, I haven't found that to be the case so much when I try it myself....
from raven72d :
And spiffy little guys the Raccoons are!
from dangerspouse :
Knowing one is not about to be drummed out of the country must be reassuring indeed. On the other hand, I understand "refugee status" is all the rage with kids today. Good luck with the juggling of decisions!
from annanotbob2 :
It does sound interesting - I've never received a d'land email, just checked and it wasn't turned on. It is now. xxx
from annanotbob2 :
I know it's not the thing to ask questions but I'm dead interested in what your dissertation is about... Douglas Adams used to have to do that hotel room thing to write the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sequels, so you're in good company. xxx
from dangerspouse :
LOL! You go, alkie!
from dangerspouse :
You know, if you try just a *little* bit harder you could twist that knife even more painfully. At least tell me it wasn't a Dixie beer.
from dangerspouse :
Congrats of finally being Home!! I wish you nothing but the best there. (And mail me a muffalatta from Central Grocery when ya get a chance, willya? Thanks, babe.) :)
from dangerspouse :
I love going to concerts by myself! We'll have to go by ourselves together one of these days. ;)
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks for your lovely note - so nice to meet you - I read back as far as May and will read more when I'm not so knackered - best wishes and hugs xx
from a-d-w :
inching is better than hanging out on the edge nervously, innit?
from dangerspouse :
Aww, thanks very much for the sweet and concerned sounding note. It was much appreciated - especially since things are no doubt rather hectic on your end what with the move and all. You rock, kiddo :)
from dangerspouse :
WAHHHH! TAKE ME TO PARIS WITH YOU IF HE WON'T GO! I promise not to eat your foi gras. Maybe.
from orangepeeler :
Oooof! Good luck on negotiating the labyrinth!
from dangerspouse :
Holy hallucinations, Khatman! That was some article. Yeah, it's definitely going to Dad...who will no doubt be tempted to head there and get behind the controls of a DC-3 that hasn't had an annual inspection since TWA released it from service. Thanks for the link!!
from dangerspouse :
Thank you very much for the sweet note you left me about my dog. It was very much appreciated. (And I'm in awe of your latest entry. What a fascinating life you live! I hope you don't mind, but I'm cutting-n-pasting your story and sending it to my dad, who is an avid sport flyer. Rock on, Cap'n.)
from raven72d :
I've never forgiven Mozambique for changing the Portuguese name of the capital city. As far as I'm concerned, it'll always and ever be Loureno Marques.
from raven72d :
Well, I hope Burundi goes well...
from raven72d :
Burundi? Why? Not your ordinary tourist stop.
from a-d-w :
yes, i am waiting for the puns but i am sure they will happen. i want a beer too.
from raven72d :
Loved the Covington Strawberry. The South Coast, too. I'm okay with the La. 31, and I want to try more of the Tin Roof varieties. And a shrimp lo-boy sounds great.
from swordfern :
Hahhah... currently still at work at 8pm, and I started today at 8am. This is the downside of consulting. The upside is that there is company supplied beer and brie in the fridge.
from raven72d :
cognac? yes!
from raven72d :
Congrats on the prospectus defense, by the way.
from raven72d :
Reading Percy while drinking Dixie on the stoop? Sounds like a great Sunday morning to me!
from dangerspouse :
Yes. Yes she is. Thanks for noticing. (And good luck on your dream's prospectus defense!) :)
from raven72d :
Grad students weren't treated badly where I was, though I do favour unions for them... Adjuncts, though--- another story. But I miss the feeling of connecting with classes--- and the satisfaction of doing something I know I do well.
from raven72d :
I know, I know... But I really miss the actual lecturing--- telling stories, getting students to be interested in History...
from raven72d :
I really need adjunct classes again!
from dangerspouse :
Lol. I know, right? Such a waste of godlike talent. Still, anything more and it's pearls before swine (sometimes literally - we throw a signal out into the farmlands north and west of the City). BTW, I watched that very same World Cup game with a mostly Hispanic crew. There was no doubt at all in their collective minds that the Surez deserved sainthood. Go figure.
from swordfern :
"...so much going on" is so true. I read your note when I was in the thick of it and didn't really see what you were saying, but now that I've pulled out of it I know that you're right.
from dangerspouse :
Have a safe trip! Don't fall in with any rebels.
from raven72d :
I think I'll be having a good martini tonight.
from raven72d :
Definitely invest in a good flask. And Wild Turkey Rye is always worth a try.
from raven72d :
ah, now--- a favourite brand of bourbon?
from raven72d :
Actually, rather an interesting topic. Very much so. Of course--- mimosas do trump it, but they trump pretty much everything. Serious good luck on the dissertation!
from raven72d :
when's your defense scheduled? what's the topic?
from raven72d :
How's life this Easter time?
from raven72d :
Oh, it's a thing--- very good, actually. I mostly eyeball the mix, but... maybe an OJ : Pimm's ratio of 4:1...or 3:1 for afternoons when required.
from raven72d :
Pimms and o.j. for me, but the principle is the same...
from raven72d :
Allergies... I spend days with my eyes streaming. But at least my sinuses haven't gone berserk yet.
from raven72d :
Sounds exactly like spring here!
from raven72d :
How is spring beginning?
from raven72d :
Herr Herzog has his alternative voice out there on the aether...and he's always correct.
from raven72d :
Thank you for the link! I'll go take a look... I'm always a major Herzog fan!
from swordfern :
Hmm.. thanks for the honest info! Nobody ever talks about these things, but I know that other people's relationships can't be perfect. So far, after two sessions, we are already seeing some change. It's hard to change the way that we interact, but we are both committed to trying. I truly want to fix this, and $200/session is bank-breaking, but if this is my life partner here, then it's worth every penny. And I'm realizing that I also have unresolved issues that could use some work outside of the couple's therapy.
from dangerspouse :
Thank you so much for the nice note! I'm glad you liked it :)
from a-d-w :
*high five* here's to that last entry (and also mid-00s net-action-speak)
from dangerspouse :
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
from raven72d :
That does sound like Ms. Miller did okay for herself.
from dangerspouse :
Thanks for the note - I'm glad you like the corgi! (Getting him to sit still for the pic was a bitch.) Oh, and the eggs, too :)
from dangerspouse :
Don't be sad. Have another beer. "The cause of, and answer to, all of Man's problems" as some wise cartoon sage once said. Besides, it's gotta be like 5:30 now, right? That's respectable.
from dangerspouse :
3:30 AM or PM?
from raven72d :
Just doing my bit.
from raven72d :
I've lived here in this flat for 5 years now. I sometimes miss the days of living out of suitcases, but I'm not sure I could do it again. Too much stuff to either store or carry, and lots of it can't just be ditched.
from raven72d :
How was the return to NOLA?
from raven72d :
I do know that feeling!
from raven72d :
I read French reasonably well, but I've lost the ability to speak it. Same with German. I have to get those things back.
from raven72d :
Talking to strangers in French?
from raven72d :
Left originally for school in New England, then in and out for jobs and postgrad. But I do know what you mean. The city marks you as much as, say, NYC does. And you do always miss the ambience and the food and the attitudes.
from raven72d :
Born there, darlin'! At Charity Hospital on a November morning in the Far Long Ago. Haven't been back for a while, but I'm a Deepest South kid.
from raven72d :
You're in NOLA? I know all about summers there--- Burmese heat until early October.
from raven72d :
glad to be of help!
from dangerspouse :
OATMEAL CHOCOLATE COOKIES!!! I know there was something else in there, but that's all I can think of now. Thanks.
from sduckie :
Yes. For me it is exciting to create so much space in my life... I really want things to be different! Thanks for your support :D
from raven72d :
Ethiopia is place I'd like to see.
from raven72d :
Herds of camels... always a wonderful sight.
from raven72d :
Abyssinia? What takes you to the Horn of Africa?
from raven72d :
Montreal! I do envy you Montreal!
from swordfern :
Ack...! Hang in there missy!!!!!!!!! No Officer Down on repeat!
from raven72d :
I always look forward to autumn here--- any relief from the heat.
from raven72d :
I hope the end of summer goes well for you.
from raven72d :
Loved your description of the skies and of being outdoors...
from a-d-w :
got sorta the same problem with the forcing myself out of the house AND not to drink so much. in that the only times i leave the house seems to be to have a drink somewhere. just crawled out of a book into diaryland, after leaving this note i am gonna scramble right back into it. dl obviously attracts a certain kind of people. still.
from marn :
I saw her on the news, too. Just amazing what people can do. Clara Hughes (the Olympic cyclist/skater) is in our village right now doing her final training for the London Olympics. She is scary fit. I've passed her charging up a really steep grade on our local highway that makes my *car* chug. There are some inspiring women out there, eh?
from sduckie :
I probably would have said chain of twitters.
from raven72d :
go ahead and re-post at FB. don't be afraid to do that. or to re-tweet. i always pass along tweets that are clever or powerful or just informative and cool.
from swordfern :
I like how we're both allowing ourselves to admit that home is home :)
from raven72d :
I love showing people from out of state drive-thru daiquiri places. No one quite believes it.
from raven72d :
southern Louisiana...where there are drive-thru daiquiri shops... (I like my frozen daiquiris in Red Sin)
from raven72d :
Definitely reading along.
from raven72d :
lovely writing.
from swordfern :
Hahahaha is that a joke? Sounds like something from CBC's "This is That"!
from joistmonkey :
Hello. Sorry about the iffy fish. Thank you for the add, however - have had a wee read of your beautiful stuff, rather nice, whatsay :-)
from a-d-w :
your crumb story makes me delirious with happiness!
from swordfern :
Sorry... I had a bad weekend. Massive self-pity mad-at-the-world entry that nobody needs to read. Thanks for checking in. Will unlock and update later with something more constructive. :(
from ramanda :
Tribal bellydance? Good grief!! I'm with you on that. Also, hello! How are you? It's been a while :)
from swordfern :
Thanks. It means a lot to me to hear that. If I can make beautiful things, than maybe I can make my life beautiful? I like how you're updating regularly again, and I like how honest you always are. And I liked how you wrote about the car/bike struggle - something in that really resonated with me... how simple seemingly inconsequential decisions can become so large and... I don't know. Your life IS beautiful, though, and you are wholehearted - something that I heard a psychologist talking about on the CBC as the most important aspect of living.
from linguafranca :
Thanks for the recipe lead! I'll try it.
from sduckie :
I wonder if it's always like that with "home". I feel very nostalgic too when I go visit.
from killsoft :
you should read The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. i think you'd get a lot out of it. (seriously) rational self interest is not always narcissism.
from mechaieh :
Ohhh. That anecdote about your father. Hope this finds you well!
from unresolved :
welcome back to the internet ;) hunting / rabbits
from mechaieh :
Ethiopia? Wow. Hope your travels are treating you well. Blessings and strength.
from greenplastic :
hi there. sorry i only just saw i had a note. the password is 'now'. there's not a lot there. cheerio.
from sduckie :
You are an inspiration!
from sduckie :
Hmm... also you probably know about cutting out sugar and dairy, and taking acidophilus? "Friendly" Bacteria, yum... hope it's better at any rate!
from sduckie :
What once worked for me: a couple drops of tea-tree oil in a homemade water douche. And a friend once told me to thread a clove of garlic like a tampon using a tapestry needle and dental floss, and put it... you know where. I opted to just rub a clove of garlic right on my private parts. Hope this isn't TMI... but... you asked! Thanks for the link to that entry, I find it right on, as I hate boys who text and don't call. To me it's the coward's way out. Be well and hope you are back in balance real soon!
from sduckie :
All the experiences that you are having are preparing you for the next thing... (People used to tell me that when I was younger, and I didn't understand. I get it now, and it's true... the work I do in my life, and why I do it well, is because of all the experiences and adventures I had the courage to have when I was younger). Believe it. Don't worry about what you are "supposed" to do- follow your heart. And when it is time to do something else, whether that be settle down, or go on the next adventure, you'll know. You'll know so deep in your bones that you'll just do it. It might be that you're not in that stage yet so you don't know what that feels like or even doubt that you'll ever have that sensation. But you will. You'll know. Best wishes, Duck
from sduckie :
If you go to Ethiopia, it might re-awaken that part of your soul. A thought. Take care...
from ramanda :
Oh *hugs* I remember those days. I'm too old for that now! I think I might die if I had to come to work hungover. Too hard!
from ramanda :
I'm so sorry about your uncle.
from suckledhoney :
Hey, good luck.
from sduckie :
This entry seems very honest itself... to admit what you did... I used to have a paper journal that I just felt my boyfriend would read so I never wrote in my true voice... that was bad! Anyway, just sending some support.
from innocentspy :
if past was so easy to forget, I believe no person wud ve even bothered to write diary because then he wud know that this past will have no reflection on tomorrow. Those are able to overcome their past are heroes but who move forward in light of past are exceptional.
from ramanda :
Does it work? Do you manage to talk yourself into doing something? I have the same problem. I sometimes spend entire weekends in the same clothes. Drifting from room to room. Watching TV. Reading. Smoking. Not answering the phone. Inertia is a bitch.
from jessrawk :
Hey stranger. Found your diary again for the first time in.... er... years, obviously. Just thought I'd pop round and say 'hello.' You always were a favourite for a reason. xo.
from peasantwench :
Hey. I didn't actually password protect myself as hide away the early entries that embarrass me now. Feel of them being found now, 5 years later. So now I write at http://peasantwench.blogspot.com - not password protected, though not updated as frequently, either...
from greenplastic :
hey it's lisa. got your note. the diary is over. i'm going to delete it all when i figure how to do so easily. i've started another but it's not really the same. an attempt at process rather than 'feelings'. it's at greenplastic... the user name is the same as before, the pw 'now'. cheerio.
from ncss :
I'll miss your updates!
from ncss :
absolutely you are a good person and deserve to be happy!
from raven72d :
I just randomly found your entries... And I do love the writing.
from cera-jeanne :
i hope you find the happiness you are looking for.
from ramanda :
Hi! Yes! Here! Me! I still read my buddylist religiously, but my own muddled attempts are now here: http:elusivebalance.com/blog Come visit :)
from ramanda :
I read "He's Just Not that Into You" and I felt like a tool the entire time because it was all so very self-help. But the book is smart and funny and it reminds you (in a playful way) that you are a lovely person and you do not need to settle for less. It's good stuff. Reading that book actually convinced me to break up with my last boyfriend. I think it's actually pretty ingenoious. Most women would never read an earnest book called "Love Yourself" or "Don't Settle for Less" so they put a sarcastic spin on it and voila! Instant hit. And power to them, cos it's a good message to be spreading.
from orgami :
mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of thee all Hey Narcissis why yah crying?? (crying because of my beauty there in the pool) North American culture is inheritently motivated around the self I ME not WE our Grand Egos shine like beacons feed me feed me oh great masses ....
from peasantwench :
"Do we create drama to escape from the humdrum of daily life?" Yes. I really think we do...
from candoor :
yes, anyone who quotes from Princess Bride just had to be visited :)
from f-i-n :
we all need a little princess bride
from snow666white :
wow...awesome entry...some excellent choice of quotes....i too am a fan of Rilke. :)
from raven72d :
Congrats on Tulane! And hold on to the dream of working abroad...
from itsmylife :
Love the new layout. Purdy.
from raven72d :
What a lovely diary! And cool camels!
from fancyass :
good to hear from you! I'm doing okay. My life has become sorta messy but I just stay busy and hope it blows over. I know - not the best way to deal with it....you did get the password I emailed to you, right?
from jennyj :
Boo I am so sad to have missed you, although I am glad you got to have a good fry up, incl fried slice and bubble. Just wish I could have been eating it with you. Enjoy Paris - have you been to Marianne's in the Marais?
from anibananie :
Woo, India! I was there a month ago on a school exchange. I stayed at a girls' boarding school and then in Delhi. It was cool - we saw the Taj! ANYway, what I came here to say was INDIA, WOO!
from fancyass :
I'm guessing it's your bday by the notes but maybe they are old...i haven't read your diary in a couple of weeks...better go check! anyway,....I've moved. Though I am pretty sad that I left diaryland...I think it was best for me to write somewhere else for now. fancyass.blogspot.com
from elite-divine :
don't know ya, but what the hell...happy belated bday for whatever its worth...nice diary
from thecrankyone :
Happy Belated Birthay!!
from kathiec :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Have a great day... heck, have a great year! Love and birthday hugs, Kathie
from elliorange :
♥ Happy Birthday! I hope you've enjoyed your special day!
from wifemotherme :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL DAY AND AN OUTSTANDING YEAR TO COME!
from bluebonnet :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
from dombilly :
Happy Birthday!! Love your template
from treewillow :
Happy Birthday!
from goldchar9 :
Hey, I finally got through!! I like Sartre, Camus, NIN, and Impressionism and loud rock and roll, and jazz!! I don't like mean people or stupid people!! Tell me more about you!! I live in central Florida now!! I have an eight-year-old daughter!!
from mindspin :
I particularly enjoy your D-land more than anything, because being Indian myself, and visiting India often in the areas you have mentioned, I can relate to what you've been writing about very well. Keep it up & stay safe. Go shoppin'. :)
from fuzzilicious :
sorry! (this is tuffy) my new diary is at fuzzilicious. i have new artwork there, too <3
from paper-girl :
Hi. I tired to email you, but it got bounced back. I was just saying that I was sad your diary's locked, and was wondering if it was permanent? I hope not, I'd miss you!
from marn :
Hey, that's a great idea! Oh, and I so completely understand about the keys. The spousal unit got so incredibly pissed off at me that one day he pounded a big nail into the wall (log part of the house) and through clenched teeth said, "Everytime you walk in the door Your Keys Go Here." They have, ever since. Tee hee.
from jen69 :
happy birthday. hope you had a great day. sorry this is late x x x
from marn :
Remember, Narcissa, it's a quarter mile walk uphill for me to get home. I'm in decent cardio shape just because of where I live, so if I want to push my heart, it takes more for me to do it. I'm self-employed, too, so I can pick my time to work out. I'm not doing it after I've put in a full day working for someone else in an office or such like--I head off first thing in the morning usually, when I'm fresh and rested. Oh, and I only do this three times a week. Some folks show up at the gym five nights a week after putting in a whole days work! THOSE people are the machines.
from marn :
It's always good to know you're not alone
from flamedancer :
people suck. i had to password it so they would suck a little less. john'll be back. don't miss him next time--he puts on a good show.
from angelina1066 :
like your diary, girl. v. nice. how informative,lol.
from weymouth66 :
Well, I've survived the first few days! :-)
from marn :
Narcissa, that picture was 20 years in the making, built slowly with infinite tweaking, eh. And that vista only lasts for about a half an hour each morning, beginning the moment when the sun first rises and shines through the mist from the pond ... So don't give up. Keep moving those wheelbarrows, be ruthless with the plants that don't perform as advertised, and before you know it you'll be there and you'll have YOUR little slice of green goodness. Promise.
from sheherazade :
ah, i couldn't agree with you more! hot showers and sleep = heaven, yet i also never get to bed before 4 am. and it's not that i study either! it's all wasted talking to people! or surfing around here. or watching tv, claiming to study! grr! it's insomniac insanity.
from marn :
Yes, Zub DOES look Satanic in that picture. I posted it because it's the only one that had his tongue out ... Hrm, I didn't even register the rest of his expression. You're right about him mowing down small children--he would, in a heartbeat.
from larrielou :
Oh! You added me! Oh! I don't know quite what it says about my life (or lack thereof) when the best part of my day is when someone whom I've never met adds my online diary as a favourite of their online diary. Oh, it's fun being a geek. Thank you :-D
from lizardsyr :
congrats on the 500 mark im approaching on my #200 woohoo, i agree with you on the song over use
from caerydd :
Miami Vice *giggles*
from ambiguousq :
there's a secret hiding at ambiguousQ.diaryland.com
from carebear0068 :
hey whats up? nothing much here..I like your diary..the movies music and authors are cool..got to go bye! *leave me a note sometime :)
from supergrover1 :
Insecure, what you gonna do? Feel so small they could step on you. Called you up - answer machine. When the human touch is what I need...
from sheherazade :
ah! i was watching both those movies too! argh, i know what you mean about tv sucking you in. i have to fight that a lot. i caught the end of selena then the breakfast club came on and i eventually fell asleep to it. that movie is classic! ;-)
from lush :
Yay for good conversations and people that listen! I, too, find that most people don't and it's REALLY refreshing when you meet someone who genuinely, genuinely lets you sparkle and lets you BE in your element when you're with them! (I'm a wallflower, these things mean ever so much more to me.)
from kittyspy :
ugh, I am trying to finish everything at the last minute too! (and I only have 2 classes, how pathetic am I?) I just have other activities which always take precedence, until the end of the semester when I have to get my shit done! anyway, don't stress too much!! love yr diary as always, xoxoxoxo, *davida*
from vampiric :
Ahahaha!! Why is everyone else getting better google hits than me? Damn! :-)
from methybeth :
Mmmm, Hayden is so wonderful. I love "As Bad As They Seem".
from methybeth :
I didn't know you were Indian! You know what that entry *just* made me realize? Either because I'm white, or because I'm an idiot, unless it's specifically mentioned, I picture people as white. Heh, that's sorta pathetic. I wouldn't worry too much about your cousins--they'll have to deal with some name-calling, which will suck, but mean children are evil to EVERYONE, and there will be nice kids, too, who will end up being the ones that matter. Still love reading you, still trying to read all the old ones.
from kittyspy :
yr relatives are coming from India? my little sister Aditi is from India, although my parents adopted her when she was 7 weeks old....so she never had to adjust to a new culture, she just grew up in it. she's 17 now, very "american", and quite the rebellious brat....typical teenager i suppose. But my parents have lots of books and all sorts of odds n' ends from India. anyway, just wanted to leave a comment! xoxo, *davida*
from tvzero :
it's refreshing to read someone's entries and be like "i said the same thing," or "i felt that way." i'm not accusing you of stealing, just saying that i like your entries and i found myself relating, more than once. and i started smoking again recently too. i'm really good at quitting, but i'm also really good at starting again. good luck to you.
from kittyspy :
lisa-grrrl, i love what you wrote today! you are so great! did you still want a mixtape?! i didn't get yr address if you sent it, and I'll totally make you one! anyway, lemme know!! xxxxooo *davida*
from vampiric :
Damn... I don't like this new analyzer. I wish they get it finished soon. And (hugs) hey. I'm doing alright... I've been reading some entries I've missed from your diary. Damn, you are too cool you know. :) (sigh) ^_~
from cylee305 :
I have just stumbled onto your diary and would like to give you madd props. I wish I could articulate half of what runs through my mind as eloquently as you are able to :)~
from leica :
I just read all the entries I've missed since the last time I was here. And gosh. You ROCK!
from vampiric :
Just wanted to blurt that I know what you're talking about! I only slept a few nights on my exam week, I had to study so much. When I was going to the last exam (and hadn't slept at all) I tried to understand my watch on the bus stop and couldn't make anything out of it! It was funny... in a sleepy, creepy way. ^_^
from kittyspy :
yeah, if you would like to send me a valentine that would rock! *real* mail is great. or an e-card would be nice. yay! um, yeah, if you send me something, i'll send you something! my e-mail is: spycat@girlswirl.net.
from vampiric :
...I seriously do need to learn how to use this analyzer thingy. I just linked YOUR diary in my previous analyzer entry. Uhum....wishful thinking. :-P Okay, I obviously need more caffeine.
from narcissa :
Mwahaha! It's my third week without smoking. Hang on in there, you can do it! And, I hate the smell of bubblegum. Ugh. Ew. I'm off to reply to that mail now. You're awesome! :-)
from indierawk :
Hotdamn girl, you are just too supercool! You make me smile like Fraggle Rock.
from methybeth :
You are so neat. We should start a "Diaryland Quitters" webring...I'm on day 10 of the no-smoke, and boyyyyyy amd I irritable. Anyway....keep writing...you do it well. XOX
from probably :
One more thing - SUPER MARIO 3 kicks all kinds of ass! Why don't they make games like that anymore, with P-wings?
from probably :
Okay, see, when I said "thank you for signing YOUR guestbook" I actually meant "thank you for signing MY guestbook." Gosh. After all that talk about appreciating people who can spell/punctuate I am extremely embarrassed.
from probably :
THANK YOU for signing your guestbook, you are such a dear. The funny thing is I actually stumbled across your diary earlier today somehow, I read and partook and enjoyed, but I did not sign! I am such a heel! Please forgive me. Do you know what? We have the almost exact same taste in music and movies. And I also love people who can spell. Proper punctuation is also sexy! I'm feeling a bit odd tonight.
from vampiric :
Okay, I just sent you mail so this is pretty pathetic but anyway. I have a friend who's exactly like that, too. It's pretty tiring, when a friend like that is acting cool you wonder if it was all in your head, and the next moment when the person misunderstands everything you say you wonder if you should let the friend go for good. (sighs)
from vampiric :
OMFG. I just read a few of your entries I had missed and I can't tell you how sorry I am. :( I know it doesn't make a damn difference what I or anyone else says, but I am just so very sorry.
from vampiric :
(sigh) I know, you're very right. I should do all that right now but I'm just too chicken. In my opinion I'm just too heavy to cut my hair or get a tattoo or pierce my nose. No kidding is it nuts. ^_^ I listen to my friends too much, they never want me to change and won't support me in any of my decisions. I guess learning to be totally independent without getting hurt by other people is the great lesson I have to learn in this world. :)
from mindless :
thankyou. for signing my analyzer. i think you have a long, deep crimson lining in your heart and when i read you i want to reach into myself and tell you that no matter how hard it gets, we find a way out. you touched me in a way i can't describe and that is something i don't say. being able to write and let it touch people is a unique thing. and you did just that.
from mocksie :
oh my god. narcissa, I just want to grab you and hug you and hold you and absorb all your pain, everything you've been through. I'm just... speechless. ~mocksie~
from ayah :
hi. thanks for your kind words on my analyzer. i like your writing, too, it's captivating. i must add you to my 'reads' list
from javakid :
Narcissa, in response to your question about my diary crashing Explorer: Explorer doesn't like loading graphics which may be one reason..does it crash WHILE the page is loading?? also, I suggest testing this out on other diaries it seem more due to your computer from what I can fathom. Also, if it says that it's loading an image. stop it. if you do this right and enough times you will not see the picture, but the text should appear. if all else fails ditch IE and use Netscape..it's better and easier.
from kittyspy :
i like yr diary. lots and lots. and i like what you had to say today very much and i think those statistics are right. keep writing. luv- *davi*
from narcissa :
i can't believe you just contaminated my guestbook like that. not impressed
from vinylflower :
For someone who hates the words "crap" and "shit", you sure do use "ass" a lot. You think those'd go hand in hand.
from mocksie :
Yay! Congrats on the tongue ring! Advice: Don't attempt chicken caesar salads for at least a couple weeks. After 3-4 days, grilled cheese is mighty good :) ~mocksie~
from vampiric :
Well, I think I fixed the guestbook, too. :) It was missing the same thing as the other pages, too so it didn't even take long. I hope it works now! :) (I also think I'm spamming your Analyzer now...*coughcough*)
from vampiric :
Of course you're worth it! I like solving html problems, even though I think my entire guestbook is one big html problem. That's caused by my guestbook server though and not me.:) But I'll try and solve this one too... Thanks so much for your comments, it made me feel so better to know I didn't sound as crazy and disjointed as I thought I did. :)
from vampiric :
Okay! How about now...? I'm not sure if I got it fixed but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. :-) I love your new layout by the way. As if that'd really matter to you but oh well. I'm too talkative. :)
from vampiric :
Hmm, I think you can see the version of your Netscape by checking the "help" tab in the browser's main window and then selecting "about". That should do it! :)
from argyle-socks :
Update more often, I work at the Federal Government...it is a student job damnit, all I do is surf the net, you don't update enough, I'm bored.
from vampiric :
Say WHAT?! You mean some version of Netscape has a problem with my diary? *hits her head on the wall* Just when I thought I had it all sorted out. Could you be so kind and tell me which version of Netscape you have installed? :-)
from mocksie :
To pierce! Get the tongue ring. They're hella fun and so worth the two weeks of mashed potatoes and pudding and gallons of listerine! ~mocks~
from vinylflower :
that last quote on your songs was not by britney girlfriend, it was by jennifer lopez. as if!
from trini :
Go for it....take the time, travel, enjoy. The longer you wait the less likely that it will happen. I've been thinking the same thoughts for years, didn't do it and now I'm settled into a lifestyle that doesn't allow the opportunity (or so I keep telling myself!!)
from stinef :
I still just loooooooooooooooooove your writing. You make me smile talking about thos elementary school-dances and so on. I recognize myself in you all the time. By the way - happy birthday (which was the 25th, right?)...my birthday is the 29th :)
from leica :
Good grief. Your writing makes me feel so insecure, so inadequate! Why is it that when I read you, I get the feeling that any guy I'm into would automatically fall in love with YOU instead? *sob* *sniffle*
from sympatric :
i never know what to write in these, really.. i think it's the fact they're called an "analyzer".. it throws me off, i guess.. thank you for the lovely words you left in my guestbook.. it did lead me to you, after all.. i'm so starved for some canadian content 'round here.. oh, by the way, i snickered at us torontonians too when mayor mel called in the army.. heh.. i think that's just because i don't like mel, though. oh, and because i was disappointed that i dind't get to see a bison tank thingy driving across lawrence avenue.. ah well..
from dbt808 :
happy birthday lisa. ...cheers...a...
from jerri-blank :
hi! this is a totally different anna from the ones who have signed before. hey, i think your diary rules. you're a funny girl. keep writing. :)
from vinylflower :
emo is a kind of punk rock. Just to let you know.
from weakend :
so I was sooo excited when you wrote the kind words in my diary, but then I read your diary, and realized you were a complete dorc, so I was all ehhhh. ... i am, of course, joking, and i am, of course, blushing at your sweetness in my diary, and i am, of course, glad that i found yours, cause every entry is great. i will be keeping a close and attentive eye.
from narcissa :
but james! I kissed you! wasn't that enough??? i think that's all the good looking girls you need... plus there was that time when it was just you and me alone in the blue room...
from change :
ok. i don't know why it took me so long to sign this thing, but your diary is awesome.
from frozensoul :
LOL!! I know someone whose online name is Juicy! *wide grin*
from dbt808 :
hey lisa! still reading girl. and loving every minute of it. anyway, cheers.......a.........
from twiggle :
Oh the joys of being a perfectionist. Ignore the "n" in that previous entry. "an boring"? I don't know how the "n" snuck in there but I didn't have a way of getting it out.
from twiggle :
I found you through quoted and now I'm addicted. I'm trying to plow though all the entries in one sitting but my back is starting to hurt (it's been a whole hour already) so I'll come back for more. I love it. It's refreshing to find someone articulate and interesting. I almost quit looking for new diaries because if I searched randomly I always stumbled across some lame teen crap. I have a confession though. I almost didn't read when I saw the plain template. The plain blue and grey makes me cringe. Yes, I'm a diaryland snob...to me plain template = plain person. But it's not the case with you. How can it be that such original writing is presented in such an boring template? Don't take that personally because I LOVE your diary. I don't have great HTML skills but I would LOVE to spiff up your diary if you want me to design something for you. Am I out of line? Visit my diary and let me know what you think.
from insanity- :
Well, surprisingly I wanted to write something, Im a 17 yr old Western Australian Male yet still I think I can almost relate to some of your feelings, especially towards death and violience. Which is scary because I collect knifes and I play games where you get points for hitting people. BTW I just got my licence. U seem a wonderful person, death comes and goes, but life is as important as you make it, cheerish it.
from frozensoul :
*LOL* You are so right. Emode really needs to work on their descriptions, I don't know about the accurance of your results but mine were full of drama. :o)
from frozensoul :
Ack, I've been in the same situation in just a little while ago. I gave my addy to my best friend who is very easily hurt, and a little while ago she did something that hurt /me/ a lot. I had to decide between starting up a new diary or talking about it on the existing one. I chose the latter. Keeping up two diaries, one for appearances and one for the truth would probably be too much like real life. And sometimes it's just better to say things like they are, regardless of someone's feelings. ^_^
from waterlily :
Erm. Now I feel like a dork. Blame my mother's computer. ;) Anyway, you don't have to move to Mexico. You can always try Texas. The Texan language isn't all that different from Canadian. You just have to learn to say 'y'all'. I've been introducing the phrase, 'no worries, eh?' into Texan vocabulary, as I feel that's the national phrase of Canada. It's my bow to culture. :) Thanks for signing my guestbook. :) I'll have to spend more time reading your diary from now on.
from trini :
I can relate. I had someone ask me if I was black because I'm from the islands and only black people are from the islands, right?? One of these days we will all be a little more educated on different cultures.
from katie :
Luv your diary! check me out sometime! I am inspired to write more!
from vinylflower :
I just wanted to say that youre awsome. even though this keyboard has secret north american puncuation. i am in rome. write me.
from athena98122 :
hi . . i just wanted to let you know that i stumbled across your diary via the randomizer, and i wound up reading every entry. which, doesn't often happen. =)
from vinylflower :
I just wanted to let you know that I just spent, probably over an hour, reading every single diary entry. To add to that, I would like to say that I am more in love with you than ever before. I also like the fact that when I started, I thought that I had read all your entries, but it turns out, I got several surprises. What can make my day any better?
from vinylflower :
I feel exactly the same way about this diaryland teenager stuff... maybe we should switch diaries into something a little more grown up. I hate to think of myself as belonging to something that these peopel do. Arg to them. *spit spit*
from dbt808 :
hi L. just droppin by... more interesting dialog to come, i am certain. cheers.a

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