messages to aliboomboom:
(click here to add new message):

from aussiekate :
Hello Ali, My name is Kate and I am new to this diaryland world. I just stumbled upon your profile and would love to read more about you and your life. I just started my diary and don't believe it's locked. Anyhow if you would kindly provide your password that would be lovely.
from mathero :
I'm writing again. I hope you'll check me out at my new address.. http://mhmlo.diaryland.com
from opalanne :
6-11-06 ---Been ages! I will try to email you, but I'm not even sure if the email addy I have is current. If not, would you drop me a note? Same old address - [email protected]
from theshakedown :
hello???????????? where are you?
from mathero :
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
from mathero :
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
from starlight42 :
Are you not updating here anymore?
from yellowrosetx :
Ali-Where've you been. We're all missing you! Is everything ok?
from manda-d :
Are you OK?
from icyjewel :
Are you done updating here? :(
from momma-at-17 :
Hey Ali, I was wondering if maybe you would do a guest entry for me?
from starlight42 :
I can't believe you haven't updated in 8 days! I read you every day, now I have nothing to do...lol Hope things are well!
from vickithecute :
Welll...I'm not at six yet but I should be by the time I'm 40. Fingers crossed....
from anita-girl :
Yeah I never went trick or treating as a kid, I usually went to a church kids function! I don't agree with trick or treating and will not have my kids do it either, and I am so happy that you didn't bring Griffin trick or treating. Thanks for sayign labour isn't so bad, often all I hear is bad stuff about it!
from heylee :
Thanks for the last note. The sandwich is just lunch meats like salami, turkey and ham. And then you add spicy mustard and paint the out side with egg mixed with food coloring. It was an interesting project. Griffin looked so cute in his little costume for Halloween. :)
from xx-angel-xx :
As far as I know, he does not see his daughter. He told me that she moved away, to florida but, that was a lie (of course. He may see her, I don't really know what he does when he doesn't have Logan or when he does have Logan (which upsets me) His whole life is pretty much in the shadows, same with his past. When I talked to his mom (thats how i found out his daughter didn't move) she told me that Joe doesn't want Logan to know his half sister or doesn't want her mother to know about logan because they claim the mother is 'crazy' and just like the 'devil'. So, I'm more leaning towards he doesn't see his daughter, sadily. But, I don't know what the circumstances is with that seeings Joe lies and has lied about his daughter and he even claimed I was crazy so, who knows...
from kiki1206 :
thanks so much for the sweetest note ever the other day. you always know exactly what to say and i love that about you. and yes, thank god for the section! although it wouldn've been nice to experience a vaginal birth but i didn't have a choice anyway bc kev was a section and my hospital will not allow vaginal births on previous section patients unless it has been i think like 7-8 years since your last section. oh well! anyway, i love new cars. we are so bad though with car buying. together we have owned alot of cars. this is the 13th car we have bought. combined though! we need to just start leasing cars that's for sure. well enjoy your weekend :)
from xx-angel-xx :
I'm so happy to hear that someone else agrees with me. I know there are people who do agree with me but, hearing it makes me feel so much better about my decisions. I'm sure Joe does think if a father's not in their childs life, they grow up being a failure. Which is crazy because people who have both their parents Together, in their lives are still complete morons. He's just way too judgemental and thinks he's correct in everything and his way of thinking is right. In which this case we both know its ridiculous. I'd never put Logan in the position of hearing and seeing his parents arguing and not getting along. He'd be more torn watching that (with us living together) then having two seperate households and his parents not being together. Joe is just blind and stupid. Thank you for your note!
from mozangeles :
Thanks for giving me all that back story. I have been confused for a long time as to why Mike has not been in Griffin's life. Now I understand. I am glad that he is not part of Griffin's life, too. It sounds like he would have been a truly dead-beat father. Griffin deserves much better than that in a father. You are doing such a wonderful job as a mom for him. He is very blessed, and so are you! xoxo - me
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, I understand that. I can't imagine what they would be like for you. I know i'd feel very nervous if I was somewhere or ran into Joe's sister.... and Joe is in Logan's life. Its just all around weird with that all. I can't imagine what its like for you and ever running into any of them but, you handled it very well ((hugs))
from xx-angel-xx :
I don't know if Haloscan is acting up or what... I"m happy to hear you had such a good time in florida! That really sucks that you seen JD there but, atleast it was him instead of Mike! But, atleast you seen him before Griffin was there to meet you at the airport. Griffin is getting so big and his hair is getting so long!! I nnoticed that the gap inbetween his front teeth is getting smaller, I remember you mentioning it awhile back- Logan has gap there too, I wonder if a lot of babies have gaps there and the teeth come together when their teeth come in more?
from smedindy :
I think Haloscan is buggered up. I tried to leave a comment about cute kids and vomit (two separate sentences, really!) and got nada. Sigh.
from nicolerenee :
Oh, the curls! Both of my poor children have the 'curse of the curl' as my mother and I call it! It is cute, until you have to put stuff like mousse and whatnot to make it not crazy! It took me 17 years to learn how to manage my hair, I feel bad for the girls!! lol xoxo ♥
from xx-angel-xx :
oh, i agree 100% with you!!!
from smedindy :
In my childhood, I loved the Atlanta Falcons, because they had neat helmets, but when the Colts moved here I liked them too. Now, the Falcons changed their uniforms so I can discard my loyalty to them and be 100% Colts. I just hope they beat the Patriots this year...
from xx-angel-xx :
awe, that sucks (the scanner) Does griffin do well taken pictures? Wow, $50. I would think that your insurance would cover it will possibly a copayment? I understand how you don't want a nother surprise, one child is good enough for right now, no matter how much you love him!
from xx-angel-xx :
I know joe's not that stupid but, I'm stupid and I think like that. I usually give logan water, or watered down juice too. Yes, my insurance covered the depo shot. I guess birth control stuff doesn't work for me... Which sucks but, I'm not having sex so, I dont have to worry about it, lol. You can always call up the pharmacist you go to and see if your insurance covers the depo shot, I don't know if your gyno would know that or not.
from xx-angel-xx :
I was thining about getting Logan's pictures done, in his monkey costume but, I figured I'd just go get ours done together instead, since we have no pictures done together. Griffin probably looks like a doll in his costume! Logan doesn't like pop.. he spits it out, which i'm so happy about! Lol.. Griffin' like diet pop, I don't even like diet! lol I don't know why i waited so long to get logan on a straw. I like straw's better because Logan spits the juice when he drinks from a sippy. I sure hope Joe didn't pick it up! I think I'm going to ask him about it for sure today, I will call him. I can't go on the pill because It doesn't settle right with me. It makes my migraines so so much worse, the gyno put me on the lighest dosage too and I had a reaction.
from jess1976 :
Thanks for the nice note! Actually we have heard countless time how much we look alike. People are always telling us we look like brother and sister... in fact Dan's sister says they we look more like brother and sister than she and he do. It's kind of funny. I was just about to leave you a note too. I hope you have fun this weekend. Take your mom up on her offer to buy you something nice... it's always nice to wear something new and fabulous. Also, budgeting money stinks... I'm the worst at it. If it weren't for Dan, we wouldn't have any money, but we would have a lot of clothes and purses we don't need :)
from momma-zoe :
Thanks Ali. You mean more to me than you know. It seems easy I know, but dont' they say that love is one of the most complicated things there is? I only hope it ends up like I want it. I'm trying to stay positive. *sighs*
from smedindy :
Hey, thanks for adding me and the **Sweeeet** comment! Take care! I'm all a-smiley now...
from theflyingrat :
I meant to say that I do that because then I only have to check one or 2 note pages when I get an e-mail saying I got a note. Sheesh, I'm slow sometimes. ;)
from theflyingrat :
The notes from losingdavid and theflyingrat come here. The other ones have their own note pages. I can usually tell which site people are talking about, though. ♥
from brooklyntcb :
I know.
from theflyingrat :
Thanks, Ali. I appreciate your sentiment. It's okay that you 'missed it' - I keep it separate on purpose so that people don't get bored by me going on about depressing things. ♥
from aidawrites :
WOW is right. I just dont think I can handle all this. Honestly it's embarrasing to have to admit im dating him and embarrasing to write this all down. I'm the kind of person who looks down on people in his situation, I dont associate myself with anything to do with drugs or rehab or men with children. It's upsetting me so much. Last night he looked into my eyes and thanked me for understanding, thanked me for being there for him. I've only known this guy for less than 2 weeks and I see he is becoming attached to me. I can leave this thing now and move on, but theres just something about him I cant explain. He has these big blue eyes that are so sad and hurt and I just want to hug him and keep him safe, but when I wake up in the morning I realize how stupid I am. I want to be with someone that can possibly be the one. not someone so far away from stability, with such a very dark past. but no matter how i look at it, I cant help that I have feelings for him. And hopefully, they go away soon.
from smedindy :
Thanks for the nice note. Last night was another adventure. Sigh. I've basically been up since 4:45, yawn....
from nicolerenee :
Thanks doll. As much as everyone tells me, I still feel huge! I actually only gained like 14 pounds with this one, but I still had a lot of fat from Keaghans pregnancy. I'm actually looking forward to getting this weight off for good. I was into pilates right before (I only got one class, befreo I found out I was PG again!) this pregnancy, so I'm excited to get into it again, I loved it! xoxo ♥
from jess1976 :
Would you know how to contact him? Maybe you could call him and say it was great to see him and see if he was interested in meeting up for a drink sometime. I know that you would prefer for him to ask you out, but since he doesn't have your number, this might be a good alternative. Hey, whatever happened to Taylor on myspace? I noticed that her account isn't showing up anymore as one of my friends.
from vickithecute :
Sure!! UN vicki, PW cute
from hunterpoo :
Hehe, thats so sweet you gave in! Your notes arent on there yet, so I came here. Of course I'll do it. I'm actually working on some random layouts right now, Hunt's distracted by his cheerios and The Backyardigans. Just let me know what you want. =)
from tfrunner262 :
I just wanted to let you know that I e-mailed you the password info rather than leaving it here b/c I'm paranoid I guess. Take care ~luvs~
from classygirl83 :
You're right I'm wrong sorry.
from alwaysaroura :
Oh yeah I'm sure you were really upset by the "voice of reason", it was hilarious. And the funniest part was that she didn't leave her name. Maybe she was afraid that if she left her name, you'd be harsh with her... :) Oh no!! The thing is you are an honest person. People are not used to that because there is so much bull shitting going on in this world. It's ridiculous. I love you for always telling people what you think. I think it's one of your most redeeming qualities. You don't bull shit anyone, you dont' sugar coat anything, etc. The world could use more people like that. People who sent around and want others to tell them they are right when they aren't, well that's annoying. You rock. I love you.
from classygirl83 :
Maybe you should read my notes. It's just a suggestion, and I'm in NO WAY starting drama, but there's a couple of people who thought the way I did and they're my age. I relize that I've some how managed to get on your bad side, and that's sad. I'm sorry I managed to do that, but maybe you shouldn't be that rude to people. I mean I know that i'm not the only one that has had hurt feelings fron you. Maybe YOU"RE the one that needs to be a little more understanding. I know that whenever you get a mean note from "The Voice Of Reason" You never like it.............So maybe its' a little time for you to stop being soo harsh to people that you don't really like?
from thaichic :
Whew, well thanks for setting me straight about the drink. I should have thought about what a real margarita has in it. I was imagining my homemade margaritas which is just mix and tequila. The drink sound delicious, I'll have to pick up some triple sec. Thanks for the ingredients and no need for the Italian, thats the great thing about liquor stores! Yum. I love you Ali. Seriously. You're one honest chic and thats how everyone should be!
from classygirl83 :
Wow, that note was kinda harsh. I dont know, I thought that it woud be okay since I had a doctor's note
from lightupnight :
Oh I know!!! It will be hard, but I know it will be fun too. So far, I love being a mother and I never knew I could love it so much, since you don't know what it's like until it happens. So, with whatever the future holds with this, I'm ready... a little nervous... but ready (well, not entirely ready, but I'm working on that).
from anita-girl :
Hey! My brother gave me a new computer without saving all my stuff on the other one so I lost your user and password!!! Can you email it to me, [email protected], I miss you!
from dukkha-tanha :
See, big dumb Yank, here. I was thinking you were talking about Charleston. I've been to Charlotte, I flew in there a few times. Duh. It is nice. I had friends in SC, that's why I went there, but did spend time in NC. =)
from manda-d :
Yes, it was me :-) I read a spoiler that Mel and Danny live together now. SO maybe he straightened up?
from vickithecute :
Yay Austin!!! Did you see him and Nicole the first time round? They were really cute together. He brings out the softer side of her. And ITA on Max. He came in all sleazy but I really really like him and I hope he and Chelsea end up together (I think they're going to keep her name, after all, Chelsea would go apeshit if she had to give up the name the Bensons gave her). And Patrick? Eh, he bores me. He's hot, but boring.
from vickithecute :
Yeah, that makes sense. I just want to make sure I'm upfront with anyone I date because I know I would be pissed if the situation was reversed, if I was looking for a real relationship and only found out AFTER deciding I really liked someone that he was just looking for something casual. So it definitely needs to be out there within the first couple of dates.
from icyjewel :
Hi Ali! I loved the write-up you did about me awhile back. I look forward to returning so I can read your daily updates. :) I hope all is going good!
from kiki1206 :
janie is tiny but i think it's her ghetto booty that makes her look thicker. i think her best would be to go against ivette bc i think james will vote for her bc of how well she played the game. i don't think he is going to be vindictive to her. we'll see. if she can swing april and james then she will win.
from momma-at-17 :
Yeah things with us are good. Unfortunately I'm clinically depressed and have been for 3 years now, so occasionally (especially after I stop my meds) I get really down on myself and everything connected to me. That was just a short rut, literally it lasted like that entry and then things were everything that I could ask for again.
from mathero :
what? I gave you the info..
from mathero :
I wanted to make my diary public again but didn't want personal pictures just to be inconspicuous.
from theflyingrat :
Hey thanks for the comment. Riley does looks a lot like Kent, especially if you compare their baby pictures. You are most likely right about the nephew/baby thing. I'm sure I won't always feel that way. Thanks. ♥
from brooklyntcb :
I know-I'm going to really try to stick with this thing...
from mathero :
still waiting on the user info, unless i'm not allowed to read... [email protected] or myspace me.
from oil-n-water :
Hi there, thanks for the info to get into your diary. I'll be sure to keep reading. Amanda (formally imazook)
from kiki1206 :
i hate chicken legs on men. yuck. my husband has a little belly but his tight ass and great calfs make up for it. i am so sure you wanted to know that. he he
from momma-at-17 :
I need the info. And my mom's actually the one who took the pictures. I wanted them like that.
from mathero :
Can I have the new user info?
from beachbride06 :
Hey Al.. I need your new user name and password to get in :) Have a great weekend GiRL! :)
from eggsaucted :
hey ali, I left you an IM and my email bounced back or something, I don't know I probably had a typo, but if you would be so kind as you email your new un/pw to [email protected] I'd appreciate it. I've had a busy week, so I didn't realize you changed it until last night.
from iluvsleeping :
I saw the comment you left for Dukkha regarding Laguna Beach, a show I'm obsessed with, and then I saw on your profile that one of your favorite authors in Jennifer Weiner, so now I simply must have a user/password to read your diary. :)
from sweet-cynic :
hello stranger. i've missed you. may i have the pw?
from frogmom :
thanks for the note. I would love to read your journal, if you dont mind. You can email me your password at [email protected]
from nicolerenee :
Yea, I have actually been here the whole time, I just thought you didn't read me anymore because of Victoria, for whatever reason. Hope you are doing well.
from jennlynn24 :
hey girl... i have switched diaries, i am no longer writing in this one.. starting a new.... beachbride06.... i am adding you to my faves, cause well. YOU ARE! :) Have a great weekend Al!
from aidawrites :
Yeah It's the same guy. His name is Mark. He is very mature and just knows the right things to say and do. I really like him, lets hope he doesnt do something stupid and ruin the image for me. Anyway, I totally agree that in relationships you have to have your ups and your downs. I think he behaved that way that one night because he is very sensitive (like me) and he obviously proved that by writing me a beautiful poem. I just love Hooking Up, I think its great that they show the people months later and they have found love. It gives us single girls hope. I think your closure with Brandon will be very healthy for you. This is obviously a very big step for you as far as moving on goes. I wish I could get some closure from Matt, but everytime I feel like there is closure, he pops back in my life or vica versa. Anyway, he is an idiot. I like Big Brother as well, I always get addicted to it when I start watching it. I missed it last night though, I am so mad at myself, how could i forget??? Oh and school starts August 22. I go on Vacation next week and I will be back just in time for my first class. I sooooo need a vacation right now.
from starlight42 :
I'm only 5 feet tall. and I've noticed, as you seem to have, that with age metabolism slows down. :( So for me, my weight should be between 105-115 pounds. At one point I was a size 6 and I think I weighed 115 or 120. I can't wait to get back to that!!
from aidawrites :
The message you have prepared for Brandon is perfect. It's casual and thoughtful with not too much information and not a bit desperate. I cant wait for his reply! Anyway, I havent been able to be on the internet at work as much as I used to because they've got me doing too much work. I get here at 7am and I leave at 6pm and no time to fool around the net. Sucks. Not that I have anything interesting to say anyway....my life is a bore...except that I'm dating someone and he is very nice. He wrote me a poem for my birthday. Have you seen a show called Hooking Up? It's on ABC on Thursdays at 9 (I think the same time as Big Brother) And well, it's totally addicting, i love it. Have a great day!
from bowler296 :
i hope we can be friends......but if not i guess i'll live with it
from amommaslove :
If it make you feel any better at all I'm kinda scared of being by myself too. Before Andrew left we were renting this gorgeous 2 story house way out in the country, It was beautiful. I hated leaving it but I knew I wouldn't want to be by myself either. I am very social and hate being alone. Plus there was no way Andrew was going to leave and leave me by myself, he really protective!
from amommaslove :
That is kinda funny. We plan on trying to get stationed at Ft. Benning in Georgia. That is where Andrew is now and it is an infantry base so that is good odds. I want to live somewhere warm. I live in Indianapolis, IN and it gets so cold in the winter. I hate winter and I hate snow! We want to move south, it's warmer, prettier, and people are nicer! Righ tnow I'm satying with my parents so I don't have to saty by myself but that's hard cause I've lived on my own since I graduated High School. Oh well it saves me money!
from amommaslove :
I was scared to death when Blaze was born. I actually cried when I saw him for the first time. I was luck, even though he spent 5 weeks in the NICU he didn't have any major set backs besides being small. (at 3 1/2 he only weighs 25 lbs.) And he had to go through physical therepy once a weeks for 18 mo. But not a big deal. Shaylee was 3 weeks early but I was put on complete bed rest at 30 weeks with her due to an incompetent(?) cervix. Andrew will be away for a total of 7 weeks so I only have 5 to go. Sept. 16 we will go to Columbus, GA and see him graduate. I am an accounting manager for a fastener company, Crown Screw & Bolt. When Andrew gets stationed somewhere I'm going to go to Nursing School. What did you go to school for?
from xx-angel-xx :
yay! I voted a good few times tooo! I wouldn't mind if michael came back either, I just totally don't want eric to come back. there's no way i can hear 'cappy' 400 times more then i already have to! I want someoen from Kaysar's allience to win too. hopefully they do, I'm just too excited about tonight. haha have a good day!
from amommaslove :
Thank You! Unfortunately my husband has already been gon for 2 weeks now. I'll get to see him in 5 weeks though. And to answer your question No I wasn't married when I got pregnant with Blaze. We got married 3 days after he was born in hospital chapel. Andrew was in Basic Training at the time and was home for Christmas when I went into labor and had Blaze 10 weeks early on Christmas Day! Thanks for the password!
from aloneindark5 :
It's unlocked now. Sorry about that, I meant to leave you a note with the new info.
from amommaslove :
Yes, Please! I haven't had much time to update lately with working 40 hrs. driving 45 min each way to get my kids and then taking care og them. I admire single mothers, I don't know how they do it!
from bowler296 :
WEll thanks for your high hopes and I'm sure things will be fine. SArah is a great person and a vey strong one, I wanna see her happy. I'm glad that we coudl discuss this without a huge shouting match and everyone ending up angry.
from bowler296 :
Well i totally agree with that. If I had left becuse of the baby then it would be pathetic, but honestly ask anyone that i've tlaked to about this. I wanted to stay FOR him. He needs a father, but that wouldn't be fair to sarah or myself. I also want to appologize for snappig at you, it wasn't a direct snap at you it was for everyone. Sorry bout that, and i see your point about the age thign i do and so does Misty, But we are paying attention to it, it's not that hard considering I'm perfectly fine with ehr goign to bars and clubs with friends cause i know who she's coming home too. Bt she seems to wanna settle downa nd so do I I'm not a party, crazy person i need stability.
from bowler296 :
this is Jeremy......If you think taylor is why i left your so wrong. I've seen him once and i'm in love with him he was gorgeous, I hate that i haven't seen him again. I'm happy now i wasn't then it's that damn simple. Think what you want, whatever makes you feal better, but me and misty are happy. Yeha 5 years what a diverence. HMMMMM my parents are 4 years apart hers are like 15. NUMBERS don't matter.
from xx-angel-xx :
I bought the gerber graduates also, well- i only bought the cheese ravioli, logan at a few then start spitting and throwing them off the tray. The smell alone is aweful, i can see why they don't like the taste! Next time i go shopping I'll have to look at what else they have. And thanx for the thought of cheerios, i'm going to try that! (oh, sorry if you watched that mr. dad. It was totally different then what I thought it was going to be so, I just ended up turning it off)
from xx-angel-xx :
lol, logan does that too. I don't know why they have to do that, just chew it :-) well, i know he's getting his back teeth but, I think they might be already cut through but, I'm not sure how many back teeth he should be getting but, seems like he's been getting teeth forever now, since 4 months he's been getting teeth. He'll often eat what I'm eating but, what I eat isn't too often all that healthy for him so, I don't know if maybe he doesn't like to eat jar food since he has teeth. Does Griffin eat any kind of cereal, like Cheerios? If so, do they get soggy and I can try that with Logan, or maybe kixs (not sure how to spell)
from aidawrites :
Yeah, I'm in the process of buying a 2 door black, leather, navi accord. I'm really excited about that. Its the only thing that is happening in my life right now. i am so boring these days!
from aidawrites :
Sounded like you had a lovely vacation. Cool pictures too, Griffin looks so incredibly cute. You must be so proud he is such an adorable child. I totally forgot to watch Laguna Beach! I hope they rerun it soon. Hey, did you end up buying that car a while back? For some reason I thought I remember you saying you were going to buy a car. Was it an Accord?
from rdhdprincess :
Hey sweetie, of course you can have it. But only if you give me yours, too. I've lost it twice now and was too embarrassed to keep asking! Shame! Mine is Bella's favorite food. Sweet and then potato. Now your turn - [email protected]
from thaichic :
Love the new look, love Griffin! He's just a really good-looking baby. The bangs look great on you. Some girls just can't pull off bangs. Like me for instance. Anyway so glad you're back. Look how much all of us have missed you!!! You popular little diva you! I'm going to send you an email. I watched LB twice this weekend. I keep thinking I'll catch something I missed. I'm such a dork.
from lanne :
Hey girl. I am actually not writing in diaryland anymore.... haven't really had much time to write and because so many friends, etc. have access to my account, I don't really feel like it's 'my' place anymore. I've resorted back to my own private thoughts!! :) Take care girl!
from xx-angel-xx :
lol, thanx :) Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine too- i havent gotten a tooth pulled since i was like 11 or something so, just my nerves are all wacky. Thanks :)
from aloneindark5 :
May I have the new password? ([email protected]) Also I've just recently changed mine as well. If you'd like the new one just let me know if/when you send me your's. Otherwise just let me know. =) Hope everything's ok.
from icyjewel :
Hey Ali, I hope everything is ok with you. I'd like the new pw if you are giving it out. My e-mail is [email protected] Thanks!
from cosmopolitn :
hey Ali...I hope everything is ok...Send me a note ok? If you changed your password can I have the new one? I think you still have my e-mail.. :)
from theflyingrat :
i'd like the new pw too. [email protected]
from vickithecute :
Everything okay, hon? I'd like the new UN/PW too, if it's okay. Either way, drop me a note so I know you're okay. I'm worried.....
from singlegirl :
Did you change your password? Can I have the new one, please?
from mathero :
I'm locked out too!
from heylee :
same here. :(
from xx-angel-xx :
awe, me too!
from hunterpoo :
I'm locked out too =(
from starlight42 :
did you change your pw? i can't get in.
from xx-angel-xx :
awe, a mullet- I couldn't help but laugh. Logan's hair is cruly in the back, or getting to be, its not that long in the back. He is so so cute (griffin) Well, baby hair, when its cut always looks weird b/c its so fine- or atleast in my opinion. I was iffy about logan getting his hair trimmed but, it was just a trim, couldn't mess up..... too bad.
from manda-d :
I don't know? I definitely think someone dies. Do you watch Big Brother 6?
from yellowrosetx :
I've known him since 6th grade and have always loved him. We used to date. He spent every holiday from 6th grade until I was a Freshman in College at my family's home. We both got married and are both fairly recently divorced. All of this is in very early entries and more current ones!? He was coming through to see his new niece and moving on to his next assignment for the military (of which he can not divulge anything about b/c he does intelligence; hence he can't call). He asked to see me. It rekindled old feelings. I'm not "jumping" into anything- he's always been in my head/heart.
from aidawrites :
Thanks for the nice compliment :) You are too sweet!
from manda-d :
I think someone definitely dies... but I just can't figure out who! I've been looking online.
from manda-d :
OMG Ali!! I am DYING to know what Danny's dad tells him next week! Ahhhh!
from starlight42 :
that's funny because here, I rarely see santa fe's! i'm so glad they're popular in other places though. maybe it's because we're the big 3 HQ, in detroit. mostly big 3 cars.
from cosmopolitn :
Guess you can't link on the comments page! Ha ha...
from cosmopolitn :
Thanks for telling me how to link...<a href = "http://cosmopolitn.diaryland.com/" >Here <a/>is the new and improved entry...I am trying photo bucket tonight!
from thaichic :
Um I sent it to you via email the other day. AND I emailed you something else about B. Did you not get them? If not then that would explain why didn't respond about B. I was bummed. Let me know and I'll email them again. I'll even forward the sent emails to prove I sent them to you haha.
from makinganewme :
OMG, could you even imagine all of us living close? What a nightmare. I think I'd stay holed up until we could find some place else to go ♥
from mathero :
How is Cookie doing? Have you heard from her lately? Is she feeling any better? I need my Cookie fix and she's no where to be found!
from aidawrites :
The weekend was a non-stop party. Iím totally partied out and exhausted. Anyway, I did see Matt. It was not what I expected to feel but nice nonetheless. Itís a long story I will have to update tomorrow when I can email myself the pics from the weekend. Overall it was a freaking blast. Orlando is such a party town. And yes, i dont know why i liked it so much, but Laguna Beach totally good tv. It's the epitome of high school with extra money and extra good looks.
from mathero :
kate did my layout. isn't she fabulous?!
from kris-tee :
Brad and I are dun-zo as you will see in my diary, I doubt we will make it to Blakes birthday party. I am so upset that I will not be able to do it because of Brad, Taylor and you should be thankful that it's just you and your little guys, that you don't have to depend on anyone, I want that so bad and I am about to have it... Ali, I am so scared, if I could find your damn number I would call you right now. This is so real right now, my heart is beating like crazy, I can't believe he signed that paper... I know Blake and I will be better off, I am just so scared. WHY? Why am I scared, I swear, if I was talking to me, now, three years ago, I would totally think I was pathetic, I KNOW you would make me feel better if I could talk to you.... I hate what I have become, a daycare provider, for the most part depending on her husband... I suck. I really do. I should have kept working. I hate to think I will have to work when this is all over and done with, not working so much as leaving Blake... I hate it..
from xx-angel-xx :
thank you for your comment :)
from makinganewme :
Aw, I hope you get to do things with your cousins, too. I was super! close to my girl cousins when we were younger. Being with them on Tuesday reminded me of all the good times we had. We're slowly starting to get back to where we were before, it's a great feeling. Have a good time!!
from kris-tee :
That is so great about Griffin. Oh and I think it so cute that Griffin does the crab walk on the deck, Blake totally does the crab walk on the deck also! No where else, just the deck! It cracks me up!!!!!
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you :)
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, Logan started taking about 3-4 steps around 4th of July, He graduated up to about 6-7 steps but, he's back to 3-4. he just would rather walk from thing to thing, I think it makes him feel 'fearless' and a big boy, but when he does walk, after he falls, he makes sure to look at me so i can chear him on. Its so adorable! Its fun walking babies learn how to walk! They are getting so big, eh? Its funny b/c i'm like 'oh i can't wait for Logan to walk' but when he starts to, you realize that they're getting older and bigger with each new thing they do. As much as I enjoy and want him to do more things, its heartbreaking because he won't be my 'little' boy forever.
from manda-d :
Thanks for your sweet note yesterday! And YAY GRIFFIN! Way to go!
from imazook :
Hi. I hope you don't mind that I read. I've seen some of the notes you leave people and wanted to check out your diary. Thanks:) your son is adorable!
from classygirl83 :
Thank you for all of your notes. You totally deserve paid vacation time!! If Aaron doesn't give it to you, then........He definatly sucks! Have a great week! When do yall go to the beach?
from xx-angel-xx :
I think my tan looks disguisting in pictures, I'm just too dark. I don't think i'm as tan as it shows in pictures. I bought that shirt at wal-mart. I seen it and I was like 'oh, i just have to buy it' I normally don't buy shirts that have sayings but, i couldn't pass that one up!
from alwaysaroura :
You just have to ask him. You are right, if you don't ever ask, you'll never receive. He's a real asshole anyways for not just giving it to you. Find another job and pronto, you deserve more!
from mathero :
Yes, Matt will adopt Mia. We're kinda waiting until we have enough money saved up to pay for a lawyer because we're poor. But as soon as we can, we're going to get it done. One more step to get James out of my life.
from heylee :
4 hours on a good day. It's so nice to just get away there for the weekend. I love lounging by the pools and walking around on the strip. It's definitely a different lifestyle, but one that's a lot of fun.
from hertinyhands :
"I feel so bad for children who are dressed to look like idiots. I really do..." You gave me a full-on hysterical laughing fit with that comment. I feel the exact same way, though I probably wouldn't be so blunt about it. That's why I love your diary. :) I am so glad that Griffin is doing better and that his teachers love him. Good luck with Aaron today. You really need a job where you are appreciated, and at least where you have benefits!
from starlight42 :
it's loading for me, maybe if you try later or something. it's so funny, it's from a site called trailer crashers. you can put your face in and it looks like you were in the movie. it's too funny. dave put the cats face in last night. lol i hope it loads for you, let me know!
from heylee :
It was horrible! When we first walked in, we needed to schedule an appointment(I was already expecting it). Then they didn't want us walking around looking at dresses. THEN, the girl gave me a magazine to fold down the edges of what dresses I liked so the girl could pull them for me to try on. AND THEN, she told me, "You go home with the dress you try on." Yuck. I tried on 1 dress, it was horrible and then tried on a bridesmaid dress to see how that looked and that was horrible. The girl came into the dressing room and gave me a very informative lecture on how to put on the entire getup. First, the slip, then boustiere(can't spell), then the shoes and lastly the dress, over your head of course. I felt like I was back in kindergarten. By the time I closed the dressing room door, I was ready to leave. I should not have even bothered at all to begin with. Now I know better. Ugh.
from cosmopolitn :
I agree, it will make us a stronger couple, it is just the waiting to get the chance too, that is the hardest! I just have to keep thinking that I have already made it this far, and if he comes home in Decemeber that means we are more then halfway done! Thinking on the positive side is the only way that gets me through everyday. I totally agree now that you got me thinking about it~who can really wait a whole year to professionally photograph a baby as cute as Griffin? Every 6 months sounds good :)
from aidawrites :
Yeah, they are broken up. Noah told her he didnt like the way she treated him, and that she didnt love him so he told her it was over. She isnt sad about it, Megan really couldnt stand him. she totally felt like the 5th wheel that night, but then she met some guys and started having fun. Thats awesome that you are still loosing weight, its so hard to keep motivated, you really have accomplished it!
from kris-tee :
Good luck with the talk with Aaron. And I agree I hate matchy matchy things. I'm so glad Jess never suggests dressing Jacob and Blake alike.
from momma-at-17 :
I plan on getting on WIC. And the Have a good life comment was from Jeremy...
from lightupnight :
I hope this baby is a girl as well, but there's a chance this baby could take the same route my sister's second baby did and be a boy. She broke the chain in our family (I come from a family of 6 girls only) and so I could have a girl and then a boy. But I really want a girl again!! Mainly because I find boys so hard to name and I'm really picky. It would also be a really good thing about the closeness in age...
from aidawrites :
I like Nick. I see him as this All American guy, not really as a celebrity. He is hot and manly and can fix things. Not to mention how much he loves Jessica and Im sure she is breaking his heart right now. I just feel bad for him, i think he is a sweetheart. And as for the battle of the slutty pop princesses, im not a fan of any of them, i think they aren't pretty or talented enough to deserve their fame. And Jessica has turned so slutty and tasteless. Did you see her new video? yuck.
from kiki1206 :
no nicole and i are not and will never be friends again. i just don't need someone in my life like that. being judged all the time would just be odd. this is another nicole that i have been friends with for years. her daughter and kev are 2 months apart so they get along great. by the way you should add somet toning exercizes to your workout. like pilates or some light weightlifting. so instead of doing the treadmill 7 days a week do it like 4 days and on the other days tone up. or tone up in the morning and then treadmill at night. i read that kate hudson worked out 2 hours a day everyday after having her son to lose the weight. with a trainer ofcourse. would be nice to have that kind of time and a hot trainer!! ;)
from theflyingrat :
Oh yeah. And I can't believe your sister still hasn't given you back your sunglasses. What is she...five?
from theflyingrat :
Haloscan was messing up so I figured I'd leave a note instead... Congratulations on finding the motivation you need to keep exercising. I'm lazy too when it comes to that kind of stuff. :) I think you look great the way you are though so don't worry too much about it! ♥
from bowler296 :
Well that's all i cna really hope for. I mean she is still the girl I love it's just too hard for us to try this especially right now. So i wanna be there and be her friend and be there for Tay i realyl do.
from kiki1206 :
don't get down on yourself about the weight loss thing. it's difficult (like you didn't know that) and i totally figured you would've known about the LB launch special. do you watch big brother at all? too many reality shows. i love em' though ;) griffin is adorable. i love the 1st day of daycare outfit.
from leckalou :
I go to Tufts University, which unfortunately for me is a ridiculously expensive private school. Tuition alone is now $32,000 a year. If I lived on campus it would cust me about $44,000 a year to go to school. I was really, really stupid to go to this school but I was offered so much money my freshman year, and so I never really had to pay much, if anything at all. Last year I paid nothing. It has nothing to do with grades, it's all need-based and I guess they think suddenly I don't need as much. It just sucks. I regret going to Tufts so much. I could have gone to a state school and paid nothing but I was snobby and wanted to go to a school with a good name. Dumb, dumb, dumb. :( And yes, I think most moms are insane, I don't know what it is! I like to say that I will NEVER be like that, haha, but isn't that what everyone says?
from thaichic :
No it's not lame to want to buy the DVDs. I am! HAHA! Oh the season is going to be so good. Why are they only 30 minutes long??????? I need at least a whole hour. 2 weeks!
from hertinyhands :
I didn't realize that the night of your party was the first time they'd met! I'd be suspicious too. That is really, really shady of her and VERY shitty to rub your nose in the fact that he still emails her (even if its just forwading) while you two have no contact. And she has NO business telling him ANYthing you've said. Ugh, it's terrible! I would talk to her about it. You deserve answers and she needs to know it's unacceptable for her to ignore your feelings. If you are friends, she needs to treat you like one.
from leckalou :
Hehe we are such dorks! I swear, every Wednesday until the end of the season we will be discussing the previous night's episode! Anyway, I understand why people are for the war, that's why I'm so on the fence with things. I agree, what Nehemiah said was kinda more uninformed. It just pissed me off. So fucking disrespectful. I still don't like Rachel though even if I do side with her on that argument. Where did you hear that Melinda and Danny are still together? That is really sweet if it's true. This season is so good, I swear it gets better every time.
from alwaysaroura :
Your sister sucks. Seriously that is the most annoying thing I have ever heard. As for Blow Out, I really want Jonathan to do my hair. I wish I lived in LA if only for that one reason.
from leckalou :
Not to get all political but I don't wholly disagree with the war, I think it's sad and unfortunate and I think we were DEFINATELY misled but I don't fully disagree with it by any means. I'm on the fence. I get so torn on the issue, I wish I could just have a set opinion! With Danny, I just think it's dumb to mention Sept. 11 which has nothing to do with Iraq (going by the Sept. 11 Commission which said there was no evidence to show a link between Iraq and the attacks). It's just offensive to people who lost loved ones on that day to use it as an excuse to justify going to war with a country that wasn't involved. Again, I'm not strongly anti-war at all. I'm also not "for" the war...I don't know what I am! But I just think in Danny's case if he's going to be for the war he should really know what we're there for. It's such a sensitive issue, and people get so offended when discussing it. Nehemiah was VERY insensitive, though. No matter how I feel about any war, I will forever be amazed by the bravery of soldiers and I don't give a crap if she was "just" a nurse, she was still there. Ugh! I still am so unsure how I feel about Johanna. She hasn't pissed me off since she got all in Nehemiah's face that time. Wes is just lame, I don't even really care about him. He's never been very likeable but at the same time he hasn't totally pissed me off either. Danny is so hot, I hope is eye totally goes back to normal, it looks kinda messed up right now. Danny and Melinda are one of the hottest couples ever, I have to say! Oh and super congrats on the weight loss, you seem to be doing really well. :) This note is all over the place.
from bowler296 :
Yeah we are on the outs again. I did some thinkin and I told wrote an entry about it and how i felt and i let her know some things, and everyone took it as i was saying she was a horrible person who i wanted nothing to do with. BUt no where in there did I say I wanted to berak up. So......i dunno what's goinging on. As long as i can be int hier lives i guess i don't have to be the boyfriend.
from xx-angel-xx :
My sister is 23, i do believe. Who knows what she'll do. She's always been the type to do what others didn't want her to do. I'd wish she'd leave but, She'd think she'd have no place to go.
from alwaysaroura :
I think that Griffin is the most gorgeous child EVER. I love the pictures! You look great. Where exactly do you plan to lose 40 pounds from? I mean seriously.
from kris-tee :
OMG, Griffin is SO freaking cute! And you look REALLY good Ali! You look like you have lost weight since Derby. You look great! I love the picture of him eating cake, and the one of you guys looking at eachother, and the one with his little swimming trunks on, I loved them all! Blake is such a fat little thing compared to Griffin. Blake is so fat! He weighs 23 pounds and he's definately shorter then Griffin.
from lightupnight :
The first note was okay... I didn't try to take it any certain way or anything but get the message of it. And I didn't mean to sound like my life was perfect because of not living at home, etc etc... for me, it's perfect but I know that it's not right for everyone. So you live at home! Do what's good for you and your child! And I know what you mean about getting defensive about our kids. I would never have thought it could happen until Isabella actually came along. You just don't know the feelings you can have until you really do become a mother. As for this pregnancy, I defintely do not want to terminate it. It's not even an option. If I were in a different position than I am, then maybe it would be good for me but this is defintely not. I'm happy about a second pregnancy, but wishing it hadn't happened so soon, but I am worried about the potential of miscarriage since I found out so soon. I didn't know this soon with Isabella. But... I've never had a miscarriage before... but we could start at anytime...
from lightupnight :
Oh I know... this is nothing to brag about and I'm really not. I'm only getting somewhat happier about knowing I'm pregnant again now. I was really not happy learning it, but I guess that's my own fault for not being more careful. I don't even know if this will be a pregnancy that will last and that's why I'm not telling anyone else anything right now. I'll have more time to think about everything.
from lightupnight :
I don't even know!!! No one knows yet, except Mark. I don't think it will be an entirely big deal... but then again maybe. But it IS my own life and it's not like I live at home and don't have a boyfriend and just am sleeping with random people and continuously getting pregnant!! Imagine that... so... when I finally decide to tell them, I think it will be okay.
from classygirl83 :
NO it's not doing it now, but it did.. I just deleted my whole AIM and then rea down loaded it. It didin't do it anymore after that. I thought you wanted to show me something or something
from xx-angel-xx :
thank you :) I really don't know where he got his round face from, because I certainly don't have anywhere near a round one. lol
from vickithecute :
Nope, not moving. He's doing security at a chemical plant where the workers are on strike. Strike work pays obscenely well but he has to work 90 straight 12 hour days. Kinda sucks but the payoff is worth it.
from mathero :
I was on the shot for awhile. It made me gain 30lbs and I refuse to be on it again. I was also on the patch and LOVED it but my insurance company stopped paying for it. I've heard really good things about the IUD and it sounds ideal for me.
from mathero :
I hope it doesn't hurt but I've heard mixed reactions. I think theres a little cramping and whatnot after it's inserted. But I'm horrible at taking birth control pills, hence my 2 daughters. So this is the way to go for me!
from xx-angel-xx :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GRIFFIN!
from kiki1206 :
Happy Birthday to Griffin ;)
from bubbles11090 :
Where did you get that cute little outfit with Griffin's name on it? I love it, it's so cute:)
from bowler296 :
I'll do my best to make a desicion we can both be happy with. Hopefully it turns out best. First off I realyl need to talk to her but I don't have the time to go see her and have a full conversations eye 2 eye like we need to.
from aidawrites :
Everything looks great for Griffin's birthday party. He is a very lucky little boy :) I updated on my diary twice, i had a lot of stuff saved on my computer. I cant believe its almost Friday already, the week has been crazy but short :)
from heylee :
I'm sad about the myspace thing too. I got in touch with a lot of my friends from high school. :( My ex was and is an extremely nice guy and it was nice to see how he was doing. Except, he wanted to meet up when he came to CA this month. Brian mentioned the fact that it was fine that I was talking to him, he just didn't feel very comfortable if we were to hang out. So, I just want to avoid any heartache and just leave it alone for the moment. Brian means more to me and I don't want to put him in a position where he is uncomfortable or unsure, ya know? ughhh. Anyways,Griffin's party is going to go so well, I can tell you are very organized and prepared. He is going to have so much fun!
from mozangeles :
Actually, I found a Grad school search network last night, and when I put in "Italian," the University of Tennessee in Knoxville came up for the Department of Romance and Foreign Languages, I believe. I remember seeing that and commenting to my boyfriend that I knew you in Tennessee! I have to look into it further (some of the schools that come up do not actually have an Italian program), but it is definitely a possibility! xoxo - me
from alwaysaroura :
All those toys are so cute. I'm going to send him something with a horse on it soon!! Baby Polo, so cute.
from bitterwineuk :
thank you for your note. It's just shocking when it's so close to home. I cheat on my diet all the time but I go to weight watchers on a thursday morning. Last week I put on 1lb and it kicked my ass back into being good and this week i lost 5lb. i was gonna boast about hat in an entry tonight but it's ben pushed to the back of my mind after todays shocking news. I don't get disheartened if I put on or stay the same cos I know I was bad and just have to try better, I normally eat what i want at weekends and be extra good the rest of the week. At least it works. Becca
from bitterwineuk :
thank you for your note. It's just shocking when it's so close to home. I cheat on my diet all the time but I go to weight watchers on a thursday morning. Last week I put on 1lb and it kicked my ass back into being good and this week i lost 5lb. i was gonna boast about hat in an entry tonight but it's ben pushed to the back of my mind after todays shocking news. I don't get disheartened if I put on or stay the same cos I know I was bad and just have to try better, I normally eat what i want at weekends and be extra good the rest of the week. At least it works. Becca
from bowler296 :
I really liek your note, not too many take the time to see my side. I'm either a bad guy or a too good of a guy. I jsut want us both to be happy. I can be happy with the baby, i love kids he don't bother me it's mainly the fact that he's not mine, it bothers me terribly. I feal so bad when i hold him like i'm taking someone's place away. Other then that my main problem is with work, and trygin to pursue a career and maybe going back for more school. That I won't have enough of me to give the two of them the love they deserve. I also know that I like attention on me about my career and choices i make and i know that it'll mostly be gone now and I know i'm selfish but it's just me and i don't wanna make fights over it when we can still be friends now and I can still be there for them without the big arguements. Also I never really allowed myself to be me with SArah, I mean i always hid my redneck country ways, cause i'm affraid she'll hat eit well i hate that i hid them so they're out now and she might not like that so much.
from momma-at-17 :
No I didn't have to sign Taylor over. Turns out the people who handle the applications before you fill them out, lied to me about whether or not I was actually eligible. We talked to a social worker and she said that once he was born he would be the only one in the house that would be eligible.
from kiki1206 :
what did you think of joes crimped hair last night?! by the way a quick little cold pasta salad recipe for saturday. i made it 2x for this past weekend and it's so quick and easy and everyone enjoyed it. -1 1/2 lbs cold cooked pasta(any kind, ziti, spaghetti....)-2 chopped green peppers-2 chopped tomatoes -2 chopped cucumbers -1 large bottle robusto italian dressing. just mix it all up and serve. so easy and yummy.
from icyjewel :
I'm so happy to see that Griffin's surgery went well and he did so good during it. I hope you have a great birthday party for him!!! :)
from bowler296 :
Well thanks you for your note, and feal free to leave moer i appreciate them cause i'm usualy so lost. I have made up my mind (*wink* hopefully it turns out well). BUt i still need to talk to her cause there are a few other things i realized beigna part that btohered me and I just want her to know about them cause it's only fair. If I don't tell her and she does them intentioanlly and I get mad it all coulda been avoided. Thanks for your concern, abotu SArah i mean i don't meat to many ppl who care about her like I do. And Your right I'ld rather be with her for 4 years and realize this is wrong then go the other way.
from appleofureye :
I'm glad everything went well with Griffin. I totally agree with you about the cheesy birthday cakes. My grandmother always decorated mine-so mine were always beautiful. You leave me the sweetest notes-you really know how to make someone feel better. It's a shame we don't live closer!
from hertinyhands :
I am so relieved that Griffin did so well with the surgery on Friday. I wish my stupid insurance company and pediatrician would have gotten it together so Maddy wouldn't have been so miserable with ear infections the first 2 years of her life. He is such a good baby, isn't he? Griffin seems so easy going even when he's in pain. When it comes to the job at the school, unfortunately they don't have a nursery at all. It's a preschool starting at age three and it goes through 8th grade. I think it would be great if they had a place for babies. I think I could totally do that. But, I'm on my own. I don't know if I could find anyone I'd trust with my little baby here. I just don't know anyone here yet, and I'm just getting to know people at my church. We'll see... It's totally in God's hands. It sounds like such a wonderful opportunity to get experience teaching and make a nice salary, but I don't know if it's the best for my family. I wish I knew what was going to happen!
from kiki1206 :
hope everything goes well today for griffin. praying for the both of you. :)
from dukkha-tanha :
How funny, my daughter's name Corinne is the French form of Cora! It's pronounced Cor-in, not Cor-een. The pronounciation makes all the difference to me.
from starlight42 :
Max Brady? Or do you mean Frankie? I haven't watched in a month, but I know Frankie was coming back. He was on ABC soaps for a while, I think General Hospital? And of course he used to be on Days. Ya, that's stupid about Belle and Phillip! I'll have to start watching again to see Austin and Chloe and Brady ride off into the sunset. Oh- did you know the actress that plays Chloe went to an awards show with Bruce Willis?! I don't know if they were dating or what....she wore a skimpy dress, man, she is pretty!
from xx-angel-xx :
That's true-about melinda. They were acting like 14 yr olds, when she was in her shorts. Wes more then anyone though, lol. Awe, I really hope this surgery helps and his earaches go away. I thinks the worst for a little kid to have. I am so thankful that Logan hasn't had any *knock on wood* Once again, good luck tomorrow!
from dukkha-tanha :
I had a few girlfriends when I was growing up that loved the name Jacqueline so much, they would always call me that instead of Jackie. I've definitely always liked my name. It's got a long history to it, on both my mother and father's sides. My mom's best friend growing up in England was named Jacqueline and she always knew when she had a girl that she'd name her that. Across the Atlantic, when my grandmother was expecting my dad, they were expecting a girl and were going to name her Jacqueline. Well, he turned out to be a boy, so they named him Jacques. So I'm kinda named after my dad, and kinda after my mom's friend. When I asked my dad once what my name would have been if I'd been a boy, he said, "Jacqueline". Meaning no way was I going to be a boy. They got my brother's name (Justin) from the name of a doctor they'd seen on a sign somewhere.
from classygirl83 :
I'l lbe cleaning about 15 rooms and making 30 beds a day. It doesn't seem that much fun, but I'll do it any day:)
from classygirl83 :
Thanks for the congrats:) I'm VERY happy.I haven't been thsi happy in a long time. Good luck for Griffin tomorow. I'll keep him and you in my htoughts and prayers:)
from xx-angel-xx :
Oh yeah! you see more guy cooks then females. woo. Mayeb griffin will be a cheif. lol I'd like a man who was able to cook very well. Although, when you see them cooking on tv, them fancy dinners, they don't look too good.
from xx-angel-xx :
wow, Griffin is going to be happy and busy little boy. hehe. yeah, i'm going to try to convience my doctor to sign my permit paper, if she won't i'll take it to my gyno, he signed my last one when i was pregnant but, obviously i didn't get my permit. Oh well, its storming, i guess i should go for a little. When is Griffin's actual birthday? Is his birthday party on the same day?
from yellowrosetx :
My work only gives us limited access to the internet, so I have no access to any of the messenger services. I'm usually online at night on Yahoo Msgr though! I'm home on lunch right now! :o)
from leckalou :
I am just so excited about this season. I definately like Danny and I'm sure I'll like Melinda, I was just so annoyed about her getting all upset about her boyfriend after she was in bed with Danny cuddling and making out!! But, she has nothing to worry about, she is unbelievably hot, and Danny is way cuter than her boyfriend, going by the pic she has of him. Danny is really, really cute. It's too bad Wes is NOT cute, and his personality really bothers me. They've had two token frat boys lately, and I've ended up liking one more than the other each time. Danny is way better than Wes, by far. Rachel and the other girl whose name I don't know are ok, I'll have to wait and see what I think of them. I wish this show was on more than once a week!! I'm addicted. Nothing new is happening with my mom. I haven't talked with her since those emails. I'm just not initiating any sort of contact with her right now. I really need to think about what's going to happen with her and me. I mean, I don't want her in my life if she's going to be so horrible and unpredictable. I guess we'll see what happens.
from xx-angel-xx :
awe. he'd have fun with a kitchen. Not all of the kitchens look 'girly'.We have one downstairs, it fits in a corner, we haven't put it up yet. When is Griffin's birthday? I want to get my license, i am scared to drive. I get really nervous when i'm not even driving but, i'm sure that would change when I got in the drivers seat, b/c i never drove, ever. I don't have my permit. I actually went to get my permit signed by my doctor but, she wouldn't sign it because I was having those Migraine attacks and I haven't been back to the doctor's because its a far drive. I'll go soon because my mom has been telling me I need to get my permit. Here, you need your permit for 2 week before getting your license, After your 18. I'll be driving longer then 2 weeks BUT atleast i don't have to wait 6 months If i'm ready before hand, i doubt it but staying in this house 24-7 is not healthy.
from manda-d :
Ali, could you send me your user name and password? My PC crashed :( [email protected] Thanks!
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, I wish I could go somewhere that looked like my layout. Well, my mom was going to go to my grandma's but, it ended up raining, go figure. I could have went up with my brother but, i would have been there all day and logan probably would have been fussy and cranky with no nap. Well, If I'd get my liscense. My parents have two cars. I wouldn't be able to go anywhere while they were at work, but after 2:30, i'd be able to go out. That would be MORE then i do now. I probably go out once a week if that. Unless I go to joe's whcih i feel is the same b/c i'm still taken care of Logan and inside A house, lol. Is the website, littletikes.com? I need ideas for Logan's party and its like, I don't want to do any cartoon stuff b/c he doesn't really care for any. so, its tough, probably just go with a reg. party, if nothing else works. I still have three months, lol.
from brooklyntcb :
Hey. I've been busy with work and haven't had time to return your note. The wedding is July 22. I also wanted to email yesterday in regards to that commentor on your PERSONAL DIARY. Some people are so bizarre! that is all I have to say.
from makinganewme :
Aww, Ali- Your note meant so much to me. It was all the things I needed to hear. I know that I'm right about the stuff with my mom, but sometimes I doubt myself and having the reassurance really helps. I'm here for you anytime too!!
from dukkha-tanha :
If I can do it, ANYBODY can. Cutting out soda will take weight off over time even if that's all you do. But really, at your height and a size 8? You can hardly be called big. I'm an inch shorter and a happy size 14, and nobody calls me big. =)
from kiki1206 :
good lord, what the hell happened yesterday? sorry to see that someone hopped all over you like that. i am sure you know i went through that only a few months ago but unfortuneatley it was a very close friend that decided to judge me and my relationship. anyway, i did the same thing last night with laguna beach. i was so pissed! i ended up watching stupid reruns of 7th heaven. oh well! kudos on the weight loss as well. :)
from dukkha-tanha :
My first 50 lbs came off in 6 months, after that, it took another year for the other 50 lbs to come off. I think at your rate, you'll probably lose 20-25 rather quickly. Just remember that if you lose it quickly, it'll come back quicker, so be prepared to stick to your plan for a while. Once you reach your goal weight, work on maintaining it for at least six weeks and phase out the "diet" slowly. Funny, I always had the point when I'd "stop" losing looming in the back of my mind, but I stuck with it and lost it all. For the past year since I hit my goal, I've been waiting for it all to come back on, and even though I have been up as much as 11 pounds over goal (in the winter), I've managed to keep it off. Funny how your psyche can argue with your weight loss and affect it if you let it.
from momma-at-17 :
Maybe he's not. But I'm 10 days in counting overdue. I'll probably post pictures and then give everyone the link.
from momma-at-17 :
Nope no baby yet. He's a stubborn little thing. He's got 48 hours to make an appearance on his own before they make him come out. They plan to induce me on Wednesday.
from aidawrites :
I bought my condo for 70K as well. It was a great investment. I think its good that you are with your parents and not spending money on a mortgage, at least you are saving. Mad about Mambo was the worst movie ever. I still watch Felicity re-runs though. I love that show and it doesnít hurt that Scott Speedman is so gorgeous. You know that smile of his? That killer smile? Thatís what Ryan looks like smiling, same big smile. I cannot stop thinking about this boyÖ
from classygirl83 :
I have been baptized. My tubes NEVER hurt me. I was fine a few hours after the anasthesia (SP) wore off. THe doctor sometimes gave me antibiotics to just be sure. the first time after I got tubes I could hear the cat meow, and I could hear a timer go off a watch. I could hear really well, basically. The tubes fall out after a year. Or at least they did with me. My last set of tubes though, my doctor put in huge tubes, and they left a perminate hole in my ear drums.
from aidawrites :
Yeah right honey, I donít make much, trust me. I was actually just complaining about it with the girls at work. All the men in this company make twice as much as us women. I could never afford to live in a house here. Thatís why I bought a condo 3 years ago before the prices skyrocketed. Maybe I should move to Tennessee. I could sell my condo for $200K and buy a house up there. I love Keriís story too, I just love her. I will watch whatever she is on, I even watched CinderElmo, lol. Anyway, the saddest part in the show for me was when they had to cut off Rachelís leg and she died, I had to turn the channel on that part, I could not watch it.
from brooklyntcb :
I did Atk1ns in the past and it works for me. I just have to get in the right mind set. I don't drink carbonated beverages as it is. I drink only water. Sometimes I have an iced tea.
from eggsaucted :
Her highness' doctor recommended that she ride facing backwards as long as possible even though she had long surpassed 20lbs by her first birthday. So even when we switched to the other carseat last summer, she still rode backwards, it's much much safer and better for them if she do have an accident or a near miss that involves quick breaking. She didn't switch to forward facing until fall. The whole carseat thing is a pain the you know what and I still have 6 years to go.
from kiki1206 :
honey you need to just email brandon and get it over with. i really don't think you are going to be able to move on unless you find out what happened. the worst that could happen is he is going to confirm what you are thinking. what are you thinking? what do you think happened? if it is something awful atleast you will finally know. it's not like you ever have to see him again if you don't want to. well that's just my opinion. good luck either way. i just want to see/hear you happy again and it just seems like this is keeping you in such a rut!! ciao
from science-boy :
Knock-knock. Who's there? science-boy. science-boy who? Science-boy misses you but can't get in because the username and password he wrote down are no good!! Hey baby!! Let me know!! oxox s-b
from thaichic :
Mini Abe that's perfect! Ha! Hey do you remember the show Sorority Life on MTV. I wish they would come back with that. I never got to see all of it, but it was pretty good.
from thaichic :
Whew. Don't worry I'm very open-minded on lots of things in my life especially religion. I'm not one to say this is wrong or right. But I won't get into that now since I think I may have gotten you heated. Anyway I agree totally about Johanna, joanna, whatever. She is completely unstable and now that I think about it I could totally see her lashing out on these roommates. Probably why they cast her. I hope Rachel doesn't use her military experiences against anyone. I know my intentions have never been so. I'm going to try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm sure she'll prove me wrong. I already don't like her because when they were in the hot tub I don't think she really wanted to make out with Melinda. I think she did it to save face or give the guys a show. Why are girls so fake sometimes? Wes does look like Abe. I thought the same thing when I first saw him, but of course our Abe is so hottttt. Did you see the preview for To hell and back? He looks incredible as ever.
from aidawrites :
I'm sure everything will work out with Griffin's tubes. That procedure is very safe, painless, and common. Hope you have a great weekend. Oh and Into The West 2nd and 3rd episodes start on Sunday at 6pm. Tonight they are only going to give the 3rd one. The second one is the one where Keri Russell is in the most. Im such a dork.
from yellowrosetx :
I updated finally deary!! :o)
from xx-angel-xx :
I know what you mean! I moved Logan's pool onto the concete because its more flat then in the grass, It makes me so nervous!
from hunterpoo :
I'm glad Mike is leaving you alone though. I havent seen Josh in public, well mostly because we don't hang out in the same towns. But I'm sure he'd do the same thing. GUYS are so stupid. I hope you're doing better today girl. Actually I need to read your entry. Yay!!
from brooklyntcb :
If you over eat with the pills you get sick so you wouldn't do that alot.
from heylee :
We need one of those here!!!! I can see how it'd be cool if someone won, since they'd get the house. But everyone else wouldn't get a house and would be out 100 bucks. I'm kind of annoyed I spent $3 on the lotto last night and that was just pocket change compared to $100!
from brooklyntcb :
The pills definetly are taking away my appetite although, I like eating so-I still think about it. I'm not hungry though it is all in my mind at this point. You have to be careful though because some of those diet supplements are harmful. So far it's working though. I feel alittle extra energy also which is nice : )
from xx-angel-xx :
Thats understandable. Maybe some guy will walk into your life that will take your mind off of brandon, hopefully soon. You never know hwo will walk into your life at any time. Just do what your ready for. Sorry your going through this. Bring alike as my mom scares me too. I'm the same way as you. I hope I get the good qualities. I hope you have a great day :)
from xx-angel-xx :
MY mom and I get along for the most part but, we're a lot alike in some ways so, when we fight, we go at it and at this point in my life, the last year or so, i've been so emotionally unstable, The littlest things make me cry or upset me so. Any fight gets me pretty upset. Well, maybe you should try to talk to him, maybe at this point it won't hurt anything. Your already upset about it this bad. If it doesn't work, then you know you tried your absolute best and you can't give anymore and he's not whats in your future. I don't know. Just sitting there not talking to him isn't helping any bit, so.. I don't know, maybe talk to him, maybe what he has to tell you WILL help you, maybe it won't want you to be with him anymore. I don't know. You know whats best for yourself though. Do wahts in your heart and maybe it'll help you.
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, that's true. I don't want you to get hurt again if he doesn't respond or it doesn't come out the way you want it! (thank you for your note on my last entry)
from kiki1206 :
hey chicky, don't worry about the tubes. it's really not a big deal and it will only do him good. i work in a daycare and lots of the little ones we watch have had tubes put in their ears either before they have joined or after. i really do notice a huge difference in their speaking abilities. it's amazing. it has been caught so early for him though that it probably hasn't even effected his speach yet. their is a little boy that is 2 1/2 and his speech is not too clear bc he needed tubes and it was caught too late. griffin should be fine and good for you for taking care of it now and not waiting. believe me some parents actually do bc they only think of themselves and not effect it could have on their children.
from brooklyntcb :
I'm taking Green [email protected] Liquid soft gel-Fat Burner. I got it at Eckerd. It's at all the drug stores in the Diet section. It's the most "natural" type of pill. All the others make my heart race-I'm not trying to die...
from xx-angel-xx :
sorry about the note before, logan hit a button and some how it sent. As i was saying, maybe you should save the e-mail that you have written out and when you think and know your ready for him to read it, send it to him. I don't know if you'll really get past this if you don't tell him how you feel and you don't find out why it ended. I think Griffin looks like you, he is way such a cutie :)
from xx-angel-xx :
do you think Danielle had something to do with it then? well, maybe save the e-mail that
from icyjewel :
You asked what I am doing for money--I'm living off of the small amount of savings I have and Dusty is helping me alot. I've had to cut back alot of things, no more eating out, shopping, or much groceries for awhile. I know I can deal for this short period of time, it'll be tough, but I'll make it.
from brooklyntcb :
I'm 5.4 1/2. I cannot tell you my weight (it's top secret-lol). I don't want to be a waif or a stick-I have a curvy figure. I just want smaller thighs and arms and a PEFECTLY flat stomach (is it possible to get rid of "the pouch"??. Am I asking to much???
from xx-angel-xx :
I'm pretty stubborn myself but when it comes to guys, i'm pretty much bitter and angry so, if something goes wrong, i have to know, i suppose. Hm, well- do you think you'll end up e-mailing him to make you feel better about the situation or maybe you should e-mail hima nd tell him how you feel but ask him not to reply back and therefore, he'll now how you feel and you won't be sitting and waiting for a reply back? I don't know. I just don't want to see you still being bothered or hurting over him. Just because you can't move on doesn't mean you look pathetic, it takes some time to get over people you felt very attracted to or very into. Its not something pathetic. - My brother is a ladies man, haha. I get that alot, my sister and I look alike but, I don't see it. Yes, Logan looks like Joe. He looked like joe so totally bad whenever he was born and thats when he wasn't around so i was like ' well, he can't deny logan because he looks exactly like him' lol. When people haven't seen Joe, they tell me he looks like me but, when they see Joe they go 'wow, logan looks exactly like joe' I dont like that, lol. i wish he looked like me but, he's a cutie regardless.. wow, sorry so long.
from mathero :
He's 13 and in a very defiant age. He's very rude and disrespectful to my parents. It irritates me beyond belief. He's also "in love" with this girl and he threatens to run away and commit suicide so they can be together. It's really dumb. I try to stay away from him as much as possible. He's a very angry person.
from mathero :
Everyone always says we look alike. Unfortunately, he is the sibling I don't get along with AT ALL. It's really bad. We can't even be in the same room together. Ugh. Anyways, Mia was born 2 weeks early and the dr thinks I won't make it to my due date either. I'm just so uncomfortable and the back pain is bad. I'm just really ready. She'll definately come when she's ready. I heard nipple stimulation worked through a number of places and thought I'd try. Lo and behold it worked! But it didn't stick around. Oh well!! =)
from brooklyntcb :
Your both nuts. You look fine : ) (although I feel your pain) I actually have the most to lose. Your tall-which helps I'm sure. I'm short...
from brooklyntcb :
Exercise is a bi-yotch. I think it only gets easier but it becomes habit (with consistency) and you see results-so you don't want to stop. Like I told Aida, once we all lose the weight we want we should go to the beach together with our new bodies-lol.
from manda-d :
I've never watched Laguna Beach. Not even sure what that's about? Melinda is so beautiful. I was green with envy when she walked out in that black outfit with those boots on... she looked amazing!
from brooklyntcb :
I used to do karate but I can't afford it these days. I walk now with some ladies I met on an exercise buddy website. I need to be more consistant though. Consistancy is EVERYTHING. 5.8 makes a huge difference in how your clothes fit-good for you : )
from xx-angel-xx :
Oh, I understand about brandon only, I probably would have e-mailed him already, lol. but i'm impatient and i like to know why people stop talking or whatever so, i would have already and i actually don't know how you haven't yet but, your probably a lot stronger then i am when it comes to that, i think i want to use stronger. eh, I dont know. sorry.
from xx-angel-xx :
Okay, I was more like thinking ppl had their children walking in them, I really didn't look at it that way, lol. I can be absent minded sometimes. The only time Logan really wears them is when we go out, so he has something on his feet and he's in a stroller or when he's outside, sometimes. There is a picture of Joe in my cast section, it was taken on christmas. I just recently took pictures of them two together but, haven't finished the roll yet.
from kiki1206 :
congrats on the weight loss. thanks for the reminder about the rw austin starting tonight. don't forget about LB next monday night. new season! who would you like to see stephen end up with? kristin/lc? and i love that the GOOD GUYS won. how funny was it when tonya fell out of the boat?!?! hilarious, i almost peed my pants!! LOL by the way i love the theme of griffins party. i might just have to make the next baby a summer baby just to do that :)
from yellowrosetx :
Ali. IM me when you get a chance. Need advice deary! Glad you are doing well!
from theflyingrat :
No, no you shouldn't feel bad! That's not what I meant, I just meant that I'm so different than that. :) So I don't understand all the "girly" stuff that goes on at those kinds of parties. :) Sorry if I made you feel bad, really. That was not my intent at all!
from heylee :
Aw thanks Ali. I looked at MTV.com and checked out the Laguna Beach page. I CAN'T WAIT! I am such a dork.
from heylee :
It starts next Monday at 10. The clip showed a whole bunch of stuff that I think is from the entire season. All I know is, I can't wait to watch it!
from icyjewel :
Thanks for the comment, that's odd that your first one didn't show up. Anyway, when I file for bankruptcy, it wipes all of my debts clean except for my student loans. However, bankruptcy shows up on my credit report up to 10 years, making it very hard to get a credit card, loan, or other such things. It's a double edged sword, but in my situation, I think it's the best option. I'll deal with bad credit for awhile instead of paying on debt that I will have for the rest of my life if I don't do something about it. Thanks for all of my great comments, I really appreciate the support.
from mathero :
I think Mia is growing impatient. She wants her here just as much as I do sometimes. I think she's doing a lot better with the idea of a little sister. Congrats on losing weight! I'm sure you look fabulous either way <3
from momma-zoe :
Hey. I can't get into your diary. It says I'm not an authorized user. Would you mind sending the info to me again? Please?! [email protected]
from aidawrites :
trust me when i tell you my stomach and ass arent perfect. i might look tiny, but i need to loose the love handles and thighs. i need to go on a low LOW calorie diet. easy to say and hard to do because i just ate macdonalds for breakfast! errrrrr!
from aidawrites :
I use a stairclimber at the gym because i hate the treadmill so much. i know i need to loose weight but i cant get myself around to doing it. i eat junk and then i depress myself about it and i dont make time to go to the gym, and i think its because the last time i worked out i was in great shape and im going to go back in and feel like a fat cow. i think before i go back to the gym i need to loose 5 pounds and then i wont feel so fat in my tight gym clothes.
from aidawrites :
You can either a)keep wondering about it, b)contact him and ask him, or c)give it time and concentrate on other things. maybe even someone else. its your decision to make. i would choose b if i was totally clueless about why he lost interest.but if i had a pretty good idea of why he lost interest i would just choose c.
from heylee :
I know!! It would be 10 million times less stressful for me. But then, when I sit down and really think about it, I would be sad if I didn't have the big beautiful wedding I had always dreamed about. Brian and I have talked about vegas a few times, and how it would be so easy to do since it's only about 5 hours away, but we just can't seem to actually DO it. He and I are both too much in love with the wedding site we have picked out, I think it would be disappointing if we didn't have it there.
from aidawrites :
I guess there is the chance that he is with someone else, but if he is maybe that will help you move on. And even if he is with someone else that wont stop him from giving you an answer as to what went wrong. Seriously, i would ask him. Because it was way too sudden. I was once in a similar situation and i asked him what happened and he told me he met someone else and once i heard that i got over him faster than you can say worthless asshole.
from elliemay23 :
Thanks!!
from classygirl83 :
Internet dating is sooo hard, cause you don't know each other's friends, you only hang out a time or two, but yet you KNOW that you like that person in sooo many ways, and you know that you just wish that there was some way poosible to get together, and make it work, and you wish that you could change things, and you wish that you could get inside of his head.................. I know all of this. I know that it hurts sooo bad to not be with somone who says that they want to be with you as well , and you knoiw that you want t o be with them. I just have to think that one day you and B will see each other....Anywhere a gas station, the mall, anywhere, and when you see each other you will just KNOW. Cause, well fate will be the end all be all factor in any situation. If it's meant to be it will some how be.
from aidawrites :
I think you do want a responce yet you are scared of one. It doesnt have to be bad. Sometimes you just have to seek what or whom you want. Honestly I dont like B, but if you still want him maybe you can shoot him a casual email to see how he's doing and things might progress from there. In any case you need closer one way or another.
from aidawrites :
Yeah you are right. Even though it didnt work out with C (because he thought i was too jealous and i thought he was a dick) That email i sent him where i poured my heart out did work. Maybe you should write something and see what you think about it. Writing helps so much. Pretend you are going to send it to him even if you are not, and then you might change your mind and actually send it.
from aidawrites :
I know I shop to fill a void. That is very obvious to me. When I feel sad, I shop and it makes me feel better. But I also shop because I love it, I enjoy it and I think clothes really define who I am. I've been on a Ralph Lauren kick lately, I think I shop there once a week. And shoes, i just cant have enough shoes.
from aidawrites :
I've always had a weird obsession with Keri Russell. I think its because I wanted to be like her when I was little and she used to be on MMC. I even permed my hair. (bad decision) And then I LOVED Felicity so that made my obsession official. She's going to play Tom Cruise's love interest in Mission Impossible 3. I'm glad she is getting back into the spotlight, I love her :) As for B, I know its not like you to contact him, im the same way, but sometimes some things are more important than pride. like closure.
from eggsaucted :
Thank you! I was so happy with how the whole picture taking experience went this time. They say two year olds are difficult to manage for professional photos and this went great, unless you count the fact that in between each shot, her highness ran into the prop room and tried to get into mischief, but it was like a giant toy room so who could blame her.
from icyjewel :
Best of luck at your lunch today with your boss. Make sure you tell him everything that you want to say and need! You deserve to have benefits like any other worker.
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, aren't they? Blah.
from aidawrites :
It is not surprising that its so hard for you to get over Brandon. I think its the idea of Brandon that you are in love with, not the man himself. I think its because you were sort of rejected that you want him. Because you had all these plans in your head and they were never realized because he just disapeared from your life. You had no closure at all. I think once you have closure you can move on. Maybe you can seek him out and tell him how you feel about what he did. Get an explanation from him. But seriously I think there is someone out there for you and when you meet him you will realize that you never really loved Brandon to being with. Maybe you are feeling this way because you watched the last episode of SATC. It made me want my ex too, but the feeling didnt last long. Oh and try Nine West for the stilletos. (i tried leaving a comment but it said you dont have gold membership)
from aidawrites :
This weekend was the second episode and its a 6 week series. Each episode is 2 hours long. You can catch the re-run of the second episode on Friday at 6pm and the third episode will be given right after that at 8pm. It also reruns on Saturday and Sunday night which is great for me because im usually out on Fri and Sat nights. I dont know when they will re-run the first one, maybe sometime this week, so you might want to check TV listings. Its great. I love it. Great family stories, great love stories. The girl who plays the main Native American girl (Thunder Heart Woman) is beautiful and an amazing actress, she falls in love with the main character Jacob Wheeler and he is gorgeous, anyway, i dont want to give too much away, but i cried so much last night! anyway, watch it! http://alt.tnt.tv/itw/
from opalanne :
Hey! Did you change your PW? I've been away for a few months, and when I tried to get in, I couldn't. Maybe I am just old and forgetful, and am not remembering the correct PW ;-) That's probably it!
from momma-at-17 :
It's aloneindark5 the user is alone and the password is secret, Thanks, I know he'll come in due time, I'm just getting anxious
from anita-girl :
No Chad and I don't want to find out what we are having. Maybe next time. I really want that moment in the delivery room where you find out, plus it isn't as exciting when you know, especially if everyone knows. I don't knwo if I will get to go for any other ultrasounds, I think if oyu have a healthy ormal pregnancy one is it. Here in Canada we don't pay for any health care pretty much, so you go where the doctors send you and they only send what needs to be done. As for the 3-D I asked about that, they only have one in one hospital, and they only use it for birth defects and such. I would rather not have it then! That is great advice for the caffine, I will keep it in mind if I get another one! Thanks!
from momma-at-17 :
Yeah, I had a doctors appointment yesterday and at the end he just said "well we'll see you next week." When he checked me I was only a cm dilated and 0% efaced. Jeremy and I broke up and I don't know what he's doing now. He doesn't exactly talk to me anymore, not that I blame him or anything. But yeah, he and I don't talk, he's changed, I've changed, I dunno, I usually write about him in the other one.
from heylee :
When I signed up for Gold, I only did the three month package as sort of a trial to see if it was worth it. And now that's almost up for me and I don't know if I want to keep it going. I'm no where near the picture limit that you are, but I don't want to have to switch over the pics to another photo hosting site because I'm lazy like that. I'm torn. Your idea with just a page for you and Griffin is great!
from aidawrites :
shut up ali, you are tall and gorgeous. just dont get too skinny on me, you look fab as you are. if i were you i would be making millions as a model :)
from elliemay23 :
I don't know what to tell you then sista. When I didn't renew my gold membership my archives were ridden with little boxes with x's in them, but they are just your archives...maybe you could make a page with nothing but old pics of griffin on it (like pics from your gold membership days) and have a link to it if people want to see them. i just dunno.
from xx-angel-xx :
Thats true, it can be because our son's are the same age its just still weird and i'm weird around older guys I don't know or i get paranoid.-for obvious reasons.. I understand puncuation but, i have aweful puncuation, i probably use it when its not needed, lol. I don't like reading diaries that aren't paragraphed as well, its really hard to read or keep tract of what you've read, seems so bunched up.
from thaichic :
Yes it's alast name. My supervisor here saw your picture on your site because I was reading your entry and he said you looked just like someone in his family that lived in Georgia!
from elliemay23 :
Try out photobucket. It's free and easy. Just cut and paste the HTML tag into your entry. Poof...you've got a picture and it doesn't use any diaryland space. That's what we poor folk do. Well...not poor, but have better things to spend our money on. xoxox,Ellie
from thaichic :
Ali, are you related to any Deal's?
from brooklyntcb :
I definetly love that he loves his mom so much : ) Don't they say to watch how a man treats his mom and that is how he will treat you? If so, I'm on to something : )
from heylee :
I, by chance, caught Chaotic at about 8.15. The ending with Kevin and his tribute was horrible. So stupid. They kept showing clips of it through the whole show and made it out to be some sort of secret that we would all find out, but instead it was Kevin talking out of his ass. Very bad. About my apartment thing, well, I HOPE we don't have to move out. I don't think anyone has every complained about us, and the manager has never had to tell us to not do anything so I don't know. It's all so weird. I'm bummed about tonight, No Barkers. :(
from aidawrites :
I feel the same way as you do at this point. Im not going to date for a while as well. I think we both need to take it easy and what happens, happens.
from yellowrosetx :
I updated deary! :o)
from cosmopolitn :
Glad you like the song...I am in love with it!
from janie12975 :
I like the ear piercing. Now I just need a nice pair of diamond earrings for when I can take these gold studs out, lol.
from xx-angel-xx :
I'm totally big on pictures like crazy, lol. I understand that people don't get their pictures developed asap but, i don't months are a lil much to wait.
from hunterpoo :
Yea girl, it was a MESS. I guess deep down inside I thought he could still be a good dad. But I guess the guy I fell in love with isn't there at all anymore. It was a disappointment. But I knew it was coming, so it wasn't as disappointing as it could have been. Thanks for being understanding though. It means a lot to me. Angie is SO embarassed by her son, she's always apologizing. That's my fear that Hunt will grow up and I won't recognize him.. because thats the way Angie feels about him. It's sad really.
from yellowrosetx :
u change ur password again?
from kiki1206 :
hey just wanted to let you know that if you want to lose weight it really helps to stop drinking soda. i lost close to 20 lbs right before i got pregnant, i won't even get into that, and it really started coming off when i quit the soda. did you see the mtv true life episode I AM ON A DIET? the girl lost like 40 lbs in 1 month and it had a big part to do with quitting soda and having a trainer ofcourse. but you should try it for a week and see how you do. it can't hurt. i mean it's not like your going to gain weight from not drinking soda!!
from makinganewme :
Well, Alma has Lance for the whole month of June so she let Robert take him for a few hours Saturday. He always wants to take Tania with him, because she misses him a lot, but usually it isnt do-able because his parents are around. Anyway Saturday it worked out. But his parents somehow figured out what was going on and wonder of all wonders, they showed up to eat there too. Tania looked a little uncomfortable. She loves Gilbert but duh-- hates Judy. When everyone got up to go to the gameroom it was just Judy, Michael and I and Judy said "Gilbert said that Robert doesnt take Tania to the house because of what I might say" and then she said she has nothing against Tania, just Alma. That was the biggest load of crap I've ever heard in my life because Robert suggests taking Tania places and Judy makes snide remarks. She is the biggest two-faced bitch, EVER. Michael told her straight up too- he said "Well you're always talking about how you hope Robert doesnt bring Tania, what is he supposed to think?" And then he got up and left and I followed. I think her jaw probably hit the floor. But, anyway, she is just gorgeous. She is becoming such a young lady everyday. I'm going to be crushed if she doesnt get to come visit again on Friday.
from manda-d :
No, we were in Destin, FL.
from starlight42 :
Silly, I posted the pics yesterday, you have to go back one entry...I'm going to put a note up now on my new entry for people who missed!
from xx-angel-xx :
He claims his family loves me but I just feel ackward around them because I don't know what lies he told them about me when I was pregnant and he was an asshole. I guess I need to get over that. From what i hear, it takes his mom forever to get pictures developed. We went over to his mom's house when Logan was first born and she took pictures and probably 3 or 4 months later she got them developed so, by tiem i'd get to see them, it'll be winter. if they ever took pictures, I don't know how big on pictures they are.
from makinganewme :
Oh, I forgot a lot. Guess who I got to see this weekend? Tania!!!! Robert took her and Lance to Mr. Gattis and we met them there. She's grown so much in 3 months. I get to see her again next Friday. I can't even describe the emotions I had when I saw her. I missed her so much but put it inthe back of my mind so I didn't get too upset. Oh, and why aren't you on AIM today?
from makinganewme :
That is terrible. It's so scary to think that even though doctors are well educated they are still human and make mistakes. In fact, that terrifies me. Not so much for myself but for loved ones and if I have children some day. As far as my moms smoking- I didn't tell her she could. She looked at me and goes "I'm going to smoke, okay?" and I didnt say anything I just gave her a look. Err, it's just frustrating. I know that she can't help it but she's got to get it under control, at least until she finds her own place. That's the only complaint Michael has had with her staying with us. I don't want it to turn into a big problem.
from icyjewel :
Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that your date didn't go so well. *hugs* As far as will power goes (for a diet), just make sure you're not hungry all the time. I found healthy snacks to keep me full between meals and that worked wonders for me. Best of luck, I know you can do it. :)
from eggsaucted :
Not gonna happen. Don't want anyone to recognize my diary because of the pictures. It's enough of a chance posting pictures of her highness. I hardly have any pictures of Kevin, except from the hospital when her highness was born and few other occassions. Plus since he doesn't know about this diary and would absolutely die if he ever found out and would essentially never speak to me again, I really don't feel right posting his picture here, he'd be even more furious. I don't use real names for a similar reason, I get googled a lot and I don't want to be googled for something specific about me.
from thaichic :
Got it! I see what you're saying. You can totally tell I'm new at this lol. ANyway Tim and I decided to just stay with rice cereal till he's 5 months, which will be in two weeks and then we'll try something different, but one at a time like you said. Thanks again Ali, have a great weekend!
from thaichic :
Hey girl. Thanks for the suggestions. I will abide by all of them, but what do you mean by not giving blended foods? So no to baby jar foods?
from soverycherry :
I got a new computer and I lost all my saved passwords/usernames! Could I get them again, please? [email protected] Thanks!
from heylee :
Oh and last night was the season finale. :(
from heylee :
I think Tom lives a few hours away from Travis and Mark, but I'm not positive. It is strange that we only see the two together, never all three. On last night's show, they showed Travis walking in the front door and all he said was hi princess or something like that to the little girl and walked past, but then went straight to the baby and gave him kisses. I don't get that. And I had no idea she was Oscar's daughter. I am absolutely in love with their Range Rover. I love it! Have you seen the chaotic episode you missed last week? I haven't yet. The show was only supposed to be about 6 weeks long right? ah well...I'm sure there's more to come in that area.
from heylee :
Last night, I asked Brian, "does she ever get out of bed?" That's all we see her do. And you're right about them being gone all the time. If it's not touring, it's vacationing. Last night was hilarious when she said at least she was married this time. When I see Travis, then hear him speak, it seems like his voice doesn't match up with his body. He seems like a sweetie, he just needs to pull up the pants dangit!
from kiki1206 :
by the way, i wrote you a note yesterday but stupid me put it in my notes page. it's long so just go to my notes and check it out. it should be the one on top.
from cosmopolitn :
Did you meet him? We are totally alike bc I would have felt the exact same way about wearing the same pants (even though a guy would never know) it is still the priniciple of it right? Anyway I want to know if you met him or not and if not, when you are going to see him next...This guy sounds very very interesting!
from kiki1206 :
good lord girl, i don't know what i would do without ya! i totally spaced that tonight was the mtv awards....gotta make sure the hubby has plans of his own. by the way, just a little tip when you are going to wax the bikini area-you should trim up first with some scissors or clippers bc it comes out easier the shorter the hair and a lot less painful. i have been slackin on that area since the whole pregnancy thing but i love it totally shaved. nice and clean and refreshing feeling.
from xx-angel-xx :
I didn't post the e-mail. So, you didn't miss anything, lol. Sorry. I was just very upset about it and it hurt deeply because he's probably the one person whose been there for me through everything, thick and thin but, i have to remmeber everyone's human, they say things that shouldn't be said and he's only human, he messes up too. thank you for the comment on the pictures :) Logan wants his lunch soo, i gotta go get it ready. Have a good day!
from hunterpoo :
I'm glad it worked ok!! Now the pictures should show up all the way. With Josh's marriage, I just hear clips from his family. They all bash her, and tell me they prefer me.. so getting a clear answer is hard. I'm sure things are already rough since he moved home. He tends to run away from his problems, hence him leaving me pregnant twice. He says she gets assistant with her rent and he can't live with her because of that. Everyone says its bullshit, just another excuse. His family is so awesome to me though. And Hunt lights up when he sees them all, and vice versa. They show they're grateful for me not holding Josh's actions against them, and they love that lil boy. I'm just glad he's got the hint to leave me alone now. =)
from kiki1206 :
don't worry you didn't miss much last night. although i think chaotic is repeated on mtv i just don't know when. don't miss the 1 hour special next week....IT'S THEIR WEDDING!! i am sure i will be infront of the tv an hour early becuase i am such a sucker for brit. but i just wish she would've put some damn makeup on for the making of this. she looks horrid half the time.
from heylee :
Yes we are in the process of changing it, just waiting for our contract to be sent so we can officially reserve it. May 20th is the new day. I'm glad it's in May, hopefully the weather will be nice. About the weight, well I'm kind of getting sick of my big ol' butt, so that is one thing I have no problem with sliming down. I'd also like to tone up, but I think my one day a week at the gym is just not cutting it. :D I'm off to eat my pb and j for lunch now. And I feel like I'm 10 again, but whatever. :D
from heylee :
Sure thing! I sent you an email with all of the info.
from xx-angel-xx :
lol, yeah. thats very true!
from thaichic :
The only thing I get waxed is my brows. I use a real good razor and of course always shaving cream for everything else. I also use Dove soap alot so if I'm out of shaving cream I'll use that. Dove is very soft and moisturizy. I love it. Nail salons usually have pretty good wax prices. Tanning salons too. Do you usually get them professionally done?
from xx-angel-xx :
I agree, Its not like I go searching for people that I personally know to see if they have a diary.
from thaichic :
I tried Nads. I bought it from Wal-Mart when they had it on display with a bunch of other As Seen On TV items. I honestly did not like it. I don't think I used it twice. I tried it on my legs and I don't recall it working. Honestly that was 3 years ago so I cannot remember all the details. I think I remember the goo being real hard to get off though. Try it. What do you have to lose? I may not have been using it right.
from aidawrites :
http://ourworld.cs.com/Aida82C/tony.jpg
from aidawrites :
Ali, you arent making this any easier for me! LOL I dont know what to do! I want to go on the cruise, but Tony is so excited about seeing me, i would hate to do that to him you know? I gotta show you a pic of him, he is too gorgeous!
from hunterpoo :
I'm not a good swimmer at all. I'll get in but I'm kinda nervous in the pool, so I stay in the shallow end. I saw the pics of Griff, he looked like he LOVED it too. Lil boys are daredevils.. hope we're both prepared for what they put us through in the pool. Josh is banned from the house when I come over. It's pretty funny. If I decide I want to come visit, they tell him to leave. And he has to call ahead before he comes home, so that way I can leave before he comes home. Haven't seen him since I talked about seeing him at the store when I had his sister. And he's finally stopped calling - he's mad at me. He's under the impression that I've moved on.. that's why he's mad.
from makinganewme :
It seems like we haven't got to talk in ages!! I've had a lot going on and I guess you have as well. I'd love to go to DC, when do I get to win the lotto so things like that are within grasp?? I know you tried to IM me the other day but my mom was using my account to look up jobs. I don't see you on my buddy list today- hope everything is alright with the daycare situation. We'll get in touch soon, I hope.
from leckalou :
I know what you mean. Tall, skinny, skinny girls look so good to me. As annoying as Paris Hilton is, I LOVE her body. But obviously I will never look like that. I'm 5'3" and have huge boobs and will just never be built that way. I just want to get the body I do have to be as good-looking and toned as possible.
from momma-at-17 :
I'm very excited. I'm also very tired of waiting. I don't know if I will give Jeremy a call. We recently had a huge fight which I wrote about in aloneindark5, so I don't know what I will do about that yet... Also I'm a tad bit confused on what you meant by what are the big plans, so if you would please let me know. Anyway I hope that you are doing well =) take care! Oh! would you mind sending me your new user/password please? My email is [email protected] Thank you so very much, I appreciate it!
from leckalou :
Wow, I can't believe that's Ingrid! What a good picture. Anyway, you are smaller than her, so if that's her, you certainly are fine! I read your note about wanting to lose 40 pounds...you are going to be TINY. Have you ever weighed that little? I read your current weight in your "100 things" and if you take 40 pounds from that? And you're 5'10"? You are going to be so thin! Well, you are beautiful now, but I can always understand why even the most beautiful girls want to lose weight. I've never met a girl who hasn't! I'm not trying to sound like your mother, but just make sure you stay healthy!! :)
from jess1976 :
I swear Griffin gets cuter and cuter every day, if that's even possible!
from dukkha-tanha :
typo retard here meant "wanted".
from dukkha-tanha :
I wnated to share these before and after pics of me here: http://dukkha-tanha.diaryland.com/040629_72.html A little motivation for you. I joined weight watchers with the intention of losing maybe 35 lbs, and when that came off, I went for the whole 100. Working toward small goals a little at a time really helped. =)
from dukkha-tanha :
Um, yeah, what you make a year is excellent for a woman MY age, up here, where I think the cost of living might be higher. But don't quote me on that. So now I can see why you'd want to keep your job!;)
from starlight42 :
I KNOW!!! Someone said to me today, that this time next month I'll be married and the whole thing (wedding and honeymoon etc.) will be over, done. That made me kind of sad!! I think this time next week, with only 1 week to go, I'll be nuts!
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you. Hmm, I never heard of Stride Right.
from classygirl83 :
If I wait a year, i'm pretty much garanteed a job.
from classygirl83 :
Thank you soo much for your notes. THey really mean alot to me.They were very sweet. I do hate Publix, and idealy, I don't htink I want to go through all of this shit, just to end up back where I started. However, if worse comes to worse, that's where I'll end up I guess. I hopethat you and Griffin start feeling better soon!
from dukkha-tanha :
Hey there. Did you know that I lost 103 lbs? I did it on Weight Watchers, which I highly recommend. It took me a year and a half, but I took "the scenic route". In one month, I will have maintained the loss (sans 4 pounds, but I'm cozy here) for one year. And I meant to mention to you, after seeing your pics yesterday, how so NOT overweight you look. About the daycare/work situation...is it possible to quit your job and look for another? With the daycare situation and all, which I can imagine must be frustrating as all hell (I've dealt with similiar situations when sitters were on vacation or sick, so I know how it is). I only say this because until last July I was employed full time, but when daycare suddenly equalled my paycheck, it became necessary to "think outside the box". Like working nights at some supermarket type job until the daycare kicks in and you find another decent job. I know that puts back moving out, but I'm a big believer in "everything happens for a reason", and this sounds like a classic case. I'm not trying to be giving unsoliticed advice (but, yet, I am, aren't I?), just some food for thought. You know, miserable job, no steady daycare, it's almost summertime, sounds like a recipe to quit! Just kidding. Kind of. Take care. Sooner or later, everything will work out. There's someone out there just dying to watch that little cutie patootie of your's, and even though I'm up here in NH, I can't, but I would! =)
from mozangeles :
I am sorry, Ali. I hope that my mention of the mermaid baby did not upset you too much. I am really happy that she is alright. I have been following it for awhile. xoxo - me
from kiki1206 :
k, first off i don't think your fat at all. in fact i was really surprised at how tiny you were in the pictures you posted yesterday. but that dress is no good and you should throw it out. it does make you look pregnant, especially in the last picture. i think because of the stripes. i hope you are not mad at me for saying so. i just don't think it would be nice of me to not say anything. :)
from momma-at-17 :
I am, I'm so psyched. And all at the same time I just want it all over with already. Lol. I just want to hold my little one in my arms. I'm tired of waiting for that...
from xx-angel-xx :
yeah, i know. I'm always worried about that too. I eat a lot so, i always think its going to catch up with me. I hope not but, I think i'll start watching what i eat next coming year.
from aloneindark5 :
Yeah, not a prob Ali. User: alone Pass: secret thanks for wanting to read
from xx-angel-xx :
Thanx, Well. I lost the weight shortly after I had Logan. I never was the one that was able to hold on weight or put weight on So, I guess it wasn't that hard to lose it. Plus. I was all baby so, i gained about 45ish pounds but, it mainly was all baby.
from jess1976 :
Glad to hear you guys had a great time. Love the pictures too by the way. You are so pretty!!! By the way, do you happen to know what happened to Cookie? Her diary is gone.
from dukkha-tanha :
Long story about Rod, but he never really has come back into his life, not in person anyway. They've emailed, chatted online, talked on the phone, but sporatically. He reappeared when the courts ordered him to pay a reasonable amount of child support...when the kid was 10. I was fearful for a long time about him being in Beavis's life, but it's never really materialized. And now he's big enough to take care of himself, in the event that the dickhead should want to see him. Which is most likely not going to be ever at this point, and that's fine with me. Your kid, btw, is fucking adorable as all hell. That smile is so bright, holy moley, it makes me smile just looking at him. And you take a great picture yourself. =)
from aidawrites :
The convo did go well, but at the end i told him i would call him today. and i know i wont, so we can only hope that he calls me instead. i dont know though, he might be a player. oh and he has 2 kids, twin girls and he seems like a good dad but realistically i wouldnt want to deal with all of that. i do agree that a new boy would help me get over clay but right now im just really upset about how saturday night went down and i have that upset feeling in my stomach because he thinks im psycho, when i know im not. it just sucks you know? do you think what i did was psycho? even a little?
from aidawrites :
Yeah you totally looked hot. You look great, I dont know why you think you need to lose weight. I dont think I could call Cory, Im too embarrased about the whole thing, we'll see if he calls me again. :)
from hunterpoo :
It's dumb in this case, but it's the whole.. "i love my son, no matter what he does thing". I mean I love my son more then life itself.. but he better learn how to treat a woman right. They let him move in and out so often because he actually helps with bills while he is there, and they're behind right now.. that's what i'm seeing going on. I think him and his wife are on a break.. this is his m.o. for about this long into a relationship.. scary that i know.
from lanne :
Hey girl - I've been so out of the diaryland loop lately, but would love to catch back up. Can I get your username and password from you? How is the little one? You can email me at [email protected] Hope all is well.
from aidawrites :
You are too cool Ali. Its basically like being friends with a celebrity. You have to hang out with him sometime, im sure he would love that as well, he seems like such a nice guy on tv, even though he is a little bit of a manslut. Anyway, thanks for the details! you know how much i love gossip! heehee.
from xx-angel-xx :
awe, thank you for your comment!
from aidawrites :
oh it was Jenna and Ethan :)
from aidawrites :
Well I love his hair, he's such a cutie pie. I only caught the last hour of the wedding but it was really nice. It was right on the beach and everything was perfect. For some reason I didnt think Rob looked that great, but he is def. in love with Amber. They wrote their own vows and I even cried! Yeah, they had other survivors on there, that Jenna and her boyfriend were there. Some other ones I cant name because its been so long were also there. Too bad you missed it! you must feel like i felt when i missed my DH's finale.
from eggsaucted :
But we know from the first episode this season that Dan dies...the whole season was back tracking and leading you up to it.
from hunterpoo :
OMG. Hunter was doing the da-da-da-da thing, and i know it's bad but me, my sister, and my mom would tell him "NO!" everytime he would say it!! or we would tell him NO, ma-ma-ma-ma! hahha. Hunter doesn't really say anything, I think he understand alot though. He understand mama, grama, ba-ba, puppy, kitty. but those are hings he's around all day.. hahah. With the dada thing, I've heard almost all kids work on that first. I'm just ignoring it. I already said I won't accept it as his first word!!
from dukkha-tanha :
I just did a bunch of reading your archives around when you found out you were pregnant and DAMN! did it remind me of when I had my first baby. I wrote an entry about it here: http://dukkha-tanha.diaryland.com/050121_24.html. You might get a kick out of it. And paying for two kids in daycare is outrageous, which is why I no longer work. Take care. =)
from hunterpoo :
I think with babies/toddlers it's the same as adults. You know how some people are soooo photogenic (like you!!!) and some aren't (like me!!hehe). I think when it comes to toddlers it gets easier because they understand "commands" when to look, when to smile.. yaknow? Babies, you have to be really patient when taking pictures of them.. and most of the time they're done taking pictures before you get the one you want. He's still a baby despite being big and still does normal baby things, so I don't think it has anything to do with it.
from xx-angel-xx :
I"m not saying you did remember everything, i was saying that it being a personal question, didn't bother me, I didn't want you to think that's what i thought or was thinking. I thank you for taking your time out to understand my situation and the people in my life. It wasn't about making it seem like you were judging me or whatever, it was just me telling you how i felt about it. Oh well, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Have a good day.
from xx-angel-xx :
it wasn't the questions, just the way it may have been worded. I knew i may have taken it the wrong way. Everything's out in the open in my diary so, the questions you have asked probably were once talked about so, it wasn't the personal thing. Sorry for thinking you were passing judgment. I'd rather tell you how i thought you were meaning so you could tell me how it really was instead of me assuming.
from xx-angel-xx :
it just feels that there was judgment being passed in the last few notes that were left. I may be wrong and took things wrongly but, that's just the way it had seemed.
from xx-angel-xx :
he isn't a dead beat dad at all. i said it was a sad story, for him. Not for the mother. Its a good thing there isn't child support in that relationship because the mother would spend it on herself or things that aren't needed adn not on the daughter. He took his daughter out himself to buy things for her, he couldn't give money b/c it wasn't used correctly, but they have moved, he can't see her so, he can't buy things for her. theres more to a story then a deadbeat dad.
from xx-angel-xx :
no, i wasn't planning toget pregnant. I started putting aside money as soon as i found out I was. I worked up until i was 8-8.5 months pregnant, I should have worked longer but, oh well. But, you can never be so sure that the guy will always be there so, i put money aside just incase i was by myself with the whole money situation. I've seen someone go through that once, i wasn't going to allow myself to. Joe does have another child, he does not pay child support for her- or not as far as i know, that's a long and sad story, about his daughter.
from xx-angel-xx :
I don't get help from joe's parents... I won't allow my parents to buy anything for me if Logan needs something unless he NEEDS it which is never. I don't ask for help from anyone. i'm pretty much on my own in that case because Logan's MY responsibility, Not anyone elses. Joe does not have a college degree he has a pretty good job, regardless. I saved money, a lot of money while working. I didn't spend everything, I put money aside JUST incase this did happen and my income tax return was VERY good BUT, i can't live off of that forever so, when I see I will be needing money I will get my phyiscal IF my doctor will let me to drive SO i can take myself to work and Joe can watch Logan b/c I won't depend on my parents to watch logan everyday. I will say that Money is rough BUT, i know if I needed it my parents would help out and I WOULD pay them back adn I'm sure the samewith Joe and his parents.
from xx-angel-xx :
The courts didn't set up the weekends. Its something joe and i decided. he can't have him on the weekdays Well, stay the night and he works saturdays so, he picks logan up after work on saturday and he stays the night and he'll bring him home on sunday night. I have no clue why i haven't gotten the money yet from childsupport. I can't work or atleast not right now because everyone works and i don't want to put logan into daycare. i'm going to go get my permit so that way, i can work when joe gets out of work and i can drop logan off but, righ tnow with me not driving it'll be too hard to work and very inconvenient for a lot of people. I went the last time for my physical paper to be sign by the doctor but, with my headaches/migraines she wouldn't sign it that day. go figure.
from hunterpoo :
You know I didn't EVEN think about that! Of course that is why someone would buy it, because it's a beautiful lil cottage style house. I bet in a way the parents are glad to be rid of it too, because of the now bad memories of the place. You were pregnant at basically the same time as me, HEY i was just thinking about it, Griff was early right? When was his original due date? Him and Hunt woulda been REALLY close in age if he hadn't been early right?
from thaichic :
I can imagine childcare being a nightmare. I can't imagine though Aidan in one because I just know they wouldn't interact with him, plus all the horror stories I've heard just make me wanna cry. My mom says she'll go back to work this fall and if it that's the case I will probably stop working for a while. Though my dad is getting the hang of babysitter and he may do it. Tim and I pay them $300 a month to watch him, plus his diapers, formula, etc. I know childcare is way more and it sucks that pretty much you're working just to pay that. It's ridiculous especially considering they probably just feed them and then let them cry to sleep. Ugh I hate the thought. You're parents won't watch them?
from thaichic :
Insurance covered everything but our deductible. If they didn't everything would have been about $15000 to $17000. But since they did, we have like $5000 worth of bills. Labor and delivery all together was around $1200. But I swear every single physician who saw Aidan is billing us, plus he had jaundice, so we had a lot of doctor's appointments. We have Mail Handlers and they are pretty good, but I think we may switch to Blue Cross next open season. And you're right about they pictures, I do want to remember when he didn't have hair, haha! Have a great weekend girl and I'm sorry about Angie. That is jacked up. I'm lucky to have my mom watching Aidan, but she's getting burnt out. Things will work out. You'll make them work out because you're Ali!
from mozangeles :
L.A. is a really expensive place. I mean, there are always the ghettos and bad parts of L.A., but to live decently, you are going to pay something like $1,200 - $2,000 in rent just for a one bedroom place. I never lived in any bad parts of LA, though, I was lucky. The OC is about 45 minutes south of Los Angeles. It is another county...Orange County (as opposed to Los Angeles County). Everyone here is a superficial, rich asshole. There is no culture here at all. I hate it, and I cannot wait to move out of here. I came here for college and cannot seem to escape. xoxo - me
from mozangeles :
You should definitely see it if violent, but thought-provoking movies are of any interest to you. The movie is based in Los Angeles (where I am from), so it hit home for me in a lot of ways in regards to the racist remarks and finding that I could relate to most of the characters in some way was really interesting. I cried a lot, too. It is sad, but the theme of the movie is good. It is basically a bunch of different stories that intertwine. I recommend it. xoxo - me
from xx-angel-xx :
well, he'll go for a nap at like 3:30 or four for like a half hour but, lately he hasn't want to nap. He'll eat cereal at about 8ish and then go to bed after he's done eating. My mom said that if she remembers correctly when her friend was on the shot, she'd have spotting and I don't know if I want that or maybe its not true? Logan really doesn't have a set time to go to bed I'd just like him in bed at about 8:30 or so.
from quinngirl33 :
thank the good lord that someone else agrees with me on the whole britney, kevin thing. i almost lost some respect for her. not in the sense that she had sex with him so soon but that fact that the show is kind of ridiculous. my husband said i should be embarrassed for watching it. by the way, isn't it amazing what wonders makeup can do. she really isn't all that pretty. and she has got a whole lot of acne. she does have a body that i would kill for though. we'll see what happens next week. it can't get any worse, can it??
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, my aunt's husband is sort of a perv. so, we really wouldn't want to stay there, so we'd have to have a hotel and we sorta don't have that kind of money right now, ya know? I've been to different places for school and such but, never the beach cept when i was two but, i'd rather see my parents go to the beach before me. Yeah, i understand the britney spears thing, i watch things that i also don't like just b/c i feel i have to or something, lol. Oh well. Well, going to the beach with Griffin sounds awesome!
from quinngirl33 :
ok, i was feeling a bit sad for tonya. especially seeing as how those girls treat her like garbage. BUT, did you see what she did last night to landon? if you blinked you might have. so landon is lying down totally wasted and their all writing on his back and what not. well tonya walks over and writes something and then proceeds to kiss and suck on his neck!! what a skeeze!! and landon being that drunk had enough sense to shew her away, THANK GOD!! just had to get that out. by the way i thought that sarahs hair looked awful too. i think it's too long for her head. well i won't be updating my diary until i figure out how to hide it from my intruding family members. i want to just start a new one but nicolerenee hosts my diary right now and we don't talk anymore for obvious reasons. i need to figure out what the hell i am going to do. well off to visit you at myspace. victoria :)
from appleofureye :
I know you leave me notes all the time and I feel guilty that I don't. I do read your diary, I just never feel like I have the time to write, or the right words to say. Thanks for all the kind, inspiring notes that you leave. And you are right about Baggage Boy, I should try to overlook some of the baggage to see who he really is. I am just confused about him and Matt-but my life would be dull if I didn't have confusion, right? Have a great weekend-and I hope to talk to you soon! Good luck with the male situations in your life. I know we need all the luck we can get in that department!
from hunterpoo :
That makes a lil more sense now. Your family sounds like mine. My sister messed up my dad's credit when he co-signed for her.. then me being the baby, I got ALL the lectures. Either way, if your dad has ulterior motives or not, I'm glad you got the car you wanted. That is like beyond awesome to me, because it's something that will never happen for me. And I'm glad ya know to appreciate them. =)
from yogamommy :
I can't believe he's this old already. It's soooo hard to deal with. But, he seems so much older too. It's like he just grew up overnight :(
from mathero :
oops, I meant to say, they tell you to have them sleep on their backs because of SIDS and whatever.
from mathero :
Well at first I let her sleep in my bed until I realized the reason she wasn't sleeping was because I had her on her back. They tell you not to do that because of SIDS and whatever. Well she WAS NOT a back sleeper. So I put her on her belly and it was smooth sailing after that. But if for some reason she did cry, I would let her cry it out. Of course not for a LONG amount of time. But I wanted to teach her that she could soothe herself and go back to sleep without me all the time. Of course I'm not saying she NEVER slept in my bed. I loved cuddling with her. =)
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, I'm always worried logan's going to wake up my parents and my little brother too. Well, try that nad see if that helps. Do you give him formula or anything like that during the night when he wakes up? Sometimes I give Logan a little bit of formula (or whatever you give Griffin) and Logan fell back asleep, sometimes. Its hard but, you'll be bale to do it :)
from xx-angel-xx :
When he wasn't feeling well or anytime? I think you mean when he wasn't feeling well (sorry) But, When he wasn't feeling well he always wanted to be held and when I'd put him to sleep he'd sleep for a half hour or an hour and then he'd wake up and as soon as i'd pick him up he'd stop crying and when i'd put him back in he'd cry. As much as I would have LOVED to hold him and have him sleep with me, I knew i couldn't have him pick up that habit so, i'd let him lay in the bed with me until i seen he was getting tired. Sometimes he'd go to sleep when I layed him in his bed but, if he didn't I took him downstairs to play with his toys, even if it was 2am or so.. He tired himself after a little bit that or he seen he wasn't going to sleep with me, so he finally went to bed in his own bed.
from heylee :
Oh, you're right! I don't think I've ever heard him talk either. Judging from what we have seen of him, it must be ganster sounding. Or at least all slang. What does she see in him?
from eggsaucted :
That is exactly what thrush is and it looked just awful, she had all of these white spots on the inside of her mouth. And it's really hard to get rid of. We never did figure out how she got it, since she was older than most children who catch it. It's fairly common and I think it made me more upset than her. I guess yeast infections are much more comman than people realize they only think about the kind that women get.
from eggsaucted :
Thanks! I meant to tell you, her highness had thrush which is an oral yeast infection and when they get it orally it usually ends up at the other end as well and since I was breast feeding they thought I was going to get a yeast infection on my nipples. So we went on all kind of creams and medications, but it really wasn't a big deal it looks worse than it feels.
from momma-at-17 :
No he doesn't call, come by or pay for anything. The only time that he does talk to me is when people are getting on his nerves asking why he doesn't talk to me. But what I said in my entry about deciding on the whole visitation rights and what not aren't about letting him. I've actually decided that if he wants to see his son, then he has one and only one opportunity to do so, just so that he knows what he gave up ya know? But after that happens he won't be there at all. I mean I'm not even planning on putting his name on the birth certificate. I don't want to put my son through a life of misery just because some people think that the father has the "right" to be there. It would have been different if he had shown interest for the last 8 months but he hasn't so... I'm not neccessarily scared about the labor part, but I'm scared about the being a mom part because I only want the best for my little one and I just pray that I can provide well enough for him.
from soverycherry :
I don't know how credit ratings or anything work. All I know is that I have terrible credit and my parents have impeccable credit. I don't know how it works if you have somebody co-sign for loans or anything. Is there somebody you can ask how it works? That would drive me crazy too. You're the one who is only 25 years old and needs to start building good credit.
from leckalou :
Ahh! I just read your note about the MS. Yes, it is very, very scary. The freakiest part is that you never know what you're going to get. Like, she could just have episodes of it, or she could end up totally pralyzed. It's so scary, I hate it. I just want her to be ok. :(
from quinngirl33 :
hi, thanks for the note. i have been so completely lazy with updating lately. could it be that i am pregnant!! anyway, happy belated mothers day ;)
from brooklyntcb :
I hope you get to have your beach trip away also!-and that your grandparents are okay. Everyone needs a break every once in a while. : )
from mozangeles :
Aw poor Griffin! That must suck for him. But you know, strange things happen to babies. When I was born, I had thrush because my mom had a yeast infection (that, because she was preggo, could not take medication for) when I was born. Gross! Hee. I was also born with jaundice, but thankfully I grew out of that. I hope you get to take your vacation to the beach. As stated on MySpace, I would happily watch Griffin if I lived closer! xoxo - me
from momma-at-17 :
Oy I know. I'm so scared, but in a good way like nervous/excited scared ya know? Yeah Jeremy told us he wants to know when I go into the hospital so that he can be there.`
from hunterpoo :
my mom gave me a chance for a couple glorious hours of sleep. i think i'm doing much better now. hilarious we're gonna miss these days down the road, but OH so true huh? thank you ali for the support.. it helps me level myself out. all the girls on here are awesome. =)
from nicolerenee :
Happy Momma's Day!
from hertinyhands :
Happy Mother's Day! I hope you had a fantastic time this weekend!
from classygirl83 :
Happy Mother's Day!! I hope that you had a great day today:) You deserve it!! And I hope that you had fun at the Derby!
from momma-at-17 :
I know isn't it amazing that I only have 6 weeks left. When we toured the maternity ward last night they brought in a new-born who was only 10 hours old and my heart just melted. I'm wanting to hold a little baby so much right now :) But I know that I will be able to soon enough... I just can't wait!
from momma-zoe :
http://www.myspace.com/skreeming_banshee
from momma-zoe :
Hey! I am in WV zip code 25704 and my name is Skreeming_Banshee! Find me! :)
from jennlynn24 :
I read way back in your diary and saw all those GORGEOUS boys you have been with all your life. .Seriously you are beautiful and well the men are all gorgeous too!!! :)You go girl! Ill keep reading, i know i am just assuming without really reading many entries yet.. but good stuff..
from leckalou :
I just read your note about my mom. Yeah, she's pretty crazy. I think that when people fall in love, money is such a non-issue, because there's a feeling of "what's mine is yours". But when the marriage turns sour, it's really easy for the person who makes all the money to turn around and use it against the other person. I would hate, hate, hate for that to happen in my marriage. I would never marry someone who had money issues, it's just so stupid!!
from soverycherry :
They named the baby Halsey -- Robbie's maiden name. It's alright, I guess. She had to have a c-section after two hours of pushing! That sucks. The baby was seven lbs. something, I'll make sure to take my camera tonight to get some pictures. Michael is really tall and he has dark curly hair; I always thought he was hot from the get-go, nevermind the fact he resembled Saget! It just sucks that he turned out to be such a complete asshole! I have got to get a better picture of him. I have decided after last weekend to take a camera with me now whenever I go out, because I just don't care anymore and I want to get pictures of every guy I have ever written about to post in my journal and make fun of them. Is that wrong? I am so sad about not being able to go out Saturday night! I would have taken some awesome pictures that night! I love pictures too much.
from soverycherry :
Secretly, I still think Michael is hot. He got really gaunt and skinny last summer but he has filled out a little again. I was totally attracted to him the other night but he's such a dick. I hope I see him again with a camera so I can take a better picture. I hate not being on myspace today! Katrina can't log in either, something is up. Robbie had her baby last night! We're supposed to go see it tonight. Fun, fun.
from hunterpoo :
How funny! Well it's nice of you to offer up your couch for her. Just hope there's no white couchs involved. Don't even talk about it being weird. Mine nearly gave me a heart-attack. (shyeah!!) I think I always go for the underdogs, that why I like Uchenna and Joyce so much. After that episode with the shaving, I loved em. I think because I wish I could find a guy that would sit there and tell me those things when I'm bawling and hurting. Yaknow?
from hunterpoo :
I totally love that Josh's family is on my side. I always go off explaining my points and Josh's mom always stops me and tells me "You don't have to explain this to me, I understand how you feel, and my son is a jerk for making you feel this way." They can really be down to earth.
from classygirl83 :
Fun Fun Fun:)
from sweet-cynic :
i'm graduating in december. half my firends are graduating right now in may. that puppy cracks me up. it's not my brother's though.
from aidawrites :
Wow i think this is the first time we have disagreed on something from pop culture! LOL, I think Sarah B will win too just because she is blonde. I hate her little head.
from aidawrites :
I guess I liked Krisily from the beginning because she hated Sarah W and I hated Sarah W too. She was a total airhead. I think Krisily is much smarter than Sarah B, she is a firecracker and im surprised Charlie has kept her this far because she totally speaks her mind and guys hate that. Anyway, I think she is the most sincere of her feelings for Charlie, and i think she really is falling for him, (yuck, he is such a cheeseball) but anyway, i hate Sarah B, she irritates me.
from stillsingle :
He also is a contractor, he's self-employed as a carpet layer, but also does wood flooring. He started doing that when we first starting dating and has really taken off with it. I'm happy for him, but just sick of hearing everything second hand from her - like she's rubbing it in my face or trying to make Chris jealous or something, I just don't get it. *sigh*
from aidawrites :
Regarding The Bachelor; first of all I dont like any of the girls he has picked lately, but i really hated Sarah W and im glad she is gone. She was so sure she was going to win and her arrogance annoyed me. I dont like Sarah B because i think she is ugly and stupid, as in, she has the intelligence of a peanut. Krisily is a drama queen, and yes she does have a horrible fashion sense, but she is the only one i semi-like. She is a little more on the real side and i would hate to see Sarah win because her little head really annoys me. Have you noticed how disproportionate her head is to the rest of her body? Yesterday's episode was great, great fucking tv. My favorite line, "I'm beautiful and I cant help that some people are racist to beauty." (ok so im rephrasing, but you remember that monologue from Sarah W in the limo.)
from xx-angel-xx :
wow, that's a good question. I honestly and truly don't know what's going to happen with Joe and myself. I'm the type that holds grudges for awhile sometimes and I just don't know if i can forgive him or if everything he has done to me will still be forever with me or if one day i can forgive him and never let it get me down, I don't know. Lol, sorry for making your answer so compact.
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, you know whats best. People shouldnt have the right to tell you whats best for your son. I hope you get your wish on whichever happens to him, there is a lot to select from. :-)
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, I felt the same way, in a way. A part of me wanting him out and for me and logan to never see him again BUT, i thought he'd be better, he'd change when Logan was born. It wouldn't be fair for him if I kicked his father out of his life because He was ill towards me. I guess sometimes I think better of people then I should and I think they'd change because I'm badily hoping and wanting that. He's great towards Logan, Now. He'll 98% better towards me now too, there are those times he can be a major asshole but, all guys are and I've been very moody lately so, its probably mainly me. it was mainly all becuase I told him I was giving Logan my last name and not his. Oh well. Atleast he's great towards Logan and I already layed down the rules on how he's suppose to act towards and around logan when he's older if not, he's gone. So, I hope he follow by them. I just want my son to have his father, Like I had Mine. (you and I are different so, please don't think that I think Griffin should have his father, I don't wnat you to think I'm passing judgment or anything like that on you by any means because it does seem like Griffin is so much better off!)
from mathero :
I posted the pictures you asked for.
from icyjewel :
I found out who it was because she left me a rude e-mail after I wrote a post about people reading my diary from my hometown. She's mad at me because I didn't tell her about it, so then she went and told a bunch of other friends. It's a pretty messed up story if you ask me!
from icyjewel :
Hey, this is my new place. :)
from mathero :
I have locked my diary so if you'd like the user info just email me @ [email protected]!
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, My parents have been Wonderful towards me and Logan, they've helped me more then words could say. It is nice to have help when you need it :)
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you. I actually got my dress from a friend of mine, it was an old dress of hers that I managed to fit into.
from betchy :
is this the same girl that said she e mailed him because she needed some info on snowboarding or some shit like that? i think i want to kill her if it is. unfortunately i am too far away, so you will have to do it. or hire a hit man. whatever, just sort the bitch out, she's fucking things up for you!!! you've had no word whatsoever since you went round there? nothing? not even an e mail? text? IM?
from hunterpoo :
actually one of the sad parts is and one i'm ashamed to admit.. i do know the girl. well i guess i use to know her. we were childhood friends, she use to be my neighbor. he texted me when they got together "hey remember a girl you use to live by named gena?".. thats how he let me know.. subtle huh. i wish i could just sleep all day, for some stupid reason it knocked me down. I think he tries more for hunt then his daughter because he's one of the guys that wanted a son more. so they can do tough guy things. it stupid. grrr. i loved life as a house. it made me cry. =( because my dad died from cancer, i dont know what i woulda done if he hid it from us.. he was open from the beginning. either way, cancer sucks.
from momma-zoe :
For some stupid reason it seems that both my mom and my ex MIL prefer Phoenix over Malachi. I don't know if it's becaues Malachi has so many health problems, he is constantly into things or what?!?! It absolutly drives me nuts. My mom has always prefered Phoenix over Chai,even before he was born. I remember her saying before Malachi arrived, that she felt bad for him because he has to try and live up to Phoenix and that Phoenix is so beautiful, that he just won't compare. GGRRRR....Told you I think my mom is senile or something!!!!
from betchy :
wellllll Miss Ali i completely LUUURVE the new template....i love Marilyn, so big thumbs up!! i'm so sorry to hear that Griffin isnt well...it must be really hard for you at the moment, so keeping you in my thoughts. i read back about 5 entries, but havent got enough time to back further, so you will have to let me know what happened with Brandon? i thought things were getting back on track before i got sick? guess it all went Pete Tong again? leave me a note or something so that i know. anyway girly, cant wait to see the new hairdo. post pics soon. missed ya, love ya xxx
from xx-angel-xx :
I felt so nauseated when Logan was sick but, I think that was just sympathy sickness, if that even makes sense. LoL but, lets just hope its just the taco bell, you and griffen both being sick at the same time would be aweful!
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, Hopefully you won't get sick. I got sick saturday with the stomach flu, it was really bad for two days, I still have it a little bit but, thank goodness it wasn't as bad as what Logan had. Hey, You never know, you might not get sick.
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, Logan was just vomitting with hardly any pooping happening but when he did, it was horrible. Although my niece was pooping lots, who I think Logan got sick from. I don't know, Its going around here also. Horray for all the parents.
from heylee :
Did you see what their shirts said at the last challenge? Definitely dying for some attention. As for the guys, Landon, obviously hot but still suffering from no-neck syndrome, and CT, soooooo glad he cut his hair(his old hairdo from Paris was absolutely horrid!). I was hoping Veronica would be sent home last night, but of course that didn't happen. It's probably rigged so people who cause the most drama stay in the inferno. haha. Oh and my hot water water was turned on at about 9 last night!!!!! woohoo.
from starlight42 :
I missed the last couple of weeks of the Inferno- were they acting gay towards each other?? Maybe I missed it!!
from theflyingrat :
I don't think anyone has spectacular patience in the middle of the night. Riley used to wake up and want to play at 2am and it was so hard to be nice!
from xx-angel-xx :
that's very true. I forgot that she told him that she knew too. I don't know why his dad would do that. He was probably thinking more about his future then him having a child. he was looking out for his son but, he was totally blinded by the part of him having a baby and how it would effect him when he found out. I totally understand but, I feel bad that he did do it that way. (Did the doctor say how long Griffin would have this virus or do you just have to take it day to day?)
from brooklyntcb :
Hi, are you giving out your new password?
from betchy :
i go away for 2 weeks and you change your damn password again!!!please may i have it?
from hunterpoo :
do you have yahoo msger?? It's easier to explain things on msger rather then notes. If ya do, my yahoo id is death_blooms79, if not what msgers do ya have?
from mathero :
He was a 22 year old with a mentality level of a 12 year old. He wanted to feel important as in having a child. I wasn't ready to have the responsibility of 2 children, Mia and him. He's now living with a 30 something year old, who has 2 older kids and is currently separated from her husband.
from mathero :
Kurt had A LOT of growing up to do. He was more in love with Mia than he was me.
from theshakedown :
did you change your pw again, girlie? i need it!
from yellowrosetx :
did u change your password again? it won't let me log in?
from momma-at-17 :
They were Algebra II and Biology tests for a Math/Science Contest. I plan on just going to a community college after I graduate next year.
from xx-angel-xx :
you never know. Well i will stop talking about him and that'll be atleast one thing that won't remind you.
from leckalou :
Hi, it's Alexis from myspace! I just browsed a little bit and I definately like your diary. I looked through a lot of your pics, too, and you definately had some hotties in your day, huh? ;) Anyway, this diary is may day-to-day diary. I have another more melodramatic one too if you're interested! Talk to you later.
from xx-angel-xx :
Awe Well, Good Luck Then.
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, I understand to some extent. I wish it was easy to throw feeling away for someone and just forget they were even there. Maybe there is a reason he just stopped talking and what not, you never know. I wish he would have atleast told you bye or gave you a reason.
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, Yeah. That's really true. When you look back your like wow but, here in the present time it just seems forever. I really never thought of it that way.
from r-y-r :
I just wanted to say thanks for the password. As for the hair thing, I agree completely, although I had a friend that went to beauty school and once I let her do my hair it was ruined completely, I actually had to cut most of it off. I actually found a great person to do my hair and now its past the middle of my back and very healthy. Now the problem I have is that the girl who used to do my nails is her sister and I dont get my nails done with her anymore, so now I dont dare go and get my hair done there. Anyway, I have an appointment for friday to get a trim, some layers and some honey colored highlights, let hope I dont ruin my hair again. wow, this in one long comment ;) OH, I am dying to see the Amityville Horror too.
from xx-angel-xx :
time sure does fly by. Its sad but also exciting, if that makes any sense.
from mathero :
I would hate to be a surrogate mother. Going through all that crap and not keeping the baby. I don't even think I could hand the child I've been carrying for 9 months over to someone else. Matt and I may have a third. He REALLY wants a boy. But if we do try, it won't be for a few years at least. And that will definately be the last baby.
from mathero :
My parents help out a lot with Mia but sometimes they tend to take over certain situations, which makes it hard. But having extra hands with the newborn and a 2 year old is something I look forward to. Just not the whole parenting aspect.
from mathero :
I was kicked out because my mom felt I wasn't going anywhere in my life and I needed to get out on my own. Living at Matt's mom's was nice. It's quiet. That was one of our options, to move there instead of here. I know my parents would be really offended if Matt and I just up and left to his mom's. Besides, I'm going to need the help once Lydia arrives. It's just a battle in the process.
from hunterpoo :
I'm really happy you like it. Relieved actually. It's fun to try to interpet others ideas of things, but so hard at the same time. I knew there would be a few kinks, but it looks like everything is right now. YAY!! And it was my pleasure to put something together. I'm honored ya let me!! =)
from yogamommy :
Changed your PW again? Can't get in *sigh*. I gave up on both my other diaries. Long story I just don't want to get into but this is my new one. VegasMommy is officially just done. New UN/PW is ymmom / agoy.
from hunterpoo :
wow, it's funny how the tiniest thing messes up a layout! Well it seems since it was in my entry that dland automatically changes the links to my page. So i updated the next previous and buddylist. In the each entry template, find those links and take out the 0's, and then they should work for you. See what I mean when I tell you i'm far from a web designer!! hehe. Oh yea, when you link in an entry close it with </ a> (without the space) instead of <a />, it leaves the link open and when you mouse-over on the rest of your entry, it looks like a link. Just so yaknow!! Ok I hope this works better. I gotta go grocery shopping. Be home in awhile if something else is wrong.
from hunterpoo :
OK!!! I'm awake!! Man, I watched ocean's 12 last night.. so of course brad pitt invaded my dreams. (whew). I'll starts fixing the errors!!
from r-y-r :
Hi Ali, no, I havent received the email, I am having withdrawels. Hope everything is ok, and I know I have been horrible updating, my only excuse is that I work for an accountant and tax season was murder and I still am recuperating. Hope you can send the password. Thanks
from theflyingrat :
Thanks for the password. I just wanted to let you know that you're "previous" and "next" links are linked to Kate's diary for some reason. :)
from mathero :
Yeah, it does suck. I moved out or rather was kicked out when Mia was 8 months old. I moved in with Matt and his mother for about a month or so. Then Matt and I moved into an an apartment for about 9 months. Moved to a bigger apartment for another 9 months and now we're here. My parents have a pool and hot tub so it'll be nice in the summer time. But returning home after being on your own for some time is the worst. Especially now that I'm a mother and a wife.
from mathero :
We'll be living here until at least next spring. Matt and I had an apartment about 45 minutes away from here. We moved in with my parents because I was put on bedrest and we couldn't afford to live off one income. We're now saving for a house. It'll be at least a year before we're out of here. =(
from momma-at-17 :
Oy, I know it. About the PROM tickets: the actual couples ticket price for the dance was $30 but we paid an extra $15 for the after party as well.
from hunterpoo :
WELL!! I had your template all ready to go, and I went and pushed "save" on one account, and stupid me had already logged into MY own account.. well long story short.. I loaded your template onto my diary. I just finished putting another together for myself, I actually like it better then the facelift I just did a few days ago. I'll have a link to the entry where I posted the coding. I really really hope this works. You'll need to add the comments, and I left a column on the older section to archive your older entries, if you choose to... maybe archive the 2003 and 2004 entries? Anyways. Hope you likey!
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind notes, you taken time out to read my diary and leaving notes. They really do help me. Thank you!
from xx-angel-xx :
yeah, on the way to the doctors, i hardly spoke but, he continued to stare at me, which i find very annoying when i'm mad at someone, so he asked me why i wasn't speaking to him and i told him, so i then started on a rant about he either needs to grow up now or before logan gets older or he will not see logan, he said he understood and etc. I"m not going to stand for that, at all. Btw, The doctor said Logan will be alright, as long as he keeps moister in his mouth, if there isn't any, he'll need rushed to the hospital.. but,.I know he'll be alright. How's everything with you?
from r-y-r :
Hi Ali: I hope everything is okay, I noticed you changed your password and wondered if you would let me have the new one, if you can and wish to you can email it to pri[email protected]
from xx-angel-xx :
He just called about an hour ago, acted like everything was okay but, the first thing i said to him "why should i give you a minute of my time" and he was blaming it all on me, that i deserved him calling me that and he didn't remember even callign me it because he was sleeping when he was talking to me. (whatever) He then told me Logan gets sick and I can't handle it, I can handle him being sick, i just can't handle watching him be sick. So, I called him back, left a message on his machine, he then called me back, being such a nice guy, and asked to take logan and myself to the doctor, i said fine, w/e.. I think then, I will lay the rules down, tell him if he continues to talk to me the way he does JUST because he's angry, then that's it. Logan will not grow up seeing his father treat me, a woman and his mother that way.
from xx-angel-xx :
He's stupid. He cares that he's sick. but, he says that stuff to hurt me and make me mad. He's just mature that way.
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, you and me both! You'd think he was 16 or something. The fact that he told me not to call him for anything pisses me off because he knows Logan is sick!
from aidawrites :
lol, im worse, i actually have work to do, i just dont do it. haha, i am so bad. anyway, what is the email you use for myspace, i cant find you with your yahoo one.
from aidawrites :
Im equally addicted to myspace and dland, i probably spend the majority of my day on those 2 sites. lol. one of these days im soo going to get fired. haha. not that it would be a bad thing, i hate my job anyway. oh guess what? im going to georgia in august. some friends and i are going to stay in some cabin in some town close to atlanta, i will have to find out the name and tell you to see if you've heard of it.
from jess1976 :
Did you change your password? Can you e-mail me the new info to [email protected] Thanks!!! Hugs! Hope you are doing well.
from lifeasme66 :
Hi there! Just wanted to say thanks for visiting and leaving the comment! I'm sorry things did not work out for you with B =(, but when it's right, it will work. I'm hoping this turns out too (thanks for the well wishes), but if it doesn't, I know I'll get over it. And YES, I absolutely love The Bachelor/Bachelorette, even though it's such a cheesy series. Hehe! **HUGS!!**
from mathero :
Is there a new password I'm being left out on?! =)
from eggsaucted :
Did you see One Tree Hill? I totally forgot there was a new episode and wasn't home tonight. Can you email me your password at [email protected]
from quinngirl33 :
CT dated a girl i use to work with and he was a real dick to her. she was the one who visited him in paris. Jamie-Lynn. Did you hear what he said to Tanya. When he told her to just put her tits against the wholes. Who says that so blatant like that? He was so demeaning when he said it to. Like i don't he was even joking in the least bit. I think he looks down on woman. I hate men like that. He is kind of hot though. Although sometimes he looks like a bulldog. And I really wanted to slap Tina last night. She was evil to Jodi. I hate bitches like that. They give woman a bad rap.
from cosmopolitn :
Ali~Did you change your password? I haven't been able to get in the past few days... Let me know ok? I HAVE to read your diary everyday, I just have too!
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you.... yeah, Logan normally doesn't just lay anywhere Or stay still longer then 1 minute so, yeah. Its def. showing that he's not feeling well.
from xx-angel-xx :
Well, i got a hold of the doctor and he said that it wasn't really needed to bring him in and i can just give him gingerale or pedilyte BUT, today he's throwing that up so, if he's still like this tomorrow, I'm really going to want the doctor to look at him, even if these symptoms are going through the community.
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, i thought so. I use to watch one tree hill, in the very beggining but then i thought it was confusing so, i stopped watching.
from xx-angel-xx :
Do you watch Gilmore Girls Too? I watch Gilmore Girls but, with american Idol, its hard but, i do believe its been repeats because I tape it to watch american Idol.
from xx-angel-xx :
awww, that's so sweet! A little jealous, lol.. I seen that part, but really wasn't paying attention, I was in the process of washing bottles and I can't do two things at once sometimes, so. awe, a baby boy. she still should have told ephram. sigh.
from heylee :
I'm so disappointed with the bachelor this season. I used to be huge fan of it, but now, not so much. Kimberly just made me want to gag last night when I saw her at the fencing place. Hi, have a little class, and no, I didn't say ass! Geeze. I have days at work where I sit and question why I even bother. My benefits suck and it's not fun anymore. And I make crap for what I do. The only perk is I don't work Fridays. I'd love to take a vacation. I'd use my tax return money for a vacation, but my credit card needs to be paid off first. Sometimes I hate being an adult.
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, I took Ephram and his Dad SO long to atleast get along and now thats probably destroyed. As for him and the baby, I think Ephram will look for his son/daughter because he's a good guy and i think he'll end up looking for him/her. I know, I can't believe he just left jiliard, I am SO angry about that, he deserve it. Now, I wonder whats going to happen between him and Amy, that look so long to happen too and he always liked her.
from quinngirl33 :
hey woman, did you change your password? can i please please have the new one??? what's going on? is everything ok? i know the last few entries have been a bummer but i hope everything is ok. if your not giving out the pw leave me a note so i know your atleast ok. victoria ;)
from xx-angel-xx :
Yeah, i know. that's usually all they ever do. As if that's how real life always is.
from tequilamonky :
Hiya honey! How you doing? A break in to your diary that sounds scary! Am I allowed the new password? Hope you're feeling happier about everything xxx
from xx-angel-xx :
No, you aren't confused, I'm the one that was, lol.. I didn't member ever writting about that, I guess I did. Sorry. Im not sure if i did or not, or if it was coincidence. I try to think it wasn't one, ya know? Oh yeah. I totally know how that is.
from starlight42 :
Did you change passwords?? email me the new one: [email protected]
from xx-angel-xx :
thank you so much. I have I written about a miscarrage for myself? Thank you for caring for myself and my sister ((Hugs))
from manda-d :
Yup, she's a great friend. I <3 her!
from manda-d :
I know! The horse's name is Frosty. The lady did let Kaylee and Ashlyn pet the horse and sit in the carriage. Which I thought was very nice. Yeah, Tiff and I used to work together. We've been friends for years.
from aidawrites :
i dont see an 8 from the picture, but you are right, you always think someone is great looking if you really like him. everyone used to tell me that i could do soooo much better than matt but i always thought he was gorgeous, still do. pictures are weird, in some of my pictures you would swear i am ugly as sin and in some pictures i look better than i really am. anyway, B is a 7.5 at most ;)
from hunterpoo :
He is way behind on child support. When we were together (before prego time) I tried to get him to see his daughter more, even offered some of my check to pay child support.. he always got depressed over the suject. So stupid me, I felt sorry for him. I considered moving to get away from him, but I like his family.. alot. And my family and friends are here. The good outnumbers the bad. They don't really refer to Josh at all. His mom usually calls him "the a-hole". His grampa is called "papa" though, so thats ok with me!
from hunterpoo :
LOL. funny you say medicated. I AM!! It's not all because of Josh though. His parents KICKED him out of his house because of the way he treats me. He just figured he'd stop by on Sunday to do his laundry because thats the day I usually visit. Angie called when he showed up, and I still said to pick me up. I just wanted to be a bitch to him.. HEHE. His ex-wife moved kinda far away, so they never see the grand-daughter. They miss her so much. They're in the hole finacially but they do help with diapers and formula when they can so I appreciate it. I've already said what I think about B- I really do think you deserve better. The feeling when the guy loses interest is unbearable. Don't let it get you down please!!!
from xx-angel-xx :
lol, yeah. Gas prices are outrageous. Everyone tells me i'm better off not driving to save me money but luckily gas prices are dropping here, I believe its 2.09 at most places.
from xx-angel-xx :
i've worked before, at party city, a girl friend of mine went with me to apply we both got it, so we always went together, Then i worked at a small appliance store where my grandpap works and he asked me to work there too, so, i always went with it. I always had someone there, which i was probably a pain in the ass, but they're the ones that asked for me to work them places. I know, its crazy. I often hate it, that's why i'm going soon to start driving. As for the doctors, They normally take forever, they're usually busy so, that sucks. That must be great to have your mom work there. LoL. I'd love it :)
from xx-angel-xx :
LoL, no. I've never driven a car, ever. I was always too scared to. So, I just never went to go get my permit or anything, I know. that's crazy. but, sometimes i can be too cautious about little things. I'll be going in the next month or two for my permit. Its too hard not driven. I just got a hold of the doctors office and of course, i have to wait until a doctor can call me back. blah. Oh, as for Brandon, I'm sorry for him. I don't know why men like to complicate and confuse things. I'm sorry that you gotta go through that crap. One day that guy who Will treat you and griffen right will be there, you completely deserve it!
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, babies are the worst because you don't know whats wrong and its like you can't help them in any way, blah. Thank you but sadily he's still sick.
from thaichic :
Because they're freaking crazy! Crazy I tell ya! Thank god they don't come up that often anymore. Last year they would drop in without any notice like twice a month. It's not that I think they hate Aidan or anything like that. They have two other grandchildren, two girls. Aidan is actually the first male grandchild in their family line. They're just not a close family. They remind me of two very old single people who happen to live with one another because they wouldn't know where to go if they didn't have one another. I honestly think they would be divorced if Sandy knew she would be able to live comfortably without Ballard. Tim's brother, Jim, he could careless if Tim and I existed. He's mommies little boy and is so stuck up their asses. He constantly insults Tim when the family is around. And his parents don't say jack. They think it's just bro's being bro's. Well maybe if they were 12! They're grown adults. The family is crazy I tell ya!
from hunterpoo :
Brandon sucks. I would be like TO HELL with him. Ok, honestly and not being a suck up or anything.. You are Beautiful! You have a awesome personality.. Just look at the people drawn to you on here. You are a strong single momma, and you have a GORGEOUS son. Any man that treats you LESS then a queen, doesn't deserve your time. He is a Grown-ass man, no time for no high school games, especially when he's changed his story in less then a month. I think you deserve better then how he acted. But thats my opinion.
from quinngirl33 :
she really didn't take it that badly. although i am not quite sure if she is just holding it all in. maybe it just really hasn't hit her yet! but let me tell ya, she is going for the jugular(?) in the divorce settlement now! yikes, i really feel for my dad now. ewww poopy! kev use to projectile poop on me when he was an infant. lovely ;)
from aidawrites :
I think most of those women are full of shit. and the small percentage of women that are successful and dont see family as a priority are mostly lonely and miserable. i think the women who are really happy being single are the ones who are divorced. they were miserable in their marriage and now are much happier alone. marriage really isnt a fairy tale if you think about it. one of my best friends is on the verge of divorce and she cant wait to be single again because she said she really did take it for granted. i prefer to be single than be part of an unhappy marriage. of course my dream is to find a wonderful man and fall in love. but falling in love and having that person love you back is something that seems unrealistic at the moment mostly due to the fact that i am impossibly picky and have the worst luck in love of any woman alive.
from aidawrites :
old maids sounds so depressing. how about fabulous single successful women? (it's a working title, in my case success is still far away)
from aidawrites :
Sorry to hear you are getting that disapointed in Brandon. Join the club, its the story of my life. Why is it so hard to find a good man? I've been dating since I was 15 and I'm tired, where is he?! LOL ( that was sooo a line from Sex and the City) heehee...
from aidawrites :
I didnt know there were such things as "Dry counties" that is sooo weird. It must be a southern bible thing. What a total drag! I think i would go insane living somewhere like that. I know in Utah drinks cant be above a 3% alcohol level, but at least they have alcohol, lol. i cant get over this. Too bad you guys dont live in the same town, i hate that, i actually refuse to date guys from Naples and Naples is only 30 minutes south of me.
from quinngirl33 :
by the way, i am finally unlocked.
from quinngirl33 :
well isn't he just the cutest thing ever!! i got a sonogram today and posted the pics at my yahoo website. http://www.photos.yahoo.com/greeneyedgirl1469 enjoy :)
from krugerpak007 :
I can't read you. My email isnt working and I am on the hospital computer. Hope you are well! xoxox
from ohnobaby :
Oh Griffin is the most gorgeous baby ever! I hope mine turns out 1/2 as cute as he is :)
from aidawrites :
I think regardles of who he takes after Griffin is going to be gorgeous. From the pic I remember of Mike (we need a code name for him too, how about Fucking Asshole? LOL), he was good looking too. Although Griffin looks just like you right now.
from hunterpoo :
Yea true, he is a loser. I dunno why I'm trying to see the bright side of her situation, I'm usually such a pessimist. It's kinda cool that she looks out for his kids too though, I mean she doesn't HAVE to.. but she does. I know she's buys them a lot of things, and I know it's only material possesions.. but sometimes thats the best you can do without invading someone else's (mom's) territory. I know I've made stupid decisions, like taking Josh back after I KNEW what he did.. but like I told my sister, it was MY stupid decision to make. Guess that's why it doesn't bother me with Britney being with Kevin, it's her mistake to learn from.. yaknow?
from ohnobaby :
I laughed so hard when I read the whole Britney/Ashton/Demi thing. I agree with you 110%. There goes Britney's perfect body...anyway, just wanted to say that and to say hi. :)
from mathero :
He just didn't like it, I guess. He's hooked on Maddox but I'm totally against it. He's so damn picky!
from lonelyintx :
I lived on teething tablets from walmart when kev was teething. i am not sure if you can get them anywhere else. well i'm sure you can. they are homeopathic and 100% natural and you just dissolve them in a bit of water on a spoon and just suck it up with a syringe and give it to them. it really helps with the pain and helps them sleep. i think it's so much better than giving them orajel every 10 minutes. orajel just seems so bad for them. oh, the name brand is Hyland's. they are also so much more inexpensive than orajel. i love to give advice if i have it to give. hope it works.
from mathero :
Now that I think about it..wasn't there a real world girl named Kyah? I think it was spelt differently though. I hope Matt likes it. I really really wanted Maren and that got turned down. But maybe he'll like this one.
from mathero :
The south seems so laid back and dreamy. Maine is laid back but in a different way, I think. I hate the city for sure. The southern towns seem so peaceful.
from aidawrites :
B needs to get over it, it really wasnt a big deal what you did. he sounds way too sensitive, and i dont mean to insult him because i know you are crazy about him, but really, get over it B! Oh and damn google, its both a blessing and a curse. when someone googles me they can basically find anything they want to know about me and it scares me to death. The first results are my amazon.com reviews and then its pretty much a bunch of other stuff that i wish wasnt out there. i guess they can even read our notes on here. in fact, im so sure M reads my notes. fucker. I think Christina Aguilera's guy is butt fuck ugly but it looks like they really love each other and they have been dating for 2 years so it makes sense that they get married. but Britney knew Kevin for like 2 days before they were engaged. What the hell is her fucking hurry? she is 23! she must be very insecure and have some serious issues. Ive only heard horrible things about her from people who have seen her partying in Miami. They've told me she is totally stupid and immature. I feel sorry for the child she is carrying. Her career is a joke as well.
from mathero :
Maine is really quite beautiful but awfully cold in the winters. I'd like year round warmth please!
from mathero :
Yes. Sadly, I live in Maine. I've been thinking about moving to the South. Though I'm sure I'll never do it but it's nice to dream. I'm wide awake and can't sleep so I figured I'd do something to pass the time.
from momma-zoe :
He has done quiet a bit of "psycho" things. All the drugs he has done thru the years, has not helped his mental illness in anyway, only made it worse. The boys do stay the night that one day a week, I just pray extra hard those nights that God will keep them safe and no harm will come to them. I'm glad he is wanting to meet my boyfriend too, my ex doesnt know we are going to get married or anything, but he knows we have been together for quiet a while. At first he was PISSED {to say the very least} so this is why I'm so surprised he is wanting to have a dad/step dad relationship with him. Thank you for all your concern. :)
from momma-zoe :
Hey, my ex is a paranoid schitzophrenic. Has been for a little over 10 years, but due to the paranoia he suffers from, he believes the drugs that are suppose to help him, are used by the goverment to make him think like "normal" people and not use his "higher intelligence" to prove faults in the goverment and such. {there is more to it than that, but there isnt' enough room here on this page, or a 100 pages to tell it all!} Ike can just snap, and it scares the hell out of me. He only sees the boys 1 day a week and even so, he is surrounded by a house full of roomates who know he is schitzophrenic and my brother tends to hang out over there with them. I have a tendency to stop by unannounced and will just walk in the door without knocking, just to see how he is doing with them. And I can tell how he is doing mentally by his voice, and I call a million times the day the boys are there, to check. It still scares the hell out of me though....
from starlight42 :
Haven't been reading myself much lately...so far, most of the Today Show book club picks I've enjoyed. I also love Luanne Rice, have you tried her? If you like any mystery books, Michael Connelly is really good!
from hunterpoo :
What a jerk!! Some people are just like that though. Maybe it's actually better they're not in Griffin's life, because then he won't learn their snobbiness.
from hunterpoo :
I don't actually get to spend a lot of time with Nicol anymore. She lives about 1/2 hour away, but her grandpa and brother live right by me, so that is why she is still around. Otherwise, I'd really never see her. She leads a BUSY life and has a controlling husband.. we are still great friends, but I wouldn't call it best friends anymore. It can be hard to keep childhood friends once you grow up huh? And remember, SHE could try harder too.
from aidawrites :
I just totally hate myself now the more I think about the things I said to Matt. I gave him the pleasure of knowing how I still feel and it makes me weak and pathetic, I fucking hate it, I donít think I can talk to him ever again, my pride was totally wounded. Why is it so easy for men to move on and not for us? Iím very weak b/c I fall for Mattís trap every time. It probably meant nothing to him, maybe it was all in my mind that he still cared about me. Itís completely irrelevant to him how I feel. I hate men.
from xx-angel-xx :
I know, its very hard to coparents. It would be different if the mom and dad lived together, ya know? I hate giving up logan on the weekends! Well, In my eyes Mike doesn't deserve to be there, he wasn't there the other part of Griffen's life, yeah, sure.. He's not that old BUt, so much has happened in that spand. Good Luck with that. I hope he doesn't try to come "save the day" your much better off without him!
from xx-angel-xx :
Everythings going pretty decent, for now *knock on wood*. Things between joe (logan's father) and myself, since Logan's baptism has been pretty good. No fighting or anything like that, well maybe an arguement here and there. But, Things with Logan and myself are great! Couldn't ask for anything more. :) Thank you for asking!
from xx-angel-xx :
lol, yeah, I know I love Caller-ID too. I don't understand why out of the blue he just tries to contact you about Griffen, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Well, for you and your son's sake, I hope he leaves you two alone!
from xx-angel-xx :
Thank you! Yeah, I think i'm going to do that too. I heard if you hit like *87 on your phone, it blocks all the calls so you don't have to call your telephone company, I'm not exactly sure how true that is though.
from quinngirl33 :
sorry ali, i think i am going to keep the diary to myself for a bit. i really need to let go of some of the anger and i think this is the only way. i will be back though and i am still updating so when i unlock you can catch up on things.
from classygirl83 :
Thanks fory our note yesterday. It was extremely sweet. I think that I might look into CNA school. I Didn't even know that the Red Cross offered it. I was gonna go through the community college here. I hope that you get things right with Brandon! I'm glad that you got new clothes this weekend!! I got some too!! I hope that your week goes by fast and great:)
from soverycherry :
We were trying to figure out yesterday if Isaiah is still cheating on her. We figure he has to be - I don't see him as being able to stop. Back before she started going to all of his shows, he was doing just that - making BANK and hooking up with different girls every weekend. Why would he ever stop? I just can't see him as somebody who would ever settle down to get married and have babies. He's not the type. But then again, I never thought I was the type either - I think that's one of the reasons why the two of us always got along so well. I can't even count the times he and I had hooked up in the past.
from soverycherry :
I know. He's almost 28 though and shows no sign of stopping his ways. He's led the same lifestyle ever since he got out of high school - TEN years ago now. That's kind of pathetic. Everybody else has moved on in their lives and he's still doing the same old shit he's always done. She's a year younger than we are, so you would think she'd want more. I wonder if she's realized yet that she's not going to get it. I can't ever see Isaiah married or even settled down at all.
from soverycherry :
Okay, I'm about to read your email. I understand how you feel, though. That's what I do - pull away and act bitchy when it seems like there's disinterest in the other party, even though I'm just really hurt, you know? It's totally a defense mechanism and I have apologized countless times to various people for doing just that. It's hard not to do that. Anyway, Isaiah and his stupid girlfriend have been together on and off for over four years now. He has cheated on her like, 900 times. She can't not know about it, and that's why I don't feel sorry for her at all. They used to live together and he kicked her out! But she got back together with him anyway. I have a theory that the reason why they're together is because she is so damn fugly that he knows he can treat her like shit and she won't go anywhere because she won't be able to get anybody else. She used to never ever go to his shows but we think somebody tipped her off so she goes to all of them now, I guess to assure that he won't mess around behind her back. And every time we ask him how they are, he makes a terrible face and says that they're fighting. It's so stupid. Okay, I'm going to read your email now.
from soverycherry :
I do think that John to you is like Isaiah to me. You know how bad he is for you but you just don't care! Despite how many times in the past he and I have hooked up, I would just absolutely LOVE to make out with him, just once. I don't think we've messed around since December of 2003, we're due for another round here soon. The only problem is that his fugly girlfriend is always out at his shows, so I don't know when we'd get a chance too. I can't believe how attracted to him I am when I'm around him; it's scary. So are there any new developments as far as Brandon is concerned? Did you talk to him this weekend?
from momma-at-17 :
I just don?t know, honestly there are so many things that are causing problems. I just found out earlier today that someone whom I used to be very close to has been starting quite a few of the rumors that are going around. Needless to say at this point I blame her for the majority of our problems.
from quinngirl33 :
wow, we have alot in commom. no wonder your diary is my favorite!
from mathero :
Thanks so much!
from kris-tee :
I'm so fucking irritated at Brad right now. I wanted to go tanning and he threw a fit about everything being all about me. I am so fucking sick of this. I am mad, I just missed you, you were just online. Dammit. I have Tanner and Hailey tommorrow because I am a nice person and I told Sherri I would watch them. I think I am going to take them to the park. I seriously hate Brad right now. really. What a dick. He actually had the fucking nerve to say, "we're not going to Florida". Is he crazy? I am NOT ten, I am NOT his child, he does NOT tell me what we are doing and what we don't do. You know what I love about me? I don't need him and I know it. I am very independant when it comes to that kind of stuff. I don't feel like I need him or any man. Ew Ali, you should have seen his ex girlfriend, the girl before me, she was so gross. I just kept looking at her thinking, wow. I mean, she is not like a whore or anything, she's just a complete dork/nerd and fat. And bad skin. Ew, I just want him to realize what he has, that won't happen though until were through. Ok, enough rambling. I did not feel like writing all this in my diary. Sometimes I just don't feel like hearing what people have to say. Sometimes I just want to turn my commments off.
from theflyingrat :
Hi. I'm pretty sure I don't know you and I would like the password if you don't mind. :) [email protected] ~Thanks.
from mathero :
Can you let me know how to work the haloscan commments? Thanks a bunch!
from hertinyhands :
Okay, so I feel like I know you from your comments, but I've never read one of your entries. If you want to let me in, leave me a password. Thanks! ;)
from sweet-cynic :
she moved out when i was still in grade school..she has a husband and two kids now and i go years and years without hearing from her. i dont know why my parents didn't just make her.. i forget. theremust be some reasoning. all i remember is that she didnt let me pee, and then eventually my parents (after it never stopping) put in a baby potty for me.
from soverycherry :
Ugh! That sucks. So what are you going to do? Are you going to make it Saturday night instead, and just be tired the next day? I think it might be worth it!
from soverycherry :
Oh, what do you mean you don't have friends? You do too. And I also think that's what I miss the most: being able to spend my money how I saw fit. Now my whole paycheck is gone within about an hour of receiving it! It's depressing. I'd never had to really curb my spending that much before now, and now there *is* no spending on things other than for the baby. That's hard to get used to more than anything! Again, I JUST NEED TO WIN THE LOTTERY.
from soverycherry :
I saw the other day where you were going to read that. I was going to ask you about it. I love her books. Did you know "In Her Shoes" is going to be out (as a movie) soon? I can't wait. Jennifer Weiner also has a 'blog, at http://jenniferweiner.blogspot.com/ just so you know! I really hope your mom doesn't have to work that day. When do you find out? And if she does, maybe being tired for Sunday School will be worth it? I think so. These days I just feel so out of the loop when it comes to my friends. I can't go and hang out when they can anymore, and when they get together and talk about "When [name] did this..." and "The other night when [event] happened..." and about partying and going to bars and stuff... I feel so left out. I thought I wanted to leave that lifestyle behind, but I guess I miss it.
from soverycherry :
I think cooking for him and then watching movies is a great idea. That way it will just be you two, and *only* you two. (As opposed to being out at a bar or restaurant or someplace like that.) I just know that things will fall into place for you guys! How could they not? Things will work out. As for motherhood, I know things will get easier as the babies get older. At least, I hope they will. Right now, even if I wanted to I couldn't date anybody. I could just imagine asking my parents to watch P and then tell the guy "Oh, I can only be out for three hours or so but I have to run home if my parents call me and tell me to do so." Yeah, that's really conducive to a good date, right. It's just frustrating for me knowing that my friends are out having a good time while I'm sitting at home. Or that I always have to show up late and leave early. Like two weekends from now, Callie is having a housewarming party, and then we're all supposed to go out for drinks. I had to tell her that I could go to her house and maybe have a drink there, but I'll have to head home right afterwards. P's sleeping habits are so erratic lately; sounds like he and G are doing the same thing. He used to sleep from the time I put him down (eightish or before) to AT LEAST 2am, sometimes not waking up until 3am or 4am. These days, he's usually awake when I get home from the gym after putting him down at the regular time! And then he might wake up at 11pm or midnight or 1am... Who knows? That's why I haven't been able to go out at all lately. My parents would kill me if I was out somewhere and they were stuck having to wake up with the baby and take care of him. I do feel selfish, but you know what? We are not just "Mommies." There is so much more I want to do with my life. Yes, that is a huge part of my life now, but sometimes I feel like the Mommy part of me defines me and what I can and cannot do. And I don't like that one bit.
from aidawrites :
Yeah, i did a list about a year ago and so much has changed too. Amazing how much we mature even though we dont realize it. I think its interesting that you used to think you were materal and now you dont feel so much anymore. I wonder if i will be the same way. Its just that I am so protective of my little brother and I care so much about him that I feel Im going to be a good mom someday and really enjoy it. Honestly I cant wait to have a baby, but then again, its another thing actually having one. I guess its one of those things you cant relate to unless you are there.
from mathero :
Yeah, I'd like to know how to work those comments!
from mathero :
It actually had nothing to do with that specific entry. It was just everything that she stood for. Yuck yuck yuck.
from soverycherry :
Thanks for the nice words. I just don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable in my skin ever again. Pre-baby, even when I weighed more than I do now, I still felt okay. At least, okay enough to still have sex. These days? You couldn't PAY me to have sex, my body is so gross. My stomach is all stretched out and jiggly and it's nasty. I can tell that it's decreasing in size, though. I'm sure thanks to the AbLounge! I just hope I'm not destined to be one of those women who you see on plastic surgery shows getting a tummy tuck because of their post-baby flabby stomach. Gross. I feel like if I worked out all day and all night and did crunches for the rest of my life, my stomach will never be flat again. And I'd just be so dissastisfied and never happy even if I had a kickass body but a gross stomach. Yuck. I am obsessing over this, and that's awful. And also, what you said in your note? You might weigh more than I do, but you're also three inches taller than me! That has a lot to do with it. You look fantastic in the pictures you post.
from heylee :
Are you and Brandon going to try to get together soon? I really hope you guys get to spend a day together with just the two of you. Has Danielle said anything else about why she went behind your back?
from heylee :
That is so strange that she would tell you NOT to IM him. Did she not want you to find out that she got ahold of him? Something just doesn't seem right...Did she flirt with him at all when you guys all went out for your birthday(she was there right?)? Oh, and I FINALLY got a gold membership, well actually I'm just gonna try it for the 3 months to see if I like it, but there are a few pics of us and where we would like the reception on my last couple of entries. I am going to be taking MASSIVE amounts of pictures here soon for all of the wedding stuff. Be prepared! hehe!
from soverycherry :
Oh, you are definitely still at the top of the scale. Me? Not so much. I feel disgusting. And ugly. And fat. And old, whenever I go out and see all the thin, cute 21 year-old girls. It's sick. Anyway, I just don't know what she was thinking, emailing him like that. I hope she knows it just made her look like an idiot and a fool, and Brandon thinks so as well. I am so glad you guys are at least talking again and that he told you about the email!
from heylee :
Hahaha. I know, I'm a total slacker when it comes to the dress shopping. I had sort of seen a dress I LOVED when my sister bought her wedding dress a year and a half ago, but I don't know how it will look on. It was beautiful in the store, but on me, it could be a whole different story. :D About your friend Danielle...I would understand if she asked you for his email to get info on the rafting, but to just go behind you and take it off the mass email and email him more than once without even MENTIONING it to you sounds very strange. Has she ever done anything like this before?
from betchy :
you cant stop being crazy about someone, no matter how much you want to. you just have to ride this one out. and if i were you, i would steer clear of you "friend" for a while. like you said, at least Brandon told you about it.
from soverycherry :
Ha, Katrina and I were talking about the number scale one day! Like, it drives us NUTS when you see a guy who is a ten and he's with some girl who is a one or two! It makes us so mad. I wouldn't even know what I am these days. I used to be an eight, possibly even a nine, but now I feel like a two. Ugh.
from betchy :
if it was me i would go steaming in there and be like "who the fuck do you think you are e mailing my man, you little hoe-bag? did you think i wouldnt find out? well i have. is that why you told me not to talk to him? huh? huh? you fucking bitch" but i expect you could probably handle it slightly better than that!
from soverycherry :
I remember one incident when I was still dating Jonathan - I was out of town for the weekend, and my current "best friend" Mandy and a few other people had run into him and his stepbrother downtown. Well, Mandy had made some mention of everybody getting together at J-No's apartment late night to play cards or whatever, which he thought was mildly weird. According to her, she didn't even like him all that much, and was certainly not attracted to him. Right. Anyway, he didn't hear from her again that night until FOUR AM, when she just showed up (without calling!) at his apartment, by herself! Well, too bad for her, Trey (his stepbro) was staying the night there, so she was out of luck. (Like he would have done anything anyway, but still.) He told me about all this when I came back, before I talked to her. I was SO MAD. I knew that she had his number in her cell phone, so I couldn't fathom why she hadn't called him first before just showing up at his place. Did she think he'd be by himself if she waited long enough? Anyway, I can't remember what I said to her, or if I even confronted her about it. All I remember is asking her what she had done that night and she got really defensive and weird and just laughed, not mentioning one single thing about J-No. UGH. Again, girls SUCK.
from mathero :
Thanks. I'm sure this pregnancy, living with my parents and him working more hours doesn't help the whole situation. I know our love for each other isn't any less. So I just need to deal. =)
from aidawrites :
I wouldnt say anything if i were you. I don't like confrontation between friends. I would just keep it in mind so you know what you are dealing with. It goes to show you never really know anyone, especially women who will run over whomever for some male attention. There are lots like that out there. It's hard to find a friend who will never go near someone you like. It's rare when a friendship is stronger than personal gain.
from soverycherry :
Call her on it. Don't seem suspicious at first, just maybe casually say something like, "So, I talked to Brandon yesterday and he mentioned that you were thinking about white water rafting?" or some shit and see what she says. She obviously doesn't want to get caught for what she did, and that's why she told you to not talk to him! Ugh. Girls suck.
from betchy :
Dannielle is a bitch. and a backstabbing one at that. what kind of girl contacts her best mates guy? especially if they arent talking!!! you should say something to her definately. on the plus side at least you and Brandon are talking again. thats great!
from mathero :
At least I'm not alone. I feel awful for not liking it. I feel like I should LOVE it as I hear most pregnant women do. But I'm glad I'm not the only oddball. =)
from mathero :
I was just cruising through your archives and saw your baby pictures. Oh my god, do you look EXACTLY like Griffin. It's too cute. My daughter looks nothing like me. I hope this one will. But you get what you get I suppose. =)
from lonelyintx :
I just had to say that your entry yesterday could've so been a Sex and the City episode!
from anita-girl :
HEy! I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, in Canada. It gets really cold here in winter, and it' snow just starting to warm up. The nice thing is that it's always pretty sunny which is really good in the winter. It won't get really warm here until mid May. Today is 57 F. The summer is really nice though so I look forward to that!
from sweet-cynic :
theres a special code for diaryland diaries that are listed in one of the help forums on the site
from aidawrites :
You totally have to see Closer, I bought it as soon as it came out and have seen it 3 times already. And yeah, its soooo hard not to fall for a bad boy. They are irresistible. Dangerous, but irresistible.
from sweet-cynic :
hmm, what's your code for the haloscan? maybe you're hard coding and are notusing diaryland short cuts.
from hunterpoo :
to get a space between the boxes, put <br> for how many space you want, one of those is the same as a regular click of enter. I just edited the other coding that i had posted, took out the stuff that messed it up. if you want to try to copy and paste from that same page. =) i hope it works. if not, at least that box is out of your archive list. =)
from jesscampbell :
Hi There, I notice that you are a favourite read of a lot of people. I was hoping I would be able to get the password to your diary so that I may enjoy what many others obviously enjoy about your writing. My email is [email protected] Thanks so much.
from r-y-r :
Just wanted to let you know I am still reading, for some reason my comments aren't showing up on your page.
from hunterpoo :
ok i took out the extra < br >'s. sorry bout that forgot to turn off the paragraph breaks. It's back up on my page, you should refresh the page once you get there just to be safe. hope this time works.
from hunterpoo :
argh. I forgot about the extra coding dland adds. I'll take it out. i'll post the cleaned up codes in a lil, i'll let ya know when.
from momma-at-17 :
Our school is huge. It's one of the three main high schools in the city.
from soverycherry :
Aw, how sweet of him! And I think you know who I am!
from hunterpoo :
I hope you checked your capris by now!! Go to my page, it's all for you right now!! =) I'm gonna nap for a lil, let me know if there's anything else. =) Hope it works right and good luck!
from soverycherry :
I haven't heard a thing from Jeremy. No surprise there, though. My mom talked to the lawyer she works for yesterday and she said that we could go ahead and turn it in with no SSN and with his parents' address, and that way the paperwork would go to them! I think I might call him today or tomorrow and let him know that's exactly what I plan on doing. Let him explain himself. I shouldn't have to do it. As for my parents, I hate asking them to watch him during the week because they have to get up early just like we all do to work, and I always feel like it's a huge pain in the ass. Like last night, I had just gotten home from the gym and baby had woken up about five minutes before I walked in the door (he usually doesn't do that) and I felt SO BAD. I just don't want to take the chance of him waking up and then my mom having to get up herself to tend to him.
from soverycherry :
Damnit, your comments didn't take my comment again! Anyway - I don't think it's a bad idea at all for Angie to watch Griffin. At least you know she won't try to cross any lines, and you totally trust her, right? Hopefully it will all work out. Man, my parents would have been PISSED if I came in at 1:30 on a weeknight. You're so lucky. I'm dreading asking them if they'll watch P next Thursday night from 9 to 12:30 so I can go see Sam's band. Ugh.
from cosmopolitn :
I just looked up Jack Vettriano online and I didn't know that he painted Dance me to the End of Love... I saw it a Target and I loved it! I thought it would be so perfect for our first home! I also love Back Where You Belong, and of course the one on your template (what is that one called?) Ryan and I are planning on moving to his hometown (I really just can't imagine staying in mine~it is just too much of the same thing, same people etc...I love to visit it, but I don't want to live there ya know?) Ryan's hometown is about 3 hours north of mine (but still in IL) All of his family lives there and it is a very small town right by a big city...I think I will enjoy it very much bc I grew up in a small town, but it was never by a big city, so it will be the best of both worlds! Also, my sis and her hubby are only 1 1/2 hours away, and downtown Chicago is only 2, so I think I will love it ( I miss being around my sister too)...I hope you have a great day at work! :)
from juli-anne :
Here are some tips you requested: Seriously check out the South Beach diet, it's SO much better than Atkins. There are the 3 Phases, and I lose so much weight in Phase 1, a few pounds in Phase 2, and stabalize in Phase 3. Since Nov 30th I have been between Phases 1 and 2. If I mess up, I just start over. What can I eat? Lean meat like chicken, fish, any lowfat beef, salads, lowfat cheeses (all of them!), veggies, fruits (except a couple specifed ones), eggs, nuts, whole wheat products, and to soothe my sweet tooth--dark chocolate is recommended along with no sugar added popsicles or sugar free puddings or jellos (which you can't even taste the difference). Not only is this diet effective in losing weight, it's a great tool for leveling out cholesterol and triglyceride levels. Anymore quesions just ask! :)
from cosmopolitn :
By the way...I LOVE your new template! Way to go Aida! You now have my favorite one...
from cosmopolitn :
I work at a center for the developmentally disabled. The center is supposed to help them with their vocational skills so that one day they may be integrated into the community and hold a job...They offer a number of jobs at the center and on the property (such as janitorial, housekeeping, trash pick up, car washing etc...that helps them get started before they actually get paid to do a job...We also help with behavior managemen bc many of them are not ready to enter the community due to the socially unacceptable behaviors that they exhibit...The clients live in homes throughout the communities called CILA homes and they are bussed in by the Center everyday to do job training and work... What I actually do, is give the clients tests, which determines what they have interests in (as far as working) and tests which show there communication skills, intrapersonal skills, grooming and hygiene and things like that...I rate these and write up reports about how the client is doing in the program... The point of the whole center is to get the clients as independent as possible... Hope that gives you a little better of an idea... As for Mike...I would feel the same way so don't ever feel bad about not wanting him in Griffin's life...He has no business trying to contact you after this long, thinking that he has any right to YOUR baby... Hang in there ok?
from kris-tee :
Omg, I know, I always think I am not as fat as I am. Pictures are the worst. I can always tell in pictures how fat I am. That's ok, I am so determind to be skinny by June, I KNOW I will. It's all I can think about.
from aidawrites :
Riding John! That was too funny! I had to laugh outloud, lol. I dont think you will look like an idiot by asking for an explanation. Its better than not knowing. For me not knowing is the worst. I used to be too proud to ever ask "what went wrong" but now i just dont care about what they think about me. I need to know what went wrong so i dont make the same mistake again. Most of the time they lie to you, but there is that small chance you will recognize honesty.
from lightupnight :
Thank you!
from momma-at-17 :
Thanx. School gets out the last week of May.
from saucy99 :
I must confess, when Griffin was first born I thought you were being just a bit unfair and harsh on Mike--only because he didn't find out until much later in the game than you. But now I see you were right and I was wrong as it is absolutly ridiculous and unacceptable that he's hasn't made any efforts in the past 9 months. If he really cared, he should have been WAY more involved since the time Griffin was born. Really since before he was born, but in my mind i attributed the pre-birth behaviour as a result of shock and being young and stupid. Seriously, I would be livid too. There's no such thing as a part-time parent, especially at griffins age. he can't just waltz in whenever he has free time and feels the need to hold a cute and cuddly baby and waltz out when it requires more of a commitment than that. Sorry you're going through this. get a lawyer if at all possible. i would recommend not accpeting any money from him if he offers because that would look favorable to him in a court if he tries to get custody. In fact, its probably a good thing that you haven't received any money from him, just makes him look like more of an asshole. good luck and i hope that everything works out in your favor.
from lauralgood :
Hugs, Allison. You know you made me remember why I love this site...there is always something to learn, isn't there. be sweet. Laural
from soverycherry :
So what if he is from a good home? He's an adult; he's made some pretty poor decisions as an adult that I am sure the court would take into consideration, you know? It's not like serial killers get off because they're from a good home. (Bad analogy, but... you know.) Anyway, maybe you should talk to your lawyer first, then? And as for your parents wanting to be fair? What's fair about him showing up NOW, SEVENTEEN MONTHS after you got pregnant? That's not FAIR. It's all fucked up. I hope he doesn't try to contact you again. Talk to your lawyer.
from aidawrites :
i sent you an email (actually 3) let me know if you get them or not. :)
from aidawrites :
look at it now, im not really sure what the code is for adding the names of your buddy list, im gonna try doing that next. let me know if you want another pic or add anything else. and dont feel obligated to use this, its fun for me regardless :)
from aidawrites :
hey dont worry, its friday and its dead here at work. im going to look up those you mentioned and see if i find a good piece. look at the colors i put on the template "ilovehtml", see if you like them.
from aidawrites :
yeah its a Vettriano, I love him too, I have a big one in my dining room of the one with the dancers. im going to play around with the design and let you know, let me know if there is another Vettriano piece you would prefer. oh and i love html its a lot of fun for me :)
from aidawrites :
hey, check out ilovehtml.diaryland.com and let me know if you like that design. i did it a while back out of boredom and i just changed the pic. i can alter it however though, so let me know.
from brooklyntcb :
It's okay. My therapist just let me know it was okay to want to know. I wasn't only in therapy for that it was also because of just my life in general growing up with an alcoholic parent. I suppose I have "father issues" still though. My bio father was responsive but he lives in alabama now and is married-no children. We talk on holidays and stuff and he sends cards now and everything. The thing is I think he is embarrassed of his life or something because he always makes excuses why I can't come down. He's been "fixing the house" for 5 years now...I don't ask to come anymore. I have a father even if he is really only half of one. I've just kinda excepted that this is the way things are. I have a mother who loves me 150% and that is good enough for me.
from momma-at-17 :
I actually got really tired of not being able to find a layout that I really liked, not to mention I change them so often, and my mom had a book on html laying around so I picked it up and taught myself.
from hunterpoo :
you may have to copy and paste the addies but here is a designer i admire. [raging pistachio] http://rpdesigns.sytes.org/ and if not then you might need to go through them but here a listing page http://big-list.diaryland.com/templates.html if not let me know if you need help with images. If you find a layout you like, but not the image.. it can be fixed yaknow! i'd gladly fix it for you. maybe you have your own picture you'd like in it. just let me know. hunter is gonna spend time with grama and i'm gonna get a nap, so let me know if ya need help.. i'll be around later. =)
from brooklyntcb :
My therapist didn't lead me there. I WANTED to find him but I didn't want to hurt my moms feelings. He just helped give me courage to ask. In the end she kinda knew what I wanted to do and was okay with it. She didn't react at ALL like I thought she would. She was really okay with it. I got his mom's address from HER!-lol (i accidentally posted this on MY notes...im special)
from momma-at-17 :
I can make you one if you want hun. If there are any pictures or lyrics/quotes or anything that you want just email them to me along with colors you have in mind and I can have it done in just a few days. Just let me know ok?
from momma-at-17 :
I was thinking about making some like that. I've got a couple started right now. But I still need to find more pictures that would go along with that theme ya know? But I am working on it. As soon as I get my website up and running fully I will let you know, I would love to see what you think about it.
from brooklyntcb :
It's not too personal. It used to be-but not anymore. I was never "officially" adopted because of alot of other things that were going on at the time in my parents marriage-then I guess it didn't seem necessary anymore. But unofficially I am was. I used my mothers married name all through school even though legally my last name was different. I use my legal name now. When I was younger it did bother me a bit that I knew I wasn't really "Murphy" but now I could care less. My father (my mothers husband) considers me his daughter. He has six children. There is no question. We were raised as one family that is it-there are no steps or halfs of any of that nonsense. We are all brothers and sisters and there is nothing more to say. My mother had me at 18 and my Bio father didn't want to get married (which she did)-so she left him. He was really immature and never followed up. My moms stance was he could see me if he went through the court system-he never did. Now that I'm been talking to him (I haven't seen him he lives in Alabama and I haven't visited because-it's a long story) I see WHY he never followed up-he's one of those men that needs a women to take care of him. He can't do stuff on his own. My father was an okay guy-he's an alcoholic and my parents are getting divorced as you may know from my entries. I never really felt like I wanted my bio father to be INVOLVED because I had a dad and grandparents and all that I just wondered if he thought of me and what he looked like and stuff like that. Normal stuff I guess. After going into therapy was when I was ready to look for him. I don't fault my mother for what she did. She did what she felt was the best for all of us. I really like that she never bad talked him. She let me come to my own conclusions. That is what I've appreciated most. Another interesting fact in my story is that my mom is black and my dad is white. My bio father is black. So my sisters and brother have much lighter skin then I do-none of this matters to me but others sometimes give funny looks when we say we are sisters or whatever. When we were younger the occasional rude kid would be like to you have the same parents-but we would just say yes. Actually my sisters didn't know until we all got a little older and my mom explained everything to them. Another funny thing is that all my immediate aunts and uncles on both sides are married to or have children with someone black/white-so all my immediate cousins are bi-racial-lol SOooo...that's my story and I'm stickin to it.
from aidawrites :
Your template should go with your personality and lifestyle. Personally, I dont like a babies theme template, but thats just me. I like mature type templates. I see you with something colorful and fabulous. Maybe there is an artpiece you really like, or a book or a movie. Maybe you like tropical themes, the ocean, an island. Maybe you like old fashioned vintage letters, maybe you like the 30s flappers decade, maybe you like purses and shoes, ok, I'm going to stop myself because im probably way off! I dunno, I guess you just have to brainstorm and look around, let me know if i can help in any way!
from soverycherry :
The OC wasn't on last night, so no worries. I hope you have a fabulous time in Chattanooga and that your parents give you some spending $$!
from quinngirl33 :
i don't think the OC was on last night. it was the premiere for TrueCalling. k
from hunterpoo :
In response to your comment, thank you! And I usually take black and white pics on regular film. The old digital I used had the option for B&W, but my new one doesn't. =( I love the details brought out in B&W, so i use photoshop. If you have it, you open the picture in PS and select "Image" - then "Mode" - then "Greyscale". Thas it, just save the pic. and BTW, you have beautiful pictures of Griffin!
from tearfulme :
I'm definitely praying he goes away. Nothing annoys me more than deadbeat fathers who think they have just as much right as a mother who is actually there for her child. He'll get his just desserts. Karma's never very far away! Hope you get your diary situated!
from kris-tee :
Ali, You did SUCH a good job on my diary! I love it, I even showed it to Brad, He thought it was adorable also! Thanks SO much, it is so much nicer now! I LOVE IT! It was great talking to you, I wish we lived near eachother, we would be inseperable, I just know it! I can so see us arguing about dumb stuff and agreeing and hating the same people and thinking the same guys were attrative! I hope we always stay friends, if you ever, ever need me I am here! We can be like the girls on "beaches"! Love ya!Kristy
from kris-tee :
Ali,
from princesstosh :
Uh, talk about technical difficulties! I guess something got mixed up when you were doing Kristy's diary- that sucks. If you need help fixing it let me know. I dont know how much help I'll be but I guess some help is better than no help at all.
from stillsingle :
Thought I'd put this in your notes - username is stillsingle; password is sunshine. :)
from soverycherry :
Callie moved back like, yesterday! She ended up coming back a month earlier because her lease expired at the end of March, not April like she had initially thought. We still need to get together, though! Perferably after my baby sleeps through the night, and I can leave him with somebody all night long. I know it's far off, but I plan on going all out for my 25th in August!
from soverycherry :
When is she getting married again? Are they having it in DC or in TN? If they're having it in DC (where is her fiancť from?) then you should totally stop by the 'Noke on the way!
from soverycherry :
I swear I cut Parker's nails EVERY SINGLE DAY yet I go pick him up at daycare and he inevitably has a new scratch somewhere, ugh. I am glad you realize that even if Brandon isn't the right one for you, someone out there is! Way to be positive about the situation. I can't believe that Griffin is almost nine months old! Parker is five months on Sunday, wow. Time really flies, huh?
from classygirl83 :
I''m really glad that you know that I care. I do care about you and Griffin. No problem aobut the mention. I hope that you have a great weekend!
from heylee :
Hi, I just left you a comment, 2 actually. I accidently pushed the back button after the first one, and I thought it erased it. Feel free to delete one! hehe. It's been one of those mornings and it's only 7.30 here!
from kris-tee :
O-M-G, I can't beleive he emailed you. What this fuck is wrong with him? AN EMAIL? FOR GODS SAKES, HE HAS A CHILD AND HE SENDS THE MOTHER, AN EMAIL??? If he REALLY cared he should have CALLED um, like EIGHT MONTHS AGO. I would be so mad. It's not even me and I am so mad for you. I can't beleive him. Why the sudden interest now? Ew, I am so sorry Ali. That REALLY sucks. I mean, it would be one thing if he fought for Griffin in the begining, but he just let it all go. He barely tried at all to be there. He offered no money or anything. I'm sorry about your week! Here are big hugs for Griffin and you! I'll pray for you both! XOXOXO
from yellowrosetx :
hey girlie. long time no read! Sorry I've been absent so long. Trying to make sense of life, but you know how that is! I guess you've changed your password/username. Can I be a reader again? If so, send me the key! Have a great one honey and hugs to sweet little Griffin!
from nicolerenee :
no, you don't have to stop reading. and ps i'll be praying for you for this crappy situation you are in. that's all i will say, otherwise i might give out fuel to fire back at me.
from quinngirl33 :
oh honey, i am so so sorry about whats going on in your life right now. all i can say is stick to your guns and do what you think is right for you and your son. it is up to you to protect him right now and he will realize in the end that you did what you needed to do. i am praying for your happiness for the sake of you and your beautiful son. you seem like such a great person and i believe you deserve better and so does griffin. men can really suck sometimes. and don't think that just because someone is married that all is fine and dandy there. believe me it's not always roses on the other side.
from quinngirl33 :
it wasn't locking earlier but it is now. YAY. i am going to email you the password right now k! sorry to have gotten you mixed up with nicole and i. i don't know why she is so pissy. i only told you the truth. it's not like i tried to make you hate her or something. geez
from quinngirl33 :
woops, i just sent your note to my notes page. hey was my diary locked when you tried to read it?
from mathero :
No problem at all, my dear! =)
from mathero :
The last time I saw my father was I think sometime around Christmas. Christmas and My birthday is usually the only time he comes around. I don't see him that often and I could really care less. And yup, you are correct! There are 5 of us in this family.
from mathero :
I'm technically the oldest of 7. Basically, my mother has 4 children and my biological father has 2. So they're all half siblings since my parents never married and didn't have anymore children besides me. But anyways, In this household there are 3 boys and a girl, well 2 girls including me. It's a busy household!
from aidawrites :
Honestly I think Mike has lost his mind. He thinks that the last 8 months didn't happen. What a nutjob. Anyway, I don't think you should give up on Brandon just yet. Just give him some time, like you said he is a wonderful guy and I don't think he is just going to disappear from your life. Josh doesn't call me every day either. In fact on Monday he called me and said something to me like, I'm going to be going to bed early the next couple of days, so I'll call you later on this week. What the hell was that supposed to mean? An excuse not to call me for a while? To tell me not to bother him? I was insanely mad and so fucking over him at that point. But at the same time, its still not over, I know we'll date some more. Whether that's a good thing or not, im not sure.
from soverycherry :
I haven't signed up for WIC - did you ever do that? I should. I only went for Jeremy - I figured I should do him first considering he lives here, and Louis is in NC, I guess. I have no idea what happens now. I am just fed up with the situation. As far as childcare is concerned, my mom's job ends in May (she's temping right now) so I don't know if she'll take the baby for a few days or week or what. That would be ideal. Katrina wants to take him on Fridays during the summer, so I guess that would at least decrease my weekly daycare bill $20, I think. I am just so sick of never having any money. This is why I am so desperate to lose weight, too. If I don't, then I won't have any clothes this year. I have to lose weight to fit into the things I wore during the summer of '03! It sucks.
from mathero :
No, I'm not worried. I'd actually like her to get it now and get it over with. She has some red bumps in her groin area but I think it may just be a rash she got from drinking Orange Juice. It hasn't spread so I don't think it's chickenpox. My sister is absolutely covered in them and this is her 3rd time. You usually only get them once but my family is odd I guess. I've had them twice as a child. I think all my siblings have. We're a sickly bunch!
from brooklyntcb :
That is what I plan on doing with Jason...the beauty of life is that everyone gets to live their own : ))
from soverycherry :
Ugh! That's like child endangerment, right? Has she said anything else about her paid vacation or whatever? She's delusional. And as for the paperwork, I just finished it and sent it in. I have no idea what happens next. And yeah dude, he knows that you don't think he's a bad guy? Right. Because every guy that I ever just hooked up with I thought was a genuinely good human being! I don't think so. I mean, I actually did think that Jeremy was a decent individual... until I got pregnant! So what does that have to do with anything? What a jackass. Hopefully that was just a temporary thing and he'll fall off the face of the earth and join Jeremy and Louis wherever they are!
from mathero :
I'm sorry Griffin's father contacted you. It always pissed me off when James would contact me out of the blue. But that was always very rare and I knew it wouldn't last. He doesn't care that much about her. I was reading your diary this morning and Mia saw a picture of Griffin and loved it. She kept saying "Momma, look at the baby! Awwwwww." It was cute and she thought he was cute. I feel better about having a second child. It's just a little overwhelming and scary sometimes. I'll get through it though!
from soverycherry :
Your comments hate me! That's the third time I've tried to leave one to no avail! Anyway, what I said was: Maybe he'll be like Jeremy and say all that shit once and you'll never hear from him ever again? I think you should talk to your lawyer as well - for peace of mind, anyway. What a jackass.
from quinngirl33 :
that's ok that you don't like tea. i am so upset at how things are going with brandon. i thought it was going to work out for you. the right man will come along when you least expect it. it always happens that way! when you are at the grocery store in your sweats the man of your dreams will walk by and compliment you! atleast that's what i will pray for, k? don't even worry about me and nicole, i am so far past that it's ridiculous. why she hasn't moved on is her own issue. the only peole i try to please right now are my husband and my son and this little one inside me. i live my life the way i want and some people just can't deal with it. that's fine, but i don't want to hear about it. when their opinion is asked is when i will listen. honestly i am glad she has another diary. i couldn't help myself, i had to read her diary. it was too tempting. but now i can finally be rid of her and her judgemental way of life. good riddens. sorry if i used you to vent. it felt lovely!
from somuchsugar :
hi aliboomboom: thanks for the note! i have been reading through & enjoying your diary. (I see why you would have much in common with our shared-favorite, soverycherry!) your baby AND you are BEAUTIFUL!! just beautiful.
from heylee :
They think someone may break into the house while they're gone, so I'm supposed to scare away burglers or something. Growing up, my sister and I were constantly fighting. There was never a day that we got along for more than 5 minutes. Now, we get along and love hanging out with eachother, but we still have our bitch sessions. My brothers on the other hand, are not very friendly, but that is a whole 'nother story.
from heylee :
Actually my little brother is going to go with them, so at least I won't be stuck babysitting...just housesitting. And their house is not on a well-lit street and the neighbors are kind of far and blah blah blah...I'm just a chicken. LOL! Four kids was great, I just wish they would have had my little brother earlier. There's a 10 year gap between us, and my sister is 15 years older than him. I'm kind of glad there were two boys in the house, becauce my sister and I fought like crazy! Too much estrogen going on!
from heylee :
Oh, forgot to say I have an older sister(and brother in law), an older brother, and a younger brother.
from heylee :
I've been debating the last few days about trying out gold membership...I really want to because I love photo diaries, but we'll see. The book looks like a great investment. It has a workout program for a long engagement up to about 6 weeks, so I should be good. I have to buy one of those exercise balls for some of the workouts, haha. As for you and Brandon, I was really hoping things would work out for you two, but if it's meant to be, it will be. Either way, you still have one man in your life, your cutiepie Griffin. hehe.
from theshakedown :
i tried to leave a comment and i don't think it stuck! anyway, can you elaborate on the brandon situation? i understand if you don't want to talk about it. but i'm lost here, yo!
from soverycherry :
I totally left you a comment yesterday and it didn't take! What's up with that? Anyway, I want to see your favorite pair of shoes, the one makeup item you cannot live without, and... now I can't remember what I asked for yesterday! Damn. Well, how about... Your favorite t-shirt to lounge around in?
from aidawrites :
I can relate to how you feel, kinda like everything is happening all at once and feeling like your world is shrinking. There's so much fucking pressure from every direction and sometimes you just want to stay in bed and cry, and although that helps, you cant break down because so many things depend on you to be jovial and optimistic. The thing is It's okay to have down days, they great thing is that tomorrow or the next day you will feel better and hopeful about your future. I'm not a depressive person, but I allow myself to be depressed from time to time because it's a healthy balance to the good days. You cant enjoy the sweet unless you taste the sour right? I ALWAYS worry about weddings and having a date or being the only one without someone. I skipped out of 2 weddings because I didnt have a boyfriend and I didnt want to take just anyone. It's a lot of fucking pressure. You feel like people are judging you because you dont have someone there by your side. Its all so stupid I think. I actually enjoy being single, because I know when we are all married we are going to look back on our single days and smile, although it doesnt seem like that now because we hate being single. I think in the future we are going to regret being depressed about being single. Sounds like you and Brandon had a serious talk from what you've touched on, I always hesitate about being too honest because it scares guys off, but damn, i thought you guys were on the same page! Bottom line is that men are another kind of animal all together and their chemicals dont match ours whatsoever, so he just needs to figure it out and you need to stop worrying about it. You have your own life and you def. dont need him. I think Griffin will be just fine without a dad for now, he's got a great family and you as his mom, he doesnt lack any kind of love, and thats all babies need is care and love.
from classygirl83 :
Ali~ You're really pretty, and I hope that you don't ever forget how pretty you are. Sure Jolene is getting married now, early. Well, it's not early, but you know. I'm sure that you will find a man that will be hotter and more georguous then Brandon and Ian put together. It's weird how Brandon changed sooo much. I don''t know what is up with him. It seems to be messed up, cause you're beautiful, and strong and smart. I don't know. It's insanely hard to date someone after haveing an online relationship is what I think, it's like the dynamics change for whatever reason after you meet them in real life. That's not to say that Brandon is stupid though for throwing away a great girl like yourself. Don't be envious of Joelene, sure she has stuff, but you have alot going for you as well. I'm sorry that you're going through all of this though. I hope taht you cheer up! A great guy is just lurking around the corner waiting to marry you!!
from quinngirl33 :
your so funny. honestly with friends like that who the hell needs enemies(!) i think we are both better off. but that is odd that she is pregnant at the same time i am. i am the same amount of weeks and i had a miscarriage when she found out she was pregnant. how does that work(?) hmmm?
from kris-tee :
OMG, that picture of Griffin in the bath is ADORABLE! I love it! I have got to figure out how to get pictures on the internet.... I had some pictures done at Sears on Saturday... I think people can view them, I will have to figure it out. Brandon and you look cute together, but him not calling and stuff is getting old. That sucks. I am going to have alot more time on the computer now because things are c-h-a-n-g-i-n-g in my household, I'm putting my food d-o-w-n. I'm getting ready to write in my diary. Luv ya!
from heylee :
Man, that sucks about Brandon! Men can be so oblivious sometimes! Maybe the communication thing is still on his mind or something I don't know...I hope he figures it out and realizes how special you are soon!
from aidawrites :
I think I know you are right about Clay. I'm just so damn proud, I know I could never get over the fact that he hit on one of my best friends. There are very few things that can make me loose my temper, and thats def. one of them. I think what I will do is give it a few days and see how i feel about it then. So whats going on with you and Brandon....sounds like something is up.
from aidawrites :
I guess right now Im just playing with the idea of confronting Clay about it or not. In a way I do want to cuss him out for hitting on Megan, but in a way I do understand why he did that. Although it really just disgusts me. Do you think I should just forget about the whole thing, or do you think I should try to mend things with Clay or do you think I should confront him about hitting on Megan? Oh and by way way, I love the pics you posted, Brandon looks like such a sincere and happy guy from that picture.
from mathero :
No, not my mom. Matt's mom. She's the one who chose the name. She wanted the baby to have a M name because of some tradition. But I just don't feel like this is the name for my baby and I don't want to name her something I don't feel is right. Mia was suppose to be named Madison. But I knew 2 other women who were pregnant when I was and had 2 girls and named them both Madison. So I quickly changed my mind. I hate "trendy" names. I've looked through a ton of baby books and nothing has really stuck out as of yet. Mia was on my original lists of names and I crossed it off. But towards the end of my pregnancy that was the name that really fit. It means "Mine" in italian. Since I'm possessive, I felt this way the right name. haha. No not really. I just felt it was perfect for her and I didn't know ANY Mia's. And was certain there wouldn't be 4 Mia's in her class. I like Kendall but Matt doesn't. Matt likes Grace but I already know a bunch of little girls named Grace. Macy is my sister's nickname for Mackensey. Isabella was suppose to be the baby's middle name named after Matt's great grandmother. I'm not sure if we'll keep that as the middle name. It's just a matter of Matt and I agreeing on something. I read things are better with Brandon which is great. It seems like it was all just a big misunderstanding and everything should return to normal soon! Have fun on your trip. I'm sure it will be nice to get away for a little bit.
from momma-at-17 :
Yeah but only my bangs. I've done it for years and everytime I cut them I regret it afterwards. Lol. That's just me for ya though.
from heylee :
I would like to tell you that the worrying goes away, but I can't. There will always be that little piece of doubt in the back of your mind always questioning the "what if?" I just try not to dwell on it, ya know? People are in that kind of job because they love it and need it and are meant for it. It's a risky job, but I try to think of all the good that comes out of it. That way I stay sane. :D But gosh, that first year Brian worked, I was a nutcase when I would see the news and see a fire. In 2003, he was on a strike team for a month straight. No breaks. THAT was scary. Sorry, this note is not meant to freak you out!!! I just want to let you know from my end what it's like to have someone in that kind of job.
from eggsaucted :
Thanks! I hope I feel better soon too. I'm tired of being sick.
from heylee :
Brian and I are going to my mom's house this weekend and then his mom's house next weekend. It should be fun! About Brandon, just from my own experience, there were a lot of times where I didn't get phone calls when Brian was working, especially on strike teams. There were times when I waited for two days to hear from him, only to find out there was a huge fire and they were stuck on 24 hour duty or something like that. There is a lot of down time at a fire station, but when they get the call, it's full force until it's done. I hope you both get to meet up a lot more, now that he has more time since he's not working at the ski place.
from aidawrites :
Megan is cute but not beautiful. She's a great girl though, very funny and smart. Noah is like a dream boyfriend, he gets her flowers all the time, and writes her poems, its almost too corny you know? Last time we were drunk she told me she was going to marry him. I felt so empty inside when i heard that. I felt like I was never going to have what she has. Im so pathetic sometimes.
from aidawrites :
Oh God, Megan and Noah are so in love its ridiculous. I should post a pic of him so you can see how hot he is. They are talking about moving in together and he adores her, its kinda cute, but it makes me secretly mad. And about Josh, he is supposed to go to Gainesville this weekend for a golf tournament, he had invited me, but i told him no thanks. And i totally understand why Brandon was a tad upset, i quess he had a little bit of good reason ;)
from momma-at-17 :
Awwww, he is absolutely ADORABLE!!! Sorry but he really really is.
from starlight42 :
Ya, I never made it real clear where I lived, some stuff I wanted to keep kind of private. Or just not share with everyone, you know. As for Brandon, I would give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him for now. Unless things that seem untrue seem to keep popping up...Well, I think if you just tell him what you're thinking about, how you're confused and how you really did like him, I think it could clear stuff up. Otherwise, he's just odd. Why would he act great when you met and now act all crazy? I guess if he keeps it up, it's time to move on. But I think he's freaking or something.
from mathero :
Matt wanted Carson if we were having a boy. Bailey was one of the names Matt picked that he liked. I know a little girl with that name. I hate choosing names where I know other children with that name. I'm sure this name change is really going to piss his mother off.
from mathero :
Thats what I loved about naming Mia. I didn't have to consult with anyone. It just me. Her father found out the name when he came to the hospital. Having to agree on a name with someone is difficult. Also, trying to find the "perfect name" is hard. I just knew that Mia was right for her. After many trials and errors. But I still haven't found "the one" yet for this baby. I'm sure I will but I've been super impatient with this baby. I want it here already!!
from cosmopolitn :
By the way~ I can't update...Do you know why or how I can fix that? Thnx!
from cosmopolitn :
Okay...I am not saying that you chase him AT ALL, but I do think that you should call him so you two can talk about what is going on...Either way, you need to know what the deal is and you deserve to know...I don't think that if you call him that would be weak or desperate in any way, you just want to know what is up...You really like him and I am sure he likes you (that wouldn't stop just bc you were busy and couldn't go to the movie) Give him a call when you are ready (or hopefully he will be the one calling you!) Good luck :)
from mathero :
I don't know. Although it's very pretty, I just don't think it's my style. I feel as if I'll never choose a name for this baby. Nothing REALLY sticks out and feels like "the one". I really really really wanted Olivia. But Matt is totally against it. So I'm stuck trying to find names we both can agree on.
from mathero :
Matt is more for Lydia. I haven't even run Carmen by him yet. haha. I came across it today. He likes Lily but doesn't think it will be as cute when shes 10,16 or 20. He's very fussy over names. It's a difficult process.
from mathero :
So far we have Lily, Lydia and Carmen. I'm pushing for Carmen.
from mathero :
There is so much I want to say and DLand is irritating me! I'm in the process of changing the baby's name because the one we chose doesn't feel like "the one". Mia has been sick with the flu for 4 days and I found out yesterday she has a double ear infection. Yuck! How were you able to update?
from princesstosh :
Aww, Griffin! I just want to eat him up with a spoon. Are those bunnies real? That sounds so stupid to ask but they look really real. Anyway..I know you're sad about Brandon. I was trying to make light of it for you but I know it's got you totally down. I think that you thought after ski season and meeting things would just progress into something more and they havent. I really thought they would too. I dont know what he is thinking but I'll tell you this much---he's stupid. Stupid for not calling, stupid for not wanting to be around you every minute of everyday, stupid for not LISTENING when you tell him in every way possible that you want to hear from him. Dont chase after him, but dont give up on him just yet either, Ali. I have the same opinion as you...it feels like something special, meant to be as corny as it sounds. Just see what time has to offer.
from mathero :
cute easter picture! I hope you feel better about the whole Brandon situation. It'll all work out for the best whatever the outcome may be.I can't update and it's driving me insane!!
from quinngirl33 :
my sister in-law and brother in-law do home daycare and they take 2 weeks paid vaca too. it boggles my mind when i think about it. but they also get state insurance too. i guess if you take in children who are on the state than their family is eligible too. cracks me up bc they own their own home they just bought a brand new limited edition expedition and just put 80,000$ into their home. but yet i still have to pay 80$ a month for just my son and their whole families insurance is free!! what's wrong with that picture(?) but that lady is probably on the state bc she doesn't claim any of her income so all of her money is under the table. she should watch out bc if they find out they will make her pay all that money back just like the irs. it happened to one of my friends. but she's got some balls making you pay for her vaca if she's not even on the books. she's not afraid someone is going to try to rat on her(?) sorry about brandon. i was pulling for you! definitely don't chase hime though. i have 3 brothers and believe me it was sad when girls would do that. they ate it up! it made me sick to my stomach. men are bleh, no words!!
from vickithecute :
Okay, yeah, if she's not paying taxes and not operating her business AS A BUSINESS then she's way out of line. All I know is that all the in home sitters I've used take paid vacations. True, you won't have that from a daycare center, but I personally was dissatisfied with the care my children received from those centers. In home daycare offers a lot of benefits that centers don't have - having to pay for vacation and find a fill in sitter is one of the downsides, but worth it, IMO. As for Brandon....from everything you've said, it seems he really cares about you too. I certainly wouldn't say he doesn't give a fuck. Who knows what's going on with him? Maybe it will work, maybe not, but (and oh God, I KNOW this is a cliche, but in this case, I believe it) - but it's not you, it's him. Really. At any rate, I know it's sad, I know. (((Ali!!!)))
from starlight42 :
Here's what I'd do. Give him a call or email him and just reiterate that you had a great time when you two met and that you're really hurt and confused he's acting like this. Tell him that you hope it doesn't have anything to do with you not being able to come over and that you didn't punk out because you didn't like him or whatever. At that point, the ball is in his court. But at least you've told him that you did really like him and maybe if he was worried you didn't- he'd realize his mistake. You're such a great person, he might just be scared you don't like him as much as he likes you. I bet that's what it is...good luck!!
from classygirl83 :
What is Brandon thinking? Why is he acting like that. I mean there's seriously no reason to hurt your feelings, or to not like you. I mean you're wonderful. I just don't get it. Whatever, boys are just stupid. I think that's soo stupid taht your baby sitter is takeing 2 weeks PTO. What are you supposed to do with Griffin while she is gone? I mean seriously. I'm sorry that you're haveing a rough day/week.I'm not fighting with my roomie, I just don't know her or her family that well. I guess it doesn't matter though. It would be really rude if I just left. I hope that your week and day gets better.
from aidawrites :
OMG Ali, I have been trying to upload an entry since 7 am and nothing, the servers are fucking busy. im hating this site right now!
from soverycherry :
I tried to leave you a comment and it ate it! Anyway, what I said was that your sitter situation is rigoddamndiculous. Who does that? What do the other parents have to say about the situation? And as for Brandon, well... I'm at a loss. Maybe he liked you too much and it scared him, and that's why he's pulling away? It just makes no sense. Then again, I gave up understanding guys a long, long time ago.
from aidawrites :
Wow, I did not know Jeff was in rehab, craziness. Anyway, when things like this happen to me (when a guy I like stops calling me) I try to think he just wasnt good enough for me and wasnt smart enough to see that i'm a great person and if a guy cant see that then obviously he is a jerk and its better i find out now before i get too involved and even more hurt. Its soooo hard not to take these things personal because they do make you feel 3 feet tall, but obsessing over it and depressing over it isnt going to serve any purpose. The way i like to see it is, well now i can move on quicker. Im young, Im pretty, Im smart, and there are more fish in the sea! But I do understand how you feel. Right now i feel like maybe i did something wrong, or I pushed him too fast or not enough. But Honestly the fact that Josh hasnt called me in 4 days just goes to show me that he is immature and uncommitted and he isnt someone that i can build a future with. It also makes me loose genuine interest when a guy is that careless not to call for days at a time. If he calls this week im sure its going to be, "oh, i was soooo busy" and honestly i just dont want to hear it. When you like someone, you are NEVER busy enough that you cant call them to let them know you are thinking about them. It only takes 2 seconds. The road you should take right now is he is going to have to win you over again, because he has made you loose trust in him.
from hunterpoo :
oh yea, the darker skin comes in handy. hardly get sunburned. i'm not dark as some though. heh.
from hunterpoo :
true true. i always feel like you can't be truly happy unless you give yourself totally, which unfortunatly leaves you open to get hurt. but the love part (awesome), and broken heart part (sucks) is life. even in worst case scenario, you still have the cutest lil man by your side. hunt got me through my broken heart. =)
from quinngirl33 :
hey just so you know i am greeneyedgirl.....i don't think you know my email. :)
from quinngirl33 :
ok, what the hell is going on? i just wrote you a note and it went to my notes page. well it was pretty long so just go to my notes page and read it. k! :)
from aidawrites :
totally forgot about the whole Easter thing, im such a bad catholic. then again, im not really religious to begin with. Ive never had Good Friday off and I dont know anyone who has. I think my next holiday is Memorial Day, and thats a long way from now. Errr, i hate work.
from kris-tee :
Yaaaayyyy! I am so happy you guys finally met! That's awesome, I'm sure he thought you were beautiful! Im glad you had a good birthday and Ingrid and you made up.
from aidawrites :
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH DIARYLAND TODAY? errrr, my diary wont lock, so i cant update, i think its because im not a gold member or whatev. Anyway, are you really not jealous of his Judd connection? i would be a raving jealous freak. But hey, thats admirable that you are confident enough to not care about her. I cant wait to see pics of your b day! I wanna see your cute outfit and your cute firefighter!
from bethany9 :
i meant YOU should say you have Paul Walker on the other line. See how he likes it.
from quinngirl33 :
YAY for you. I'm glad you guys finally met and hit it off. Isn't that THE best feeling(!)
from mathero :
Sounds like you've got it all figured out. =)
from mathero :
I wouldn't want to know. It would make me feel super self concious. He doesn't need to be bringing that up!
from dana-elayne :
Even if you're a Vols fan *eep*, Gooooooooooooo Dawgs *woof woof woof* ;) I'd love to read your journal. May I have the password?
from mathero :
She probably just wanted to build herself up while knocking me down. She told me that she has a college scholarship for basketball. And was going somewhere in her life while I'm going no where. She told me that I was a bitch and a fuck up. I think she just wanted to rub something in my face. If it helps her sleep better at night then so be it. I just find it pretty pathetic that she has to stoop to that level. But you are so true. What goes around, comes around.
from mathero :
My family went through a big ordeal when they dated. She eventually tried to get my brother seriously hurt. She set him up to meet her somewhere and 3 or 4 of her guy friends jumped my brother with a lead pipe. He was in the hospital for awhile. I have no idea why shes so concerned with my life. I haven't spoken to her in 3 years. She told me she wanted to make sure I knew I was a fuck up. I don't really think she's right in the head. It just irritated me that people actually think that way about me. I knew a few other girls, mostly high school girls, who have said similiar things. It just seems so petty. I honestly don't know these people and they only know what they hear. I really thought I left that high school bullshit when I graduated. I don't understand why my life is so important to these people. It's aggravating.
from aidawrites :
thanks for the update. i wish i would have taped it. i was getting tired of the lesbian stuff, so im glad thats done with.
from mathero :
It was the same girl that was harassing me before. My brother's ex. Evidently, I'm a slut because I wasn't married when I had my first daughter and I'm no longer with the father. Its just irritating. Everyone makes mistakes. Why are mine so much worse?
from aidawrites :
I AM SO BORED. Do you ever click on diary banners only to find that they are really stupid and childish?I need a good diary to read! Im slowly dying of boredom. Anyway,anything good on the OC last night? I missed it.
from soverycherry :
Just try to relax. If you don't have any expectations of how things will go, then they will assuredly go well! That's how it always works. Also, drinking takes the egde off, ha!
from mathero :
Pier fries and pizza were oh so good! I really liked the movie. It was very sad. I thought for sure I'd cry but I didn't. I did well. Have lots of fun tonight!!
from janie12975 :
Some are mine and some are my husband's. But he has full custody of his 2, and his X only gets them 3 weeks in the summer, usually. And she lives half a country away from us. I'm really thankful I get to be a full time mom to all the kids. Makes being a blended family that much easier.
from momma-at-17 :
I'm trying to. And as the days wear on, and the more crap he trys to start it is only that much easier for me to do.
from momma-at-17 :
I know I know. He just gets under my skin so much I can't help it sometimes. I'm usually the mature one. But when it comes to him I usually act before I think.
from momma-at-17 :
Well he and I have a date tomorrow night and I think that she is going as well. He hasn't let anyone get to him yet.
from momma-at-17 :
Jeremy lives about within a 20 minute drive from my house. I'm the only girl that he is dating. Misty is on of his best friends (if that's where you are confused), she doesn't like the things of my past and it started quite the little argument between them because she was judging me based on just that not who I am today because she has yet to actually meet me. We don't see each other everyday because he's done with school and I'm not. So he's usually working while I'm at school. This week is my Spring Break so we have seen each other less than we normally do. When school is in we usually go out to breakfast or lunch or just hang out, because with school in I'm not worrying about keeping an eye on my sister. But yeah... I hope that helps.
from cosmopolitn :
Oh, and Billie and Bo found some hair sample that is Georgia's, so they still think she really is alive and Hope is jealous bc she thinks she will lose BO...
from cosmopolitn :
On Days..."Stan" is trying to get John to stay addicted to drugs by giving them to him...Maggie and Bonnie are still fighting over Mickey...There is a new "fake" Jennifer who is either going to kill Jack, or take him back to the DiMera castle (and Jack is back at their house but Jennifer doesn't know that although she keeps having "feelings" that he is in danger...Belle has decided that she can't see Shawn until Philip (who is being held hostage by insurgents in Iraq) returns safetly home because she thinks it would be unfatithful...As for psycho Jan, she is still trying to keep Shawn although he is slowly remembering how she trapped him in that cage, and she is also blackmailing Mimi into telling Belle to be faithful to Philip, or she will tell Rex that she had an abortion... I can't believe they are doing the whole Sami/Stan thing either~ how stupid...I also can't believe the fake Jennifer...They really need to get better storylines or they might actually lose me to All My Children forever (I have been watching that when I get a chance and it is so much better and much more realistic)...I always say that though, but I don't think it will ever happen!
from momma-at-17 :
Happy Birthday Ali. Hope that your day was Great!!! You deserve the BEST!
from lildebkitty :
was wondering if i could read you
from mathero :
He's such a little cutie!! Watch out when he gets older! =)
from mathero :
Oh! MY biological father. Sorry I read that wrong. Yes, I know my biological father. He lives like an hour or so away from me. We don't keep in much contact. I don't even think of him as my father. He didn't visit me very much growing up. Christmas and Birthdays, thats all.
from saucy99 :
Happy Birthday!
from classygirl83 :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this is the best one yet!!! I'm glad that you get to meet Brandon on Friday!! That sounds like sooo much fun!! Try not to be nervous. I know that you will be, but try not to be!! Have a wonderful day!!!
from mathero :
I know who her father is. I took him to court to get custody of her. We had to have a paternity test. Although I had no doubt who the father was. After the paternity test I could take him to court to get custody. I can count on my hand how many times he has seen her. He refuses to pay child support. It has been almost a year since the last time he saw her. I could probably take him to court for abadonment but I rather get this over with quickly. Jane just told me what she had to do in her state. Getting a lawyer, signing a petition and going to court.
from soverycherry :
Have you tried on the new Drew pants from The Limited? I'm wearing the black ones right now (also have khaki and dark pink) and they are FABULOUS. You can even get them in a Long! And they have pockets! I love them because I can wear them to work but they're totally cute enough to wear out, too. You should go check them out. I think they're still buy one get one half-price (they're $50 originally).
from mathero :
Jane left me some advice yesterday. After spending all morning searching for information, I think I may have found what I need to do. My mom did go through this with me and my father but that was years ago and I think some things have changed. But I'm going to contact a lawyer either today or tomorrow and hopefully get this ball rolling.
from lonelyintx :
WOOPS, I Hit enter. anyway people like that make me sick. but other than that she's COOL. p.s. remember when she stole that girls shirt?!
from mathero :
Yeah, it may be different for each state and also each situation. I really don't know much about all the legal crap. I just can't wait to get it all over with. I finally got ahold of someone and was told that I need to go to the courthouse and get the adoption paperwork. Once he signs that, it's pretty much taken care of. I'm hoping thats the case. As for Matt loving Mia more than Mattea. I have no doubt in my mind that there will not be favorites. That was one of my BIG concerns before we got married. I didn't want to have a child with him if Mia was going to be treated any different. His family loves her to death. They all treat her as if she were one of their own, especially his mom. I have faith that this baby will be treated just as Mia as been and there will be no comparison. But that was definately a big concern of mine before we got married.
from lonelyintx :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :) 2-morrow of course! by the way i hate veronica. only because she is so friggin HOT. she has beautiful skin too. UGH, P
from mathero :
As for haloscan, when you get to the code generator go to none of the above/manual. Copy and paste step 1 and step 2 into your diary and that should be it.
from mathero :
Mia's father was never put on her birth certificate either but he has parental rights regardless because he is the biological father. Do you already have custody of Griffin? If you don't, I would get that started. I took Mia's father to court to get custody of her. We got joint custody but I basically had more power than him. And he only had visitation. He still has parental rights and is willing to sign those over to Matt. So thats where I am right now. Trying to get that taken care of so Matt can adopt her.
from aidawrites :
Im soooo happy you are finally meeting him. Its almost too good to be true! you better not back out this time missy! Such an exciting week for you it must be. Meeting Brandon, your birthday, and lets not forget St.Paddy's day! One question about the Inferno, why the hell is Julie in the good guys team? she's a rotten bitch!
from mathero :
I think I did it correctly. Thanks so much!
from elliemay23 :
Wow...one kid for every year of age of your child. Ninny had 30 kids at her first birthday plus all of their parents. There was about 95 people combined there. Her's is in August...it's almost time for me to start planning too. I like to get it done as soon as I can. I guess I should have this baby before I do any planning like that though. Ellie
from mathero :
I am such a hypochrondriac! How do you get that comment page on your diary? I want to copy you. I want to be just like you! haha, I'm kidding. But how do you do it?
from momma-at-17 :
He does. A few nights ago he was telling me how even though the baby isn't his, he wished it was, and he wanted to be a father to him. That he never wanted to leave the baby and myself. PROM is next month, yeah I will be showing quite a bit but it means a lot to me. Two of my best friends apparently found a dress for me that would be perfect. I try not to think of what the people at school will say because the way that I see it right now, I have dealt with everyone saying really nasty things to me since I got pregnant and I don't think that what they say can get anyworse, so I just want to get out and have a night of fun.
from momma-at-17 :
I will. He's just so great to me and I can't believe that I didn't see it over all these years that he and I have between us.
from mathero :
I have no idea why I woke up with a mouthful of blood. It was all dry and yucky. I washed my mouth out and thought I had it all cleaned up. But when I went to sit down and check something on the computer it started filling back up again. I'm probably dying, who knows!
from hunterpoo :
well dang, i guess i read it in your profile and figured you'd be 26. ha! so now you got me all worried bout 26. i mean came you imagine, how fast is that 10 year high school reunion coming? i mean the best thing in my life yells, drools, and is all about pee and poop. (i guess it'd be the same if i had a man!)
from janie12975 :
I freaked out when I turned 26. I was on the other side of 25, way too close to 30. Now I am less than a year away, and honestly, I feel the best I ever have. But we'll see how I feel come December.
from momma-at-17 :
Yeah he has a two year degree. Right now he isn't sure if he will go on to a four year college or pursue his career.
from hunterpoo :
thank you! i'm honored to have the chance to check your thoughts and life out. we do have a lot in common, and i will definatley check back to see how your cutie boy is doing, cause mine will be there next month! =) good luck on 26! let me know if there's any major changes from 25.
from manda-d :
My step children are on Spring Break this week. My kids go to school in a different county and their spring break is in April. Kaylee is just a night owl. Always has been. Jason got new shoes about 3 weeks ago? It hasn't been long. Oh, and thank you for your sweet comments :-) You're the best!
from momma-at-17 :
He went to a community college and graduated early because the high school classes were too easy for him. So now his graduation is in a couple months.
from momma-at-17 :
He is a great guy. I think that I am really falling for him. I really do. He is 17 just like me. We don't go to school together he actually just graduated college. We met through our bowling league. If you'd like to find out more about him his diary is on here as well. It is bowler296. He's just so great to me.
from mathero :
Read my update! It helped. =)
from quinngirl33 :
i think so....pray for me. or wish me good luck. whichever you choose. welp, off to the airport to drop off a friend. probably going to be a miserable entry later.
from momma-at-17 :
No he's not the same guy from last week. His name is Jeremy. The guy from last week is the baby's father (CJ). I have known Jeremy for 3 years but I was always too afraid to date him, for fear of getting hurt. But after I got pregnant he showed that he refused to give up despite this child not being his but being CJ's so I finally gave in and gave him a chance and now here I am.
from prgat14query :
Hello, thank you for the note you left me, and for adding me, and for what you said about my diary :) I think about God quite a bit, especially when I think about Winter. And I can feel that I am starting to believe, I think. But I know it can't be rushed, it could take years! If I were to believe in God to know that I would be a mother to Winter, then it would be forced and fake. So surley God would know as he is all knowing, so I wouldn't see Winter. I just need time and I know I'll get there. Have you always believed in God or is it something that sort of happened?
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you so much Ali. I appreciate it more than you know. Oh and I will email you back I just have got to find time to actually sit down and write back. Lol. Sorry for the delay.
from classygirl83 :
I think that I frusterate everyone.
from mathero :
Thanks so much. I'm addicted. It's sad. It's crazy how these new maternity clothes actually hide a lot! I don't feel so large, just wide. =) Mia is quite the character. Beautiful but awfully stubborn!
from cosmopolitn :
Okay~ Marissa is deciding against the whole lesbian thing (she didn't sleep at her house that night), Seth and Summer are still back together and it seems as though Marissa and Ryan might get back together as well..They all got trapped in the mall together and this is where Marissa and Ryan sort of got closer (not like that though).. Julie has some sort of past making porn when she needed money, and the guy who gave her the tape is asking for 500,000 dollars to be quiet about it, so she is freaking out...As for Kirsten and her hubby, they are back on track now...She had pretended to lose her wedding rings for the whole episode, but at the end she put them back on so I'm guessing things are ok again... As for MY Ryan, I just found out he gets to come home May 15th! I am so excited, bc I can handle 2 more months! As far as him coming home for good, in the Army that is always up in the air, so I try to not think about it, although I am expecting November/December... Have a great day/weekend!
from classygirl83 :
Why are you rude to me?
from singlegirl :
I am absolutely not mad at you. Like you, I was just voicing my opinion. I actually wrote a long note to you about this, but I deleted it and thought I would just make it an actual diary entry. Have a good day.
from sweet-cynic :
re: your note, what would i do without you? i think that's the second time yo've corrected a goofup on my journal haha. and re: your current entry. i agree wholeheartedly with what you had to say about physical looks and relationships. back before i kind of morphed into a hater, i used to LOVE seeing mismatched people (i.e. heidi and seal, ugly girl and cute guy, hot girl with ehhh boy) because it gave me comfort to see that there are people who look past conventional beauty. now im all cynical about it and assume one person is settling, or she's only with him because of his money, etc etc. thanks for sharing a lovely entry.
from singlegirl :
Fat people can do something about being fat, but alcoholics COULD do something about being a drunk, and ugly people COULD have plastic surgery. Do you know how many times I think, "Ew, she should totally get a nose job?" I don't say it outloud, because that would be *so* rude. But, for some reason, people feel like they can make comments about fat people. I just think that everyone should just mind their own business and concentrate on what they could do to improve themselves. It seems that most people who voice their judgements on others, are those who need the most work.
from heylee :
Everytime I go to Target, I always look at their bathing suits, but am afraid to get one because I don't know how they would fit. Every year, I go through a bathing suit search(Brian dreads it) and always end up finding way too many and buying way too many. I just bought one 4-5 months ago and have worn it maybe 3 times because it was after summer. I am on this whole polka-dot thing and there seems to be a lot out there this season. I should check out old navy like you did... I too, would feel weird meeting Brandon with a whole bunch of friends around. It would probably be awkward for both of you. I hope you get to meet him soon...:/
from heylee :
Brian wants to be a paramedic/firefighter ultimately. He's already been an EMT/firefighter, but with the paramedic part, more doors will be opened in terms of where he wants to work, etc. He used to be a firefighter for the state of CA, and those departments worked differently than city departments. With the paramedic cert, he can chose where he wants to work, because they basically scout medics from the schools. Everything in the fire service is very competitive, so the more education you have(in terms of medical experience), the easier it is.
from elliemay23 :
I don't think that second showers are all that common, but my shower with Ninny was 2 months after she was born and 5 days before she became deathly ill and had to change hospitals. I don't really remember any of that shower except for the fact that it was Very nice and we got a lot of nice things. There were no fun "guess how much toilet paper will fit around the mom" games or anything like that though. 3 of my friends are giving it. Lanne, Marie and Elm. (they are all in my cast) They thought it would be nice if I got to experience ALL that pregnancy has to offer...dumb shower games included.
from mathero :
I truly appreciated your note. I'm a size 10 but I'm also 5'3", which makes it a little worse. I don't have that height. I lost 45lbs from my anti-depressant medication actually. They give it to overweight individuals to help them lose weight and also give it to smokers to help them quit. I had it for the baby blues and it helped with my weight loss tremendously. I saw all your pictures and read your stories and thought "Wow, that girl is beautiful. Why can't I look like that?" You have so much confidence and so much self esteem. I only wish I could feel that way about myself. I'm only rambling on now. I just wanted to say thank you for the note. It's nice to know that somebody cares. =)
from aidawrites :
To tell you the truth, just thinking about being pregnant scares me, and not because of the pain of childbirth or whatnot but because i know i will gain a lot of weight. So i give you mad kudos for dealing with that. I'm no longer "sick" I think mentally i've gotten ahold of myself and realized that i need to take it day by day. (i guess i should mention that this was when matt cheated on me) I used to count every single calorie and never eat over 1000 a day, but now i can go out and not even think about it, so thats good. I wonder what Petra is going to do now that she isnt modeling. I wonder if she gained weight or lost weight, hard to say i guess. she still looked amazing last night, even though she could hardly walk. I bet she will start doing speeches about survival and stuff, thats what i would do.
from aidawrites :
well thats awesome that you can be optimistic about how you look. i guess deep down i will always have body issues. ( i was diagnosed as having an eating disorder a while back, something i dont really talk about) but anyway, i guess we just see ourselves worse than we really are. no one's perfect right? anyway, the special was amazing, i went to sleep crying. they were soooo in love, and the trip had been her idea, so she's filled with guilt. she broke like 14 bones and held on to life for hours while being burned by the sun and watching screaming children drown. just horrible. so yeah, they just found his body, but she has this weird sense that he is still with her and she has conversations with him like if he were still alive, kinda strange i think. she's beautiful, so im sure she will find love again, but wow, her boyfriend was very good looking.
from pinklady877 :
Heya. Username: pink Password: corset I'd love yours as well. :D
from heylee :
His b-day is the 24th, when he turned 21 he joked with his mom about how mean she was for not having him 7 days earlier. He's going to be 23 and I have no idea where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday we were 19 and first dating...Sorry, reminiscing a little:/. St.Patrick's Day to Brian is like the mother of all holidays. haha. I'm sure we're going to celebrate it like crazy! happy early birthday to you! :D
from vegasmommy :
Thanks for the note about my situation with Nicole. I will ignore her. I have to. At least the friends we had mutually are now my friends after they saw the person she was. That sounds snotty of me, but I'm glad they're angry at her. They were hurt by her too.
from mathero :
awww. you're too kind!
from mathero :
Thank you so much for the note you left me. I can definately relate to the situation that you're in. I'm glad you can relate to mine. I wish you the best of luck for yourself and your son and I will definately be reading more! also, I saw you added me in your profile. I just wanted to mention that my second daughter will be named Mattea, not Mateo. hehe.
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you. It did help. I did email you. Thank you very much. You are such a wonderful person. I hold very dear that you care about me without knowing who I am.
from makinganewme :
Thanks so much for your note. Just knowing you were trying to sum up words means more than you'll ever know.
from cosmopolitn :
Ali... You are right..It was sad, but also comforting being at Ryan's and being around his family, people who love and care about him and I... I hope you have a great time on your date! Ladder 49 is a good movie too!
from quinngirl33 :
yes we were. we just passed the 8 year mark on v-day. geez, it's been a long time. started dating on v-day in 97. weird day for a 1st date huh? it's my birthday too!!! i can't imagine being with anyone else. i just knew i guess. isn't that funny?
from heylee :
For me, the hardest part of a relationship is the "getting to know" stage. Since you and Brandon have been talking on the phone and online for a while now, you guys are well into some form of a relationship. How can he not like you after all of the conversations you two have had? Just from the pics I have seen of both of you, you are both beautiful people so why not meet up? Don't get me wrong, I would be worried about losing the already established relationship if for some reason you were to meet up and not be attracted to eachother, but you won't know until you try...If that makes absolutely no sense, just disregard it! LOL! :D Either way, you will have another friend...a new hot friend and you can't have too many of those! hehe.
from nicolerenee :
Thanks for the note, and PS, your son is gonna be a heartbreaker! XOXO
from elliemay23 :
They haven't predicted how much the baby will weigh. I'll probably talk that over with my Dr on Monday when I go in. As for the nursery we are doing classic pooh because we don't know the sex. I'm not a huge fan of regular pooh, but I love the classic pooh stuff. The bedding doesn't have any of the characters on it except for little embossed poohs on the bumper, but you can't really tell unless you are looking close. The bedding is done like a patchwork quilt and is creams, maroons and greens. It's very pretty.
from elliemay23 :
I won't be able to make the decision about drugs until I'm actually there, laying on the table screaming at my husband...or mom...or whoever is in the room. I'm about 35 1/2 weeks so I don't have much longer to go at all. We don't know what we are having. We decided that since Ninny was such a not so great surprise with being born at 25 weeks that we'd like to have a good surprise this time. Besides, there are so few good surprises left in this life. We do have names picked out, but I'm not disclosing them on D*Land since I don't use real names in here. They're cute though...Trust Me!!!
from quinngirl33 :
his eyes are beautiful. he is beautiful. what a cutie pie.
from aidawrites :
oh i almost forgot to mention how incredibly beautiful Griffin looks! he is such an adorable baby! has your eyes too, kinda eerie. :)
from betchy :
are you mad? why wouldnt he be attracted to you? you're gorgeous! its not like you have some huge flaw that would make him think "bleurgh!" unless you have an annoying voice. do you have an annoying voice? i really doubt it somehow. dont be daft. meet him. he will love you. i know it!
from aidawrites :
Def. not closed. It was purely amazing last night yet its so weird. yesterday Matt was an ex boyfriend, today he is the love of my life, but that sounds sad, and I dont feel sad. I feel patient and secure. very new feeling for me.
from sweet-cynic :
nope, i didn't catch the punked but what happened? i love how you always keep me updated on pop culture.
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
from classygirl83 :
Ali~~ I think that you're a great girl, and I think that you're beatiful and very pretty and nice. I just always get the feeling that you don't really like me. You say in your comments about diaries about how much you love everyone and how great they are, but at the same time, you didn't say anything nice in my comment about my diary. That's not the thing that hurts my feelings the most though. The thing that hurts them the most is that you alwaysl eave me notes, that are nice, but yet there is a hint of rudeness in the undertone. I Don't know if you mean to be rude in the undertone or what but there is rudeness there. I keep on telling you that those mean notes make me cry and they really hurt my feelings, but yet yous till post mean notes. I'm not expecting people to kiss my ass all the tiem, but at the same time I get IMes from people that read my notes, and they agree that your notes to me are exceptionally rude. I wonder why that is? I could understand it if it were only since I made Tosha mad at me. but at the same time it was going on before that. I hope that you don't take this note the wrong way. I really do think that you're a great girl! I hope that you have a great week! Maybe my feelings are too sensitive. I'm sure that they are, but they are still my feelings.
from eggsaucted :
Considering the fact that hanging up on without even answering, sending him to voicemail and all of the other things I've tried haven't worked, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck. I can't understand what he hopes to get out of it. He and I have been broken up for over 4 years. He hasn't had a prayer of getting anywhere with me or getting back together with me in over 3 years. I'm not particularly nice to him and still he calls and calls and calls. I rarely take the calls, usually not on purpose. I can't figure out his rationale for calling. When we were together he had a decent relationship with some of his ex's so I assumed maybe that was what this was about, but he told me a while ago he doesn't talk to single one of them anymore. So why me? It's beyond me. The mere mention of him drives Kevin crazy, so I do even more to try and make him stop calling and it doesn't work. The missed calls log on my cell phone is full of calls from him. I'm not even nice to him anymore, but he keeps calling. Sounds like it was a good email, I'm just warning you, it often seems that what we think is a perfectly obvious brush off, guys somehow seem to think it's an invite to be friends. Oh and yea....she's a very cute age. She drives me crazy sometimes, but I love her. Gotta go!
from eggsaucted :
Considering the fact that hanging up on without even answering, sending him to voicemail and all of the other things I've tried haven't worked, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck. I can't understand what he hopes to get out of it. He and I have been broken up for over 4 years. He hasn't had a prayer of getting anywhere with me or getting back together with me in over 3 years. I'm not particularly nice to him and still he calls and calls and calls. I rarely take the calls, usually not on purpose. I can't figure out his rationale for calling. When we were together he had a decent relationship with some of his ex's so I assumed maybe that was what this was about, but he told me a while ago he doesn't talk to single one of them anymore. So why me? It's beyond me. The mere mention of him drives Kevin crazy, so I do even more to try and make him stop calling and it doesn't work. The missed calls log on my cell phone is full of calls from him. I'm not even nice to him anymore, but he keeps calling. Sounds like it was a good email, I'm just warning you, it often seems that what we think is a perfectly obvious brush off, guys somehow seem to think it's an invite to be friends. Oh and yea....she's a very cute age. She drives me crazy sometimes, but I love her. Gotta go!
from nicolerenee :
Actually, because it will hurt him, I never considered telling him. But now with recent events, I feel that he will find out from another source, and I feel that it will hurt him more. I am still wrestling with telling him every day. I would obviously rather not tell him, because it will kill him, but, I don't know. Thanks for the advice though. :) XOXO
from quinngirl33 :
k, i will update you on the happenings in my life and try to clear it all up. my dad is having a baby w/his girlfriend. they have been together for about a year now. i absolutely love her. my parents were to chaotic together and it is for the best that they are not together anymore. TRUST ME uhm, yes kev and i are together. for some reason the only way i can explain our relationship is....are you ready? i have always had the worst fights with my best friends...ALWAYS (!) i don't know if it's bc we were so alike it was scary, but somewhere along the way i guess my husband has become my best friend. and we are so alike in every way it is scary. he finished anger management a while ago and goes to counciling every now and again, but that is for his past. don't know if you read one my entrys from about a week ago i guess but his mom is a bit coo coo with a capital C. got it (?) p.s. i commented on your last entry.
from aidawrites :
so did you send the email? I have a feeling he is going to write you back no matter what you say. it sucks, but he's been known on being persistant in the past. I just talked to my friend Megan about Josh (she met him) and she thinks he was totally into me, and i guess when i was dancing or something he told her the whole story about how we've been trying to get together for years, lol. i thought that was cute.
from aidawrites :
hmmmmm, its a tough call. i mean, if you sound sincerly honest about it, then he will think you really couldnt care less about him. if you sound standoffish then he will think you do care. so i guess you just need to sound friendly without an ounce of bitterness. while i do admire that about you, im such a bitter bitch that i would give him a piece of my mind, but what you are doing is more mature :)
from momma-at-17 :
Alright I will do that. Just so you know my s/n is Sammybear86. In my heart I know that everything will work out, but even with that knowledge I can't help being hopeless sometimes.
from sexxie101 :
I just wanted to let you know that all of my links now work. For some reason in my template the links weren't in there right so that's why you couldn't get to my profile, notes, and archives. But they do work now. I just got them all straightend out.
from lightupnight :
Oh you're not boring!! And maybe I'm not either, but you know when you just get in that mindset that you are or that you are something else. That was my issue last night. I was reminiscing. I can't spell! Take care!
from manda-d :
Thanks! There were 2 entries before that one with pictures... did you see those? Ryan is Kaylee and John's half brother. He is their dad's son with another woman. Yes, I know it's weird. LOL He spent the night with us that night. In the part 1 and part 2 entries, there are pictures of my step kids. John and Kaylee are mine, I gave birth to them, ha ha. Andrew and Ashlyn are my step kids. Ryan is my kids' half brother. Whew, we should be on Jerry Springer or something!
from momma-at-17 :
Yes. As far as all the dates go it was him. The only other guy I was ever with happened after I was already 2 months pregnant. But he doesn't seem to get that part. Oh I hope you don't mind but I added you to my buddy list on aol. If you do mind just let me know and I will take you off.
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you very much. I will keep all that in mind. I loved him and in my heart I want to believe that he will be there for our child but I just don't know anymore. I don't know I guess we will see what happens after the DNA tests.
from jess1976 :
I'm glad to see that life is going well for you, although it still boggles me a little why you and Brandon haven't met yet. I know he is busy but no one is THAT busy and he has a few opportunities to do something but it always seem like you have something going on at that time. Are you afraid to meet him? I don't mean to be abrupt, but it just seems like you are content in just talking to him, but when the opportunity arrives to meet him, you get scared and have other plans instead. That's cool if all you want is a phone relationship with him.. it just seemed to me that you guys got along great and I am disappointed that you haven't met yet. Sounds goofy I know... just want you to be happy is all! Hope everything is going well. Have a great weekend!
from classygirl83 :
what was "Well, I guess you won't be sad since your whole life is a break" Supposed to mean? I don't have a job, but it's deffinatly NOT buy choice.
from sexxie101 :
Umm I will look into it. I think that on my layout page I have my links messed up. As far as the father goes, I'm really undecided about the birth certificate. I don't know what to do. He's at such an immature age that I am really at a loss for how to even deal with any of it. I don't know. It's really tough. More so that I am so young, and I know that things happen but I already love this child to death ya know? I guess the stress is just getting to me.
from heylee :
Heath Ledger is so yum! NO, seriously, I know I need to get crackin on the wedding stuff. Just lately, I feel too stressed to even worry about the wedding. This weekend, Brian and I are going to go looking at places hopefully. Other than that, yeah, I need to plan. I just haven't found the motivation for it since other stuff has been going so crappy... I'm just in a rut, but I'll get out...
from quinngirl33 :
i have no idea why that is in there 2x's. your note is in my notes 2x's too. funny. he he
from quinngirl33 :
1st off i never called her a freak for being a christian. i thought we were good friends, apparently not. she cheated on her hubby and is afraid my hubby will tell so she just ended the friendship. well i shouldn't say just ended the friendship. she wrote me a letter judging me for everything i do in my life. basically telling me what i do is wrong. i drink, smoke occassionally, watch porn w/the hubby, my son took some chocolate from cvs once and she saw it.(she laughed w/me about it) other than that i am a part time worker and stay at home mom of a beautiful boy, kevin. it just took my by surprise bc this was totally out of the blue. no warning. one day friends, the next day enemies. i just wonder what gives her the right to call me out on things. so i decided to do the immature thing and call her out on all the shitty things she has done. and so now ww3. oh well. i relish in drama. i wasn't even reading her diary until lonelyintx told me that she was pregnant. and your dam straight i mention her in my diary. her ending our friendship so abruptly really hurt and it felt good to get it out. if she is upset about it than that is her issue. i will be a 2 year old and say "she started it" hehe. anyway i am not looking for an opinion bc that wouldn't be fair of me. i probaly only got out about 25% of the incident. it is just nice to vent....breathe....
from quinngirl33 :
1st off i never called her a freak for being a christian. i thought we were good friends, apparently not. she cheated on her hubby and is afraid my hubby will tell so she just ended the friendship. well i shouldn't say just ended the friendship. she wrote me a letter judging me for everything i do in my life. basically telling me what i do is wrong. i drink, smoke occassionally, watch porn w/the hubby, my son took some chocolate from cvs once and she saw it.(she laughed w/me about it) other than that i am a part time worker and stay at home mom of a beautiful boy, kevin. it just took my by surprise bc this was totally out of the blue. no warning. one day friends, the next day enemies. i just wonder what gives her the right to call me out on things. so i decided to do the immature thing and call her out on all the shitty things she has done. and so now ww3. oh well. i relish in drama. i wasn't even reading her diary until lonelyintx told me that she was pregnant. and your dam straight i mention her in my diary. her ending our friendship so abruptly really hurt and it felt good to get it out. if she is upset about it than that is her issue. i will be a 2 year old and say "she started it" hehe. anyway i am not looking for an opinion bc that wouldn't be fair of me. i probaly only got out about 25% of the incident. it is just nice to vent....breathe....
from aidawrites :
Yeah, i know its kind of a long story, but basically the few times we have talked recently we have talked about us, and he seems very mature and honest about the mistakes he made, and it feels good to hear these things from him, but like i had said before im over matt and theres nothing left for us. i guess a part of me will always love him, but the past is the past you know? i gotta move forward, and holding on to memories and "what ifs" is never going to let me move on. He asked me last night if i could do it all over again would i, and i told him even though we had some great times, i would never do it again, and that hurt him because he said i was the best thing that ever happened to him. but i told him he hurt me more than words could ever explain and that it was the worst time of my life when we broke up. so he basically understood, and told me to make sure the next guy i fall in love with, deserves me, so i guess he is trying to be sweet. its a change from his usual cocky attitude. in all honesty i dont want to continue this little friendship, it doesnt do anything for me.
from heylee :
Luke isn't Australian...he met people from Australia(all around the world actually) when he was working on a cruise ship, so now that his contract is over, he is going to blow his cash in Australia for 2 or 3 months. I don't really find him attractive. He's soooooo skinny, to the point where he disappears when he turns sideways!
from aidawrites :
Jealously is such a waste of time and it really can ruin relationships. I would look through matt's bedroom when he wasnt there and flook for proof of ex girlfriends, and i would drive myself insane reading old letters and seeing old pictures. it was such a stupid thing! everyone has a past. speaking of matt, i havent written about it, but we have started talking to each other on the phone and stuff, its wierd, i dont know what it means but he sent me a post card from colorado (he is up ther skiing) anyway, today is such a dark day, i think im going to skip class and skip the gym and not feel guilty about it.
from tfrunner262 :
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for all of your kind notes. I clicked your homepage thing and it was locked so I just looked up your diary through d-land. It is so nice of you to care and you must be a really sweet person. It makes me feel a little better to know that I am not the only one who thought my roommate was being a little inconsiderate, or something, when she decided to hate me... for a while I was trying to figure out if it was just me or something. Anyway, thank you soo much! Luvs, ~Kris~
from aidawrites :
yeah you are totally right. you are more confident than me because i would be a jealous freak, then again, im latin so we are jealous freaks by nature. it was like when i found out matt's ex girlfriend was a NBA cheerleader, i wanted to die of jealousy, i would pray she would break her leg in one of her cheers. now i realize how silly it was and that i really made it into a bigger deal than it should have been. personal demons you know?
from heylee :
hahaha, your note made me laugh! The roommie is really pale and pastey, and it looks kind of scary against her black hair. She wears a hell of a lot of make up too! I guess Luke thinks she's nice and he pretty much does anything that walks!
from aidawrites :
thats weird. i didnt know they were seperated. well, if i was a guy and i had ashley judd's number i would def. be calling. heck, i would be calling if i had her number period, lol. thats cool that you can see her as a regular person, but i just love her movies as dorky as that sounds and i think she's got the best body and a real unique beauty.
from aidawrites :
why does she call him, isnt she married?
from momma-at-17 :
I forgot to leave the name of my first diary. It is sexxie101. Sorry. Anyway there is more details that you may want there.
from momma-at-17 :
First of all thank you for reading. Second, My baby is on the way at the moment. I am 6 months pregnant. The biological father has been doing the things I talk about in this diary for the last 4 of the 6 months. So all this is happening while I am pregnant. I'm not sure if I am going to put his name on the birth certificate or not yet. I don't think that I will since he has been doing nothing but adding stress since I told him that I was pregnant. Umm, that's kind of the gist of it but if there is anything else that you want to know you can always check out my first diary. I started this one so that I would have some privacy from the father.
from xx-angel-xx :
Hi, Thank you for reading my diary! I'm going to try to get around to reading yours but with my computer not acting correctly its very hard. No, I'm not with Joe, Logan's father. We however get along, most of the time. Just too much happened. I'm sorry to hear that you went through some of the same things I have too. Its an aweful thing! GOod Luck though! I'll be reading ya!
from juli-anne :
Actually I'm glad that you found this one. You will definitly be in for a suprise, though. This one is much different, and I must admit, not quite as much fun. I update it much more regularly and you will get to know more about me, that's for sure!
from aidawrites :
I did not know that was Jerry O'connell's brother! That makes it kinda weird, what if he's just doing it to get famous? He is kinda cute, but nothing spectacular. I wonder if the bachelor from last season is still with the girl he chose (mary) it seems like these relationships never last.
from betchy :
i am sure your meeting with Brandon will go just fine! if you get on well over the phone or IM or whatever, you will in person. when you have that click with someone you just know x
from cosmopolitn :
Ali.. Just wanted to let you know that I am back and I did update..Sorry I was gone for so long and I am so happy for you that Griffin slept through the night in his own crib..What an obstacle to overcome..Hopefully he will keep on! Thank you for the note on Valentine's day, it was so sweet..
from vegasmommy :
It must vary state to state. Because, here they get 2 month, 4 month, 6 month, 9 month, and 18 month. Only, I'm bringing him in at 12 months too so I can get him the nonmandatory but I feel necessary chickenpox vaccine. I've never had the pox so it's fatal to me if he gets it and I catch it :( How is Griffin??
from quinngirl33 :
me again(!) good god, how long has 90210 been on soap net, and why did i not know about this? i use to watch it when it was on FX at 8am and 9am and then on again at 4pm and 5pm. the funny thing is the ones that were on at 4 and 5 were repeated the next day and 8 and 9 but i am such a loser i still watched them. i lust for 90210!
from quinngirl33 :
me again(!) good god, how long has 90210 been on soap net, and why did i not know about this? i use to watch it when it was on FX at 8am and 9am and then on again at 4pm and 5pm. the funny thing is the ones that were on at 4 and 5 were repeated the next day and 8 and 9 but i am such a loser i still watched them. i lust for 90210!
from beautyx3 :
Chris doesn't pay my bills with his own money, I give him my money and he writes the checks for me. I overdrew in my checking account so they closed it, so I just give him my money and he manages it for me, I'm a little irresponsible when it comes to money. But that's good news that Griffen slept through the night in his own crib. Have a fun friday!
from quinngirl33 :
thanks, just took a look at "the men that once were"geez, their are some pretty yummy guys on that list. you should be proud :)
from quinngirl33 :
hi hope you don't mind, i linked you from opalanne. read your profile and would love your pw if you are looking for new readers. i have a pretty boring diary but check it out if you'd like. going to go take your survey now.
from eggsaucted :
Everytime I buy her highness new bigger shoes they look huge, but kids this age just keep growing. We get most of her shoes at target. From our experience she went four sizes in the first year but so far only 2 this year. Which is about right also when you thionk about their clothes, babies have 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 9-12 but then it goes 12-18, or 18 and 24. Of course her highness has started wearing a lot of 24 month clothes already, but she's still pretty much right on for her age in terms of weight and height so based on my experience, that's my feeling on sizes. Of course we all know every kid is different and growth or development are pretty specific to every kid and they do things at their pace.
from eggsaucted :
Hey think size 4 is just about right on for a 1 year old....thats the size her highness wore last summer when she was 1.
from krazieespy :
Since your locked, I cant quite read your diary, but I came by to thank you for checking mine out and leaving me a note :-)
from beautyx3 :
I hope Brandon makes it to your birthday celeb., that would be a could b-day present. My b-day is on the 15th of March and a bunch of my friends have theirs's around the same time as mine too; it's fun to go out and celebrate our birthdays together, this year we are all going to Vegas. Anyway, I'm sure he'll make it.
from elliemay23 :
I actually just picked 30 out of a hat. It was a nice round number. I don't know if this is the last child or not, but I won't do it til I know for sure. I don't want them sagging again. It's partly age and partly children. If they were small I probably wouldn't be having this problem, but when you are blessed in the boob department things tend to fall a little quicker.
from eggsaucted :
She's been telling Kevin for almost two years he wasn't allowed to see me, it's nothing new. Yes we are still together and we see each as often as we can. Sometimes that is several times a week, sometimes it's once a week. He works 80+ hours a week and lives 10 or 15 miles away and I work 40 hours a week or more and have other commitments, so it isn't easy, but it is what it is and we love each other and so it continues.
from elliemay23 :
I don't know...why?
from aidawrites :
I just dont want him to think im easy because of the way i acted on friday. im just so nervous about this guy, i really just want him to like me, and i want him NOT to be full of shit! yeah, the hand job was weird, i hadnt done that since high school. afterwards it was like, ummm let me go get you a tissue, lol.
from eggsaucted :
There are actually a few stinky face books. But I love you stinky face is the only one I've ever seen as a board book.
from aidawrites :
If your birth control has iron then that is what is causing you to feel dizzy. I had the same issue. But iron is good for you, so stick with it. About Brandon, I think its great that you are going to concentrate on him, I think its the smart and mature thing to do. At the end of teh day John and Jeff are fun, but sometimes fun just gets boring.
from brooklyntcb :
I really only get nauseous if I miss and have to double up. To alleviate that nausea I take one in the morning and one at night. It might help if you don't take it on a empty stomach also. I think in the beginning I may have felt some nausea but it subsided...your MD will be able to put your mind at ease though : )
from vegasmommy :
OMG I know!! People think their babies are so much better than everyone else's. Ugh. I realize Zack isn't advanced. I don't really think there's such thing as advanced at this age. He has moved quicker in some areas and slower in others. That's just normal. ~~ I had a friend who let her 1-year-old eat anything she wanted. Cookies, soda, cheeseburgers. She gave her cheetos for breakfast. She said "that's what she wanted and as long as she's getting something down." Damn I hate that phrase. As long as she's getting something down... UGH! I won't be giving my child a choice. Not "what do you want for breakfast?"... it'll be "Do you want toast or fruit with your oatmeal?" I can't stand people that think their children are okay with making all their own decisions. You need to teach them to make the right ones by making the right ones for them. I just don't understand other mothers' parenting methods. Zack is eating adult food now... but only what my pediatrician said a 9-month-old is allowed to have. He doesn't get junkfood. With my new diet, I don't even keep it in the house. He gets chopped fruits and chopped spaghetti. His treats are the ones Gerber makes. He's just so special to me. I refuse to let him eat his way to unhealthiness.
from vegasmommy :
I have to say... I read your note on dysenchanted's note page and cracked up. You're right. Why do we rush our babies into eating? So they can eat the crap we eat and get fat? I think half the reason I'm changing my eating habits is for Zack. So he can see healthy eating and hopefully mimick it. They say a child learns at the earliest age... Good luck with the locarbs! I really mean that!! I hope they do great things for you. And, I know it's hard. I did it for a couple months and... I nearly freaked thinking about all the things I couldn't have. Of course, I did The Zone diet in 2000... before it was popular :( I didn't have Carb Counter menus and things to buy at the grocery store. It has to be easier now! Maybe I should give that a thought after I'm done nursing. I'm not allowed to go on that extreme a diet while nursing sigh.
from aidawrites :
sounds like Jeff's marriage is going from bad to worse, i bet someone will be filing for divorce soon. Do they have kids? i hope not. I'm eating canned peaches right now daydreaming about tacos and burritos. damn it, i can do this!
from betchy :
no, i never saw the baby. i was asked if i wanted to, and i was even asked if i wanted a funeral. but because i had resigned myself to the fact that i wasnt pregnant, i hadnt become emotionally attatched, and i thought if i saw the baby it would just make it that much harder to come to terms with. the only thing i wanted to know was if it was a boy or a girl. thats why i was so glad that Jason and Jody had a boy. i think i may have gone to pieces if they had a girl. the worst bit though, was that i never told Jason about any of this, but when i was with Wizz (Jasons brother), i told him but told him not to say anything because i didnt want to drag up the past. but Wizz told their mum, who hated me (not suprising, i slept with all 3 of her sons), and she rang me and accussed me of being a liar, and said that i was blaming Jason for me being barren. she even called me "Barren Becky". i was like "how can i blame him when i never even told him, and didnt want him to know?" it was the most horrible thing that anyone has ever said to me. can you imagine having the most traumatic experience of your life broadcast to the people you least want to know, then being ridiculed and accused of lying about it? there is something seriously wrong with that family. all they ever seem to want to do is cause me pain. sorry, i have just totally gone off on one in your notes there! i apologise, and i hope you have a good weekend x
from betchy :
the last time i ever slept with Jason i got pregnant, but i didnt realise. i thought i was because i had a swollen tummy and wasnt having periods, but all the tests i took were negative (i did 4). i just put it down to water retention or something. anyway, i started bleeding really heavily one day, and i thought it was just where i hadnt had a period in so long. then i started getting really bad pains too, and my friend who was with me at the time filled the rest of this in for me, as i passed out from the pain. she rang an ambulance, that took me to the hospital. theynhad to knock me out with morphine while i was there because i was screaming with agony. i dont remember any of this. the next thing i rememeber is waking up in hospital, with my friend crying, telling me that i had had a baby girl, but she had died inside me. i was 18 weeks pregnant. because the baby had been inside me for a couple of days i got an infection in my womb, and that is what has left me highly unlikely to have children. i have a 10 per cent chance, but that is practically nothing. i have just got used to the fact that i wont have any. and "x" means a kiss. so whe i leave you notes like this and put xxx it means kiss kiss kiss. but im not a lesbian! xxx
from vegasmommy :
Those are adorable shirts :) I hope the locarb diet goes well for you! It didn't work for me (of course I'm hypoglycemic and I need carbs). But, I've heard such GREAT things about it! :)
from starlight42 :
Well, I think my mom was hormonal for a few years. But of course I think other things were involved, like I was seriously dating someone she hated for one thing. But looking back, I realize a lot of it was hormones. In fact, it lasted right up until Dave & I met. Ya, must have been several years. Of course, she didn't go to the dr's...so she didn't do anything to try & stablize herself. Bad idea! I hope your mom apologizes to you for the way she acted, I know it's the worst when your mom says stuff like that. It doesn't seem like a mom should ever do that. *hugs*
from aidawrites :
What did you and Jeff do? Oh and i think our moms might be hormonal because of menapause or something, well at least thats what she blames it on.
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ Yeah, I guess you're right about once you start haveing it it's hard not to. I dunno. I Hope that you have a great week this week! Oh, and I agree with Aida, but I think that John still likes you so that's always a plus! He sounds really fun!!!
from aidawrites :
Reading your entry today i cant help but wonder if Jeff hasnt told John about you two kissing. I dont know how close the two are, but i do know men love to brag, and they are just as bad as women when it comes to gossip. The way John made that homewrecker comment, it makes me think he is a little jealous about you and Jeff. Just a thought :) Oh, and im not feeling as depressed as i was this morning when i wrote my entry, feeling much more positive tonight :)
from starlight42 :
I checked out Jennifer Crusie's website today & thought you'd get a kick out of it, if you haven't already seen. She has some awesome notes on each of her books, and her sense of humor really shines through! Here's the link: http://www.jennycrusie.com/ Oh, I bought Welcome to Temptation, Faking It, Tell Me Lies & Crazy for You on Ebay & they just arrived today- can't wait to read them!
from starlight42 :
I checked out Jennifer Crusie's website today & thought you'd get a kick out of it, if you haven't already seen. She has some awesome notes on each of her books, and her sense of humor really shines through! Here's the link: http://www.jennycrusie.com/ Oh, I bought Welcome to Temptation, Faking It, Tell Me Lies & Crazy for You on Ebay & they just arrived today- can't wait to read them!
from manda-d :
Yeah, it sucks. He's been doing it since November and I hate it.
from manda-d :
Jason works nights. He's asleep when I leave for work. I am asleep when he gets home from work. I tried to wait up last night, but I didn't make it :(
from starlight42 :
Well, probably once he gets to be 2 you'll have to start requiring little things of him. Like starting to listen to you. And of course there will be the tantrums...From everything I've seen and read though, it's not a good idea to have your child sleep with you on a regular basis. They get too used to it & never sleep alone. I'm sure it will be a slow process. Maybe there's a good book out there that would have some suggestions on this & other stuff. But don't feel bad, you don't want to be one of those parents whose kid is still sleeping with them at age 5!
from starlight42 :
Oops, just wanted to clarify, I guess I got off on a tangent there. I didn't mean you should require more of Griffin, like you said, he's too little. I meant when the kids get older- 3, 5, 7 and so on. Like, for instance, Dave's nephew is NOT required to eat at the table, he can eat anything he wants, which is usually only a hot dog or crackers. And he is never forced to eat anything like veggies, he just eats whatever he wants. It's funny though that I made him sit at the table last night, I made him eat about 3/4ths of the food & he did it. That's what I meant. You probably thought I was nuts...saying you needed to require Griffin to do stuff! LOL
from robochick :
Hey, would you mind giving me your e-mail address? I'd like to chat but don't want to leave a long old note :)
from toxicsmile :
i hope you enjoyed valentine's day this year, i know i would if i had a gorgeous little son as my valentine! i'd dress him up and show him off and wouldn't care about not being in love or having a real valentine! =) take care!
from joecartoon :
Oh, and I hope that you have a great Valentine's Day beautiful!!!
from joecartoon :
Now, now... when I say ball, I mean real ball... Baseball. Not basketball.
from vegasmommy :
Happy Valentine's Day! I hope yours is beautiful. Thank you soooo much for the encouragement before!! I really needed to hear that! Hugs.
from heylee :
Hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day also!!!
from robochick :
Thanks for the wishes! Trying to keep my chin up. Who invented this day anyway??? Enjoy :)
from r-y-r :
I hope you have a great valentines day, your outlook on the day is great and what better company can you ask for than your beautiful little man... Griffin.
from brooklyntcb :
Happy Valentine's Day to you also!!
from aidawrites :
I have so many favorite scenes, its hard to pick one, but I love the one when they are dancing in the middle of the street and the song I'll Be Seeing You is in the background. Oh and of course i love the one when they are all wet from the rain and they start taking their clothes off, OMG, i get chills just thinking about it. I NEED that in my life!
from joecartoon :
A little bit of revenge tonight... You know I'm a ballplayer and we took your boys down 10-1 tonight. I'm glad the real ball season is finally here!
from beautyx3 :
OMIGOD! How hot is he! I could stare at his picture all day, you are so lucky you get to see him up close and personal.
from vegasmommy :
Yes, I did which is why I haven't updated it yet. Hmmmm... There's another kind of weight tracker at TickerCentral.com I might use. It might be different... ~ I hope some of my advice helps out! I know a lot of advice from people is unwelcomed by new mommies lol... but I'm just telling you what genuinely works for Zack. Of course, not last night LOL It might work for Griffin too! :)
from beautyx3 :
Yay for making out on your office floor! I'm kind of confused still about which guy is which, I am still trying to catch up on your entries from back in Oct. but I'll get there. Have a good weekend.
from vegasmommy :
My trick with getting Zack to sleep through the night is the same bedtime ritual everyday. Even if I interrupt it just once by letting someone else put him to bed or by being out with friends, it takes at least a week to get him back to sleeping all night. I bathe him the same time every night. We read a book. I sing him the same song. I feed him so he's full. And, then I put him in the crib at the same time every night. He cries for the same amount of time too LOL... about 10 minutes. But, then he's down until after 7. I learned that he thrives on the SAME thing everyday, even if I don't want to do it all the time. I want to go out with a friend, but I can't until he's down for the night. I want us all to go out and watch the late night fountain show, but we can't or Zack will wake up several times a night. Sigh. Babies are soooo difficult LOL. I hope Griffin goes back to the all night sleeping. Also, he might be done growing for right now (in between growth spurts). Wait until he hits 8 months, then he'll be in a huge growth spurt. Zack is almost 9 months now and for the past month, he's been napping constantly... sleeping late... I love it!! :D
from robochick :
Thank you for supporting s-b. The female friend really isn't the issue anymore. He and I are trying to focus on acknowledgement and repair. He and I are in different places in the heart of healing, so he needs all the encouragement he can get. The more he gets, the better I feel for him. I love him, and want to make him feel better. Even if it's little. Thank you again for your support and kind words.
from eggsaucted :
No you're not wrong. I wanted her highness to sleep in her own room. But for a year it just didn't work. It didn't matter if I stood on my head and I tried it all. I altered her feeding habits, I changed the length of her naps and the time of day when she napped, I even tried letting her cry it out. But she would just keep crying it didn't end it went on for hours and those were hours of sleep that I was losing. It will happen when he's ready. There may be times when you think you've got it all figured out and then he throws a big ol' wrench into your plans. Babies have their own desires and schedules and unfortunately they don't share them with the rest of us. It really does get better, but frankly the first year is really rough. I'm sure every year will present it's difficulties, but year one has the major stumbling block of the fact that the child is extremely dependent on you and also can't really communicate. Hang in there. I'm not saying you're wrong.
from eggsaucted :
Well her highness slept with me for all or part of the night up until she was a year old. Then it just clicked. There are still nights where she does, especially if she isn't feeling well. It's becoming less and less frequent. But I've come to accept it's something kids do, they want to sleep with mommy sometimes it's going to happen no matter what we do.
from eggsaucted :
Not that this helps much...but her highness was the worst sleeper ever. She didn't sleep through an entire night until she was a year old, never once, never more than maybe 6 hours. But now she's 19 months old and as long as she's in bed by 9 or 9:30 she lays down and puts herself to sleep, no fussing or bottles. Every baby is different and every baby needs what they need. Griffin will get the sleeping thing, when he's ready it sucks for us as mommy's but the way I saw it, if the worst thing her highness had that was wrong with her was she was a bad sleeper then I could be thankful, because in the big picture not sleeping is a pretty small problem compared to all the things that children can suffer from.
from r-y-r :
Are you buying the complete food guide? That seems like a good buy. I would really like to start this. Let me know what book exactly you end up getting so we can compare or if you are buying a different than the one I mentioned.
from robochick :
Hey aliboomboom- I can see how you may be one sided, because you and I haven't had any conversations. I have definately taken responsibility for my actions, immensely. Ask science-boy. Now, I am going to impose a question to you, and you may not like it. Have you ever been married? If you have not, then it is very easy for someone else to pass judgement on anothers situation. Marriage is a whole different ball game. 12 years and two kids, is a whole different ball game. You don't know my side, about how hurt I was that he wasn't there for me. I was feeling left alone, but I didn't seek comfort elsewhere. You have established a relationship with him, so I totally can understand your taking sides. And that's totally cool, honestly. I don't need recognition for anything. But again, if you want to hear my side, I will definately share with you via e-mail. I actually would like to get another opinion, especially one that has been in his corner. So, let me know if you want my e-mail address, ok? And I do thank you for your best wishes for both of us. :)
from heylee :
On RW last night, everyone got mad at the blond girl(forgot her name) because she doesn't let anyone else talk. Vonda went off on her and she got upset and called her Dad and wanted to go home. Then in the morning everyone talked and they want her to stay, they just want her to realize how she can sometimes come across. It wasn't a very interesting episode. Landon and Vonda were still hanging out together but I don't know if they are offically a "thing" or not. I hope you get to meet up with Brandon on Friday!!!!
from beautyx3 :
Hi ali, just wondering if I could get your new password? thanks
from science-boy :
Hey...don't you have a birthday coming up? If I missed it, I am so sorry!! Have a hug! And if it is coming up, save the hug for then!! s-b
from singlegirl :
They were in a car accident, but the questions that remain is if he killed her beforehand and staged the car accident (the accident was weird - he sped up before he hit the wall, and why was he fine but her head smashed in - she was wearing a seatbelt) and if it WAS an accident, was she alive afterwards and then died because he left her there? The entire situation is shady and I think he looks guilty as hell since he just left her there and didn't call the police. But, we'll never know what really happened.
from vegasmommy :
It's Mardi Gras time already?? Goodness... Now, I have to head over to The Orleans casino and drink some more. Sigh. Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do... I can't wait for my son to be weaned so there's no guilt afterwards LOL
from kris-tee :
Hey I had a terrible night, Friday night, read my diary. Oh and about Griffin, I think it's his teeth. I really do. It sounds just like Blake when his teeth are bothering him. There are these things, called teething tablets, not a lot of people know about them but they are the best things, since sliced bread. They are completely natural and 100% homeopathic. Brad and I have two bottles, we keep one as a back up. You can buy them at Rite Aid or Walgreens, we got ours at Rite aid I think. ok, I have got to read this robo chicks diary now, after reading the notes she left you.
from betchy :
kissing a married guy doesnt make you a whore. it makes him a cheat. it is not your responsibility to be loyal to their wife, it is theirs. you're not the one cheating, they are. dont feel bad about it.
from robochick :
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I never had any relationship with anyone via internet. He read into a high school friend that I've talked to twice. NO COMPARISION MY FRIEND.
from robochick :
Great thanks, nice to hear an "un-sided" opinion. But you know what, I asked you. Silly me. Asking a complete stranger that doesn't know crap about my life with my husband, other than the emotional shit we're both writing about. So if it makes you feel good to defend him, then awesome. Any support he can get makes me so happy. I love him. As you were at your lowest what, a year and a half ago, not knowing what the hell you were thinking or wanting, because of what feelings you were going through, and you just happend to get a great guy, my husband, to help you through it? So glad he helped. But I bet if he gave you the same snotty un-supportive advice you gave me, I'm sure you'd think differently. And just for the record, you have no idea what an internet relationship is. You are not a mother of two who has had a pretty great marriage up until life through you some curves. So until you walk in my or my husbands shoes, I wouldn't be so cocky in my attitude or opinions. So now, I'm going to appologize for any harshness that's coming out towards you. You know nothing of me, my husband or my relationship. And us not of you. So who the heck are any of us to judge the other? Frankly, too much negitive energy has been spent on this alone. Thanks for responding...
from robochick :
Hey there, could you read my entry today? Thanks, r-c
from aidawrites :
Omigosh Ali! I got Julie too on the OC Quiz. Im horrified! Im not like Julie, I mean, i do like money and power and i do love my clothes and i am attracted to men who are taken, but that isnt bad, right?
from starlight42 :
Who knows what the writers think at times. I still think the whole Salem Stalker was poorly planned, and I wonder if it didn't end up being such a mess & that's why they brought back the actors. It just doesn't flow...YES, Mimi is so much prettier than the new Belle. I liked the old Belle SO much better! Mimi is pretty because she is also down to earth & more like an average girl. I don't know what will be coming up, it seems like the story lines are moving slowly lately. I'm ready for them to find Georgia already! And why is Sami's wedding taking forever?
from starlight42 :
Yes, I think Cassie & Philip did make out before they knew...didn't Rex or somebody even find them in bed, almost ready to have sex? The show just kind of disregarded that...Rex was sleeping. And then he & Mimi talked & she still hasn't told him. Ugh!! I want her to tell him.
from bethany9 :
Sami and Lucas are getting married? It's like the freakin apocalypse! By the way. my friend made me watch One Tree Hill last week, so I got hooked I watched it again this week. Wow. I will continue to watch it b/c of BETHANY JOY (my middle name as well) Lentz! Pimp slap your sister, girl. She's a HO!
from robochick :
Hi there! You were really sweet with your messages when I was writing way back when. I'm back and would love to let people in on my life. Do you know if there is a way I can tell everyone so that they can read my diary? I'm in need of some feedback and would appreciate other peoples perspectives. Thank you! robochick
from lookin-up :
hey I got a new page! -jenna
from anita-girl :
Hi!! Thanks so much for the note! I am going to add you to my buddy list and keep up with you! Thanks so much for inviting me to read your diary. It must be very hard to be a single mom, but being a mom is the best job in the world. The love you have when you talk about your son truly shows that. I am so excited to start trying soon, nevermind I am so excited that I am off birth control! I hope i get pregnant quickly, my mom reminded me yesterday how easy it was for her. And actually like almost everyone in my family's first babies were accidents, so maybe were furtile too! :> Sometimes I feel kinda guilty about watching so much tv, but well I can't help it! :> I also love Days of Our Lives, but I just can't watch it too much since I work during the day, although some days I am home a bit earlier and I can, so I have been able to keep up to date. We dont' have SoapNet here. I can't get over the Belle and Shawn story line, it's getting me mad, I want them togather, and I don't really like this Belle, and I hate Jann!
from science-boy :
I'll update a bunch about that tomorrow...when I finished today, I realized I have so much more...thanks buddy!! s-b
from science-boy :
Great questions!! I will add another entry to elaborate. I forget you have not been on the ride with me the whole while. I have really missed you!! s-b
from vickithecute :
Yeah, at the time he was there, he was one of only two officer...the other was Shawn, who was acting Chief while the actual Chief was on disability (I think his name was Danny). Anyway, Shawn is now the Chief of Police for real. It takes me about 7 hours to get down there; I usually leave after work on Thursday and come back on Monday. As far as where we're going to live? Your guess is as good as mine. I don't want to leave here, but Bobby isn't ready to leave KY yet. (He left Elkhorn before he was sent to the police academy and he's afraid if he moved here, he'd never be able to find another job as a police officer, not without having gone through the academy. So he's staying there, where he has connections, at least until he can get hired on by a department that will put him through the academy. It's frustrating as hell, but I can't push him to give up on his dream - it would be disastrous to our long term relationship)
from vickithecute :
Holy cow! Bobby used to be a cop in Elkhorn City! I'm drive down to Pikeville (from Baltimore MD) about once a month and yeah, I really like it there. If it weren't for my kids and my job, I'd move down there. Bobby's originally from Hawaii but he's lived in Pikeville since he was maybe 3 or 4 years old. Hey, if you make it to Hillbilly Days this year, we should meet up!
from krugerpak007 :
I miss reading you, and your lovely notes and want to catch up. Will you allow me in again? If yes, please e-mail me at [email protected] Thanks, Kathy
from sweetone03 :
Good luck with Brandon I hope everything turns out the ways you want it too.
from vickithecute :
Okay, wait. I'm reading over your old entries and you mention something about going to KY for Hillbilly Days? I was SO at Hillbilly Days last year....and the year before. My fiance lives in Pikeville and I'm down there about once a month. Chica, I haven't read enough of your diary yet so maybe the answer is in there, but are your from that area? Where 'bouts are you now? (oh and please forgive the chica reference - I have NO idea where that came from....)
from vickithecute :
Billie yuck, Brandon yuck, Jan yuck!!! I think they said what happened to Jan's baby, but I forgot. Have they confirmed that Georgia is alive? I think I remember reading rumors about that (and a really neat theory too, that I can't recall) but I didn't know that it had been confirmed. Can't Billie just take Georgia and go back to Paris or something?
from joecartoon :
Hey sweetheart!! Kudo's on the Cotton Bowl. Heck, by the time I got in the stadium we'd already turned the ball over 3 times and it was 17-0. Wow. It was ugly in a hurry. Happy/Merry Christmas/NewYears/MLK Day/Whatever other days I missed!!! It's been a long (but good!) month, but I'm glad school has started again. Back to some sort of normal routine again. E-mail me your login info again, b/c I can't find it.
from vickithecute :
Okay, I have to admit I like Sami. I mean, I don't like her like I would like to have her for a friend ::shudders:: But I love the character. Is she still with Lucas? I heard they were bringing creepy Brandon back? Jack and Jen are one of my all time favorite couples. (You should have seen the happy dance I did when I heard Jack was coming back - um...not recently, after he was killed off, but a few years ago, around the time of Greta's coronation) Actually, J&J are number three, behind B&H (#1) and Steve and Kayla...
from vickithecute :
In general yes, the right people DO end up together (I like to think that applies to real life too, but alas, we have no script writers to ensure that, do we)...but then, perceptions differ on who is "right" together. Me, I was a HUGE Phillip/Chloe fan...and well, that didn't work out. And there are people who like Phillip and Belle (ick). But yeah, I think it'll be Belle and Shawn eventually. (Hey, I just realized something. I THINK this year marks 40 years on the air for Days - and I've been an off and on watcher for 20 of those years!! I started watching when Bo and Hope first met Ye Gods, how time flies....)
from aidawrites :
Thanks for the reassurement. I feel like kind of a dork, but you are right, everyone IS doing it ;) Sorry to hear you didnt meet Brandon! I would just go over his house right now, turn off the computer and go ali! LOL Well, all in due time.
from saucy99 :
Griffin is such a doll!
from just-deal :
THe Christmas pictures are so cute! You kinda look like Jen Schefft from the bachelorette. I couldnt think of who you reminded me of but I figured it out! lol ANyway Griffin is so cute and Brandon sounds really sweet
from vegasmommy :
I know that feeling... Could you imagine having a colicky baby? I know 3 mothers right now that do and their lives are so difficult right now. I'd love Zack regardless, but I'm thrilled he's such a well-behaved baby most of the time! Other than yesterday, I really haven't had too many problems :) He's perfect. How's Griffin?
from aidawrites :
i'll have to try this MAC lipgloss you are talking about. I use (and love) the revlon super lustrous lipgloss, its wet and shimmers a great pink color. can you go to a tanning salon? i never had to worry about that, i am super tan by nature! well, as soon as the date ends you better come home and write about it! haha, ciao!
from aidawrites :
you should go into it with low expectations. if you build something up too much there are is that chance of disapointment. i always go into a date thinking, eh, the worst that can happen is that we dont click, big deal, i move on. so if you have low expectations, the smallest detail will surprise you in a good way. ive done this so much, im very casual about dates, but trust me casual is the best attitude to have on a first date. that and a little flirty mysterious attitute. im sure you'll be great! and your back is fine! geez!
from vegasmommy :
LOVE those pictures! You and Griffin look so happy! He's such a beautiful boy!
from hertinyhands :
Hey! It's Jane. Sorry it took so long to repond. The password is "lux" and "veritas"
from aidawrites :
well you have to tell him to give you a backrub. that always works for me :) and wear really wet lipgloss, heehee, thats just another one of my tricks.
from toxicsmile :
thanks for the comment =) you're so sweet and very pretty and you have a gorgeous baby! good luck with that cute guy! ;)
from science-boy :
Oh my gosh!! Griffin is so adorable!! And you look fantastic!! I am so happy that things are working out as well as they are!! **big hug** s-b
from science-boy :
Check your email for info!
from science-boy :
Hey baby!! I have been thinking about you so much lately!! Send me your info so I can get caught up! I may start writing again! We'll chat. I hope you have pictures of the little one! OXOX s-b
from just-deal :
Aw he is so freakin cute! And hey dont fret over the weighing thing because you should only weigh yourself once a week because weight flucuates so much depending on if you have eaten, drank anything or worked out. Anyway hope all is well!
from frisky-girl :
Nah, don't be leery of him! The guys used to always complain that the only ladies that would even approach them would be over 50. Besides, why would he want any other woman besides you? ;)
from eggsaucted :
I just have a bigger problem with athletes being overpaid. I enjoy sports and all, but I their salaries are rediculous and I used to hang out with NHL players all the time and I still felt that and I told them I felt that way, they still loved me. You missed One Tree Hill last night, but I must say I wasn't impressed, I think I might be over that show.
from eggsaucted :
I totally agree about seventh heaven last night. I saw most of it and got annoyed at how fake the labor was portrayed. It's obvious Beverly Mitchell has never been in Labor.
from classygirl83 :
I'm very proud of you! I don't know, you are just soo wise and smart. I don't know why John wouldn't step up to the plate,and be the man that you want him to be. That's not very cool, but ya know it's his lose. You're beautiful, smart, intellegent, everything. I don't know. I will NEVER understand guys though. Good luck on your diet. Not that you need to go on one. You're really pretty as it is. Aren't babies really cute? I love babies. Enjoy Griffin when he's this little, it won't take long for him to get to walking, and talking, and being a big boy! Trust me.
from just-deal :
Hey girlie! I need to lose weight too since having Shaemas I have got to lose more weight. If you need any support I am here for ya with that. Also try eating smaller portions but more during the day. That helps speed up your metabolism. I used to be a personal trainer so if you need help just email me.
from frisky-girl :
Well, you probably wouldn't want to lose weight the way I had to. I got really sick and almost died...after the diagnosis I found that in order to live, I would have to diet and exercise so I wouldn't die of heart failure. Since then I've been on the South Beach diet (which is great btw) and exercising. All in all, it is very hard work. Getting motivation is the key. If you have any other questions, feel free to e-mail me [email protected] Ta!
from frisky-girl :
Thanks for the password! I had to add you to my faves because you are so cool. I enjoyed the pictures and cast and now I'm off to read more. Ta!
from heylee :
It seems like Brandon has a lot on his plate right now. With the ski patrol and firefighting. Just from the IMs that you have talked about, he seems like he's shown some interest in you. Maybe it's just physically impossible to meet up. I would be nervous in your shoes too though, not meeting yet. Hopefully things will work out one way or the other and either he or John will wake up and realize how great you are! :D
from vegasmommy :
UGH! I redid my computer... reformatted the harddrive and everything. So your password isn't saved on it anymore :( And, I wasn't smart enough to write it down first... LOL Can I have it again?
from heylee :
I think I heard the girls from Super Sweet 16 say it was Unwritten Law playing, but I am not 100% sure. My mouth just dropped when they said their Dad wouldn't pay over $100,000. I can't believe they even rented out Hard Rock just for a 16th birthday. I mean seriously, I think I got a "happy sweet 16" and some presents on my birthday. Definitely not my own personal hard rock extravaganza. I watched the previews for Laguna Beach when they showed the last episode. That blond girl looks like she's gonna be causing some trouble for Kristen. I can't wait! hah!
from frisky-girl :
Thanks for leaving me a comment on how you like my diary. That was very sweet of you. Glad to have you reading. :)
from heylee :
You aren't a loser for waiting for the Ashley Simpson show to come on. LOL! I watched her first show and I can't wait to see the new one. I can't seem to get away from reality shows at the moment. Oh hey...do you know what that sweet 16 show is about on MTV? I can't really tell from the commercials. Just about girls turning 16 and partying?... I was stoked to hear Laguna Beach was coming back for another season. There's gonna be some drama on that one!
from betchy :
YOU LOOK GORGE IN YOUR PICS SO YOU MUST BE A REAL STUNNER IN REAL LIFE. oooh caps lock off. i look terrible in pics. i dont look that great in real life either, but i look a bit better than i do in pictures. for some reason it is almost impossible to get a good pic of me. never mind. its so good that things are going well for you and Brandon, but i am still holding out hope for John! dont forget to post the halloween pics of Griffin!
from betchy :
you are just like a complete man magnet at the moment young lady!
from just-deal :
That sucks Griffin is in a cranky stage but it happens to the best of babies. The best way to keep Griffin from sleeping in your bed is to just keep making him sleep in his crib even if he cries because I used to sleep with my parents when I was little and didnt get out of their bed till I was 10 so beware! lol Anyway good luck its hard but hopefully if you have a day off you can have one or two sleepless nights and he will get better about sleeping alone
from aidawrites :
the funeral was very sad, but also beautiful. The case was extremely touching because the guys were so poor, the town they lived in (where the funeral was held) was so rundown, it really made me aware of how some people live even in this country, rats, kids playing in garbage, the works. There were about 600 people and camera crews everywhere. On a lighter note, I got to give an interview with a hot abc reporter ;) heehee
from alwaysaroura :
I just wanted to say that talking to you has really helped. I feel 10x better. Thanks for listening and giving me your unbiased opinion. I have a lot to think about and I hope that we can talk more as I try to get through this. Your friendship means the world to me and I just wanted to say thanks and that I miss you.
from betchy :
i have a whole page of translations under my extras. you should have look. and yes, i most definately think you are going to pull him. definatley.
from betchy :
hmmmmm, you and John are soooo going to hook up. i can just tell. do you like the way i use US expressions when i leave you notes? we would never say "hook up" over here, we would say "pulled" so rather than saying "Ali hooked up with John" i would say "Ali pulled John". god i'm a dork.
from classygirl83 :
The Real Estate class is like $300 I don't think that I plan on useing the liesence, but it will make me a well rounded person, and it will make me look like I have something going for me. I also want to buy houses and fix them up when I get older, and then sell them. So, that's why I'm going to get one. Plus I love to look at houses. I know that I'm crazy for wanting to do this, but I want to do it. So. IT's with my own money too. I don't know. I don't know how good I would be at web-design, and it's alot of money to spend and me not to be serious about it. I'm not ognna perposefully spend anymore of any ones money. I'm gonna work when I get a job, and I'm gonna pay for any kind of training or education that I might want to do. I hope taht you have a great day today.
from aidawrites :
Thanks for your kind words, im so out of it today...Its the kind of thing that you think happens to other people, but i guess once in a while these things hit home. I was just talking to the families, and they dont even have money to bury them. I offered to help them out, its the least i could do.
from just-deal :
I totaly agree about Pete BRady he is so hot. I think he has the cutest personality. I saw him without his shirt on and was like woah hello there lol.
from betchy :
i so meant to say red yesterday, and i have just read my note and realised that i sound really thick! yeah i am not a slut anymore. it used to be like someone only had to say to "you're pretty" and i would be dragging them off to bed. now i have gone the other way, and i'm too picky! one day i will strike the right balance i am sure x
from betchy :
i so meant to say red yesterday, and i have just read my note and realised that i sound really thick! yeah i am not a slut anymore. it used to be like someone only had to say to "you're pretty" and i would be dragging them off to bed. now i have gone the other way, and i'm too picky! one day i will strike the right balance i am sure x
from aidawrites :
I absolutely love my beemer. I got it last year pre-owned 2003 and its just gorgeous. I love the way it drives.Its not for everyone though, i guess it also depends in the series you get. I got it blue because i just couldnt imagine it in any other color. I think for your altima, black is really the best :) If you were a blonde I would say white, but youre a brunette. (brunettes freakin rock!)
from betchy :
i know i am naughty but i am nice with it! i promise! as for the guy that locked me in his room, he didnt actually do anything to me while i was in there he just wouldnt let me out! and he never explained why. it was all very strange. oh, and i definately think the black car. it screams sexy, and stands out more than the other 2. definately red!
from classygirl83 :
Hoow long do you think that it takes most people to find a job after being fired? A day? I'm just asking to find out what you think should've happend in my situation. I think that i've been trying. I mean, I can't make someone call me? Ican't make them hire me? I can't make them call me in for an interveiw. THe average time it takes a person to find a job is 6 months after they got fired. I am sorry that you feel the need to think that I'm not that great because I don't have a job right now. I mean. I'm looking? What more do you want me to do? I don't know why you are so hard on me, but I think that everyone on D-land notices that you're very hard on me. Why is that?
from cosmopolitn :
What a sad day, Jennifer and Brad :( I always thought they would have the most beautiful baby in the world (next to Griffin, of course)About the swimming suit isue-I thought the hotel was going to have an indoor, but it turns out they didn't, which is okay (for my self-esteem) and bc I forgot the swim suit anyway! Oh, thanks for the hairspray advice...I am going to go pick some up today..
from aidawrites :
OMG, Pamela is Fugly! HAHA! Yeah, i cant wait to hear what happens with the Brad/Angelina thing, i have a feeling i'll be buying a lot of US Weekly. Real life is def. more fun than fiction.
from aidawrites :
I think Angelina would have Brad's babies. She has said she wants lots of kids, and Brad has said the same thing. I think its wonderful to adopt, she's doing a great thing for that baby. But she she def start having babies with Brad, they would be sooooo beautiful. His eyes, her lips!
from soverycherry :
I just emailed you with the private entries info!
from sweet-cynic :
i was reading betchy's note to you below there and she pointed out something that i must say is right on. I know you want to get back to your own weight and i havent seen really telling pictures of your figure but your face really does look fuller and healthier in a good way. so i hope, on your quest to lose your baby weight, you don't lose ALL of it. :) now to the reason why i'm leaving a note. i don't think you'll realize how much that note you left me means to me even after i tell you. but thank you.. i'm not pmsing but your note really touched something and i just started crying. you really do amaze me with your strong spirit and most of all your generosity. you are something else and i just KNOW some SMART and lucky guy will not only capture your heart but will see you for all the great things that you are and make it his life mission to make you happy. thanks for the note.
from sweetone03 :
we sell those willow tree things at my work they are so cute.
from soverycherry :
Thanks for the Days update! I still can't get past the fact that Philip is Kyle from The Real World. He was such a tool on that season, my God. I wonder if Keri ever watches Days, haha. Has anything else happened between Marlena and Roman?? Why is Tony keeping them in the castle anyway? How stupid.
from betchy :
ok, i really think i may be falling in love with your son! he is just so cute! and i actually think you look better with a bit of weight on. you're not fat by any means, but you look really healthy and glowing! hey you dont need me to tell you you're gorgeous. not when you have guys running all the way to Maccy D's just to get you a drink!
from avalonte :
I just re-read my note I left for Betchy yesterday. I realised you might find it a bit offensive, but I hope you didn't! I didn't mean it that way. I'm not condemning your family. Like I said, I don't know the full situation in order to judge. Anyway, I just wanted to apologise in case it upset or annoyed you! x
from betchy :
i know whta you mean about liking guys that arent as good looking, but they just have SOMETHING. Jason and Wizz werent good looking, i would even go as far as to say they were ugly. but i was more in love with Jason than i have ever been with anyone else. it weird. i guess you cant help who you're attracted to.
from princesstosh :
Nope, girl. I mean, sure when you see the little kids it kind of freaks you out but I wasnt scared. I was really dissapointed in the whole thing.
from vegasmommy :
Oh, we've got EVERYTHING for Zack's age by Leap Frog LOL. The drum, the ball, the LittleTouch Leap Pad. Even a book thingy... and the Baby Tad doll. I'm not sure what it is about that brand that we've fallen in love with... LOL Maybe because Jason and I are frog addicts. When we first met, the first stuffed animal Jason ever gave me was this furry, lanky frog that would croak when you pressed his tummy. We've been on a frog trip since (7 years running now LOL). We're also fans of Baby Einstein. It worked so well when Zack was really little. He'd just stare at the screen and give Mommy 15 minutes of rest (and sometimes even a shower by myself! LOL). But, now, he shows no interest. :( In fact, the only thing that catches his eye is The Wiggles. So, how is Griffin? :) Getting cuter and cuter, I'm sure! Spoil him rotten! There's nothing wrong with making sure your child has the best of the best of the best!
from betchy :
happy new year Ali! i will catch up with all i have missed soon, i promise, but i just spent half the morning writing my entry so i wont have time today :( hope you had a good New Year, and i will talk to you soon. lots of love xxx
from jess1976 :
Hey there- hope you had a happy new year! Glad to hear that things are going well for you in your life. As for living alone, I was totally fine living on my own when I lived in my condo, but it seemed like I started to freak out a few months after I moved in with Dan. It may have something to do with the extra comfort level I feel when Dan is around. You and Griffin will be fine living on your own... it'll be a bit of an adjustment, but you'll soon become acustomed to your new lifestyle. Hope the new year is good to you!
from classygirl83 :
You are deffinatly right. I plan on seeing the movie sometime. I want to watch it with other people not just my self. I didn't really mean to say it was horrible,I meant to say that it would be really graphic, and gorey, but you are right. It's something that all Christains need to see. How was your New Year's? I hope that you have a great year this year!
from appleofureye :
Happy New Year!
from toxicsmile :
happy 2005!
from candoor :
happy new year :)
from vegasmommy :
Glad your Christmas went so well! And, congrats on the purse! I LOVE LV purses! I nearly picked one up last month but the pink Gucci kept catching my eye and I caved in and went for the pink one. And, screw the idea of getting a larger purse so I don't need a diaperbag anymore LOL I go for the cute little dressy one. Not smart, I know! Isn't Baby Einsten incredible? Zack isn't really into the DVDs but he really enjoys the toys. We went BE galore also... Oh, and I think this child has everything Leap Frog has to offer... If you haven't already, I recommend Leap Frog! It's really the only brand of toy Zack shows any interest in... The Discovery Ball is a MUST MUST MUST! :D
from betchy :
well well well, sounds like i am not the only one who got spoilt rotten for christmas! glad you had a good one, and that Griffin had a nice first christmas. i expect having Griffin made it extra special for you too. oh, and if you look like shit as you say (which i really doubt, you always look great), and John still wants to take you to lunch, he obviously really likes you. have a great New Year talk to you soon xxx
from aidawrites :
Hope you and Griffin had a wonderful Christmas. Don't forget to update us on Brandon. Go meet him already ;) oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005! Whoa, we are getting older fast! heehee
from lightupnight :
Thanks so much for the note! I'd love to share stories with you and I will for sure read into your thoughts! Have a Merry Christmas!!!!
from sweet-cynic :
thanks, love! merry christmas. enjoy and document the bejeezus out of your first christmas with little griffin. threw out this whole year i've seen you GROWN so much.. it's unbelievable the growth your character achieved and how much stronger you've become. you did good for yourself, my dear. merry christmas!
from xzorakx :
Hey Ali, Merry Christmas! Yeah, I haven't written much on here in forever. I updated a few times to announce that I was engaged, but that is pretty much it. (I have to admit, Brooke lured me over to livejournal) So it sounds like you have a beautiful baby boy! Major congrats! Have yourself a blessed Christmas. God sure gave us a nice holiday to celebrate, eh? Yeah. Take care, Matt
from betchy :
merry christmas my little sweetpea. i hope Griffin enjoys his first christmas, and i hope you enjoy your first christmas of being a mum. i am sure you will. lots of love to you and all your family. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
from musicnut :
Yes yes! Happy holidays!!! :)
from toxicsmile :
Merry Christmas!!!:)
from eggsaucted :
Have a great holiday yourself! I'm counting the minutes until I get out of work today! We only have to work a half day and I'm ready to go. Don't know if my advice is always the best, but hey I'm here.
from iamdana :
Ya know? That message totally made my day today. :D Thank you. And, Merry Christmas to you too darling. <3
from heylee :
Hahaha...Brandon isn't gonna know what hit him!!! I think you should go for it!!! He won't regret it. Hope you and Griffin and the rest of your family have a Merry Christmas and a safe Happy New Year!!!
from sweetone03 :
Hope you and Griffin have a merry christmas....
from betchy :
that entry about Griffin was so cute. i bet when you look back to how you felt when you found out you were pregnant its hard to believe huh? you're a terrific mum Ali. i always knew you would be. go back and have a look at my notes if you dont believe me! i am so glad your happy xxxx
from classygirl83 :
Hey, I just wanted to say that was a really good entry! I loved it. Aren't babies cute? Il ove it when I rock Luke to sleep. There is really no other feeling in the world. I bet being a mom is really awsome! I can't wait till I'm a mom. Have a great day!
from singlegirl :
I have yet to meet a man that I think looks good in hot pink:) Jeremy has a Brooks Brothers suit that he has worn once. The only time he has worn it, I accidentally burned a hole in it with my cigarette - oops. It's near the cuff at the bottom of his pants, so I'm hoping that it can be fixed. And yes, he is growing on my parents. My mom at least - my dad and I are not close, so I wouldn't expect him to be close to Jeremy. Scan more pictures of Griffin soon - please:)
from classygirl83 :
thanks for the note. I never leave it on 80 longer than a hour, just to worm my house up, then I put it back on a lower degrees. My mom pays for my elecric bill, but if it goes up higher than she is willing to pay. I pay for it.Thanks for the note. Have a good day.
from classygirl83 :
Thank you for your prayers. They really mean alot! I am glad that you got to talk to that lady, and that she made you feel better! You are doing the right thing. You're a great mom! Have a good weekend!
from appleofureye :
An absolute GREAT song. My friend and I heard it many times to and from Ft. Worth. Have a great week!
from heylee :
I know here in CA an EMT is basically a first responder and can't administer any drugs. They usually do basic first aid and transport to hospitals. Medics do whatever is necessary to save a person like administer drugs, intubate people, etc. Then they take them to the hospital. The stories Brian tells me are scary and hard to listen to, but I know he needs to talk about them for his own sanity and well being. About the firefighter balls, Brian has always been working, so I couldn't tell ya what they are like. LOL!
from heylee :
He was a firefighter/EMT for 2-1/2 years and then got accepted into medic school in July. It's really competitive in the fire service here, so being a medic/firefighter, you have a better selection of work and better pay. I was so relieved the jury recommended the death penalty for Scott too. I was glued to the office TV here a work when they announced it. It's just too bad it will take YEARS to actually give him the penalty.
from heylee :
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Rascal Flatts!!! Everytime I play that song in my car, it brings tears to my eyes. Keep us all updated on the new guy. Firemen are sooo hot!! I know from experience from my fiance!! haha!
from sweet-cynic :
they didnt let me comment on your comments thing. So here I go again. I had to leave during desperate housewives towards the end and totally missed the fact that the cops showed up at gabe's place. did carlos find out about the affair? and finally, i'm so proud of you for calling brandon and i'm glad it wasn't awkward. keep us updated on that!
from heylee :
Thanks for the password! I'm trying to get up to speed on your diary, hehe.
from aidawrites :
You are right, she was steph's friend. Now i remember that episode where they are in the school bathroom and she's trying to get Steph to smoke. Man, i loved that show. I know what you mean, watching it now i realize its not funny at all. How did Joey's "cut.it.out." ever make me laugh? I have no idea. But i cried when that show was canceled. I basically grew up watching it, that and Saved by the Bell. I think the reason I am attracted to cocky guys is because i worshiped Zach Morris since i was like 7. This diet is killing me already. I have a headache from the hunger pains, but everytime i think about food i just drink more of the juice. It helps. Jared just emailed me to ask me out for sushi tonight and i had to tell him no! this sucks! I hope I make it, i heard the first day is the hardest.
from aidawrites :
I think beer is carbonated, why do you need to know? Anyway, what you said to Brandon is what I always say to guys. Im very direct, if a guy tells me to call him i tell him i dont call guys, it just isnt me, im old fashioned. Hopefully he wont call you too much, when guys call me too much i loose interest. Isnt the new nanny from Desperate Housewives from Full House? I think she was DJ's bad influence friend, dont know if you used to watch that show when you were little.
from classygirl83 :
Hey thanks for the note. I really appericiate it. I am still looking for a job! You are right about the Christmas gift for the boy. I can't plan it. I was just dreaming I guess. My grandpa told me the same thing. Mcdonalds has interveiwes tomorow between 2 and 4 I might go to get an interveiw, but I don't really wanna work there, but a job is a job! I hope that you have a great week!
from aidawrites :
OMG I did not know MJ was in MMC. Weird. That show was like my religion when I was little. I actually auditioned for it, but they said they already had an ethnic girl chosen. Such racist crap. Anyway, the diet does seem hard, I bought the book last night, I'm really scared to do it, I dont know how im going to resist food because just today I tried buying a salad for lunch and ended up getting an Italian sub. Wish me luck! Have a great weekend!
from cosmopolitn :
Thanks for the note...Death is hard but I will keep in mind that we will all be together in the end, and that we should cherish the time we had and have left... Oh, and I already wrote on your page but you are Griffin are too cute and I had to write it again...
from betchy :
God Ali, the older that Griffin gets the more like you he is getting. he has your exact eyes. exactly. he is absolutley gorgeous, i cant believe he is 5 months old already. babies start to get really gorge at around 4 months i reckon. thats when their features start to define more and you can see who they look like. and he definatley looks like you. GORGEOUS!
from betchy :
it probably would cost an arm and a leg! i sent Cookie a card when she had Parker, and it cost £1.05 just for a card. hmmmm. oh and my thoughts on the Brandon/John situation? you feel less for John, so it would be harder to get hurt by him. but we all have to face our fears about things like that Ali. i know i am not one to talk, i am the scaredest of everyone, but i am also starting to get just a teensy bit lonely. dont be like me, and be alone for so long, you actually forget how to date x
from jess1976 :
Well it sounds like you're really on the fence with this situation. If you are really feeling that uncomfortable, then maybe you shouldn't call. It doesn't sound like your heart is completely into giving him a chance and maybe that is a sign. Maybe it's God's way of telling you that this relationship may not turn out right! But then again, I was really not into going out with Dan at first and blew him off for a little while and look at where we are now. Well, whatever you decide I'm sure it'll be what's best for you and Griffin. And remember, you are such a beautiful person inside and out that you will have NO problem meeting someone - you just need to make sure the timing is right! As for Ian, well, I think we all have one guy we dated that we feel is the one that got away. I do - except now, I know that although I loved him back in the day, I have recently found a love that is more solid, real and mature. We were so young when we dated (I dated him from the time I was 16-21 years old). I think there will always be a part of me that will remember him as my first true love and the for the times we shared, but as time goes on and you meet someone you fall in love with... those thoughts will become fewer and further in between.
from betchy :
Oh ali, dont rub it in! all i want for christmas is to see that film. it seriously hasnt been on here for like the last 8 years! and no-one ever remembers it when i mention it to them. it is so annoying. until everyone left me notes yesterday about it, i was seriously starting to think that i might have made it up in my head!
from jess1976 :
Don't drink any beers before you talk to him, it'll just make you sound like someone you are not and it could possibly turn him off. I know it's nerve wracking because you have never done this before... but what do you have to lose? The worst that can happen is that you guys don't talk anymore, which isn't that big of a deal because neither one of you have become emotionally involved with eachother yet. Don't wait too long either... otherwise sometimes when too much time passes, the relationship potential gets a black mark on it from the get go. Call him tonight, apologize for not calling sooner but explain you have had a busy week with work, Griffin and getting ready for Christmas. I promise after this first call, it will get easier. He made the first call, now the ball is in your court. Good luck!
from aidawrites :
I totally understand. I hang out with Jared even though I know I do not want anything serious with him. Its soooo much easier that way, its how we protect ourselves from getting hurt. I would hate to fall in love again and get destroyed again. I think thats what you are scared of to. And John is distracting and fun. Not serious and final. But when you meet someone who can be the one, even if you only suspect it, you have to explore to see whats there. How many times do we meet great guys who we actually want? maybe twice a lifetime? Because most of time we only want the assholes. You have to contact Brandon. Im telling you, I have a good feeling about this one!
from betchy :
phwoar! he's not half bad that dude is he? and lovey, i think all the things that you want are the kinds of things all us single girlies want. i'm pretty sick of singledom myself right now!
from appleofureye :
Hey-I honestly didn't think anyone read my diary besides Tosh, but I am glad there are others who can relate to my life. It has been pretty hectic, and I have definately had some scares-which have changed my life (for the better!!). Your son is beautiful, and I just want to say thank you for doing everything to raise him right. I am student teaching now, and so many of my students are from families who do not care about them at all-and it breaks my heart. P.S.--the firefighter is very nice looking!!! If you've read all my entries-you can tell I have not had luck with guys since May. I will have to write an entry about my latest drama.
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ Thanks for the note. I'm applying everywhere. So hopefully It will all work out soon.I don't think that I have a UTI but if it gets worse I'm definatly going to the doctor. I hope that you have a great day today! It's awsome that you have internet at work now! Yay!
from joecartoon :
I assume we're still talking about initials?? If so... hmmm.... Well, I've got the 'A' & the 'G'.... I hate to be repetitive, but I'm going to guess another 'A'. You seem more like a vowel girl to me as opposed to a consonant. My guess is A.A.G. I figure I've at least got a 1/26 chance!
from manda-d :
I don't know? But I can SO get into a good looking UPS man as well. And a cop too. So it must just be a uniform thing for me.
from aidawrites :
I do think you should call him soon. I personally dont like playing games anymore. The first call is the hardest and he already called you so its only right that you call him back. If you dont he is going to think you are not interested or you are playing games. Then again maybe I'm giving him too much credit. How old is he anyway? Thats touching that he accepts Griffin, thats gold, you need to keep this one around! Oh and I wanted to ask you something totally off the topic. Is Veronica from the RR/RW challange a lesbian now? she keeps wearing that shirt that says lesbian on it and i was dying to know cus thats just weird. yucky.
from jadedlife :
Hi - I dont update on diaryland anymore (ive moved to LJ) but I still read my friends list. You being one of them, I was wanting your user/pass pretty please?!? Email : [email protected]
from manda-d :
Yeah, I'm not crazy about Auburn. Their coach always looks so smug. It drives me insane. I thought TN might have it for a while too, they were so pumped up. That was some good football. I root for Bama first, but I root for any SEC team after that. I like keeping it in our conference. I personally think it's crap that Auburn doesn't get to play in the orange bowl, but that's just my opinion.
from jess1976 :
And by the way, what you are feeling IS normal. It's just like being set up on a blind date. Just remember, you don't have to like this person or anyone you go out with. If you don't like them, you can just tell them that it's not working out for you. You are not obligated to date the person and most people will understand, you may come across a loser or two who can't take no for an answer at first, but I can't say that I really ran across that myself more than once in the 3 months I tried online dating. Good luck!
from jess1976 :
Thanks for the note. As for being nervous about meeting Dan. Well, I have to say, I wasn't too nervous but that's because I had been doing the online dating thing for a few months and to be honest... I wasn't even really up to going out with him. I was so frustrated with my lack of luck with the online dating that I decided to cancel my membership, but match.com gave you an extra 2 weeks after you cancelled, kind of hoping I would change my mind and renew. Well, in those last 2 weeks, I was bored and searching around one day and found Dan. I decided to send him what they call a wink to let him know to check out my profile and that I was interested. Well, he e-mailed me back right away, we started talking and went out soon after, like 2 weeks later. I wasn't nervous because I was about to give up and figured it would probably turn out like the rest. Needless to say it didn't and I couldn't be happier. My advice would to be take it slow and be cautious. Meet at a common meeting place so that you can drive separate and leave when you want to. You also don't want them to know where you live right away. Don't be too trusting, but don't have your guard totally up either. Just be yourself and have fun with it.
from aidawrites :
First of all thats awesome that he finally called. How did it go? did you guys make plans? update please! I've noticed that a lot of good looking guys have funny voices. I'm usually turned off by a bad voice too, but thats just because Im too damn picky to accept that humans arent perfect. And about John, he sounds like a fun little challenge, oh i miss crushes, they are so much fun. Why is it that when guys arent all over us, we gain even more interest? Good luck on your diet! I havent started mine yet, im thinking of waiting till 05.
from betchy :
awww dont worry. it wouldnt be too bad being from Australia. i do like Neighbours....
from bethany9 :
Josh Hartnett... mmmm... mommy like. So tall! That's a tree I wouldn't mind climbin'!
from betchy :
hey chickie, thanks for the new comment, its really lovely and makes me feel special. one thing though, I'm from England not Australia! i could pretend though, "g'day Ali, wanna throw some shrimps on the barbie?" hope you're ok and that Griffin is still gorge x
from joecartoon :
Okay, so I went from hot (twice) to gorgeous, so I think that's an upgrade... I'm not smart enough to be certain about it though. Also, I tried to add you to my IM lists, so let me know if it came through...
from joecartoon :
Well darlin', I've never added you to my faves because you are a locked diary, and it annoys me when I go to someone else's favorites, they rave about how great someone is, and then, BAM!, locked diary... but, if there was ever a person to make an exception for, I suppose it's you. So enjoy. You made it!
from bethany9 :
Yeah Seal is pretty damn heinous! Didn't know they were dating...
from betchy :
Thanks for the note hon, and thanks for saying i am pretty *blushes* i am glad you think my sisters are too, because i think they are the most gorgeous girls on the planet! Griffin is definately getting cuter as he is getting a little older x you can really see how adorable he is now he has lost that newborn look, and now he looks like a little baby boy, am i making sense? well he is lush thats what i mean x
from betchy :
hey girl! hows things? the new piccies of Griffin are just lush! you have one yummy baby there young lady. i am glad things are going well for you, i miss you when you dont update as much. and i miss getting notes from you every day. i guess thats what comes of being a mum, you dont get as much time. mind you if i had a baby that was that gorgey i would want to spend all day just looking at him! speak soon lovey, beckz x
from classygirl83 :
Hey, thanks for adding me. That comment was really sweet. Griffin is adorible! Sooo cute! It sounds like your doing good. I think that your beautiful! Have a great weekend and go UT!
from classygirl83 :
I think that if I actually had that "dream" life that I wouldn't be happy at all. When I work it makes me feel like I contribute to society. I think that I will have to work, because it makes me feel way to lazy and lame to just sit at home and do absolutly nothing. That was just a dream entry. I hope that your thanksgiving is going great! Give Griffin a big hug! Have a great weekend!
from bethany9 :
ALI! I forgot your password!!!! Can I get it again???
from saucy99 :
Griffin is getting cuter and cuter! Loved the santa pic!
from cosmopolitn :
Just read your comment! I would be doing ase management for the soldiers aka counseling...Something that would really interest me! I hope I at least get a shot at it!
from classygirl83 :
Griffin is soooooooooooo adorible!!!!! I like it when you update. I miss it when you don't. i'm glad that your doing well! I'm gonna start working out also! Have a great week!
from manda-d :
It is nice having kids that our active in sports... though it can get very time consuming and tedious. BUT, I wouldn't have it any other way!
from starlight42 :
Haven't heard from Jamie about the baby. So I'm assuming she didn't have the baby or else she would have called. She's probably on bed rest. On her first baby Hannah- she's doing great now! She's 1 1/2. Her first year was tough though, she was in & out of the hospital a few times. She is allergic to a lot of stuff, her stomache is very sensative.
from vegasmommy :
Yeah, I guess it's because we didn't get huge during it. But, the fact that people look at me and think this body is normal is just... heart wrenching. I look at my old pics and I'm like "where did that flat, totally mark free tummy go??" ::sniffles:: I'm sooo happy he was found guilty too BTW! I saw his interview on A&E last month and I was shocked that they didn't just lock him up and throw away the key already... His voice, his looks, his personality... so stuck up... ugh. I knew he was guilty.
from classygirl83 :
Insane. I hope that he gets the death penilty. It should work I promise that's the right words. I guess I'll just unlock my diary. Have a good night!
from classygirl83 :
So, I asked my mom about Scott peterson and that's insanely assinine. I really think that man was fucked up in the head. I mean how can you just kill your WIFE because you had an affair. I would hate to be his affair lady, my mom said that she told on him. I couldn't imagine datieng a guy only to find out he's a murder. SICK. I am with you that's just way to fucked up to imagine. I think I got my story straight. If not. Sorry.
from classygirl83 :
hey my un is love and the pw is happiness it hsould work. Love, happiness. I heard that scott peterson got whatever last night too. I don't know the whole story as to what happend though, I'm gonna go ask my mom though right now. I hope that your doing good! I'm sorry that you didn't like your pictures. I'm sure that the y look great though. What'd you end up wearing? Well, I'm gonna go, oh and your diary is definatly not boring!
from vegasmommy :
Congrats on first full night of sleep! Isn't that incredible? - - - I constantly get comments like "He's only 6 months? You look GREAT!" Yeah yeah, they're just trying to make the chubby woman feel better... ::sniffles::
from vegasmommy :
I completely understand the post pregnant body blues. I'm doing the 3 dairy a day and no soda diet right now and I've lost 3lbs since last Saturday (a week). But, what the scale says doesn't bother me! I don't LOOK 3lbs skinnier! Ugh. If you find a trick to solve these yucky blues, please share!
from vegasmommy :
Mmmm I LOVE melted peanut butter! We have one of those sandwich makers that makes sandwich pockets... I put peanutbutter and jelly in them all the time! It's really good (but incredibly messy)
from classygirl83 :
It amazes me how this country is operated at times. You would think that child molesters and sexual preditors would get alot more time than drug dealers. I wonder who made up these redicoulous laws? I mean seriously, the drug people are essentally only hurting themselves , but child molesters and sexual preditors are hurting alot of other people. I don't know. I will never understand. I hop that you have a great weekend at least!
from vegasmommy :
About your entry... I know how you feel. I used to feel so skinny and now I feel big in different areas all over my body. My thighs feel bigger, my arms feel bigger. I'm in a smaller size than before I got pregnant on my tummy... but everything else seems bigger. And, a smaller tummy with a fatter butt, is NOT attractive. I know how you feel. Having a baby is wonderful, but why can't our bodies just look normal again?
from vegasmommy :
Oh, I know! WTH? They think they can just come up to you and tell you how to raise your child? They don't know crap about my son. If they aren't around my son as much as I am, what gives them the right to think they know more about him? Ugh. I've had some people criticize me for letting Zack sleep with him right as they're handing their 3-year-old a bottle. Now, do I say something? No. Do I think they're totally wrong for doing that? Yes. But, who am I to tell them how to parent and vice versa?
from jess1976 :
Don't let your weight get you too down. You are a nice and caring person who has a big heart and a lot to offer. You WILL meet someone someday! Just because you have Griffin doesn't mean that you will never meet anyone. There are plenty of guys out there who will not be bothered by the fact that you have a son. Think positive and things will fall into place as they should. I am a firm believer that God has our lives already mapped out for us, we just have to follow along the path and take things as they come - everything will work out!
from classygirl83 :
oh yeah, I forgot to say something. I'm sorry for makeing you mad. I'm glad that I didn't hurt your feelings though.
from classygirl83 :
Hey~ I think that your beautiful, you have the most gerougous smile and your just pretty. I'm sure that everyone from diaryland agrees with me. I'm not mad either. I guess it did sting alittle, but it's the truth, and the truth hurts sometimes. Actually all the time. I'm sure that you will find the man of your dreams one day. Don't think that just because you have Griffin that you will not find a man. It's not true. You will find the prince charming that you always wanted. I went to the doctor yesterday and I got on lexapro, and I've got an appointment to go to councling on tuesday. So I'm seeking help. I'm sure that Tosha gave you my un and my pw but if she didn't it's love, happiness. I hope that your doing good. Have a great rest of the week and a good weekend!
from betchy :
hey you, are you going to give me your password or what?
from vegasmommy :
11/9 - I know exactly how you felt! I was so worried Kerry was going to win. But, I respect him deeply for being man enough to concede when the time called for it as well. I don't like the man, but I respect that judgment call. How are things? How's Griffin! I bet he's getting big!
from alwaysaroura :
Oh Ali. Some people are such drama queens. It sucks to deal with them, doesn't it? Remember Tiffy at work? She was just like that. Seemed to always complain about nothing. It's annoying but thank God it's them and not you living that kind of life. You have amazed me since you had Griffin. You haven't complained once and I respect that about you. I know that you love him more than anything in the world and that is an awesome thing. I'm sorry that things aren't right with you and Ingrid. I'm sure she knows that sisters say things about each other sometimes that they don't necessarily mean. I can't wait to see you. Come to GA soon. We could go to Hotlanta and shop together or we could just hang out. You haven't seen my new home. And Taylor and I would love to see that baby of yours so call me or email me. Hell maybe we'll drive up to Pigeon Forge for some holiday shopping. I'll let you know!
from sweetone03 :
I was wondering what happened, I had been trying to read your diary for awhile than my computer got 14 viruses so I thought might be the cause of not being able to read your diary but now I see its the password has been changed. I would IM you but it always shows you as busy and stuff. But I would like your new password if you dont mind. I miss reading your diary.
from girlygirl83 :
Ali, how about not saying anything if you don't anything nice to say. I'm tired of you always bitching at me. Yeah I know I fucked up that's why It hurts so bad. I mean come on. You have to knkow I'm smarter than to blame it on publix. I think that no one bitched at you when you weren't going through the easiest things. i was always supportive. I mean whatever though, just don't leave me notes anymroe . I am sick of you being rude bye.
from vegasmommy :
Ack! Can't read you? Hope you're doing okay! Hope you and the little man had a great Halloween! This is Kissssy BTW! I have a new diary.
from betchy :
miss ali, i am most upset i havent got your password! i have kept trying to get in thinking it was my computer and then realised its not just me! [email protected] thank you hope you are ok mwah!
from opalanne :
I've missed reading you...haven't been able to get into your journal for a week or so now. Hope everything is going alright.
from cosmopolitn :
Hey! I was just wondering what you were dressing Griffin as for Halloween...There better be some pictures! Have a great weekend...
from spoildangelz :
Hey! Just found out you changed your password! Can't wait to find out what's going on with you...please send it when you can - [email protected] Thanks! :-)
from theshakedown :
yellow? new pw plz.
from stillsingle :
Hey, you changed your password! Please send it when you've got time :)
from bethany9 :
yeah new password? i was feeling very left out!
from rienoupas :
me too! me too! [email protected]
from yellowrosetx :
Can I have your new password?
from r-y-r :
Seems like I am not the only one who cant get in, I would love the new password
from cosmopolitn :
What's up? I can't get in either! That condo thing sounds awesome and I am sure you are ready to get on your own again...Oh and I have only been to Rumrunners...How is the Wooden Nickel? I went home recently and as I was driving through Tennessee I though about ya! Well get your diary fixed okay? Oh, and I FINALLY updated and I promise I will be better... :)
from starlight42 :
Ok...looks like I'm not the only one who can't get in :(
from soverycherry :
I can't get in! I can't get in! Help!
from manda-d :
Yeah, what she said... I can't get in either :(
from sweet-cynic :
did you change you password?
from manda-d :
Well, I am a die hard Bama fan... so I hope exactly the opposite! LOL!
from soverycherry :
I have an awful feeling he's going to be late. And also, huge. Ugggh. I am SO OVER THIS PART, it's not even funny. Anyway, I have everything ready; everything is all set up, I have my bag packed, I'm pre-registered at the hospital... now all I need is him and we'll be all set!!
from soverycherry :
You know I've been watching BOtS2! It's my sister that loves Frank, but that's okay because I love Big Ran and he's there too. And Dan! For some reason I think he's totally hot with his salt & pepper hair! I just wish Dave was there - that'd make it the prettiest challenge ever. Sigh. Anyway, I'm so glad things are working out with your job - I hope the condo thing works out too; it sounds great. Oh, and I have twelve days until my due date, but I have a horrible feeling I'm going to go over and I don't know why. I'll die if that happens, I really will!
from manda-d :
My hubby went to the Ole Miss/TN game Saturday. He said it was a very exciting game, he is a big UT fan too! Glad your new job is going well :-)
from betchy :
hey ali, long time no speak, sorry that is probably my fault! i like the new font on your layout, it makes it easier to read! hope you and that gorgeous little man are ok (i mean griffin), talk to you soon x
from starlight42 :
I think battle of the sexes is going to be good. Wow- lots of hook-ups!! You'd think they'd get tired of dating from the same pool of people. It's fun to see cast members from season's past. It sucks sometimes though, because it's a lot of the same people over & over. I wish Veronica would just stop. They do have a decent mix though this time. It's cool to see people like Cynthia, who's now a mother. It's like watching them grow up. Damn, that competition looked tough. Should be a good season.
from mikamw710 :
i know just want you mean. i like diary. maybe you can check mine out to actually look at. I know i am alot younger then you but since your older you could proly give me better advice. like....HOW TO GET MY EX BOYFRIEND BACK -LOL- sign my g-book insead of my notes. ♥ m.wilson
from girlygirl83 :
I just wanted to tell you that your cute! I liked your entry today:)
from sweetone03 :
Your entry tonight kinda made me sad. The death talk isnt what made me sad. Death is something I dont worry about because I dont have children. But when you got to talking about the guy you want to marry that got me. It made me tear up. I dont get myself. When I am in a relationship I dont want to be in one and when I dont have one I want one. I guess I havent met the right guy yet to make all that right. The guy you talked about would be the perfect guy. But your entry really make me think.
from spoildangelz :
Thanks for the note. Bryan was the one who picked the name Cadence and I thought it was cute...and then I picked Elizabeth for the middle name. Anyway, I hope you're right about time passing by a little faster. I'm ready to have this baby and get my old body back - I miss having a waist line! :-) Anyway, I haven't been on AIM because there are a few people on there that I don't really feel like talking to right now. I have gotten on a couple of times, though...and both times you were away. I'll probably start getting on it more often...oh, and I also get on Yahoo Messenger sometimes. Put me on your buddy list - it's Angelz_a. Talk to you soon, and good luck tomorrow with your new job!
from myownjourney :
Thanks for the note. Good to see more Bush supporters and Southerners around. :)
from mikamw710 :
i am glad to see someone elts on this computer that is for bush... what kerry wants to do is never gonna work he should lesson to the pres. i bush should know what he is talking about he has accutialy been in office to know
from bledgirlblue :
Thank you for the WONDERFUL note. I really appreciate it. I haven't really gotten any "hate mail" per say, since I've "come out" with the diaryland community... but I wish there were more supporters out there. I'm a conserve girl living in a commie world... ;) haha. really, thanks for taking the time to leave me that note. I really, really, appreciate it. have a great day! :)
from sweetone03 :
Griffin is getting so big. He is such a little cutie. I love what he as wearing in his swing. He looks alot like you.
from spoildangelz :
Griffin is just the cutest! And he is getting bigger so quickly....just looking at his pictures makes me wish time would fly by faster and Cadence would be here already! Good luck with your new job! I'm sure you'll do really well.
from gracie8423 :
i noticed your note about locking your diary, think it's possible that i could read? sounds interesting. get back to me...thanks :)
from spoildangelz :
Congratulations!!! I'm really happy that things are working out so well with you. I'm sure you and Griffin will be fine. Don't worry so much! :-)
from yellowrosetx :
Good Luck with the new job! Let's pray that I find one soon! I'll say a prayer of comfort for you and Griffin while you are working and he is at daycare! Take Care girlie!
from silverscorp :
Congratulations on the job!!!!!
from yellowrosetx :
Thanks for the sweet note Ali! Have a good night!
from yellowrosetx :
I don't plan on having an affair! He's just a great friend and it's just nice to have someone notice me for a change and appreciate all that I have to offer. It's really lonely right now with J! It's strange to live with someone, yet feel so alone! I don't know if that makes sense? There are times I feel so inadequate...
from girlygirl83 :
Hey~ Yeah, I suppose that you are right. I do just need to represent my self better. I guess I'm not really good at that in my diary as well. I just try to be honest in my diary. OH well. That's awsoem about daycare! I'm glad that all worked out. God does provide. Yay. I will still keep on praying about your job. That would suck if she didn't give it to you. What kind of job is it? You should tell her that your really counting on haveing it. I hope that you have a great day today. Oh and your weekend sounded really fun! I'm sure that guy will call you. GUess what I got an e-mail from some guy off of match.com, but I couldn't e-mail him back, cause I'm not a paid member. Oh well. He left his number but I'm not gonna call him. Oh well. He was cute. I hope that you have a great week.
from sweet-cynic :
i really like your note. in fact, next time im at a computer (im about to go take yet another test and then go home) im gonna cut and paste it into my entry. you dont mind do you? i dont know if i commented on your last entry but i must say.. again.. and again you're absolutely beautiful. oh! and your note inspired me to reccommend "5 people you meet in heaven" if you haven't read it yet. read it.. you'll love it. it's notpreachy.. it's a novel. some people get turned off by the title.
from silverscorp :
Hey, I know it's confusing for those that don't know me personally to know my living arrangements. Tim's parents bought this house and are renting it out to him and I. They actually live in south Florida. They're both retired so they travel alot, mainly here. I've always lived on my own but Tim convinced me that we would save so much more renting from his parents, but it's been a nightmare since I've moved in. His parents are constantly coming up, so we really haven't had anytime to be together. Plus it irks me because I'm not 18 just moving out of my parents house. And they treat us like we're just out of high school, being on our own for the first time. I've never had issues with other families like I've had with them, and I know it's because we're extremely different and Sandy (Tim's mom) cannot let go of her sons, one is 23 the other 29. She does all this to her oldest son's wife as well. Anyway so that's kinda the explanation on the living arrangements.
from kissssy :
oh, and another thing... (lol I'm gonna fill your note box)... you know those little finger puppet like rubber gum toothbrushes?? They're like $2.97 for a toothbrush and a orajel toothpaste... Put that on your finger and let him chew on it. It doesn't hurt you and it reeeally helps him. Just a suggestion!
from kissssy :
He could be teething. Zack started at 9 weeks. The drool... the crying... the gumming everything. It takes a long time for those little teeth to surface. His just did this past week... 2 little ones are up on the bottom front. He's so handsome with them!! My secret is teething tablets from Walmart's pharmacy. Ask for them. They dissolve in his mouth so he can't choke and they're unmedicated unlike orajel (which makes him cry harder because it tastes so damn bad)...
from kissssy :
You 2 look soooooo good together! Ali, you're glowing! I love seeing happy moms with pride in their eyes around their children! Thanks for the bday wish. It's so strange you can remember smells... I can't remember much about anything LOL.
from betchy :
griffin is absolutely gorgeous, but its no wonder with a mum who looks as good as you!
from girlygirl83 :
Ali, I think that your a really smart, beautiful girl. I also think that Ian misses you just as much as you miss him. If he didnt' he wouldn't of called all summer long ya know? Maybe you should just call or e-mail him. It couldn't hurt ya know? I think that your wonderful though, and I'm sure that he does too. If for nothing else, at least you will have some type of closure that way. I hope that you have a great weekend!
from betchy :
oh honey, i really feel for you. i know what its like (did you read my entry about julien?), and it is hard. its so hard but even worse is the wondering of what they would do if you did call them. will they be pleased to hear from you or will they hang up? i know its hard, but you have to try and not think about him. thats why i left it so long to write about julien. i'm thinking of you hon x
from girlygirl83 :
Yay! Your weekend sounded really fun! I'm glad that you had a really good weekend and that Jolen and her guy are really cute together. I'm neverous about dateing too. Ithink that dateing in general is really rather stressful, but thats just me. It's not if your just dateing one guy and he's into you and vise versa. But yeah, I'm really scared to date too. I thought taht those stickers were really cute too! Or the saying! I heard that game was crazy! I'm glad that yall won though! I'm also glad that Church wasn't that awkard! That's really good. I hope that you have a great week!
from sweet-cynic :
patiently waiting for an update. saw the UT (tennessee) game this past weekend and thought of you. congrats... i dont think i remembered to answer your question about football over here.. UT (texas) is a big big football school. i dont follow it as well as i should but i asked doug about it haha he walked on for them. we're sadly only number 6 this year, but that's still good right? supposedly we're gonna have a bad year with all our good players in the nfl/graduated. im just spitting out what people tell me. i think i've been to maybe 5 football games at best.
from starlight42 :
Hey, no problem. I actually didn't notice that you didn't see I was engaged. I've been so busy too! Ya, there will probably be lots of entries asking for advice or help. Right now, I just want to find a nice dress, but inexpensive. I just don't want to spend a ton on something I wear once- but I also want one I love and one I look great in! Thanks for the congrats!
from girlygirl83 :
I took a shower in the morning, then I had to take one after I went swimming, and then before I went to bed. I do take alot of showers. I just really like showers I guess. I don't take 3 useally though. Just yesterday. I didn't watch the game, but I heard that your team won. I'm really glad. Did you have fun? Did Ingrid have a good B-day? Did you get to wear your outfit? Well, I hope that you have a great night tonight!!!!
from kris-tee :
Hey, I miss you!!!! I don't update lately. I am terrible. Things are just so crazy! I just read your diary and updated myself with what's been going on with you, I swear, you remind me of myself so much sometimes. I think it was either Rhena or Renee, about the comment "end up like that"... OMG Ali, I would have killed her if I were you. It would have taken everything in my body to not say, what the fuck do you mean by THAT??? People have NO CLUE what a joy a children are. None at all. You know, I was thinking the other day, no WONDER people get abortions, so many people make motherhood sound like it's SO hard and it's almost impossible to do. Thats bullshit. It's the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your entire life. I feel like my life now has meaning. I wish we lived closer. We would have so much fun hanging out together. I am going to update more tomorrow in my diary. Miss you! Oh, and I am going to give you the websiet to see pictures in your email.
from sweetone03 :
I wasnt upset or mad at you. I thought you were with me. I dont want that from anyone at diaryland. I have some of the sweetest people here. You seem like a great mother and your baby is soooooooooo cute. I have much respect for you. Losing my baby opened my eyes to alot of things I never thought about much. I believed but I wasnt sure. After I lost my baby I knew God wanted me to do something else. So now I am trying to do all I can to get things in order. Diaryland has helped me alot throughout my "new" life. And the people I have met through diaryland. Losing my baby hurt me more than anything ever has before. For the longest time all I could do was sit and cry. I look at people who have babies and I know its hard and alot of work but I get jealous. I wanted that baby more than I ever wanted anything before. I would done anything possible to give that baby what it needed. But what happened for a reason. I loved that baby so much even though it was only 3 months I knew the whole time I knew after the first month. I would spend hours talking to my stomach at night even though I knew my baby wouldnt hear me. Than when I saw the dr and he told me my baby was dead a piece of me died too. The night before my D&C I thought I felt the baby move, I know he didnt. That really messed me up. I told the dr the next morning when I got to the hospital but there was still no heart beat. I thought I was losing my mind. I just hope one day I can have kids and give them the life they deserve. But anyways thanks for the last note. And I enjoy reading your dairy as well. In one of your entries you said Griffins dad hadnt seen him in so long my niece her dad did the same thing he didnt see her for the first 2 years, then on her 2nd bday he showed up. Now my sister and him are together and he has been there ever since. I hope everything works out the way you want it though. Children are better off without an unfit parent. Griffin has a great mom and his dad is the one missing out.
from sweetone03 :
I wasnt upset or mad at you. I thought you were with me. I dont want that from anyone at diaryland. I have some of the sweetest people here. You seem like a great mother and your baby is soooooooooo cute. I have much respect for you. Losing my baby opened my eyes to alot of things I never thought about much. I believed but I wasnt sure. After I lost my baby I knew God wanted me to do something else. So now I am trying to do all I can to get things in order. Diaryland has helped me alot throughout my "new" life. And the people I have met through diaryland. Losing my baby hurt me more than anything ever has before. For the longest time all I could do was sit and cry. I look at people who have babies and I know its hard and alot of work but I get jealous. I wanted that baby more than I ever wanted anything before. I would done anything possible to give that baby what it needed. But what happened for a reason. I loved that baby so much even though it was only 3 months I knew the whole time I knew after the first month. I would spend hours talking to my stomach at night even though I knew my baby wouldnt hear me. Than when I saw the dr and he told me my baby was dead a piece of me died too. The night before my D&C I thought I felt the baby move, I know he didnt. That really messed me up. I told the dr the next morning when I got to the hospital but there was still no heart beat. I thought I was losing my mind. I just hope one day I can have kids and give them the life they deserve. But anyways thanks for the last note. And I enjoy reading your dairy as well. In one of your entries you said Griffins dad hadnt seen him in so long my niece her dad did the same thing he didnt see her for the first 2 years, then on her 2nd bday he showed up. Now my sister and him are together and he has been there ever since. I hope everything works out the way you want it though. Children are better off without an unfit parent. Griffin has a great mom and his dad is the one missing out.
from sweetone03 :
I never once said anything about a single mother being a slut. I actually have alot of respect for single mothers. I cant call someone who got pregnant before being married a slut because I was pregnant at 17 and not married I was going to be a single mother. I think single mothers are some of the strongest women out there. To me a slut is someone who gets pregnant and because they dont want to grow they have an abortion. When I wrote about that I was thinking of a girl I know, she has had 9 abortions, because she didnt want to grow up and she didnt want to stop doing drugs. She was a dope whore and if she would have just used protection she wouldnt have gotten pregnant and killed all those innocent babies. You took my entry completely wrong. I would never call you or any other single mother a slut just because they are a single mother. Since I have been reading your diary I have thought you were a sweet person and a good person.
from betchy :
trisha doesnt know about my problems so i dont think she stole my name to honour me, i think she heard me say it and was too damn lazy to find her own name!!!
from betchy :
remember when you were pregnant with griffin and i told you that if i ever had a little girl i would call her madison elizabeth? and i said that maddie was my favourite name? my friend trisha had a baby girl last week and guess what she called her? MADISON! i am beyond annoyed! i know im never gonna have babies, but you shouldnt steal peoples names should you? i love that name and i am really annoyed with her. thats been my favourite name for years. am i stupid to be annoyed about it do you think?
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I'm glad that you had fun in KY!!!! Yay. I think that was really rude of rhena. I mean she should be alot more supportive. I don't like her and I don't even know her. I hope that you have fun this weekend! I hope that UT wins too! haha. I don't really care about the Gators that much and it sounds like you guys are planning to have a ton of fun!!! I hope that you have a great week.
from girlygirl83 :
Thanks for the notes. I'm NOT going to lie and say that the two notes taht you wrote me didn't bother me. I'm not gonna lie. They did make me cry alot. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that I appoled you. You know what though? I'm not perfect. It doesn't change the fact that I feel guilty as anything and that if I could go cahnge that time I would. At least I didn't let it go far. Hell, I didn't even make out with him. Yeah, it is fucked up that I got turned on. I said that in that entry though. I'm sorry that you think that your better than me. I am sure you are. I don't want to fight with you though. You have alot on the ball, and I don't. Its' that simple. I wish I could pay for things, but I'm a college student. I don't own the money. I wish I did though. I hope that you have a great weekend though! Thanks for careing about me.
from singlegirl :
Wow- he's adorable. He looks like you too. From the pictures, it looks like he has your mouth and smile. Sounds like both of you are doing great. I'm so glad Mike and his family are leaving you alone so far. Post more soon:)
from betchy :
awww griffin is soooo tiny and lush! i just want to pick him off the page and cuddle him!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey~~ Griffin is sooo cute. I am glad that Mike hasn't called you or anything. I hope that continues. I'm sure that when you meet the man of your dreams that he will love Griffin just as much as he loves you. I'm sure that Griffin will take his heart away and melt it. I am sure of that. I hope that your doing good. Havea great week!
from preg-nancy :
Hi! Thanks so much for your note. Most parents are unable to stay at home nowadays; it's not even definite that I'll be able to do so either. Indeed, most of the women I talk to can't imagine being a stay at home mom. Perhaps this feeling changes though once you're actually holding your baby? Raising children is without a doubt a confusing process. I suppose it doesn't get any easier - we will probably question our decisions and actions for the rest of our lives but hopefully we'll gain more confidence and we see our children grow. Just know that you're not the only one facing these sort of doubts.
from silverscorp :
Hi girl, thanks for the kind words. I was sure other women have gone through what I'm feeling right now about what-if's and what-not's. From reading your notes and profile, I can see we have much in common as well. I'd love to read your diary and get to know you so send me your password if you want. Thanks again, it's always nice to make another friend.
from betchy :
glad you are having a good time girly!! its nice that you ae enjoying your life as a mummy so much! i expect you are ecstatic that you havent heard from mike in so long! its all good. anyway honey leave me a note soon ok, take care, and try and post some more pics of your gorgeous boy soon x
from manda-d :
Ali! I can't get in... I saved your username and password on my old PC. Pretty please send it to me again? [email protected]
from cosmopolitn :
Well I have seen the outside of the apartment online, but not the inside...I just hope it isn't ugly...I hate living in ugly apartments! Did you move back to Tennessee when you had Griffin?
from girlygirl83 :
Yay! I'm glad that you and Griffin are doing well. I'm also glad that Mike hasn't bothered you any time soon. I hope that youre doing good. Lerner has good pants now huh? That's awsome, I'm going shopping soon! Well, my class is over so I've gotta go, but those guys are hot, and yummy. I also like the Bush twins. They do have good taste. I can't beleive that Kerry's daughter wore that!! I wonder what her dad thought? Well, I've gottta go people are leaveing now. I hope taht your doing well! Have a good Labor Day weekend!
from cosmopolitn :
I can't wait to go to Ace's bar...Ryan said it was so much fun... I am getting a 1 bedroom at Hunter's Bluff in Savannah (Montgomery Crossroad is the street)...No roommates though! (I think I may have had my fair share of those)...Do you know anything about those apts.? I haven't even seen mine yet (due to the whole distance thing) and Ryan hasn't got a chance to see it either...I hope it is in a safe place...I know there is a YMCA by it, 2 malls and a library so I think it should be ok! Let me know what ya think... :)
from cosmopolitn :
I just spent my entire morning reading your diary from when you found out you were pregnant...It makes me wish I knew you then so I could have supported you! Oh well though, I know you now and I am so happy for you and Griffin...What a cute name, I have never heard it! Anyway, just to let you know I will be reading your diary religously and I am so happy you are letting me...I think you are a wonderful and strong woman and you sound like so much fun... I hope you both are doing well... Keep in touch...
from girlygirl83 :
Those guys are cute! Sorry, I haven't left you a ntoe sooner, I've been really busy. I'm glad that you and Griffin are doing well! I miss reading you all the time, and getting notes from you! I hope that your doing well. I'll talk to you soon hopefully! Oh, yeah, I'm glad that Mikes' leaveing you alone also!
from manda-d :
Ali, I had your password saved on my old PC. Could you send it to me again, please? [email protected]
from sweet-cynic :
thank you, hun. i totally feel you about phelps looking like a dork but oh so dateable at the same time. and i'm sorry about ian... i understand though. you relive the memories and they're such happy memories but it makes your heart burn and ache because it's all in the past. so two sided. who knows though right? maybe you two will become great friends in the future and something will come of it. does he know about griffin?
from kissssy :
He's been sleeping through the night since he was a few weeks old. BUT. He sleeps in bed with us, which is why he does. I just roll over and breastfeed him if he fusses and he's out again in three minutes. When I put him in his crib, he's up by 4 crying for me. It's just easier to keep him in bed with me. The cry it out method works occasionally, but once the cries have grown to what I call Zacky's "drama cries," there's no way the baby will fall asleep on his own. He's too upset. The best thing I've learned for crying it out is to put him in the swing, which rocks him to sleep or even in the carseat ontop the running dryer (until they move enough to shove themselves off). Orrrr, turn the lights off, the sounds off and rock him to sleep. Another thing we do for naptime during the day, is I lay down with him in bed, he dozes off and then I stick him in his crib. The books are wrong. They'll always be wrong. Griffin doesn't read so he doesn't know what he's SUPPOSED to do ;)Hehe. Babies are so different, I'm surprised these doctors feel they know everything about them. For Halloween, I'd love to find a piglet costume (since that's what we call him) that's not too girly pink. But, we might cave in with a Tigger or a bumblebee :)
from kissssy :
Girl, I hope and pray your little prince was BORN with teeth. Teething is the worst. WORST. W O R S T thing I have EVER been through in my entire life. Nothing works. Those little pricey teethers. Those things aren't worth the plastic they come in! I did learn a cool wet washrag in the freezer for 2 minutes works. If you want to refreeze it every 5 minutes. And. Ugh. Lol... Me Time is very much needed lately. Hope things are well with you! Your baby is sooo beautiful. Of course, you already knew that. And, soooo tiny. Zack is 3 1/2 months now and he just grew out of 3-6 month clothes! The little bratling is in 6-9 already! Ugh! And size THREE diapers! Oh dear. He's not far from toddler sizes... You look great btw! Happy Saturday.
from cosmopolitn :
I think we absolutely have so much in common..Let me know what ya think!
from girlygirl83 :
Griffin is absolutly breath takenly grougous! He's sooo perfect! I really love that outfit! It's sooo cute! I've missed reading you and I miss getting notes from you! You leave the best notes ever! I'm glad that your doing good! Your beautiful even after you had Griffin. I've been thinking about you! I'm soo sorry that Mike is such a loser. I just don't know what to say, i'm still praying for you though. I hope that he doesn't call you anymore. I miss you soo much! Have a great week, and have fun visting all of your family this weekend! I'm glad that you and your sister are getting along better! Yay!
from betchy :
griffin is so yummy scrumboes, i could just eat him!!! i dont mean like a cannibal, i mean he is just so cute!!! prayers coming to you from across the pond!!! it looks like you and your sister are getting on well at the moment. thats good sweetie. i am always amazed when i see pics of the two of you, you just look nothing alike!!! its weird, i would never have said you were sisters. anyway glad you and griffin are both healthy. take care sweetie xxx
from starlight42 :
Awe, I hope your cousins baby starts improving soon, that's scary!! I've got you all in my thoughts. :)
from kris-tee :
Awww!! He is so so cute! I can't wait to show you Blake! Isn't being a mom great? I love it! I thought I would hate it! I feel more grounded. So, how do your stiches feel? When will I heal? It freaking hurst still and it's been a week. I hate it. I can't wait to talk to you on IM. Hopefully you'll be on tomm! We had fun at the beach. It was weird though because it was like, I had a baby then I was on vacation. I'm glad to be home and have him sleeping in his bassinet. He is so adorable. I love him so much, he makes everything better.
from girlygirl83 :
Griffin is sooo cute, and he looks sooo sweet! I'm glad that you to are doing good. It sounds like your really happy! I'm sooo happy for you. I'm also glad that Jolene is accepting. I can't imagine why Mike hasn't called or anything. That's really bad. I'm sorry. He seems like the most pathetic person on earth. Oh well, just think about Griffin. I know that he makes you a very happy girl! I miss you girlie. I miss getting notes from you, and I miss seeing your name light up all the time. Oh well, I'm sure that your alot happier now that Griffin is here!
from krugerpak007 :
How are you and how is Griffin doing? Thinking of you guys. I hope everything is ok and that you are both doing well. xoxox
from aidawrites :
Thanks for your note! I havent seen you update, so I bet you are super busy being a mom and all, I bet Griffin is getting cuter everyday! cant wait to hear about it :)
from betchy :
hey girl, long time no hear!!! hope everything is ok with you, and that you and griffin are both well. hurry and post some pics soon, i cant wait to see how he is growing. but i know you must be so busy. anyway, i hope you are still enjoying motherhood, you seem to be making a great job of it. love and best wishes to you both xxxx
from krugerpak007 :
Griffin is growing day by day and you are leaving us out. I want to hear all about him, and you, and pictures and its been soooo long...Don't forget about us!!! xoxox Kathy
from starlight42 :
pictures please...
from krugerpak007 :
Thanks so much for your note. It encourages me so much to go for it. I just wander if people ever feel ready. I know I want children, but just not now. But I guess if I think about it too much there will always be some reason NOT to have kids...So thanks a lot. We have an appointment in a week and a half at the gynocologist to start "preparing". I am nervous! As to you, how are you doing, how is little Griffin? When are you going to post more pictures? I can't wait! xoxo Kathy
from saucy99 :
I know you're super busy right now, but we want pictures! ;-) I hope all is well and am very glad that you're enjoying motherhood so much!
from girlygirl83 :
I can't beleive that mike hasn't offered any money or hasn't offerd to help you out in anyway, but he wants to come over to play? That's really messed up. I hope that he gets a clue real soon like. I would totally get a student loan, but I don't know how to get one of those. I totally agree though. I wouldn't pay for me either, but they told me all summer that they would pay for me to go to school this fall. That's why I think that it's a little unfair in some ways. Oh, and I'm gonna look for a job tomorow and all next week. I hope that you and Griffin are doing well. Being a mom sounds like soo much fun!!!!
from kris-tee :
I can't believe Mike has not offered any money still. What an idiot. I think if he wants to see Griffin once day week, he needs to pay. Has any of this been talked about? Even with the mommies at all? I can't believe he had his mom call. I swear... I was talking to Chistina today and we agreed by the time our kids are grown, girls will all be lesibians because they will have figured out that guys just suck in general.
from kris-tee :
Yeah, I know once he is here I will probably be morea all about doing daycare. It's just getting on my nerves right now. I wish I could just be a stay at home mom, but my spending habbits would never allow that. I just want everything to be over with. I don't want to keep worrying if he is healthy, and worrying about the saggy belly and a C section, I want it to just be over with. Ughh... I feel like he's never going to come. EW, some girl named Teri just Imd me and I thought it was someone from Diaryland, so I responded and she's like hey how are you doing? I"m like, Who is this? She's like Teri, and I responded with Terri?? And she goes, who is this, Blake or Kristy? How funny is that? What an idiot. Ew, it creeps me out when random people try to talk to me. We had fun last night. I just want to not be pregnant, I have more strech marks now, I feel so gross, everything on me is inflated, my feet are huge. I want him here so so bad. I really thought I would have had him by now. I can't wait to see more pictures of Griffin. We leave for the beach on Saturday. I guess we'll have to see if we will go or not. It all depends on Blake. How is your cousin doing? Did she have her baby??
from kris-tee :
Thanks, your notes always make me feel 100 times better!!! I asked SIL how to do the pictures and she explained it to me last night, so I am going to try it today, I want to take some pictures of his nursery and some of the clothes I bought him.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, thanks for the note. I miss you alot. I can't beleive that you had Griffin. I showed my mom your pictures of him, and she said that you and hilm are adorible. I hope that your doing good. I miss talking to you,well you just took down your away message so I'm gonna IM you.
from kris-tee :
Thanks for the note. I want him here so bad. I want this to be over with so bad. I am so tired of being pregnant, I feel like I have been pregnant for ten years. I just want to hold him. I want to diet, drink coffee and have a margarita. I want him to cry and then stop when I get him. I'm losing it. Hey, I have a digital camera, but how do I put the pictures on the computer? I am so stupid when it comes to that stuff. I want to take some pictures, but I don't know how to do it.
from saucy99 :
Glad to hear you and Griffin are home, safe and healthy! He is so adorable!
from sweetone03 :
Thanks for the password. I like reading your diary you always have such long interesting entries. Your baby is such a cutie. And you are very beautiful too. You are very lucky to have a baby, babies are wonderful gifts from God.
from yellowrosetx :
Good to hear your back Ali! Glad Griffin is home and you are both doing well! Enjoy your time with that sweet baby!! What did Mike think of him? How often do you think Mike will want to visit? That must be difficult for you to avoid him. Where does he live in reference to you? Is he so close that he can just drop by? That would kinda suck! Hope all is well! Keep us posted! Take Care! -Rose
from aidawrites :
I spoke to her boss today, I cant get her fired, but I will get a public apology tonight :) I bet she hates me ever more now! Hope you and your little one are going good!
from joecartoon :
You know damn good and well that I would never say anyone was prettier than you, except for your beautiful baby boy.
from krugerpak007 :
More pictures, we want more pictures......Hope you are ok! xoxox Kathy
from fou-bel :
Wow, you two are beautiful. He's so tiny. I'm glad the delivery went well and that he's okay now. God bless, take care! xoxo
from joecartoon :
Wow, I'm not sure who's better lookin'!! Probably G-man, but only by a nose. Sorry I didn't tell all you kids that he was here, but as notes are 'unlockable' and I don't know most of you... Well, just blame me for the lack of knowledge if you wish.
from kris-tee :
Ok, your IM says your on and I have IM'd you a million times, but your not responding....
from betchy :
oh my god i just remebered, i had a dream about you last night!!! i dreamt i came to america to meet you, and you came to meet me from the airport with your mum and dad, and i found you then got lost in a big crowd!!! and i was running round and round the airport trying to find you and i couldnt and i was scared!!! see that proves i've been keeping you in my thoughts, i even had a dream! hope little griffin is ok x
from betchy :
i have had to lck my diary. just leave me a note if you want the password, but you probably have too much to worry about at the mo.
from betchy :
girl, how did you manage to look that good after just giving birth?
from spoildangelz :
He is toooo cute!!! I'm glad that your baby boy's okay...and that you're okay as well. And I'm glad to hear that delivery was a breeze! Hopefully it'll be the same for me! I'm dreading it, as you can imagine...but for some reason, I'm wishing that time is already here! Anyway, I'll keep you and your son in my prayers...and hopefully things turn out well for the both of you. :-)
from kissssy :
Ali, oh my goodness. You have such a beautiful baby boy! Griffin is perfect, no matter how early he was! Things don't always happen as you expect, but daaaamn you did good! I can't wait to hear about all the growing up he does over the next couple of months... It's amazing, hun! Congratulations!!!
from betchy :
he is absolutely beautiful!!!!! congratulations 100 times xxx
from sweetone03 :
Hi I have read your diary a few months ago now its locked I was wondering can I get the username and password????
from kris-tee :
Oh, Ali, I am DYING here to talk to you. I know you are so consumed. I can't wait to hear about everything. I have been checking diaryland three times a day.
from kris-tee :
OMG Ali, you have to call me!!! I wish I had your number so I could call you! I want to hear all about it! How was your labor? Did it hurt? How was the epidural? Did you give birth vaginaly? How did you know you were in labor? My cell is 410-598-3794. I know you are probably so so busy, but I would love to hear from you, I had a feeling something happend, I kept checking diaryland and I was starting to get worried when you were not updating. Wow, can you believe this? And we thought Blake would be here first!!! OMG, I am so excited for you, I have chills all over. I can't believe this. How amazing. I will definately keep both of you in my prayers. He is so beautiful Ali. Congrats. I miss you!
from fou-bel :
Oh I had no idea thats why you disappeared! I'm so happy for you, Congratulations, Griffin is a beautiful baby! Your both definately in my prayers, and good luck with your situation with Mike. I'm glad you decided on breast feeding, it's the best thing for him ;) Congrats! xoxo
from chicksreview :
hey ali, its betchy i'm a reviewer now, thats why i am writing from here. well, well, well, heres me wondering what the hell happened to you, when luckily i spotted a note to krugerpak007 from joecartoon to say that you're a momma now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i am beyond excited!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you are both ok, even though he was a little early. still a pretty good weight though, and i bet he is lush!!!!!! hurry back to d-land so you can post some pics and tell us all the details. i am so very very excited!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! thinking of you lots and lots x
from krugerpak007 :
I heard the news. I am thinking of you and beautiful Griffin and wishing you both all the best. I hope both of you feel good soon and we get to see Griffin in all the beautiful things you bought him. Take care! Thinking of you. xoxo Kathy
from krugerpak007 :
Are you ok? Missing you...xoxox
from tanprincess :
where are you? its not like you not to update! i hope everything is ok. let us all know something soon!
from krugerpak007 :
Just wanted to say hi, see how you are feeling, and how you and Griffin are doing...I hope you are having a good week. xoxo Kathy
from yellowrosetx :
you ok? We haven't heard from you in a while?
from kissssy :
Thanks for the support about my situation btw. It just sounds impossible to stay here now. Jason could work 2 jobs and never see Zack. Or I could work a job and put all the money I make right back into childcare. Plus work on top of breastfeeding... ugh. Hell no. We're most likely moving. If Jason can work only 40 hours a week and make that much money, we won't have to think about a second job or a job for me. We'll have so much time for Zackary. And, financial stability again. You don't know how much I miss that. Now, it's getting my family to see my point of view. Remember when I told you a couple months ago to just tell your family, they'll understand? Well, I went ahead and just told my family. Guess what? They don't understand. They think Jason's being emotionally abusive and controlling me to make this decision. Ugh. Like anybody could control me.
from kissssy :
Your son is going to pee a lot. Diapers only cost us $45 a month lol. But, that was not the point of the email, I know. In fact, keep it in there. Make him understand babies are expensive. Because you're right. They are. And, it wouldn't be fair for him to have the good things about being a father, without the not so good things as well. I think that email was very reasonable and to the point. Definitely worth sending. Do what's right for Griffin. I know I don't have to tell you that because you already sound like you have everything straightened out. Stay strong when he replies to you. People can get defensive for no reason at all.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey. I'm doing this at a computer at miniapolious airport lol I think thaaat letter is exactly what mike needs. I hope that your shower went good. I miss talking to you!
from yellowrosetx :
So did you send the e-mail? Maybe you should try answering one of his calls to see what he wants? If you avoid him now, he might try to use it against you later, so maybe you shouldn't be so evasive (remember, call phone calls can be tracked!). Just a suggestion! :o)I know you don't want him around, but unfortunately that's the circumstances since he knows it's his kid! I realize he's not doing his best, but guys aren't the greatest at accepting responsibility when it's dealt their direction, especially young ones with bad habits! It took J three times to be a half-way decent Daddy and much patience from me-he's still got a LONG way to go!! So how was your shower?
from joecartoon :
Ehhh, you were a little bitchy, but I think it was necessary. If you were completely nice he would think he could just waltz right back in.
from betchy :
i doubt he will sweet, like i said you havent been nasty at all, you have just told him how it is. if he cant handle it thats his problem. i would imagine he will be ok though. it might start to hit home a bit more now. have a great weekend speak monday x
from eggsaucted :
ali, hate to tell you this, but diapers are no where close to $20 a day
from betchy :
i think that e mail is perfect. its nasty, its fair and to the point. you have given him all the info he needs, plus you havent sugarcoated anything, he knows what he has to do, how much griffin will cost (that sounded worse than i meant it to) and he cant say you havent been straight with him. send it, send it, send it!!!!!
from aidawrites :
HAHA, no I dont think bad kissing is genetic, lol, its so funny that you dont want your baby to have Mike's genes, and i dont blame ya! I just cant stand a bad kisser, you know, Matt was a bad kisser too, he never used his lips and was all tongue, but at least he wasnt wet like this Cliff guy. Why cant guys use lips more and less tongue? I think the tongue is a very private part of a kiss and it shouldnt be used just for a simple good bye or hello. Some guys swear they are being all sexy when in fact its gross.
from betchy :
hope the exams go ok, try not to worry about them too much. i cant believe its only five weeks and little griffin will be here. the time has gone so fast!!!
from eggsaucted :
cervical exams are even less than a pap smear and frankly they didn't start mine until 38 weeks. By 40 weeks, I was 3 cm dilated and had already had contractions, you'll likely have a good idea that you're going into labor before your water ever breaks. My 40 week appointment was a tuesday and my water broke late wednesday night. I knew tuesday it was only a matter of time.
from betchy :
i bet your getting well excited about your shower, you will have so much lush stuff!!! and as soon as the nursery is finished be sure to post some piccies!!! i think fenton will be ok, we had a good chat last night, and, although i think it will be hard if the worst does happen, i've decided i will stand by him. i would be no kind of friend if i didnt, and he is a friend now. even though i used to feel differently for him, i actually feel more for him as a friend now, than i did when i fancied him. that was just superficial, this is real friendship now, do you know what i mean? i would stand by him, i would feel awful if i didnt. so, still not feeling the love for mike then? are you going to invite his mum to your shower?
from sweet-cynic :
has anyone told you lately that you've come a long long way? just sift through your archives if you don't feel it. i'm so proud of you. really! thankyou for the note.. it hasn't gone unnoticed and disregarded.. i guess what tanprincess said to me rung through. it's not worth being in a relatinoship if you can't trust the person you know... all this time i'm HOLDING on to my resentment andmy distrust of him so i can prepare myself for the next time if there's a next time he fucks up.. but if i don't trust him and i stay angry, why stay in the relationship at all? ... i'm going to fully let go (or try) this time. and see....
from betchy :
wow, the stuff for griffin is absolutely adorable!!! i adore that robe, he will look sooo cute in it!!! hope your weekend was good, mine was quite fenton based, read about it!!!! oh, and i totally get what you mean about not wanting people kissing him. holding him is fine, why do they need to spread their germs all over him? it is un-neccessary. speak soon sweetie, xxx
from kissssy :
Love the comb and brush set. I hadn't seen that one before, I'll have to look for it! I hope that cream works for you. I never tried the shea butter, but I've used the cocoa butter and that didn't work at all. Ack. I'll forever have battlescars now. I'm thinking of trying that Neosporin scar remover patch on them...
from kris-tee :
Ha! I have the same robe and slipper's set that my friend Carla sent me and the towl with the sail boat. I also have the sling, but mine is black! The robe and slipper set is so cute! I can't wait to put it on him!!! I miss talking to you too. You know, I am starting to think it is my service though. I am going to check it again. My screen name might change, I may just delete everything and start over.
from yellowrosetx :
ALL very cute gifts. I'm very excited for you!! The shower was great fun for me!! We were especilly spoiled by my previous job. They bought ALL of the big stuff!! Then we had a HUGE family/friends shower too! Have a great time at your shower!! Where did you register for all your stuff. We did Target and Babies R Us!! We're all excited, Griffin will be here soon!! Take Care! XOXO
from elliemay23 :
Don't think for a minute that you are crazy for not wanting people kissing on Griffin at the hospital OR after you get home. Infact, make each and everyone touching the baby wash their hands for a full minute before they even touch him. It may sound extreme to them, but trust me on this one, it will be better for the little one. Much better. When Ninny was in the hospital, we had to wash our hands for a full 3 minutes before we could go back to see her. Then after we brought her home, for a while we had the same rules. These are our babies. No kissing and handwashing is NOT extreme. xoxo, Ellie
from kris-tee :
Everytime I try to talk to you on, it never goes through. PrincessTosh IMd me and I talked to her but she never responded to me either.... Oh well. Anyway, I love that blue sweater with the hood, that is so adorable. I'm glad you talked to a lawyer. I am sure that makes you feel a hundred times better.
from tanprincess :
hey thanks for the note. i'm glad i got to see him too, i swear this man is almost too perfect, i keep wondering how i got so lucky! i hope you have a great 4th, just think this time next year griffin will be celebrating it w/ you! i kind of want to see the notebook but i dont think he would like it at all, he'd probably kill me once we got out of the theater!! LOL. maybe i'll take my cousin and she and i can go see it. i've heard really good things about it though. i think b'ham and i are going to see spiderman 2 this weekend though, i'm actually looking forward to seeing it! who knew! well i hope you have a good, safe holiday weekend!!
from yellowrosetx :
Ali, Ali! I hate it for Griffin that his Dad is not being a more "stand-up" Father. BUT, in the end if Mike has not showed his son the love/support a Father is supposed to... then Griffin will determine for himself that he was better off without his Dad. Some men just don't get it!!?? It's sad! They're given this beautiful gift and it's like they just toss the package aside! Their loss, really!!!! One day, Mike will look back and realize what an ass he was, and it will be when he's old and alone just like "J's" Dad did when he was dying! J's ex has 3 kids by 3 Dads and has another on the way with the man she's married to. So far, "J" is the only one taking care of his kid (besides her husband) and she denies "J" his visitation ALL the time. It sucks for us b/c we're actually the good guys and she still punishes us by keeping "JE" from us! Anyway, good luck! God will do what's best for Griffin! He never gives us anything we can't handle! XOXO!
from joecartoon :
Okay, now you're just threatening a brother and there's nothing nice about that. I haven't done anything to deserve that treatment (yet). Oh, and you may learn not to like me because I'm kinduva smartass, but I'm very rarely boring.
from joecartoon :
First of all, my apologies to science boy. I overlooked him, but it's nice to have male comapany over here (if you are capable of removing the innuendo from that). Secondly, you ladies don't know what boys are thinking. If you did, we'd never fight as much. One little hint. Never try to understand what a boy is thinking... because more than likely they aren't.
from joecartoon :
Dang. I just realized I'm the only boy on your whole list (if not, some of you have serious issues). I hope that doesn't mean I have to always give the entire boy perspective on every subject.
from joecartoon :
Nor should a woman try to teach a boy guy things. Then he'll end up throwing like a girl, cussing like a girl, etc. Then everyone will just think he's gay (not that you wouldn't love him if he's gay, but really? How many people look at their newborn baby and go... Man I really hope he sucks c**k when he grows up!). Leave the boy stuff to boy-type people. I mean if girls understood the nuances of peeing standing up you'd think they'd be doing it! It'd save all those embarrassing little lid up/lid down episodes that we all hate so much. Ummm... Lunch. I'm out.
from joecartoon :
Don't worry, there are good boys out there who are willing to make sure your boy learns all he needs to. Oh, and don't stress over not thinking about the time zone thing. It's something most people wouldn't think about, not just girls. (Okay, probably just girls, and guys who are nearly girls, but that would be mean to say out loud.) Later babe!
from betchy :
i think you are both right. my life does sound like a soap opera sometimes!!! and its not always fun. i just spoke to fenton, man he is so cheeky sometimes. he answered the phone and went "oh, i'm glad you phoned i need your assisstance saturday morning." and i said "well i'm going to a wedding at 12, so it will have to be early." and he says "yeah beck, no problem,i need your help pickingout a birthday present for nicki." so i agreed. then i said to him "what you up to tonight?" and he says "i was planning on coming round yours!!" i'm going out though, and he is going to meet us, but how cheeky? he just assumed!!! anyways sweetie, i am keeping you in my prayers always. even though i know you will be fine. you have tackled everything that has been thrown at you so far with grace and strength, and i really believe you will continue to do so. you are great xxx
from betchy :
i think you will be strong enough to go ahead with whatever you beieve is right. i know you dont always believe you are strong, but you are, otherwise you wouldnt have coped as amazingly well as you did at the beginning of you pregnancy. you are an amazing person ali, and because of that i think that everything will work out just fine xxx
from aidawrites :
OMG! I went to see The Notebook last night. Can I just say that I fell in love with Noah? He is amazing and I want to meet someone like him, and I want to be Ally, because I wouldnt mind choosing between 2 gorgeous men, its a win-win situation! The movie broke my heart, it was so sad, yet HAPPY, but so sad....WOW, I've never loved that Ryan Gosling guy because he seems like he is too skinny, but damn! He is ripped! I had butterflies everytime he would take off his shirt, i love him now, he was perfect for the role and he is beautiful! I cried my eyes out too, even the guy i was with admitted he was glad we didnt go see Spider-Man, haha, it was that good! And you are right, it makes you not want to settle, im totally feeling that way right now, that kind of love is beautiful, i felt it once, but i really hope i feel it again. :(
from joecartoon :
G-man is going to be the most pimpin' little preppy boy ever. Some of us are going to have to step in from time to time and make sure he knows how to be a man. You know, like having to teach a puppy how to hike his leg on a tree. Come to think of it, we'll probably teach G to pee on a tree too.
from joecartoon :
Well, the SEC is also hurt by the fact that they are in the Eastern Time Zone. That makes it difficult for the west coast viewers to watch, or the game doesn't end until 3 am local time. I've never really gotten into the pro sports as a 'tradition' but I enjoy doing it from time to time.
from aidawrites :
Yeah i guess he could be having a bad day too, but im just feeling really hurt right now :( ive been trying to get on AIM all day but it wont let me, damn thing. Nothing is going right for me today, i seriously want to quit and go back to school full time, errr... Anyway, im starving, i feel like eating a big mac! haha, never! Are you eating junk food now that you are pregnant? I would!
from joecartoon :
Seems like the SEC & Big XII never really get Thursday games, but luckily we're playing a Mountain West opponent (Utah) so we get the slot. All of our non-conference games are on TV this year, which is good for me since I won't be in College Station. At least I can live vicariously through the tube.
from betchy :
i didnt mean i thought you were being too harsh, just that you have been pussyfooting around him, its good that you have made a firm strong decision. i really dont think he would sue though honey, he doesnt seem as if he has enough guts to do that!!!
from joecartoon :
Oh, and thanks for the link. I can always use more people to complain to. So do I ever get the right to read your page so I can get a little more insight into Ms. Ali?
from joecartoon :
Thursday games are good, night games always seem louder to me, and I never went to class anyway, so it didn't really affect me. Okay, you've convinced me that 28 isn't so bad. I'm not really that hard up about age as it is anyway.
from betchy :
hey girl!!! well thats some pretty harsh action that you are taking with mike, but if you are sure thats what you want to do, then go for it!!! had a brill time at my dads and guess what??? my little sis wasnt a complete brat!!! she was actually quite sweet!!! she told me i looked like i had lost weight, and asked me to take her to her school fate because she wanted me to meet all her friends because she had told them all about me. it was quite cute. i guess wonders will never cease. sorry that you are having a bad time wit ingrid again, and hope you sort things with your mum. speak soon xxx
from joecartoon :
Awww... you're just saying that to make an old man feel young and sexy (it was yesterday, the 29th, by the way). It's cool, it worked. Our first game is on a Thursday this year, so at least we'll be on ESPN. Normally (ie. back in the good 'ole college days) I'd skip class and road trip it, but I think missing 3 days out of my first week of law school might not be the best idea, so I guess I'll watch it from good old Lawrence, USA.
from yellowrosetx :
have you registered yet?
from joecartoon :
Ahhh... the tailgating and the shit talking. Those are my favorite parts. We're not SEC country, so we don't do the 'get all dressed up and get loaded on bourbon' thing before games. It's usually 110 degrees and 98% humidity here, so it's khaki shorts and maroon t-shirt and all the Shiner beer you can drink! Sadly, in relation to your other comment, I'm only 2 years away from that Big 3-0.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I'm gonna go see "The Notebook" tonight with my roomie. Or should I say my old roomie. I'm excited!! Oh, and I hope that I Didn't make you mad on AIM earlier. I was just trying to get to my doctor's appt at 3. I hope that your not mad a tme. I hope that you have a great night tongiht!
from girlygirl83 :
I did likeit. It was good :)
from joecartoon :
Whaddya mean, 'Happy Birthday, I guess.' Of course happy birthday! Birthdays rock! Even if the number is getting a little bit bigger than I'd like. Oh, and I'll visit Neyland sometime soon. I've already been to Notre Dame and the Big House, so the Horseshoe and Neyland can't be far behind. You don't have to love the individual team to enjoy college football. All of the pageantry and spirit makes it great regardless of where you are (except Texas Tech and Baylor, they suck!).
from joecartoon :
West Canaan could have been my hometown except for the fact that they won a lot of games and we won almost none (in fact, we were like one of the little towns they beat up on 56-3). I've never been to an SEC game other than in Baton Rouge, so I can't really compare, but I love games here at Kyle. It's not as big as Neyland, but it is definitely rocking. We've had the place loud enough before that the vibrations from all the yelling caused pipes to burst in the restrooms.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I must see The Notebook. It sounds sooo good. I think that me and my mom are gonna go see it tonight. it should be alot of fun. I was reading your entry that you wrote about the time right after you home from the movie. it made me almost cry. I think that you should never ever settle. I mean your beautiful. I'm glad to hear that your not gonna settle anymore. That entry made me stop and think about my life. I mean, at times I think that I don't wanna settle either. I mean I want the prince charming. I want a romantic guy. I want the guy who treats me like I'm the prettiest girl on the earth, but at the same time for me it's kinda like "Take What You Can Get", but I'm trying to be more self-confident so I'm trying to think that I deserve a great guy. I'm sorry that your sister is being mean and that you and your parents aren't getting along, that sucks. I know that you can't wait till Griffin gets here though. I hope that you have a great weekend!
from joecartoon :
Now there's no sense in nice young ladies like you going and trying to offend my Big XII sensibilities. Yes, yes, you have the title this year (but, yuck, it's the SEC West!), but we'll come back around. Besides, you're talking to a Texas boy, and while we didn't invent football, we certainly perfected it!
from joecartoon :
Thankfully my scholarship at KU pretty much takes care of the out of state tution, but I'm still going to learn about he wonderful world of student debt. Boo! It's probably better I didn't make it to Knoxville anyway, this way I can think about 'what might have been' without the crusing rejection of you actually turning me down. ;-)
from joecartoon :
Well, I was going to come to Knoxville, but then I heard that you only dated Yankee men, so I thought, "What's the point?" and decided to stay here at home. Plus out of state tuition is a bitch.
from joecartoon :
Ahhhh... Rocky Top and Neyland Stadium. Very nice. I got my undergrad at Texas A&M and I'm going to Kansas for law school.
from joecartoon :
Hmmmm.... I'm sure they'll love the drawl, but I might have to work on the words that come out of my mouth. I've gotta put my filter back in place again now that I'm back in school and not in the working world. Ciao babe!
from krugerpak007 :
I think the redder they are (the marks) the newer they are...Have a good week, hope you are feeling ok! xoxo Kathy
from aidawrites :
I need to go see The Notebook ASAP, I was actually at the movie theater and bought the tickets, but then we were able to sneak into Fahrenheit 9/11 so we saw that instead. I'm going to see The Notebook this week for sure though, the book was great so I hope the movie is just as good. I hear you about not settling. I see the same things with my friends and people I know, people that get married just for the sake of being married, and I don't want that, we deserve true love, I'm glad you are a true believer, I think I might be too. I feel the same way for Matt that you do for Ian. Even though people make mistakes, true love should be above pride and everything else that steps in the way. In my case, we were both too proud and walked away from true love. (I'm sentimental right now because I saw Cold Mountain again last night, and THAT was true love.) I also hope that Charlotte from SATC was right too and we get another chance at true love, because it's great, and I miss it.
from krugerpak007 :
yip! Israel is a world away! Unfortunately these damn marks don't go away, they fade but they never ever dissapear and believe me I have tried everything. So yes, maybe try the baby oil thing...About Ian I think maybe you should tell him. Don't you think he will find out anyway and it would be best for him to find out from you?I don't know. I just think that life is so short and if you love someone you should let them know.I also wish I could take my own advice sometimes! Anyway sweety, take care and have a good Sunday! x Kathy
from kissssy :
*Sigh* It was so nice to hear you talk about your son. I'm glad he is becomming your life. It's amazing huh? They don't even have to be born yet, and you're willing to die for them. Motherhood is beautiful (even at 2am when the baby just WON'T sleep!) Lol, going back to bed. Hugs!
from krugerpak007 :
I have stretch marks from gaining and losing. I HATE them. I used to work with a girl who had an amazing body after pregnancy. She used to bath in baby oil during her pregnancy-she said that was her secret...
from krugerpak007 :
I live in Israel. :-) Kathy
from krugerpak007 :
Hope you are having a good weekend sweety. I am sure things will work out. But try not to worry, you will just drive yourself mad. It will be ok. I am sure of it. Take care! xoxo Kathy
from girlygirl83 :
Yeah, Iguess their love really doesn't ever change. I mean, b ut my parents can stand to be away from me now, and when I was born they couldn't. *That was a stupid anology* but you know what I mean. I guess My parents still love me the same, cause when I got hurt. They loved me and wanted to baby me. So I guess that your right. It's an insane amount of love huh? I hope that you have a wonderful weekend!
from joecartoon :
Damn for us southern boys I suppose. Oh well, mabye it will be reciprocal... I mean, I'm moving to the midwest in a month, so maybe they'll just eat up my Texas accent.
from joecartoon :
Nooo!!! A nice southern belle with a penchant for yankee men? It can't be! And good thing putting down the cigarette, but don't give up on the margarita's forever.
from manda-d :
I forgot about the yard sale stuff you had mentioned! Silly me! You should be all set. I just didn't want him puking on his Gap fisherman sweater ;-) (It is WAY cute!)
from princesstosh :
Hey. My aim is Mikeandtosha918....pretty good huh, mine and michaels names and the wedding date. Whopeee. Oh, and I dont know how in the world we got all of our deposit back. They liked us, so I guess we just got lucky. Finally we get some luck.
from betchy :
i think she is just the spawn of satan to be perfectly honest. or they found her somewhere and felt sorry for her. she doesnt even look like any of us!!!! we all have quite nice faces, (i dont think i'm lush or anything, but i havent got an ugly face) and the other 2 are lush. she is just ugly. never mind. i am not back at work until wednesday, so have lovely weekend, hope evrything is good for you, hope you manage to sort mike out!!!! take care and have fun, beckz xxx
from starlight42 :
That's true, $61 for something that you'll use for a few years is reasonable. I thought it being Kate Spade would be much more. Anyway, I don't think the show explained why Casey is living with Nic & Jess. I'm assuming she just wanted to move out to CA and is working on finding her own place. The Simple Life this week was SO funny. They went to a nudist colony!! They even went to a nude disco. They also had to work as maids. It was funny because they refused to work, so when they were in one of the rooms, they put on regular clothes (as opposed to the maids uniform) and sat on the bed & another maid came in and assumed they were guests so she cleaned while they sat there and ate!! Too funny. Hey, your last day of work must be coming up pretty soon huh? That will be cool.
from kris-tee :
Hey!!! I keep trying to talk to you on AIM, my screen name is BlakeKristy. It's very original!
from girlygirl83 :
'eh, I don't really think that your sister trys to be mean. I just think that she hasn't seen a mom that has just givein b irth before, I don't think that she nkows what it's like to have that much love for a b aby. I NEVER knew before my sister had Luke, I just thought oh well, parents must love their babies like I love my parents. I don't know if they do right when they are born. I think that it's a hell of alot more intense than anyone can ever imagine. I don't know if that love for that parents have for theirs kids is always intense as it is when you first have them.I think that mom's are also the ones that love the baby more than the dad does. I think that ingrid should be alot more compassionate about things though. she should be alot more nicerthan shes being.
from girlygirl83 :
I *HATE* Mike too with all of my power. I wish that he was alot more better. I hope that you can at least talk to him. Even if you do cry, it will be better than just letting him think that he's great. He needs to know that he isn't b eing at all nice and kind. I think that he needs to step the fuck up right now.
from girlygirl83 :
If a judge gave Mike custody of Griffin, Instead of you. I think that the judge would be fucking insane. I mean seriously. Im sure that you will get full custody and Mike MIGHT get visitation rights. I mean seriously. If there is any other option. then the judge is in sane. Try not to worry too much. I'm sure it will all work out :)
from betchy :
i really hope not. the way she is at the moment i really wouldnt care if i never saw her again. i know that sounds awful, but its how i feel. the strange thing is though, she adores me. she can be horrid to me, but she's a nasty child anyway, but she's a hell of a lot nicer to me than she is to anybody else. i cannot stand the way she speaks to my dad. she is so rude. if i had spoken to my dad like that at her age, i'd have gotten a clump!!! i still wouldnt dare speak to him like that. i still wont swear in front of him, but she does and she is 10!!! i remember my dad giving me a smack on the arm when i was about 7 for saying damn!!! i hate the way she is treated differently.grrrrrrrrrr.
from girlygirl83 :
yes all men do suck. I am excited that your getting aim :)
from girlygirl83 :
Yay! I can't wait to see pictures of Griffin! Did you ever get aim? I'm obred today.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I am glad taht your doctor's appt went well today. I am also glad that you and Leigh had a good time together last night! I knew that she owuld understand. I'm glad that everythings wokring out for you. Minus the Mike thing. He sucks.
from betchy :
yeah, she is definately a beast. i really wouldnt care if i never saw her again. i think you are worrying a bit too much about mike. i know he isnt exactly reliable, and maybe isnt as interested as you would expect him to be, but i really dont think he would try and take griffin away from you. and even if he did try he wouldnt stand a chance. its natural to worry though, thats your mothers instinct kicking in!!! see what a good mum you will be?
from krugerpak007 :
I see that we have a lot of diaries in common, and was wondering if you would let me read yours? Take care and have a good weekend. xoxo Kathy
from girlygirl83 :
It's definatl ya good thing to be funny! I don't get mikes problem either. It's like he has a son comeing in 7 weeks and it's like he doesn't care about anything. I would really be pissed as you are I'm sure. I don't get guys at all. I Think that guys need to grow up and get some balls and act like they know right from wrong. My screen name is tahitiantreat00 on aim if you really do get it tonight we can talk! Yay! I'm gonna miss you sooo much when Griffin gets here, maybe we still can talk some though! Aight, well, I have some raviolli and I'm gonna go eat that. I'll talk to you later!
from girlygirl83 :
I think that your funny as well! I really am glad that your family is b eing sooo great! That is wonderful. I bet you do wish that mike was dead. I do too and I don't even know him. I SERIOUSLY Think that you should get AIM that'd be awsome if you did! Your definatly the most popular girl on diaryland just think about how many awsome girls you'd get to talk to!
from aidawrites :
HAHA! You are hilarious! I think it's normal to wish evil upon people who have behaved like selfish assholes and ruined our lives. I wished Matt would die many times...that he would crash in that plane of his. Now I just wish that his dick would fall off or something. Before the internet, i think people played Tetris all day long. Thats what I did at this one job that there was on internet. I played Tetris for 8 hours straight, i'm sure it wasnt healthy.
from girlygirl83 :
HEy are you ok? I just worry cause you didn't update today, and you always update on week days. I hope that your doing good! I missed reading you today.
from betchy :
yeah we all hate her!!! its not so bad for me because i dont live with them, i can tolerate her, even be nice to her, when i see her, but for the other two its horrible. she will go in their rooms and just ruin their stuff for the hell of it. if she was 4 or 5 years old, and just trying on their make-up, it wouldnt be so bad, even funny, but she will deliberately scratch their c.ds, tip bottles of expensive perfume on the floor, rip their clothes, just out of spite!! and my dad says "well shes only a baby." no she isnt, she is 10 years old, she knows right from wrong!!! she is so spiteful, my sister amy has epilepsy, and the medication she is on has given her terrible acne, mally will just call her "spotty bitch." and stuff because she knows it gets to her. she is even nasty with other children. they had a poll in her class to say who they didnt get along with and should make more of an effort to be friends with (basically who they didnt like, pretty cruel thing to do i think, but what can you do?) every single kid in that class said my sister. thats how much of a nasty kid she is. and i swear not a single day goes past that she doesnt cry about something. i love the other two so much i would do absolutely anything for them, but i cant feel anything but hate and disgust towards her. she is dreadful.
from kissssy :
Okay. I think I FINALLY found a few moments to sneak some computer time! Zack is (how shall I put this?) in that really really reaaaally annoying needy stage. Love him to death, but if he can't see me at all times... he throws a tantrum. This makes it very hard for Mommy to shower, change, or get any alone time whatsoever LOL. Sigh. A mother's job is never done. I'm so sorry to hear his head's moving south already. Oh, that happened to me. For the last 9 weeks of my pregnancy, I felt like... well... like there was a cantaloupe in my pelvic bone. My hips started popping, I was unable to twist around (like to crawl out of bed in the morning or change position), and I felt like I wanted to cry. The good news though... if his head didn't move that way this early, you might go way past your due date. He needs to put that pressure on your cervix to start your dilation. Oh, I'm so excited for you!! (Even if you start to feel cranky about the pressure). And, sorry about the feet swelling. Mine were little balloons. I swear I felt like I could float standing on water. I'm so psyched you're so close to the date now! Good luck! Don't let the third trimester blahs hit you too hard. And, the best advice (I wish I'd followed) is GET OUT! Go do the things you won't be able to do as well with a kidling. Go to the movies. Go on vacation. Go do SOMETHING! Hugs.
from betchy :
i am sure he will love his name. how could he not? my dad named me and my sisters, and gave us all really boring names. rebecca elizabeth, amy louise, and lucy ann. then my youngest sister was born and they call her mally jacqueline!!! what the hell? i have never ever met another mally in my whole life, and i hate the name!! it suits her though, she is a horrible little brat!!! i love the other two but i hate her. kind of like you and ingrid i guess, but mally is only 10. still she is a horrible kid. your parents gave you and your siblings really nice names, that arent very common (not over here anyway) i have never met another alexia, or ingrid and i only know one zack!!!
from betchy :
you dont get too many madisons over here. my friend had a baby 2 months ago and called her cerys marie, which is quite nice. my other friend had a little boy and called him finlay jay which i also really like. i quite like morgan for a boy or a girl, but i guess thats probably quite common in the states where it isnt here. oh, and shanice i like, although it reminds me of a ricki lake guest sort of name!!!
from soverycherry :
Yeah, maybe just MAYBE I'll be a 4 Long again. Someday! It can happen! Like we've said before, we have to be hot moms. We just have to. October's always been my favorite month. Unfortunately, Louis' birthday is the 13th, so that sucks. But oh well, two of my cousins and my grandfather were all born in Oct too, so that's not so bad. Once Upon a Child is pretty nice - I didn't see anything that would rate an "eww," let alone something gross. I love teeny Ralph Lauren, I can't wait until he can start wearing that stuff!! I haven't even thought about a nursery theme yet. I have colors in mind, now I just need to find something that goes with them. I love this dark blueish/purple color (more blue than purple) with white trim. The room he'll be in has a lot of light coming into it, so I think it will work. There's just so much to do!
from betchy :
i think that maybe griffin zachary after your brother is nice. i think that hunter and hudson go really well as names. boss' full name is justin hudson farrell which i think is a really nice name. its better than marc alan fenton!!! i love names. if i did ever have a kid i would take forever to pick a name. i really like madison for a girl, because i like maddie for short, and like i said i do like taylor for a boy. jody had her baby at the weekend and called it tyler (boy). how weird that someone i hate so much would pick a name so similar to one that i like.!!!
from soverycherry :
Ah, I forgot that you're a good 3" taller than I am! That makes a difference, for sure. I remember how hard it was to find pants back when I was still a size 2/4 - I could only wear Gap Longs or Express Longs. How annoying. I just wish it was 6 months from now so all the pain will be over with, that's all. I'm such a wuss. I've bought a few things for Parker, but most of the stuff that's out now is still so summery, and it will be fall when he gets here. We have a Once Upon a Child here where you can get "Gently Used" clothes, and you can get teeny Polo shirts for about $3 each! I also want to get him tiny Osh Kosh bibs, I think every kid should have some of those, I did. And that's the only time that people should be allowed to wear bibs - when they're babies or children. Or farmers. Anyway, last fall it stayed so hot up until November, so if it's like that again this year that would suck. I am glad that I'm due in October though - that's my favorite month. I love the colored leaves and how the air smells. Mmm. My mom was complaining the other day about how much it sucked when she was pregnant with me - she was working at a daycare in the middle of summer (I'm an August baby), and she had to stand out on blacktop all day! My poor mom.
from princesstosh :
YES it sucks to be the bigger person all of the time. Hopefully one day it will pay off. Your sister cracks me up, its like everything you are, or you want, she has to be or want. Too funny. You need to get some really ugly outfits and prance around in them, next thing you know everyone will be laughing at her for dressing so funny! Take care!!
from princesstosh :
I want all of that to happen for you, and more!! Dont lose hope Ali, you will find someone who will be good to you, and to Griffin!!!! And, all the white furniture sounds beautiful, but just watch out for the red wine!!! :)
from girlygirl83 :
Hey that's awsome that you and your nana have a special bond. I have that with my grandpa. I know that no matter what he will always be there for me. No matter how bad I screw things up. I think that your family is takeing this great. I know what you mean about Mike. I hope that he goes away too. I hope that your sister gets alot nicer alot sooner. I know that me and my sister's relationship has gotten alot better since she had Luke. so there's still hope. I e-mailed you about the other diary. You cna e-mail me b ack ifyou want to and tell me what you thought I hope that you have agood night.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I'm soo glad that your nana was ok with everything. I know that she means alot to you. I'm also glad that you and Carrie are talking now and that she aplolgized. I'm sorry that Ingrid is still being rude. that would make me soo upset too. I seriously doubt that the courts would take Griffin away from you. I mean your sooo much more responsible than Mike. I know that it hurts your feelings that mike isn't being very nice at all. It would hurt mine too. Oh and I would b e hurt with what Rhena's parents are saying too. Tha'ts bull-shit. They deffinatly do not need to b e talking about you. I don't mind telling you at all. I just have to write it again. I wrote it yesterday, but it somehow dissappeared. I'll write it again though. Well, I hope that you have a great week!
from betchy :
yeah, i guess you do know him better than your nan does, but that is so sad things didnt work out for you. i wish they had!! yeah i couldnt believe it when boss said his middle name was hudson!!! i was like "this girl iknow on the internet was thinking of calling her baby that" it is his dads name apparently, but his dad is from one of the islands in the carribean (cant remember which one he said). my weekend was okay, i've updated now, so you can read all about it. i normally update earlier than this, but i have been having a crazy day at work. ye-ha!! speak lata sweetz xxx
from betchy :
hey girl, hows you? just read your entry, and i think that your nana sounds like such a sweetie. like you said she is always right so why not take her advice and write ian a letter? it obviously helped your nana accept things easier if she got choked up by it. if you dont mond me asking, what happened with you and ian? i wasnt a reader back then , so i dont know. if you want just tell me the name of the entry that explains it and i'll read that, if you dont want to be reminded of it and explain it all. anyways, i hope you are ok, and believe me sweetie, no-one will be taking griffin away from you!!! p.s boss' (fenton mate) middle name is hudson!!! he told me on friday!!!
from girlygirl83 :
hey I just wrote about it, but I think that it got deleted, cause I was signed on both of my s/n. It was a good story, I'm just paranoid that it got on my regular site. I guess I'll have to do it again tomorow.
from kris-tee :
What the hell is wrong with the other site? I can't acess it and it's making me really mad! Anyway, I saw you just updated and I thought that was funny! A year ago on a Saturday night, you and I would have been out drinking and dancing the night away, now we are writing in our on line journals!
from toxicsmile :
Your baby is beautiful!!! I was watching the Today show on NBC this morning and they had a segment on HypnoBirth which is supposed to be this "new" way of painless childbirth...anyway, it seems interesting and it made me think of you. (Its funny how you dont even know people, but you read about them and so in a weird way, you kinda DO know them or you know what they want you to know.)Anyway, if you ever get bored, you should do some research...oh and I really only wanted to stop by and say HEY! :)
from spoildangelz :
Oh, yeah...and about Leigh...just tell her. I'm sure she'd understand. She won't let something like this injure a long friendship. She'll understand what you had to go through...and if she gets hurt initially cause you didn't tell her sooner, she'll get over it. She has to find out sooner or later, anyway. Better that it comes from you than from someone else. So tell her! You'll feel better about it. And so will she. She's just an extra friend that you need right now.
from spoildangelz :
Hey girl, thanks for the note. I'm sure that even if you don't end up with Mike, you'll find someone perfect for you and would love you and Griffin more than anything. I'm sure of it. Things have a way of working themselves out, after all. After my ex and I broke up - and FOUR long years after that...I never thought I'd ever be content...I never thought I'd find someone who would treat me like he treated me...and to tell you the truth, I kind of put him up on a pedestal and no one was ever good enough. But guess what? I found Bryan. And I'm really thankful for that. I probably wouldn't even have appreciated him as much as I do now if I didn't go through all those assholes that I dated. And they were plenty. I'm more than positive someone will come along for you to treat you and the baby the way you deserve when the right time comes. And regardless of whether you have someone or not...pregnancy still sucks. You're lucky it's almost over for you!!! :-)
from kris-tee :
Hey! I just updated. Anyway, I think if I was Leigh, I would understand. She has Ryan it's differnt for her then it is for you. I think she will understand. I really do. I'm glad that she just found out she is pregnant though, that way there is space between the two. Oh and is everything ok with Cookie? She has not updated in a while? If you don't want to leave it here, then leave it at the other place.
from betchy :
i am one of those people that looks at what they have got rather than what they havent. and i think i've got things pretty damned good!!! (apart from always being skint, but hey ho). gotz to go now, have a wonderful weekend sweetie, stay beautiful xxx
from betchy :
it used to upset me when i first found out, but i am honestly fine with it now. yeah one day i might wish that i had a chance of having them, but as long as i always have good friends and close family around me i will be fine!!! and truly, with the kind of lifestyle i lead, i dont think having kids would be a good idea. it would be really selfish of me in fact!!! but i think for people who do have them, it must be the most wonderful thing to look down at another person and think "i made that". wow. it must be amazing.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I just remembered something, don't feel bad about not telling leigh sooner. Your situation is kinda tough. I mean I am sure that you would of told her if it were under different situations. I know that she is gonna understand that. I also know that Griffin is going to b e loved by everyone in your family. I Love Griffin and you and I don't even know y'all! I know I need to start praying more. I should try to pray today. I can tell that praying for you has brought alot in your life. Girl, your doing sooooo good and I'm sooo proud of you!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, That is soo awsome that your soo happy! You made me laugh out loud when you were talking about how you hoped that Griffin didn't have alot of Mikes features! Haha. That is really funny. I know that I haven't really told yall what I have, I t hink that this diary is a little too public, I'm gonna write about it in my other diary. I have a good idea as to how to write about it too. I guess I haven't really 'accepted' the fact that I have it and that's why it's sometimes sooo hard to write about it, but I'm gonna try to go do it right now. I'll email you all of the stuff.
from betchy :
i really cant wait for griffin to be born, i so badly want to see what he looks like!! because of my situation (the possibility i wont have children) i get so excited when people have babies!! it is so lovely listening to you talk (write?) about him now, it is extremly cute!!! i am so glad that your happy sweet pea xxx
from betchy :
oh my god ali, those pictures of griffin are just amazing!!! you can actually see what he looks like and he is absolutely perfect!!! you are going to have one of the most gorgeous babies in the world you are so lucky!! i am so glad that you feel good about everything now, and that it is all going well. i was worried about you for some time there chicken! its good that mike is being supportive, and that your parents are aswell, i am just so glad for you!!! ye ha! that would be cool if you added me, yeah, i thought that maybe you liked getting notes from me, but just didnt like my diary (wiping away a tear). as for fenton, well, i didnt expect anything else really, he is a player!! he's lovely to me, but i'm just a mate, and i am so glad that is the case if this is how he treats his girlys!! me nad boss were chatting last night, and he said that nicki does like fenton, but she isnt stupidly crazy over him, so who knows what will happen? he even said to me last week he didnt really want a girlfriend, so i dont understand what he is playing at really. i just feel sorry for her, she is a lovely girl with a lot going for her, she doesnt deserve it. anyway chick, once again i am so happy for you, speak later ok, lots of love xxx
from girlygirl83 :
Yeah! I LOVE getting notes from you! Iwas just gonna check to see if someone left me a note, and you did!! It made me really happy! I'm sure that you have alot of notes to write so I'll talk to you tomroow!
from spoildangelz :
Hey...I've been so engrossed in your diary for the past two days and it amazes me how much your attitude has changed towards this whole pregnancy! I can relate to most of the things you've written....even the "ex" part....and then the whole attitude about the pregnancy. I just can't wait till mine is done and over with! I know that you and the baby will be fine in the long run. You just have it in you, I can tell. The baby's adorable, by the way! :-)
from saucy99 :
oh my god, that is so amazing! he looks perfect! I've never seen ultrasound pictures like that before. that is unbelievable technology. most ultrasound pictures that I look at like like a bunch of ink blots and I can never really tell where the baby is. Congratulations!
from girlygirl83 :
Oh and I forgot to tell you that I'm happy that Mike and his family are all supportive. I hope that Mike will continue on being responsible. I'm sure that he will.
from girlygirl83 :
Ali, I'm sooo excited! I could really see him in hte pictures! When my sister had her ultra sound I couldn't see Luke at all. I'm sooo excited that everything is working out soo good for you! I told you it would. I am also glad that we got to e-mail back and forth. It made me feel special. I told my dad about you and Griffin and he said htat he liked hte name Griffin! See God does take care of us doesn't he?
from betchy :
'allo, 'allo, 'allo, guess what? fenton cheated on nicki on saturday night!!! his mate came round last night and told me. and not with anyone nice either, with this dirty scutler that is known up time for being the local bike!! cant believe it, nicki is so nice, i actually am starting to think she might be too good for him. i can believe it actually, he is just a player. will definately stick to being mates, (even though i do want to rip his clothes off every time i see him!!), at least that way i know he cant hurt me!! anyway how are you today? is everything still all good?
from girlygirl83 :
hey girl, love is something that is really strange. It hurts a hell of alot when it ends. I know that your hurting when it comes to Ian, but maybe God has bigger and better plans. I know that when people tell me that I get mad. but maybe he does. I don't think that your ognna b e single for the rest of your life. Maybe another prince charming will come along. I know that it's hard to beleive and I know it's hard when the first year aniversery comes along. Just keep in mind of all of the mean-ness he did to you. (If there were any that is) I'm sooo proud of you girl!
from betchy :
yeah it was a good weekend, i was pretty damn drunk for most of it, but thats nothing new!!! i think i am leaning more towards griffin on the name front, i am used to it now!!! and i dont think it will ever be a common name to be honest!!! go with griffin!!!!! xxx
from manda-d :
I so don't like the name Hudson. It reminds me of the that guy who died from AIDS. I like Griffin.
from tanprincess :
yes bowling & drinking was a ton of fun! things are going so good w/ b'ham...almost too good! my cousin fell in love w/ him the minute she met him which is always a good sign! she kept going on and on about how cute she thought he was and what a cute couple we were! made me feel really good, ya know! anyway its so good to hear how everything is falling into place for you!!! maybe mike is trying to put for the effort to be involved, i'm sure he just does not really know what to do or how to act. maybe you should talk to him---if not thats your choice and i respect that too! i know you are counting the days down till friday--your last day of work!! gosh i so envy you for that!!! when are you going to post more pics...i love seeing your pics!!!
from girlygirl83 :
Wow, ali, it seems like everything is comeing togeter. I'm really excited for you! That's nice of that one girl to buy you soo much stuff! I understand that she's annoying sometimes. You should just like hang out with her like once a week or something like that. I would totally pamper myself too! You soo deserve it. I hope that things continue to go smoothly for you! Oh and try and let mike in. He is a dick, b ut maybe he's trying. I don't know though. Guys are stupid. I'm gonna go update now!
from aidawrites :
6'4 would be perfect for you, but im only 5'3 so wouldnt that be awkward? I think so. Matt was 6'3 and I loved it, but I think that extra inch is too much for me. Ive always dated tall guys though, its something about them that makes you feel safe and protected. As for being single, its okay, i enjoy it really, but it does feel like there is something missing in my life, and i dont know if its "someone" missing or something i havent put my finger on yet. Oh and im glad you are making an effort to communicating better with Mike. Guys are like puppies, you gotta take them by the leesh and show them where to go.
from betchy :
hello you, how was your weekend? havent had a chance to read your updates yet because i keep getting in trouble for being on here too much. ye ha!!! hope evrything is ok and that you are happy. have you come to a decision on a name yet? is it going to be griffin?? i asked my joey baby yesterday what she thought of the name griffin, she said she really likes it, and she has never known a griffin before. so thats good. speak to you soon xxx
from girlygirl83 :
Aww, I'm glad that Id on't annoy you. I'm gonna email you the pw and stuff. I hope that you have a great day!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey I hope that I Don't annoy you. I know what you mean about girls on here though. I think that it's cool that you write every monday about the gestation (If thats the right word......if not then I think that it'scool that you inform us about your babies growth things) I never knew all of that stuff! It's pretty neat. I am glad that you had a good weekend. I'm gonna miss you wehn you leave your job. That sucks that you have to work another week. I would be mad too. Oh and I'm praying for your cusin! I hope that you have a great week! Oh andI'm gonna lock my diary so e-mail me if you want the pass words and stuff.
from aidawrites :
You'll be thin, sexy and fabulous! I'm so sick of hooking up, and not just sex, but in general. Right now its all about having fun with the girls and not worry about men. I hate men.
from aidawrites :
Well, i still dont think you were in some wrong path, i mean, you were just being a normal 20something year old, doing the same things i am doing now, partying and dating. Anyway! (I'm so ready to go home) My Fave Brad Pitt movie till this day is Legends of the Fall, I can watch that over and over again. He looks great in A River Runs..... and The Mexican, I love Snatch because it shows what a great actor he is. Fight Club is amazing. And even though Meet Joe Black kinda sucked, he looked like a god. Oh! and Seven Years in Tibet! YUMM!!!
from aidawrites :
I dont think you ever screwed up, I think its just a matter of something happening that you couldnt really see was going to happen, by today's standards you really didnt do anything wrong, and now you are doing everything right for yourself and the baby with enormous amounts of strengh and responsibility. About the Bradmania, there wasnt a teenage girl more head over heels in love with him than me, I had my bedroom covered with pictures and posters of him until I was about 16, pretty pathetic. I'm still kinda pathetic, I have one last picture of him in my bedroom (framed) and all his DVDs. heehee.
from betchy :
they are both great names!!! got to go now, so have a lovely weekend, stay feeling positive, and i will leave you a note on tuesday. take care babe xxx
from aidawrites :
Its funny you mention that about Tristian, ever since Legends of the Fall I said i was going to name my son that, and its been years so i havent even thought about it until you mentioned it!
from eggsaucted :
You know if his name's not on the birth certificate you have no legal right to claim child support from him and he won't have to give you a dime.
from girlygirl83 :
I'm glad that you finally feel at peace. Girl, you've come a VERY long way since March. I remember e-mailing you and you've become much more strong and things are getting htere for you. I'm glad that you feel at peace! I don't know why that girl keeps leaveing me mean notes and leaveing me shit. I hate it. Her screen name is Snobby Chic. She's on Diaryland. She leaves me shit on my tag board and on notes. I try to delete the notes tough. I hope that you have a great day!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I like Griffin, but last night I thought about Hudson, they're both great names. I don't know. I like Griffin Hudson Gillingwater. Is what I think. It's a cute name, I am thinking about locking my diary what do you think? There's this one chic that is always being really mean to me. Like she's left soo many notes that are really rude. I swear that everything that I write about is true. Anyways let me know what you think about me locking my diary.
from betchy :
i actually love hudson!!! i think i even like it more than griffin!! both names are lovely though. its your choice honey!!! i dont really like many boys names, i really like taylor, its not very popular here, but i think it is quite popular in the states isnt it?
from yellowrosetx :
I like Griffin,I think we've all come to accept him as Griffin here in Diaryland! HEE! HEE! We're all just one big happy family! Just Kidding!! All joking aside, Hudson would be a cute middle name!Things are a little smoother with the hubbie, but I won't get too excited b/c just as I think he's turning a new leaf, he will dissapoint me as he generally does! Only time will tell!
from aidawrites :
Yeah that would be weird, and I'm not too fond of Fletcher anyway....sounds nerdy, lol. Actually I was a bit mistaken, Hudson is not AS popular as Griffin, there are off by 100. But thats not that much difference, Both names are equally handsome. I'm glad my girl name isnt that popular yet, It's Charlotte and I love it, I used to love Isabella but its so damn popular now, and I cant believe Emma is #2, I bet it's because of the show Friends, you know, Rachel's baby daughter.
from aidawrites :
I was looking it up and Hudson is just as popular as Griffin, they are both in the 200s of babies named last year. But it's not as bad as Caleb though, turns out it's become quite popular these past few years, so much for naming my kid that, I'll have to go with Gavin or Chase or Caden...lol, I'm not even pregnant, I'm not even having sex, I dont even have a boyfriend, and I'm already thinking about this stuff, Its so much fun though, pathetic, but fun nonetheless. I cant believe I cant use Caleb, i'm so upset!
from aidawrites :
I like Griffin, its really grown on me. Hudson sounds strong, reminds me of the Hudson River and Rock Hudson, actually now that I think about it, I dont know of anyone with the name Hudson for a first name. Its good though, different. Just please dont name your child Maximillion or whatever that is, it sounds horrid. It's such a big responsibility to name a person. If I have a son I want to name him Caleb, but I'm sure I'll change my mind a million times when the time comes.
from princesstosh :
Are you sure they cant be shortened? I am forever giving nicknames and shortening names. Griffin could be Griff and Hudson could be Hud, although that doesnt sound very good. I like both, but I was getting really fond of Griffin. Have you picked a middle name? Because, they need to blend, ya know? Oh, and I couldnt get your comments section to work.You might check it out.
from girlygirl83 :
Also I forgot to say that I'm sorry that I've been slacking on my notes. I'm gonna do better though :)
from girlygirl83 :
Hey girl, I just wanted to say that I think htat your extremely strong and bright! I love every idea that you have! I thin kthat reading to him is an excellent Idea. I think that I love that name griffin! I also don't think that its a very used name,but it is an adorible name. Thank you for all of your notes to me I really appericate them! You have helped me beyond words. I hope that everything goes good at your doctors appt today. I hope that you have a good day today
from betchy :
i cant blame you for being angry with mike, i guess i would be too if i was in your situation. as for griffins, the only one i can think of is griffin dunne, who plays the teacher that vada has a crush on in my girl. but i dont think that counts. i have definately never known a griffin, especially not in this country. you have to keep that name now, its lovely!!! xxx
from manda-d :
John is named after his dad, so that wasn't hard for me. But Kaylee took a lot of time to think out. I had never even heard the name Kaylee when I was pregnant with her. I liked the name Kayla, but my best friend beat me to that one. So I took Kay and my best friend's middle name is Lea. So I got Kaylee. Well that movie Quest for Camelot came out in 98 and the girls name in that movie is Kayle. Now there are Kayle's everywhere and it drives me nuts! My husband's niece is named Kayle as well. So we have 2 in our family. It is very disappointing because I wanted her to have an original name. *shrugs* But I really DO like Griffin a lot. And the 200th most popular, well that's pretty far down on the list... Anyway, my ex husband can see my kids whenever he wants. Legally, he gets them every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm. At first, it drove me insane. Kaylee was only 11 months old when we divorced. I HATED sending my kids to his house, I cried and worried the whole weekend. But now, my relationship with their dad is much better. He picks them up from school several nights a week because he gets off before I do. I just pick them up from his house instead of school. Sometimes he'll come get them and spend the day with them on the my weekends and vice versa. I am very cooperative with him... though it took a while to get to that point. It was hard. But now, frankly I enjoy the break. And honestly we make a pretty good team, as far as parents who don't live in the same house. He coaches John's football team and I am the team mom. We go to parent/teacher conferences together and what not. We take turns going on field trips and school functions (so we both don't have to take off on the same day). It works out pretty well for the most part. I know it's hard, but you'll figure out what's best for you and Griffin. ((hugs)) No worries.
from aidawrites :
I dont know any Griffins. You have to keep that name and the spelling! Oh, and I think that having a baby is going to weed out all the jerks and the guys what arent serious about you. So thats the good thing about being a single mom. :)
from dandlioneyes :
glad things are looking up! i don't know any griffins. and plus, you have been calling him that for months now, wouldn't it be weird to change. it is a lovely name!
from yellowrosetx :
In TX, the cheapest daycare we found was over $700 and that was an individual and they only kept kids up to 2. That was partly why I decided to stay home with K. We were putting so much into daycare and where I worked was @ an hour away, so that meant less time with K. I know you probably don't have that option, but maybe you will get lucky and find something cheaper. Good Luck!
from yellowrosetx :
Definitely track ALL your baby expenses (medical, food, formula, diapers, clothes, basically any necessity!) Also, according to TX and AR law, the non-custodial parent has to pay child support and Insure the minor. Keep a spreadsheet of everything...sometimes that helps! Good Luck! I'm glad things are looking/sounding better for you! Take Care dear!
from sweet-cynic :
don't know any griffins! and even though it was the 212th most popular name in 98.. i think perhaps you're safe? also wanted to thank you for everything.. all the friendly supportive notes you've given me. you're an absolute sweetheart and i'm so happy you sound happier.
from princesstosh :
Nope, I've never known any Griffins. Maybe its just a coincidence that theres a little boy named that, there. In any case, name him what you want. I really like Griffin. Did you decide on a middle name, yet? You sound so much happier, I'm glad to hear it. Talk to you soon!
from starlight42 :
I don't know any Griffin's. I don't think it's very common. Also, $700 for daycare does sound about right. When I worked in daycare 4 yrs. ago it was $190 a week up until age 2! That's crazy.
from science-boy :
Just because it's more popular now, doesn't mean it's all that popular. It's like one in 200 or something like that. Or is it one in 2,000? Either way, stay away from Catesby, please? Go with Griffin. It's what you want. Forget everyone else. If you did decide to go with more popular names, I am a big fan of Matthew, David, and more of the biblical names: Daniel, Joseph, Ezekiel and Zachariah. Oh and Nebuchadnezzer is a good one to help them learn to write. Have a great day! s-b
from kris-tee :
About the daycare thing, after age two they are considered toddlers and the price drops. It is so expensive. Even for a toddler, you can charge 100-125 a week around here.
from elliemay23 :
Didn't you know that guys find pregnant women attractive? I worked at a golf course when I first became pregnant and I got hit on more after I started showing than I did before. There is just something about pregnancy that men find sexy. Oh well. I don't know any Griffin's. I don't think that it is that common of a name. Take care and have a good day. xoxo, Ellie
from betchy :
maybe mike is just feeling the way you did a few weeks ago, you know one minute excited, the next wishing it hadnt happened, one minute cant wait for the baby to be here, the next wishing he wasnt coming at all. i dont mean that horribly towards you, but if you read back over some of you entries you were a bit all over the place for a while, understandably, maybe mike is feeling like that. the only difference is he can stay away from the whole situation, whereas you couldnt because griffin is inside you. am i making sense?
from manda-d :
Take my advice... take Mike's money. There will be a certain percentage (it's 21% in TN) for one child. Your baby is entitled to that money, whether you need it or not. You can always put every cent in a savings account if you don't need it... But trust me, one day you will need it. It's always something when kids start school. Yearbooks, field trips, lunch money, parties, supplies, etc. It never ends. And even before school, child care expenses are insane!!
from aidawrites :
I totally agree, whenever I hear a skinny celebrity say, I eat whatever I want! I want to stranggle them, lying bullimic cokehead bitches! LOL, anyway, yeah, I bet J Lo is Pregnant, she's always been obsessed with having a family, plus her clock is ticking. I just hope Jennifer Anniston gives Brad a baby soon cus she isnt getting any younger!
from betchy :
i think your plan concerning mike sounds like a good one, and i think that your summer plans of resting and tanning will do you the world of good!!!! fenton is sucha freak, he came round with boss last night, and boss was talking about where they are watching the football at the weekend, and he said to fenton to invite nicki, and fenton just sort of shrugged. he is so weird!!! never mind. i dont think he does like me in that way, just as a mate, but never mind hey!! hope you have a good day today sweetie!!!!
from sweet-cynic :
i'm leaving a note telling you what happened since i can't write in my diary for fear of him reading... i guess don't leave notes regarding it yet unless i write about it. well a couple of days ago doug asked me hypothetically if i would mind him living with girls.. he posed the question so it looked like it was hypothetical but in reality he was testing me to see. told him instantly of the girl i KNOW i wont be okay with.. and he answered he knew skankass was out of the question. la la la.. question wasn't that unsettling. Today i check his email and skankass emailed him.. it sounded like a response. she was talking about how it would be great to live with him and she already asked her parents and for him to call her... i'm like wtf? i go to the gym to meet him and his brother to work out.. and his brother was there before him. asked his advice and his brother said he knew doug was entertaining thoughts about living with skankass and assumed doug told me since it IS a big thing. i play it cool.. worked out.. ate lunch with doug and after lunch i asked him calmly if he was ever merely entertaining thoughts of living with skankass.. nevermind PLANNING.. jsut THINKING about it.. and he said no. looked me straight in the eye and said no when HER email and HIS brother told me otherwise. i mentioned his brother told me, and he said his brother must have misunderstood him... killed me right there. i didnt bring up the email.. i don't know if i should persist it until he tells me the truth or just drop it. i dunno. it sucks. we havent talked since my asking.
from r-y-r :
I recently reviewed you for Unique Views and was wondering how you were doing and saw you were locked. I would love it if you gave me the password. If you like you can send it to my notes or my email @ [email protected] Thanks
from aidawrites :
He's cute, but he seems kinda off. Yesterday he asked if I wanted to get a beer after work and I told him no because I had to go to the gym. Then he called me again to see how my work out had been, wierd. This other guy, Chad who I met this weekend called me last night too, he wants to have dinner, maybe I should have chinesse with him to see what my cookie says about him! Glad you mom has friends she can relate to, I'm sure that will help a ton. stay dry! It's pouring here too!
from betchy :
hey you, hope you are having a good day. i have written 3 entries today, and i have hardly done any work. uh-oh!!! fenton just came in to see me, he isnt sure he wants to have a relationship with that nicki, because he doesnt like being tied down. i said that was stupid, that he cant keep being a player forever, and she was really lovely and really pretty, then he told me it wasnt all about looks!!! made me sound shallow!!! hey ho. how are you today??? i think having a talk with mike is a really good idea, at least then you can stop all the worrying, it must be driving you mad having all that stuff on your brain, as well as worrying about little griffin. i cant wait until you can post photos of him, i just know he is going to be gorgeous!!! leave me a note soon sweetie, i really should do some work now, i have gotten away with it all day, i think my luck might run out in a min!!! laterz xxx
from manda-d :
If it concerns you that much, just don't tell Mike when you go into labor. If he isn't there to sign the birth certificate, then the baby will automatically have your last name AND he will have to prove he's the father (which will take a lot of time and money). But the down side to that, he wouldn't have to pay you child support.
from aidawrites :
Im glad to hear that Cameron is dating Ace, although i feel bad for Mallory, she was cute too. I could not believe the JLo story when i heard it this morning, i have always defended her cus i think she is fabulous when it comes to clothes, but now im sure she is just NUTS. She cant meet someone without marrying them. And Marc Anthony is SO ugly. Ben isnt Brad Pitt but at least he was better, she's always had bad taste for men I guess. I almost feel sorry for her. I totally adore Josh Harnette, i heard he is still dating his high school sweet heart. I loved Pearl Harbour, but it reminds me of Matt because we used to watch it together, (He has a fascination with WWII planes) Cold Mountain was totally amazing, plus Nicole Kidman had my name in the movie, so that totally rocked. I cried in Cold Mountain through the whole movie. I remember i went to see it alone in the theater and was covered in tears in the scene where they have sex, and i was thinking about Matt and suddenly my phone vibrates and i see its Matt, anyway that threw me over the edge and I sobbed for a good while. LOL, im so sad.
from aidawrites :
I finished the book this weekend. Now, because of my bittermood on love at the moment, I didnt LOVE the story. Sure, its cute, but there are no surprises, everything is pretty expected. There is a sad reality at the end though, I did cry a little. I love war/love stories though, Ive seen In Love and War a million times, I'll go see this one too. Did you see Cold Mountain? I wish i would have read that book first before I saw the movie.
from starlight42 :
That's a good point about the money. I think that as long as the mother feels that way, a father should only be able to see his kid if he's paying for things. At least something. It's not fair you should have to carry everything on your shoulders. Men! Ugh, they're so dumb. Well, I just hope things change with Mike. I think no matter what, a child always ends up wanting to find his biological parents, in most cases anyway. It's not that they weren't loved, but it's just curiosity. Good luck!
from aidawrites :
Now I want a baby! heehee, it just sounds so cute, you are filled with so much love for little Griffin, its amazing. I really cant wait to be a mother someday, I know I'm going to just be crazy in love with a baby.(If it ever happens) Sometimes i like to pretend Anthony (my baby brother) is mine, when i'm out with him and people tell me my son is cute, i just say Thanks. Weird huh? Sometimes he even calls me mom, it really touches my heart. You are right though about Ian being a present figure or not, It's like the concept of divorce, sure it's traumatic for children, but its even worse to see your parents fight constantly. I doubt Mike will give up his rights as a father,maybe he just doesnt understand what it means to be legally and physically involved. Is he a smart guy usually? It's good that you have faith that you will rebuild your life and find someone someday. I'm so bitter, im beginning to think it is not my destiny, its like i'm good at everything else except in the love department and maybe i should just accept it. It wouldnt be so bad, concentrating on my career and helping others. Becoming a lawyer, travel, that sort of thing. About the baby looking like you, I hope your genes are strong! Because usually the baby is a combination of both, although in my case and my brothers, we look nothing like our father. I'll keep my fingers crossed!
from aidawrites :
A reunion would only happen if this were a novel, but real life isnt such. He is the only man I've ever truly really loved, so it's hard to not think about him coming back into my life. Then again, realistically, and he brought this up when we talked, my parents hate him, my friends despise him, so it couldnt even work if we wanted it to. I know my mom would disown me and my father wanted to kill him at one point. Anyway, it isnt worth talking about anymore because we will never be. About your Mike situation, he is 22 and by that means, young, but he is acting as if he were 12. I think I had more sense than that when I was 12, then again, men are known to mature much slower. It's very hard to grow up with one parent, I cant even begin to imagine it, but i'm sure its emotionally diffifult for children. Mike is the father God gave your baby, and you have a tough job in deciding what is best for Griffin, a part-time dad or no dad at all. I guess thats why it's good you are seeking the help of proffesionals who are experts in these cases, hopefully they will give you the facts you need so you can do what's best for your son. Wow, your son, kinda huge of a concept, does the thought still overwhelm you or are you pretty much in touch with the reality of it?
from aidawrites :
It's true, as hard as it is sometimes, honesty is best answer, especially in your situation. As far as Matt and I, there is no chance in hell we would ever get back together, Orlando is about 4 hours away, and even if he lived nearby it would never work out for the reason that i doubt he would want to get back together. I think in our situation, he probably feels badly about what he did, but he no longer loves me, it's been a year after all. This is why i'm so perplexed in why he called me, was it to clear his conscience or to show me he still cared? I'm dumbfounded.
from aidawrites :
I'm okay, Matt called and we talked for a long time, i'm about to post it all in a second.
from betchy :
the only risk with cutting him off is that he may turn nasty, and if he demands to see his son, that is when he will take you through the courts. i dont think you need to take action as drastic as that just yet. i know you cant help but worry, but has mike even mentioned anything like having custody of griffin? i doubt he has even thought about it. and even if it did go that way, as the mother he would hardly even have a case. if you were naughty, and had done stuff in the past or had a police record or something then maybe he would stand a chance (if it ever got to that) but seriously, i think it will be ok. fenton has got a job now, but it is voluntary work, helping young offenders. because he was a prolific offender, and has been there and done that, he cant be paid for the work he does with them, but it is quite good what he does, and he really enjoys it. i think i'd rather be his mate though, because the birds he does stuff with he doesnt ever speak to again, but me and him get on really well. i doubt whether it will last with this nicki, i kind of hope it does, she is so nice!!! and if it doesnt he will probably never speak to her again. at least i dont have to worry about that!!! anyway gotta go, thinking of you, beckz xx
from aidawrites :
Wow, Mike is being a total idiot. It seems like he hasnt grasped the reality of things, he doesnt have a freaking clue. You would think his parents would be putting some sense into him. Geez. I think you need to have a serious talk with him, just tell him you are sick of his immature bullshit (in other words of course) If he doesnt straighten up asap just tell him you would rather do this on your own without him because he is obviously not helping any. He's such a moron. Men are useless.
from betchy :
babe, dont take this the wrong way, but i really think you are imagining the worst, and things wont be anywhere near as bad as you are imagining them to be. look at your parents, they were brilliant. i'm sure mike will agree to the name thing, and he wont try to take griffin away from you. i know what you're doing though, if you imagine the worst possible scenario, not only are you prepared for the worst, however it turns out will seem good compared to what you're imagining. i do that too. but dont do it so much that it plays on your mind and you cant think of anything else. you still need to enjoy yourself, and enjoy the pregnancy. and you need to be totally focused on griffin, he needs his mummy to be happy, not worried all the time!!! really am nowhere near as gutted as i thought i would be about fenton having a girlfriend, i think partly because she was just so lovely!!!! my hangover has gone now, thank god i felt like absolute shit this morning!!! and i will keep you in my prayers sweetie, dont worry about that!!! keep happy and smiling, hugz beckz xxx
from starlight42 :
Hey- don't know what to tell you about the Mike thing. I guess it's a hard decision to make. Hopefully you can sit down with him & get an idea of where he's coming from. I think it might be wise to give it a bit more time. See how he handles things when Griffin is born. I don't know, so many young guys are dads lately & they just don't have a clue. They might not be able to be great dads, but even if they spend some time with their baby, give the mother some support...I think it's better in the long run. I mean, you want your baby to know his father. Unless Mike is involved in shady things or stuff like that. I recommend seeing how things progress.
from betchy :
hi ali, hope you had a good weekend, i so did!!!! i saw a really nice poncho yesterday and i thought of you, it was pale pink, like a lacy material, with nice patterns and tassles at the bottom. i'm making it sound really minging but its not, i swear!!!! fenton has got a girlfriend!!!! i've written all about it in my todays entry, i thought i would be really gutted, but i'm not at all, so i think i do only like him as a friend, i'm just in awe of him because of how good looking he is!!! anyway, hope your weekend was as fun as mine speak lata, beckz xxx
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I'm really sorry that Mike isn't being supportive at all. I agree with you about him. He should be more responsible. I'm also sorry that you hate your job so much at least you only have 2 more weeks!!!!! Its cute to read you talk about Griffin! I'm really excited about him and you. I gotta go my grandpa just got mad at me I'll talk to you later
from krazieespy :
Just a note to say hi, i notice we share a few of the same buddies. Kind of curious to read your diary. So if you could give me a code to read, I would appreciate it :) Thanks!
from aidawrites :
Oh yeah, if I get this one I wouldnt get any more. I've had just one for 6 years now, I think 2 is more than enough. Britney has like 12 actually, they are all over, looks gross, but I actually like Angelina Jolie with her tattoos, she just looks good because it fits her personality. I'm going to get something on my lower back, very typical i know, but I think its super sexy.
from aidawrites :
Yeah, thanks. Do you mean the one on my profile? I think I'm going to go with the eternal cross tattoo with the sun behind it. I'm going to see about getting it soon.
from aidawrites :
how about this one? http://www.geocities.com/aidances/suntattoo.bmp
from yellowrosetx :
Ali, speaking from experience, keep a diary of EVERYTHING Mike says, does, or does not do, everything he buys for the baby, if he's been to Dr. appts, if he helps pay hospital bills, etc. It will help in court if you have to go and will establish for the judge/court how sincere he is about being a parent. It should help your case if you do decide you want to relinquish his rights. I'm not saying that the baby shouldn't know his Daddy, but in some cases its best not to(i.e. LANNE's case. She can probably expound more!). Take Care honey and hang in there!! Hugs!
from aidawrites :
Yeah i want to get something like that, maybe i'll go with that one for my lower back.Do you really like it? I have a dolphin on my ankle but I really want another one. Oh, and I wouldnt get a Britney Spears tattoo, although i do like the one she has.
from aidawrites :
quick question, what do you think of this tattoo? http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/tattoo/celeb-anastacia.htm
from aidawrites :
I appreciate that! I'm just trying not to think about it, and its working, mostly i'm just numb to it, although i'm not sure what its going to do subconsciencely. I was a hard core Mickey Mouse Club fan too. I actually auditioned for it, but they said I was a little too young at the time. I did see Christina Aguilera at the audition though, I thought she acted stuck up. Jessica Simpson also didnt make it, she was horrible. I think for the character in The Notebook i would have liked someone more masculine than Ryan Gosling, he seems too boyish, It's a very sexual character, but we'll see, maybe he has it in him. Remember when he was dating Sandra Bulluck, i thought that was plain weird, she could have been his mom.
from betchy :
jay is quite a common name round these parts, but i dont really like it as a first name, its ok as a middle name though. fentons brother is called stewart jay, so maybe i am a bit biased!!! i do really like griffin james though. it is a really sweet name. but with griffin michael you could kill 2 birds with one stone. mike would like it, and it means gift from god. so its doubly sweet. oh, i dont know, who am i to talk, i dont even have a baby!!! glad you like the new layout!!
from aidawrites :
Yeah, im doing much better, just really glad the weekend is here, well almost. I like Ryan Gosling, i think he is cute, but i dont think he is good for that role in The Notebook. But we'll see, i have to see the movie first. The book is amazing, i stayed up all night reading it, you should get it.
from betchy :
no, no pictyre, thats all it is, but i am so crap, i cant do anything at all, so onewetleg did it for me. i like it because now my title for each day shows up, and it looks a lot better than before and its easier to read. i'm sure mike wouldnt come up with anything stupid as a name, perhaps you could have griffin michael?? i bet he'd like that idea, and it does sound quite sweet!!!!
from betchy :
i really think that griffin is a lush name. you have to stick with that for sure. glad you got things sorted with your sister, hope you have a lovely weekend sweetie xxx
from yellowrosetx :
I wish they had that cute of maternity clothes when I was pregnant with K. Maybe I would have felt better about how I looked!! HA! HA! I too felt fat, but I look back now and I really wasn't. I think every pregnant woman goes through that "feeling fat" stage!I bet you look absolutely beautiful pregnant!! Hugs!
from evildilara :
hey, let me in your diary and I'll let you into mine!
from manda-d :
Thanks :-) Yes, I was very young when I had my kids... 19 when I had John and 22 when I had Kaylee. We are all growing up together, ha ha.
from science-boy :
The worst part is that it really is true! In the future I'll remember to warn you about any rodent stories. Especially amorous rodentia! Sorry! OXOX s-b
from betchy :
i have just re-read my note and my typing was appalling, sorry. that strange looking word was actually meant to be realise, and where it says ben, it should say been. soz hun!!!
from betchy :
it does make me sick, yes. but i think you have the right attitude now. she will be missing out when she hears people go on and on about how adorable griffin is, when she hears them talk about his first smile and first steps. and she will regret how she has treated you, and read=lise she could have ben part of it. seriously though, stick to your guns, and let her come to you. if she says sorry, or at the very least, starts treating you like a sister should, then fine, let her be part of things, but if she doesnt dont. simple as that. hope you have a better thursday, beckz xxx
from kissssy :
Hugggss! I'm soooo happy you finally told your mom! And, I'm just thrilled things look on the up and up for you! Hopefully now is when things will start to get exciting! You can't not enjoy shopping for nursery stuff... picking out designs and furniture and... It was probably my favorite part about being pregnant! And, you're the mom. The baby stays with you. In my eyes, that's only natural. Yes of course... YAY daddies who want to be a part of their child's life, but a baby has an immediate connection with his mom. He has to BUILD a connection with daddy. It would tear both of you to break that even a little bit. Glad things look brighter!
from manda-d :
They are both being so wonderful... I'm so happy for you. I hope that some day you'll also be able to repair the realtionship with your sister.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey! First of all I want to say that I'm really proud of you for telling your parents. Second of all I'm soo sorry that everyone is being mean to you that sucks. They should all be nice. I think that it sometimes is hard for people to understand what your going through. Like when my sister was pregnant. She and I hated each other. Not really, but she was really mean, but afterward we became alot closer. So I'm saying that maybe when this is all done you two will be alot more closer. I guess that's just me rambling. I hope that didn't make you mad. I'm still praying for you! I hope that it all gets better. I' m sure that yoru parents will be supportive.
from betchy :
you are exactly right. nothing is happening to her, she needs to understand that. she needs to be there for you, and support you, shes your big sister!!! if she cant see that is the human way to behave then that is her problem not yours. you shouldnt have to keep going out of your way for her stick to your guns babe, and let her come to you, you have done enough. and remeber, you are the one going through this xxx
from betchy :
yes, it does come naturally usually, but some people have the unfortunance to have an extremely difficult person in their family. stop trying so hard with her. the reason she is like she is, is because everyone runs around after her. look at you today, e mailing her time and again, saying sorry, you didnt even do anything wrong!!!! i used to have a friend like that, who could be really lovely, but she used to get the hump over really stupid small things. sometimes i didnt even realise i had upset her, and then out of nowhere i would get a text calling me a user, or a selfish bitch. she did it to everyone, and everyone else would be scared, and phoning her up to apologise, whereas i never would. i'd just think "she's the one who threw the paddy, she insulted me why should i do anything about it." do you know what, within a few days, she would always phone me saying sorry. always. people like that get a kick out of having people run around for the privelidge of having them talk to them. but if they think that someone is mad at them they sure do worry. stop trying so hard with her, and make her come to you. this is about you not her. even if everyone else plays her game, and lets her think its her issue, dont you give in to her. stop saying sorry, and trying to get her involved, she should do that anyway. like you said you shouldnt have to try so hard, she's your sister for fucks sake!!!! she should want to support you!! if she doesnt, then its her loss sweetheart not yours. dont keep dwelling on it because she will make you feel bad, and you shouldnt have to anymore. you have felt bad for long enough, its time for you to start enjoying the last part of your pregnancy, now you have people you love to share it with. dont let her spoil it for you. take care hun, beckz xxx
from betchy :
babe, as you have said many, many times your sister is extremely jealous of you (who wouldnt be?) this pregnancy was the one thing that, as far as she was concerned was going to make you look bad, and make your parents mad at you, hence making her look good, and the reason she went on at you to tell them so much. now, not only have they not been mad, they have been more supportive than you could have dreamed, and also to add insult to injury, they are excited. so you dont look bad. and now she is trying to do anything she can to make you look silly. thats all it is ali, its just jealousy. tell your mum you tried to say sorry and she wouldnt have it. make HER look bad. that'll teach her. you're a better and stronger person, just remeber that. and you're prettier. ha! hugz, beckz xxx
from aidawrites :
So glad to hear that your parents know and that everything turned out great. I'm sure you feel a million times better now that you have their suport. I hope things work out with your sister, you would think she would be more understanding about this whole thing, but she is acting like a brat. Anyway, my last few days have been a mess, I dont know if I can even write about it, I'm very proud and I dont want people to have pitty on me. Maybe I'm just having a bad week.
from betchy :
babe, i am so pleased about your parents reaction!!!! hell, I felt relieved when i read that you had told them, so god knows how good you must feel. as for your sister, well there always has to be a fly in the ointment, and it looks like its her, but dont let her bring you down now that you feel good. you have a wonderful family that is willing to support you no matter what, and a beautiful baby on the way. you have far more blessings than she does, so just keep that in mind when she starts sticking her oar in. even your mum says your prettier, (which you are, by FAR), so focus on that!!!! i know its shallow and irrelevant, but it has to make you feel better!!! take care babe, sooooooooo happy for you, speak lata, beckz xxx
from saucy99 :
YAY! I'm so happy for you! Don't you feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders? That's wonderful news that your parents were so supportive!
from jess1976 :
I'm sooooooooooooooooo happy for you!! You sound so much better now that you have gotten this heavy burden off your chest. You are so blessed to have such a loving and caring mother. You have so much to look forward to and now it's even easier with the support of your parents.
from yellowrosetx :
I'm so glad you confided in your Mom. It sounds as though things are going to work out better than expected and that things are taking a more positive turn. You sound more optimistic and even a little excited. Tell your Mom she's the best!! Ali, I'm very glad things are getting better for you!! Keep us posted on your pregnancy!! Take Care! Hugs to you and the Griffin!! Have a great day!!
from eggsaucted :
It will be ok. No one is excited about showing. But there are things you can be excited about and enjoy. Any father who would sleep on their daughters floor, will love her dispite an unplanned pregnancy. My guess is, he'll be surprised, but thrilled to be getting a grandson. You should see my dad and my daughter. I know how hard it is to find the way to tell your parents, but once it's done and once mostly everyone knows, it really does feel a lot easier. I know I told you this before I know you thought I was full of it. But it's hard to see how hard it is while you're keeping the secret.
from yellowrosetx :
I just wanted to check on you Ali!! Hope all is well! We started a new review site. You should come check it out. http://mommaviews.diaryland.com Have a great Memorial Day. E-mail me if you need to chat!
from kris-tee :
Hey, I just left you an email!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey. I'm glad that you talked to your brother. He sounds sooo sweet! YAY! You need alot of people in your life that are nice to you right now. As do I. I hope that You have a great weekend. I woudln't be suprized if your parents handle it really well. Everyone else in your family is handling it really good! I hope thaty ou have a great weekend!! Oh and your right about that guy. I just don't think that i"m strong enough to handle it. I would need people to back me up.
from betchy :
honey, i'm so sorry that you feel down in th dumps again, i wish i could say something to make you feel better, but i dont think that i can. i think you just have to look at the good stuff, like the fact that you're brother is o.k with things, things are o.k with mike (even though he didnt call last night) and his parents are going to be supportive, and you're going to have this close knit group of friends that all understand whats going on because they have all beeen through it!! sorry i havent spoken much this week, i have had such nightmares at work you wouldnt believe. hope you have agood weekend, and that positive feeling comes back. be thinking of you sweetie, take care, beckz xxx
from kissssy :
Wow. I did that too. When we finally conceived, I suddenly contacted an old friend of mine that has children. I hadn't talked to her since her daughter was born 3 years ago. Funny. I never realized I did that. But, I have the same train of thought. Her second love was born last November, so our boys can grow up together. Hm. I really didn't want to turn anyone off of breastfeeding (thankfully you weren't going to anyway). It can be amazing, if you have time, patience, and energy. Three things I lack. Lol.
from betchy :
hello, sorry i didnt leave a note yesterday, i wasnt in the office. sooooooooo glad to hear you sounding positive!!!! it lokks like things could go pretty well with mike then, thats good!!!! and i really dont think michelle will be offended and think that you are just making friends because you're pregnant, she was probably delighted you got in contact. i'm really glad you are starting to feel better babe, just think, from now on, the only way is up!!!! speak lata, beckz xxxx
from girlygirl83 :
Hey. I'm glad that you had fun last night. I'm also glad that mike is comeing around. It makes things alot easier when he comes around I'm sure! I hope that I'm strong enough to go to court if I ever had to. Some how though I don't think that I would be. It wouldn't be very pleasurable at all and frankly It wouldn't be somethng that I would do. I refuse. Anyways. I'm glad that things are working out for you!!! You sound alot more positive today.
from aidawrites :
I think she is, but i would be too, he is beautiful. (at least i think so) Yeah, im sure you can catch a rerun on that channel.
from aidawrites :
Tara was such a hypocritical bitch I wanted to strangle her. She looked so stupid on there, Trish totally won the fight. I can't believe I was rooting for Trish, but at least she was honest. Anyway Jesse and Jessica "claimed" to be together, but it just seemed too fake. Then Jessica claimed to be Trish's and Tara's friend as well, but I think Tara secretly hates Jessica. Jen, Andrew Firestone's ex was also on the show, she broke up with Bill, anyway it was a good interview, she looked really pretty. She started crying when she talked about Andrew.
from tanprincess :
i know i dont have to be serious w/ b'ham and that i am still single, but i do like him and i know how much he likes me and i would just feel kind of guilty seeing someone else while i was seeing him. even though i can do that because i.am.single. i just dont want to hurt anyones feelings or anything. i dont know maybe this weekend i'll figure something out? glad your friend emailed you back and you are planning to reunite sometime. i wish me and my x-roommate/friend from college could reconcile. she is getting married in july and i thought about sending her a congrats card, but i'm not sure how she'd take it? maybe i should just leave well enough alone?
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, Your entry today made me almost cry. About how you wanted to be happy and be a great mom! I'm sure that you will be a wonderful mom. I hope that your doing better!
from kissssy :
Oh, I'm not done with my pictures page yet. But, we have tons of baby pics on his online baby book: http://www.minibite.com/allred
from kissssy :
I do understand how different the situations are. Out of all the expectant mothers I know, I'm actually one of the very few who tried (for almost 2 years) to get pregnant. But, I think to myself now that if Jason and I ever fall out of love, I still have the best thing that's ever happened to me laying right against my left arm as I type this. I guess what I'm trying to say is... it may take both a mother and a father to make a baby, but it doesn't have to take both of them to provide a loving home for him. You can do this. You have to try to believe that.
from aliboomboom :
I'm still locked but if you want in, then please email me at [email protected]
from kissssy :
I'm going to sit here and pretend I didn't read half of that. Because, I know... that when you finally do tell your parents... when your baby finally enters this world... when everything is said and done with, you are going to look into those bright little eyes, feel that unconditional love only a mother can feel for her child, and realize that you don't actually want a do over. Hugs! Stay strong!
from eggsaucted :
Hey dear, No updates today? You ok? You know you can email me if you ever want.
from jess1976 :
Have you considered going to see a counselor for real? Just to talk about how you're feeling and to know that you are NOT alone! I have gone to counselors in the past and found it to be very helpful. I wish I could do something for you to take your pain away!
from dandlioneyes :
okay, ali. i'm glad to hear it. do this for yourself. and hold on to the fact that y ou'll have a beautiful baby boy soon!
from betchy :
i doubt that they pity you, sweetie, they probably just appreciate that you are going through a hard time at the moment, and want you to know that they will be there for their grandchild. you could end up having a really good relationship with them, and the more people around to support you, the better!!!! i'm real sorry i cant write too much today, i am so busy, some idiot lied and said his girlfriend was in hospital, so he was coming in to collect her money, we phoned her at the hospital, and she says they have split up!!! so we've got the fraud squad on the case, and i could be here until quite late!!! i will leave you a proper note tomorrow ok sweetie, take it easy, beckz xxx
from jess1976 :
Sending lots of hugs your way. I'm sorry to see you go through such a rough time! I am praying that all goes well for you.
from betchy :
babe you dont have to say sorry for the way you are feeling.it isnt your fault you feel the way you do. i think that mike calling you everyday is a good sign, and he does obviously care about the baby a great deal. and doesnt it feel nice that you have his parents support? o.k its not the same as having your own parents support, but they still dont know, so at least you know you have mikes parents on-side. you'll be ok sweetz, i know you will. speak lata, beckz xxx
from yellowrosetx :
I hope you find this encouraging...I have been through so much in my life: an abusive father, health issues, the divorce of my parents, a rocky marriage, and "K" having a tumor. Everytime a rough incident arose/ocurred... I questioned myself, my faith, and God, but every time I have survived b/c I am strong, I'm a fighter/survivor, and God never gives anything we can't handle. I draw my strength from my support networks, and most importantly from "K." I've learned to laugh at life's "lemons" and treat each situation with a child's mentality; you get knocked down, you cry, you get back up! I won't lie and say any of it was easy, or that I didn't get emotional, frustrated, or feel defeated, but I am stronger b/c of the trials in my life. Please give yourself some credit Ali, be strong and courageous, and most importantly, love yourself!! Have faith in God! Reach out to your friends and family if you need a listening/comforting ear, a voice of reason, or a hug. They love you and WILL be there for you, no matter what! Take Care!! Please Smile! It will get better!
from dandlioneyes :
i'm glad to hear it. it really helped me with some issues i was going through. just knowing i had someone objective, not someone who was partial.... hang in there.
from kissssy :
It happened to you because believe it or not, you ARE ready for this. You CAN do this. Everything will feel much better once you get it off your chest, regardless of how your parents react. If you tell them and they get angry, they WILL get over it. The sooner the better... I think it would bother them more if you wait until the pregnancy is almost over. It would feel like you felt you couldn't tell them. And, to a mom... (at least from my perspective) it would hurt knowing your children felt they couldn't confide in you. Ali, tell them! You'll feel better. If you keep waiting, you'll just drive yourself mad trying to keep it from them a little longer. Don't put it off much longer... You'll definitely drive yourself crazy. Hugs!!
from eggsaucted :
Who would go to a baby store and put your name in just to see if you were registered unless they knew? I told you I was subjected to three baby showers, 2 of which were surprises. At least I ended up saving a ton of money since I didn't have to buy her anything.
from eggsaucted :
I so did not want to have a baby shower, but registering doesn't mean you have to. It means that people who want to get the baby a gift can. It is sort of fun.
from eggsaucted :
You don't have to promise me, you have to promise your self and I promise you will feel better. It won't make you unpregnant, but it will feel better not to hide it anymore. Hey did Angie talk you into registering?
from princesstosh :
I hope I didnt hurt your feelings. I was just trying to tell you I see your situation now. I wish you all the best in the world, Ali. I really do.
from eggsaucted :
You do have to carry the baby, but you do not have to carry the burden of a secret. Getting it out in the open will really help and you will see how much better it feels to be loved and supported.
from eggsaucted :
Sweetie - She's not ignoring it, she's telling you in everyway she knows how that she loves you and wants to help you and will support you no matter what. She told you there was nothing you couldn't get through together. She means that. She may not be saying Ali darling I know you're pregnant why won't you just tell me, she's telling you exactly that in different ways. I know how hard this is. I really do. I spent days and days and days trying to figure out in my head how to tell my mom. I never figured it out. Nothing ever felt right. But when she knew and when everyone knew it was so much easier than carrying a secret around. Being pregnant is hard enough without the burden of hiding it from the people who love and care about you. I'm trying to be mean. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm trying to tell you what you aren't seeing. A mother's love is unconditional. What they want to do more than anything is help their children, no matter what or how big the problem/burden may be.
from dandlioneyes :
not to be giving you MORE advice - since you seem to be getting an awful lot of it - but i would just say this: mabe you want to consider going to counseling? i mean, actively pursuing it? i had some serious issues in the fall, and just making an appointment to see someone and talk to them made a huge difference to me. just having an APPOINTMENT. not to mention the actual talking.
from easyreviews :
Hey! Have you heard of Easy Reviews? We need people to request reviews... How 'bout it? Are you up for it? Easy Reviews Staff
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I really wish that there was something that I could do or say to make you feel better. There isn't. There isn't anyone can do or say to make you feel better. I don't know how it feels to have a ton of dreams in front of you and to have them all disapear. I think though in time you have the oppertunity to have those dreams again. Did you get my e-mail that I sent you this weekend? I'm totally am still praying for you. Oh yeah. I think that your the strongest girl that I know! Ali. I really do look up to you.
from betchy :
i really dont know what to say sweetie, you obviously feel realy down at the moment, and i dont think anything is going to make you feel any better, you need to get there on your own. obviously ians timing this weekend hasnt made you feel any better, but just look on the bright side, things can only get better now, right?? once you have told your mum, and you have her support, it will all just get easier and you will wonder why you ever felt like this. p.s is there any way ian could find out without you telling him, like would anyone you know tell him?
from saucy99 :
If Mike keeps on insiting on the baby having his last name just say, "sure, if you agree to squeeze this baby out of the tip of your penis, then the baby can have you last name." Or, "sure, if you carry the baby in your stomach for nine months, gain tons of weight and have all the side effects associated with pregnancy, then the baby can have your name." How annoying. The baby should definitely have your name, don't budge on this one. Hang in there.
from eggsaucted :
Your mom isn't being mean by not telling you she knows, she's trying to support you and tell you she's there for you and will help you through anything when you're ready to tell her. I can pretty much guarantee that she knows and I can pretty much guarantee that she will love you and support and help you. Having a grandchild is not something parents get angry about. It's not something their embarrassed about. It's really not something for you to be embarrassed about. Seriously dear, you will feel much better when people know. I have so been there and I know you can't believe that it true and I how hard it is to tell people. As hard as it is to believe once you aren't carrying a secret it's a lot easier and can even be fun and exciting. If you want child support from Mike you will need to have him acknowledge the child, but without your permission he will never have to have Mike's last name.
from jess1976 :
I know that being pregnant is alot to deal with... I was there once myself, however, I made a decision that I now regret, to not have the child. It was too much for me at 17 years old. By the way, have you considered giving your child up for adoption? I know that I probably could not do that, but it's option for you. I can't remember if you wrote anything about that subject or not.
from jess1976 :
I'm not sure if your mom would tell you she knew, only because she may only "think" she knows what's going on and may not want to offend you if she is wrong. I don't think your parents will think you're a baby if you tell them how you feel about Mike. I know my parents would want to know if the father of my child was acting like a complete irresponsible ass. Like I said before, I don't think you give your parents enough credit... I can almost bet that they are going to surprise you and be there for you, more than you could have ever imagined. I think that you are so down on yourself that you are expecting everyone to view you in the same way you are viewing yourself. I hate to say it, but shit happens and unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it now. You need to start accepting things. This baby may end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I am sorry to be so harsh, I just hope that you find the courage to tell your parents because I think you will then begin to feel much better about things. Hugs :)
from betchy :
oh babe, i really wish i could do something to make things easier for you, like i said before i wish i lived down the road so you would have someone to talk to. it is so sad that you feel you have to give up on your one chance of happiness. is ian really that?? and if he is such an amazing person, would he not support you?? i dont know, please dont think i am out of line with anything i am saying , i'm just trying to make suggestions, is it him that wouldnt give things a chance with a baby involved, or is it because you wont give him a chance to?? i really hate to think that you love this bloke so much, and he obviously loves you, and you're not together. but it is your choice whether you tell him or not, and if you dont feel it is right, i guess you have to trust your own judgement, it is you living through it after all, not any of us here at d-land. at the end of the day, who are any of us to tell you what to do?? i really wish i could do something to cheer you up, or make you laugh though. i dont think my todays entries are very funny. my weekend was quite funny, but not that hilarious. hmmmm leave it with me, i'll try and think of something. take care sweetz, beckz xxx
from aidawrites :
i dont know, i seriously think im going to kill someone if i stay here today, i feel quite violent and dont have patience for anyone. i think i need a good couple hours laying out by my pool. check your email i sent you something interesting.
from kris-tee :
I got tears in my eyes when I was reading your mom's and your conversation about her loving and supporting you no matter what. I think she is really reaching out and trying hard to be there for you. I really think it's going to be ok when you do tell her. I also think she has an idea about it. If your brother's friend noticed, she is going to eventually notice. I could not imagine hiding my pregnancy right now, I am so big! I am so glad that your brother had the reaction that he did. I think everything is going to be ok. About Mike getting mad at you about getting depressed, Brad get's mad at me all the time. He does. He will say, KRISTY< you are having a baby, your brining a life in to the world, get over it. I can't write alot because I want to update real quick, I woke up late today. I am going to try hard to keep updating everyday. Hugs! I hope you have a good week! Oh and I go to the dr today!
from betchy :
hey you, sorry i didnt leave a note yesterday, my internet didnt start working until really late in the day, only just had time to update myself. well, your mum knows. for sure. she is saying things like she has been because she wants to make it easier for you to tell her i would guess. i really think the time is right now, you didnt think your brother would be ok with it and he was. you should really tell your parents before anyone else finds out, otherwise they will be the last ones to know, and that will be upsetting for them. god, i just realised i sound really preachy, and like i know everything, i'm really sorry i didnt mean to sound like that at all. anyway, as for ian, does he know that you're pregnant? i'm so sorry about the way things have gone with him, but if you love him that much and he loves you, wouldnt he want to be with you still if you told him? i dont know what kind of guy he is, but i know if i loved someone that much, the fact that they had a child wouldnt put me off. hey wizz did have 2 kids and it didnt put me off!!!!! i guess its good that mikes parents were ok with everything, even if you are hating him right now. things will get better with him, i'm sure, its all still new for both of you, and it is going to be hard for you both to adjust, but you will get there i'm sure. read about my weekend if you get a chance, fenton got a missus whose name he doesnt even know!!! read it to believe it, i think i should just stick to being his mate, he clearly does not fancy me. never mind. hope you feel better and happy soon sweetie, leave me a note later ok? beckz xxx
from yellowrosetx :
Ease your poor momma's conscience...If she hasn't already guessed, which I think she has, ...you should tell her the truth so she doesn't assume the worst. She truly seems like she loves you, wants to help you, and wants to be supportive! Let her share your burdens and your happiness! Take Care sweetie! Hugs!
from saucy99 :
I am so glad to hear your brother was so supportive. That's wonderful and I'm sure it makes you feel so much better. I think the reaction of your parents will surprise you too. A parent's love is unconditional. They might be shocked at first, but they will come around. That being said, are you sure your parents don't already know? I know some people show less than others, but no matter what, poncho or no poncho, it doesn't seem possible that they wouldn't notice if their daughter is 7.5 pregnant. It would be one thing if you were obese, but clearly you are not. Have they even said anything to you about gaining weight or anything? Do you think they know and they are waiting for you to tell them? Don't take this the wrong way, but I just don't understand how its possible for them not to know, especially if they've seen you in a bathing suit. Parents have an excellent intuition. I don't know though, I very well maybe totally wrong. If they do indeed know, and they haven't said anything, chances are they won't get too mad, right? You're mom sounds very concerned about you and she obviously loves you very much and is very worried. If indeed she doesn't know, she might even be relieved to find out you are pregnant because in her mind she might think something more serious is troubling you. Good luck though and I hope you are able to tell them tonight.
from manda-d :
Honestly, I would be OK with it... I know that's easy for me to say now because my daughter isn't even old enough to have a period. But I really, truly believe if it were my child and she had finished college and was over the age of 21, I would be OK with it. Ideally, I would prefer a husband, house, dog, and white picket fence first for her. But in this day and age, that's not always the way things happen. I realize that and I'm certain your mother will too. I was terrified to tell my parents about my pregnancy with John, but they were so calm and accepting about it. Their reaction was exactly the opposite of what I thought it would be.
from eggsaucted :
The birth certificate and the last name were two different forms for us.
from manda-d :
She WILL still love you, she will. And this sounds so clichť, but you'll understand when you are a mother. No decent mother could ever turn their back on their own child.
from starlight42 :
hey, just thought you'd get a kick out of this...you know how I was saying I could barely read your entries? Well, lately I'd been copying them into Word to read...anyway, I noticed at my computer at home the text was larger, thus, I just figured out today how to make my internet type larger. And now I can read your diary better!! lol Also, are you excited for the Inferno finale tonight? I can't wait to see who wins. Wonder if they'll do another one soon...
from eggsaucted :
Her highness is still not baptised. Catholics like thing to happen at a certain time but there are always exceptions. I have a close family friend who's a priest who said he'd do the baptisim anytime Kevin and I wanted. We're not telling our families because we don't want anyone there who doesn't want to be there and we can't invite my family without him. But I want her baptised for my grandmother. So we're doing it with just the godparents and us. Karen has some weirdo idea about the three of us presenting her for baptisim together and I would be forced to beat her senseless if we did that and Kevin agrees. But she has been trying to make arrangements with her priest since the baby was born and Kevin and I both told her we wouldn't have the baby baptised and that's making her mad. I would imagine Georgia has similar laws and we had to file special paperwork with both of our signatures and it had to be witnessed and stuff in order for my daughter to have Kevin's name. Which is what both of us wanted, your situation is the opposite, but it should still work the same way. I don't think Mike can force you to have the baby have his name because they need to mother's sworn statement of paternity blah blah blah. You can certainly ask.
from aidawrites :
So you're just not going to talk to Ian huh? It's so sweet that he wants you back, i wish you would give it a chance between you guys, maybe he has changed, maybe he would accept your changes too. Reading all of my old entries about Matt makes me realize what a complete idiot I was, but it also reminds me how strong love is, and I dont ever want to love like that again. Hopefully history wont repeat itself with Marc. Anyway, hope you had a good weekend.
from kris-tee :
I miss talking to you!!!! I am so bored at work, I am dreading going in right now! I am going to wake up 30 minutes early everyday so that I can write in my diary and leave you notes! 11 more weeks to go! 10 for you! I am so freaking big, but I'm not even worrying about it anymore, I know I will lose it all. About the abortion thing Ali, be glad you did not have one, it would haunt you the rest of your life. You would never be sure you made the right decision. You would never know if it was ok for you to do or not. If I were you, I would just throw it all out there to everyone, I would tell Ian, I would tell your parents. Just get it out. What your mom said is very true and I want you to think about it, people forgive eachother for all kinds of things, affairs and really bad stuff. So you got pregnant by accident after Ian was a jerk to you, well, you can always tell Ian that if you guys had stayed together, you would never be in the situation where you are right now. Ali, I think you should tell Ian. Tell him in an email. If you don't tell him you'll never know what could be. Do you really want to do that? Do you want years to pass and to always think, I wonder what his reaction would have been? I wonder what would have happend? I mean, he says he has changed, you never know, he very well could have. Having a baby is not the worst thing you could have done. I mean, you could have done alot worse of things. If Brad had gotten Autumn pregnat, (that was the girl he dated before me) I would have been upset, but ultimately, I would have stayed with him. What we have is so special. We fit together so well and I honestly do not think love like that comes more then once in a lifetime and if you have that with Ian, you need to be honest with him and tell him. Ok, I have to go to work! I'll talk to you tommorrow morning!!!!
from yellowrosetx :
If you're putting the baby first, then you truly have arrived at Motherhood! Did you get a chance to tell your parents tonight? Hugs!!
from tanprincess :
i hope you have a good weekend as well! and dont worry i will be extra safe! hope you get to go out a little this weekend and be around friends and maybe even mike??? i'm glad you emailed your boss and explained things to them, at least that is one less thing you have to do now. well have a good one and i'll talk to you on monday!
from yellowrosetx :
Mother's have a way of knowing...I think she's reaching out to you with hopes that you will tell her what she already knows. Just confirm her suspicions and I think you will be really surprised how relieved, happy, and supportive she will be. Mom's love us no matter what-that's their/our job. No matter what our mistakes may be, no matter how big, they can/will always forgive us and love us even more!! She can probably soften the blow and tell your Dad for you...that always worked in our house. HEE! HEE! You should tell them. You've already shown how brave you are just by chosing to raise this baby yourself. That says alot about you. You'll be a great Mom and your parents will make wonderful Grandparents! Have Faith!! Good Luck!
from princesstosh :
Hope you have a good weekend, oh and you're 2 entries away from #200. Just thought I'd let you know!
from princesstosh :
Hope you have a good weekend, oh and you're 2 entries away from #200. Just thought I'd let you know!
from girlygirl83 :
Hey. I realize now that God is right too! I'm definatly NOT takeing any of my clothes off from now on for boys! I realize that sex and marrige go hand in hand and I realize that I'm gonna be alot better off in the long run! I'm definatly gonna have some self-discipline and I'm not gonna do it. I gotta go. I've been online alot today! But I really hope that you have a good weekend and I'll b e praying for you.
from girlygirl83 :
Can I just say how much I LOVE you! I think that your sooo sweet and awsome! More girls shuld be like you! Seriously! Everyone on Diaryland loves you, because your awsome! Your gonna b e a great mom! I wish that you had aol instant messenger! I love getting notes from you!
from girlygirl83 :
hey, it's not an easy thing to do. I don't know if I can do it for the whole day either. I know that stuff gets people down including me. Its just life! Life sucks. I know that your gonna b e happy one day! Just like me! I just know that we will be happy and then we can look back on this stuff and be even more thankful that we are happy!
from starlight42 :
I do like country music! I didn't know they closed Opryland...that reminds me, I should see about Dollywood, that must be near by? I went when I was little. Ya, I'm excited, it should be fun. It's nice to go on vacations to places you went to when you were little, but you were too young to appreciate it. I've been to most every state minus Alaska & Hawaii...but now I'm old enough to enjoy it. :) Sorry to hear things are still rough. I hope you do get a chance to sit down & tell your mom, maybe if you tell her first & then your dad together or something? Maybe that would be easier. Well, don't forget, you need to try and stay positive, the baby feels all of your emotions too. It will all start working out soon! Thanks for the suggestions of things to see by the way, I appreciate them.
from betchy :
yeah, it is too bad that fenton is a claimant, but he's one of the nice ones. it did used to drive me mad when i first started working here i would think "i get up at 7:00am every morning and sit here for 8 hours a day, just so you can get pissed up all day, and then give me abuse!!" but, thats the way they are and they wont change unless they want to. its actully a really interesting job, and its never boring, the time absolutely flies by. before i know it its time to go home. its was time to go home 10 mins ago and i'm still sat here!!! better go start the weekend!! have a wonderful weekend babe, i really hope this weekend lifts you up and by monday all your entries will be full of smiles :-) be thinking of you, take care beckz xxx
from betchy :
yeah, a lot of the customers drive me mad if they have no money and they're like "what am i supposed to do?" i'm like "get a job then, innit?" i'm not actually allowed to say that but i wish i could. i struggle a lot of the time, i wish i could come in here, lie my arse off and get given some free money, but i cant!!! a lot of them do really amuse me though, with the lyrics they come out with!!! and you do end up getting a soft spot for some of them. fenton is a claimant!!! he just came in to see me actually, so i will have to put a quick little update in in a minute. they are pretty much all bums though. but once they get stuck in the system, they dont want to get out. i think i need to move to america if my size isnt too big over there. hey maybe i could be someones thin friend!!!
from betchy :
wow your work sounds pretty damned cool!!! i work for social security (i dont know what that is called in america) but its basically where people who dont work come to claim thier benefits. peple who are single parents and cant afford childcare, people who cant find work, and the majority, people who cant work because they are addicted to drink or drugs, or have mental health problems. i love my job, i work right on the front behind a screen of bulletproof glass, because if those smackheads dont get thier money for thier next hit, they sure do kick off!!!! its good that you have a friend who will be your support system, thats got to be a bit of a weight off. i dont blame you for getting fed up with your friends, you should do what i have done and just cut them off. if you are a nice person (which i'm guessing you are from your notes and entries) it wont take long to make new ones. glad you enjoyed my fat bird bit, believe me i am pretty big, i'm a size 18, (i think that would be a 14 in usa sizes. hey that sounds good. i'm a size 14!!! whoo hoo!!) but it doesnt bother me anymore. i used to be really slim, and about 3 years ago i started gaining weight. just suddenly. but i dont get too hung up on it, coz i used to have an eating disorder and it nearly destroyed my mum, so i just dont even think of my weight as an issue half the time. you have to remember though girly, you are not fat, you're pregnant!!! there is a (big) difference!!! take care sweetz, beckz xxx
from tanprincess :
hey i'm glad you got to talk to your friend last night and she let you know that she can be your support system! i dont know what to tell you about mike?? sounds like he just needs to grow up and "man up". avoiding you is not going to make the baby go away, maybe he is scared and that is understandable, but he still needs to be there for you and at least return your calls!!! yeah i'm very glad my mom is a hairdresser---i have never ever paid to have anything done to my hair!! all my friends hate me for it!! LOL. anyway i'm from mississippi...ever heard of mississippi state univ. (GO DAWGS)...well thats where i'm at!! but i was born in your neck of the woods...valdasto, ga!!
from betchy :
i think you should tell mike that you think he is being rude. you have been real nice to him up till now, he needs to realise it is both your responsiblility, not just yours. also i think leaving you waiting about his parents reaction, when he knows how nervous you are about it is a little mean (unless he hasnt told them). what sort of job do you do anyway? i am in real trouble at the moment, i dont know if you keep up to date with my entries, but something happened the other day, and i got so busted for it, even though it was a mistake. there has to be an investigation and everything. but no-one has mentioned it since. they usually wait until monday for those sort of things, sort of "welcome back, hope you had a nice weekend, you're sacked!!!" but i hope it wont come to that. there is someone at work who does my head in, she just incessantly talks about nothing. and i do mean nothing. her washing machine, her husbands sister, her rats, literally stuff you wouldnt even expect your best mate to be interested in. but she will start talking even if its obvious you're busy, as if she was already in the middle of a conversation with you, and it makes no sense , and you're just like "what!?!?!" i have to just walk off sometimes, because i just cant listen to her lyrics, they drive me mad. my day is not too bad today babe, hope yours is good too, lateron!!! beckz xx
from kris-tee :
OMG, I'm dying. I have been so depressed at work all week. They ended up blocking everything, so now I can not even update. I am a little concerned though because I think they may say something to me. But on the other hand, if they do, I am going to tell them that they should probably just fire me. I want to be fired so bad. That way, I can collect unemployment until the baby comes. I know it sounds bad, but that's the way I feel. I hate working. It almost makes me want them to put me on bed rest or something. But like Brad and a co-worker said, I would probably have to do something illegal to get fired. My "aunt" is one of the big bosses and also, I don't think companies fire pregnant women that easily because then they can just say, Oh they fired me because I was pregnant. I am praying my lawsuit settles, then I could definately quit soon. But, I don't see that happening, I am know I am going to be there until the end, I feel like screaming. I feel like the girls there have been very fake and phony to me lately. I have just noticed a couple things. Why is it that if you are pretty, with a handsome husband, a nice house, and great parents that people have to be mean to you because they are jealous? I have had this problem my entire life and I hate it. I dont' even want my stupid work to throw me a shower anymore. I hate everyone that works there, espeically in the IT department. Some of the girls there that are my "friends" were trying to tell me if I go on leave from pregnancy and I don't come back, the company can take my leave back. That is bullshit. They can not. I called my mom. My mom said no way, people do that all the time. I feel like I lost my bestfriend this week. :( I really miss talking to you! I will probably update alot on the weekends. Oh Mike is being a real ass. I can't believe he has not called you back. Telling his parents is a big thing, he totally should have called you by now. Even if it was just one night. The whole paternity test thing is dumb. But whatever. I mean, I guess you have to give him one. He's a dumbass though. You know, he's a guy, so he probably did not even think of the paternity thing on his own, I am sure someone else told him he should get one. Do you have an idea when you are going to tell your parents? I think I am going to go to Brad's mom and dad's house this weekend and have his dad scan some pictures for me so you can see more pictures. I am so depressed about work. I don't want to go at all anymore. I hate everyone there. It was bad before, now it's really bad. If you lived in PA or something, I swear I would come and visit you. It sucks that you are so damn far! Ok, I have to go get ready, but I'll write more when I get home! Hey, maybe I'll get fired! Wish me luck! haha!
from betchy :
sweetie i really dont think that mikes parents would tell him to have nothing to do with you!!!! not that i know them from adam (or eve), but most parents would tell their children they have to face up to thier responsibilities. i'm sure his will too. maybe he has chickened out of telling them, and thats why he hasnt called you. i hope you are feeling happier and more positive today babe, chat later and i'll leave you a proper note, (bit busy and already in the doghouse at work) take care beckz x
from yellowrosetx :
Hi there! Thanks for the sweet note earlier. I put more pics on K's site on the "About Me" page, so you can take a peak if you like! Hope you're doing well!!?? Keep me posted!
from aidawrites :
All foreign women are thin, its a fact. It's got something to do with not having enough food in some countries because of their economic situations and also because America is just such a fatter country. I have cousins in Argentina and Colombia and those girls don't weigh over 90 pounds. And when I went to Brazil a few years ago, I noticed everyone is physically perfect. Another reason is because they don't have too many cars, so most people walk everywhere. I guess they are more active, and we here are too comfortable with things like cars and computers and McDonalds. You are right about stores not making brown heels, I was at Nine West last week and I did not see ONE pair of brown stilettos, I even saw purple ones, just not brown, weird. I'm sure Manolo makes them, but I cant afford those. About Chris's wife, Denise, I think she is legally set, she just needs to get off her ass and get a job. Anyway, I'm gonna finish up my "work" here at the office and go to school, where I will be until 9pm. Wonderful.
from aidawrites :
Platforms are horrible, I got rid of all of mine when I discovered stilettos. I don't have brown ones either, and i'm dying for them because i have a lot of brown clothes I cant wear right now. I have cute brown boots, but its summer and I cant wear that. I'm a shoe and purse whore, I like them expensive. I never thought I would be so girly about it, but I guess it grows with age. Chris and his wife don't have kids, they've only been married for a year. He is 32 and she is 21. She got him to marry her when she told him she got pregnant when he went to visit her, but it turned out to be a lie and by the time he found out she was already here and had gotten her green card. His mom hates her and he whines about this every day, you wouldn't believe the stories he tells me. She doesn't work, stays home all day, doesn't clean or cook and he does everything plus pays the bills, she is anorexic but swears she is beautiful, I hate her because Matt flirted with her at a club after we broke up because he knew I was there, I wanted to rip her apart. Anyway, I think Chris and her are getting divorced, at least that's what he tells me. Oh and the women, they aren't even middle aged, they are all in their 20s and early 30s. I've actually voiced out loud that if they aren't happy with their husbands then they should divorce them. Then they start getting defensive and tell me I'm afraid of commitment because I date too much, it's so enraging.
from aidawrites :
Mail-order brides are actually more common than you think. the internet is filled with websites for out of country girls who want an american to marry them and bring them here, and since the losers here (like the guy i work with) cant find anyone in the states, they just go on a hunt for women in other countries. This guy, Chris, he is a smart guy, has a PhD, but his first mail-order bride was from Russia and she took all his money, then the second one from Bolivia turned out to be psycho bitch and hits him, he comes to work with black eyes sometimes, its so pathetic its actually funny. But he is a jerk so im sure he deserves it. He tries to hit on me and Its disgusting. I hate most of the people i work with, especially the women, i think im even becoming vicious about it. i just want to kill them sometimes, all they do is talk about their kids and their no good husbands and eat pizza and mcdonalds everyday. they dress horribly and they flirt with the guys here which makes me sick because they are fat and ugly. i would never stoop that low and i think they know that so thats why they hate me. I was talking about how i bought these 200 dollar shoes and they told me I was stupid and i should go to Payless because it's cheaper, RIGHT! They just dont get it.
from aidawrites :
Its true, Kate Hudson looked horrible when she was pregnant, that's just unnecessary. Most girls I know dont gain that much and loose it all once they have the baby, so I'm sure you'll be the same. And you'll look super sexy and Mike will drool. HAHA. anyway, that guy you work with sounds like an idiot, i have my share of those around here. in fact, one guy always comes to my office to tell me about his mail-order bride disaster and looks over my shoulder to see what i'm typing. I think he hangs out around my office after I leave too, it's a good thing i lock everything. Sorry you are bored at work, i've gotten so used to being bored that i hate it when i actually have to work.
from aidawrites :
You will, just look at Kate Hudson, she is a stick again. Theres a girl with an ugly looking husband, ewwww. I had tacos for lunch, i feel like a cow. *yawn* I wont be home for another....8 hours, thats depressing.
from aidawrites :
oh my god, that is exactly what my best friend Heather told me to do, you guys must be right! i'm going to talk to him about it. thanks!
from aidawrites :
What do i do??? He called me just now, left me a message, didnt even mention that he didnt call me last night, it was a long message, he talked about school and work and asked me to call him later, but i dont know if i should, Im so confused.
from betchy :
your mum is going to find out within the next 11 weeks, no matter what. would you rather tell her now, and get that initial anger out of the way and have her support for the remainder of you pregnancy, or wait until the end, when she will be even more hurt that you never told her at all. even if she is angry it wont last long. and as for mike, well, i dont know him, but he doesnt seem like a bad bloke. he may not realise just how much you need him. take care sweetz, o.k, beckz xxx
from betchy :
tell your mum then.she wont hate you. as for hoding it together for mike, you're the one thats going through this ali, he should be holding it together for you!!! tell mike how hard you are finding things, you dont have to break down in front of him, just tell him you really, really need his support right now. as you said, you arent asking him to put a ring on your finger, just to be there for you, which he may think he is doing but is clearly not!!!! otherwise you wouldnt feel so alone. and i know what you mean about needing your mum. sometimes only your mum can be the one to make everything right. its like being a kid again.and i'm sure if you tell her just how scared and alone you feel, that maternal instinct will just kick right in and she will tell you it will all be all right. that instinct doesnt go away just because you are a grown up now. thinking of you sweetie, hope you can tell her soon. xxx
from betchy :
is mike the kind of person you can talk openly to? i guarantee you he has no idea how hard you are finding this!!!! maybe you could share how you are feeling with him (if he is that kind of person). i wish i lived down the road from you, and i would let you talk to me as much as you wanted. you shouldnt have to feel alone. please tell mike how you are feeling. i dont like you being so down :-(
from betchy :
i'm so sorry sweetie, that you feel so sad. i'm not going to try and give you any advice because i dont have the right to. i have absolutley no idea what you are going through, and no idea how hard it is. the only thing i will say is i hope you can find the strenght to tell your parents and to tell mike that you need him, because you cant carry this alone anymore, look at what it is doing to you!!! i hope you feel better soon babe, i really do, because from what i know of you, you are a really lovely person, and you shouldnt have to feel so sad. take care sweetie, please feel better soon, beckz x p.s how cute is your goddaughter!!!!!
from aidawrites :
You are totally right. By the time i was 15 i had read every Danielle Steele book. It got to the point where they all started sounding the same and i was getting the stories confused. Isnt it always about a young beautiful girl who falls in love with a guy with "broad shoulders" then he goes to war and dies and she finds love years later? My favorite was The Ring, oh Malice was good too. I cant read that stuff anymore, but Danielle Steele taught me all i knew about love, well at the time anyway.
from aidawrites :
yeah, its really sad at the beginning of it, but a year later he finds love again and its truly beautiful :) im a sucker for love stories.
from aidawrites :
the diary name is widower. If you havent read it, I suggest you start at the beginning. He lost his wife and baby daughter and he is an amazing writer.
from yellowrosetx :
Love that red hair!! I'm very fond of it myself b/c I'm a strawberry blonde and K is auburn!! You are beautiful and have nothing to worry about, pregnant or not! I'm trying to build a website for her, so as soon as I'm finished I'll give you the site info and you can see us!! If you need anything, I'm often up very late...I'm quite the Insomniac and rarely sleep. I think God feels I can just run on pure adrenalin! HA! HA! Just send me an e-mail. Have a wonderful day!
from aidawrites :
shit i always post without checking my spelling, please ignore the typos, i meant trying NOT to cry at work.
from aidawrites :
Wow, i havent checked my notes in like hours, thats a first. I've been hooked on this one diary all day, its amazing, trying to to cry at work. Anyway, it sounds like this guy you confronted you is a nosey asshole. And once someone knows, everyone knows, so its inevitable. I would confront the boss, but I would tell her in person. You'll feel better once its out in the open and you have nothing to hide, thats what gay people say anyway, lol, bad joke, i know. About Mike, he better call you tonight and so should Marc, if not i say we both call them and tell them what's been bugging us about them. Cant wait for The Bachelor tonight! Jessica is going to die, poor girl.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I wish that I could tell you something to make you feel better. I wish that I could carry some of your burdens for you. I cna't though. I 'm still praying ofr you though! I hope that you feel better soon. I agree a hundred percent about Mike.
from elliemay23 :
The first time that I went I had no idea how it would make me feel. I tell you what though, I COULD SEE BETTER after my first adjustment. I didn't know that I needed to see better. It was great.
from tanprincess :
ohhh your goddaughter is a doll!! i have a godson that is 7months old and let me tell you he is the cutest thing in the world! he has me wrapped around his little finger so tight! i just can't wait till he is about 3-4yrs.old--i will be taking him everywhere w/ me and spoiling the hell out of him before i take him back to his momma!! they are the greatest!!
from dandlioneyes :
one thing i've learned from hardships is that time makes all the difference in the world. like saucy said, it might take a while for things to feel normal again, but time will take care of that. your parents will be thrilled that they have a grandson on his way! hang in there.
from kris-tee :
Yeah, my company blocked me out! I can read everyone's diary though, except for yours! Your diary is the only one they blocked out! I can still write in mine too though. I emailed you about an idea I have for us to still communicate throughout the day, let me know what you think! Your going to think I'm crazy, but I can't go the entire day without talking to anyone!!!
from dandlioneyes :
this week sounds like it'll be hard for you. chin up, lots of dlanders are thinking of you! it will be ok, i promise.
from betchy :
you can still date, babe, but to be honest you will be so wrapped up with griffin to start with, that you wont have time for anyone else!!! just because you have a child doesnt mean that you cant date. a lot of blokes love kids, and would be happy to date someone with children, so dont take yourself off the market just yet (unless you want to.) xxx
from yellowrosetx :
Great pics! How are you?
from saucy99 :
Hopefully if your folks are mad at you, it wont last for too long. I know its scary to tell your folks. Like I said, I don't have the courage to tell my folks that I am living with my boyfriend and that is no where near as hard as it would be to tell them I'm pregnant. But its not as necessary for me to tell them that and frankly I have no intentions of telling them. Knowing my parents (VERY conservative) they would be more dissapointed than mad. They would be mad at first, but then they would be dissapointed, but my parents also live in la-la land and they don't understand that it is very, very common to live with a significant other. Anyway, I'm only telling you this because I understand how hard it is to tell your folks because my situation is a million times easier and I still have a hard time with it. The best way to do it might be to just blurt it out and get it over with. I don't know. Good luck though.
from saucy99 :
Hey ali, i've been gone back and read your diary entries since you found out about griffin and I just want to say that I think you have dealt with this with so much bravery and courage, I think you've dealt with this much better than I would have. I'm sure even though you are having a hard time right now, things are going to turn out just fine for you. You are going to have a beautiful, healthy son, and you are going to be just fine. Even though I am pro-choice (except in cases of late-term abortion which I am totally against) I have a lot of respect for you for choosing the hard, albeit right way and not having an abortion. That being said you mentioned to eggsaucted that you think telling your parents is going to make things worse because then they will be mad at you and know they are not. I know its really none of my business, but don't you think that they will be about 100 times more mad that you waited so long to tell them? If I were you I would be petrified of telling my parents too so I understand your hesitation, hell, I can't even tell my parents that I am living with my boyfriend so I totally understand how you feel. But they are going to find out eventually and I would think if in fact they are indeed angry, half of their anger is going to stem from the fact that you waited until you were more than 7 months preg. to tell them. As for telling work, might as well get that over with too. Again, I'm not trying to be presumptuous, but I wouldn't be surprised if most of them already know. This woman that I worked with didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until she was 6.5 months but everyone, and I mean everyone, knew about it starting at about 4 months. I started to get suspicious at about 3.5 months and I was 100% certain by 4 months. She only had a 6.5 pound baby and only gained about 22 pounds so its not like she was one of those huge pregnant women either. Everyone in the office knew and everyone was wondering when the hell she was going to just tell us why she thought we were so dumb as to not notice. She had a similar body type as you too. She was tall, thin and athletic. It might be different with your parents because sometimes parents only see what they want to see. But they also might know too if they've seen you recently. The people at work are more objective. You are very tall and thin too, so it makes it easier to tell. This other woman in my office who was rather overweight got pregnant and no one could really tell because she was about 50 pounds overweight. Anyway, I may be wrong, but a lot of people in your office probably know, 7 months pregnant is pretty far along and it shows on someone as thin as you, they are just waiting for you to tell them yourself. I know its none of my business so I hope this note doesn't seem presumptuous but I think for the sake of your mental health, it might help to get things off your chest. You're going to be just great, Ali, and you're going to be a fantastic mom, I can tell. You've done a great job so far, you've handled this as well as anyone can handle it. Take care and hang in there.
from eggsaucted :
Ali I don't think anyone will be mad at you, unless you count that they'll be upset that you tried to deal with all of this on your own instead of letting all of the people who love you and care about help you and support you. It will be easier because once you're not hiding something everything seems much easier. I didn't believe it either, but it so true it will help you and it will help griffin. I know you weren't expecting this and I know this is hard and I know you're dealing with all of the stuff the only way you know how, but really and truly not hiding it is so much easier it's an unbelievable weight you'll have off of you. Not only will your parents love you and your son which I know you know, they will be a source of strength and support even if they are surprised initially. Anger will not ever be a concern of theirs. You've spent so much time thinking about this, you've made it even scarier for yourself. I told an extremely catholic family who has had zero experience with having a single parent among them that I was having a baby. I flat out refused to introduce them to the father. I love Kevin but until his life is sorted out I'm not bringing him into my family. The only people he's met are my parents at the hospital, my uncle also at the hospital and he's seen my mom twice since then. Never once has my family been mad at me. They've been fantastic, every single one of them. My cousins, my parents, my grandmother, my uncle and my aunt. None of them knew until last march. No one has ever been pregnant out of wedlock. But once they all knew it was so much easier to not have the burden of what would happen when they knew on my shoulders. I know all about putting it off and making excuses for why I couldn't tell them. I also know the things that run through your mind, but it will so much better once they all know.
from starlight42 :
I liked the pics. Man, Gweneth always looks so pretty...but so do you! And finally a face to put with Ian...
from aidawrites :
As far as actresses go, I think Kate Beckinsdale is gorgeous, probably one of the prettiest ever. I'm biased for exotic beauties like Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek though. I think Julia Roberts is gross. But the most beautiful title would have to go to Charlize Theron, hands down. I think her and Brad would make the most perfect babies. As far as models, i dont like Heidi Klum, dont know why, she seems kinda depressed, and dates ugly guys. i prefer the new Victoria Secret It girl, the one from Brazil, she's gorgeous, she's in all the covers, do you know who im talking about? Oh, and Petra Nemcova, she is gorgeous.
from aidawrites :
I dont like Denise Richards, she looks cheap. I've always adored Salma, i think she has the best face and body, its gotta be a tie between her and Diane Lane. Jennifer Anniston is overrated. Jennifer Connelly is beautiful too though.
from starlight42 :
I know, I noticed my comments thing is being stupid today. Anyway, Dave has tried a pill to stop smoking, I can't think of the name right now, it's more for anti-depression but doctors think it helps you stop smoking too...not so much, oh- it's Wellbutrin! Anyway, ya, maybe we should think about the Carolina's. I'm hoping Hawaii for our honeymoon, if we ever get engaged! I need to map it out, maybe a day or so in KY and then a few days further south...
from aidawrites :
Im bored. Who do you think the most beautiful woman in this pic is? http://celebrity-exchange.com/celebs/photos57/vf-2004-hollywood04.jpg strange to see Jen and Gwyneth in the same pic.
from eggsaucted :
I think you'll see that your parents won't be mad about anything except that you kept it from them for this long and that anger doesn't last. They will be shocked but they will realize how much it's been hurting you to hide this and they will rally around you. They are your parents. The burden of keeping this secret it very very heavy, I know all about it, it's heavier than you can even realize right now while you're going through it. I know it sounds insane that telling them will be better, but I told my parents some relatives and work all in the same week in march last year and it made a huge difference. I know our situations are different, but at least Mike will be able to meet your parents. Kevin met my parents in the delivery room. This will make things better, it really really will. I know how hard it is, I really do and I know how easy it is to keep putting it off. But you can't do that forever and you are only hurting yourself and your parents and your griffin by putting it off longer.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey girly. I know that nothing anyone says is gonna make it easier on you to tell your parents. I know that it's gonna be the hardest thing that you've ever had to do. I thin k that your gonnado it when your ready. I do knkowthat even if they are pissed. They will get over it. I told my parents something that made them cringe. You know what though? Its something that i did, and NO ONE IS PERFECT. It took about 3 weeks for tehm to be unmad but they eventually got over it. They still don't trust me with the internet thoguh. .......... I'm just trying to say that I know that they will eventually get un-mad and they will love Griffin as much as youu do. Your really a strong girl. I am very proud of you! You've come a long way! I love reading you! I'm still praying for you!
from aidawrites :
Funny you say that....I've always described Brad's looks as What God invisioned the perfect human was, just so we could have a look and understand perfection. I mean, what part of Brad isnt perfect? from his hair to his teeth to his arms to his "thing" And the abs! If only i could just touch them....okay i need to stop thinking about this while im at work.
from eggsaucted :
Ali, it never gets easier to tell people. It will always be hard and scary, but the urden you're carrying by hiding it is heavier than even you realize right now. You will feel better when people. Remember I told you a long time there will always be an excuse not to tell them. The important part is doing it, it doesn't really matter how you do it. You will feel better once it's over.
from kris-tee :
Ok, yeah, I know what a cleft pallet is. It is weird. Hopefully Blake does not have one either. I am in a really bad mood today. I feel like kicking something. I think I just need to go home. Maybe I can leave earlyÖ. My mom said more yesterday too that I left out on my entry, I think she is getting irritated with me about worrying about my appearance so much. In the heat of the conversation, she told me that since she had her episiotomy, whenever she has sex it bleeds and it hurts and she has talked with her gyn about it but there is nothing they can do, itís from the way the scar tissue healed. I was like, ew mom, omg, why did you just tell me that? She said, because, there is so much more to having a baby then what you look like. I hate my boss, she is interviewing someone right now. She has the door open, everyone can hear the interview how stupid is that? I need maternity clothes. I feel so ugly today. WHY does everyone want to talk to me? I donítí want to talk to anyone, I wish people would stop coming over to say, Hi. I feel like saying fuck off. Iím being mean today. I think I need to leave at 2. I hate having a mortgage. I hate it. It sucks. I hate our car payment too. Why did I have to go out and buy a really nice SUV? Why didnít we just settle for a kia or something like that? Everytime Brad mentions Kia though I shiver, ew, they are disgusting and ugly and I hate cheap cars. I hate everything today, except for my baby! Today when Brad came home he walked over to the bed and said, good morning, and Blake kicked! I think he heard him because he was sound asleep! It was really neat! I want to go home early, but then I always feel bad because then my checks suck if I go home early. We have sick time, but I use it all the time, so I never have any left over. Itís going to be a long summer. Ali, I am telling you this as a friend, you need to just start picking up the phone and calling Mike. You two have got to have some kind of calling schedule, itís like your both scared of one another. I think you will be more willing to call once Griffin is here. I think Mike does want to hear from you though, I really do. As for the parents thing, I donít know what to tell you. I canít give you advice on that because you will tell them when you want to and nothing anyone can say is going to change it. I do hope you tell them soon though. And I do think the weekend would be better so they have a couple days to deal with it before going back to work.
from aidawrites :
this is all i have to say about Brad's thing. This was the pic Brad Pitt sued Playgirl for. http://www.myweb.free.fr/myweb/stars/bradpitt/pitt.jpg
from aidawrites :
When Brad Pitt was dating Gwyneth i thought they made the cutest couple, i would die if i had Brad and then let him go, it would haunt me every day! Anyway, im itching for The Bachelor finale, although i'm sure youve heard the rumors that he picked Tara and then dumped her for Eva Mendez.
from elliemay23 :
The beach trip was wonderful. I rented a surf board for the first time. It was a blast.
from betchy :
bloody hell girly, you have had some good looking goatfish!!! were any of your blokeys out of the ugly tree?? mike will care about the things that griffin does, it just seems like that at the moment because you're feeling down in the dumps, but once griffin gets here, the pair of you are just going to fall in love with him!! so will your parents, even your sister will!!everything will work out and you will forget what you were ever sad about!! i know these things, i am a psychic, (well i usually can guess what is going to be number one in the charts if that counts!!) take care sweetie, beckz x
from kris-tee :
What is a cleft pallet? I swear, you sound just like me sometimes. I always think to myself that I donít deserve a healthy baby either. I always think that. I forget to pray that I just want him to be healthy too. I will take the varicose veins and I will take lots of stretch marks and I will take the skin hanging thing if he can just be healthy. Yeah that girl that asked me about the dress is an idiot. Thatís why I rolled my eyes at her. I mean, seriously. Come on! It is always good to get in with parents. Bradís mom has always like me from day 1, Bradís dad on the other handÖ. At first he thought I was too high matience for Brad. I donít know why people always think of me like that. I guess if you donít know me I come off as a stuck up rich snob. I donít know how I do that, but I guess I do. Now, Bradís dad likes me a lot. He also says I have changed since Brad and I have been married but I just think he got to know me better. I donít think I have changed. It is always good to get in with parents. My ex-bf Chad that I was with for like a billion years on and off, his mom HATED me. I mean HATED me, I was not too fond of her either so I guess it was even, but it really sucked. She had no sense of reality. Chad and his brother would smoke weed in their bedroom and she would think that it was a candle burning. I mean, COME ON! Even after they were arrested for having weed on them and stuff, she still would be oblivious to it. I constantly tried to get him to stop smoking weed and he would not, that was pretty much the demise of our relationship. I just could not deal with it anymore. It was time for him to grow up. My mom could not stand his parents either. She said they had no sense of reality either. That makes me value Bradís momís and my relationship so much more, I love that I can call her in the middle of the day and talk to her about what color I should paint my nails and dumb stuff like that. Itís nice. Chadís mom is the only mom that has never liked me. Most momís always like me. Dadís too.
from kris-tee :
I hate maternity fashion also. Today I am wearing a dress from Old Navy and this girl goes, Oh, that is so cute, I wonder if they make it in non-maternity, I just rolled my eyes and said, they make EVERYTHING in non-maternity. I like the barn theme better because you can do more with it. Like buy barn stuffed animals and stuff. I also like the amy co one because itís more colorful. It looks like something I would like. Iím starting not to worry about labor so much either. I do worry about retardation and downs syndrome all the time though. All the time. A lot this weekend for some reason. I have had to take so much medication, it worries me a lot. It is good that Bradís parents are on my side. I treat them good though, way better then SIL treats them so it makes sense that they take up for me a little more. The thing is though, I donít treat them better for some kind of reward or for people to think I am better then SIL, I treat them better because that is just me. I like them. I like my MIL as a person. She reminds me of my mom and she is so sweet, she would do anything for any of us. I think SIL thinks I am close with her just because SIL never liked her that much. Thatís not why I do it. I generally like her. Oh well. I am sure SIL and I will be on ok terms one day, but Iím not going out of my way to do it. I have thought about writing her letters and calling her but I am over all of that. I just donít care enough anymore. I did feel like calling her the day after Motherís day and telling her if you want to hate me and be mean to me fine, I could care less, but donít take it out on MIL. Seriously though Ali, she does not even want to get in to it with me because I think at this point, I would be really really mean and tell her exactly what I thought of her white trash self. I could not deal with a mentally retarded child or a child with downs syndrome either. Sometimes I wonder how we are going to afford a healthy child let alone and child with something wrong with it.
from princesstosh :
I understand. I'm just giving you a hard time. Truthfully I'm bored out of my mind here, and its drivng me nuts that I cant be packing and sorting through all my crap right now. I'd leave early but then thats less time i'll have on my paycheck that I need. Ah, life. And, yes please scan the babys pics--i bet they're adorable!
from princesstosh :
I dont care if good things come to those who wait. I'm spoiled and i dont like waiting LOL. Just kidding, tomorrow will work,it will give me something to look forward to while packing tonight *Sigh*
from kris-tee :
Ha, thatís funny I am the only person that likes Amy Co better! I guess that just shows you that I have good taste and they donít. haha, just kidding. I like the 2nd one too, I just like the 1st one better a little. But for Griffin, I am kind of thinking the 2nd one because itís more boyish. I donít think you will get the extra skin thing, I have gained more then you and also my mom has it. Hopefully I donít get it. I am glad about the 3D thing. Now, I want one too! I keep forgetting to ask my Dr about it. I need to write down my questions next time I go. Brad is working tonight so if you donít post it the letter, email it to me and I will definitely check it. Yeah, I think Mike is cute. I always wonder if the baby will look like me or Brad. Mike and you will make a cute baby. I am so tired today. I feel so pregnant today. Baby stuff is so expensive. I am getting nervous about getting everything we need. I really hope we get everything.
from kris-tee :
My migraines were so so bad in the beginning. I had to take medicine with codeine in it. I hated to take it with being pregnant, but I had no choice. I have not had to take it in a while though, so that is good. I donít know if the skin thing is hereditary or not, my momís mom did not have it, and neither did her sister. So, maybe I will get lucky. I was so pissed this morning, I have not had any fast food lately and I was SO active this weekend, I mean really really active, so I had weighed myself on Thursday and I was 157, so I thought maybe I had lost some weight, no I went up to 160. So, I called my mom and she told me to calm down and my body is going to do that. It made me mad though. Seriously, I really donít care about the weight anymore, I just care about the extra skin, stretch marks, and varicose veins, I know I will be skinny because I canít stand not to be. I tell Brad I feel lonely a lot. I do a lot of things by myself too. I told my parents everyone at our church probably thinks that I am a single mom because he never goes with me. I made him go to some of the appts in the beginning of being pregnant, but it was boring for him. No matter what, it was hard for him to get in to. Now, the sonogram appt, he loved. But everything else, he does not care too much. I think itís his age. I think if he were older, he would be more in to it. Kissyís entry was so sweet. It made me cry. Although I have noticed I am so much more emotional now then I ever have been. I am going to update about what happened with SIL and MIL last night soon. The whole thing is crazy. I think it would be good if maybe Mike and you took a night out of the weekend, say like Friday nights and did something together, like go to the movies or something. That way, you can spend actual time together. I mean, this situation could be worse, at least you guys like each other. You have dated some really hot guys with some great names. I feel so sheltered after reading that page! Haha! About the bedding, I think I like the 1st one better, but the 2nd one looks more boyish.
from starlight42 :
hey, sorry, just catching up...um, first, loved the baby cribs, those are great. Also liked the boy pics, man- did you ever date anyone ugly?! Guess not, lucky girl! To answer your questions on Dave's smoking, I have been asking Dave to work on quitting since we got together 3 years ago, and he's always said he wants to, but when it comes down to it, he never can. I think he's been smoking about 6 or 7 years now and he's smoking about a pack or a little less a day. He was down to a half pack a day at one point...hopefully he'll keep trying, I just don't want him to end up dying because of it...
from soverycherry :
It's not too much to ask at all. At least he's showing some interest, unlike some baby daddys I know. I just wonder how long this feeling of being lonely is going to last.
from kris-tee :
I am SO happy you are back today! I really missed you on Friday! I have felt like crap for almost a week now, I am on the verge of going to the Dr because I thought I had a slight cold, but now, I am starting to think maybe it is a sinus infection and if that is the case, I need to go to the Dr so they can give me medicine to get rid of it. Itís not good to be sick when your pregnant. I keep having to take Tylenol cold and sinus and then I worry about the affects on the baby from that. You have no idea how scared I am of the skin sag. I am so so scared. My momís is TERRIBLE. You probably will not get it because you are small, but I am getting huge. I donít understand it either because I am so freakin active. I went out to dinner with my dad on Saturday night and told him that I swear if my belly looks like that, I am getting plastic surgery. I will Ali, I swear I will. I told my mom jokingly today that if I have to sell my body on the street in order to get the money to get the plastic surgery I will. She keeps telling me that nature is going to do itís thing, I need to calm down about it. I canít stop thinking about it. I really donít want it to happen to me. Yeah, I heard about Gwyneth naming her baby that. What was she thinking? Apple?? Um, ok. My mom called me this morning to tell me that. I have stopped worrying about being thin again, because I know I will be thin again, I am too motivated to be thin to not be thin. My main concerns now, are varicose veins and the extra skin around the belly. I think that is so cute that you put your cell phone on your belly and he pushes it off, I am going to try it in a minute. Donít get too upset about people not wanting to feel him move, or not really caring the only person that gets in to it like me is my mom. She gets so excited. But Brad does not. I guess I had different expectations of him as a soon to be dad that he did not fill. Like he does not rub my belly or talk to the baby or any of that. Oh well. I hope you feel better! You probably just donít feel good today, they say you donít get sick later in the pregnancy.
from betchy :
dont worry it was just my computer. i like the le cirque stuff better its really nice colours. your poor cousin must be eally going through it at the moment, and the sad thing is, that even if that guy does get off of drugs, no matter how long he stays off he will go back to them. i deal with drug addicts every single day in my job, and they all go back. one guy had been clean for 18 years and he went back, nothing happened to him, he just fancied a hit one day and went back to them. he is still a junkie now. its sad but once an addict always an addict. that is the sad truth. i hope your cousin will get through this though. i wish i could buy maddy a swingset!!! that is so sad!! i cant believe he took the money for it. actually i can, but its so awful. i really hope you dont feel too lonely sweetie, it must be horrible to not have anyone to share the movements and things with, but until you tell your parents, why not ring up renee when the baby moves, so you have told someone? that way you are still sharing it. i dont know maybe thats a daft idea, i just dont like to think of you feeling sad. take care sweetz, beckz x
from betchy :
hey, have you changed your password or anything? because really trying to read your update, and i cant get in!! it could be my computer playing up!!
from tanprincess :
yeah i'm a slut...but damn it sure was worth it!! haha. i do like him just dont know what i want right now. i get so lonely but at the same time i dont know if i want a serious relationship right now?? i know he would treat me very good and cherish me, but i dont want to hurt anyone, ya know. he already told me that he can see himself becoming very attached to me, that kind of scares me, i dont know maybe i'm just confused to what i want in my life??
from singlegirl :
I finally caught up on your diary! It wouldn't have taken me so long, but I was super busy at work the past 3 days. I'm actually at home now in my pj's because they gave me today and Friday off - yay! Good luck telling your parents and other family members this week - you'll get through it just fine. Look how well you've handled everything else. Let me know if you need anything. Oh, and for what it's worth, I like Le Cirque better than Red Barn, although they are both so cute.
from kris-tee :
Your pictures are so pretty! It makes me want to dye my hair brown! We have skinny pictures of me all over the house and it makes me sad to look at them. I was looking at my wedding dress the other night, itís a size FOUR. I was so tiny in it. I miss my old body! I just wish I knew that my tummy was going to look normal again and I was not going to have varicose veins. Last night Brad and I were talking about how big my belly is and he made a comment that in a couple months we will be saying, Wow, remember when you were that big? I canít believe I weigh 160 lbs. I canít believe this. That is the weight I wanted to weigh when I HAD the baby. I still have MONTHS to go. Brad was so so sweet yesterday, he was being so affectionate. It was nice. We have been fighting over the dumbest things lately, so it was nice to have the entire day together and not argue and him be so sweet. I am really glad Mike and you are talking again and Iím glad Renee had a little talk with him, I am sure that had to help. Friday was so boring without you! I was so so bored.
from betchy :
i'm not hungover actually, i thought i might be!!! i had a bit of a mad one, i am such a cock when it comes to fenton!! read my latest, honestly ali, you wouldnt believe what i did!!! they should banish all the gin from the country!!! anyway, were things left in a nice way with mike when you last saw him? did he say he was going to call you? maybe he got mashed at the weekend, and didnt want you to think he was an unfit father, so he will leave it until tonight or something? the things he was saying to you and to renee really did make it sound like he carse for you and the baby, i am sure there is a reasonable explanation. by the way you look really beautiful in the photographs you scanned on, lucky you!!!! speak soon beckz x
from dandlioneyes :
you'll just have to wait and see until august, i guess. ;-) lets just hope for a healthy and happy griffin and a happy and healthy ali. hope you have a good day!
from aidawrites :
It sounds like deep down Mike does care, he just needs a little more reinforcement, he is young after all. You need to slap him around a little and be like, Hey, can I get some help, i'm carrying your baby! LOL Anyway, dont actually slap him...just shake him. heehee. I'm quite upset that Marc didnt call obviously, but i'm going to try not to think about it right now. All i know is that our relationship better not be like this up and down shit, I already had that with Matt. It sucks to be happy one day and then miserable the next, it might be good for weightloss, but that's all its good for. I rather be 108lbs and happy rather than 95lbs and miserable.
from betchy :
well sounds like things are going to go well with mike then, thats great. how was your weekend. mine was eventfull (check out my latest entry, it was a bloody night mare) anyway, let me know whats happening with you soon, i have been dying to find out if you have told your parents!! if you did i realy hope things went ok, speak soon, beckz x
from dandlioneyes :
hey there! i'm sure griffin will be a very handsome boy - but it is so hard to tell who he will look like. what do you imagine when you thnk of him? in any case, thanks again for sharing the pictures.
from dandlioneyes :
those are lovely pictures! thank you for sharing.
from girlygirl83 :
Your such a beautiful girl, Inside as well as outside! Keep it up! Your gonna b e great!
from princesstosh :
Silly Mike. Did he not return calls when yall were dating, or is this something new? I cant wait to see the pics. And really, I couldnt much tell the difference in the pics of your face. I havent seen any from the waist down, since you've been pregnant so im not sure if its obvious or not. But your face hasnt changed. And, really its not that crazy that your mom hasnt noticed. You know how someone you see everyday wont see a change because they are around you all the time, so it would have to be noticeable whereas someone you just see every once in a while would probably pick up on it because they'd remember how you were last time, and this time you're different and it would be more drastic, you know? Or, maybe she does know and shes just waiting for you to tell her. She'd have to be one heck of a person to sit around and wait though, lol. I dont think I could do that. But, anyway I had better get to bed. Getting up early isnt my best suit, and i've got to do it tomorrow. Nix that, Michael just came in and said he's hungry for Taco Bell, so thats where i'll be. LOL doesnt he know I need LOTS of beauty rest?! Take care! Thanks for the little chat and maybe one day this week i can email you and teach you how to use messenger so we can chat in the evenings or days. Night!!
from princesstosh :
oh ok. I'm using this cause it sucks my last comment doubled. It makes your comments look all icky, sorry. I was just wondering, I thought we could chat. I guess we can note back and forth. When are you going to post the other pictures? what are they of?
from yellowrosetx :
It's good to hear you sounding more optimistic! :o) You sound like you had a really good day! Hope you have a great weekend!
from betchy :
yay, thats so cool that things have worked out ok with mike, i had a funny feelng that they would!!! he seems like a really good guy, he wont let you go through this by yourself. hope things go ok at the doctors anyway, let me know what happens, speak soon, beckz x
from girlygirl83 :
Hey, I like griffen James or Griffen Nicholia. I hope that your not mad at me, I dunno. I just feel like people on diaryland are mad at me because I Don't leave them notes anymore. I just don'th ave hte internet anymore you know? di don't know.
from starlight42 :
I got my comments thing from here: http://www.haloscan.com They have styles to choose from & they automatically have that other stuff entered so you don't have to, don't know how they do it...
from eggsaucted :
The end of pregnancy does tend to mean some water retention. I had some swelling in my fingers so my rings were tight and I quit wearing them. But otherwise no swelling to speak of. It's another one of those happens to some people but isn't a given sort of issues.
from saucy99 :
That is so funny that you were already at that site. I like any verion of Nicholas, but I particularly like Nikolai or Niko, just because it's a little different from your standard Nick. It's especially nice if that's what your grandpa's name is. In Greece, it is tradition to name your kid after your parent which is why so many people have the same name and why half the Greek men are either names, Nick, George, Alex, or John. I have the same first name as my grandmother. If you want something more unique, Achilles is also good. I especially love the way its pronounced in Greek, i think its prettier and more musical than the english pronounciation. The best way I can write it for you the way it is pronounced in Greek is, "Ah-hee-leh-ah". I don't know if you can tell what that is supposed to sound like.
from saucy99 :
Hey, here is a website with Greek baby names: http://www.babynamenetwork.com/origin.cfm?origin=Greek You can sort just by boys names too.
from kris-tee :
Christina was very surprised, I just told her Brad had been with 11 girls. She was like, OMG, I never thought of him like that. Then we started talking about how many people we have been with, she has been with 12, I have been with 7. I wish the number was less then that though. Christina was like 12 is so many, I told her at least it was not 35. Ew, 35 is really gross now that I think about it. I donít think I was really thinking about Trish before. That is nasty. Really gross. Iíve never even dated 35 guys let alone slept with that many!!! My friends Christie and Christina would hang out with these greek guys all the time back in our single days, they were loaded and they were a lot of fun. I donít remember any of their names though. The one guy that Christina liked came to her bar the other night and asked her about me, she said, sheís married and pregnant, he was like WHAT?? I like greek names though, I was just looking at some on the web, I looked up Blake, itís an English name and it means attractive. I like that!! Brad would love to live in Florida. He used to always say that. I want him to join some kind of secret service so, you never know, we could end up in the south. He wants to do more then be a trooper and he definitely would be so good for the secret service. He is so honest, he never ever lies. Ever. I hate to paint and so does Brad. I really want the dining room painted though and I want our room painted. Iím thinking I could talk our momís in to it again. Iím a spoiled brat. My mom and dad would do just about anything for me. Brad is spoiled but my parents have more money then his so it seems I am more spoiled then him, but now they spoil him too so he canít complain. I have not swelled yet, have you? I am so nervous to swell, I am praying I donít swell. Ok, Iím going to update before I write everything to you instead of in my diary.
from eggsaucted :
I hate detest and abhor going to the doctor, but last year when it seemed like I was there constantly I actually liked it. My midwife Kim was fantastic, in fact I still see her for all of my annual women's health checkups. I have an appointment with her this summer. My disliking doctors so much is what tipped my mom off, I accidently said I'd been at the doctor and she knew there was no way I'd go to the doctor. I had been working for a while on a way to tell her anyway. Definately check in mental health appointments, I think you'd get a lot out of them, especially if you get someone good and if your doctor who you love makes the recommendation then I'm sure they'd be a good person to talk to. I still think maybe you should call Mike. I'm not saying force him into anything, but I'm sure he doesn't want to be pushy either and it wouldn't hurt for you to establish that you can call him sometimes. Remember with this baby communication between the two of you is going to be REALLY important you shouldn't ever feel like you can't call one another that it's being pushy if you do. Telling your parents may seem scary, but it's so much less stressful when you stop hiding things.
from saucy99 :
Hey, I'm Greek so I love Greek names too. I like all the names you listed a lot. Some of the other Greek names I really like are: Alexander (protector of mankind), Cyril (Godly), Ares, Jason (healer), Thanos (noble).
from eggsaucted :
Good luck at your appointment tomorrow. The test really isn't all that bad. Have fun at the concert tonight.
from saucy99 :
Thanks! I promise to leave notes!
from eggsaucted :
Cool, I'll send her a quick email. She, dandlioneyes and I all went to high school together way back in the day.
from saucy99 :
Hi there! I was wondering if I could get the password to your diary. A lot of people I read, read you, and it seems like you have a lot going on in your life right now. If you don't want to post it on my notes so no one else can get it who doesn't ask, eggsaucted's and dandlioneyes' have my email, so if you give them the OK, they can just email it to me. Hang in there, I can tell you're going through some rough times. I'm sure things will turn out OK. Take care!
from kris-tee :
Ha, I never knew there was a what to expect when your wife is expecting book! I may just go and pick that up this weekend. Seriously. Brad and I are both insecure when it comes to each other. I doní t know why he is insecure though, I am huge and I have utters for boobs. Yeah, sleeping with a married man is tacky. I guess I just thought there was a lot of jealousy there too with Trish. I have delt with so much freaking jealousy in my life. I hate it. I think I just did something really dumb. I bought Wal Mart paint. I did not feel like going to home depot, so I just bought the paint there, and I did not even think about it till after the guy mixed the paint that it was the Wal-Mart brand paint. My mom said she is going to kill me if it takes her ten million coats to apply. Dammit. I do the dumbest things sometimes. I donít know why I did that. I have never bought Wal-Mart paint since we have lived in that house. Hopefully it will be ok. Haha, the dildo thing made me crack up! You are so right though. I mean, I can understand using a vibrator because that is a different sensation, but a dildo? Itís the same thing as a man. Brad always thinks itís cool that I will say a girl is hot. Like, if we are out and I see a girl with huge boobs, I will say to him, OMG< look at that girls boobs! And he will laugh. Last week we were at the store and this girl had on the tightest jeans ever, I was like, Brad, can her jeans get any tighter? She had a nice butt and body too, but the jeans were skin tight. Brad was laughing. I guess I can point out other women to him cause Iím not insecure. He always tells his friends and co-workers that his wife is so cool because I do that. I mean, a lot of women would get mad for their guy to look, I could care less, I know I look better anyway! Even though I appreciate an attractive women, I would not sleep with one. I could care less if Brad looks at a pretty women, I mean, how can I get mad at him for something I do too? I mean, then again, guys probably think, I want to take that girl home, where I think, awww what a pretty women. I am going to take the classes, I just have to sign up still. Someone is supposed to call me, they said if they have not called by my 30th week to call them. You know, about the women being closer then they are to men, you are right, they are a different kind of closeness, I could definitely say things to you that I would not say to Brad. If Brad does not straighten his act up, we may just be heading south! Haha, just kidding! Thatís one thing about marriage you always have to stick it out. I am so bad at sticking things out. Brad just called and is being really super sweet. He told me to leave work and meet him for lunch. He knows I canít do that! I am so glad I have you to talk to during the day, it makes my day go by so much quicker. I just bought the border for Blakeís room. That is the 1st thing I have bought for him so far. I hope he looks like Brad. Brad was so cute as a baby. Ha, heís not too bad as a man either! I think your mom is going to ask you. Seriously, I have NO IDEA how you are hiding this from her. I mean, my mom knows me like no one else and I have to tell you, I look very pregnant. My belly sticks out past my boobs. Not a lot, but you can definitely tell I am pregnant. I donít look fat, I look pregnant. I like the greek names. They are different.
from eggsaucted :
The stuff I drank last year was like really sweet orange soda, not like the grody stuff you need for catscans and stuff. The classes teach you about breathing through contractions and all that fun stuff. I didn't start screaming until her highness was crowning and the big moment to push came and no class in the world could have taught me how to deal with that in any other way. I didn't curse at kevin or do anything but psuhing an 8lb baby out of my vagina hurt A LOT and I screamed and there was no way in hell to avoid screaming. Now remember I couldn't have an epidural or any other pain medication, my labor went too fast. So it went fast, but I felt all of it.
from kris-tee :
No, I have not signed up for the classes yet. Brad is not particularly excited about going, although he would never say it, I can tell. I am going to go, but if I feel that they are stupid, I am leaving, my mom swears by them, she says it will help my breathing and such. I kind of do want to take them so they can show me how to not scream at the top of my lungs. My SIL and her friend did not take them and they both screamed and screamed. I do not want to scream. My mom will probably tell me to shut up if I do. Brad is driving me up the wall. I love him dearly, but I really wish I could move to Georgia for the next three months and be pregnant with you, then come back after I have the baby! How crazy is that? At least we can understand each other! Haha! Did you read that article in Cosmo, I did not read the whole thing, I kind of skimmed over it, but it was about how a lot of women have closer relationships with their best friends then they do with their bfís and husbands. I thought that was funny. I donít think that is true in Bradís and my case though. I love Christina but I donít know if I am closer with her then Brad, Brad and I are pretty close, itís just with the pregnancy things are getting weird. The article was also about women hooking up with their best friends. I just thought that was odd. This one women said her and her best friend would shop for lingerie together then um, like mess around with each other with their bfís watching. HmmmmÖ Thatís a little strange. I could not imagine that. Brad would hate it. I know guys all say it would be their ultimate fantasy, but Brad would never like it. Heís very in to me. He would be too worried I would like the girl too much. That is what he says anyway.
from sweet-cynic :
yeah i was sooo angry at him.. i understand why he got mad because dinner i was cold and short and frustrating him so it was kinda like a last straw.. but i HATE that she was there to see it. i hope she goes away for the summer too.... i don't know how i'm ever gonna be okay with her.
from kris-tee :
I see what your saying about Mike calling you. Itís like weather you called him or not, he should have picked up the phone by now and called you. Thatís funny you are excited about football, so are brad and I. Brad and my dad are big time Ravens fans. My dad owned two seats and him and my mom went to every game. Then when I married Brad, my dad bought four more seats, so now he owns six seats. My parents already brought Blake his Ravens outfit. That was the very 1st thing anyone ever bought him! For Halloween I want my cousin to make Blake a little State Trooper uniform, she is really good at sewing, so I think she could do it. I hate my boss, I hate my boss, I hate my boss. Sorry, she just came over here and spoke to me and I had to get that out. I really hate her. I really really do. If she was my MIL I would kill myself. Mike is an idiot and so is Brad. Guys just suck in general when it comes to women being pregnant. They donít know how to act or what to do. Brad is MARRIED to me and very non-understanding. He now thinks Iím going to divorce him. Heís driving me nuts. He really is. I am so dependant. I donít need anyone in the world. I love that about myself. If we were on the verge of ever really breaking up, I would never beg for him back or act crazy. I hate when girls beg for their guy back. Itís pathetic and I did it once and I would never do it again. When I think of the way I acted that way, (it was with one of my exís) I make myself sick. I would never do that again, no guy is worth all that.
from eggsaucted :
Oh and I never took pre-natal classes, I saw no point and I still don't know what help they would have provided. My midwife was great at the birth and everyone I know who did go to the classes said they didn't remember any of that crap when the time came anyway.
from eggsaucted :
The time I had a glucose tolerance test before I was pregnant the stuff I drank was nasty, the one took last year during my pregnancy wasn't that bad it was just really really sweet. The first test I had a needle in my arm for 3 hours, last time just two quick blood draws and I HATE needles, but I was rather impressed that it wasn't that bad.
from betchy :
i really think things will be ok with mike. he sounds like a good egg. you should defianately call him tonight, and make sure you let me know what happens. i hope your test goes well, come to think of it when my friend vickie was pregnant she said she had to drink something that tasted like orangeade. so it should taste ok, she's not very good with funny tasting things either!! just out of interest, have you been going to any ante-natal classes?
from starlight42 :
hope you feel better soon!
from betchy :
the diabetes test shouldnt be too bad. i have had one before, and if it is the same then they just take a little blood from the middle of your arm. unless you dont like needles. then you are right, it will suck. have you thought about texting mike? one text is not like you are getting on his case. he may not have been in contact because he may not want to pressure you. you did say you would call him, then you didnt. he may honestly think that you've thought aboutit and changed your mind about him being involved. he may be just as worried as you. how were things between the two of you last time you spoke to him?
from kris-tee :
I think your mom may be catching on. Especially if she was looking at you oddly, also, no matter how ďnormalĒ you think you are acting in front of her, you probably are acting a little different. I did not get a chance to get on the computer last night to read the letters, I donít know what is wrong with me, I am on this cleaning frenzy, I canít seem to get the house clean enough. I think Iím losing it. I think you should call Mike. It does not hurt anything by just calling him, you two really need to talk about everything. Like what kind of part he is going to play and stuff. Ok, Iím going to update my diary. You can post the letters in my notes if you want and then I will erase them as soon as I read them, I hate that I canít check email from here.
from tanprincess :
yeah we have exchanged a ton of pics. i have been talking to him for over a year. i do not plan on sleeping w/ him esp. if i really do like him. i want to do this right, ya know? i hope that you feel better soon, i can't imagine how you are feeling. are you not going to call mike to see if he's going to go to the doctor w/ you tomorrow? does he know you have an appt. tomorrow? i guess one might say if he does know then let him call you if he is really interested?? i dont know what to tell you? i wish he would go w/ you and hear the heart beat and all that other stuff, but at what point do you stop asking him to be involved w/ out him doing it on his own?
from betchy :
i know what you mean about wanting to get voicemail. is it because you are too nervous to actually talk to him, but you still need to get in contact?? because i do that. phone someones mobile hoping it will be off, then they answer!! dammit!! why dont you text him? just say something like "hi mike its ali, just wondering if you still wanted to come to the doctors with me 2moz, if not give me a bell and i'll get renee to come with me. cheerz. x" although obviously not written as if you were me , but you get the drift!! i think you may be pleasenly surprised by him, i have a feeling. my girls are coming to stay with me again in august, so i am really looking forward to that. i always get a bit down on the dumps when they leave, or if i go to stay with them and my dad, so i am probably being way over sensitive about the whole fenton thing. never mind. what are you going to do about the docs 2moz? are you going to try mike, or just get your mate to come with you?
from aidawrites :
Oh yeah, he has the GA drawl, and its irresistable. Gorgeous man he is. But i'm already trying to convince myself that it isnt going to work, i feel like he will never call me again, i dont know, i'm not my calm collected self today. Did you see Trish last night? OMG! I actually felt sorry for her, but hello! Psychopath! I love Jessica, she's my fave.
from aidawrites :
I guess I am jumping the gun and being too impatient about this whole thing. I'm just used to guys calling me, so this is new for me. He's unlike any guy i've ever met, maybe it's because he is from Georgia! Is the charm thing all a fake? I dont know, I feel like he isnt taking me seriously. Then again, maybe it's too soon to tell. It's so hard to look at your phone and see he hasnt called, it drives me up the wall with hives. I'm such an impatient person. Well, thanks for the advice, i think i am going to try to cool down and let him make the next move.
from betchy :
i think i am a bit annoyed because i really enjoyed being infatuated with fenton!! i didnt really want or expect anything to happen, i mean two drunken snogs doesnt amoun to much does it? then he went and got in the way all last week, and the infatuation wore off. but i got used to him being around. we were like a little crew last week. but now this week my sisters have gone home, which always depresses me anyway, and also, i havent seen fenton much and i hate to admit it, but i have missed him being around!! especailly coz my sisters have gone too. i've been by myself all this week and its been horrible. but now he isnt here, and that infatuation is creping back in, but i dont want it to be like that. i would rather have kept it how it was before, or kept it like it was last week. i dont want to go back to being infatuated after he saw that different side to me last week. "the real me" as he called it. does that make sense? its isnt really making sense to me, so fair play if it is to you!!! let me know as soon as you can what hapened with mike last night, i hope it all went ok!!! speak soon sweetz, beckz x
from kris-tee :
If I were you, I would just stop talking to Ingrid all together. Also, I think you should tell your parents without her knowing at all. That would KILL her for you to go to your parents and talk to them without telling her that you are going to do it. I think you should just go over there and do it, if anything that will make her more mad that they finally know and she had nothing to do with telling them. Also, it makes it so it came from you and not her. It would be great too if you went and talked to them and told them that Ingrid has known and you have not felt her to not be very supportive and you really did not want them to talk to her about the situation. As for Mike, I think you should call him though because you told him you were going to call him after KY so now maybe he thinks that you donít want him involved. Thatís why I think you two need to lay out some ground work here, I mean, your down to 12 weeks and thereís going to be a baby to think of, so it would be good for everyone to start making plans and figuring things out. The sooner the better for him and you, your parents even and his parents. I know you donít want your life to change, but it wonít change all that much. I mean, it will be different, but you already know that. I just know that your parents are going to support you and I just know once everyone knows, it will be ok and I think it will make Ingrid even more mad. Everything is going to be ok Alexia. This is not the worse thing that could have happened. I hate that you donít have many allies, I guess thatís part of the reason I want you to tell your parents so bad, I just know they will not turn their backs on you. Just ignore Ingrid, if she is going to be this way, fine then let her. She will be the one sorry in the end. You said what I was thinking about teenmomma, about the skank thing, that is what I was trying to say when I said she comes from a diffent place then you and I. I still feel really sorry for her and her situtation though. How terrible. That would be really neat if Soverycherry had a little boy! We could all meet like once a year and do stuff with them together. That would be fun!
from kris-tee :
Iím not trying to be mean here or anything, Iím just being honest, I mean, I feel for this girl, I really do, but I think she comes from a different place then you and I. Her mom is messed up in the head if she thinks she is a slut. That is terrible about the women giving labor. OMG, I would die, I would not be able to handle life without Brad. Brad says I should not say things like that, but I canít help it. I donít know what I would do without him. A couple months ago, a trooper around here got in to a bad accident and has been in a coma since, his wife is due in August. I feel so bad for her. I like Soverycherry too, she is really funny. I have never been to Ohio, I donít know how far away it is from here, I am so bad with stuff like that. I once called someone about buying a dog that lived in Washington State. I thought they ment DC. Brad made fun of me forever. Have you talked to Mike, or tried calling him? It might be good for you two to lay out some groundwork about what your going to do. Is he going with you on Friday? I could never wait so long to tell my parents, it would be eating me up inside, knowing myself, I would just drive over there and blurt it out on a unplanned whim. If I am worried about something or something is on my mind, I have to get it out, otherwise it eats me up inside. Ingrid is such an asshole, she better not tell your parents, that would be so wrong of her. I hope she does email you back though, she should know better then to put anymore stress on you then you already have.
from kris-tee :
So far my iron has been ok, but I remember SIL had to take them, she would pass out and stuff if she did not take them, so be careful and make sure you take them. I thought I would have to take them because my iron used to be low before I even got pregnant, but so far it has been ok. I donít think your mom will feel weird around you. I think everything will be ok once you tell them. I think because you have waited so long to tell them you have built it up and built it up in your head so now your scared to death to tell them. Sometimes, itís better just to get it out. South Carolina is kind of far, but I think it depends where. I know North Carolina is about 6 hours away, but I guess it all depends on what the location is. I feel like I am on the verge of getting a cold. I feel awful. I hate being sick. On Friday May 21, I will be Seven months! You will be seven months this Friday, May 14. We are exactly a week and a day apart. Oh, I have an idea, we can force the boys to be pen pals! Haha!
from kris-tee :
OMG, go and read this diary, read it backwards though until you get to March. Itís not that many pages because she did not write everyday. I had tears in my eyes, I think I would have cried out loud if I had read it at home. Let me know when you read it. I swear, just when you think you have it bad you read something like thatÖ. Here I am all depressed over god knows what and this poor girlÖ.. http://teen-momma.diaryland.com/040314_43.html
from kris-tee :
Thatís a good point about our bodies being able to handle it if they were ment to be pregnant. Men do have it easy. I know what you mean about hair and make up. My hair looks so good, itís got tons of blonde streaks in it from the sun, I forgot my hair did this in the summer. I donít think I am going to dye it, Iím just not ready yet. Yeah, they were so funny talking about the single mom up the street, they kept going on and then Lauren and I were like, OK OK, shut up. Your mom will too call to talk, geeze, sheíll probably call you more to talk after you tell her. This is going to be their first grandchild, they are going to be excited after the shock of it all. Iíll check my email when I get home and read the letters. Part of me wants my brother just to stay there so that he can never do drugs again. Isnít that terrible? I am so tired today, I have no energy, I feel like I have no energy. I want some lemonade from home. Itís always too sweet if I buy it somewhere. Too bad I live too far to go and get some. I really want to see you one day after the babies are born. Is that weird or what? I told Brad I met a friend on the internet and I really want to meet her one day and he looked at me like I was crazy and said well, at least itís not a guy. The good thing is Bradís mom and dad and my mom and dad like to vacation in Florida so maybe we will be able to meet one day!!!
from singlegirl :
Hi. I'm dumb. I never tried to leave you a note, I just saw that your diary was locked. Anyway, I wrote you a note in my diary yesterday, but would love the password so I can see how you're doing. Thanks!
from eggsaucted :
See....it'll keep you young at heart. I don;t only watch teen shows, so I figure it balences out. Kevin says I watch the same shows as his 16 year old and usually teases me about it. But I don't really care, because he used to watch Buffy so HA!
from betchy :
guarentee you will feel better once you have spoken to him, you will have to let me know how it goes. as for fenton, the thing with me and him is so weird. i definately dont want a relationship with him, he definately is not attracted to me at all, i only really like looking at him, and to start with was just using him as a distraction from wizz, but, oh i dont even know why i am being like this, i think i get off on the chase, does that sound stupid? hope all goes well tonight, will leave you a note tomorrow, take care sweetie, beckz x
from elliemay23 :
I had to wear maternity clothes for about 3 or 4 weeks. The bad thing though is that the DAY BEFORE I delivered I bought $275 worth of maternity clothes. That sucked.
from kris-tee :
Yeah, I have decided I donít care what anyone says to me anymore. I donít like being pregnant, and that is NOT a bad thing. My mom LOVED being pregnant, I donít like it. To each his own, thatís not me saying I donít want this baby or anything, I just donít like being pregnant. I like the way my body used to look. I was so so skinny. I miss it. I have been looking at pictures of myself from last summer. I looked freaking great. Probably the best I have ever looked in my entire life. Yeah, I donít want to get any bigger either. I am just fine where I am now. I thought I wanted to wear sundresses all summer, but now Iím starting to think they make me look bigger. This stupid women last night at this store was going on and on about how big my belly was. I felt like telling her to shut up. My mom and everyone always says how tiny my stomach is, stupid girl. I called my mom after that incident and my mom said not to listen to people. I donít want a big ol huge belly. Why does everyone feel the need to comment, I mean, even the freaking sales lady. Itís rude to tell someone they have a big belly, pregnant or not pregnant. There are lots of great single mom stories. Lots of them. Last night, Brad and I were outside talking to our neighbors, Lauren and Dave, Brad and the Dave were saying how hot the single mom up the street was and how cute her little boy is, it made me think of you. Well, after Lauren and I yelled at them both for checking her out so closely. I had no idea who they were even talking about for a minute then they started explaining her to me. She is really pretty. She does not look like she even had a kid at all. I needed a strapless bra yesterday with the dress I was wearing and I was looking at all my B cup bras, I was holding them up to my chest, it looked like I have never been able to fit in to them. I hate this. I hate the big nipple look too. I heard about Seal and Heidi Klum. I canít believe Heidiís bf would leave her, sheís a freaking model, I guess it can happen to anyone thoughÖ.
from eggsaucted :
Probably never, you'll always have an excuse now that you have a kid. I really tried not to get into One Tree Hill and somehow it sucked me in.
from betchy :
hmmmmm, maybe he thinks you've changed YOUR mind about how active you want HIM to be, because you didnt call him when you got home from KY. i agree it isnt your responsibility to do all the calling, but a little cant hurt. maybe he wants you to call to confirm about going to the doctors?? you never know.there is also the fact that he is a man, and could well have forgotten what date the appointment is. renee sounds like an absolute godsend, you are so lucky to have friend like her!!! if you need a laugh, you should check out my ridiculous situation with the guy i like at the moment!! its driving me barmy!!! take care sweetz, beckz x
from eggsaucted :
Apparently One Tree Hill is gearing up for changes for next season. But I said the same thing last night, I hate season finales you never get a peak at the next episode and you have to wait 4 months to find out what's going on.
from kris-tee :
Ha! I have that same dress your wearing today! I wore it on Monday! It is so cute, but I had the same problem with the belly part being big. I really liked it because it was only 20 bucks too! When Christina and I went shopping on Saturday she was picking up all kinds of things trying to get me to buy them, finally I was like, Christina, I will only be pregnant for three more months, Iím trying to buy as little as possible at this point. I need lounge clothes though, some tshirts and more gym shorts. I also need to find a swim suit. My mom said lands end has maternity clothes and she thinks that they will have a good one with support at the top. I just want a plain black one that makes me look cute not have saggy boobs. I was telling my mom how you and I thought they should start the panel much higher and my mom said we wont be saying that in the 7th and 8th months. I told her weíll have to see. She said her belly was much bigger then mine at this point though. She said her belly was huge. My mom is short though, I think ití good that we are tall, that has to help some. I canít believe a guy at work said that about asking you a question. I think thatís a sign you should tell your parents soon. If Ingrid tells yours parents, I would never talk to her again if I were you, it is NOT her place whatsoever. I am glad Renee is so good to you. That is funny that Carrie keeps on calling. Itís just killing her that you are not turning to her anymore.
from betchy :
have you called him or tried to get in contact at all? or are you doing what i do and not even trying, because that way you cant be dissappointed?
from soverycherry :
Yeah, quite the sticky situation indeed. But! It wasn't just US who got into it. We had partners. Who are completely fucking off, by the looks of it. I just looked at the obit again, on our newspaper online, and the funeral is this Friday in WV, so I guess he won't be in town this weekend. There goes my running into him "accidentally" idea. I just need to talk to counsel as soon as possible, I guess. I don't even know what the procedure is for something like this. I'm just fed up with the whole thing.
from betchy :
you will be ok, but i think you need someone that is there with you telling you you will be ok. its all very well for me to sit here and say that, but i only know whats on this computer screen. have you spoken to anyone close to you about how terrified you are? what about mike? does he know how scared you are to tell your parents? maybe you could have him there with you when you tell them, so at least they know you wont be bringing the baby up all alone, the dad is going to have some contact. i dont know babe, i really do feel for you, but without knowing your parents i really dont know what the best thing to do is. i hope you dont feel too alone, at least you still have your friends!! take care sweetie beckz x
from yellowrosetx :
It's been said "When God closes a door, he opens another window." I've also heard with death, there is life. Translation: Precious, Little Kaya passed away, but you're blessing-to-be, your son, will soon be here and will bring so much joy to so many lives!:o) I know how hard it will be to tell them, but you have to trust that your parents will be there for you like they always have-they might surprise you! You need all the love and support you can get right now and down the road! Take Care! Stay positive!! Have Faith!! Things will get better! :o)
from dandlioneyes :
griffin'll be a leo! woohoo! i'm a leo, so is my husband. anyways, listen, i can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but don't you think the more time your parents have before griffin is born the more time they'll have to a) adjust and b) help you??? okay, i'm not saying anything here you don't know, so i'll stop. bottom line: good luck. i'll keep my fingers crossed.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey thanks for the note. That's soo sad about the little girl. I don't know why God takes little kids either! Your parents sound like mine, I'm also the 'black sheep' in my family, but I still know that my parents will always love me. Well, I'm gonna go. I don't know if I'm really gonna live here or not. I don't think that I will. I need to get cable at my condo though! I hope that you have a good week!
from dandlioneyes :
okay, to be totally clichťed, but to draw on a good quote nevertheless: you have nothing to fear but fear itself. it will be ok. i'll send good thoughts your way. what is your due-date?
from kris-tee :
I think the hormones are making me crazy or something. I love the blue and white outfit it is so cute.
from kris-tee :
I am so sorry about Kaya. I am going to email you after I add an entry. I'm home from work today.
from dandlioneyes :
hey chica, i haven't left a note in a while, been busy. just wanted to say that i was very sad and moved by kaya's death; you wrote about it beautifully. hope you are otherswise well. hang in there!
from kissssy :
I really wish I knew the words that would cheer you up. But, I don't. Especially since it isn't words you need, but reassurance from people other than us Diarylanders. I do know that you're going to remain so stressed out until you finally tell your parents and brace yourself for the hugs or hurricane... whichever happens. Something tells me though, that they won't hate you for this. You're their daughter and regardless of what you do, I know a parent's love is unconditional. I know this already and my first isn't even born yet. Think of that special little guy inside of you and ask yourself if there is anything he could do that would make you want out of his life. Something tells me there isn't. I can only recommend just telling them. Get it off your chest. If they do wind up taking it harshly, the shock will wear off and everything will be out in the open with relief. Hugggggs
from soverycherry :
See, that's what I thought initially too - that my parents were going to be SO MAD. I just kept apologizing over and over and over, which just upset them. My mom kept saying, "What are you sorry about! Quit saying that!" And then she was really hurt that I thought that they would be angry. I knew this wasn't something like I lied about a bad grade, or I had gotten a speeding ticket or something like that. This was life-changing, and they knew that. I don't think they were ever angry. I guess I'm fortunate in a way because my mom had been through this - as I've said before, she was 20, unmarried, living at home when she found out she was pregnant with me. She understands where I'm coming from, which is an advantage to me. Although you don't have that situation, I'm sure your parents won't be angry. They might be hurt at first, but not angry. I cannot express to you though exactly how much better you'll feel after you do tell them, though. You'll quit stressing out, and it will do wonders for you and the baby.
from theshakedown :
I have a cousin whom I was really close to at the time I got pregnant, turns out she got pregnant about a month prior to me (she was single also). The plan was to tell our parents on Father's Day TOGETHER. But the Saturday before, I was at my parents house and my mom got a call from my Aunt, telling us that my cousin was pregnant. My Aunt & Uncle were actually happy! My parents were still in shock, so I said, it's now or never. I just blurted out, "Well I have some news too. I AM TOO." They were like, "You are too what?" I was like, "Pregnant." They thought I was joking. Then they came around, my dad was just speechless and my mom cried tears of disappointment. They came around to being happy in about a day tho.
from theshakedown :
I don't have a digital camera, girl! I wouldn't trust myself taking it out while getting drunk anyway! haha! I usually buy a disposable, then get one-hour photo the next day, then we have a scanner here at my office that I use!
from soverycherry :
That's pathetic that grown-up (supposedly) people behave that way, like Carrie and your sister. If they have to rely on other people's problems to make their lives seem better, that just makes me feel really sorry for them. How sad. Well, when I left the note, my mom called me on my cell right away, and she was really calm about it and just told me not to do anything stupid. I don't know if she thought I was going to go throw myself off a bridge or what. I stayed away that night until I knew they wouldn't be around when I got home, so that I could just go to bed, which I did. I guess I gave it some time to sink in, but then nothing really seemed okay again until I told them that I had changed my mind. Now, everything is great. No worries. I really hope that for you, too. Telling them is going to be rough, and horrible, but the end result will be great - much like labor and delivery, I'm sure! Again, I'm sorry your sister has so much malice for you. It's really sad. I don't know how I'd handle it if mine were behaving that way.
from starlight42 :
ya, the next Survivor is on this Thurs. I can't wait. I should go vote for Rupet again...lol
from soverycherry :
We should both just move somewhere in between GA and VA - one of the Carolinas, perhaps? That will be ideal, you know, once I win the lottery and everything. Anyway, I left a note in front of the computer and booked it out of there, and didn't even talk to them until the following day, and then it was just my mom. However, this was still when I was getting an abortion, so it was a lot different when I told them I had changed my mind. I actually didn't even talk to my dad until after I had changed my mind; he was out of town. They were a lot happier at that point, anyway, and it made things a lot easier. That was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do: break the news to my parents. I've never been more stressed out about anything in my entire life, so I can just imagine how you're feeling. It's so hard, and nobody can even know what it's like unless they've been there. I am just extremely lucky to be in the situation I am in (Jeremy not withstanding). From what you've said about your parents, I'm sure they'll be the same way. The initial reaction is the most difficult, but after discussing it some and figuring things out, it's wonderful. I'm very lucky. I'll probably get my mom to go with me when I have that test done - or Katrina. Thankfully, she's a teacher so she doesn't work during the summer, so she'll be there. She loves babies and kids, and she even offered to watch the baby for her three weeks she has off in December (after I come back to work) so I don't have to get child care right away! Now there's a true friend for you. Again, I am so very, very lucky. I'm sure everything will work out with your parents. I'm not going to tell you to just suck it up and tell them, because you have to feel like it's the right time to do it before you come clean. I just couldn't hold it in any longer, and I had only known for like, 5 days! I don't know how you're doing it. Also, I'm sure that once you tell them, they'll be so excited and that will really piss your sister off, ha! That's wrong, but oh well. Anyway, what do you think Carrie said? Do you think she got really defensive? She needs to get over it and understand (like you said) that she has the easy part, and sh just needs to be there for you in your time of need. That's what friends are for; not to be critical. I don't know if I could deal with that over on my end.
from eggsaucted :
Everyone has their own beliefs, but I absolutely didn't want to know the sex. Besides unless you do amnio there is no guarantee that their right. Karen hasn't work a day in over 11 years. She didn't work when they had to declare bankrupcy, she didn't work when they almost lost their house because she didn't pay the mortgage for 6 months. Kevin makes enough money to cover all of the bills and she just doesn't pay them. He's not home enough to take over all the bills, so she has to and then she does whatever she wants. He tried taking away her ATM card and checkbook but she went to the bank and got more. He can't not give her checks because she has to pay for stuff for the kids. I thought Kevin should leave her long before I we ever dated, so does every single person who knows him. Including his own father who told him never to marry her in the first place because he said she was a lazy raving lunatic who would only bring him down and was only looking for a father for her children. She sits there and does nothing. He's been miserable for 13 years but he tries to leave she lies to the kids and threatens to call the cops and file a false police report. Even if he is proven innocent he'll still lose his job and then the kids have nothing. Karen loves the power she has. She loves to manipulate people. She doesn't care about Kevin or really about the kids, she only really likes babies and herself. She's afraid of him leaving because she'd have to work maybe, even though we promised to pay all of the bills. But she doesn't like that we said she had to give us the bills, we won't give her money. It's an impossible situation.
from betchy :
i feel for you babe, i really do. i wish i could say something to make you feel better, but i havent been in your position, so i cant. when i was pregnant i didnt even know about it until it was all over, so i cant even help you out there. all i can do is give you my perspective on things, and the way i deal with them, and thats to always think positive. yes your parents and your brother may very well be mad at you, they may even say some hurtful things, but do you really think they are going to stay that way forever? they aint going to miss out on all the wonderful things that come with the baby. if you werent as close with them as you are i could see how you may think that, especially with their beliefs, but they love you. hell, you're a christian arent you? how would you feel if it was your daughter? they're not going to cut you out of their life, they will be mad but it wont last forever. you just need to get the bad bit out of the way so you can enjoy the wonderful part. you will be ok sweetz. beckz x
from betchy :
sweetie, i really, really dont think that mike would say anything like that about you, and its good that it makes you feel better when he's around. maybe its more of a comfort thing than a lust thing, but you know, sometimes maybe thats better!! does it not make you sad that you and your sister dont get along? or is she that bad you really dont want to get along with her? that sounded really awful then, and i didnt mean for it to, i guess i just cant imagine not getting along with my sisters. at least you and your brother are cool though. did you say he does know about the baby, or he doesnt, i forgot.
from soverycherry :
I'm sure that will be the big storyline for next season. She'll have the baby and then Ephram will see her out somewhere and figure it out and then hate his dad forever. That's what I'm predicting, anyway. I just can't believe that all three shows went down the same route! Terrible. Anyway, I wish we lived near each other - I'd totally go to the doctor with you! That would be kind of fun, actually. Also, I knew I couldn't tell my parents face to face. I would've never been able to get the words out because I tend to get really emotional and I would have been crying too hard to talk. That's why I had to leave a note. It was very cowardly, but that's the only way I could do it. Well, hopefully once you tell your parents, they'll help you out with baby stuff. If your mom is anything like mine, you'll be swimming in stuff in no time. My mom stopped buying me clothes a long time ago, but lately every time she goes out, she comes home with maternity clothes for me. It's pretty funny, actually. Soon I'll have more maternity clothes than regular clothes. I'm scared to find out how much weight I've gained when I go to the doctor today. I feel like I've gained a whole lot more than I should have in the past month. I definitely have a little stomach now, but I don't think the rest of me (i.e., my ass, my boobs) has gotten any bigger. I guess we'll see. I'm going by myself today again. If they do an ultrasound and my mom misses it again, she's going to be pissed! Oh well, I'll always have the pictures. I think you should call Mike and ask him if he wants to still go on Friday - it's not like you're pressuring him to do anything, and you said that when you guys are together, things are good. So you should do it. Did Carrie respond to the email?
from soverycherry :
They didn't say what Madison decided to do on Everwood. She was really upset that Andy told her that Ephram wasn't to know. He said that no matter what she decided, he'd take care of her financially. Isn't that nice? Why can't I have a Dr Andy Brown in my life? Anyway, sorry you haven't heard from Mike. You were right the other day - I hope they wake up every single morning thinking about this and go to bed every single night thinking about this and that it just makes them physically sick. It's ridiculous. I just don't understand for the life of me where he's coming from. Anyway, I have to start buying other stuff soon. Like a crib, changing table, carseat, stroller, the list goes on and on and never stops. Bah. Thankfully, I have awesome parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and friends, so maybe I'll get a little help. My mom loves to shop, so that works to my advantage! I hope you have a good day!
from betchy :
hey sweetie, sounds like you and mike are getting getting a bit closer then?? he actually sounds like he is being pretty cool about everything that cant be bad!! i think you should just ignore your sister, if she is jealous to the point where it makes you hate her then it is her loss. hell, my sisters are slim and gorgeous and i wish i had their figures, but i would never be jealous of them or i would end up resenting them, and i dont want that, i love them too much and want a good relationship with them. i am really sorry to hear about kaya, it is always so sad when a child dies. bit curious about how you are managing to conceal your bump, surley you must be showing? you must be a creative genius clothes wise!! just had a look at you cast pictures, wow ali, you are really stunning!! and i expect you are blooming with the pregnancy aswell!! anyway, gotz to go, take care sweetz, beckz x
from eggsaucted :
I just really wanted it to be a surprise. I really wanted to have someone say it's a ______ and I have to tell you it was really cool. Kevin did in fact actually get flowers for my mom. Karen not only had her kids only spend $20 bucks on her, but she had to drive her daughter to the store buy the cards and flowers. If she's lonely it's her fault. Her oldest is 16 there is no reason why she couldn't have saved money to buy her mother something. Karen has not made it easy for anyone to like her. She spends money that they don't have however she wants. They have bounced checks every single month. Kevin won money during his bowling league this year and spent that on me for mother's day. She is in a horrible situation and is not making it any better or allowing anyone to be happy. She seems to enjoy making people miserable. I make sure Kevin remembers her birthday and mother's day. I'll always make sure he has the kids do something for her. But part of her unhappy lonely situation is her own damn fault.
from eggsaucted :
I know I totally know and I decided to not even find out the sex of the baby, so I was totally in suspense. But it was sort of fun that way. Holding my little girl in my arms for the very time and hearing Kevin say it's a girl.
from kris-tee :
I'm so dumb, that was supposed to go in my diary!!!
from kris-tee :
So, my brother has been calling my parents. My mom talked to his probation officer this morning on the phone and the probation officer has charges against him too for not paying his restitution. When I hear things like that I get really pissed off. Joe was living at home, he had no car payment, no insurance payment, no rent and he did not have to buy food. He should have had the whole restitution paid off by now. Ohhhh!! He makes me so mad sometimes. His probation officer also said he will probably have a trial within the next 30 days. I have a feeling he is going to be in jail when Blake is born. Oh well. I guess there is no use in thinking about that, whatever happens, happens. My friend Christina called at 8 am this morning to tell me that the new guy she was dating and her had sex last night. She was kind of upset because she wanted to wait. I told her not to worry about it though, I could tell they were going to have sex soon. They have spent everyday together since they met. They have only known each other for a couple weeks. Brad said to tell her that he was disappointed in her. I told him not to be stupid, Brad and I had sex on our third freaking date, it was totally not planned and I felt like crap afterwards because I thought it was way too soon. Brad is the only guy I ever had sex with so quick, in the past I always waited two or three months. But, I knew he was the one though. Christina wants to get veneers on her two front teeth. The girl is freaking georgous. She is so hot. I told her this morning that I really thought that it was a waste of money and that she should not get it done. She cancelled the appt. to think about it some more. I am contemplating on making her the godmother. Part of me really wants to. I donít know though. I already told my mom and dad I would pick my one Aunt. I just feel obligated to pick her. I mean, itís like I should pick her because she threw me my bridal shower and she offered to buy the crib for the baby, but Iím not that close with her and I donít feel like Blake is going to get to really know her at all. She is in her fiftyís and not in that great of health. She had a heart attack this past weekend, maybe that is more of a reason to pick herÖ. My mom said the responsible choice is my Aunt. I just donít knowÖ. I need to go to hallmark and get my mom and my MIL mothers day cards. I am such a slacker this year. I hope they still have them!!!
from eggsaucted :
I had no heartburn and my daughter was still born with a full head of dark hair.
from kris-tee :
I think bald babies are cute!! But oneís with hair are cute too! I told SIL that I wanted Blake to have hair and she said that babies with hair are ugly, then her baby was born with hair! I guess thatís what she gets for saying that!!!!! Oh, I have been meaning to tell you, re-search that 3-D ultra sound thing, because I was watching TV and they had this thing on 60 minutes saying that the 3-D ultra sounds are not good because there is too much radiation for the baby. They were saying that because the machines are so new, they donít have enough proof to show that they are 100% safe and that people were saying their children were born with birth defects and stuff because of them. It could have just been talk, but check with your Dr to make sure. I canít remember if I told you about that or not yet. Haha! I wanted a little girl that looked just like me too! My mom said as a newborn I was ugly though, she said my head was all big, but a couple months later I was so pretty! Brad was a cute little boy too. He is such a handsome guy. Brad is so bad though the other day he was like, Iím kind of scared what the baby is going to look like? Iím like WHY? And he says, well the ugliness has to come in somewhere! Since Brad and I met, people always say stuff like, you too are going to make the most beautiful babies, I hope they are not jinxing us. My niece Summer is so cute though, that is SILís little girl, and I think SIL is ugly and my BIL is Ok. He is not a cute as Brad. But their daughter is adorable. OMG, the last time I was at SILís house when her whole family ignored me, she had Summer in a outfit that was white and red checks with COWS on it. WTF? I would NEVER dress our daughter like that. I think itís funny because I know she wants Summer to hate me but she LOVES me, when everyone was ignoring me, she kept running to me and giving me hugs and kisses, she really is an adorable little girl. I have a fucked up way of thinking sometimes, I have that saying in my head, nothing lasts forever so sometimes I want the baby to look like Brad, but then I think, what if Brad and I get divorced, then I have a child that looks just like him? Then I want him to look like me. I have a strong feeling though he is going to look like Brad. I hate when I think of things like that, I just canít help it. I guess because that is my worst fear or one of my worst fears is that we would get divorced. Especially when Christina says stuff like our life is so perfect, that scares me. I mean, itís really not though, we are broke and we argue about money, when we get mad at eachother, I call him an asshole and then he calls me a bitch, then we make up two minutes later, but I donít tell people we do that because then they will think we are physco, but that is just our way. Yesterday, we were cleaning the carpets and I was like you are such an asshole, then he told me I was being a bitch, then we made up like five minutes later, but itís weird because if I told my mom we talked to each other like that, she would have a fit, but Brad and I have a bad habit of saying things we donít mean when we are mad. I do, especially, I have always done that. I hate that about myself. That is why I bite my tounge so much with SIL, I know that if I start, Iím going to stop, and then Iíll say something really really mean and regret it. I am the same way with SIL that you are with Ingrid. I want to do a really nice daycare with my liceanse the right way just so that I can tell everyone that I have a liceanse and she does not because she is too lazy to get one, which is why she does not have one, then after the baby is born, I want to hurry and lose all the weight really really fast. Then I want to work from home doing day care and take care of my baby and be really skinny! Haha!!!! Sheíll be so mad.
from kris-tee :
Iím glad you sent Carrie the email. Iím wondering what her response will be. I think she is going to apologize and say that she was wrong. Hopefully that is what she does. I called my mom about the chest pain thing and she said she thinks itís heartburn too. She also said the same thing about the baby having hair, she said the more you get the more hair they have. I want to scan a baby picture of Brads hair when he was a baby, it was so cute. He had these big soft fluffy curls and he had the most perfect little face. He looked like one of the little model kids on the polo website. I am going to bring a pillow in to work tomorrow so that I can put it on a box and keep my legs up. My mom is really concerned about my legs. They are ok now, but she had so many problems with hers. I noticed yesterday I look really pretty when I am tan. I met Christinaís new guy on Saturday and he told her that he thought I looked like Brittany Spears! Haha! Brad always says Brittany Spears is fat and I look nothing like her. He hates when people say that. I guess I am fat now though so Brad really canít say anything. I get the Brittany Spears thing a lot, I also get Jessica Simpson a lot too. I think I just look like me though. People always say everyone who has blonde hair looks like Brittany and Jessica. My mom has varicose veins in her legs from child birth. Child birth just totally messed up my mom completely, she had varicose veins, she has really bad stretch marks and extra loose skin. She is a lot shorter then me though. Ingrid and Jess do sound a lot alike. My dad was trying to talk to me yesterday about ďtrying to get along with JessĒ. I never ever argue with my father. To me he is the smartest man in the world and the kindest and most thoughtful, I listen to everything he says. But yesterday, I told him, no way, no how, I am completely done with Jess. I want NOTHING to do with her whatsoever. She is so fake and phony. She is so jealous of me and she is never going to change, she is always going to be like this and I am not putting myself out there for her anymore. Iím done thatís it. To tell you the truth, I canít wait to see her the next time I do because I am going to give her the COLDEST shoulder ever. I am going to pretend she does not exist. And if the next time I see her is at my shower, that will be even better! I donít want her to hold Blake at the hospital, I donít even want her to be there. At all. I keep having a feeling Iím going to have to have a C-section, maybe itís because Iím so scared of having one. Our deck looks so nice. Now we just need a hot tub to put back there.
from betchy :
hey sweetie, got back to work today, what a week i had!! havent had a chance to read whats been going on with you yet, coz have been so busy catching up, but will leave you a proper note when i have read the updates, just didnt want you to think i wasnt going to say hi when i got back. take care beckz x
from kris-tee :
Iím going to scream, I hate my boss so damn much. I really really do. At least Jody is not your boss. Is Griffin moving a lot? Or does this just mean Brad and I have a hyperactive child? OMG, Lexi, how am I ever going to make it here till August? This stress is not good for the baby. Thatís so funny about Jewel wanting to drink out of your cup! Thatís cute too though! I bet that kind of stuff just burns Ingrid up!! Iím glad you went out. I was in a good mood till I got here at work. I think I may ask to leave at 4:30. I think I will tell them that I have a drís appt. I keep feeling like chest pains or something for the past three days. Itís weird. But maybe itís heart burn. I donít really know what heart burn feels like though. I like the ponchos that you picked out. They are really cute. It is so damn hot here. I went to Old Navy and Motherhood looking for a swimsuit, they were terrible, they had not support for my chest and seriously, I think I am on the verge of a D cup right about now. My mom says my boobs are as big as my belly. They are HUGE. Christina thinks the swimsuits look so cute. I liked some of the ones at Old Navy, but there was NOTHING holding my boobs in, they looked like saggy old lady boobs! Then, I went to Motherhood and the lady was like, Are you finding everything Ok? And I said, yeah, I just donít understand why there is not a lot of support in the chest area when it comes to maternity swimsuits. There is not even a little bit of under wire, the older lady there looks at me and says, Well, there can not be any under wire in the chest area because that will hurt the baby. I just looked at her like she was the stupidest women in the world and said, I use under wire everyday in my bra and it does not hurt the baby. What a stupid thing to say! Under wire in a BRA hurts the baby? What a bunch of idiots. When are you going to call Mike? I think you should call him and have him go with you on Friday, but call him tonight to confirm it for Friday. I canít believe you are not showing that much. My belly is huge!
from soverycherry :
I totally want to be Hot Mom. The kind of mom that people say "You had a BABY? But you're so THIN!" about. That's my goal. I'm 5'7", and I want to weigh what I did about two years ago: 125 lbs. I know I can do it. I think this will actually be good motivation. And also, all new clothes! Again! Woo! I don't think they're going to do a sonogram tomorrow (but then again, I didn't think they were going to do one last time), so I'm not really excited about this visit. I am going to ask the doctor if there are any like, support groups in the area for pregnant women, or women who have just had babies. My friends and family are being great, but I think I'd feel a lot better if I knew other people who were going through this too, here locally. I just really need not to stress out about the whole Jeremy situation. It's not worth it - he'll be sorry once the baby's born, that's for sure. He can't ignore the court. This whole situation is such a mess - and this is just the beginning. How depressing. Also, I'm hungry and I have an hour before lunch. That sucks.
from starlight42 :
your poncho's are too cute. I need to go shopping & see if I can find any...I need some new cute summer stuff. I admit, I am happy for Amber & Rob, I'm liking them more after last nights episode. More than Jenna, that's for sure. I just always have this subliminal thing where I root for the underdog- which means those who are kicking ass, I usually start to hate. I voted for Rupert already...I just think he's been one of the best players besides Richard Hatch.
from sweet-cynic :
happy mother's day, babe.
from yellowrosetx :
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! :o)
from alwaysaroura :
Taylor finally hooked up our computer at the new house so I thought I would update. I've been on the computer all morning. Anyways I've been reading some of your more recent entries and I want to tell you that I know how hard this is for you and that I have faith in you. No one on here knows you or knows what an incredible person you are, I do. Don't listen to what they say, there is no reason for them to be rude or negative towards you ever. It's just tacky. I think you are handling things extremely well, I'm in a serious relationship and I would definately be a much bigger baby if this happened to me!! Taylor says that you are going to be the milf of all time and that you will never have problems finding a date!! He'll set you up. I know that this is hard and I can only imagine how awful it is to gain weight when you are normally so thin!! It'll be fine though. Griffin is going to be the most beautiful baby and he'll be ever so sweet! I'm not sure if I'll ever have kids because I'm kind of with you about life being full of rewards with or without them but I'll definately baby sit for you. Oh and call Mike, he's a sweetheart and I am sure that he wants to talk to you too!! Not to mention he's good looking too!! Things will be okay, call me if you ever want to talk!! Oh and you'll be a great mom, regardless of how you feel now or how you feel three weeks from now. In thirteen weeks when that gift from God gets here, your motherly instincts will kick in and you'll be the best mom ever!! Things will work out, you'll always be in my thoughts and prayers. See you Monday if I don't hear from you sooner!
from elliemay23 :
When I wrote in my journal about the comments, that entry was not titled, "Let's all gang up on Ali." I put my opinion in there just as you have been putting your opinion in yours. I never one time said that you should accept hate mail willingly and not one time did I say that you should take advice from every person that gives it to you. I don't believe that we should expect for all of our comments to be ones that we agree with. Maybe you should put it on your page, if you have not already, to please quit leaving you advice and comments about this situation. All of those times that I emailed you I never one time said anything that would warrant that nice little comment that you left at my site. I am fine with you not wanting to be a mom and I am fine with you not liking what I say, and I am even fine with you leaving a not so nice comment for me. What I don't think was called for was you calling me assanine. I have done nothing but give you encouraging words. I am not one of these moms telling you that you are going to hell for the things you say and the way you are acting. I think you are entitled to act what ever way you want to. I don't think that I diserve the name calling. It is your opinion though, isn't it?
from kris-tee :
Yeah, I thought Monica looked bad too. Her boobs looked HUGE on leno, mine are really huge too, but I try to hide them. After Chistina commented on my belly last night, she then said, OMG, your BOOBS! No, my face has not swelled yet, but I do have extra fat in it that I did not have before. Wow, I can't believe I am having a baby sometimes. I am ready for him to be here though. The waiting drives me crazy. I hope I don't get all depressed and get that post partum depression. I really hope I don't. I think dieting right away will help me to not get that. I know how you feel about Jody. I loathe my boss. I can not stand her. When I hear her voice I want to scream. I have never disliked someone so much in my entire life. She makes my job a living hell. I can not stand her. She comes over to me today to say, "Hey, did you get that email that Mark sent you?" Ok, everyone in our department gets all the emails, email is so that you don't have to verbally talk. I felt like saying, of course I fucking got it, why WOUDLENT have I got it? I really can't stand her. I am so irritated with my job. Today she tried to tell my "aunt" who is her boss that I told everyone that the owner of the company paid for her vacation. My "aunt" said something to me and I was like WTF? 1st off, why would I say that and 2nd off, I have known from the beginning that the owner did not pay. I fucking hate my boss so much. She will do anything to piss me off. After that episode I decided to be all buddy buddy with my "aunt" all day just to show her, her little schemes to get me and my aunt in a fight are not going to work. She is such a liar. I hate her. I really hate her. I am waiting for my brother to call me from jail. God, just writing that feels weird. I need to go grocery shopping so bad. I hate going grocery shopping, I hate spending money on food. It's even worse when I have to then COOK it.
from eggsaucted :
My daughter didn't poop or pee immediately, it took a little while. She was put on top of me immediately and then wiped off a bit. and wraped up. I think they diapered her pretty quickly too. She got her first bath around 5am after they took me to my room and Kevin left to go home and sleep.
from kris-tee :
Ok, I have lots of stuff to say, but I have to go home! So, I'll write you more at home tonight. You know me and my wild friday nights on the computer! haha! Brad has to work so I have nothing to do anyway!
from kris-tee :
Up until I was 13, my hair was BLONDE. Very very blonde. Then all the sudden, it started to turn brown. It was werid. So, when I was like 15, I decided I would start to dye it itís original color. So, not many people know that my hair is really brown. All my childhood pictures it is so blonde. It was weird how it just changed color. But now I think I want it to be brown. I want to be skinny though and tan before I dye it. My MIL called today and was saying how much SILís baby looks like Brad and Wayne as babies. I want the baby to look like both of us I guess. Brad and I. There are little things on Brad I have been noticing a lot lately. Like he has kind of a square head in the back, his head is a little flat. I wonder if the babyís head will be like thatÖ You canít tell though hardly at all, but I just look at little things on Brad and wonder if our baby will look like that. Brad and I are not prejudice or anything, but his partner is black. I mean, I just donít see the four of us hanging out. We donít have any black friends, not that we donít like black people, we just donít have any friends that are. I could never be a cop either, Iím too much of a bratt, I would see some girl from high school I did not like and give her a ticket just because I could! Haha! I donít wear nail polish on my nails, only clear or a French manicure. I do on my toes though because it never comes off like it does if I put it on my nails. Frozenangelís Dr did not tell her she had a big baby because she never had a dr, she only had a midwife. She wanted an all natural, home birth. My mom said if she had a dr, they would have taken the baby because of it being so big. They would have taken it before it got so big. My mom also said the thing about the blood cot and I said I would never take my baby out of the hospital if the Dr wanted the baby there either. That is crazy. Yeah, I heard that babies do shit and piss right when they come out. That is gross. I just found that out today. I think you should give Mike a call over the weekend. When is your appt for the glucose? I have to take mine the week of the 22. I think itís so neat we are doing everything at the same time. I am so glad we ďmetĒ. I think Mike does want to talk to you, heís probably just worried about what to say/how to act. I have not gone to the gym ONE time since I have been pregnant. UghhhÖ. Not once. I donítí want to cancel though because I know once Blake comes I will go. I will make myself go. Itís funny, part of your drive to be all skinny and pretty again right away is Ingrid and Carrie and mine is my SIL, Jess! I hate her so much. My MIL just called me and we ended up talking about her. My MIL is still pissed because no one talked to me at their house last Friday. I hate her so much. My FIL told Bradís brother, SILís husband that if that is the way SIL is going to treat me then they should not invite me over anymore! Haha! FIL and MIL and I really get along. They are good people. SIL is such a piece of crap, she does illegal daycare from home and the whole entire month she would say she was in ďlaborĒ and she would call the kids momís that she watches and tell them she could not watch them for the day. She did this repeatedly. She is such a loser. Now, sheís all mad because she does not want to work at all. Whatever, sheís the one that wants to keep popping babies out, she needs to work, thatís life. Sheís 24 and has two kids. UghhhÖ. And sheís ugly, she has no style. Get this, she carries a WINNIE the POOH diaper bag. You will NEVER catch me with ANYTHING with ANY kind of character on it. And you will never catch Blake with any of that shit on either. I donít care if itís a gift, weíll take it back. Brad says Blake is going to be deprived because none of his baby stuff has ďbaby stuffĒ on it, I told him I am NOT about to carry around a bunch of stupid looking shit, itís bad enough I have to carry it around to begin with itís not going to look tacky. Christina just called me she said that she has been telling everyone all day what a beautiful pregnant woman I am, and I told her that was funny because I keep telling everyone how good she looks! She looked like a model last night. I have to show you some pictures. That is funny you are worried about the modesty thing. I think that is the 1st thing so far we donít have in common! I am not too worried about that. I figure I will be in too much pain to care anyway. I just know my SIL is going to be all happy this summer when sheís all skinny and Iím all pregnant, my mom goes, So, sheíll still be ugly. Then we both cracked up laughing because my mom does not say things like that. She goes, ďYou make me say bad thingsĒ! hehe! I want you to see SIL. She is so blah. She is the kind of person that let her self go because she had kids. She thinks sheís jealous now, she needs to just wait till after I have Blake, itís going to be WORSE because I am sure she thinks child birth is going to make me ugly and fat but I am determined to look better then I did before I got pregnant. Haha!
from kris-tee :
I think I will try to dye it dark. Iím nervous!!! I have had to give up a lot of things when Brad and I got married, so Iím already used to it I guess. I had to give up the nails, I also gave up expensive clothes buying all the time. Did you see Monica on Jay Leno last night? Ew, her boobs, WAYY too big. The dress she had on was like a really thin black material and I thought she looked bad. I would have chosen something a little more conceling. You have to look better then me, people canít even TELL your pregnant, everyone can tell I am pregnant, so donít worry about the weight too much! Then again, Iím not really hiding the pregnancy either. But I am sure I have gained more weight then you but thatís because I eat A LOT more then I ever have! Brad usually does not talk about work all that much. Only if something happens and itís bothering him. Like a couple months ago a cop shot a guy and Brad was one of the people bringing the guy back to life and he was really weird-ed out about that. But other then that, he stays quiet about work. His new shift partnerís wife is pregnant, I asked him last night if they talk about her and I being pregnant and he said yeah. I think itís good for him that his partnerís wife is pregnant, at least they can complain to each other. Frozen Angel or mybabylove has a birth story that is not that great, so donít read it. It really freaked me out.
from starlight42 :
I can't believe we have an entry with the same title today! Too bad it wasn't like, "I'm in such a good mood!" Oh well. That cop sounds like a crazy jerk. Geez. Also, I was a little disappointed with Friends last night, I guess you build it up & think it's going to be so great...and then it's just ok. I liked the ending and all...I'll miss the show. But I've got them on dvd anyway.
from eggsaucted :
Hey just to say it, I wasn't screaming in agony as much as I was screaming as a release. It actually felt good to scream.
from kris-tee :
I want August to come fast too. I have never been so looking forward to August as I am now. Yeah, if I was around people who were the same size as me, I would not care, but before pregnancy, I was skinner then Christina, and now she is way skinner then me, but she keeps telling me I will lose it so fast. I hope so. She is also so supportive when I complain she tells me how pretty I am and that I could never be ugly. She did say my tummy looked HUGE last night. I donít know how I feel about that. Well, I am six months and one week pregnantÖ. Cops are dumb like that I guess. Brad is not, he would never let someone go because of the way she looks. Brad NEVER tells anyone heís a cop. Ever. He gets mad if I say he is a cop to people he does not know. He does not try to get any special treatment or try to be some big tough guy either. My dad always tells everyone heís not your typical cop. I guess I want pregnancy to be over so bad and I want Blake here so bad, that I have put the thought of labor in the back of my mind. I really donít want a C-section, but I do want pregnancy to be over. I donít want to scream either. I think if I do though, my mom will probably yell at me! Haha! She gets all mad when I tell her SIL was screaming like a mad women. Your not supposed to scream anyway because itís harder on your body. Not to mention women have been doing this forever, my mom says the pain is not like a ďscreamingĒ pain. After I have the baby, I plan to eat 1000 calories a day and go to the gym everyday, if I canít go to the gym, I will go running. But, I will always be able to go to the gym because my mom lives right by one of the Ballys I go to, and she can watch Blake so I can go to the gym. If Brad gets all pissy about me going all the time, I will have my mom watch Blake, nothing and no one is stopping me from going to the gym. OMG< Brad pissed me off so freaking bad the other day. The other day he was like, I feel fat, I need to go to the gym. Brad has NO body fat on him whatsoever. I was really mad. I told him to shut up. Heís not getting any sympathy from me. Christina just called she said the three guys that I was sitting beside last night at the bar were saying how pretty and cute I looked for being pregnant. That was nice. Then Christina goes, Kristy you are prettier pregnant then 99% of most girls are when they are not pregnant. She made me laugh. Brad REALLY wants me to dye my hair brown. I am scared. What if I look ugly?? Look at my pictures and tell me what you think of my hair being brown. I wish I had some kind of computer program so I could see what it would look like if it was all brown. Christina keeps saying, you can always dye it back! OMG< something crazy just happened at work Iím going to write about it in my diaryÖ.
from eggsaucted :
Sure they've done the airport thing before that's why it was so perfect. It never worked before. Now it worked this time they're together. No more chasing each other to the airport, no more other people getting in the way. This time Julie and Emily weren't there, it was Ross & Rachel as it should be. I liked that Monica and Chandler got twins, it means they'll more than one child, which is awesome for them, since they didn't they could have any and that's the worst feeling in the world when you know you want them and you can't have them. It was just funny and sweet and sad. I loved it!
from kris-tee :
They canít tell 100% about the retarded and downs syndrome thing, but they can get an idea. Thatís what the amnio test is for. Also, they can tell on the sonogram by looking at the babyís neck. If they have not said anything yet, I think you are FINE! I worry about these things all the time too, usually my mom keeps reassuring me that everything is ok. They can tell a lot more then they ever were able to tell. Also, a lot of it has to do with genes and stuff. I am surprised your dr said that there is no way to tell. I guess they canít tell you 100%, but they can give you an idea. Did you get all the blood work and everything? Yeah, cops are a pain in the ass, I should know especially, I live with one! Hehe! Seriously though, I think most cops were big huge dorks in highschool that constantly got picked on. Not Brad though. Heís not a jerk. Only if you are doing something really wrong. I canít imagine him pulling you over like that guy did this morning and giving someone a lecture. So not his style. We were laughing last night though because the other night Christina got pulled over, she was making an illegal U-turn, she had a suspended liceanse (from not paying a ticket), she had had a couple drinks and her front tags were missing. The cop let her friend drive though and told her she was too pretty to be arrested! Haha! See, that is where Brad would have NEVER done that. Brad, would probably arrested her. He also gets mad when ďprettyĒ girls get off all the time. He says he would rather let the ugly ones go! Haha, Jody is probably there because he has a crush on you! I mean, why else would he come to work on a FRIDAY??? Brad had to drag me out of bed this morning!! I am freaked out about the labor thing too. Although, I am not as modest as you. I just want a normal vaginal delivery and I am so scared Iíll have to have a C-section. I hate money so much. I wish Brad and I could just freaking settle on one of our damn lawsuits. We need the money so bad. If we could just pay off our credit card debt, we would be fine! He wants to buy me a mothers day present and I keep telling him not to, itís just not that important right now. I hate not having money. I mean, we are not broke-broke, we just donít have what I like to have. I felt so weird last night. I want Brad to think Iím sexy. I feel like he does not. I want to be skinny and pretty again. Brad and Christina were joking last night about how after I have the baby I will just starve myself and not eat anything for a month so I will be skinny. I will too. I want to be skinny again right away. I feel so big.
from girlygirl83 :
Hey! I'm sorry that everyone is being mean to you. That sucks. I called my sister last night to see what I should do about me not haveing a car, and she was mean too! I got it back today though. Yay! I have a car now! Girl! You're awsome! You leave really supportive notes. I really like that. Thanks! I know, I wanna try and be serious and take my time with the letters. I'm gonan try to at least. I hope that you have a good weekend.
from kris-tee :
Do you think Ingrid will change how she is acting once you tell your parents? I donít. She is going to be so jealous no matter what. She is not trying at all. All in all, you do need to tell your parents, BUT, what is it bothering her so bad for? She needs to leave it alone. Your obviously going to do it on your own time. I mean, I think you should tell them as soon as possible also, but Iím going to sit here and lecture you or keep bringing it up, thatís not going to help anything. And itís a big deal but then again, itís not. Oh, I totally agree about the not agreeing but supporting comment. That is what burns me up here on diaryland. I write for support, not to be looked down upon for the way I feel. Let me tell you, I have read SEVERAL people who are in predicaments and situations that I think are very wrong, but I am not about to lecture them or bring them down because that is not what I view diaryland for. And just because I donít think what you are doing or if you are handling a situation the ďrightĒ way, does not mean Iím going to get in an argument with you about it. When I told my friends, including Christina that I was going to marry Brad, they flipped. They thought I was being rash and stupid. They said things like I was not thinking, I did not know what I was doing. But, they NEVER stopped being my friend, and they said what they had to say, and that was it. They did not repeatedly keep saying it. (well, one friend did, but her and I had a little talk about it, then she shut up) About the stress thing, people really do not understand pregnant women should not be stressed out. Including Brad. He does not even understand. Sometimes, he drives me crazy. Yeah, Jody is definitely the highschool dork that always got picked on. Hehe! Coming to work when you donít have toÖ What a nerd! Ingrid is so stupid, why wouldent she want you to go this weekend? I mean, if she was ďtrying her hardestĒ then she would say, come out and have a good time. I really donít know what to tell you about Ingrid, as for Carrie, in my opionin, I donít think you two are going to be that close after Griffin is here. She is too damn jealous. Itís going to be even worse for Ingrid and Carrie who are so excited to have one up on you, when everything goes perfect for you, they are going to hate it even more. And you will be a good mom. You are too much like me not to be!!!! Haha, think about how much we love ourselves, can you IMAGINE how much were going to love a person coming OUT of us?? Haha!!
from kris-tee :
Oh, the email is perfect. You said great things! It was harsh, but not too harsh and it also had nice things in it too. I think itís great. That is so sweet for everything you did for Leigh. I love the name Jewel too. I think itís so cute! I wish I had a friend like you were to Leigh now! Not even my best friend Christina does any of that! I erased the note you left me so that everyone in the world does not read it. (the note to carrie) Carrie and Ingrid sound so jealous of you they canít stand it. I had two ex-bestfriends like that, and the one girl Holly, I could totally see her being the way Carrie is. Totally. You are a lot prettier then Carrie and Ingrid. I think jealously is a thing with girls and itís so hard for them to overcome. I went to Friendlyís last night, by myself to get Brad and I icecream, ok, Iím PREGNANT, I donít look all that cute, there are these three girls in line in front of me, I kid you not Alexia, they were staring so hard, I was about to say, Um, do you guys want me to turn around for you? I get so sick of people staring all the time, itís so rude. My mom always says they are just looking cause Iím pretty but itís rude. If I see a pretty girl, I will look at her and think, Oh sheís pretty and maybe smile at her, but I would never just stare so rudely at someone. I think Christina and I get along so well because we are not jealous of eachother at all. She is really pretty and so am I. She thinks I am prettier then her, but I donít think so, I think we are pretty on different levels. I think itís so funny when you say stuff like, ďI love being meĒ!! I ALWAYS say stuff like that! My friends have always joked with me about it and always buy me little things on it that says I LOVE ME. I have thongs that say I love me, I have little buttons and pins, I have shirts, itís really funny! Going out this weekend would be good for you!! You will have fun, you should definitely go! Rochelle is weird. Her and Mike were not engaged because they had this whole ďplanĒ to both finish school and stuff. But then she got mad because I was getting married, so the plan was done. The thing about the money, is that NO ONE gives money for your bridal shower. I have been to a TON. Everyone gives money for your wedding. You can not ask for money for your shower gift and your wedding gift. That is so rude and tacky. EwÖ She is so stupid sometimes. She also drives me crazy, she acts like my bf sometimes. Christina is my best friend, Rochelle knows this, but she acts weird sometimes, like she gets jealous. Last night I was talking to Rochelle and I said that Christina was dying to see the sonogram and she was so disappointed they did one the other day, Rochelle was like Oh you talk to Christina? I talk to Christina like ten times a day?? So, Then Rochelle says, so everything is going well between you two? I felt like saying um, I was not aware their was a problem between Christina and I. Christina and I never argue. Christina hurt my feelings on my birthday because she did not call me, but that was the only thing that has ever irritated me about Christina in like the past two years. Rochelle is strange. Christina canít stand Rochelle because Rochelle called Christina the DAY BEFORE my bachelorette party and told her she could not go because she did not have the money. Christina was so mad. Rochelle ended up going, but she only brought like 20 bucks with her. It cracks me up when Rochelle goes on and on about her damn bridal shower and bachlorette party, I mean, for goodness sakes, she almost did not go to mine, like I want to hear about herís every single time I talk to her. I asked Christina if I was that bad around the wedding time, she said no, she said I mostly just talked about how much I loved Brad all the time. I told Christina if she ever acts like that about her wedding. Iím going to tell her and make her stop!
from aidawrites :
Well, for starters I would never behave the way she is behaving with you. But if I were in her shoes I would feel your raw honesty and realize I was hurting you by being so pushy and plain rude. She might not be seeing that right now, she might be trying to hurt you subconsciously. I hate people who enjoy opportunities where we are down just to sneak in little things here and there to hurt us, ultimatly to make themselves feel better about who they are. Thats why I'm very picky with my friends and only surround with people that have high self esteem. She probably has huge insecurities, not unlike your sister.
from kris-tee :
Oh fucking dammit to hell. I am having a hell of a day today. Now, I canít even read your freaking entry. Do me a favor and copy it in to my notes, Iíll read it, then Iíll erase it after I read it. Iím so bored at work. When I was younger I never minded if people borrowed my clothes, but now, I hate it because I NEVER get them back. SO, I rarely let people borrow them. The only friend I really only did that with moved to CA back in September. I miss her a lot. She is my only normal friend. Yeah, I am in a bitter mood now. OMG, since Iím bored, and I feel like writing, my friend Rochelle is such a stupid snobby bitch sometimes. Lately, when I talk to her, I want to hang up on her. Ok, Iím going to tell you this whole story since I have the time. She has been with this guy Mike for like five years, they bought a condo together and they live together well, when Brad proposed after only knowing me for six months, she got all bent out of shape because Mike had still not proposed to her. So, she BROKE up with him. So, then ended up getting back together like two weeks later, she walked in the house and was like, letís get married, he was like, um, Ok. So that night they went and bought a ring. Ew, she went WITH him. How tacky is that?? Itís like, Um marry me, ok lets go pick out my wedding ring. So, ever since then, she is one of those girls that is obsessed with her wedding, I donít even think she cares about being married, itís just the wedding she wants. She is getting married in Florida. She asked me to be in the wedding and obviously, I am not about to leave my newborn home, and I am not about to travel with him when heís a month old, so I told her I could not. She was ok with that. But she is so insane with the wedding. She mailed out HER OWN bridal shower invitations. WHO does that? THEN, she was going to ask for Cash only at her BRIDAL shower. I told her that was extremely wrong to do and you donít get cash for your bridal shower and I told her I really did not think she should do that. Well, she ended up not doing it, but she is going to put cash only please on the wedding invitations. Iím like, your going to get cash anyway, you donít have to do that. So, she did not listen. Then on top of all this she planned her own shower and bachlorette party ON THE SAME DAY. Now, who has time to take their entire Sat and give it to one person. I mean the whole damn thing. Like no one has anything else to do, but give up their entire Sat for her weekend ďfestivitiesĒ as she calls it. My bridal shower was on a Sat and then a couple weeks later was my bachlorette party. She is SO materialistic. Way worse then me. Way way worse. I was just talking to my friend Christina & I told her when Rochelle wanted to put, Cash only on the bridal shower invitations, I should have let her instead of telling her not to! Haha, that would have been funny!
from kris-tee :
I guess the girl that got the abortion just did not know what she would do if she were in that situation. I was using that as an example of how you donít know how youíll act or feel unless you are in those shoes yourself. Thanks about my brother. I hope he changes for the better too. I think I am going to post some pictures of him tonight. I want you to see what he looks like. I just saw a pregnant lady in the grocery store and I thought, well, Iím glad I am not as big as her. I am terrible! Carrie and Ingrid are something else. I mean, seriously, you should tell your parents as soon as possible, but no one should tell you when you have to tell them or give you time limits, itís your business, not theirs. And why would Carrie even suggest you share a room with the baby and live with her? Oh and about the clothes thing, I would be so pissed if one of my friends wanted to borrow my clothes for the summer because I could not fit in to them anymore. I mean, they are still your clothes, you are going to be able to wear them again, itís not like you canít wear them next year. And why would you want to get them all worn out by letting her wear them all summer? I mean, I can understand if she wanted to borrow an outfit or something, but to be like, Oh, I want to go through your clothes?? I canít wait to go home. I want to go home so bad. I canít believe my brother is in jail right now. Ever since I got off the phone with my mom I have felt so blah. I never did vacuum the house last night. I asked Brad to do it and he said ok, but weíll see if he does it. I got a disposable camera developed last night, I looked so skinny and pretty in it. The pictures I mean. I told Brad I am saving them. I donít blame you for wanting to see/talk to Mike. Itís kind of hard not to when you have his baby in your tummy, you know? Blake has been going crazy today. He has not stopped moving since I woke up.
from kris-tee :
no, its not about Brad
from kris-tee :
I touched the topic in my entry for today.
from theshakedown :
who did your layout?? i love it!
from kris-tee :
I have something to tell you, but I have to tell you through email dammit! OMG< I'm dying. I have to wait till I get home cause I can't access my email on here....
from aidawrites :
I absolutely hate filing with a passion. I have accumulated so much paper work this year and have not filed a bit of it. It's just something about going to the file cabinets and looking for files, it's completely depressing. So dont feel bad, i dont file either, im sure one day i'll have to, but it wont be today or tomorrow.
from eggsaucted :
For what it's worth I only had two cervical exams and it was the last two doctors appointments so 39 weeks and 40 weeks. They just check to see if you've dilated and stuff and at my last appointment they did a little more. At the hospital they barely checked my cervix and then well I had the baby. I would compare a cervix check to a papsmear.
from kissssy :
The cervical exams started at about 32 weeks for me. They're what you'll expect every 5 minutes when you're in the hospital giving birth. It's just a simple glove on hand, lube on glove, fingers deep inside you pushing against your cervix to feel for dilation and effacement. It actually hurts a little to me, though some women barely feel it at all. I'd rather a papsmear than a cervical exam, but I get them weekly now. And, had about 12 of them when I was in preterm labor. Once you're in your last half of the last trimester, you have no privacy or modesty anymore LOL. There aren't any other horrible things I can actually think of. Except contractions, which feel differently for every woman. Mine feel... well anywhere from just back pains and pressure on the tummy to a sudden sharpness in my upper abdomen that makes me wriggle and cry. Lol, I imagine I'm in the easy stage. I'm terrified of phase 2 (the actual delivery). But, phase 1 has lasted about 18 hours for me now... 25 hours for me 2 weeks ago. Then again, some women have only slight back pain, push a little and suddenly a baby appears! God, I wish I were that lucky!
from starlight42 :
in your template near the top, maybe 1/4 of the way down you should have a spot that says font size= whatever. Just keep playing with it till you get it how you want it...hopefully that will fix it. It's just that it's so small I can barely read it now, and my computer screen is pretty big. I've seen other designs with such tiny type, so I guess people like it sometimes, but I don't know how they can read it. Does it show this small on everyones screen? Hmm
from tanprincess :
i know this is easier said then done..but who gives a damn what other people think? live your life for you. i have a hard time trying not to worry what others think/say but i know that at the end of the day i'm the only one that i have to make happy and i'm the only one that can live my life. i know all about not wanting to "swallow your pride" but sometimes you just have to do it. we all want to be proud and independent and not want people to think we are weak or vulnerable. but opening up to someone does not make you weak, by any means! just try to open up to mike and see what happens. you dont have to tell him eveything and let him know everything that you are feeling but give him a little rope and see if he reaches for it and is willing to listen and if so then talk to him. maybe just give him a call and see if he wants to come over and start there. it's 2004...its ok for a girl to call a guy and initiate a get together or whatever. you can do it alexia!!!
from dandlioneyes :
Griffin is a really sweet name! Very cool. : )
from kris-tee :
My parents begged me to go to the ocean with them. Seriously, they did. My parents are so much fun though. Brad always says I am the happiest when I am with my parents. My mom is so funny and my dad is so sweet to me. I can ask him to do anything for me and he will. At first, I told my parents they were nutty and there was no way I was gong to the Ocean the 1st week of August. Then they figured they could change their time share to the last week of July, so I said I would think about it. My mom really wanted me to go though, she kept saying, come one, Iíll rub your feet and weíll take you out to eat everyday, and weíll get you a massage, and you can do whatever you want the entire week. So, then I got to thinking, heck why not?? What am I going to do around here anyway?? So, Brad and I are going to go. Plus, itís only about two and a half hours away from the hospital, so if I start to have contractions, Iíll just have Brad drive me home. Next year we are going to the Keys I think, the Florida keys. That will be nice. My parents can watch Blake and Brad and I can go out at night!
from soverycherry :
Ha, totally. I remember that show - we should get our own sitcom or something, for sure. A Kate & Allie for the new generation. It'd be a surefire hit!
from kris-tee :
In my last entry I just wrote the word husband and it sounds so weird to me sometimes. I am still getting used to being someoneís wife and I was not ready to be someoneís mom yet. I do think it happened for a reason though. I also worry if I am cut out for motherhood. I mean, I am very in to myself. I am not going to lie and say that I am not because I am. I am very in to the way I look and stuff. I worry about how I am going to be with a baby all the time. My mom is usually the one that assures me I am going to be fine. But, you know, a lot of times, I feel like I have the most of the job too. Even though I am married and I do live with Brad, who is the child going to call when heís sick and throwing up in the middle of the night? ME. Who is going to get up the majority of the time with him when heís crying? ME. Who is going to make sure he goes to all of his Drís appts and gets all of his shots and makes sure he has what he needs for school and all that stuff? That will be me too. The women always gets the most of the work when it comes to a child. Your situation is worse then mine because I can always kick Bradís ass out of the bed and on to the floor when I donít feel like getting up and Iím about to lose it. Oh and Iím sure I will. I keep telling him we are going to take turns waking up with Blake and I am sure we will but I think after the new-ness of the situation, it will all be on me. With Bradís hours, when he is sleeping, he needs his sleep. If he was a business man, I would take no mercy on him, but I HATE when he works on no sleep or little sleep. Itís already dangerous enough to be chasing someone at 120 mph, but to do it on no sleep is even worse.
from kris-tee :
I can not believe you get hate mail. What is wrong with people?? Itís not like your writing on there that you are drinking and doing drugs. So your not happy with your situation, lets seeÖ Key words here is YOUR not happy with YOUR situation. That does not mean that anyone here on diaryland or in your real life can say or do anything to make YOU feel differently. I just love how people try to tell you how you should feel. It makes me so mad. I feel like writing them a freaking email. Like you really need to hear what they have to say. If they donít agree then they need to just leave you alone. You obviously do not need to hear anything negative at this point. People have some nerve. Anyway, about a year and a half ago, I went to the Drís and I had my pap smear done. The results came back showing that I had a high percentage rate for cervical cancer. What they do next is put dye on your cervix to see what areas are bad. They then biopsy those areas. I think I had like three spots. The areas came back bad. So, what they do then is cut off the edge of your cervix because that is the part that always gets the cancer. I have not had any problems since (knocking on wood) so hopefully, it wonít come back. But because I had the leep procedure so recent, they wanted to make sure that my cervix was doing what it is supposed to do. It is, so that is a good thing! On to the Mike thing: Itís a shame in this day and age that all the father has to do is acknowledge the fact that he has a child and we all hail him. What the fuck is up with that? Itís like, Wow, that Mike is such a good guy because he is acknowledging the fact that he is going to have a kid. Big deal. What else has he done? He should be calling at least three times a week. He needs to be way more involved here. I mean, itís not like he has offered you anything. He does not even call when he says heís going to. Haha, that is a good description of Frankie. She is totally one of those girls that wants to be weird because she canít be normal. Robin totally needs to either calm down or stop drinking so much. She acts like an idiot when she gets drunk. I mean, screaming crying fighting every single time, itís a little insane. I mean, I have done my share of acting like an idiot, but not on a regular basis. I do like Cam, but she does need to grow up a little bit. I also think she needs to stop fooling herself and those around her, she likes Brad, she needs to get over it. I wish they would just have sex already! Haha! You know, everyone keeps saying Randy is so hot, for some reason he just does not do anything for meÖBrad is ok looking but his personality is just too vulgar and gross. OMG, and his gf back home Andrea is an IDIOT. Did you see the one where she comes there and basicly tells him that she does not mind so much if he sleeps with girls, she just does not want him to have any kind of emotionally attachment. What is wrong with her? Who says that? WHO? She has to be the dumbest girl ever. No, Iím sure there are dumber ones, but sheís high on my list.
from dandlioneyes :
hey there - just a short note again. from all the notes i see you are leaving it sounds like things are rough for you right now. just remember you are in control of your life, and that you can get through this. do you have a name picked out for the little one yet??
from soverycherry :
I really, really wish we lived in the same place. It would make life so much better and easier, just so have somebody here to commiserate with, you know? Especially since we sort of came from the same place before this all happened. I am so glad that I have "met" you, albeit through here, because I know I can talk to you if nobody else and you'll get it. I don't have that with anybody else, in real life. I think I'll just plan on winning the lottery, and then I'll split my winnings with you, okay? We won't have to worry about anything again. We can get nannies and personal trainers and nutrionists - yep, that's my plan. To be a millionaire. Sure, why not?
from theshakedown :
if you are looking for a new, custom, free template, i'd be happy to make one for you, just email me and tell what you want - [email protected]
from soverycherry :
I agree - just because we're not happy about this does not mean that we are going to take it out on our unborn children. I'm sure that once my baby gets here, I will love him or her. But! Until then... screw it! This sucks! Every single aspect of it sucks! Why are we supposed to be all happy and shit? The boys who supposedly share half the responsibility (yeah, right) are out doing whatever they want, whenever they want to. How is that fair? They don't have to deal with the nausea and the fatigue and the headaches and the drs bills and buying all the stuff for the baby and the feedings and so on and so forth, WE DO. I will bitch and complain about this until the day it's over with, I don't care. I know some might say that it's my fault that I'm in this predicament in the first place, and you wouldn't see me arguing with that. It is my fault. But you know what? I'm not going to sit back and be all Mary Sunshine about it, no fucking way. This is the last thing I ever wanted for myself, and I don't think that just because I'm going to have a baby, I should be happy about it. I'm not, and I'm not going to be. But! I would never ever take it out on my child. Ever. As you said, I'm not mad at him/her, I'm mad at myself. The child is the only innocent in this situation. Bah. I'm fed up.
from soverycherry :
Everybody's situation is different, and I don't feel like it's right for somebody to look at your situation, or my situation, and judge. I've learned an important lesson in all this (only second to ALWAYS USE CONDOMS), and that would be never to judge people. It's not right. I know people are constantly judging me, but that's their problem. I can't help the mess I'm in now and I can't do anything to change it, so I really don't see the point of other people butting in and telling me how to run my life. I'm not happy about this either, but should I be? I never wanted kids, ever, and now here I am. I know I've said this before, but never in my life have I had so many contradicting feelings all at once. I feel like I've turned into a complete schizo. Nobody should negate your feelings because that's "not how it's supposed to be." People handle things differently. With everything, not just pregnancy. Other people need to butt out, period. And also, it smells like Cadbury mini-eggs in here and it's driving me nuts.
from soverycherry :
I was just coming to post just what kris-tee said in the first couple of lines of her note. Your sister has absolutely no business telling anybody if you don't want them to know. If she's deriving pleasure from your pain, she's pathetic. I would say no offense, because I know she's your sister and everything, but I know you don't like her anyway. I don't know what I would do if my sister behaved in that way! And I can tell you for damn sure that I would never act that way towards my sister, either. What is her problem? I still can't get over J-No thinking ONCE AGAIN that everything is all about him. He turned my pregnancy into his issue! What a moron. I also found out that he's not moving to NY like he was supposed to. That sucks. The last thing I said was, "So, just so you know, if you see me out somewhere and I look really fat, just remember I have a valid reason for that." He laughed. He also told me that he was appalled at Jeremy's behavior and that I totally didn't deserve the way I was being treated. Or not being treated, rather. At least he could say that much. Boys suck.
from kris-tee :
If I had your sister I would die. What the fuck is her problem? In one way, I know she just wants to get it out, but itís not her business to do so. She just wants to tell so she can have ďone up on youĒ. She really is a bitch from everything you have said. Ok, they went to Greece, and while they were there, they went out and all got drunk. Really drunk. Cam and Brad made out in the hot tub and Robin could not get in to the room because Cam had the key. So, Robin was just standing outback because she did not want to interrupt them I guess. Well, Cam and Brad get out of the hot tub and Robin asks Cam for the key. Well, Cam lost the key. Robin is like, youíre a bitch. Then goes off and starts saying Cam is a bitch and needs to grow the fuck up and all kinds of mean things. She was like, Bitch, I got arrested for you. Really hurtful things. Cam in the bathroom crying. Then Robin comes up and apologizes. I felt like shaking Cam and saying donít take her apology. Sheís physco. Robin has been in a fight with every person in the house. THEN, they show next weeks episode and she gets in a HUGE fight with that guy Mike out in a club and she is in the street crying, Please donít leave me. The girl has issues. Oh and Frankie, she really pissed me off. You should have seen her all buddy buddy with Robin. She is so fake and phony. She was pissed at everyone the whole entire trip, not talking to anyone, then all the sudden, when Cam and Robin get in a fight, she is all in it. Then the next day, she hears Randy and Brad talking about how fake she is and that night she goes up them and is like, if you want to say anyting about me say it to my face. And Randy just goes off. It was classic. Im going to update about the Drís appt in a minute.
from kris-tee :
ALEXIA!!! Deep breath! Come on, weíll do it together! *breathe* Ok, now, I just want to take a minute to remind you, that you have a baby, a human life growing inside you, you should not be worried about what you look likeÖÖÖÖ..hahahahhaÖ just kidding. I just had to say that though because I know you hate when people say that! I feel your pain. I feel like a huge blimp today. See, my problem is my tummy looks small to me, everything else looks huge! Ew, and I would not wear anything but cute little sandals through this pregnancy. I would not wear orthopedic shoes either! Seriously, people do think, oh your pregnant, just forget about you. And thatís not a good way to think. You should still feel good and confident about yourself. My SIL is very much like that. She just never really messed with herself, she let her looks go to hell because she was so in to her kids. That will not be me. That is not my personality. My mom never did that, she never lived that way, and neither will I. Oh about SIL and I being friends. I always had it in my head that we would be really close and do everything together. When I got pregnant, she was excited! So was I! But her jealousy and insecurities always end up ruining it. I canít be her friend again because then I would just be a hyporcrite. She does not deserve my kindness or friendship anymore. I donít think her and I will ever be as close as we were again. I do not trust her as far as I could push her. I think she is evil deep down inside. She will never ever watch Blake. Ever. I will make sure of that. She is a strange girl. She is not happy with her life, so she causes problems for me to make herself feel better. She hates that Brad and I are so happy. I wish I had some pregnant friends around here, but when it comes to SIL, none are better then one. I donít even have friends with kids, but oh well. Maybe Iíll meet some in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood is full of kids, maybe some of them have some young moms! SIL and I are just too different. She is the complete opposite of me in every way. She does not like to drink, she does not care about her house or her clothes. (not like I do anyway) We decorate different. We think different. Her friends are white trash dorks. My friends are pretty, sweet girls. She hates my MIL, I love my MIL. She treats her husband like a dog, I treat brad like my equal. The list can go on and on. Itís a shame though, I was always hoping her and I could be friends. It will never happen after all this. I donít blame you for being resentful towards Mike, I would too. But listen to me, get child support from him. Maybe your mom will talk some sense in to you after you tell her. I am not being mean to Mike or anything, but itís his child too and he should be financially responsible as well. Donít be one of those women that brags that she does not take a dime from the father. If he like hit you or was abusive, then ok, donít take the money and you can brag about it. But if there is no real reason, then get the money. Do it for the child. I hate when women go on and on about how they pay for everything for their child and the father contributes nothing and the women want it that way. Unless he is some criminal, you should want your child to have the best of everything. The money is not ďyourĒ money itís the childís money. No women should take that from her child because of her pride. Ok, Iím stepping off my soapbox now. I am going to old navy to see if I can find the swimsuit you bought. Oh and I agree about the belly hanging out thing. That is so gross and just not classy.
from eggsaucted :
I like the show too, but last night was annoying. Apparently dan asked for joint custody of Lucas when he and Deb first moved back to Tree Hill and she never told Lucas or Keith and now they're both mad. Although Lucas kinda decided she did what was best for her.
from tanprincess :
i dont know what to tell you about your sister 1. because i dont know her and 2. because i do not have a sister. but you are right, it is not her place to tell them, you are an adult and she needs to let you do what you need to do. but your parents do need to know....soon. i honestly think it would be so much easier for them to hear it from you then to hear it from someone else or to have to ask you about it. they are your parents, they will be ok and you know that they are not going to stop loving you. just hold your breathe close your eyes and tell them. once you get it out you will feel so much relief. please call your doctor soon and find out about the iron and everything and esp. about the therapy. you cant keep doing this all alone, there is nothing wrong w/ asking for help. you deserve to be happy no matter what.
from eggsaucted :
Well hey on the bright side if she does tell your parents you won't have to and you will no longer be stressing on how to tell them. It sucks that she would do that though. I was really only anemic one time that they tested me, but they made me take iron and I did pretty good. I was much better at modifiying my diet to include more iron rich food. Kevin actually would tease me about it, for a few weeks, I ate nothing unless it was rich in iron. But hey it worked and I didn't have to take the pills.
from eggsaucted :
Oh and One Tree Hill was disappointing last night you didn't miss much. Lucas got mad at his mom. Nathan and Lucas are friends now. Haley caught Nathan looking at porn and got all pissed. Brooke and Peyton made up and went shopping and took Jenny the baby with them and crazy Nikki walked up and took Jenny out of her stroller and they flipped out. Whitey has to have surgery and miss a game so Dan is going to coach and of course he treats lucas and Nathan like crap. Keith gets mad at Lucas's mom too. Deb signs her divorce papers. Jake leaves town with Jenny to get away from Nikki and actually takes Peytons dad's boat to Savannah to go stay with a cousin. Then at the end Lucas announces to Karen & Keith that he wants to go with Keith when he moves. Blah Blah Blah....nothing interesting.
from eggsaucted :
My cousin did vaginal first time, c-section second time not by choice but she really prefered the c-section. I think she's crazy! I would always prefer not to be cut open. Some people plan c-sections in order to hopefully prevent scratch marks in the last few weeks of surgery, because the scarring is supposed to be minimal. No way. I ended up with some light stretch marks, but no one can see any other marks on me from the baby. I was really scared about the whole process. Would could happen. What might happen. The pain. The mess. I made it into a much bigger deal in my head than it was in actuality. It is not a comfortable feeling and it especially wasn't since I had no meds at all. But that discomfort doesn't last long. I was sore afterwards. It didn't help that I twisted a muscle in my back while I was in the hospital because of the way I got out of bed while I was holding her. Then a week after I had her, I feel while going down a flight of stairs while carrying her. I grabbed her tight and she didn't even notice, but I fell on my ass right on the edge of a step and it was sore as hell and bruised. There's some really serious stuff that's like the heaviest period you've ever had in your life that happens for a while, but it lightens. That lasts up to 6 weeks sometimes, but by the end it's just a darkish discharge. I did have stitches and while it hurt to have them and they were slightly tender for a few days, it didn't hurt to pee or anything, I was just very tentative. Baths and showers helped a lot. I didn't see any serious blood during the birth process it all lands on the pads they put under you and they remove those pretty quickly as they get messy and the people who really see all that are the nurse and midwife. I didn't see the afterbirth at all and that didn't hurt, it was just one more push nothing like pushing out a baby and they sort of pulled it out. Like I said I did have stitches, but I didn't have an epistomy, my midwife is one of the believers that epistomies cut more than needs to be cut sometimes and tears are faster to heal than cuts. Crowning is when the baby's head actually starts to come and it does hurt, the head and sholders are the part that stretch you and most, the rest just sort of slides out once you get the head and shoulders out. She was immediately put on top of me where they cleaned her off and did her apgar test and gave her some shots and stuff and then I cut the cord. Other than to weigh her she stayed with me all the time. If fact the way my hospital did it, she roomed in with me, so the only time she wasn't with me was when she got baths or tests. Oh and your water breaking. I was at home, I was watching tv (a rerun of friends actually) and it just happened. I got pretty wet, but it wasn't so nasty. They say if you standing up it's less messy and usually not like a big wosh more like a trickle and some people never have their water break at all it has to be broken for them at the hospital. But like I said everyone experiences everything differently. If you want to know more, just ask.
from manda-d :
I would definitely go for the suppository then, cause I can't even go anywhere other than at home! I think you should be OK if you do that. I can't remember any gas at all, lol! I do not pass gas in front of people, EVER. I would flip if I did. They let me chose between the cath and the bedpan. But, I don't think everyone gets cathed? I'm not sure. It's like a bag that hangs down on the side of the bed, almost under the bed. It's pretty discreet, but I guess someone could see it if they were looking for it. Crowning is when the head is coming out. Once he crowns, it's smooth sailing. The rest of him will slip right out. It didn't hurt when they pushed the afterbirth out. It looks like a giant blood clot. When you are giving birth they like take off the bottom of the bed and put this big container under you to catch the blood and fluid. They put the after birth in there (or they did with me) so I just got a glimpse of it. I don't remember there being a lot of blood at all. You can stay covered up the entire time or at least I did from the pelvic region up, even while your pushing. My stomach wasn't exposed at all. There was one nurse the duration of my labor and delivery. Until the baby is about to come and then there will be your nurse, the doctor, and the baby's nurse (maybe 2). And then whoever you want in there... I had my mom and the dad with John, just the dad with Kaylee. You could totally ask Mike to stay up by your head, and that way he can just see a little bit of what's going on. He won't be able to actually see you stretching and what not. I never fully dialated with John, so they cut me bad and I had to have stitches. I didn't feel normal for about a week. Hopefully you won't have that problem. With Kaylee, I didn't have any tears or anything, no stiches. I was honestly up 5 minutes after she was born and felt fine. My water broke with John, but I was at home. It WAS quite a mess. I was so young and stupid though, I didn't know that it leaked after the initial gush. SO I just changed underwear and was a mess again by the time I got to the doctor's office. But I wouldn't say weeks... if you are worried, maybe days before, but not weeks.
from kris-tee :
Your talking to the queen of forgetting to take the prenatals. I always forget to take them. Ok, I like the letter to Michelle, just be careful though. I have two ex-bestfriends that ment the world to me. Holly and Brooke again and again I wrote them letters like that and they wrote me letters like that and they would always say that they changed. And they never did. They were physco. They are still friends with each other and both of them tried to be my friend again, but I said no way. Sometimes it so hard. I was reading all these cards and letters that we used to write to eachother. I donít think I have ever been so close to someone like I was these two, then I contemplate on calling them then I re-think it and donít call. I know I can never let them back in to my life. I think the realization for me and them was me not inviting them to my wedding. Holly still calls me like once a month or so, but I really donít like to talk to her. Michelle is probably much better then these two though, I definitely think you should send her the email. Itís worth a shot! Someone with a baby would be good for you to talk to right now besides internet people. Someone real that you know, know. Ya know?? Ok, I have to get to my Drís appt! Iíll email you later!!!!
from dandlioneyes :
its pretty awesome living over here this year! yes, jšger is from germany, plus there's really awesome chocolate, too. ;) anyways, thanks for leaving the note! hope you are doing well.
from eggsaucted :
Kevin was fantastic and he said I was better than Karen was at any of her deliveries that was there for, although I screamed louder, but that was my release, I screamed at the top of my lungs! Kevin still laughs at me for doing that but seriously it helped. I have no problem answering questions. I'll be honest but I won't try to scare you. I know Kris-Tee is afraid of having a c-section and so was I frankly. I told Kevin and he talked me down off the ledge by pointing out if I had to have one it would be because it was necessary for me and the baby, but that there was no point in freaking over it because there was no real way to know ahead of time and if had to happen we would deal with it then. It totally freaked me out when I read that if you have a c-section you're generally awake for it, although draped so you can't see the icky part, but that you can have someone with you. I totally thought no one would want to do that and Kevin said he didn't care, he wanted to be there with me no matter what and even if standing in a room while they cut someone open sounded horrible, he'd be there with me and hold my hand and then we'd get to see our baby together. My pregnancy was easy and so was my delivery. But none of that means anything, I guess, it just seems like no one ever tells stories about easy birth and pregnancy and that really pissed me off.
from kris-tee :
I emailed you last night. I wish I could check my email through here. Oh well. My freaking head hurts. But I canít wait to go to the Dr. I feel like I have not been in so long! I am in a bitchy mood today. Or is it everyday? I just wrote you a bitchy note about something but I am going to save it for email. I wrote it all out, then I erased it. Something I read pissed me off, but I'm in a mood today, so I'll share that with you later! I am scared Iím going to have to have a C section. I really donít want one of those. But oh well, I guess I will have no control over the situation if it happens. I feel so pale today. Migraines make me pale. Brad and I would be so grossed out if I shit myself. I will definitely do whatever I have to do so that does not happen.
from eggsaucted :
Frankly that part wouldn't scare me and didn't scare me it was more the idea of pushing a baby out of me that had me saying there was no way I would do it. I know you asked Manda-d a bunch of questions, I can answer them too if you'd like. One thing you'll hear is lots of scary stories. No point in freaking out, somethings are worse than others. That baby has to come out and process of getting out may or may not take a long time and may or may not involve lots of things. It's good to know what to expect, but it helps no one to freak out about what may happen. Also keep in mind every single experience is different. Our bodies all react differently. Different hospitals have different practises. The scary stories freaked the heck out of me. Not one person I ever met told me a story that was anything like my own experience and that's part of why I like to share it. Kevin had been at 4 birth before we had our daughter and he was a great resource for me, because he knew me so well he knew how to be honest with me and tell me the answers to my questions and then how to calm me down when I freaked about the answer.
from eggsaucted :
That should have been live birth I'm doing too many things while I'm typing notes
from eggsaucted :
Oh and I saw the love birth movie that they show in child birth class in high school and then 3 times in various classes in college, I knew exactly how fun it was and I still got pregnant, so I don't think it would do the trick to stop unplanned pregnancies.
from eggsaucted :
You won't really be totally exposed until you really get down to business. Then it's sort of necessary, because they need access to help get the baby out. I had no epidural no pain medication and even with a first child my labor was two hours. The serious part lasted about 15 minutes and I only pushed three times to get her out. It hurt, but it was not unbearable. I also had to deliver the placenta and that was nothing compared to delivering an 8lb baby, although I was pretty wiped out by then. Even a fast labor is tiring. You are not going to want to be alone, it is really important to have someone holding your hand, and by then you won't be thinking about the lower half of your body being exposed. I didn't actually know Kevin had seen any part of the delivery I was totally distracted. But frankly they told me to stop pushing at one point because her highness' head was out and she had one arm raised and her hand was up by her head waving at the world. They wanted to make sure we didn't break her collar bone and I couldn't stop pushing and delivered her against instructions, so she landed on table (which is like a padded bed.) instead of being caught by the midwife who had turned to get the thing to clean out the babies nose. So Kevin was the first person to see her, then the midwife & Nurse, and then me since she was placed on top of me to get cleaned off and tested and I got to cut the cord.
from girlygirl83 :
Thanks! I hopw that your doing good! email me sometime! I miss talking to you!
from manda-d :
The 1st child usually takes the longest to deliver from what I understand. But, 23.5 hours is longer than most I know who have given birth. It is totally tolerable if you let them medicate you, which I did. I highly recommend an epidural. The cath didn't hurt, I could barely even feel it. The only time you are exposed during labor is when they are checking your cervix. You can ask Mike to leave the room when they do that. Oh, and when you are pushing. But really, I doubt you will care at that point. I am extremely modest as well and I didn't care. The worst part is right as the baby is crowning. It hurts like hell and the pressure is ridiculous. But it only lasts a few minutes, really. I didn't even notice the afterbirth with either of my kids. They kinda pushed on my stomach to get it out and that was that. I have NO idea about the suppository, I didn't get one. With my 1st, there was poo and I was horrified. Though, no one seemed to be nearly as freaked out about it as I was. None with my second (thank God). I would bet the suppository would make it where you wouldn't poop though. I don't know about that one? You're gonna be fine, I promise. It's not nearly as bad as you think. You can ask my a thousand questions, I don't mind. I was the same way. I asked a zillion questions.
from eggsaucted :
Ok...so there is some gross stuff involved in the labor part, it's totally unavoidable. But, I didn't see any of it. They offered me a mirror and I told them they were nuts, I'd see the baby when it was out, no glimpses before then. Besides I'm 90% sure I had my eyes closed for a good portion of the delivery. If you do shit accidently, no guarantees, they wipe it away quickly, I don't actually know if I did and I'm not asking anyone. That was part of why I wanted no one other than Kevin there with me. He was fantastic, he said he wasn't going to watch until the baby was coming out and I know he did, but he was also concentrating on me and frankly I wasn't thinking so much about how it looked at that point as I was about getting the 8lb baby out of me. Up until that day, I didn't have hemmroids, I didn't have weird bleeding. Some do some don't and just because some do doesn't mean you will. Seems like you've had a pretty easy pregnancy up to now and if it's like mine that will remain true. My midwife was great to, she totally understood me and didn't make me do anything I didn't want, like going to child birth class. I had already seen the movie 4 times, I read enough about child birth and breathing and relaxing and everyone I know said they forgot everything they learned when the time came to have the baby anyway. The nurses and midwife and doctor or whoever will help you with anything you need when you're there. My midwife was on vacation for one of my appoints last spring and I had to see someone else and she was a total bitch who yelled at me for not going to a class. I yelled back and told her to butt out, Kim and I had discussed and she agreed with my decision not to go.
from aidawrites :
I thought the jeans looked comfortable, im sure you look cute in whatever you wear. I'm going to absolutely loose my mind if Marc doesnt call me today, I have butterflies in my stomach from it, i knew I shouldnt have gotten this hopeful. I never call guys, its def. a rule i live by, but sometimes in rare ocassions i break down, i just hope he calls tonight so i wont have to break down. *sigh*
from kris-tee :
Hahahahhahahaha!! OMG< that entry was really funny about the panel! I HATE the panel. And you ARE SO RIGHT< they make it too low! I JUST said that to my mom on SAT! I was like, why do they need to start the panel so low, itís really not necessary! They really could make it higher and the jeans would be just as comfy. Oh and about the bodily functions thing, I am the same way! Brad and I do not burp or fart or anything in front of each other, I think that is so gross. There are some things that are just not ment to be shared. Oh and I am so horrified to shit myself in front of Brad, my mom and my MIL, my mom said itís a natural thing, but I think that it is nasty. I really really donít want to do that. My friend told me to eat light around delivery days. My head hurts so bad. You are so lucky you never had bad headaches or throwing up. Itís terrible. My head hurts so bad.
from dandlioneyes :
hey! just wanted to leave you a short note, since i noticed you leaving notes for my friend eggsaucted (we went to high-school together). hope you are doing well and having a good day! later gater!
from eggsaucted :
Her highness is totally my responsbility and even though she's on Kevin's insurance so I guess he is sort of providing for her, I get to claim her 100% on my taxes. In the big picture, his providing for her doesn't cost him a dime and I am actually spending money on her. Not that he wouldn't give me what he could, but I won't take anything from him. He doesn't always like that about me, but I just really don't want me or my child to be a burden or to take anything away from his other children. He's working his butt off, to keep them fed, to keep a roof over their heads and to keep them in catholic elementary school. Karen, the raving lunatic, is sitting back and not doing crap. I'm working full time, I don't need the support his other kids need. It's a fight from time to time with him, but if he handed me money I wouldn't take it and he knows that. Kevin has talked about getting a vasectomy. I'm not crazy about the idea. Karen isn't either, imagine we agree on something. She still has high hopes of reconciling her marriage and wants more kids, so she has more excuses to sit around on her fat ass and do nothing. I'm not sure if I want more, but I'm not ready to say I'm done having kids. Kevin's 34, I'm only 26. He doesn't like that answer either. But I told him I wouldn't have a final decision on the kid thing, until I couldn't have anymore, right now I'm happy with what I have. Yep 6 kids, although one is adopted, is a lot, but only one of them is mine and I only want him to be the father of my children and I'm not real keen on saying yep, we're done go ahead and snip snip. He hates doctors as much as I do, so I know he won't do it right away.
from eggsaucted :
It's totally your choice. I personally like Kevin's last name better than mine. I don't know if he'll be around forever, well I'm actually sure he'll be in my daughters life forever, I don't know about him and I. But we all wanted it that way and it works. For insurance purposes, she used to be on mine, now she's on his. It doesn't matter who's last name, as long as you say it's your child. In fact she still is on my dental insurance and they could care less that our last names don't match. Hang in there. Hope the weekend goes well. I told you about my mom and her radar, it is very possible your mother knows something is up. You really will feel better once you tell her.
from beautyx3 :
I have this girl friend who unexpectently got pregnant a year ago. She was kind of in the same boat you are, she didnít like kids, she never even held a baby before, she was a big partier, she didnít want to be tied down with a kid and she was horrified of getting fat, she was a model, and super pretty and skinny, she absolutely did not want to get fat so she did not want this baby, it would ruin her career. But now itís a year later, she did get fatter, she still is trying to work off the baby weight, she has a little ďmommy pouchĒ still that wonít go away, but despite that she says that she would do it all again for her little girl and she canít imagine life without her now. She loves being a mom, something she never thought she would. And she still goes out and has fun and gets to live her life. So you say you donít like kids, but maybe itíll be different once you have your own. Oh and I think that the baby shouldnít have Mikeís last name, he should have yours, because down the road you never know if Mike is truly going to stick around or not. It probably will never happen, but you never know.
from kris-tee :
Siblings amaze me. Sometimes, I look at my brother and think... How are we related??? I have a headache, I think I am going to leave here at 2. I just want to go home and lay down. I donít know where I am going to advertise. Once I get my liceance, they will recommend me to people. No, I donít know anyone with kids, and I donít know anyone that is interested. Yeah, I know what you mean about telling the other ex you are doing W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L. My one ex, that I used to live with, Rick, I LOVED telling him I was getting married. It was the best feeling ever. I hate his guts, I have NO fond memories of him and I except the fact that I was sick in the head for even dating his dumb ass. I saw all of his friends out about three months ago and it was so fab to tell them all I was pregnant! Haha! I rubbed it in real good with him. But that is because when I moved out, he already had another girl staying the night with him like TWO weeks later. AND, my stuff was not even out! She also, had her VIBRATOR, (ew, she was probably such a nasty girl) on my COSMO magazine with a pic of my brother laying RIGHT there, so I KNOW she knew it was mineÖ SoooooooÖ I got pissed off and took his tooth brush and her tooth brush and cleaned the toilets with them. It was great fun! He had THREE toilets too, so I got them good! I never did tell him either! I am so evil if I am crossed! I made it clear to Brad if he ever hurts me, I will get him back twice as bad. I will too! I know two wrongs donít make a right, but in love, it just makes you feel SO much better! Oh! I love the limited too! I made a deal with Brad though, because he paid off so much of my debt that I had before when I was single, I would not get anymore credit cards. So, I donít have one and I donít ever use one. This works well for us. I am not good with them. Three am is very late for a pregnant women! Brad always gets mad cause I get sleepy at like 12 now. Oh and I wanted to say,