messages to wickedcrazy:
(click here to add new message):

from geek-betty :
I love lamp. and I miss kel. I've moved and I don't know what is your email adress anymore. if you ever ever get on here - give me a shout out, please?
from serenaville :
So, uhmmmmm... yeah. Whenever you return, mind sending me your password? That would be spiff. Thanks! (serenavilleAThotmailDOTcom)
from coldandgray :
sigh. I really miss this girl...
from geek-betty :
dear fucktard: start writing again. and stop locking me out. dammit.
from cdnfoxychick :
*sigh* Where did you go?
from pantrypuff :
So sad. You're gone forever. Just wanted to let you know I still think about you and hope everything is OK.
from pantrypuff :
Come back. Or write to me. Oooh! I just decided I'm going to stalk you!
from toastcrumbs :
Hmmm, locked and no update in over three months. Now what the furryheck is that all about?
from pantrypuff :
LOCKEDDDDDDD?????
from geek-betty :
update dammit. I mean please.
from pantrypuff :
I know, Thursday is a big tv day. I hope you're doing great. I was sitting in my office the other day, playing with one of the stuffed animals you sent Dylan. When you're rich, you must come here and meet him :)
from pantrypuff :
Todd is dying for Sunny to come back!! 37...I don't even want to think about it. 37 is an odd numbered year and odd is bad. BAD. Didnt you know I'm a voodoo queen/superstitious witch?
from coldandgray :
GOODNESS, HOW I MISS THEE. Hope the nursing thing is as rewarding as I think it is.
from geek-betty :
I love you and I miss you. stop being so damned funny.
from geek-betty :
my little soul lights up when I see the red updated next to your name.
from coldandgray :
Lost = Meh. I miss Hurley.
from coldandgray :
WHAT THE EF!?!??! I did not see THAT coming. Yes, motherfucking LOST. We're next. Oy vey...
from coldandgray :
shit. it is not on here for another HOUR and TWENTY minutes. Now I am trying to guess why you screamed & I think I know, but I am always wrong. shit.
from glumphett :
Just letting everyone know I fixed my notes and guestbook features. Come and visit sometime and be sure to leave a note! :)
from pantrypuff :
Todd is obsessed with that show. And South Park. He has DVRed every freaking episode in the world.
from pantrypuff :
I KNOW! It's so weird. She is so cool, though. I would definitely want her to dump someone for me. She seems genuinely happy when people can work it out, though, not like she's just in there to be a bitch. Which I would enjoy as well...
from mgb :
wow. its been so long since i've been by. things sound like they're going well. you're going to be a nurse?!?! effin fantastic. i'm on myspace mostly now but i hope you have a profile and will come check it out. it'd be to hard for me to write in here, there and my old fashioned journal. to much neurosis to spread. it was nice to read your words, i'm going to make it a regular thing again. http://www.myspace.com/skinshark
from pantrypuff :
One purse, not one Dylan :)
from pantrypuff :
Thanks!! I wanted to send you one, but I need your address!
from coldandgray :
Hope you had a NICE Birthday, lady.
from sanetwin :
I love lamp.
from dukkha-tanha :
WTF. NOw I have to find the other Kelly. I swear it was you. Eh. You still rule.
from dukkha-tanha :
Kelly, you rule. Thanks so much for the info. I'm going to look into it. Unless that dumbass comes home and pisses me off which will mean I won't just to be a bitch.
from jimmysworld :
I was going to talk about Baldwin puking, but my last comment was also about puke.
from serenaville :
I was supposed to bartend at Tokes' Joint on Superbowl Sunday. I'm ticked that I'm going to miss it, because, yeah: Killer tips. Your last couple entries had me laughing so hard. (The Angelina snap. HEE!) Sort of like that self-convulsing laughter. Which I kept doing at random points during the remainder of the drive, everytime I so much as flashed back to the hand puppet thing. Classic. :D
from gumphood :
Go Bus Go Bus ... GO GO GO BUS.
from coldandgray :
Haha! I sent you that email & THEN saw your notes. I feel strange for not watching it yet. I am terrified of spoilers. I am going to walk around today with my fingers in my ears yelling "NAH NAH NAH!!!"
from coldandgray :
...The SNL skit on My Sweet 16 gave Scarlett a bit of redemtion, but the flame red boobage dress made it an even exchange.
from head-unbowed :
Kel, I would NEVER "hate" you or even be angry about you saying something to me out of concern. First off, only a real friend will tell you if your skirt is tucked into your panties. But, I do have a question...what exactly about the previous entry concerned you? I talked about school and work primarily....As for Bug...of course he wasn't home. The truth is, I wasn't home either. I wouldn't have invited such a stranger to MY house. I wouldn't have invited him with Bug around. I don't even have Alex around him and he and I have been friends for years. The truth is that last night wasn't about justifying anything for me. It wasn't about anything more than what it was...Not that there haven't been nights that were more like that. Last night wasn't.
from serenaville :
Thank you so much for adding Serenaville to your faves/buddy list! It's warming to know you'll be reading. As soon as I renew my Supergold membership, the place won't look so hoopty. The writing, fortunately or unfortunately, will remain the same. Glad to have you, at any rate! Thanks again! -Serena :)
from awittykitty :
Go check it out again. I just messed up some code. Thanks. :-)
from coldandgray :
Hey Toots! Did you see the Face eating tumor? YIE! Or the 750 lb man? YIEE! Or the half a lady? That one really got me.
from sunshine0221 :
Just found your journal via crazy4muffin and you are so added to my favorites. Now I have to go read archives!
from sanetwin :
GO back to your home on whore island!!
from coldandgray :
whisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisper. (My others impression. Good, huh?)
from plopphizz :
Congrats, you have been Quoted: http://quoted.diaryland.com/dogday.html. Thanks for the great writing. -- Ploppy.
from cdnfoxygirl :
EARLY next week!
from cdnfoxygirl :
Just to let you know, I totally haven't forgotten to send those clothes. I just got poor enough that the postage was a little out of my reach =( things are looking up now, I'll send it out next week!
from somstar :
I can never read your entries anymore my computer always says "trying to connect to flickr.com and it never does :(
from jimmysworld :
Sorry I made you puke. ... oh wait. No I'm not!
from jimmysworld :
You are so stupid sometimes. Don't you see that all I wanted was to get you to sleep with me and then dump you. Why don't you fall into these traps
from lissacakes :
Thanks! I actually feel like I rock... let's give it about two more hours and my head will be back to normal, deflated size.
from coldandgray :
Hey.
from yeahimadork :
Well, hey. Thanks for adding me to your favorites! I was stalled at 99 for so long and now I have 100. TRIPLE DIGITS, BITCHES. Also, I had a mad crush on Jarvis Cocker and all his randy-ness.
from cdnfoxygirl :
What size is Molly? The girls have several outfits like that that they have grown out of (at least my PsychoAsianEx and his family were good for something) and I can just toss one or two in the mail if they'd fit.
from goldieknox03 :
im back. if youd like the password let me know.
from sanetwin :
"Boo make me a peanut butter sandwich"
from cdnfoxygirl :
Fuck her. That's awful enough parenting to warrant a call to what ever child services you have around there. Honestly, I can't believe some people. Do you have PayPal? I don't have much either, but I'll pitch in to help buy the kid a helmet. If not, I can mail something.
from head-unbowed :
I Am just now reading the last few entries...I was going to say "you so need to record him" then got to the entry where you DID, even if unintentionally. ha
from r-y-r :
Hi Kelly, I hope things are ok with you, your last entry (the last one I was able to read) has me a bit worried. I hope you are well and was wondering if you would let me have the user name and password, if you can, email me at prittyber@yahoo.com.
from untamedwings :
My coffee just hit the monitor...just thought I'd share. That was too funny.
from jimmysworld :
You are certainly funny...in certain ways...
from divacowgirl :
You are freaking hilarious and I have added you to my favorites!
from twangry :
Would it doubly kill you to know that I get all my chores and cleaning done by about 7:30am too? I spend the rest of the day goofing off guilt-free. Go me!
from dukkha-tanha :
Personally, I can't wait til my daughter goes to school. My son, however, will have me bawling like a baby his first day. BUt that's not for a year as we have no public kindergarten here and I cannot afford it. Anyway...mushrooms? I dabbled in them growing up, but not as much as acid. We were the opposite here, more paper than fungus. I always hated the taste of them. The last time I did them? New year's of this year. It made me remember why I gave up psychedelics 15 years ago. Oy.
from untamedwings :
Awww huge hugs. I'll be going thru a similar scenario next week ♥
from untamedwings :
Awww huge hugs. I'll be going thru a similar scenario next week ♥
from dukkha-tanha :
You're all like six degress of separation with every other famous person I mention lately. What up wit dat? How do you relate to Kevin Bacon? And, um, if you lock up, I'm at dukkha-tanha@diaryland.com and that's where you can send me my password info. Not that I'm entitled to it or anything, but I'll act like I am. =)
from wickedcrazy :
I'm showing up on search engines. til i fix that, its locked. email me at wickedkelly at gmail if you want in.
from gumphood :
Thats funny. I usually piss on Amy Lee.
from somstar :
haha amy lee pisses me off too!
from jimmysworld :
I bet you'd be smarter if you weren't blonde
from coldandgray :
well shoot, Kelly. I was half-packed and already started buying my plane ticket for your wedding!
from twangry :
Thanks for the re-add. I now contain 40% less misery.
from crazy4muffin :
I just checked out the pics of you and your girl. First, she in insanely cute. Second, you look much like a Texas debutante. Is that a bad thing to say? Because it wasn't meant to be.
from wickedcrazy :
I invented the monorail.
from gumphood :
Kelly rides the Monorail
from wickedcrazy :
Jimmy, you've really mastered the art of stating the obvious. Congratulations.
from jimmysworld :
Dude, you were a geek of a kid huh?
from vickithecute :
Yep, same high school. I wish I could say we were friends or something but I honestly never took any notice of him. He was just a geeky little kid to me. Matter of fact, his grandfather was James Rouse, developer extraordinaire (and founder of Columbia, MD where I grew up) and I never even knew that until he (Ed that is, not Mr Rouse) reached fame. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I first saw an ad for Primal Fear. I screeched "Hey, I know that kid" and ran for the yearbook. (course, I later found out that he was "bestest buddies" with a friend of mine....ah, so close and yet so far.....)And thanks for the kudos on the pics - the second is my favorite too. Her birthday was the 28th though, not the 30th. And happy birthday Kelly!! (and this ends my longest ever Diaryland note)
from my-solitaire :
How's the stenograph machine working out for you? And yeah all the chicks on those kind of shows look a like but especially that one ;)
from awittykitty :
Thanks for adding me as a favorite. I had to wait FOUR years for Section Eight. They ARE a pain in the ass, but they do help.
from dukkha-tanha :
I love when I make you spit your drink or have it come out your nose. I'd love it more if I could actually see it happen, but I'll settle for just knowing that I have that power. =)
from coldandgray :
Did you know you are exactly on your 200th entry? Cool. Congrats. and yes, D'land was tweaking on me all morning, but I think I tricked it into working for the time being, I hope.
from wickedcrazy :
Jimmy, you should be nice to her. when youre arrested for selling your pimply ass to old men again, she might be prosecuting the case. Go insult people on your own site. or at least on the sites of people who suck!
from jimmysworld :
Hey Crazy 4 Muffin. Thats the worst name I have ever seen. Lord.
from crazy4muffin :
I don't mind you asking my opinion on bit- hell, who are we kidding, I love to hear myself talk. The defendant will have to serve at least half the 35 year sentence before he is even eligible for parole. Seventeen and 1/2 very long years. Even then, he is probably looking at servicing 3/4 of the entire sentence. I am pro death penalty. I do not take the responsibility lightly. I am always a bit befuffled by the persons that stand in the streets with signs yelling "fry him". I have to do the actual cases, but I don't make a sceen in the streets. I would like to see swifter executions and I will also go out on a limb and say the types of offenses to which it applies should be extended. I am thinking specifically of sexual predators. I'm glad that DA worked so hard for your grandparents. I have seen a lot of DA's crash and burn in this business. I learned a long time ago not to bring my work home with me. If you don't have a sanctuary and a way to shake it off, it can truly drive you crazy. Thanks for your support; it means more than most realize to hear gratitude.
from crazy4muffin :
In re the asshole dentist. My dad was career military; thankfully he is alive and intact. Unfortunately many of his buddies are not. To go through with your plan to turn this asshole in would be one of the most decent acts you could show the men and women of the armed services. He is ripping a guy off for a measy $125?! Hopefully that "freedom" he is so enjoying now, thanks to the armed services, will be cut short with a stint in the pen. Man that makes me sick to my stomache.
from lissacakes :
About your entry, all I have to say is... mothers... there's a reason why that's where therapy always ends up.
from lissacakes :
Pretty sure I would. We're entrenched in this going-Dutch, having dinner bimonthly, Friends thing. We take turns paying. Plus, he doesn't make much more than me... though he does have fewer bills... but anyway, I think I'd have to pay my way...
from coldandgray :
Glad you got a good feeling about your classes. Lots of women in your same boat, so you are not alone. About my friend, she decided to forgive him, even after she got a letter from the chick that included copies of some love emails her husband had written to this other woman. YIE!
from coldandgray :
Hey Kelly,I guess what I really meant to say about your bday post was that although it sucks horrifically that you had to start all over after your break-up, you still have plenty of time to reach your goals. You are doing exceptionally well moving on. You got right back up & started again. You should feel good about that.
from my-solitaire :
I just emailed you! Don't delete it lol!
from my-solitaire :
I hav eno idea what links you're talking about :o/ Maybe it was because I was switching the images over to the dland server? Are you talking about the links under "navagation"? Oh and I only know like 2 songs on your playlist but my boyfriend knows them all lol
from my-solitaire :
I was actually thinking about plotting something devious ^_^ But I think I'll just tlak to him instead!
from timespace :
Just when I thought everything was going to go back to normal, he decided to finally admit he did "do it" after denying it a billion times. So annoying.
from wickedcrazy :
Cause I am! I'm also incredibly hot. No, really, I am. it's like 105 here today.
from sanetwin :
Whats up with all of this "you're so nice" crap??
from my-solitaire :
You're so nice! :o) yeah I had to go to gcaaonline.org for financial assistance and they can see me on Monday, so hopefully that'll help, but I don't think they'll help me with the gas bill since that total also includes my $150 dollar deposit I owe :o( And I just got me Electric bill in the mail LMAO $132 I am so going down hill.... I'll do everything I can to stay here though. Thanks for all the advice, if it werent for you than I would've never went searching for finiancial aide :)
from untamedwings :
I wasn't such a fan way back but I agree Billy Vera owned that show this week. His second song got me bigtime. He just seemed so...sincere? Maybe thats it. Don't even get me started on Solid Gold. in my mind I WAS going to be a Solid Gold Dancer when I grew up.
from timespace :
Thank you, K, you are so nice.
from timespace :
Thank you, Kelly. I had to tell her. I have written the conclusion, if you want to find out what happened.
from lissacakes :
I have one for you already. Perhaps, try all lower-case... may be case sensitive.
from coldandgray :
I need your help with something. Please go to my other diary: http://timespace.diaryland.com/
from my-solitaire :
haha! I just changed the wording of the entry, I don't think I should sound too excited about a picture of my bathroom! lol Where do you live, maybe it's the same complex O_o????
from my-solitaire :
LMFAO. You don't sound liek a bitch, you sould like you were just really pissed off and aggravated, it mader me laugh though Your layout is great but your writing is even better!
from lissacakes :
Ugh, that so the case with my first long-term boyfriend. Four years, from 18-22 years old. He was most of the stranger things from yesterday's list. The most recent guy, the guy of today's entry, I have a hard time quite labeling his particular psychosis. Don't think it's a possession issue there, but he is nuts, that's for certain.
from lissacakes :
I'm pretty much pissed off for me, too. I'm curbing the itch to make excuses for #3 at the moment. Biting tongue. Anyway, it helps to hear that these things are a given, because I don't think it'd go over very well if I had to start giving out that survey.
from coldandgray :
{{{......... C R Y ............}}}
from goldieknox03 :
Im so glad molly is ok. Anemia and allergies suck, but Im soo sooo glad its not worse. I take it she took those allergy tests were they prick your arm? is that right? im just assuming. Those are a total pain. SHe is such a trooper:)
from lissacakes :
Mud wrestling!
from coldandgray :
Such a sweet comment, thank you. That mother/daughter relationship can be pretty special. I am glad you have that with Molly.
from untamedwings :
Hugs & more hugs. I have had that happen just once & had to entertain the idea that something could be very wrong with my child. Such an awful place filled with thoughts you can't let yourself fully think. I'm here if you need an ear. Her dad...what a fuckhead. Seriously.
from lissacakes :
Yes, it is the hardest, especially when they won't leave you alone. Bastards.
from lissacakes :
I will be 24 in about a month, so I guess it is the age for vacations. I might not come back for awhile either. Get a job as a tour guide or something...
from lissacakes :
To further your jealousy and hunger, I could tell you how I ate the leftovers all day yesterday, but then I'd have to admit how I ate off the McDonald's $1 menu for lunch.
from gumphood :
I didn't get your note. I mean. I could ask my squid, but he's missing.
from sanetwin :
update. I'm bored and I don't want to study.
from lissacakes :
I've been to all but the ghost towns, so that may win out. I said This Weekend, but usually that means I think about it for three months before I finally get off my butt and do it.
from lissacakes :
I did make me feel better! How did you know that that's exactly what kind of people they were. I showed up in birkenstocks, a brown cotton tank, and old jeans and everyone else was fresh from pedicures in their perfect spring emsembles. And the baby shower was at Postino Wine Cafe. Okay, well I like Postino Wine Cafe, but still...
from lissacakes :
I did make me feel better! How did you know that that's exactly what kind of people they were. I showed up in birkenstocks, a brown cotton tank, and old jeans and everyone else was fresh from pedicures in their perfect spring emsembles. And the baby shower was at Postino Wine Cafe. Okay, well I like Postino Wine Cafe, but still...
from sanetwin :
&hearts I hope you and Molly are having a good day!
from lissacakes :
Oh, but the whole department is going with the big boss and it's just gonna be her dictating conversation and we'll all be vying for attention. Worst of all, we won't be able to hear each other because there's some lame cover band playing for "Cinco de Mayo."
from lissacakes :
Yes! And they were in the most adorable little pot that my (ex)boyfriend bought for me to put some now deceased yellow calla lilies in. I don't understand how people can see cute things and take them. I know people are scum - that is not surprising. But how can they even enjoy them when they didn't go pick them out? When they don't have any story behind them? Well, I think they must be boring, empty shells of people that put out stolen daisies and turtles so people walking by will see them and assume the shell-people have stories behind them and aren't the worthless, vile waste they are. Humph!
from coldandgray :
Hey SPAZ! High five!
from vickithecute :
Hey, that's not a bad idea. Bobby's a cop. When he comes here to visit, I'll make sure he brings his uniform or something and he can give Ben a nice scare. Heh.
from lissacakes :
Do you remember when Sunflowers was all the rage? I was in middle school. I remember asking for it for Christmas and wearing it even though it gave me the most violent headache. That stuff reeked.
from daktrix :
"The damn spider wasnt in my hair after all. He was just sitting on the side of the tub, I'm sure laughing at me." Bahaha, how hilarious. You cracked me up, for real...and you also have a lovely layout, if that counts of something.
from sanetwin :
happy having been in the worst pain in your entire life and then getting the best gift ever day Mom!
from sanetwin :
oh tard, the poopingest kid in the west just clogged my toilet again. hahahhaha.
from lissacakes :
I have a little extra money for now. Payoff from a totaled car. But I have no idea how I will afford it later. Selling plasma and turning tricks, I suppose.
from lissacakes :
Yes, I will be able to sleep tonight knowing that a few of the world's sweetest, nicest people are devoting some energy to me.
from lissacakes :
When my mother first refound God, I was in middle school and she was NUTS. Like she threw out all of our Disney movies, because Pastor said the Hidden Hollywood Agenda was carefully woven through all Disney movies. She has since mellowed out - and I have moved three hundred blissful miles away - our relationship is better.
from lissacakes :
Ugh.
from pirate-witch :
aw thankyou so much! id really like thaT!-millie
from untamedwings :
Argh. Nothing worse than a significant other crashing your ALONE time! I swear. When John does that I want to stab him! With a blunt knife, repeatedly.
from arc-angel666 :
I sorry your entries aren't showing up when they should but rest assured I read you, after all who wouldn't read a girl that poops her pants and flushes her panties down the toilet lol.
from sanetwin :
Two words for you. Poop. Soup.
from long-ignored :
Talk about a new take on an old game. I had never thought about it in those terms...to think that I am actually the one with the power...baffles me actually. And thrills me a little bit. I think I may test this out some. Thanks for the insight and input.
from pumpkinhouse :
Pooping chicken!!! That's awesome. I would have thought the same thing.
from pashiesplace :
Thank you, I needed that laugh!
from andreeb :
Comments: I know! I don't know what the eff. I'm wondering if D-land is blocking them for some reason because I can'tget them back on. It's really pissing me off.
from gumphood :
the pirate diary?
from andreeb :
I want Diaryland to be back to normal. I feel weird without all my buddylist down the side...Hope everything's OK with you and the relatives...
from pumpkinhouse :
I'm beginning my love affair with The Smiths (why didn't I notice them before!?!...dur). This Charming Man hooked me, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now and The Boy With The Thorn In His Side kept me listening. And of course Bigmouth Strikes Again makes me think of you...
from pumpkinhouse :
Reading Perdido Street Station is slow going. I started reading it in the bathtub one night when I was between books, not really expecting anything, and the story just pulled me in. I was hooked. But then I put it down and haven't really fooled with it for the past 3 weeks. Then the other day I dusted it off and got involved again. But today I bought magazines so it will probably be relegated to the bookshelf for a few more weeks. I'm a periodical ho.
from pharie :
i have since gone to a specialist and got it taken care of. it came on after i went swimming 3 days in a row... it was a nasty infection but apparently fixable. i cried for days at the slightest sound. the toilet flushing was the loudest thing ever. needless to say... i dont go swimming anymore.
from pharie :
hello dear... i have ben reding around in your dl and i would read it all right now if i didnt have to go drink some booze and kick some ass in pool. i found you in dukkha's favorites and i trust that she wouldnt read anything not worthy... i look forward to reading more and im sorry your baby is away for a bit. i wish i could say i understand but i have no children so i can only begin to try and fathom what it means to be without... hang in there... =)
from pumpkinhouse :
Kelly is a nut, she has a rubber butt, and every time she turns around it goes "putt putt".
from vickithecute :
Hosanna ho zanna zanna zanna HO! Zanna ho zanna hosanna!!!!
from pumpkinhouse :
:P
from sanetwin :
I want dsl. I'm thinking about you even though you're at home getting drunk by yourself. ha ha. dweeb. Oh wait, I mean i love you ..... :)
from hertinyhands :
That's funny. My subconcious knows you well enough from reading through your entries to know that about you. I've had diaryland dreams before about Betty (sanetwin) and Tania (pashiesplace) too, but the fact that mine about you had to do directly with what you wrote the day before was funny. The username for my diary is "lux" and the password is "veritas" It's not very upbeat lately though. ;)
from sanetwin :
I've been obsessively reloading your page to look at your flicker photos. Molly is just so darn beautiful!
from daze-of-rain :
Kel, I respect your opinion so very much. I am always up for wickedcrazy wisdom [smile]...I have no intentions of jumping into anything. Nor leaving Brian for another person. At this point Addison and I are the primary concerns I have...It's just been one hell of a wake-up call...even in the midst of getting along better than we have (consistently that is) for the entirety of our marriage...I still am not 'feelin it' so to speak.
from andreeb :
Oh my God, I almost added the Bloody Mary part, but I thought it would be too many Mary references :)) I made Molly's scarf last night. Now I'm working on Betty's.
from daze-of-rain :
I love your new layout. Elliot Smith AND EE Cummings? You so rock! Thank you so much for your note...it's funny because as I reread that entry all I could think was..."Why did this bother me so much? It's nothing new...not really." but I think I started hoping again...and I swore I never would do that where he was concerned. I've always thought 'without expectations there can be no disappointment' and I let myself expect...hope...etc. Anyhow...I think you are amazing and your sweet words mean so much to me. Much love to you also my dear.
from sanetwin :
What kind of shirt do you want?
from andreeb :
Comments have arrived!
from sanetwin :
get it... ha ha the cop is the dick?! Ha ha. WHew. I kill me. Analise and Lamby sang all night. Wish Molly could join in with her lamby. Have I made you smile yet? Ill keep thinking. I have no sense of humor.
from sanetwin :
*la la la la la* I'm doing my Julie Andrews impression. So here's a joke: A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
from daze-of-rain :
lol of COURSE...They are ALL Teasers...dontcha know?
from andreeb :
Why thank you, dahling. One of the things I am really grateful for this year is having met you. We truly are dorks separated at birth. BTW, I'm sending you an email...
from andreeb :
Happy new year!
from andreeb :
I miss him already. Did you see last night's repeat. Where the dead guy has a pack of cigs and Lennie says, "That's one way to quit." The man is a GOD.
from andreeb :
I miss him already. Did you see last night's repeat. Where the dead guy has a pack of cigs and Lennie says, "That's one way to quit." The man is a GOD.
from andreeb :
OK, now I'm crying, you bastard :)
from andreeb :
Thanks :) Sadly, he was not a redhead. Brunette. It took me until the 5th grade to tell him and Niall apart. I was feeling kind of sad about him today because I had a dream about him last night. Look at me, pining away for my lost non-love...
from andreeb :
The Puppetmaster. Must add that to my list. I haven't heard of it. And as for Todd -- if you met him, you'd think, "Oh he's a nice guy" and might forget him 10 minutes later. But, man, if you get to know him, he's fucking hilarious and downright evil. The side he hides from others...
from andreeb :
You read his story??? So cool. He'll be happy to know :) Speaking of boogers (really, let's not..), I used to be very grossed out by spit bubbles too. What is it with me and upper body fluid?
from andreeb :
I meant to ask you -- what is that quote on the top of your profile page? I love it...
from andreeb :
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Evil indeed :)
from andreeb :
You're going to hurt me now, aren't you?
from andreeb :
Oh, MAN. That, in my book, is as close to sibling treason as it GETS. I would have had to retaliate with something like, "Oh, I meant to ask you -- is it OK if I start seeing Cliff? He's really a good guy. You just took everything the wrong way..." :)))
from andreeb :
Oh God. Snot. It is my downfall. Blood, spit, shit -- whatever. But snot? People said I'd get used to it, but no. I gag at the site of it. Even my own. Winter and allergy season are a bitch. By the way, you must think I'm schizo with how much my layout keeps changing. I'm new at this, so I'm trying to find one I really like and customize it, so every day I'm like, No, that sucks...
from andreeb :
Thank God its in the 40s today so the dogs could stay outside while Josh trashed the joint. Going to the homeless shelter with Josh right now. Will post upon returning!
from sanetwin :
Merry Christmas oh snarky one.
from andreeb :
God, I post from work all the time too. It's so ridiculous, though. Newspapers are so touchy about this kind of crap and I'm always paranoid I'll get fired and Josh will have to eat Spam and lard for the rest of his life.
from andreeb :
My friend Janet is a great baker. She can cater our meetings.
from andreeb :
Todd says we should have a tougher name for our gang: The Womb Bitches. Or the Womb Bats. I like :) Womb Bitches have tough trees, too. None of this bald tree action like I've got going on. You make a convincing argument for a fake tree.
from andreeb :
We could call ourselves The Wombs. We could name all our rumbles after movies: Womb With A View, Romper Womb, Womb to a Kill...The Walking Wombed.
from andreeb :
So true -- or better yet, she would have shaved off all her hair so no one could grab it in a fight, as anyone who has ever been in a gang brawl will tell you. (Did that sound convincing? I want to be in a gang. I could be a 33-year-old gang banger with a Spongebob keyring as my weapon of choice...)
from gumphood :
I completly agree. Its the best. I am so happy. I am going to review it at my review site since she requested not to have it reviewed
from sanetwin :
That review was actually REALLY good. I had one where the chick said my life was boring and I was whiney. Pissed me off pretty good lol. I think I'm done w/reviews though.
from andreeb :
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa! That's fucking hilarious!!
from andreeb :
There are about 5,000 ButtHeads in this city. All are downtown couriers. Meanwhile, Josh is now cussing us out. I just did a short update on his expanding vocabulary. Lord...
from andreeb :
'Cause suicide is painless, it brings on many changes, and I can take or leave it if I please... I thought of that all last week while watching Alan Alda on the West Wing. Thanks for saying that about Josh. Pretty soon I'm going to write an entry about how he has learned to insult us. Me: "Josh, don't torch the Xmas tree." Him: "Stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk!"
from sanetwin :
Ha! I just noticed the *passionless kiss* ribbon. I want one!!! I'm thinking of redoing my site with one of the fantastically sarcastic Anne Taintor images. Would you lend me a hand? Gotta love our friend Phil :)
from daze-of-rain :
and exactly why I shouldn't think as well...I try to stop...I really do. I just can't fucking stop. As for being 'the only one' I am exactly the same way...but damn it if I don't have all kinds of double standards. I'm all about one way roads and hypocricy it seems.
from meli-melo :
The Mister is completely deaf in his left ear and has been since he was 2. He likes to tell people (when they inevitably ask how it happened) that he stuck a pencil in his ear . He didn't, but the look on peoples' faces when he says that are always priceless. Money can't buy fun like that!
from daze-of-rain :
It's funny how sleeping with someone can show so much about a relationship...Some people are cover hogs (selfish) some take up your side of the bed (smotherers) some cling to their side (afraid to commit) and some...just fit. Not that that means all will be great from then on...but it's a good showing of the natural chemistry between two people. Now if only I could figure out how to cut out the part of his brain that causes him to be a lying cheating cad.
from arc-angel666 :
Hi Wicked Crazy: I hate those kind of dreams with all my heart. They are terrifing. I am so glad it was a dream. Your Sweet little Molly sounds so wonderful and its good to know she's okay. I have experienced horrible nightmares in the past, right after getting out of the Army. They lasted a long time. Then my worst nightmare actually came true. I'm not sure you want to hear about it considering what you just went through, but if you do, read /September 19th it still hurts/ in my old entry section of my diary. Once again I am over joyed that You and Molly are okay.
from arc-angel666 :
Okay you can't throw and you can't catch a football. But you did say you thought you'd look pretty damn good playing in the mud. There's a lot to be said for a woman who looks good covered in mud. Next time you can be on my team, we were the best looking team covered in mud or not:-)
from sanetwin :
Kelly - I am thankful for the fact that we have become friends. I adore you and Molly. Happy thanksgiving!
from arc-angel666 :
Jesus Tap dancing Christ, I'm never eating at your house and God I hope I never piss you off LOL. I love reading your stuff very funny...now I not sure if I should say this but I live in California and feel safe in the thought you can't get to me so here goes Happy Thanksgiving lol.
from daze-of-rain :
the biggest difference in that is you are still with Tige. It wasn't some random fuck for fucking's sake...and that's all this girl was. He spoke to her a week prior and never again after I 'caught' him...she was a nothing...And although I'm not prefect (or even close) I would never throw my family away on a nothing...And I feel as that he did...ANd if nothing is worth losing me...what's that make me? How sad is that train of thought? LOL...anyhow, I'm justing saying...You were in a bad marriage...and unhappy...his marriage is bad because HE's made it that way. (way to spin huh?) [smile]
from r-y-r :
Hey, I wanted to thank you for the note, I am going to have to try the grannies advice, it certainly cant hurt and I can have a lot of fun trying. Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving!!
from arc-angel666 :
Hello: I was surfing the members section and came across Wicked Crazy....I thought hey me too. Thought I'd take a peek. Yikes! Your bleeding the death...I thought maybe I should call a Doctor, then realized it was the dreaded Period. Sorry your not feeling well and glad your not going to bleed to death. I decided to venture a little further back into your diary, very funny stuff and a Very pretty Daughter. My name is Michael nice to meet you, I just wish I'd dropped in on another entry lol. Just kidding.
from daze-of-rain :
you write so achingly beautiful Kelly. You convey your feelings and experiences in such a poetic way. And even the pain is artistic. You truly are an amazing writer. And an incredible woman.
from sanetwin :
*kiss* I love you too!
from daze-of-rain :
I got the impression that you were somewhat close to me from something you said...Huh, maybe not...Where are you?
from daze-of-rain :
AND I just saw that you added me, and with such a great comment...thank you (but as you may have noticed...occasionally those swear words just drip off the tongue too easily to avoid...ahhh how I love the word fuck!!!)
from daze-of-rain :
Thank you for the laugh (and I'm sorry about the husband...which was it? short? Small? Puny Brain? lol)
from sanetwin :
Peach still makes me puke.
from sanetwin :
Dood, seriously, do I leave way too many notes? I'm a note leaving fool. That misspells dude. Any how, I just wanted to let you know, (okay getting sappy here, putting aside sarcasm, cheesiness, barbs, making fun of, all our usual bag of tricks) that part of the reason why I feel so close to you as well is because of what you said too. Because you are one of the few people who can truly understand what I've been through and not just empathize, but KNOW what it was like. I feel, okay weird, like we're almost like sisters. I mean c'mon are moms are both satan right?! That has to make us related somehow!
from lostgrl26 :
I love Halloween look on your site- great job! I have to say October and Halloween are just my favorite times of the year.
from sanetwin :
Apple face has to be the best best best term of endearment I've ever heard. I so wish I could wrap Molly dolly up in hugs and kisses.
from sanetwin :
where be you hoe? I miss you darling.
from sanetwin :
OH MY FUCKING GOD . I want to see Shaun of the dead soooo bad!! I was trying to talk Matt into taking me today.
from sanetwin :
Hey. .. . what happened with Tige? And how is my honey's best-not-yet-met-friend, molly dolly doing?
from westyrex :
My honey, Galaxy, directed me to your site. She's told me about your daughter, and how she loves her paintings, and her stories, etc. To finally see you guys is wonderful. You're both lovely!
from gumphood :
For some reason I thought you lived in Pittsburg, but I have heard diffrent.
from sanetwin :
I misssss you. blluueeee moon. I found you standing alone. I drank too much cough syrup and didn't find an entry from you today. sigh.
from gumphood :
well you're funny. Am I am lame. What's wup1?
from sanetwin :
Hmm. They don't need to be Irish boys.
from sanetwin :
I would love to go to live with you. .. . we need to get us some nice strong Irish boys to build us that crazy mom house and SOON. Analise is dying to meet Molly :).
from gumphood :
Well...how much do you like Pearl Jam. Scale of 1 to 10, and then fav album.
from gumphood :
anything that makes me feel closer to Eddie, is the drink for me.
from gumphood :
wait. like jager, can't drink bud? did I get that right?
from pumpkinhouse :
It wasn't your comment or your diary silly. Relax, you're off the hook, lol.
from wickedcrazy :
I thought about the fixins for smores. But if everthing burnt down, there would be no where to set all thats needed. a bag of marshmallows can safely and easily be tucked under an arm or between legs. Always thinking ahead, I am.
from gumphood :
a bag full of masrshmellows? Oh snap. Bad taste. Get the choclate and gramhe crackers (incidentally the only time a gramha cracker tastes good)
from gumphood :
hahaha. minimilist.
from pumpkinhouse :
My layout is not sad, it's minimalist. So lay off. :P
from pumpkinhouse :
You know, of anything anyone has ever said to me, "you're blue" ranks in the top 3. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without you (and Betty). Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow, I just need to shift my perspective a little (or a lot).
from sanetwin :
The clown guy was my ex-boyfriend jeff on halloween last year LOL LOL
from sanetwin :
Ummm dude, I would smack sue if I were you.
from sanetwin :
Thanks for the layout advice. But wtf is up with ugly scrollbar color?? Why do I suck at HTML so much??? huh? c'mon Kel, tell me why I do, lol.
from sarafem :
Hi, sorry I haven't come this way before but I just now saw that I had comments on my political rant from almost a MONTH ago - haloscan has it registered at zero comments. Anyway I just wanted to say I feel your pain with the financial/welfare situation and it's nice to hear someone else's story! Someday I want to make a big national campaign to add to welfare and I want to take as many personal stories as I can find for it. Thanks for stopping by and talk to you later!
from sanetwin :
HA HA HA HA Ha oh *wipes spit off keyboard* wow that message to Amber was filarious!
from pumpkinhouse :
You know, hairless and unlined makes me think of Dr. Evil's cat from Austin Powers. Was that his name, Dr. Evil?
from pumpkinhouse :
Kel, help me...I'm so goddamn grumpy right now, I could smack someone (myself probably). I guess I need a fucking nap. Wah wah wah, woe is me...pity party at my house. Blarg.
from pumpkinhouse :
I'm not entirely sure I like it, it's surprisingly a big change. It's very stark and well, black. I need some fishnet stockings, Dr. Marten's 8-eyelets, and black lipstick, and then I'll be ready to go to the mall and beat up the other Goths.
from pumpkinhouse :
Nice'n'Easy natural black.
from gothsmurf04 :
hhaahaa ok..
from pumpkinhouse :
I take such pleasure in making people think about some dumbass thing I've said at inopportune times. If that's wrong I don't want to be right. KERMY!!!
from pumpkinhouse :
Well, a blow job might get me some money to buy a digital camera and a drum set with, and pay a babysitter so I can go out whoring - I have a red feather boa that would be perfect. Although I feel a little like I should wear some satin opera gloves and shout like Miss Piggy when I wear it.
from galaxyrabbit :
sometimes yogurt just totally clams up, and sometimes it doesn't and you just have to listen really closely!!
from gothsmurf04 :
so instead of leavign me a note u leave ur self an ote on hopes that id answer
from wickedcrazy :
They might have remade it but the song is Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths, my favorite band ever. I'll have to look for the version you know.
from gothsmurf04 :
hey after a while of eading ur dairy and listening to palcebo i realized the lirics in your profile is a song from them..wow im slow AND retarded
from gumphood :
yes...you got it. I only had one TV commercial to catch it. Thank you.
from wickedcrazy :
Molly would want to hold hands with Megs boys, lol, and she'd hug the shit out of Analise and HellcatPrincess, she's not one of those obnoxious touchy kids but shes so loving. Depends where you are. I'm right outside of Pittsburgh, I'm not that far from the ohio border.
from sanetwin :
I think Analise and Molly would make lovely friends. I wish you, Meg, and I could get the whole crew together at this park by my house (in the pics) and let them loose and we could just sit and laugh and get to know each other. *sigh* how far away are you???
from mgb :
hugs are good. yeah i'm giving my nose a little break there. it died after last week for a bit.
from pumpkinhouse :
You think that's gaggy funny? Go read Heidiann's diary - she did a fucking shot out of that vagina cup thingie. I use the Gladrags, not the cup.
from pumpkinhouse :
Thank you for that.
from pumpkinhouse :
I did not get the veggies. :( We had White Castle for dinner and I bought Neverwhere on DVD. We didn't actually have the money to do that, so now I'm stressed, but last night was fun. :P
from pumpkinhouse :
I miss Kentucky.
from sanetwin :
HA! Not to nose in on your notes conversations LOL - but Analise used to whisper "shit" to people so I couldn't hear her. They all thought it was hilarious so of course she kept doing it. And then there was the time I took her to see "The Ring" with me because I didn't have a babysitter and I didn't know how scary it would be. She was completely dead silent during it and just sat rigid on my lap (umm I was scared as shit too). And when we left she looked at me and in a spooky voice said, "the tv turns on and then the girl comes and your nose bleeds and YOU DIE." It was lovely when she said that one to Ryan's mom.
from wickedcrazy :
Very telling indeed. Clitoris Clitoris Clitoris (do you have your hands over your eyes now? :P).<b>But dont feel bad about letting the kids watch it. Remember Molly said Buffy and Willow (Buff and Wiwo) before she said Daddy. She was weaned on the fine art of vampire slaying. So the language was clean and there was no bestiality but lots of stabbing and blood. oh shit Oz was a werewolf so I guess there was bestiality. oh well. Molly will just have friends now when shes institutionalized, lmao!
from pumpkinhouse :
I do not have any Lincoln Logs, but I used to love those things. Here's what a shitty Mother I am - ready? I let my kids watch The South Park Movie, I cautioned Stone and Ben that it was foul foul filth and not to repeat any of the fun words they hear in it, and NOT to tell anyone I let them watch it or I would deny it (and call them dirty liars) and only let them watch educational television evermore. So we're watching this uncle-fucking, cock-master, sheep-sucking movie and I get all weirded out when Chef starts talking about the clitoris. The clitoris for chrissakes. All the cursing and animal- and relative-fucking references but I'm freaked out by the word clitoris...somehow I think this is very telling. Sigh. I guess I'm going to have to go buy some Lincoln Logs now.
from pumpkinhouse :
I saw an Amber while doing my grocery shopping earlier this week, her daughter (who could not have been more than 10) was wearing a full face of make-up, a high ponytail, a hooker halter top underneath an unzipped sweat jacket, skin tight denim capri pants, and 3-inch high pink flip-flops. She was also carrying a purse, presumably which contained her cell phone, pager, and birth control. :P
from pumpkinhouse :
You didn't make me mad at you, only more at myself. Only because I'm feeling small and sorry for myself. I need to snap out of it, and you're right, it's more than just school. But I can't articulate what I need, it's just out of reach. Maybe I just need time? School is a pretty raw wound.
from wickedcrazy :
holy fuck betty! thats the number 2 most scary movie to me. I watched it at home by myself and tige called and I was like OHHHHHHH in this half cry half scream. he laughed so hard at me! he still immitates me doing that.
from sanetwin :
I peed my pants once due to a movie. The ring. I seriously held it during the whole thing because I was too scared to get up and go. and then when the chick got out of the TV *shudder* I screamed and peed a little. True Story.
from pumpkinhouse :
I'll be alright, life goes on...day by day (that was the theme song to what show? I can't think of the name and now it's going to drive me batty all day).
from sanetwin :
*points at self* No time spent on back in weeks. Very jealous. I want a dread due to lots of good sex. Very jealous. I guess I should've left this note in Meg's, heh but we just kinda drip over on to each other's notes.
from pumpkinhouse :
Hey, don't be hatin' on dreads. I have one on the back of my head now, as a mattree'o'fact. All these months of not combing my hair has finally paid off (that, and spending lots of time on my back with Dan, heehee).
from pumpkinhouse :
You know, I skimmed your entry before I actually read it and for some reason I thought you were posting a picute of Blair from The Facts of Life - then I realized that was your senior picture (oops). It's cool, Blair was hot, but she was a stodgy bitch with no sense of humor. Can I be Tootie, or do I have to be Natalie just because I'm the fat white chick? I always wanted to be Jo though, or be with Jo, not really sure.
from sanetwin :
Omgd Kel you are so gorgeous! Not that I ever thought otherwise, I've just never seen a pic of you before. And wow, you are . . .wow. Dreads, my ass!
from sanetwin :
Oh sweet jesus, the velocoraptor comment? Pure genuis! I almost peed myself I laughed so hard. Good lord you guys kick ass!
from pumpkinhouse :
I've never actually seen you in person Kel, maybe you can come to Ohio and I'll be forced to issue a statement of correction, lmao.
from sanetwin :
I think we need to hear the story about the great ball incident of 87!! lol
from sanetwin :
puke. and peanut butter, and marshmallows. and turkey. yuck. For some reason I'm not feeling so good again.
from sanetwin :
That picture of Mandy moore is hilarious. I love it when celebrities look retarded.
from wickedcrazy :
I am all for equal opps, lol. Probably cause many of the people I love are fat, skinny, jews, crippled...every label imaginable and I'm never shy about showing and reminding people that I love them. They are only words after all and only have the power that you give them.
from pumpkinhouse :
Funny is funny any way you slice it, and I laugh at un-PC (even un-PC fat) humor along with everyone else. But sometimes the serious overly-sensitive uberfeminist comes out in me and I start wondering about things. But I snap out of it rather quickly, lol. And as far as word substitutions (fat, black, Jewish), somehow I knew you were equal opportunity. Makes you all the more endearing somehow.
from sanetwin :
Oh sweet jesus, Kel, you totally need to go get drunk w/me sometime. That is the kind of crap I love to do but my friends are too much of wussys to do it.
from wickedcrazy :
I dont know what that means either, been to Philly..never to Boston, so I'll just take your word for it! Next time you come to pittsburgh you can come out with me and Tige. Dont worry it wouldnt be a whole crowd of people you dont know. We have no friends but each other so it will just be 2 people you dont know. But lots of drinking will be involved.
from gumphood :
I visit pittsburg all the time. I like it alot more than Philly. Philly is Boston 30 years ago, with less tight pants. I don't know what that means.
from wickedcrazy :
Meggy, I have no clue. I was thinking about the nursing program. Tige thinks I should do the court reporting. Less interaction with people and I could free lance and work mostly from home. I picked up al lof my financial aid stuff today :) Thanks Betty! I'll probably change it in a few days, lol.
from sanetwin :
I FRIGGIN love your layout!!!!!!! aghhh Molly couldn't be cuter!
from pumpkinhouse :
Kudos to you for going back! So, what ya goin to study?
from pumpkinhouse :
OMG Kel, you are the bright spot in my morning. I'm procrastinating right now, because I just HAD to check in on diaries...well worth it! Keep up the fine work angerball.
from sanetwin :
msn hates me. I've tried to email you twice and it's returned it to me. The mouth fairy is FILARIOUS! Analise just says I have plaque and gingivitis (good thing about her daddy being a dental tech)
from gumphood :
i'm wicked crazy
from wickedcrazy :
Molly loves them too. She calls them pohka hohka dots though. I didnt have the money either, lol. I still need to figure out how to do the comments thingy.
from sanetwin :
gold account. *drools* I am entirely too poor for something like that. And the layout? polka dots? I lova them. I love polka dots so much.
from pumpkinhouse :
So I guess they hooked up your Gold and you figured your shit out - you're a smart girl, for a vapid git. :P I wonder whatever happened to Kristen anyway. Oh, and I, like Betty, am glad you're writing here (you should transfer your Blogspot entries over here - the one about the census bureau lady made me shit myself laughing).

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