Just brain leakage. It's distracting, at best. Have at it.

I lost my pants. I'm rated R for strong language. I like to say "spank." So there.

My favorite diaries:

halfdevoured profile - diary

comments: "Doctors today may be able perform small miracles with just a bit of lubrication, a latex glove and a single tunneling digit."

fadein profile - diary

comments: "I made a promise to myself a long time ago to not accept jobs where I have to debate whether or not I was ever smacked in the head."

tvzero profile - diary

comments: "My penis � good. Someone else�s penis � bad."

rumblelizard profile - diary

comments: "Can I please just get an amen that these ads for the new Eminem movie are irritating enough to turn Mother Theresa homicidal?"

redblur profile - diary

comments: "The lobster scenes in Annie Hall. In particular, the second one."

chichester profile - diary

comments: "...and just try to tell me that it doesn't rock the camel's bootyhole."

cuppajoe profile - diary

comments: "No, I'm pretty sure they don't love us, judging by the frequency and ferocity of the bird poopings on the back of our house."

bettinas profile - diary

comments: "Do you like gardenburgers with cheese and a nice big claussen pickle, followed by a glass of wine?"

peth profile - diary

comments: "...and then I had to stop when the waitress noticed I was drawing on her arse as she bent over to serve the hash browns to the elderly gentleman at the table across from us."

sooner profile - diary

comments: "Oh. Well, I'm still back on the part in which I assist you in kidnapping a judge. That part."

tattoobelly profile - diary

comments: "My town is now on Level Six Water Restriction. I'm not sure, but I think this means we're not allowed to sweat."

weetabix profile - diary

comments: "We were weapons of god damned mass destruction but not too pithy to stop for a food court cookie."

thecritic profile - diary

comments: "I know some people reserve this honor for ex-presidents, but so help me God if I live to see the day that Bill Gates dies I�m going to piss on his grave."

ladeeleroy profile - diary

comments: "I had just taken a giant whiff of my own ass smell."

skim profile - diary

comments: "Regardless, I momentarily considered grabbing his comb over so I could slam his forehead into the wall."

anniewaits profile - diary

comments: "A funny message that can be played over loudspeakers at the 'Sausage Factory' restaurant in the San Francisco's most popular gay district!"

marn profile - diary

comments: "Facing even a mild form of skin cancer is enough of the scary for a sissypants crymonkey like me, thankyewverymuch."

sundry profile - diary

comments: "ALSO, NOTE THAT I AM NOW VERY LATE FOR WORK. AND, APPARENTLY, UNABLE TO STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS."

jamiestar profile - diary

comments: "Angry voicemails. Belligerent voicemails. From crazy drunk beehive girl�s boyfriend. Who just got out of jail. FOR MURDER."

discothekid profile - diary

comments: "My hopes that somewhere out there a member of the clergy or perhaps even a midget were going to be woven into the unscrupulous web of the garden state were fading fast."

ann-frank profile - diary

comments: "I guess I am not so imaginative, because my Nacho-Beast looked something like a buffalo, but smaller with udders that also makes its own Nacho-Cheese Stuff."

weeme profile - diary

comments: "... maybe it was the time I used my Easy Bake oven to melt my brother's green plastic army men into freeform sculptures and started a little fire."

twelvebeer profile - diary

comments: Funny like a drunk monkey.

imjustsayin profile - diary

comments: "A guy came back and ordered a second sandwich. Said he wanted one every day and then proposed."

slummyjelly profile - diary

comments: (Locked) "But then, he's like, 'And. I had a gee-ro' and all of Greece celebrates, 'Adelfos! Come, brother.' And Cameras!"

blueasatick profile - diary

comments: "Do you know you�re on funk street? Come on and join me."

thefelineone profile - diary

comments: "...but my brain just shut down defensively rather than re-live the shittiness that would have to top that pile of unmitigated bollocks."

betabitch profile - diary

comments: "On the other rides, I closed my eyes and moaned like a dying cow."

jeffy profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "It will change your life almost as much as that Mandy Moore movie. Almost."

bigsabu profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "...and then i turned sideways and my ass stuck out about 3 feet. But just my ass."

boymonkey profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "...for some reason i do have an irregular square shaven into my stomach hair."

fu-fu profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "David Cross makes me laugh so hard that I sometimes get an erection."

imthecat profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "i lIKE wHEElS sECOnD tO tHUMbZ."

mllerewind profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "Hurrah for gratuitous groping."

rudey profile - diary

comments: (Inactive...aaaaand locked...)

valueape profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "Drug dealers and illicit massage parlors staffed by mute male soccer players."

vulturebait profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "If dusting your broom is the highlight of the day, fuck, well...just fuck! I mean that is truly shitty."

mfoxm profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "Always give them the illusion that someday, given the right circumstance, you just might sleep with a girl."

heckafresh profile - diary

comments: (Inactive): "But I digress, starving people shmarving people, I have super fast porn downloads for him to attend to."

My favorite music:

My favorite movies:

My favorite authors:

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last updated: 2006-05-08 17:36:15
this user's total entries: 314
user since: 2000-10-12

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