DiaryLand members area

Five years ago, today, we woke up at your parents' house, came downstairs, and were shocked to find that they were home, & not in Rhode Island, as planned. Then we found out why... in three different languages.

from his-holiness :

You know just how to make me smile. Thank you. I have something I think you might... well, not like exactly, but I think you need it. I have a copy of Perfect Day performed by Lou Reed, David Bowie, Luciano Pavarotti, Tom Jones, Bono, and several other people, whom I cannot identify.

from his-holiness :

sweet shit... those are brillint. bastard

from monkey-king :

Your first assumption was correct. Sorry, chicken.

from his-holiness :

I heard it was the new pink. Or was it the new Asian?

from his-holiness :

Exactly. Heroin is a hell of a drug.

from his-holiness :

Yeah, but have you heard Tim Buckley's Tom Waits cover? Absolutely abysmal.

from his-holiness :

Of course. Silly me. Good shirt.

from his-holiness :

Hey Lady, on my computer the feather image is blocking the titles, and the text from your entries.

from bonnylisbon :

I just got the note that you may very well have sent a thousand years ago, either way, thanks. But it just seems like the practical thing to do, does it not?

from luvabeans :

yay! thanks for the welcome, missy. sorry to hear about the SJ heat. it's nice along the bay. the other night, i slept in my ski parka, because it was chilly and i couldn't remember where i'd packed my blankets. see you soon, yes?

from bonnylisbon :

Thank you for the note, you're not as tough as I thought. You more of a gooey substance, something mushy and sweet.

from bonnylisbon :

Thanks so much, I hope you're right. I keep telling myself, "Don't be lame! There are children in Africa starving to death and watching their parents die of AIDs! Kids in Sierra Leone had to kill their own parents and friends! Don't be so sad over THIS, you have no right!"

from mister-ed :

right then let's twat about in san francisco shall we? i'll be there this month yes, staying the nights of 22nd, 23rd and 24th.....hopefully seeing the icarus line on the 24th. tell me where i have to go. and send a phone number to [email protected]

from mister-ed :

right i'll be in san jose on the 26th i think. could do the 27th also. it'd be good to meet up and exchange slang and tell you how cheap the cigarettes are in your country, but don't worry if you're busy! the guidebook i got devotes almost nothing to san jose which makes it all the more appealing.

from mister-ed :

will do, will do. want to book the whole thing next week or not too long after before i drink the money away.

from mister-ed :

erm the plan is to arrive in san francisco and leave from LA, inbetween going san jose, stockton (to see a friend), big sur, mojave desert, other deserts and anywhere else that seems good.

from monkey-king :

Somebody got to my site from using the search words "Fuck you arlette." You making enemies again? (I almost wrote enemas.)

from monkey-king :

"There is nothing extraordinary about Niagra Falls," said Oscar Wilde. "It would be remarkable if it went the other way." You might say the same thing about Oscar Wilde. - Eric Idle, "The Greedy Bastard Diary"

from monkey-king :

Not for $18.95, I don't.

from bonnylisbon :

Good idea on the "thumb gussets."

from bonnylisbon :

BE HONEST, have you ever, in your life, at any time, worn legwarmers? I've never had the need to, I never wear anything buy pants.

from bonnylisbon :

I think that was a fantastic comment to have on the record. Are people really wearing leg warmers again?

from bonnylisbon :

I have a terribly interesting story for you. The journalism advisor at my school, Nancy Redmond, is good friends with the journalism advisor at your school De Anza (right?), and she just informed our entire class for no apparent reason, that the journ. advisor at your school met her boyfriend Ed online at something called Match.com... NERDY! I love it.

from bonnylisbon :

So, I have a pretty funny pick up line myself, if guy used it on me, it'd get my panties off fast! So walk up to a fella and say, "If you were a pirate, would you want your parrot on this shoulder (pointing to the shoulder closest to you) or this shoulder (pointing to the opposite shoulder as you wrap your arm around their shoulders)? Pretty hot, huh?

from monkey-king :

"I didn't know they made The Lord of the Rings into a book." -Customer, ten minutes ago.

from monkey-king :

"At a similar photo shoot for the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue, the photographer tells me how his Chihuahua has 'erectile retraction dysfunction.' Whenever the little thing gets a boner, this guy-the Abercrombie photographer-has to reach in and make sure the dog's tiny foreskin isn't too tight. [...] Now, day and night, foremost in my mind is the message: NEVER GET A CHIHUAHUA." - Chuck Palahniuk, "Stranger Than Fiction"

from mister-ed :

i'm not sure your new not-a-diary thing will let me post comments. i posted one. it was: more photos. more stories about these photos, because they are fucking good. good morrow.

from bonnylisbon :

You don't have to "TRY" to be more entertaining, you are perhaps the most entertaining person EVER.

from irishblueyes :

hey, i have a question for you if you don't mind, i'm usually pretty good with the html stuff, but i can't figure out for the life of me how to get my flickr pics to be horizontal instead of veritcal and i see that you have yours that way and was wondering if you could tell me your secret?

from mousemilk :

Teeth: dunno, haven't pursued it. I thought my dentist/shyster called the procedure 'equilation' but googling suggests otherwise. So I'm still grinding like a mill.

from bonnylisbon :

Thanks for the note. What bastards people can be, eh?

from irishblueyes :

thanks, and you're right flickr is so addicting...by the way i really enjoy your diary as well as your photos!

from irishblueyes :

just wanted to say hi and i really love your photography, i keep a flickr account too, your stuff rocks.

from mister-ed :

thanks very much. i like your unquenchable rage.

from monkey-king :

Geez, next time we go on vacation together, I'm taking you to Lumpyland or something.

from arletterocks :

Because I grew up not far from Santa Cruz. And then when I saw surfers on Kaua'i ... whoa. I mean, EVERYONE'S goal should be to bag a surfer. Just *look* at 'em.

from abacinate :

How did you know bagging a surfer has always been my ultimate goal in life? Okay, actually it's bagging an Aussie surfer who's stolen a classic Jaguar. That was actually one of my first happy thoughts after the all the crying crap.

from gumphood :

I have alot more than that but I figured I put them on. hehe. And the key is this: I like to write not just blog, so .... alot of what you read will be what I write. Does that make any sense>?

from gumphood :

I saw you left the Cod a note about his diary, and it made me think...who leaves the vomiting cod comments besides me. So I went to find out...and here I am.

from his-holiness :

hi...

from his-holiness :

http://launch.yahoo.com/artist/videos.asp?artistID=1027385

from dizzy-dame :

*laugh* Yes! We're out there! We're just very, very hard to find.

from bonnylisbon :

I'm so behind!

from bonnylisbon :

POWER TO THE NERDS. I love when nerds like great music. Did you see Tom Waits on Letterman! Ohhhh, what a sexy old man he is.

from his-holiness :

Heh... that's klcroft's boyfriend... thanks... I've never seen that...

from rossygirl :

its rainin.... its pourin.... didnt bring a SWEATA! heehehehhee your mom didnt like crackmonkey tom?!

from bonnylisbon :

You're such a nerd, and I love it.

from bonnylisbon :

I'll try, I'll try, we'll see if it's in me.

from mzletty :

Everytime I read your diary I have this sudden urge to smoke. . .

from bonnylisbon :

You're terrifying in the way that you're the kind of girl I'm afraid of. The black coffee and cigarettes kinda of speaks her mind kind of girl. I'm one of the lame, kinda hangs out in the corner by herself kind of girls.

from monkey-king :

Well, I was already pretty sure they were mean to monkeys. But then again, where better to recruit for my unholy army of monkeys? And their first attack squad could go after the hippies who are protesting. Then they'd come for you. Dirty.

from rossygirl :

Hey tan chick, why are you ditching your fellow european blinding light white ass friends? heh heh... I have an irish tan, meaning, I look like a lobster in a white bikini! yeah, i just got back from bodyboarding in santa cruz with my guy. Kudos to your tan, meanwhile I lay here in agony!! Tip: banana boat after sun lotion. CHEAP and keeps your tan longer!! ;) cheers!

from klcroft :

just wanted to say I stopped by and that I liked. have a good one!

from his-holiness :

http://www.chaoticworks.com/phantom/ You're welcome-K

from his-holiness :

You Have Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me... That's beautiful...

from catspajamas :

where in hawaii? strangely, my mom will be in lahaina maui at that same time. if youre near there, throw a gecko at her for me.

from amazingchin :

wow, i'm actually really pleased about having sumone read my diary, let alone add me into their profile. As i am new to this whole diaryland thing, i am updating my diary constantly, I have no idea how many entries i've added since then, but since creating my online diary I have managed to self correct myself a lot, having moved from random entries to my most recent serious entry, where I actually talk about my oppinion on humanity... Strange But Thank you very much for taking your time to actually read my diary. Amazingchin

from kimmikers :

Damn, I used a lot in that entry. That's what drinking Newcastle after sex does to you, I suppose.

from rossygirl :

Thanks for still doin that template for me! :) Got your note. As for cleaning... I think I should open up the crackhead cleaning service! Im notorious for cleaning my house at 3 am, only, its not the dust bunnies that scare me, its the mysterious macaroni and cheese noodles that have been on the kitchen floor long enough to be considered chip n seal pavement.... oh, and the strange sludgy spots under the toilet seat from mostly male contributors that stop by. Im afraid the spots are going to form a conspiracy and I will find myself on the B horror flick, the blob. AHHHH!

from ryarianne :

love it. perhaps i should embark upon this plan of demotivation. then i wouldn't feel guilty that i rarely have anything interesting to say anymore, or that i work in a job that a trained monkey could do... it sounds far easier than, say, actually bothering to change anything or make my life enriching and substantive.

from rossygirl :

YEAHHHH!!! glad to hear you are back together with your chicken.. does he taste like chicken? they say everything tastes like chicken....... :D :P

from his-holiness :

You realize we have three of the same movies, three of the same writers, and one common mucian listed on our profiles?

from his-holiness :

Thailand? Your primary tourist trade is Child sex?

from his-holiness :

& if you go to the Saved! link on my page, look at the photo there. Shouldn't the girl on the left play Rat?

from his-holiness :

New Pinkwater book. Just bought it. Full price. Hardcover. $24. Looking For Bobowicz.

from wilberteets :

I'm glad you're on the mend. Get better!

from rossygirl :

yep, sounds like the pier! liked it. did you buy any useless dust collecting crap?! & get me some 70's jogging shorts from Hooters??

from slipping- :

awesome article!

from his-holiness :

Fantastic...But I wasn't aware that Rizzo and Animal were getting it on.

from rossygirl :

Hey Cherry Bomb, Spanks for lettin me get a little fucked up at your house saturday, even though my date was being a bitch (he knows it too) and do give him shit if you haven't already. ;) heh heh. Hale the monkey people huh? anyways, my diary is new so its pretty weak right now. I like yours though, keep up the shit talking... trucker hats... amen.!!!! Have you seen hello kitty? LOL ttyl girl. -Sharee

from his-holiness :

Beep-Boop

from mister-ed :

i've discovered a porch is the exact thing my life lacks.

from kimmikers :

You're on ;-)

from kilgoretrout :

Now come on... I am by no means defending Jersey girl as a legitimate film, but you have to admit it had some genuinely hilarious dialogue... "They're skinny because they're all coked-up whores!"

from his-holiness :

Yes, for Rodney, for Mountain View, and for the common good. But I'm planning on skipping town tonight. This whole ressurection, holy ghost, Catholics denial of their Pagan roots family evil nasty bullshit has got me on the run. I'm heading for the East Bay. Call me-D

from his-holiness :

Yeah, unlike Brautigan I was never so much the get drunk and shoot holes in the kitchen wall while my daughter is asleep upstairs type. And no, I didn't exclusively refer to you as "My woman." More often than not it was, "The little woman," or, "My sweet piece of ass."

from cyanideeyes :

Very nice article. Mind if I link it or copy it but credit you? Lemme know, this will fuel a debate of mine...

from his-holiness :

Please, just don't let it forget-D

from his-holiness :

Staying together for the sake of the houseplants is a very different matter from staying together for the sake of a child. There's an article about it in the latest issue of Chloro-Psychology. Do me a favour and sing that hymn of mine to the dead Creeping Charley, you know how hard all of this has been on him-D

from psy-vamp :

I wish I was reasonably attractive. you should post some pics.

from psy-vamp :

I think that was a bit of a psychotic lesson. I cry at stuff like that, too. especially because my father hooks the eyeballs out of the fish while they're still alive & uses them as bait for the next fish. yuck.

from mister-ed :

thankyou very much. you do very inspiring things with alcohol.

from psy-vamp :

I want to feel the weather like you did when you were a kid. xoxoxo.

from raven72d :

Monster Rancher! I'm quite fond of little Mocchi... And the short skirt/black look (especially the wrist brace) seems vur' alluring. Let's say that I'm rather fond of your entries and photos...

from psy-vamp :

I think I'd chicken out, too. xoxoxo. ♥.

from drunkencynic :

Yes, you're right. It does seem as if we're terribly similar. seize/thecarp. Shhh!

from drunkencynic :

Niiiiice.

from abacinate :

how'd you know?! he's one of those melted cheese fetishists!

from psy-vamp :

sounds like you have made quite the changes in your life. best of luck with them. I think tongue rings are sexy.

from kilgoretrout :

My dentist has these huge plasma monitors on the ceiling above the chairs... they stick an endoscope into your mouth so you can watch everything that's going on and show you what's wrong with your teeth. It's positively revolting.

from cyanideeyes :

The "Fuck You" monkey rocks.

from his-holiness :

Yeah, but you know I'll be rude as fuck to a customer.

from cyanideeyes :

Yeah, I'm a note whore. I see an entry I like and I comment on it. Anyway, your enlistment idea is just beautiful - try to get that on the ballot. Seriously.

from cyanideeyes :

Ahhhhh, yes. Funny how large amounts of tequila will damage you for days. Prime example of why I don't touch the stuff, unless it's Patron. I'm rootin' for your recovery...

from kimmikers :

And by 'bydinking' I meant by drinking. Little bit of Bukowski in me.

from kimmikers :

Bukowski did it bydinking continuously-the best cure for a hangover is more alcohol. Vicious cycle.

from cyanideeyes :

Fucking your way to fitness, eh? My last girlfriend did the same thing, she seriously lost 20 pounds in about a month. Man, I was so stress free then, too...

from kilgoretrout :

Well then I hate to say it, but you're pretty well fucked. Might as well head over to rent-a-center and take out a lease on said pony/knife products. In 3 years or less, you'll have your diploma...or your Degree!

from kilgoretrout :

have you tried http://www.mylittleponyandsteakknivesdirtcheap.com? I hear they have very reasonable prices... But their Customer service is what they're legendary for, of course.

from kilgoretrout :

Hows about I don't proofread my notes. That would be wicked awesome.

from kilgoretrout :

You're m new favorite addiction...is that alright?

from abacinate :

My boyfriend does the same thing! Except when I'm asleep! >o_O<

from heidiann :

I used to make up interprative dances to Bjork songs for some reason. They included me running through the forest a lot. And jazz hands.

from son-shade :

See, this is where you're selling yerself short...a little guerilla marketing and today, a religion should be able to grow by Meme-power. Think of it as a well planned, good-natured urban legend. Jesus' not been around in decades, but Christianity is still kicking like a demented bull. Create a "insert your religion name here" WebRing and watch the people flock. It could happen. You'll see.

from son-shade :

You kidding me? Once a war starts in your name and people start dying BECAUSE of your name - well shit...all downhill from there. Then your religion REALLY takes off and adopts a life of it's own and from then on it's all perky virgins and blood offerings.

from son-shade :

You're tempting a Just War aren't you woman? Aren'cha? YOUR RELIGION!? Why...I have an urge to smite you with fire and firmament and rain vengeful anger upon you and your people. But I am a rational divinity and realize there are different flavours for different people, and as I cannot be female, your teachings cannot be of that of a male. So may your path be just and surly, little young god.

from cyanideeyes :

I LOVE your new religion. Only thing is, the only possible way I can cuss more is by inserting expletives every other word, and even then I'd have to stick expletives in between the expletives. As soon as I leave work I'll go hit up the bar, though...

from kimmikers :

Yes yes, I would love to practice grammar. Wait a minute, I have to step back and take a deep breath-I never thought I'd actually say that. Sure! EMail me some sentences to diagram! Ladymadonna27 at aol.com

from son-shade :

I was both, the same. 7w8, 8w7. I think I'm just an, etc however, etc.

from abacinate :

Yes I am in fact the ruler of the Stupids. It's an elite clan of...okay my modesty sometimes takes me on uh rants...so I'll shut up now! But thank you! Much blushing will ensue!

from son-shade :

Frat boys have horns but they're attached to their fucking heads and their fucking heads are shoved very far up their lower fucking bowel.

from son-shade :

May a pox of a generation of mongrels visit thrice daily your family and friends and a Sloppy New Years to you and yours and theirs too, except for the stupid ones, an extra crispy pox for them. This is by way of "thanks" for the Spider thought. I'd love to see it, but do you really think Spider Jerusalem'd want to be worshiped by me? By anyone? Idolatry isn't my bag, baby. Sorry for the delay in the response.

from his-holiness :

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits-D

from tequilashot :

original note: For your information, I haven't cried in, like, three weeks. So there. And I had seven pints of beer the night I went and saw that punk show. So ha. I'm back on top and kicking ass. my note: Now see did'nt I tell that you rock hard as a cock! Yaaaaaay!

from iluvtunes :

three things: 1.loved your womens's lib entry 2.gawd, don't ya just miss Edgar madly?? I do! 3.ya wanna know who Orlando Bloom looks like? A young Mike Patton! True story! Look at the pic. of Mike at the botton of my diary and you'll see what I mean! Rock on.....Christina

from mzletty :

Hey thanks for putting that link of Orlando Bloom on here! Damn he is Hot!

from pirategirl :

Some day I will visit the west coast, and then we can drink whiskey together and not say anything because we already know it all, or just talk nonstop because there's so much to learn, or somewhere in there. I'm ok, thank you. XO

from pirategirl :

Awesome. I heart Arlette.

from pirategirl :

My guest says, "You know Arlette? ... Rad! ... Tell her I said 'Hi!' too!" XO

from pushpull :

dude! the email i sent you bounced back. email me at pushpullATdiaryland.com and i'll email you back.

from his-holiness :

I'm on the phone right now, but I'll call you when I'm off-D

from tequilashot :

seeeee i told u that u rocked! just because u fucking mope around and cry and lie awake in bed and have wierd dreams or whatever the fuck u do does not mean that u dont rock hard as a cock. and no not rock a cock hard hehe......hey i like that, i think i'll say it again......rock a cock rock a cock rock a cock, but ur very unique, funny as hell and u make a lot of sense that "normal" people wouldnt understand.......fuck "normal" poeple and fuck u too because u almost rock harder than i do.....bitch!!! no really *holding up the rock sign* think about it!

from his-holiness :

I'll call you. I'll probably be up later tonight-D

from his-holiness :

Did you get some sleep? I should be home before five, Chris is giving me a ride. Should I give you a call?

from son-shade :

Rashomon, eh? You have layers, woman - not unlike an onion, but very unlike parfait. Impressed, I am.

from shetries :

hey, just wanted you let you know about my new diary: evabegins.diaryland.com <3

from slipping- :

Ew! Ew! Ew! I'm not American! You take that back! *shudders* But thanks for the heads up, I didn't know the origin of the word... although I'm not sure how the Sneaker Pimps intended it.

from pushpull :

who's on the mix CD?

from his-holiness :

Actually it's not a bad thing. It's just a security thing, I've been hiding my face for so long that I'm a little shy about people seeing it. That and I have less facial hair to obsessively fiddle with now. You and your little "ooh ooh ooh."

from slipping- :

Ugh. I went to Palmer Owyoung's website and read an except of chapter 14. At least now I have some hope of being published... if he can do it, I'ma be a bestselling author, yo.

from son-shade :

I haven't even finished the entry yet, cause I think you are the only other person I know who saw, or wanted to see Eric Fucking Idle. I saw the Greedy Bastard on the 2nd. Alone. Like that fucking mattered, wha?

from bizarro-finn :

...and of course one of my favorites is "How do you make God laugh? Tell'm your plans"

from bizarro-finn :

"The Lion and the Lamb shall lie down together, But the Lamb won't get much sleep." -Woody Allen

from pushpull :

you're kidding. it looks awesome. you're so smart and creative; i never would have thought of that.

from son-shade :

I'd mean'd to throw a "beligerent" and a "surly" in there too, but I forgot. I am a Pig person. "...chivalrous and galant" hehe rich. But it continues, "...there is no left or right and there is no retreat. They have tremendous fortitude and great honesty...great thirst for knowledge...generally well informend....quick tempered, yet hate arguments and quarreling..." Bitches were right in calling me a Pig. I'm a Pig right down to the corkscrew cock! I'm a changed man. Fuck War Pig...I'm fucking Hoor Pig!

from son-shade :

People born in the Year of the Monkey are the erotic muses of the Cycle. Obtuse, rambunctious and very, very loose, they are remarkably slothful. Slothful to the point of inventive, inventive to the point of Goldberginian. Monkey people have stained and smelly right hands and a penchant for neck licking. They want to do things now, and if they can'y get it started, they will whine and bitch until somebody gets IT to a point where IT is now fun. Although good at delegating, they are the enternal critic as their memories are longer than their imaginations. Monkey people are quick to anger and even quicker to turn-on. They are most compatible with: Nothing. As fun as a Monkey is to play with, nobody wants to actually co-exist with one.

from pushpull :

okay, look, goddammit, where did you get that Radiohead bracelet you're wearing in your tummy picture? i want one.

from gwensworld :

i like those blonde kids that sing mmm-bop. and i don't know how to change a tire. and my tummys not super sexy...i'm like the anti-arlette. damn.

from arletteland :

my names Arlette too! ive only met another arlette once and it was spelled different and shes from brazil. we rock.

from his-holiness :

Hey, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Are we still hanging out? I'll call you after I get off the phone with William-D

from his-holiness :

For myself, I'm considering, "I'm too old for this shit."

from son-shade :

"God hates a coward." That's one of mine. "God" being an Idea, rather than secular. Another is, "Ominus mutantur, nihil inherit" and while I probably murdered the Latin spelling, it's "Everything changes, and nothing remains the same." Day to day...no use making cement plans, ya never knows what the fuck is gonna happen. And with that, the last, "Water can flow and move freely, or can be hard like ice. Be like water." - Bruce Lee.

from apunklilgirl :

hooray for my personal shopper! Lemme know when's a good time to get together. You could just call me or something newfangled such as that. (408) 292.0702

from apunklilgirl :

you did pick up that blazer, right? It sounds totally sweet, and how much do I owe ya for it, btw?

from son-shade :

I am in constant awe of your filthiness. So much so, I give to you "iRock". It's now yours to do with as you would. Call me high, call me nut-busing horny, call me all sentimental with Xmas fucking cheer - that may be - but I think it's got something more to do with a feminist telling me she likes cock. That's just so fucking irreverent.

from son-shade :

I think "cunt" is the perfect word for many, many people. It's rivaled only by "twat" and "cock-choker". And believe it or not, I've never EVER been considered a feminist and I use those words freely, with utter disregard for poor, underdeveloped palates of the masses . Cunts.

from son-shade :

Well then, what would you do for 4 Kinder Eggs, a partially assembled train and a bag of Jelly Bellies? That's surely worth whisker burn.

from slipping- :

You and your flattery :D You can have so much fun with Bible people, especially when they're in Bible trucks and can't Biblethump you.

from apunklilgirl :

only request is that it's black and not real lengthy. It should also be wearable on a daily basis.

from apunklilgirl :

A little birdie told me that you are oficially the crowned queen of finding rockin' thrift store jackets for others. I was curious if I could give you some cash to surprise me with a sweet coat? I know you love the thrill of the chase!

from devilscarpet :

Well, the marsupial bit is much more believable as you have a pouch and are hopping. The eggs are just too far of a stretch. *wink*

from devilscarpet :

I do the hoodie bunny-hop, too. I also enjoy telling people I'm a marsupial when wearing it.

from son-shade :

Use the word like a crippled, $3 crack hoor.

from izzardgrrrl :

I only have one question, my dear lass: WHO ORDERED THE BODY OF CHRIST?! I'll be carrying this tray around forever... or at least I would be if I were a priest. Do you think Darth Vader might have any use for this tray? At least the thin bit maybe? Hrrmmm...

from son-shade :

Hehehe. Thanks. I liked the "iRock, iReally Do." Titles are my favourite. The title of the story "Animal Revolutions" is an entire play on words. The animals revolt; against the humans and against themselves. In the end they die like locusts and they re-evolve once more as animals. Didn't really need to write that story, I suppose. I just summed the fucking thing up with two words. I'm so fucking bad I should have my own area code.

from son-shade :

This is like my second journal engineered of 1/2 conversations. Yes, but no action is without it�s reaction. I may be able to �fuck someone in the frothing fucking windpipe,� but all that drive�s all blown away by the slightest butterfly brush of the nuts. A true testiclement of the head of gold, feet of clay proverb. And Quark 6 sucks ass. After 12 years I may have to advise an Adobe page layout app: InDesign. It is unfortunately good.

from son-shade :

I'd be like a listening party 20 years late and with and more fluids and ass spanking.

from son-shade :

Jebus. That last message was downright Salvadoric Dalinian, wunnit?

from son-shade :

Or if you're a Tom Waits fan and own a copy, find yourself another fan with their own copy and then fuck them WHILE listening to both copies on two seperate CD players on shuffle - all the while, singing two seperate songs and smoking the same cigarette. You forgot that option.

from gwensworld :

i'm cute and sadly lacking in tom waits knowledge and experiece. *wink wink*

from son-shade :

Not many people could make scraping "the gunk out of my ears" sexually aluring. Could be because I'm a straight man and there's a nice belly button to the right of my reading. No, wait, that's left. Your last note has prompted a quick story...

from son-shade :

Soil. Not "solid". The "solid" is probably why they were on the monitor.

from son-shade :

What the fuck. "God hates a coward," right? Out of coffee filters, paper towel, toilet paper, napkins, and dirty underwear (I'd not soild perfectly clean ones). I can do you a couple better on that steak: Take some sliced garlic and olive oil and marinate a steak in a Ziploc over night. Grill that bad boy up (or broil if no grill) and that's amighty fine thing. I love steak. Butter and blue cheese is fucking great on it. Now I want steak on Buy Nothing Day. Curse you, Jezebel.

from son-shade :

WELL FUCK. Why don't you just fucking write about VBF's or something as tasty. TEETH FALLING OUT?! Bitch. I hate teeth falling out. But as for the lil crooked one? Prolly one of the front bottoms, right? I gots all my Wisdom teeth (which explains a lot) and the only prob they gave me is A) they won't finish growing and B) I got a light punch across the chin once and felt a *TIK* in my teeth. Thought I busted one. But, no, my teeth were so tight because of the Wisdoms that they overlap slightly at the front bottom and are my only 2 crooked teeth. And don't worry about your form, I can still blow a mean meat flute at $5 a tune.

from son-shade :

Well, if you have, excuse the late 80's flat top. Wouldn't Pairs Stalking be like Stan's "Kick in the Nuts" Game? Cause I'd be a fuck of a stalker and unless you went first, I really don' think you'd have much hope. I'm THAT fucking creepy, yeah?

from son-shade :

The Rev said something the other night that suit's every return message I receive, he said, "Don't mistake passion for anger." And he said that because he knows how I think. I don't care one way or another, I weigh every situation and apply as much "ME" as is prescribed. II'm merely interested in the Other Team's point of view.

from son-shade :

Misfits...Buy Nothing Day...? You been reading my Year Book? I skated with Steve Caballero, the SHORT Mexican guy from the Misfits. Been a big fan of theirs since before that, but back in the day when I was a SK8Boarder, yeah, I knew him. And saw them. And skated with his little posse the Bones Brigade. You're too young to remember that shit, though. And BND...I been a Culture Jammer for years. Adbusters is the best fucking mag out there. No ads, PREMIUM design and a message. ONE per issue. You really DO fucking rock and I'm gonna start stalking you now that I have free time.

from his-holiness :

You know I love you baby. I'm actually doing alright at the moment. Just chillin' out reading "Alan Mendelson." I hope you feel better soon, I've been worried about you the last couple of days-D

from son-shade :

Writing your point in caps is like using the word "fuck" as a conjunction rather than an explicative. Also shows a limited grasp of social conventions that 8 year olds seem to have a handle on - I got a nice BIG greasy worm for yer fucking bottle of Tequila, right fucking here. Which is a good segue for the fact that I too have watched and rewatched the KS movies this week. Cept for Dogma. Getting that one tonight. I'll always love those movies, so bad, yet so good. Rent "A Night With Kevin Smith" for a few days (2 DVDs) he's a great storyteller. Jeeze. With laurals like that you'd think I was Kevin Smith trying to schlep more Jay and Silent Bob schwag cough{http://store.yahoo.com/jsbstash/}cough.

from ninetynein :

Jesus Tapdancing Christ! If you're GOING TO USE ALL CAPS in a message, at least spell out all the fucking words. Happy fucking birthday, Arlette.

from tequilashot :

U KNOW WHAT? IF THIS WHERE ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WOULD BE SAYING PRAY PRAY PRAY BUT....INSTEAD IM GOING TO SAY.......LOOK BITCH, U NEED TO STOP FEELING SORRY 4 URSELF AND GET IT FUCKING TOGETHER. THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE U HAPPY IS U, THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CHANGE UR LIFE IS U AND MOST OF ALL THE ONLY PERSON U CAN DEPEND ON IS U SO FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE, THEY CAN GO TO HELL. LIFE AINT EASY AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT EXICTING BECAUSE U CAN CHANGE IT IN AN INSTANT. U MAY NOT KNOW IT BUT ITS TRUE, THINK ABOUT IT. IF U DECIDE TO TAKE A CAB INSTEAD OF A BUS YOU'LL HAVE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT EXPRIENCE. BUT I DEGRESS, JUST TAKE TIME OUT TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WANT SHIT TO BE AND MAKE IT HAPPEN ANY WAY POSSIBLE......THAT IS ALL.

from signalzero :

Well, i know that you dont know me from the guy sitting next to you at a stoplight. but i read your journal, and i am sorry you are going through a rough spot.

from madamepierce :

girl. you KNOW i'd be clinking with you, if i were there.

from gwensworld :

Bustier* (for Son-Shade below) i was gonna leave a message about how i was sorry you were so sad, but it seems really trite, so instead i'll quote bob marley. "Every little thing, is gonna be all right"

from son-shade :

Bracers! A drunken Wonder Woman fighting shit by day and deflecting "snapped" beercaps at night with her NIGH-INVULNERABLE BRACERS OF STOUTNESS. Either that or a Bra and matching Boustier(sp). But a jagged latter might be painful. I'd stick with the Wonder Woman Bracers.

from slipping- :

Sorry 'bout the note below this one, that's from me, I just forgot to sign into -this- account. Go me! I blame it on the fact that it's 5am. Yes.

from a-victoria :

Mmmm, groupies indeed! They taste like, erm, well, certainly not chicken. It's more like pork. Yum. They also go nicely with omelettes.

from son-shade :

I used to have one rule: Put the toilet seat up. I also used to have an Attack Chair, made from the oldest of royal purple crushed velour(sp). It was a swivel/rocker from the days when the base was comprised of FOUR base legs instead of the more modern and safety conscious FIVE as we see on office chairs. Now this rocker was low and so people had to sort of fall into it, but I'd always have it set so they'd drop their weight into the back (and over an unsupported side of the "4 legged X swivel" thing) of it and they'd invariable topple arse over teakettle and make me laugh like a school girl. BUT NO MORE OF THE PAST! I have delecasies(sp) to prepare and wine to imbibe and whatnot. Stop distracting me, you randy Trollop!

from son-shade :

Ehehe...hehh. Bazillion. Great word. Has a lot of snazz. There used to be this bar in Halifax (Nova Scotia) called Rosa's and there was a "Body Shot House Rule". If you was at the bar and you was doin some takillya, it was standard practice to look at the seckzy stranger standing on your shoulder and ask 'em, "Wanna do a shot?" Then you'd lick each other and drink. Great way to break the ice and a great House Rule. You should have a plaque made for you door, as such.

from lobsterchick :

Dude, don't stress yourself out about it, I was just messin' witcha. It's not like the fate of the world is in your hands. Hey, you have a request here called "reviewmebytomorrowori'lldetonatethisatomicbomb.diaryland.com." Wonder what that's all about.

from lobsterchick :

We here at Opal Reviews demand that if you have carpal tunnel syndrome, you do your reviews with a paintbrush clamped in your teeth. Seriously, though, do you want me to reassign your reviews until you feel better, or your hands fall off and you DO have to do everything with a paintbrush?

from son-shade :

Umm...\googlequery: son +porn, hateful?...see where I'm goin with this?

from son-shade :

Gyoza and Newcastle? What's next? Gum and fucking walnuts? Ice cream and Dijon? Milk and carbonation? Wait...they've already gone DONE THE LAST STUPID IDEA down there in your neck of the outhouse. Japanese food and Limey ale. Huh. Now I think of it, you got a kinda Yin Yang thing happening there. A big burly British beer and the little feminine finger food. Might just be onto something.

from gwensworld :

you're right. it is the epitome of sexiness. your tummy that is. and YUM potstickers. wahoo. i want potstickers and beer. i think i wish i was you right now. *sigh* at least i have a cooler...wait umm...i have a better...wait...geez. yeah. i wish i was you. so to make myself feel better i'm gonna call you a whore and run away. *ahem* whore. (no offense meant)

from gwensworld :

what on earth is gyoza? and i thought you would like to know that i am jealous that your tummy is, in fact CUTER than MY tummy! *gasp*

from slipping- :

Your layout is the shit. I have been reading back through some of your entries and I love it. Yay, you!

from kimmikers :

Today, after my three hour nap, I thought 'you can sleep when you die.' Dodododododododo.

from frozen-vodka :

Ha! That's my motto too! And you're right!

from son-shade :

Y'know what? Just yesterday I was high - no, really - and I was thinking about just that very line. I was thinking how a $5.00 milkshake ain't so fucking expensive anymore and that movie was made what, a decade ago? An odd POV often just leaves you feeling old. Welcome Back, Karlotter.

from his-holiness :

Hey baby, how ya doin?

from mzletty :

Hey Arlette! I've been reading you for a while now and I think you are ultra cool!

from his-holiness :

More than anything. I'll be back soon-D

from sukirella :

I feel your messy apartment pain.

from his-holiness :

I just read your article. I'm not sure "shocking and hateful" is the first thing that comes to mind. I would love it if you forwarded me that e-mail though-D

from his-holiness :

Also, can you get me a link to this nonsense?-D

from his-holiness :

Yes, clearly.

from his-holiness :

Congratulations.

from court-s :

*high fives you for the self-inflicted orgasms as lightbulb of what I should do later flashes over my head* I'm a new reader of his-holiness and inadvertantly found you. (Hmm I think he may like you.) Jiminy Chow - as a kid I tormented a kid named "Jimmy Chow". Weird.

from his-holiness :

You're right. I'm here instead.

from his-holiness :

I think you just did a really good job of articulating my feelings. I love you madly-D

from his-holiness :

The head thing, right?

from his-holiness :

I'm cute and broke.

from his-holiness :

Yeah, just go to the surveys directory, under D. It's just called davidbowie-D

from his-holiness :

have you seen the david bowie survey?

from his-holiness :

The map is not the territory, the name is not the thing named-D

from his-holiness :

You want details? We do deal with things very differently. E-mail me-D

from his-holiness :

Now I want to watch a movie with you-D

from his-holiness :

Hey sweetie. Yeah, things took an up-swing-D

from catspajamas :

really really sad: had you come to target yesterday or 2 days from now, youde have seen me there, working one of the check out counters.

from catspajamas :

Well then youve probably almost-seen-me-out-your-window a buncha times. Your newsboy hat is cooler than my newsboy hat. I thought for a minute we may have to fight over this, but no, the relative un-coolness of my hat makes it safe for us both to live in the same city. Sort of a blackhole avoidance contigency. For surely should 2 such hats exist in the same city at the same time the density of cool would be dangerous.

from kimmikers :

Arlette, you do in fact rock. Thanks for the comfort. If it weren't for the hangover I already had, I would have finished off my vodka last night. Vodka and tears don't work well together, though.

from catspajamas :

Actually it was "the king's head pub" but I cant bring myself to seriously refer to anything outside the U.S., especially in California, as a "pub". Thanks, by the way. I've only just discovered you and "his-holiness" but so far im very impressed and taken with both of you.

from his-holiness :

If i did things like write "lol" I'd do that right now-D

from his-holiness :

That's unfortunate. But still a fine hat I'm sure.

from his-holiness :

The hat. Where did you find the hat?

from his-holiness :

Where did you end up finding it?

from his-holiness :

That's a really cute picture of you-D

from son-shade :

Son. Not Sun. Bad Son. Bad.

from son-shade :

I've explained it better under The Setting Sun. I hope this aids you on your Xeno-esque Road to Enlightenment.

from son-shade :

A tan-plaid version of that very Helmet of Divisible Infinities, found last minute in my woman's equally mysterious and nigh bottomless Basket of Endless Hats completed my costume last night. I'm unsure exactly how they work, but a particularly salty so'wester (a yellow one) explained in broken English that it was a principal based in Quantum Paradox wherein when worn, the hat changes a person from "un-hat wearer A" to "hat wearer A", therein you become two people in the same place in time. This Hatly Quantum Principle allows for any infinite number of things to happen at any particular time, but they occur only to the "un-hat you". Every now and again, however, "hat you" get's some trickle down. That's what you are undoubtly experiencing. I'm no quantum physisist, but it sounded good to me. Now if you'd excuse me, I'm going for a swim in the Grey to play with the Random Eels. It was they who arranged this coincidence, I'm sure of it...but then again, there's no "sure" with quantum physics, right?

from his-holiness :

Oh, yeah, and you can tell me jokes about killing babies and eating their tender little brains whenever you like-D

from his-holiness :

If it makes you feel any better, I love you.

from scanzilla :

Oh by the way Arletter, I was just responding to the doochbag in your guestbook, not you. I like reading your page, keep on rocking.

from pushpull :

hey, i'm about thisclose to heading up there to clean up your apt myself. i'm not one of those neat freaks, but your description makes me cringe.

from ninetynein :

Two bits of advice... Lead with your left, and don't take your mouth guard out for any reason. If it all goes south, use poison. Nobody checks for poison anymore.

from signalzero :

did you know that if you click on your photo of you doing the horns on your editorial page it takes you to this UNGODLY huge closeup. it almost looks like your eyes are two different colors. but, it is just a TREMENDOUS picture... go try and click on it.

from his-holiness :

Ah. Never mind, I mistakenly thought you were actually talking about the vacuum.

from pushpull :

hey, congrats on your honorable mention! you may not think it's much, but i read your diary every day and i think your writing rocks. i bet Thom would love it too.

from blink-twice :

hey..am am a daily reader. i read basically every entry, basically because you are very interesting. i love how you write. i love how you ignore your clothes and the dishes. i am sorry about what happened the other night with you and that boy. i hope things get un-weird for you and him. umm if you dont mind i am going to add you to my aim list, my name in real life is andrea but my aim name is BlkPanthr472004. talk to you soon.

from son-shade :

Yeah...I can dig it. Some things people are MEANT to do because that's how their bodies ARE. I was built to rant. I can rant a bloody smear, pausing to breath. It's when the words come together for me and so I either usually conserve them until that switch is flipped. Smoking'd be no different than someone having a mouth (teeth, tongue, palate, etc) built for speaking, say, German. Germans don' have mouthworks like us Occidentals, so when most us Westerners try to speak it, they murder it. But there's a rare few who were born with that Uber-Ability because they are BUILT to do it. Smoking, fucking, insults, making omelettes...talents, baby. S'too bad people don't recognize this shit as much.

from his-holiness :

If you go to my notes you'll discover that I left a note meant for you on my own page. Because I'm a fucking genius. So, to recap, Albert's dead, Hawking's a gimp, so it's a good thing your father didn't go into synthetic sausages-D

from his-holiness :

I met this guy ijn Ben N' Nick's today who bought me a beer and told me his teenage daughter had done a fundraising car-wash and they'd made her wear a bikini. Then he showed me a picture of her. I'd have flayed them-D

from son-shade :

"World's Best Smoker." Dan goddamned better fucking well appreciate the complex and ritualistic beauty of such words. THAT is high praise from Ceasar, indeed. What a strange concept..."I'm the World's Best...". I feel an entry a'stirrin' in my attack testicles...

from his-holiness :

We shall build bridges with the bones of dead birds

from son-shade :

You ever notice that the side that you "backhand" people with, the place you know everything "as good as"...is not actually the BACK of your hand at all? Let your arms hang at your sides and tell me...what side IS your so called "back of the hand"? Dogma. We're all subject to it.

from his-holiness :

Hey lady. Tom's not such a good one to fall for. He's a heart-breaker. The artist types in general are nothing but trouble-D

from his-holiness :

Oh, yeah, and Monday's fine. I e-mailed back-D

from his-holiness :

What? I'm a very nice boy-D

from his-holiness :

Tragically so-D

from son-shade :

You'd not put out for the movie, but you'd drop them for Ashe. He's so bad he's rotten. And if you'd not drop them for ED II...you DEFINETLY would for 28 Days Later.

from his-holiness :

Re: Hecka. That was fucka ebola!

from his-holiness :

Re: New entry. Yeah, did you know some illegal drugs will make your mind, like, ten times more powerful? I shared this gem of wisdom with Bizarro-Finnegan. "I wish him luck." He said.

from his-holiness :

Yup, your banner just popped up. It's a winner-D

from his-holiness :

But really, if you can look past the fact that he's a total asshole, reading laswell can be pretty funny, in a trainwreck, decaptation sort of way.

from his-holiness :

Hella?

from his-holiness :

I'm thinking, more of a Dada echidna-D

from gwensworld :

dude. i totally forgot about the food aspect of my sexual needs. i am SO down for some gorditas and ben and jerrys. mmmmmmmmm. now i'm wet.

from his-holiness :

Well then I'll ask the magic diaryland oracle,"Will I see you on Sunday?"-D

from his-holiness :

Didn't you learn anything working at a comic-book shop? Men don't smell good. Men with a modicum of social grace who bathe regularly because they understand that that's how you get laid smell good. And that's really just social conditioning. Left to our own devices we'd probably just piss in our beards, like goats-D

from his-holiness :

Tell me about it. If I have to write one more poem I'm going to shoot myself-D

from his-holiness :

A brief story for you. Jeff was just telling me about a friend of his in high school who came to the US from russia during the Carter administration. Her dad was a well respected sculptor who did huge statues of communist leaders. This made him fairly famous and a fave-rave at parties. Well come to the US and tell people you're an artist and you get a polite smile and a cold fish handshake. He ended up becoming a sculptor for Mattel designing My Little Ponies-D

from his-holiness :

But really, I coudn't tell you. I'm staying with hippies right now. I'll tell you thisthough, I haven't traveled extensively, but pizza is a constant. And Pizza Chicago has soy cheese-D

from his-holiness :

Except for Satanists. They eat Lunchables-D

from his-holiness :

Not to beat this Laswell thing to death, but "the government is forming us to degress?" what the fuck could that possibly mean?

from lobsterchick :

The thing is, if my banners were funny or clever, I wouldn't even mind being a banner whore. I'd have one running every day of my life. But fuck. Banners are just not a good outlet for my creativity. So it's quantity over quality, which makes me more like Leslie Irene than Squirrel X. Squirrel X has too many goddamn banners, but at least they're clever.

from his-holiness :

I wish I could help you on the food front, but I'm the one who moved out. If it's any consolation I'm also doing the coffee and cigarettes diet. If I eat more than once a day now I get weird. Well, OK, weirder-D

from pushpull :

argh. just finished typing a rant about southern california drivers. and i could have gone on much longer but i got tired. anyway, your tummy is really sexy, but do you have to keep flaunting it? my computer is starting to drool. i always have food at my house, but nothing "snack-like" except pretzel sticks and fruit. people have learned to bring their own junk food when entering my abode.

from blacsunrise :

I live in ca and you are definately right about the sunsets. Some of the most beautiful Ive seen in my life and they were right outside my window.

from pushpull :

so true, about the beauty of this state. i *love* California, and can't imagine living anywhere else.

from his-holiness :

I'm a player? Check your action out with the sexy belly n' shit. Maybe if I had a gold membership I could get some hot photos of myself up and get some action like that. Yowza! It is a pretty hot picture though. Love you-D

from signalzero :

you are welcome. sorry to invade your life like that, but damn...

from his-holiness :

Popularity!

from signalzero :

i dont even know you. nor do i remember how i got your diary address. nor do i know why i am leaving you a note JUST to tell you that your stomach is PROBABLY the sexiest fucking thing i have ever seen on my 26 years on this planet. whatever it is you are doing (or not doing), keep it up. ~(anti)~

from his-holiness :

Diaryland-note-mackin? What are you on about?-D

from his-holiness :

And another thing. I've been going through reading all these notes about this Laswell kid, then going to his message board and all I can say is, we've all got to be good at something, and laswell's special gift seems to be pissing people off by being a pretentious twat. Cause it sure as shit ain't writin'

from living-lulu :

lol Sure..I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. : )

from his-holiness :

You're, like, totally hot. I'd, like, totally do you-D

from pushpull :

i guess i'll have to learn to share, as i began to orbit around all that is thom about the same time.

from vanoonoo :

hi :)

from son-shade :

You forgot the OBVIOUS step and time saver...put the dishes in the oven, then they are forgotten until you preheat it for the fishsticks. When they get baked, you HAVE to rinse, so put them NEXT in the shower and turn it on before you go to work. THINK WOMAN! THINK!

from spritopias :

Fool! You wouldn't have to do dishes if you ate out all the time and used paper dishes when at home. Good lord.

from frozen-vodka :

*sigh* I know what you mean...I keep hoping that eventually the guys will figure it out and flock...

from pushpull :

no. thom is mine.

from son-shade :

Oh yes..."seeing the hills muscle down into the blue water"? Great imagery, btw. Well said.

from son-shade :

I know he just said "the sun is growing bigger and will melt all the bodies of water. Then we wil have to move somewhere else". Hm. Ya wanna esplain THAT trick of physics to me? The trick where one "melts water"?And before you go on one of these "don't gorrect my koor s[elling" defences I'll put it to ya THIS way. I put bread in a toaster, not toast. Ice is water like toast is bread. If you meant to say something else...SAY IT. Don't go squirting yer sorry assed arguments with half a fucking thought and no goddamned clue - you write like a 15 year old with a writer's guide and too much time on their hands. And a person who thinks they can write with too much time on their hands ends up writing one thing - bad fucking poetry. Sums you up pretty good, laz. I hope you keep writing your pretentious bullshit pseudo-socio-moral diatribes. It gives me something to make fun of. And on that note I bid you adieu and goodbye. This is the funnest fucking message board, I swear.

from faschwaa :

If that little fucker has the money to hire a personal editor, he has no room to complain about a society from which he profits.

from laswell :

oh the fucking irony you arent perfect are you.. neither am i so who gives a flying fuck if i wanted to spell correctly i would hire an editor. i m trying to help you not hurt you. sorry you have mistaken me for a bad boyfriend or something of that nature. peace

from laswell :

i m not preaching just allowing you to realize the government is forming us to degress as a society. I dont punctuate because an artist draws a picture and wants you to put together his puzzle this is why lyrics are misleading and ppl are not aware that some illegal drugs can make your mind ten times more powerful. YOu have not done these drugs so dont assume that they are bad.. I dont want you to thin k that every sentence in my dairy should be a fucking letter to god. Like he gives a fuck you can still read right. I dont edit punctuation errors and shit cause i have a life and i have little time to correct miniscual errors that show that im imperfect aren't you imperfect.. ive never met another perfect sole. besides my typing ill admit i dont like to write out every word when i can shorten it to understandable text. Free your mind cause i think you are a little lost on the inside and maybe you just need to see the whole worlds problems before you look at your own sometime. In a couple trillion years eventually we wont even live on this planet. the sun is growing bigger and will melt all the bodies of water. Then we wil have to move somewhere else do you think well ever be able to focus on these issues if we still can't keep a husband and wife together or stop poverty.. Free your mind and learn then judge the information i have informed you with.

from pushpull :

that layout you made rocks! and i love the music debate....hee hee....

from son-shade :

Did I just read "all the music to your life?" I got a lit one for ya - right here IN MY PANTS! AR, this is your board...my fucking god this is a tough one not to...to...RRRRRRFUCKIT. Here goes...WHERE THE FUCK YOU GET OFF thinking YOU know what makes a true music fan? Where'd you get the mysti-fucking-cal medallion that says, "Le Premier Etoile?" Nowhere. That's where. She ain't judgeing you because of what you think..she's doin it BECAUSE YOU ARE A TOOL. Now before I get my other leg up and over this saddle, I'm gonna come down. Because you are a 19 year old boy, all romantic n shit, one of a pathetic many that may look back in 10 years and go..."Fuck I was a prat." Either that or you'll still be listening to the "music of your life" and working as a Best Boy on Dr. Phil sets. Music of you life. Sounds like a fucking BASF commercial.

from laswell :

ok im sorry if i freak you out I'm not trying I'm just trying to help you experience all the music to your life..Dick Clark does say that music is the soundtrack of our lives.. If you are truly a music fan you wouldnt judge a cd case by its cover and you wouldnt judge me like that either im trying to inform you that i listen to the same band s you do. We probably share a lot of views but you wont give me the time of day to tell you that you are young and i have experienced more than the average 40 year old and i know that you havent heard these new styles of music that would make you almost stop having sex just to hear the beauty of it all. If your that big of a music fan than prove it by hearing just that one cd and tell me it isnt the most beautiful thing imagineable next to the most delicate floyd song ....echoes.... Just trust me its worth the time you spend to look it up and try it on for size. Peace.. these albulms will literally change your life...

from laswell :

Lyrics are cool and important but they aren't the basis of a song the instrument is the real key.. A song is based aroung music not lyrics.. read my dairy and youll understand more.. peace

from laswell :

If you like music, in general we all have a mellow side and the only music that can make you really mellow is pure instrumental. Words only make us sad in the end cuz all love songs make you jealous if your not in love. Thats why we need to think outside of lyrics and focus on the beauty of audio waves. Try Bill laswell, buckethead, praxis, shawn lane, bill frisell, and the mars volta. They are hard to find so you need to look at amazon or something like this. Let me know what you think and if you like them help them spread their message they have a good one that we all need to understand.peace.

from pushpull :

my fave vomit story is when i woke up feeling sick in the middle of the night, and i wandered into my mother's room, leaned over her, shook her awake and said, "i feel like i'm going to throw up" and my mom said, "well, don't throw up on me" and she rolled over and went back to sleep, thinking it was a dream. i started to cry, wandered back out of her room, and threw up all over the hallway in front of her room. spaghetti sauce. on tan carpet.

from young-mami :

wow a sick drunk just like me! oh by the way i hav'nt written anything in my diary yet but your gonna know all my sick personal business by the end of the week, nice work...really haha!

from lobsterchick :

For some reason your puking fact reminded me of when I worked at the license office, and sometimes (okay, many times) I hated going into work so badly I would make up reasons to call in, such as puking, etc. Then one time I really did puke, and the next day I was like, "Damn, I haven't puked since I was seventeen!" Caught in my own web of lies, I tell ya.

from son-shade :

Kentucky Avenue & Ruby's Arms - saddest fucking songs EVER. Trouble's Braids - Best Chase Song EVER. EVERY SONG he has ever written is a wonderful stream of beautiful one liners to make T-Shirt artists and Bumpersticker Copywriters weep - and accompanied by music to soften the hardest of bastards. Tom Waits fans are not music fans...they are fans of something higher.

from son-shade :

Jeebus H. Sodomizing Christ! I LOVE DEAD BABIES! Dead babies is fucking HUMOUR on SO many levels. Once ya gits past the fucking stigma of infantacide it's an endless source of jokes. Like: Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. OK...so the baby in question was still slightly alive, but you see the funny right? CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH OVER HERE?

from son-shade :

Ah, yes. I lean back sith a sly grin on my face and a flacid cigarette on my lip. You�ve please me and that is no mean feat, my child. I skim through the digital representations of all these Blog-lives, all false and promised and rarely catch a glimpse of the barely contained hysteria of someone who Gets It. You are a filthy, foul-mouthed non-observer hell bent on living and fuck the rest of Them those malignant tumoresque lost little snapperheads. Strut your shit, baby - yer kung funk be strong. Your forecast: No wrath today - none in the foreseeable future, at least not from me: The Son That Sets on All of You.

from frozen-vodka :

I was doing the "Yay Tom broke up with his girlfriend" boogie after MI5 last night.

from pirategirl :

FUCK YOU GUESTBOOK!!! Um, I said something like, I was doing the "I need another shot of rum" dance and the "Who wants to smoke a cigarette with me" wiggle all night last night. And we call it avoidance. It's perfectly healthy, just as long as you drink yourself to sleep and can't think about anything sad during the day because you're so hungover. Then your liver explodes and you don't even have to deal with what's going on in your head cuz you're dead anyway. Yeah. Man, I need a flask or something so I can drink at work...

from lobsterchick :

Dude, warn me next time. I almost passed out at the sight of that crazy radioactive spider.

from pushpull :

i'm going to see Radiohead on Friday in Hollywood. i'm stoked - i saw them there in 2001 and i am hoping they will put on as good a show.

from desideroso :

i was born by C-section....and i have a fucking HUGE head. But now that i think about it, i guess it's an okay shape. Love your diary, by the way.

from meduzza :

was curious to check your site out... I would go for the nipples... pleasurrrrrrrre please! heh, anyways, funny entry. *in a good way, of course* adieu

from shetries :

i read your diary and have decided: you fucking rock!

from superlemon :

I didn't think that "Girls Gone Wild" would be like "When Animals Attack," but now that you mention it I do think that would have been much more interesting to watch.

from indie-snob :

Hello there! I had the wonderful priviledge to see Radiohead the other night and just posted my review for it. I have a bunch of other concert and album reviews here too. Check it out. Thanks muchly!

from lobsterchick :

Dude, I totally didn't get that you wanted to be a reviewer. I thought you wanted to be reviewed. I will get back to you ASAP on the reviewer thing.

from opalreviews :

Dude, you can't request a review from us yet! You need 10 entries. (This is Lobsterchick, btw)

from lobsterchick :

Yay! Three entries!

from lobsterchick :

Everyone loves a good twin story, and believe me, I've wasted more entries on stuff that was a lot worse.

from lobsterchick :

Hi, thanks for the gbook signing. How could your mom forget about that for so long. "Oh, by the way...?" And, oh, by the way, I added you to my faves.

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