DiaryLand members area

you've been here forever too, but are you still... i'm hardly ever, but sometimes, just to wander and say hello... smiles follow me when i do that and i like smiles :)

from molyn :

where can I find your blog these days? [email protected]

from kimnsrv :

Hey man. What's news...would like an email to your new blog spot.

from molyn :

Where do you blog now? I miss it!

from mentalimages :

how do i get the password or redirect?

from firstthought :

YOu had better get intouch with me if you come to Denver bud!! Are you on MySpace? I blog here now: http://www.myspace.com/formerly_known_as COme say hi.

from firstthought :

What the hell is it with this password crap?? Can I peek? PS. I hope all is well with you bud. I realize I fell off the face for a while.

from licalicious :

Thanks for the redirect - there is nothing better for coming off the alcoholic weekend of my life than to see sturge again! And yes it's wednesday - er thursday morning - it was quite the weekend! Largest music festival in the world + passes to VIP area + free drinks and food = How did I get home?

from licalicious :

hey - just wondering if I could have a password. I think you're cute when you're drunk

from maybeuknow :

when did I need password to read your diary?

from antinormalcy :

sturge, why must you rock so hardcore?

from antinormalcy :

ya know, you may feel like crap, but you are one lucky bastard.

from diaryquotes :

See, your problem is, you tried to see movies at Sundance. That's not what Sundance is for. Unless you're planning on buying one of the movies, and then you get to watch them.

from whatevaman :

if u r in town, go to th e r kelly sing along at alamo downtown on sunday. its fuvking awesome. sorry about the typos, im drunk. luv, lyci,

from antinormalcy :

yep. if you do it, I'll do it too.

from antinormalcy :

in regards to "Punch!" if you do it, I'll do it.

from madrigle :

Traffic sucks! Thanks for letting me giggle at your expense. The cell phone thing is soooooooooooo something that could have been straight from my own life, well all of it really. :D

from sixelasauce :

I personally think that FOX should be put on trial for crimes against humanity...but that is just me

from rumblelizard :

FOX cancelled the best show on television when they cancelled "Firefly." But I feel your pain. Arrested Development was damned good. Whoever's in charge of such things at FOX should be taken out back and shot.

from acornotravez :

Hope you're feeling better.

from flab2fab :

That's the most disturbing mental picture anyone's painted me in a long time! That poor first cow that looked right into the camera. With its big, pleading brown cow eyes. Maybe I'll quit hamburger, but I could never quit steak.

from pinkcrisis :

That was so gross. I like to eat steak and other meat but every now and then I have this awful feeling that I shouldn't be. Well, and after reading this I am not sure that I will. Mandy

from pummela :

Oh damn. Odamnodamnodamn. I just finished a sausage breakfast right before I read that.

from molyn :

In my opinion, one of the best inventions is the mouse trap enclosed in a plastic box with a release. That way you have to neither see, nor touch the mouse following it's capture. Genius. I've used it and it worked like magic. Mouse catching magic. Good luck :)

from sprizee :

rats! maybe <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/10/21/smart.rat.reut/index.html">this</a> is why you couldn't find the little bastard.

from whatevaman :

hope mother egans was cool. hope u had a drink for me. hope it was whiskey.

from antinormalcy :

PS- I want your job.

from antinormalcy :

now why is it that they say the news is soooooo up to date (because it's updated everyday, duh), but they don't let out information until months after it's released? what kind of shit is that?

from acornotravez :

How did you like ACL? I think I got the black lung from all the frickin' dust...

from augustdreams :

Found you through Quoted. I think I'm in love! *cough* But seriously, I love your writing and style. Whiskey makes me see ghosts too, btw. I once thought that freaky Grudge chick was in my bathroom. I had to go pee outside.

from plopphizz :

Congrats, you've been Quoted at http://quoted.diaryland.com/morequotes.html. Keep up the great writing! - Ploppy

from joynuggets :

I wish I could write the right things. I am holding up my bottle in a salud (skol) to you. Say hi next time you're around ([email protected]), we'll share.

from acornotravez :

Yeah, right...THAT spot.

from acornotravez :

Are you still going to ACL? See ya there, maybe. I hope it doesn't rain.

from antinormalcy :

what happened to the hungover entry?

from inkedgal :

have i ever had one of those nights? yes, yes i have. -jdb

from juddhole :

Dude, I was a few blocks away from that shit when it happened, and the radio guy came on and said "Oh, this is terrible, KBCO World Class Rock Artist Mark Cohn has been shot in the temple!" and I thought, "Fuck! I LOVE KBCO World Class Rock Artists! I must LOVE Mark Cohn!" Then, I found out he's the Walking in Memphis guy and that he got released a few hours after getting shot. Fuck It. At least I got the caramel creamer in my coffee this morning instead of that shitty vanilla.

from whatevaman :

'how to eat fried worms'!! thats awesome. im excited now, thanks.

from n-9 :

sounds like a 'must read' sturgie-frito. thanx.

from kimnsrv :

How To Eat Fried Worms was my fav. too!! I can still see the red-bordered book in tatters right alongside Willy Wonka and the Thriller vinyl. p.s. I love Linklater.

from acornotravez :

Dude, you're in Pork's diary.

from tinaster :

No wonder you get all the chicks you HOT ASS YOU!

from lameassgirl :

are you a dane cook fan?

from acornotravez :

I missed your party.

from undyingsong :

Hey Sturge, you might be interested in this... the Cap City Comedy Club is going to have a screening of Los Enchiladas, the unreleased film that Mitch Hedberg wrote, directed, and starred in, this Sunday at 8. Check Austin360 for details and whatnot.

from hairburner :

Welcome back mister. I thought you had left us for good this time. I'm glad you're drunk and still around.

from meism :

can't sign guestbook twice fast: yo. someone ought to be doing a documentary on this guy. (You. Mike.)

from slinkycurtis :

Stumbled across your diary (bizarrely due to the Butterglory reference) - keep up the work, you inspired me to document my tortured existence...maybe I need to start drinking more, seems to work for you...

from hubbabub :

You are most welcome for the CD. Please *do* let me know when you'll be in Seattle. The second round is on me!

from biglemmons :

Happy belated - you are soooo my Hero!

from acornotravez :

Happy b'day.

from tinaster :

Isn't Sandra Bullock on this movie you are working on?

from joynuggets :

By the way, you can email me at yaysarahj at hotmail

from joynuggets :

Hey Sturgis - Nice talking with you the other night. Let's do it again, only I won't be as drunk (maybe).

from swollenthumb :

TOTALLY LONG EXHALE> I WANT TO BEAT YOUR FLABBY WHITE ASS

from yeahimadork :

I just found your diary (because I am the last one to find ANYTHING remotely entertaining), and I saw your "mail offer" entry. Is that still your address? Cause if so, I am going to make a CD and send it... since it's your life's pleasure and all. You like Hilary Duff, right?

from hannahlore :

Wow, it's been a long time since i was at your page. Hm...what does drink strong mean exactly?

from mentalimages :

You mean it's not "wet your appetite?" What is it then?

from wyosagekat :

Sturge, You really need to update more often. Please..................

from antinormalcy :

how did you become a boom operator? (if that's what it is)

from jaggedvision :

"People are pretty quick to judge when you're walking home from the corner store at 9:30am with a 12-pack of cheap beer in one hand and an ice cream sandwich in the other. Jealousy will get you nowhere." LMAO! You are great.

from hairburner :

You are my fucking hero.

from hairburner :

Well, I am really glad you're staying. Especially when you drop bombs like that.

from diaryquotes :

Good, good. Next time in Austin, drinks are on me.

from squeeky :

Fine. Jack and coke it is. What? Jack straight up. Done. Word.

from maybeuknow :

I'm glad you aren't leaving us. We need someone to live through. I love your stories...don't ever stop writing. And when you are in Vegas I will buy you that drink.

from kristintracy :

:( can you feel my disappointment at your departure? can you? dammit, sturge. happy new year, wildman. luv, kristin

from schmarpy :

oh no you di'nt!

from squeeky :

what What WHAT??? No more entries?!? Whatever shall become of my pitiful day now? If you move, please send a forwarding address. If not, well then adios, it's been grand!

from acornotravez :

The Sturge. What an appropriate name for a morning talk show personality. Kill me NOW.

from n-9 :

Dang. Like what are the chances of that? Anyway, you da' man!

from lula :

I immediately thought of you when I saw the latest SBE. The STUUUUURGE!

from acornotravez :

Hey, I have a question. In your list of fave authors, you mention Strong Bad. Is that the Strong Bad from Homestar Runner? That's crazy go nuts.

from sleepingin :

it wasn't that lame :)

from nico-nico :

i appreciate your site thiiiis much (nico makes hand jestures, looks in mirror, blushes). it makes me laugh at random bits and it's good to know that people still get caked in mud from time to time. also, did you take the pictures that are on your banner? those are excellante'!! okay, uh, bye.(nico waves at computer screen and clicks send.)

from banefulvenus :

LOVE your site! Happy Thanksgiving!!

from n-9 :

hahahaha! gorilla cookies!!! THIS is why i like sturge. even the notes are hilarious. =D

from kimnsrv :

Sturge, u so ugly, if I shoved your face in dough it would make gorilla cookies. - Care of R. Foxx

from tinaster :

Oh Sturgie, don't leave me! Fine, leave me. I don't even give a care! *Do you remember saying that when you were a kid? ANyway, you are still gorgous and I will continue to have wet dreams about you after you leave.

from halfeducated :

you = awesome.

from booberella :

ah, well, fuck me sideways. i couldn't go to ACL fest because i got fired and had to move to columbus. i wanted to sweat my ass off and drink expensive beers and fight retarded crowds full of geeky wilco fans. too bad you didn't get to see "sloan". my favorite band. probably better than the cake show.

from meism :

did you give up on the idea of flying cheap to nola? did I forget to reply to that note? isn't october better? nola film fest? halloween? whatnot? come on.

from aphelion8 :

so your liver called today. he's declaring Jihad. pol pot, stalin, hitler, lenin, milosovic.. they're all backing him up. better get in fetal position.

from twobaddogs :

This is an affirmation for those of us who live in the port-a-potty backwater also known as San Antonio. May I make a few recommendations about places to go in San Antonio that suck a bit less than average? The Liberty Bar, Club Cohiba, The Davenport. That's about it.

from licalicious :

I played the drunken german game myself a few times. I got to 47 meters... I wonder if there is a finish line... I think I'd get dizzy if I played it drunk.

from sas1981 :

Cute pictures. However, everytime he said astrodome, he meant minute maid park.

from hairburner :

A little gift for you: www.funnyjunk.com/pages/smurf.htm It's a little scary without alcohol, but it does have smurfette, papa smurf and mr. t

from kimnsrv :

Man, Foreman bought my parents house in Huffman. Pretty decent fella. Although, I could have given you some dirt on that man that would have scored you two new grills......at least!

from snarkypants :

Hey, we drove through Luling on the way home from Port A on Sunday. If I had known Sturge was there enjoying the thump, I might have tried to hit it on Saturday. I loves me some Sturge.

from kimmikers :

Finally, someone else who likes Bombay better than Tanqueray. Cheers.

from kimmikers :

Just stumbled randomly upon your diary. Is nice to see a coherent, amusing drinker who capitalizes and punctuates. What kind of gin do you prefer?

from whiskeybabe :

lol youa funny fellow

from juddhole :

Lemme know when that drinking binge in Denver is. I could only hope to emulate the drunken-master by watching him practice his craft.

from golfwidow :

I'm sorry you lost your friend.

from dizzylexia :

that sucks. sorry.

from knock-first :

since you are a fellow drunk austinite artistic sort, appear to have a semi-coherent brain are (hopefully) not butt ugly, i'm about to give you a early christmas present. happyrainy (my sis's site) you remind me a lot of eachother (please dont kill me carrie). She only writes when she is trashed too... and unfortunately she is another bartender.

from dizzylexia :

can you punch keanu when the filming is over? if so can you punch him for me as well? pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?????

from suprgoddess :

aluminum foil...hahaa!!!

from dizzylexia :

man that bites. i hate getting burglared. so violating. especially when they get into your car and steal your newly purchased bottle of Goldschlager. cardboard? noooooo. aluminum foil. it will cause the sunlight to reflect into other driver's faces making you feel much much better. =)

from purplecigar :

Let me know how that cardboard window works for you, will ya?

from suprgoddess :

aw...wonky donkey's. they just trying to get a buzz off the clambake...right? "me first, me first..." no wonder they were vicious nibblers. Ha!

from bebeskid :

sturge, have keanu's people call my people, i may have a new gig for him. i can't give you details but i will say it involves a lawnmower and a shirtless ex moviestar.....if keanu's apprehensive i think these 5 crisp george washington's will change his mind...

from porktornado :

It has always been painful to watch keanu "act". I can only imagine how mortally painful it must be to watch him do the same scenes over and over. It might drive you to drinking.

from suprgoddess :

just thought i'd jump on the bandwagon of sturge fans! :P ehh...why not...you crack me up and i love that. *spanks*

from coquet :

www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com forum for today's drunk. go there. you'll like, sturgicus, you'll like.

from kristintracy :

sturge i am leaving you a note. woop. woop. i would like to make a gentle suggestion about your happiness. your lucky numbers are 87-3-65-11. people seek you out for friendship. (that was my impression of a fortune cookie.)

from meeshapeesha :

You're shooting with my future husband (Downey Jr.). I met him once and yes he is super fucked up but in a very good way.

from meeshapeesha :

Okay next time bring a camera. Nothing more funny than "naked man doing cartwheels."

from meism :

Hey, that last one was especially for you, if you couldn't tell. :)

from diaryquotes :

fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK! Not only are you missing a Sybris/Putty show by two days, but I can't make it because I'm working this Sunday, ASS ASS ASS! FUCK!! FUCK!

from golfwidow :

Figures you're bailing the tour the day *before* you get to my town.

from meeshapeesha :

You're going to Champaign but not Chicago? What's up with that?!?

from tinaster :

You ARE going to be updating while you are on the road RIGHT? You better be...I need you in my life! I want you! You have to keep me smiling while you are on the road...DO IT! Holla!

from golfwidow :

I wonder what would've happened if you'd told the person, "Yes, the chicken with vegetables comes with vegetables, but it doesn't contain any chicken."

from meeshapeesha :

There is nothing wrong with singing the Moon Song. BEST SONG EVER! Next time you get yelled at, just start singing it louder baby. ;)

from idiot-milk :

I was asked to leave the dinner table during a family gathering because I kept singing the Moon Song. And once, while out, I kept singing it and singing it, and a person stopped my brother to ask him if I was okay. It's just so damn catchy, you can't help yourself. Or, well, I can't, at any rate. Anyway, carry on, sir.

from pushpull :

your diary is the only one i've read at all in the last month, and is always the first i read. i was kind of wallowing in self-pity for a while and i didn't wish you a happy birthday. but i think maybe i'm just early for next year. i hope there was much drinkydrinky.

from diaryquotes :

Look on the bright side: Even if you had a woman, she sure as hell wouldn't want to come visit you in that town. So you'd still be alone.

from whatevaman :

happy late birthday. hope u got drunk and had fun. but not so drunk that u dont remember the fun. ;-]

from golfwidow :

Happy, happy birthday, you get one every year, so eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer.

from lameassgirl :

happy birthday dude

from tinaster :

Happy birthday Mr. Sturge! Woot woot! Holla!

from sugarts :

ok, so your bday is April 9th. You should have a contest with all your adoring fans and see who can send you the best bday card, then post the winner on your site. Unfortunately, I already put mine in the mail before I had this brilliant idea. DAGNABBIT!! That's ok though, not sure if I could ever beat that flaming Santa.

from candoor :

somehow I found myself here while wandering around looking for fantasy baseball players to join a live draft tonight and your kazillionth line is worth stealing so I figured I'd leave you a note to say thanks for the laugh :)

from pantasy :

god bless bourbon!

from elysium1982 :

banner curiosity got the best of me...and ended up pleasantly surprised. you rock.

from smurfygal :

I clicked on your banner and then spent the last couple hours reading every single one of your entries. It was nice to find a diary from someone born in the same decade as myself. Yes, I know I have no life. Have a smurfy day!

from faded-souls :

not trying to insult you or anything (well, i think he's cool anyways) has anyone ever told you that you look like Shawn Mullins?

from pantasy :

Any guy who gets a boner from the MacKenzie brothers is alright by me...

from tinaster :

This is prolly a stupid question...but who is that?

from false-apathy :

The last 'gay' unicorn? o.O

from sas1981 :

Guy I work with is cast as part of the football team filming out in Odessa right now. What is your part of the action?-Curious

from kristintracy :

Lord. It must get TIRING to have cyberchicks constantly telling you that they love giving blowjobs, etc. If I had someone ask me to be funny in 50 words or less, i would steal from you. (FYI)

from meism :

Dude. Are you working during SXSW again??

from booberella :

All girls DO love to give blow jobs. At least all the girls I know. You need to know some different girls.

from meism :

I cried. I love the Captain. And Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose and BeeBee. I'm old. P.S. I'm driving to SXSW this year and staying a bit longer. I can't wait.

from diaryquotes :

You have become king of the one sentence paragraph. It takes true genius to master that art. Bravo.

from candoor :

I don't remember how how got here but I leave this note to say I was...

from lmdlilly :

so apparently ladies come around here often telling you they heart you... no wonder you fall in love with someone new every few months. Who has all these options? Brian Cox is unreal... I hope he's your real dad too. The man is pure greatness.

from coquet :

sturge, do you have ANY IDEA how UNATTRACTIVE liver transpatients are?

from asweettale :

wowwww, this made me laugh. a lot/hard. i love it! you. are. brilliant!

from autumn-kitty :

Oh, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one with the beer can garden problem. Late at night when I stumble home, I proclaim myself leader of the aluminum cult and rant on to my 'followers' for hours.

from autumn-kitty :

You're fucking funny.

from fakingcool :

wizzlenord

from lameassgirl :

if you and knoxville both had eyes for me... you'd win the battle

from wedge-o-lime :

I heart you sturge, I heart your diary.....I am slightly under the influence right now.......heart, me:)

from lmdlilly :

Just thought i'd say, it's ok to fall in love with a new girl every few months... just make sure you've gotten rid of the last one first! Great diary....

from whiskydrops :

Your diary is the best damn thing on diary land. I half-way believe you are really Homer Simpson. Keep drinkin'

from life-like :

oh man just saw eric's trip in your profile. felt that needed a note to you. awesome.

from dreamsmasher :

I don't know how this happens, but I randomly click around on diaryland and read, only to realize that you are like the 6th person I have clicked on that is also from Texas, but you live in a slightly cooler city...Dallas blows...love your entries, short and salty

from rainbow-pebz :

Hangovers can be fun...when you're under 20

from booberella :

aw, hell. and harry dean stanton is so freaking cool, man. he was my best friend on anger management. mostly because i would say "no no, mr. stanton, the stage is THIS way," and he would say "call me harry dean!" ha. harry dean stanton. good times.

from greenthinker :

i heart you. you are hilarious. sally

from kornrockchic :

I must say...Your diary is some funny shit. So entertainingly (wow is that a word) funny, keep it up. We salute you.

from ursaminor2 :

k, look for the girl with the long auburn hair behind the bar but keep in mind pretty and single=easily annoyed in this case. I tell you this because you seem to have a brain and she may need a distraction....you need to drink less though....

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