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Hi Girl, I just wanted to let you know 't be reading my "notes" page anymore. It will still be open for people to post their comments, but I'm simply not reading it from now on. So, if there's a comment you'd like to be sure I read, best bet is to send it via e-mail. Luckily the "e-mail" link on the right side of the page is my direct address, so there's no worry about whether or not Diaryland manages to forward it. If this method is too much trouble for you to bother with, I understand completely. I hope it will be all right if I continue to post comments on your entries. Thanks. -cat

from cats-corner :

Wow! Thank you so much for submitting my diary at "suggest." I'm so flattered! I submitted several diaries there via e-mail a few weeks ago and never heard back (yours being one of the diaries I submitted of course). I'm going to resubmit, only this time I'll do it on the notes page. Thank you again for suggesting me. -cat

from suggest :

Thanks for suggesting a great diary :)

from gutterpoet :

Thanks much for the note. Especially since it lead me to read your writings. I doubt we agree on a lot, but I very much enjoyed it all the same. Well thought out and put together. I'll be back often.

from hamiltonian :

Whats your email? Mine is [email protected]

from cats-corner :

I am truly sorry that your depression the kind that is so overwhelming. I wish with all my heart, I could lift it from your spirit so you could be free to enjoy life...but I know for some, it's just too much...and that fact always makes me incredibly sad. I hope you know I wish you the best...even though it doesn't make things any easier. I think you're incredibly strong for fighting the way you have, for as long as you have...and I know, it never feels that way. Please know that you are in me heart...I do care about you...even though I'm a stranger. -cat

from cats-corner :

Oh my God! You stated exactly what I was thinking about Ann Coulter in your second to last paragraph! I'm with you...I'd like to ask her exactly where she thinks she'd be if it weren't for all the people who've advanced the causes she vilifies! You're amazing! Thank you! -cat

from hamiltonian :

thanks for the nice note and I like your journal! btw.. i glanced for a sec at some question by ikss about suicide by weed?Well people cause people to kill themselves. Its like guns they dont kill people people do

from ikss :

Right on! I also try to get news from various sources. It's amazing what you can discover in doing so. And you're right - the state of our media in general (it's not even just Fox anymore, although they're the worst) is horrifying...on another front, I'm right there with you in the herbal remedy department. And I worry MUCH less about it's effects than those of prescribed "anti-depressants." When was the last time you heard of someone commiting suicide as a direct side-effect of smoking too much pot? Or doing anything harmful after smoking too much pot, aside from eating too much or sleeping a lot? There's just no big pharmaceutical company making money off of its sales.

from grayinside :

wow..you write really well..compared to what some ppl here write i.e. i got up ate breakfast watched tv.. you actually say things worth reading..kudos ♥ renee

from cats-corner :

I was recently reading the archives of a D-lander I have met in person and now consider a friend...and was rather surprised to see that she considers people who "give in" to depression to be cowards who *choose* not to deal with life. Sadly, I realize this is what most people think...that's it's simply a matter of deciding you're going to be happy. Well, yeah -- it's a nice idea, but there are days when the depression is a tidal wave of grief and self-loathing. But most people don't "get it." So how are we, the ones who suffer from a crippling illness over which we have no control, supposed to feel when we're constantly bombarded with the message that it's all *our* fault, we're just weak, we suck, etc., etc.? I wish I knew the answer. :-(

from grayinside :

you asked me what you are susposed to get up in the morning for?? well you should do it for you..for the things that make you happy and you are the only one in charge of that..find happiness in trees..little flowers..birds just anything you see..youre the only person in life that controls what makes you happpy..and i should be taking all of my advice thank you for helping me see something new ♥ renee

from sephiragrace :

oh thank you dear. <3 I like your username and your diary is nice too. xo. julie

from lupee :

Hey thanks for your note.I'm just going through your diary right now and you have so much talent.sorry to hear of your friend D sometimes I think of moving out and reconsider for fear of finding myself in a tight financial situation. write me soon xox lupe

from earthandseed :

Thank you for the sweet note, dear.

from singer2 :

Hi, Ghostgirl I can tell by the way that you write that you're very different from me; don't worry though I know alot of people who are very much like you. I'm not sure if you believe in God or in Jesus. I'm not ashamed to say that I do, though. I'm really sorry about your friend I promise I'll pray for D in Jesus's name. You may think that prayer is stupid and that it doesn't work because all you do is talk to yourself. You're wrong, though. Prayer is more than just talking or saying something reahearsed...It's having "faith". Faith is really important when you pray. -singer2

from cats-corner :

Oh I'm so sorry about your friend D. That's just awful...no, it's not fair. Sometimes I really wonder how people like Depak Chopra (who spew all this crap about: if you're a good person, good things will come to you) explain inequities like this. How does some prick like Donald Trump end up with enough money to support hundreds of thousands of people a year, while someone like D struggles all the time.

from cats-corner :

Good grief! Brand new and the computer's already giving you shit! Damn! I wish I had a clue as to what to tell you...but I'm barely comprehending all the information I've just crammed into my skull! Oh, and I'll be sure to mention that you'd like a g-mail invite in my next entry. :-) -cat

from atwowaydream :

I think people have a difficult time feeling that depression or other mental disorders are a valid excuse for disabiity. No matter that some have attempted suicide on a number of occassions and can't get on a bus without a panic attack. The sum of people tend to be shallow and harsh. . . luckily, D will come across a couple more people like you.

from raven72d :

You write beautifully. I hope you'll stay in touch.

from raven72d :

True enough. True enough. It's only imagination that makes you seek experience.

from dark-doll :

Sept18th. Hey thanks a lot for the note <3 By the way, I hope things work out for you and D. Take care

from raven72d :

I understand so clearly about the inability to move.

from suicideinc :

are you crazy??? i love your writing. you just have this amazing grace with your words. it flows so perfectly.

from operaticblis :

i haven't been reading your journal but for a few days now and i want u to kno that u havent lost ur touch-- i think ur last wordz are just as beautiful((if not more)) as your first. fucked & love Ellis

from raven72d :

You're an unexpected find...and a fine writer. I'll be reading you often.

from ikss :

I also struggle with depression VERY often. I hear you. I have no words of wisdom for you - just that I hear you. Try to hang in there. And thanks for the nice note you left for me.

from suicideinc :

i wouldn't stop for the world. the same goes for you.

from scarstain :

thank you. you write amazingly. and by the time i'm 30 i'm hoping to still be with the love of my life or dead. but thats just me. i think it might be the morbid teenager in me. love lauren xoxox

from atwowaydream :

"I haven't done justice to my thoughts"-- I thought that was beautifully said, and who hasn't felt that way? I mean, someone who writes knows there's always at least five billion different ways to write it. It's always a tragedy when only one of those ways comes out. Anyway, lovely diary. (and thank you.)

from cats-corner :

Oh my God! I'm so with you! There isn't enough money, liquor and drugs on earth to get me to attend a high school reunion! I'd rather spend eternity in Hell with all the hypocritical Bible thumpers! (Thank you for the website, I'm definitely going to check it out). -cat

from cats-corner :

Thank you...I deeply appreciate your answer to my question. *Hug* -cat

from cats-corner :

I understand exactly how you feel...I'm only sorry that we're both members of the same club. :-\ -cat

from argentum :

Triple word score for use of the word "vascillation" in a sentence. Adjust your scorecard accordingly.

from cats-corner :

Thank you so much for sticking with me! I swear, my version of heaven will be a great, big bookstore in the sky. :-) -cat

from the-book-bag :

Thank you for reading my diary. *Hugs* -cat

from argentum :

That's good to know about stings. Im going to try to remember that.

from the-book-bag :

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel. :-[

from cdghost :

enjoyed your words, from 1ne ghost to the next

from the-book-bag :

Ah the good ol' days of spam without the existential poetry. :-D -cat

from the-book-bag :

P.S. Did I ever tell you that I loved your entry about people's reaction to people with depression? (I think it was your third or fouth). It was fantastic and articulated everything I feel when someone says: "Smile" or "Cheer up, you don't have it so bad." Thank you for that entry. -cat

from the-book-bag :

Depression is a club I'm always sad to know another person belongs to. I wish there was something I could say or do to help...I know how difficult it is...sometimes BREATING seems too much. *Hugs* Oh, and thank you for adding me to your favorites list. :-) -cat

from the-book-bag :

I know it's stupid but: *hugs to you*. -cat

from the-book-bag :

I'm glad you're still here, as I just recently discovered your diary and would greatly miss reading new entries. -cat

from raven72d :

I just discovered your diary... It's powerful and complex and melancholy. I will be reading back through your entries. You have so much to say that I identify with...

from girlsmad :

thankyou..by the way I love your diary.

from solemne :

Is it worth dying, for that one last time? This is the greatest sorrow of all.

from argentum :

LSD...or XTC. I definitely agree with your last entry. I have to say, its done wonders for my personality. I never even had to try therapy.

from solemne :

I love the poetic prose and honesty that you portray in your writing. Never stop.

from starlight42 :

hey, just stopping by. I can so relate to that entry! I used to do the same thing, it's a good feeling not to be waiting around any more.

from crateobscure :

In your entry on 2004-03-01 entitled "Dreams are where I spread my wings" you write "Tomorrow I will have to get up and exist" - I used to think that, too. Now I get up a subsist and sometimes I even persist, but I only feel the urge to exist on holidays, very few of which I recognize because the cult I am in doesn't recognize any holidays besides Arbor Day. PS - I love your diary.

from no-yes-maybe :

hey there! Thanks for filling out the survey! I realy enjoyed checking out your diary!

from ikss :

Hey thanks for the link to the activist diary. Great stuff! :)

from morceaux :

lovely, if i knew where we could go, i would've already been there and sent you a one-way ticket to join me<3

from ikss :

I totally understand. I feel so overwhelmed so often - you just want to curl up in the arms of someone who makes you feel safe and warm. :) Beautifully said.

from morceaux :

thanks, doll. it means a lot<3

from barely-jeri :

Wow. I love your diary. You're beautiful, and so are the words you enter on to your computer screen. �� xx

from zoneoutgirl :

thanks! it's always cool to hear some positive feed back

from ikss :

I so love your diary! I know I've said it before, but...well, it bears repeating. :)

from roxyelliot :

Thanks for writing to me. I like that button too. I'm also fond of "Come the Rapture, can I have your car." :)

from redness :

Just wanted to send along some Wednesday hugs and to let you know that I dig the new layout.

from ikss :

A) Thanks for the nice note B) Your diary rocks! I don't know how I missed it before, but I shall be back often. :)

from hauntedmind :

I couldn't agree more. And thank-you. I mean that. Thank you.

from funda :

Thank you too, from all of us in my head :)

from lovely-freak :

thank you for your comment... i decided to read from the beginning of the year. i like your writing and can relate to you in a way... thanks for taking the time to read me.

from candora :

This is a test. (beep) This is a test of the Emergency Valentine's Day System. (EVS) This test is to see if leaving notes around DLand will make this a wonderful day in spite of not particularly being with anyone romantically at the moment. (ummm) May the results be that all this love in my heart found some productive use. (smile) And maybe a giggle or few :)

from republicans :

Hey, thanks for stopping by, and for your nice comment. Also, you have a very attractive website.

from blackprism :

oh why thank you ^.^

from djmarionette :

Thanks for checking out my digs! Hope you like the tunes... Take care of yourself. :)

from redness :

I always find sleep to be my solace as well. The dream world is where I find peace in times when my mind only sees fear and pain.

from madanarchist :

Nice diary. Want to fuck?

from hauntedmind :

Stifled, unsure of myself (unsure of anything, for that matter), and completely flattered, I lend to you my deepest thanks. You've found a new reader while you're at it. Not that it was your intention, of course. Also, a question: who would you choose if you could have a female president in office? (Not that it will ever happen in our life-time, that fucking relic that is the electoral college . . .)

from exhaust :

Thank you.

from bourgeoisie :

i dig, and thanks for your words. i appreciate it.

from keeds :

hi. write back.

from inou :

sickly pap of maudlin melodrama

from solemne :

Once again, you have a beautiful diary.

from dying-beauty :

hey.......long time no talk.....

from solemne :

You glow with strength.

from darrylzer0 :

You make me smile.

from darrylzer0 :

i am saying hello now. the most recent entry was very interesting rhetorically; i wish i could explain further, but my stomach acid is about to eat a hole in my stomach if i don't eat something. later.

from paengz666 :

Im waitting to reaDDD ur feel...Take cARE!

from solemne :

"I met a man and we kissed like people drowning" Wonderfully complexing analogy. Exactly how do drowning people kiss? I imagine like it's that last time ever, and full of emotion????

from silentspring :

about the women war entry ...i agree with the role of people as catalysts to peace BUT it still hasnt made even a slighest dent in bush's hawkish plans for massacre .. now whatdo we do ..??

from broken-glass :

For what it's worth, if you see him again I'm sure you'll know it even if you don't remember his face. I know people who this has happened to - you'll know. Also, thanks for the note about the Bitch board - it's funny, I got a hell of a lot more clix than usual last week and I was wondering why, then I checked my stats and saw how many people were coming to me from that thread. Apparently most of them liked me! :-)

from tornlace :

thanks for your note :) out of curiousity i read your excange of entires with the diarest below and i agree with you. i can see how she might have thought you were insulting her- opposing views sometimes come off as personal attacks- but i see what you are saying. we'd have to bomb a hell of a lot more places to cleanse the world of countries that hate and rape and torture.

from evil-edna :

Now you come to my site and post in my guestbook stating that I have a 'simplistic' view as if that's an insult. No, it's more a case of my having the ability to cut through the bullshit that seems to bog so many people down - don't assume I don't know what I'm talking about, especially since I provided links to the articles I was basing my entry on. For instance, if you had read the articles you would have seen that Iraq's supposedly good record on women's rights is considered as nothing more than a smoke screen. If you feel the urge to insult me in my guestbook at least try and get your facts straight first.

from darrylzer0 :

oh, i won't go so far as to say i'm too well-informed...and J.J.'s actually a pretty well-composed, pensive person who was just posing a pleasant question that happened to piss me off enough to rant. thanks for the love, though! :)

from solemne :

"broken wrecks of once proud ships..." That was perfect. Thank you for the note.

from astralounge :

I think I meant to reply to your message ages ago, but it looks like I didn't. :) Thank you for stopping by my diary and saying hi!

from our-views :

Hey... you've already been reviewed at Our-Views by Kristine http://our-views.diaryland.com/theghostgir.html If you'd like a re-review, we'd be happy to do that for you.

from dying-beauty :

always insightful......keep it up

from r-e-v-i-e-w :

Your review is up. http://r-e-v-i-e-w.diaryland.com/theghostgir.html Sorry if it's short, I really didn't know what to say.

from krimsonlake :

Acid?? Fucking idiots!! I've taken Acid and know full well it does nothing to ease depression, and if you're a remotely anxious person it can be really fucking awful. You've got to be in the right frame of mind for Acid, and depression isn't the right frame of mind.

from queenofnight :

Please dont take acid!!!!! You are too smart for that shit.

from feminist-rvw :

Your review is up!

from psychodyke :

'ello m'dear... getting around to (reading) you... in the midst of a crisis (many crises)... will get there soon. peruse. and gasp. and knowingly smile. i'm sure.

from feminist-rvw :

We'd like to review you. We'd love a link, maybe where you have the other review sites listed?

from feminist-rvw :

Thanks for the note -- hope you didn't wait too long for a reply! (We've all been away.) We'll start reading your diary and let you know right away. As for broken-glass, feel free to drop her a note and if s/he'd like a review, we'll check it out.

from darrylzer0 :

I happened to love Medea when I read it in college. There's a deep level of tragedy in her character; the professor who assigned it to my class made sure to point that out to us. I still read it every now and then.

from pinklady877 :

Hey this is Kristine from Our-Views. Your review is now up at http://our-views.diaryland.com/theghostgir.html. Thanks for submitting your diary! Much Love, Kristine

from queenofnight :

hey, thanks for signing my book. i thought no one ever read. i love the bomb iraq song. IM me at junglefigurante.

from neuroticaa :

you're brilliant. <3

from qwert :

HRUHAH! OMG LIKE U LIKE GW 2 LIKE OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!! GW SHOULD BE EMPEROR! HEIL BUSH! HEIL BUSH! HEIL BUSH! GW LEADER FOR ALL GW LEADER ABOVE ALL ELSE! HIPHIP HUYAY!

from swordmaiden :

Thanks a lot! Your diary is also buttifull :-) I'm gonna take a look around. Your diary v. good looking!

from erato :

In this reflection, my thoughts are yours. And thank you for sharing that song.

from jenga21 :

Thanks for writing your rant about Bush. You totally rock!

from bastion :

Bush = A shrub on the White House lawn, and about as much use and poison oak. We agree. Added you to my favorite file - now why don't you start a notify list ? One with the url at the bottom would let me know when you have posted and entry and let me click on url to get in quickly. Denver doug

from livingwreck :

I agree with you again, this time on your bit about Bush. Our prime minister is sucking so much up George's arse that he's not even thinking about the consequences of military action against Iraq (or anywhere else).....By the way, I've added you to my favourites. Hope you don't mind.

from broken-glass :

I totally and entirely agree 100% with your entry on Bush. Vomit, vomit, vomit.

from livingwreck :

Your words mean so much. Thank you.....And I totally agree about the gourmet food thing.

from autumnal :

incendiary

from prodigy-girl :

just looking around :)

from ghostfox :

Joy is oblivion. Being able to wriggle out of yourself for a while. That's why my ears are wrecked because I listen to too much music, my eyes are wrecked because I read too much and I'm addicted to the internet.

from pieceofme :

joy is when you smile at others while walking down the street and knowing that you just may have made someones day xxx

from lostflame :

happy new year.. hope that it brings you much peace

from labeled-girl :

thanks for reading. i don't know how beautifully written it is, but at the very least, i can claim it's the truth, right? thanks again.

from virtuallynic :

i love the way you write and have added you to my buddy list and look forward to reading more of your words

from virtuallynic :

i love the way you write and have added you to my buddy list and look forward to reading more of your words

from her-journey :

I just wanted to say thank you for the note you left in my guestbook. It was nice to hear someone remind me that it's alright to feel the way I feel and write about those feelings. Thank you.

from gilberto :

i`m listening.....

from broken-glass :

I know exactly what you mean, with photos. I feel the same thing.

from hemopoetic :

there's nothing to say when a hug can say all that needs to be said. *love, hug*

from sad-doll :

scars of the physical body compare nothing to the scars of the soul

from lostflame :

i find you addicting

from krimsonlake :

Oh, don't get me wrong, if you feel that way you should write that way. I do, often. I just think that with some people it's less about how they feel and more about cultivating a tragic persona. It's like it's become somehow trendy. Which pisses me off, because when you feel it the last thing it is is trendy. You write beautifully by the way.

from rasberry1 :

You write so beautful,so real

from afrai :

That's what I always tell my mother -- the *world* has darkness in it, so why can't I watch LOTR? (not a terribly convincing argument, true, but it works if you think it through!) -- but she doesn't listen. Ah, well. Yeah, and I suspected Christopher Lee was as smart as he looks. 12 languages, huh? Whoa. The cast of LOTR is so cool.

from livingwreck :

Yeah, them being attached could get in the way lol Still, it was their loss....And I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure if you keep searching you'll find the key. Anything I can do?

from almostalone :

...never.

from scorpioali :

nice diary.

from krimsonlake :

Work is defintely overrated. I stand by that position 100%. Good luck with the quitting smoking, it's not so bad after the first 2-3 weeks...honestly:-)

from raven72d :

I rather like seeing skeletons...

from picassomoon :

you are right that asshole prolly ate three turkeys i hate him.

from bipolargirl :

you are so RIGHT ON about so many things - kissenger, 'shrub-head' (luv that) and 9/11. do you know that bush's excuse for cutting down our last forests is to creat jobs and lessen the risk of forest fires. gimme a fuckin break. also - thanks for filling out the survey, and check out this link from cnn today - the brits used spies to bomb their own facilities so they wouldn't look suspicious. gee, i'm sure the military machine would never think of that again .... http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/11/27/britain.wartime.secret.ap/index.html

from hemopoetic :

love note...

from coldsnowden :

hey. bullshit, blah blah. anyway, thanks.

from broken-glass :

PS: I'd love to see your skeletons. Keep sharing.

from panzer-kitty :

Normally so do I, but I wasn't at home when I wrote that. Thanks for the note. ;)

from broken-glass :

Thanks so much for your comments, and for linking to me. Your writing is beautiful. You can probably already guess that I empathize!

from ubermeister :

I just read through your diary and like the things you have to say, especially on death. I ponder death regularly in my own diary, and I'm sure I'll be visiting yours more often.

from amberfalls :

Thanks for signing my guestbook. I just stopped in and read your last entry. I thought it was wonderful. I feel fortunate to be a "naturally" happy person. I've always been this way but I also know what it means to suffer with clinical depression. My ex husband was a victim of this horrible affliction. He wasn't a very nice person and he refused to seek treatment. He knew there was something wrong with him but at the same time refused to acknowledge it. There is help for people with depression. Although, life is never going to be easy, it can get a litle better. -A-

from ghostfox :

Thanks for reaching out. You can make the rest of the world disappear at will, trust me. It's a state of mind. Mentally click your fingers and they're gone. I just withdraw with my headphones and some good music. I think I would be dead by now if I didn't havethat refuge, or at least a very different person. I like your username, by the way. Inspired.

from livingwreck :

Thanks for signing my book. I'd be more than happy to tell you the method but it's very involved....lol....It's all pretty much positive thinking - which I'm usually not too good at.....And I agree with you about ppl who tell others to stop complaining etc - it's why a lot of ppl have diaries, so they can write about things and formulate ideas or a course of action. And I think it's great that they do it and can get feedback from others. I really can't understand how ppl can be rude to someone about their diary - don't know about you but I always feel privileged to read what someone else has written. .....Sorry about the novel. Good luck with your diary and I'll be back soon..

from pieceofme :

thanks for your message. i look forward to getting to know you through your diary xxx rebecca

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