messages to atwowaydream:
(click here to add new message):

from jimbostaxi :
I know you may not believe me, but I was just thinking about you! The concept of happiness is beautiful to read about but I have trouble experiencing it. I spend most of my waking moments tending to the needs of others so they might feel happy, but for me I gave up a long time go.
from secret-motel :
A warm whisper in the ear. Through miles of phone static. Smell of dew on vegetation. The silence of Sunday nights and darkness smouldering over towns and cities. The comforting electronic buzz of vending machines in late-night motel corridors. Halo of a Denny's sign beyond the off-ramp. A trigger finger relaxing around the coffee cup. I remember you.
from atwowaydream :
html hearts, my friend.
from secret-motel :
I've missed you, you, you, you, you.
from jimbostaxi :
Hey, good to see you back! Happy Easter! Stay safe.
from raven72d :
we need more axolotls.
from raven72d :
I'm back at D-Land and unlocked.
from raven72d :
I'll send you the access code at FB. I hope to be able to unlock in a month or two.
from the-grey-one :
“ever feel like that wolf that saw its first flash of bright white and thought, "What I wouldn't do for the other side of that moon?" “ — this line though. <3
from raven72d :
The stufflings and I hope your spring goes well. I'm glad you're out there.
from astitchaway :
"Happy birthday" is such a cliche, But since it's tradition, I'll say it anyway. I've been trying to write the perfect rhyme, But I second guess myself every time. It's hard to find the words to say To a woman who's words can take my breath away. I can't compare to the way you speak, But you know I'm thinking about you at least. Since the day I stumbled upon your blog, You haven't been far from my thoughts. Though we haven't had many conversations, I still consider you one of my best friends. So whether it's cliche or not, I hope that your birthday rocks. XOXO
from secret-motel :
You are ever-missed and ever-adored by me. Lloyd pouring drinks for us at the bar in the Overlook. "Best goddamn bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine. Portland, Oregon for that matter." That would be amazing. I demand that you be treated with kindness--especially by your self.
from bethshort :
You were always good enough. You still are. You know this coming from someone who has been to the blackest depths of turmoil. Most especially during periods of grief, I do take to my bed, as much as I can. When I am severely Depressed, my bed is definitely where I want to be as much as possible. I would urge you to adjust any meds you are taking, and just try to do one small thing every day that makes you remember yourself, or forget yourself, if need be. It sounds stupid and cliche, but I swear to you on a stack of Plath books that it will begin to help. It's okay to hide away. It's okay to feel nothing. It's okay to feel like shit, even though it is hell. Just remember to take of yourself, just a little. If you need anything you know how to reach me, and I'm always around. I'm a night owl, I don't really sleep much at night, but if you need anything at all I am here. Even if you just want to rail against everything in your life. *hugs*
from lust- :
My computer reset and deleted all of my stored passwords. May I have the key, please? Message to my Facebook, if you don't feel safe sending a note here!xo
from u-saved-me :
heya, im sorry it's been so long ive lost my key to get in. If you want, could you send me a new one? lock420athotmaildotcom <3
from nerryna :
hope you are well xx (unable to read your posts but it's ok.)
from raven72d :
My dear, I would never try to tell you what cereal to eat. I prefer my pancreas inside my body and not ripped out.
from the-grey-one :
Home waaaaas sublime, darling. Love your words <3
from illusionless :
Hi. I found your diary. I think I used to read you a long time ago. It's great to see some of the old gang still here. If you could please send me the username and password I'd love to start reading and catching up with you again.
from secret-motel :
Clasped hands over the abyss.
from raven72d :
Well, I will be taking a look at Altered Carbon.
from secret-motel :
(((haroldheartsselena))) Always
from bethshort :
Here for you if you need me. <3
from raven72d :
Wuff! I hope your Xmas/Misgiving went well.
from raven72d :
17 December 17--- I'm always here for you, girl. You're a great friend, and I'm Team Selena all the way.
from the-grey-one :
It ain't diaryland without atwowaydream. Love you chicky. Like freals. i wish you feel all the better so sooooon. Seeeeellleeeennaaa <3
from raven72d :
Treasure that will to live, girl. You're a valued friend and someone I like having this world. Fight like hell.
from secret-motel :
Good! Do everything you need to do to get better. Because I adore the hell out of you and want you around for a lonnngggg time.
from secret-motel :
I've missed you. I'm always rooting for you and for your good health. Many, many (((HUGGSSS)))
from raven72d :
Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
from the-grey-one :
<3<3<3
from raven72d :
I miss Bowie, too. And I miss Leonard Cohen more than I can say.
from the-grey-one :
definitely feel ya
from lust- :
Yo, we got you! So glad I'm able to get a glimpse into your life through this diary.
from raven72d :
Keep posting, girl! I love finding new entries from you!
from evanelle :
Thank you! I needed to hear that.
from raven72d :
Flying squirrel PJ's? I like that!
from raven72d :
I always drop by to look for updates... My own diary now seems to take forever to load, but I'm still writing there.
from the-grey-one :
You write some real good lesbian erotica, even if that's not what it ends up being, the world is better off with your writing in it my dear <3
from secret-motel :
I've missed you, too. But I'm pretty sure you never gave me your number. You used to call my landline, and I had no caller ID. I try to be low-key about calling and texting the few numbers I have in my smarty phone. I'm like an second-tier condiment--a thin spread goes a lonnnngg way. 21st century. Blegghh!
from lust- :
It's easier to live our lives for other people. I think that's what most people do.
from bethshort :
The ocean is so alluring...
from raven72d :
Clam cakes. Yes.
from secret-motel :
*are*
from secret-motel :
Hey, lovely lady. We our long overdue. Email me, and we'll exchange catching-up info?
from raven72d :
And, my dear--- you will always turn my head. 360 degrees, even!
from raven72d :
Wuff! Many thanks, Selena!
from raven72d :
Yikes! I've lost your p/w! Help!
from jimbostaxi :
Happyy Easter! Chocolate bunnies for everyone :0)
from secret-motel :
Hi. Biggest (((HUGGGSSS))) to you everrrr
from bethshort :
Always here my friend.
from jimbostaxi :
I may go through mini meltdowns occasionally but Jimbos here and reporting for duty! :9)
from bethshort :
Checking in. <3
from the-grey-one :
damn fine jam <3
from bethshort :
Here if you need me--beautiful writing, as always. <3
from astitchaway :
Thank you!! That always means so much more coming from you!! XO
from bethshort :
Anxiety---the old beast. I hate it, too!
from jimbostaxi :
Hope your ok ,drop me a message when you can :0)
from astitchaway :
Hey girl. Long time no chat. I just wanted to reach about and make sure (all things considered) that you're doing, well. Or, as close to well as possible at the moment. You're always in my thoughts and right about now, I'm guessing you could use a hug - so I'm sending well wishes and warm arms :) XO
from the-grey-one :
fuck the motherfucking world indeed <3
from jimbostaxi :
Yep I know :0)
from the-grey-one :
s'a good song though at least :)
from raven72d :
Have you gone p/w again? Send a password!
from secret-motel :
If you think the internet is bad now, just wait till dolphins figure out how to get online. Dolphins are dicks.
from bethshort :
Que-PON is even more annoying, though.
from jimbostaxi :
I say Uman instead of human I'm working on it :0( don't no were that damn H went
from jimbostaxi :
Awww thank you very much! One day you'll be in these parts and I'm going to hold you to it :0) you have a great day and don't be a stranger xoxo
from raven72d :
Exactly!
from the-grey-one :
<3
from misfitstray :
Hey, it's nice to talk to you *tinywaving*
from secret-motel :
Hey! I need to give you my new number. IL convinced me to get a smarty phone. So I've been transitioning to that and will probably cancel my secret motel landline number soon. I adore you and love chatting with you. Always.
from evanelle :
I appreciate that. I truely do. You may not be my best friend, but i am terribly fond of both you and your writing.
from the-grey-one :
Loved corset!
from bethshort :
Love the song, it's just beautiful. I also love the name "Shura." That was Ted Hughes' daughters name, actually. Look up "Shura Wevill." I love when you pop by my dland and leave notes. <3
from bethshort :
You are such a brilliant writer, my friend. <3 This last entry was just lovely!
from secret-motel :
Hush. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. And you weren't being intrusive. What we discussed was actually a subject I would gladly talk about. But I was getting a little frustrated with myself and the difficulty of translating thoughts into coherent speech through the distortion of booze-saturated brain cells. You're a bright favorite in my world. Never forget that.
from phaythles :
Thats crazy about your mom. Did she need to be gutted of the womb? (forgive me. I dont quite remember reading those entries or if you wrote em down. Things are muddled in my head.) Its stressful for real. As of right now I dont think she has cancer and *fingers crossed* that it stays that way. Damn the hysterical uterus. And I absolutely agree we are some amazing multidimensional women thus is why I fucks with you :)
from phaythles :
I havent read you in awhile and now that I have I need to make more of an effort. I feel like I learn the most interesting things from you. Youre an artsy craftsy person. I read beautiful words, see pictures, listen to new music and learn about artsy things like Victorian ink. Much love :)
from raven72d :
I liked Mr. Robot S1 a lot. And the FKA Twigs song is cool, too.
from bethshort :
Good song! I'll have to check out the show.
from raven72d :
hah! yes!
from raven72d :
Not a monster at all! A very lovely girl! Captain of my Nazgul, too!
from misfitstray :
so very beautiful eyes!
from secret-motel :
Pictures of you always make me swoon.
from the-grey-one :
Oh darling, you are gorgeous! I too know full well what it is like to feel otherwise and so let me say brava to you my friend, and you rocked the fuck outta that flower!
from misfitstray :
Do both! I would.
from bethshort :
You probably enjoyed a bit of time by yourself with books and horror! <3
from secret-motel :
https://youtu.be/b_29yvYpf4w
from the-grey-one :
Merci, mon ami. <3
from raven72d :
How is your pedigreed pet rock Walter?
from raven72d :
"The Killing" was grim and depressing and fascinating.
from bethshort :
Drives me insane, too! Granted, it's a short trip sometimes, but...
from raven72d :
Loved "The Returned". Loved the village!
from raven72d :
"The Killing" is excellent.
from jimbostaxi :
Your so awesome thank you so much!!!! :0) I'm on a mission hahaja if I pass it's going be a Raisinette and Snapple celebration you in? :0)
from starkitten01 :
You have no idea how much your note meant to me- and I needed to hear that now more than ever.. Thank you SO much!!!!
from raven72d :
do send your p/w! I always love reading you!
from jimbostaxi :
Sureeeeee :0) I'll send you my info
from jimbostaxi :
Sent you and email :0)
from bethshort :
You totally do. <3
from the-grey-one :
High five to you and your immune system!
from bethshort :
Save me a seat near the front. I tend to get cold easily. <3
from bethshort :
Sounds good, blue. <3
from theend :
Same here. Nice to meet you, I guess !
from theend :
I wish I knew what you were talking about, and how many years ago it was. What an odd place.
from se7enchance :
I am more the sort to patiently wait outside the window, until such time as the shop reopens. But you reading me still means a great deal. Thank you, S. Til then. ♥ May your tasseography be minimal and transparent.
from bethshort :
I also miss --|---o.
from bethshort :
For you, I have that kind of time. Seriously! Always. <3 I've got you.
from astitchaway :
I hardly ever pop on here, but I finally decided to. I know that when you lock up it means there's an issue. I hope you're doing alright. I don't mean physically. I mean mentally, and emotionally. I hope the diary is the only thing you've locked up, and you're not locking yourself up. I just wanted to send you positive vibes (a cliche, I know, but it helps sometimes), and let you know that you're in my thoughts. Obviously, or I wouldn't have bothered popping on here. I really only come here for you :P Take care of yourself. It's important. And judging by the notes left for you, you're important to some people around here. XOXO
from jimbostaxi :
Ugh I think that last one came back too, my email is jimsean2006@yahoo.com thanks :0)
from jimbostaxi :
Recieptent addy rejected error on the email maybe spam filter ?
from jimbostaxi :
Saw you locked up, may I have a password please:0)
from secret-motel :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=accEKtBebaU&nohtml5=False
from raven72d :
Indeed so! And I found a shop that still had Reese's Eggs!
from swallowthkey :
Hope you're okay <3 sending thoughts of love through the airwaves.
from frankie123 :
am i worthy?
from bethshort :
Having spent much of my life as a human medical experiment/pin-cushion, and also as someone who went through a battery of test to determine, 2 yrs ago whether I had Fibro, MS, or an auto-immune disorder like Lupus, Lyme, etc. (I have Fibro, which is a connective tissue as well as a neurological disorder) I can tell you with a bit of confidence: It is most likely a fluke. However, it is normal to unravel in situations like this. He was sweet to try to get you to relax but love sometimes pulls a wacky on is when we are concerned. Any time you are having trouble you are free to contact me any way you feel comfortable, girl: Angels, devils, and everything between. We're friends <3
from se7enchance :
Hey, you. I know we don't touch planes of existence much, but you are still a meaningful touchstone for me, here. I didn't come to ask for permission to trespass, but I did want you to know that I am supporting you (I mean, you know, figuratively). Not unlike all the rest of these notes. Take care of yourself, til the next time
from secret-motel :
Do you have a skeleton key for Harold? But no problem if you feel like writing privately for a while. I totally get it and support it.
from misfitstray :
could I please get the pw? Please?
from bethshort :
Yeah. Boy Drama. Like girl drama only more boyish. Lots going on. I will email you. I would like to be able to keep up with you here, if you'll have me <3
from darthuae :
can i please come in? x
from bethshort :
Oh, man. We are insanely in tune at this time. If you do lock up around here, make sure you email me the pass. This message will fade...away...in...five...four...three...
from evanelle :
I have always trusted you to keep my confidences, and i appreciate the offer, truely.
from secret-motel :
"I go from wanting to frolic in a field of dandelions to wanting to drown people in a tub full of Flint drinking water." Wow, this is the best sentence ever. You can't imagine how much this delighted me. Or, actually, you probably can.
from secret-motel :
You're the best, Selena. Your messages, phone calls, and overall friendship mean a lot to me.
from the-grey-one :
Praise be to you as well my friend! <3
from bethshort :
I totally get it. I wish I could do things like that more often with my sister. Don't feel bad for the mini-crisis---life is just a long series of small crises. :-) <3
from secret-motel :
I'm elated to have YOU as a friend. Thank you for the much-needed feedback the other night. Yeah, I've been pretty goddamn giddy these past few weeks. But I'm afraid of what's coming. I'm so afraid.
from raven72d :
I haven't seen the ocean in years---even metaphorically. I miss it.
from raven72d :
Message me anytime, Selena. Or text, phone, or use a semaphore. I'm always there if you need me.
from bethshort :
"I would dance by the ocean if i could. i used to think, "Well, bring the ocean to me" but now i know i have to find it." You have found it. The ocean is your heart. The ocean is the paper you write on, it too is a rectangle, and it's where you go to right your wrongs, too. Love this entry as much as I adore you. For serious, girl. <3
from bethshort :
Totally lovely! " Diaryland has become this fortress of absolute Disney Castle; I don't know why I trust it, but it probably has something to do with childhood. Okay, that sounds wrong. Everything sounds wrong." Yeah. Just beautiful <3
from bethshort :
The adoration is mutual! <3
from raven72d :
Well, there is the Hipster Ninja Serial Masturbator in Seattle. Even if the cops don't get him having to live down the name is Punishment Enough.
from bethshort :
01110010 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110000 01100101 01100001 01100011 01100101 00101100 00100000 01001100 01101001 01101110 01110101 01110011 00100000 01001001 01010110
from swallowthkey :
rest in power, linus iv *heart*
from bethshort :
So glad it got to you okay! I look forward to us having and attending that party one day <3
from bethshort :
Yeah. Definitely gotta be the circle of trust, as they say. I have learned my lesson about that the hard way.
from phaythles :
"I've never been crazy, only wounded" <---Yes! True dat. Youre amazing. Fucking amazeballs and people should be lucky to know you. And fuck you are not the crazy one. Everyone else is. You may have issues (we all have issues) but that doesnt automatically make you crazy. PS Thanks for the note. Im rooting for you as well :) Much love.
from astitchaway :
The problem with looking into yourself is always what you're going to find. I think some of us are afraid of what's waiting at the bottomless feeling pit of our minds. I started to see mine as the caverns below Paris. You know, the ones filled with skeletons? Yeah. It's hard to want to get to know that. But, it's helpful, sometimes. And, people like us tend to know more about other people than they do about themselves. But, we need to live ourselves. And to do that, we need to get to know ourselves. This journal can be your best friend.
from secret-motel :
I love Sylvia, too. Fuck this heartbreaking world.
from the-grey-one :
Makes sense to me
from astitchaway :
Thank you. I'm happy to have been missed. I really missed being here myself.
from evanelle :
I'm not sure if anyone has told you today, but you are a wonderful older sister. Not every young girl gets that. I really hope everything works out well for your sister, and for you.
from astitchaway :
your sister is very lucky to have you looking out for her. and it's big of you to put so much of yourself at risk to give her the stability she needs.
from theways :
hope everything works out good :) i'm glad your sister has you!
from bethshort :
I would do the same for my sister. <3 Best wishes for everything, dear heart.
from raven72d :
I had such a crush on the young Jane March. The scene where she does the tango with the other girl at her school was brilliant. And I loved her attitude...
from raven72d :
Adulting is like driving through the rectangular states--- flat, empty, soul-leaching. Murderous nymphomaniacs always help.
from raven72d :
"Juliette" is more fun than "Justine".
from bethshort :
It's beautiful! Yes, just a tiny splash of guilt to make sure we don't enjoy the art *too* much, or have lusty-wrong feelings about it.
from raven72d :
You'll always have us to be there--- okay or not.
from bethshort :
Ugh. No one really knows what okay is, because you're right, it's very subjective. On the bright side, I think they're making more cat-shaped things, and better flavors of Ramen. Plus, "our" year just started today!
from secret-motel :
Btw, I now realize I was full of shit when I told you, after watching just the first episode, that the adaptation of "The Man in the High Castle" was faithful to the novel. As I progressed through the series, I found myself thinking, "Hmmm, I don't really remember all this." Seemed to be a lot more action/adventure than what I recalled. So, when I finished season 1, I went back and re-read the novel. Wow, it's a lot different! But I do enjoy both and still look forward to season 2. I especially loved the scenes in Canon City--the exteriors and interiors. I wish I could live there.
from phaythles :
My mom used to do the same thing. She didnt do credit cards and businesses but I had so many bills in my name. Im talking water bills, energy bills, phone bills, cable bills, etc. Most of the time she wouldnt pay the shit. Its such a shitty feeling to realize that your parent would do that do you. Keep your chin up. Your mom might be crazy as hell but at least youre there to help her and your sister and that says a lot about you. Theyre lucky to have you :)
from raven72d :
Wuff! I love being able to make you smile, Selena! (After all, you are captain of my Nazgul!)
from secret-motel :
You are the loveliest flying squirrel ever. Rocket J. Selena!
from nerryna :
credit: i really hope things will work out for you. you really are a good daughter, and sister.
from raven72d :
But never forget that you're a good daughter and a good sister. You're taking care of family, and I admire your determination and resilience. I really do.
from raven72d :
Speaking professionally, you need to do serious things to keep your mom away from your credit--- proving intrafamily identity theft is hard, and you don't want to be looked at as an accessory if things went really bad.
from raven72d :
Is your Armchair Detective Hat a fez?
from raven72d :
Stacey Schiff, "The Witches: Salem 1692" is the book. I think you'll like it.
from raven72d :
Aha! That was in the new book about the Salem trials! Let me find the author's name--- I will get that to you! And I'm glad you got the card. You, my dear, are always on my list of people I'm glad I know--- and you will always be captain of my Nazgul!
from phaythles :
Your message made me smile. :) <----See. Totally smiling sideways. Im glad even though I am a truly horrible partner in crime that you would keep me around in your awesome squad because you think Im amazeballs.
from phaythles :
My Gma watches her "murder mysteries" or "creepy shows" as she likes to call them. I was watching one and they were backtracking and finding clues and all this shit and I will say my mind was blown. Im horrible at finding clues. Like awful. Like when Im getting mysterious music and theyre showing the same video footage/picture numerous times so that I can figure it out eventually and I never do awful. I would hands down make an awful ass detective and a sorry ass serial killer.
from the-grey-one :
"Kansas" is awesome!
from the-grey-one :
I hope you find the safety to write, my talented friend. So you may feel safe first foremost, but also so those words of yours can paint all those unique lovely images you're so capable of conjuring.
from secret-motel :
Ah, I misunderstood! Well, when it IS your birthday, I want you to be celebrated. R.'s birthday was yesterday, and her husband didn't do shit for her. I've been sad and angry about that ever since. We gotta celebrate those we love. Because (for most of us) there are very few we truly love and very few who truly love us. "It's very late in the day," John Fahey said. "Very late."
from se7enchance :
Ah. I had not realized your birthday passed. Happy belated, madam. In regards to getting back into writing (of the style you mentioned, as it were...). Have you read "Sunstone"? The writing is really rather awful (and I'm absolutely certain you could do better), but I sell a TON of that book at my work. So. There's a market. Just saying.
from the-grey-one :
: )
from secret-motel :
I'm late and outside the bindings of f-book. But a happy belated birthday! I thing I like about being here and alive in this segment of the 21st century is that I'm here and alive at the same time that you're here and alive. So, I celebrate that and celebrate you and am happy to have you as a friend. All the back and forth notes and emails over the years and your late-night voice in my ear--they mean a lot to me. I steel myself into a radio tower and transmit a million-billion radiant hugs over the Rockies and into your existence.
from se7enchance :
I'm not an apologist for your villain. You're still my hero. But when someone is kind and brave enough to let me drink their vulnerability, I'm always disappointed when I'm told there's no more to be had. Deliciousness of the drought may vary, of course.
from the-grey-one :
hey. i like the way you write. just reminding you of that fact.
from jimbostaxi :
SpaghettiOs ! ;0)
from darthuae :
Olivia Benson is my mother.
from secret-motel :
You are weird and on-point and everything else you said. It's why I adore you and keep sending you psychic hearts and hugs from way out west.
from raven72d :
Whimsy is key. Also cuteness.
from secret-motel :
I hope your sister gets better much sooner than later. Having someone as close and loving as you makes a BIG difference. I also hope you get some much-needed Selena time sooner than later. You know what I mean? I wish for you a prolonged period of peace and easy breath where you can just enjoy moment after moment and not have any drama going on around you. That's what I wish for you. It's way overdue and you deserve it.
from the-grey-one :
aww dude. dude. my hearts breaking for you and your sis. so much love to you both. so incredibly glad she has you for a sister/maternal influence. she will be okay, she has you.
from swallowthkey :
"whatever doesn't kill you makes you weird at parties."
from secret-motel :
Not sure that's something you should be jealous of--if you consider why someone might feel the need to invent something like that. I don't miss those days at all. Well, maybe a little...
from secret-motel :
I had an imaginary twin.
from the-grey-one :
i never had an imaginary friend either, it is forever disappointing.
from secret-motel :
Oh, but I think you ARE a romantic. Not a conventional romantic, of course. Conventional romantics are dull, predictable. You are not normal. But, as far as I am concerned, you are definitely right! It's why I adore you, Selena. And a Bjork video, doesn't hurt. Did I ever talk about my younger-Harold obsession with B.? It never completely faded. Those old stirrings begin to stir when I see her face, hear her voice. She's definitely a romantic. And not in the conventional sense.
from outer-jessie :
Your post from 8/17 cracked me right the fuck up.
from raven72d :
Throwing KFC into a horde of the undead is a brilliant idea. And long ago, National Lampoon did a KFC parody where the Zombie Colonel was serving up black children in buckets. So the Southern Republican Zombie KFC Colonel idea has generated at least comic strip already.
from raven72d :
Definitely! I'm so looking forward to watching it tomorrow. It makes me want even more to go live in NZ.
from raven72d :
I'd love to hear you sing from a tower...
from raygirl999 :
Sorry to hear about your troubles with your dad. Screw anyone who hates "I can't even" because they "can't even" so they can shut it.
from secret-motel :
That sounds rough, the situation with your father. You've had to put up with so much. I'm glad your mom and your sister have some safe refuge. I hope you eventually get some refuge, too. You deserve it.
from secret-motel :
Yeah, I fear I'll end up ordering stuff all the time if I sign up for Prime. Secret motel is a bit cluttered with books and music. But the streaming is tempting. Maybe when the "Man in the High Castle" series is ready. Many hugs to you!
from secret-motel :
I hope this new treatment is a big, bright success and cannonballs you through the gateway to peace, health, and easy breathing.
from the-grey-one :
aw man, i hope you are the guinea pig for awesome treatment
from frankie123 :
mmmm that kim carnes song is good
from the-grey-one :
aye. it's so hard and terrible and lame and much much hugs right back to you
from the-grey-one :
i'm really sorry about your pup. <3
from se7enchance :
Hey. I'm sorry to hear that your familial discord is still self-sustaining, and growing worse. But I'm grateful that you managed to extricate yourself from it. You and your sister both are safer from those riptides with *your* feet firmly on shore. ♥ Cheers~
from swallowthkey :
that is a serious shitstorm of stress all at once and it is totally legitimate to feel the way you do about it. seems really unfair for one person to take all of that on at once. i hope you are able to get some time away from it and take care of yourself. (vaughn's boss pulls really similar shit and i also want to set him on fire often... transphobic douche bags...)
from nerryna :
on neglect: i, too, have feelings for stuffed animals. i'm sad when they're in stores getting dusty with no one buying. the way you cared about them being in the dark not on the bed - endearing.
from raven72d :
Think of small raptors mounted on casters, going WHOOSH! as they roll past you while waving. That'll always make you feel better.
from raven72d :
Birthdays! Yay! I hope all your stufflings sang you songs!
from secret-motel :
Am I too late? Ah, then a great big happy belated birthday to you!
from the-grey-one :
ah, gracias to you and your beautiful words <3
from raven72d :
The little stufflings are vur' welcome! I always enjoy kind thoughts from stufflings!
from doctorkaysen :
hey, beautiful. i miss you even though you are pretty accessible to me via real life facebook: but i miss this part of you. thinkin' about you. xx
from raven72d :
My notes function is back! Yay!
from secret-motel :
I am very excited for you and relieved that you found a new home. You've needed this for so long, Selena. Enjoy!
from the-grey-one :
lovely writing, and brimming with happiness for you <3
from raven72d :
17 December 14--- beautiful entry.
from dangerspouse :
Go listen to John Denver. Or the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. You'll feel better about Twain in no time.
from se7enchance :
"Give me a crossbow and I'll hit a cumulonimbus cloud and lick the vapor like cotton candy. Give me the sun and I'll eat it inside out and make a fortress from its helium bones." -- This. Words like these are the kind that rebuild my inspiration from the inside-out. Truly. Thank you for the kind note, and for just being.
from secret-motel :
I wish for you permanent residence and full citizenship in the nation of happiness.
from raven72d :
Happy is good, Selena. I want your year's-end to be happy and delightful.
from raven72d :
A therapist? A good bartender works, too...or a shadowy figure at the next table at a caf in an exiles' city.
from the-grey-one :
"trees" is awesome. also your words and you also
from raven72d :
Well, exactly! And I do like Hill's poems a lot.
from phaythles :
"My hair ends up looking like a two year old massaged my head for about two hours and placed bows in random places."<-----Ahahaha! #TippedOver. Same here. Same here. It's awful. I guess I assumed braiding was this natural talent that everyone secretly possessed. Riiiiiiight. I feel you on the whole let loose thing. Sometimes I have to remind myself it is okay to be completely crazy on this thing. It is what it is here for. But sometimes I'll re-read em and go why am I so crazy sounding? Then I feel bad. Then I bottle my emotions. Then I start to lose my shit in real life. So Ive learned crazy is good. And honestly there are so many crazy people on here that I feel like Im in a safe secret environment. Hell who are they to judge that Im dealing with a 15 foot 20 head emotional dragon when they got the same shit going on?
from raven72d :
wuff!
from raven72d :
Move where you feel happy, girl. Have the life you need...and want.
from nacht-katze :
I share in your Twin Peaks sentiment. My favorite scene will always be the one in which agent Cooper throws rocks at a glass bottle.
from the-grey-one :
merci, mon ami <3
from raven72d :
Little Pusheen is always wonderful!
from raven72d :
$50 and binge reading? Not a bad day, even if the Chelsea is gone.
from phaythles :
Love the random list of things to do. I do this all the time. Then I ignore them. Then I rewrite them in hopes of achieving something. Ignore. Rewrite. Accomplish one thing. Rewrite. Ignore. I realize half the fun is making them and pretending how productive I am.
from the-grey-one :
did i mention how glad i am that you are updating again? it feels more like diaryland around here again. <3
from phaythles :
"i have held so much in until i looked in the mirror and all i saw was aluminum sawdust and a pair of achingly desperate blue eyes. is she crazy? is she 'all there'?"<-----Who knows if you are all there? Most people arent. Crazy is relative. The important thing is not to hold all the madness in. If you do it seems to seep in other areas of your life. Youre allowed to be batshit crazy on paper (or computer screen) cause words dont judge. Its only when you have public meltdowns ala B. Spears do people question if you are "all there".
from raven72d :
"chalk white is not a shadow that can be as disarming as stars".... I love that.
from raven72d :
A small flash mob of Wolf Corgis hopes you have an excellent Sunday evening.
from phaythles :
Thank you for the note! He is better now thankfully. *Hugs*
from raven72d :
Lilo & Stitch was wonderful. And you're always of assistance, Selena!
from raven72d :
Squirrel beanies are always key.
from raven72d :
I miss cereal box toys. I miss them as small surprises.
from tobehis :
Um... If we haven't totally lost the thread of the conversation by now since I seemed to have abandoned Dland... It sounded from your last note that Inhad made some kind of comment about Saving Mr. Banks. It is a very sad movie, but after learning some of P.L. Travers' story, I was able to understand bits and pieces of Mary Poppins better. There is humor thrown in, though. I'd say it's a good mix of funny/sad/poignant. Just don't read the books. I re-read the book after watching the movie and the Mary Poppins of the book is a total witch. Let me know what you think if you do end up watching it.
from raven72d :
Yes--- get far away from there !
from raygirl999 :
I am still around and reading. I am sorry your dad is such a POS, dickhead ************* and you don't have the support that you need.
from achmardi :
Aw, thank you. I often forget that anyone even reads my posts. :)
from raven72d :
We all need a sea-view. If only to hope to see the Green Flash.
from phaythles :
Sometimes it feels good to take a break. Breathe without committing to various words attached to some fleeting emotion. Or sometimes its nice to not have a trail of all the random twisty thoughts. Youll write all sorts of amazing things when youre ready.
from lust- :
<3
from phaythles :
Aww thanks! Im trying. I feel like my heads been messed with for years so Ive got to fight through the fog but I am trying. *big squeezy hug*
from tobehis :
Getting the help you need is nothing to be ashamed of.
from phaythles :
I fucking heart pasta too! We're officially back to being besties :) I will no longer judge you for your non-cookie habit. Just means you wont be getting a holiday tin for christmas.
from the-grey-one :
dude, it's either sounds of silence, or mad world that i find myself inadvertently humming throught the day... good songs. but also danger signs for me.. i feel yah.. <3
from tobehis :
Tuppence a bag.... Mary Poppins has always been one of my favorite movies. Have you ever seen "Saving Mr. Banks"?
from secret-motel :
I love the Birds entry. You have such a complex relationship with your father. Every time you write about him, there is something that surprises me, arriving at an emotion I wasn't expecting.
from tobehis :
Sorry I haven't been around. Since I got my job, I have no time to read or write. There always seems to be something else I need to do "first." Plus, I just haven't been able to get the words out of my fingertips.
from raven72d :
voices and snowflakes: we need both.
from lifeortheatr :
yeah, context is everything ... my comment was too flippant, sorry.
from lifeortheatr :
sorry, your dad sounds kind of awesome.
from secret-motel :
I, too, heart CCR!
from phaythles :
How do you NOT like cookies?! Ill try hard not to judge you :) I do find it really funny that I dont think twice about all the crazy dark and twisty (yet sometimes funny) things you say but you say you dont like cookies and the FIRST thing that pops in my head is "Oh HELL no bitch! Who dont like cookies?!". Hmmmm...I apparently have a few kinks to work out in my logic.
from lust- :
Re: Your entry on the 9th. Love that lip colour on ya!
from raven72d :
Invisibility...yes. I long for that.
from raygirl999 :
YES, ala mode is the best! I love cherry pie and peach pie with chocolate ice cream. I also like Cool Whip because I am a southern heathen with no taste. I even eat it frozen out of the tub! Yum/gross
from raygirl999 :
I love cookies! But I also love pie so if you have some of that I'll totally follow you!
from movingsands :
Sexy ;) No really. I'm serious. Deliciously sexy. Me not a creep(serious about that too)
from secret-motel :
You are a great sister. She is fortunate to have someone like you in her life. That kind of support you provide makes and will make a BIG difference.
from frankie123 :
2014-05-23: me too, man.
from phaythles :
The whole I have no idea what the fuck I am doing in my day to day life pretty much sums me up. The whole damn entry. Although I can pick out jelly, I just cant mix it with peanutbutter on a sandwich because it skeeves me the fuck out. Ugh. But other than that weird little twitch of mine...uhhhh yeah. Train of thought gone.
from raven72d :
When someone says "heart-shaped box", do they mean a heart shaped like an actual, anatomically-correct heart? That always makes me wonder.
from raven72d :
I always loved Niles!
from raygirl999 :
Those stories made me smile. I am wading through the insanity of OKCupid and the latest message I got of note was some 22 year old asking to lick nutella off of my body. Not even the worst offer I've had.
from secret-motel :
The little guy story reminded me of The Station Agent, film I saw a long time ago.
from raven72d :
Never trust a midget in a cardigan. And...cow print duct tape? That's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard.
from phaythles :
"we acted like ten year olds and nothing will ever beat that." <-----I often let my inner 10 year old dominate my social activities. Its so fun and VERY freeing. I recommend everyone do it at least once. Ive never been to a real arcade but I hang out sometimes at like Dave and Busters or some shit. Love running around getting tickets yelling (in my head) take that bitches!
from evanelle :
It's even better knowing the duct tape was cow print.
from phaythles :
I found you! Woot woot!! Nothing like a little team work and communication :) I should have just started with the email address. I thought about it but figured name would work. Should have known better cause I don't think anyone has ever found me that way unless their friend is my friend type of shit. So Im either forgetful or delusional (I think an interesting combo of them both). The bottom line: We are *officially* friends and thats all that matters.
from phaythles :
I noticed that you are just a *little* bit off. I dig the quirkiness though :) Also did you send a friend request? I went on and I didn't see anything from you. Or am I just not doing this right? I feel incredibly lame that I haven't figured out how to master FB. Like what the fuck, Im sure my 7 year old brother could figure it out.
from phaythles :
You are too funny. And yeah I see we have plenty of dysfunction in common thus is why I stalk you. :) I do have one Im not really on it that much though but if you wanna be my friend my name is, ItsJustJas.
from phaythles :
"as unsocial as i say i am, my problem is definitely not within the realm of making friends. it's keeping them."<----Completely understand. Ive got this thing where Im really good at the whole upkeep thing of friends for awhile. Then I just kinda slowly withdraw from them. Sometimes people are emotionally exhausting. I think I need to find more stable friends instead of the all out emotionally unstable but really lively set. Im slightly attracted to attention whores but after awhile they grate at me. Making friends is easy Im like an uninhibited kindergarter who when I see somebody I like Im all hey youre funny/awesome/cool I like you. Heres my number. Lets be friends/We are going to be friends. Then months down the line Im all what the FUCK did I see in this person? Then I begin to start dodging all calls/texts and constantly become unavailable.
from raygirl999 :
Yes you should come to NYC! It is completely insane and wonderful and it't the perfect place for me to hide/go wild and lose/find my mind.
from raven72d :
I love the landscape--- and the town under the lake at the dam.
from raygirl999 :
One day, I will convince you that we must meet and hang out. I am a lovely person most of the time. And the rest of the time...well there is never a dull moment.
from raygirl999 :
You sound charmingly like me. I am terrible at making friends and when i am drunk, I am unedited, unfiltered and slightly unhinged. Perhaps I should just keep spending time with my cat.
from secret-motel :
Your voice lights up the cave between my ears. Huggy-wuggies!
from raven72d :
Crayons, yay!
from raven72d :
wuff! said the small, long-eared desert hedgehog.
from the-grey-one :
: )
from raven72d :
wuff! thank you! and i'll be there as long as you want me around!
from raven72d :
Always remember: I am pretty much a ride-or-die friend. I'm there at the other end of a phone if you need me.
from raven72d :
Love the glasses.
from the-grey-one :
those sunglasses are all the awesome sel!
from jimbostaxi :
If your lobotomy came first you probably wouldnt care too much about the other two :0)
from tobehis :
Thanks for the heads-up on the Noah movie - I read three or four articles and one actual movie review on it (from a site I go to for any movie I want to watch) over the weekend. At first I was still struggling over whether or not to support it, but after reading the final article, I decided not to see it. Some people are saying it would be a great evangelism tool - to take non-Christian friends to see it and then have a discussion about how it differs from the Bible. Not being a Christian, I'm sure you're not really interested in reading the last article I read, which seemed to be the most dead-on with Christianity of the ones I read (the others seemed to have faulty logic), but here's my reaction to it: "Why do we expect Hollywood to put something worthwhile out there? It's all a money-making ploy, and I won't support it even as an "evangelism tool." There are much better ways to get spiritual conversations started than to support people who twist God's word until it's unrecognizable." So there ya go. ~ If you can't sit however you want and relax at home...what's the point of it being home? At least you know better than to do it in public, so thumbs up for that. ;-)
from raygirl999 :
Just wanted to say "hi" and that I think you are wonderful. I hope you know you are very special.
from the-grey-one :
<3
from raven72d :
Sasha works. (Hugs back, always)
from raven72d :
Lars? Hmmm...very good entry!
from secret-motel :
You just sit however you want, relax, and enjoy yourself without all the lady-like shit. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
from raven72d :
Well, I lip-synch to early Lady Gaga while holding a Japanese sword. That's what people find when they come by unexpectedly.
from tobehis :
Hardcover is more durable. (Going off the comment right before mine.) I don't do those online quiz thingies that everyone is posting their results for on FB. (Wow, terrible syntax, sorry.) I guess they're...fun? Addicting?
from secret-motel :
What's wrong with being hardcover? I love my hardcover books as much as my paperbacks. I have plenty of classics and weird, rare shit in hardcover. They usually age better than my paperbacks and are printed on a better quality paper. Maybe I'm missing something, but I think hardcover is great. And so are you.
from raygirl999 :
Yay murder! Wait that sounds bad...neve rmind.
from raven72d :
Lost in Translation Karaoke Pink? Yes!
from akasha90 :
Mermaid hair would be most appropriate for you. I would love to dye my hair lavender, but I'm afraid I won't get a job and if I don't get a job, I can't dye my hair lavender because I'm so broke. I can never win. I was opting for a violet black instead once I get a job.
from lust- :
Your previous entry excited me beyond belief.
from raygirl999 :
Lavender!!! Mermaid hair is the best!
from tobehis :
It is good to know that people read. :-) I would like to see the Noah movie; I am very interested in seeing what Hollywood has done with it. I will have to check out the review before I watch, though, to make sure they haven't filled it with filth that I'm not willing to watch. :-/ I haven't heard when it comes out, do you know?
from secret-motel :
"retarded looking, pink and crinkled, Gollumm looking motherfuckers" You always brighten my corners.
from tobehis :
From reading the 12th and 14th... Welcome back to "real life"?? Here's to a speedy journey back to being "yourself"!!
from movingsands :
the 14th was wonderful to read :)
from raygirl999 :
Thank you for the note! It seems like both of us are stumbling towards piece of mind.
from raygirl999 :
Glad things are sounding lovely in your life. You deserve only the best!
from tobehis :
"Never underestimate the power of naps." I totally agree. Love love love naps.
from raygirl999 :
re: the coworker: if he starts wearing a monocle, then I am going to worry. Happy belated birthday! I hope your day was amazing!
from theways :
happy birthday to you special girl of words <3
from raven72d :
She was on TV the first year I was teaching, there at Auburn. She was a major vision for me. You and I both wanted her.
from raven72d :
I spent the My So Called Life Years dying to date Angela Chase. But you knew that, right?
from the-grey-one :
i missed you.
from evanelle :
It's good to see that you have returned. I have missed your updates.
from frankie123 :
damn, man.
from raven72d :
you know that if ever you need support or a voice, you just call me, right?
from raven72d :
I'm glad to have you back, girl.
from raven72d :
Selena--- don't vanish at FB...or here! Are you okay?
from phaythles :
"WHY THE FUCK are you letting your child run down the dimly-lit aisles of The Macaroni Grill, making sounds that closely resemble a coked-up retarded chicken? Do they know how ugly they look when they cry? Can we stop it?"<----This made me tip over. Literally. From laughing so hard. I used to work at Toys R Us. I cannot even fully explain to you the crazy parents treating the store like a daycare system and the vast amounts of children screaming/yelling/laughing/crying. It is a chaotic mixture of noise and headaches.
from darthuae :
please don't go.
from raygirl999 :
Hello, where have you been? I miss my daily updates on your life. Hope all is well!
from raven72d :
Thanks, darling!
from movingsands :
Sanity? Dare I say happiness? ...
from the-grey-one :
thanks kiddo <3 sending good thoughts your way!
from the-grey-one :
hey. i am sending well wishes to both you and rj this week. smelly dirty hippie well wishes, but well wishes nonetheless.
from raven72d :
any card from you always means a lot.
from raven72d :
"ghost of a ghost...." I like that.
from raven72d :
"ghost of a ghost...." I like that.
from movingsands :
consider me warned, but I'm sticking around because there is nothing like the promise of dark erotica and stilettos. Also, if they don't like it, "they can suck loose and bitter lemons" :) It's funny because I needed to hear something like that yesterday. You get hugs for that. Hugs and gothic victorian dreams...
from raven72d :
More than happy to arrange the show! And to have Ms. Kloss there.
from movingsands :
and yet, I think a good foil to your drunken (and poetic) antics would be wit and sophistication-- both I sadly do not possess. So I nominate raven72d!
from cherrygash :
id like to do that too
from cherrygash :
i is my favorite
from raven72d :
Good list!
from the-grey-one :
i like that your list was lettered and not numbered. because you are a writer.
from movingsands :
I'd rather see you host an award show. I bet it wouldn't be a snooze fest
from tobehis :
I don't watch the award shows...actually, I don't watch ANY TV, except Biggest Loser; but sometimes I'm slightly tempted to watch award shows, because I want to see all the ridiculously expensive dresses the gals are wearing.
from newschick :
are we in the same family? this sounds identical to like, half my immediate line.
from raven72d :
I've known you for a while. I have faith in you.
from raven72d :
I've known you for a while. I have faith in you.
from raven72d :
Actually, you're a good sister *and* a good role model.
from tobehis :
I didn't know you could do that!
from tobehis :
Thanks.
from tobehis :
I actually prefer to leave voicemails...there's just something about having to look a person in the face and make conversation (or be connected via phone lines and make conversation) that freaks me out and clams me up. I much prefer writing. That's why I have so much trouble with interviews. I actually have to TALK to people. :-O Oh, the life of the shy girl...
from raven72d :
Best book on the Inquisition is by Netanyahu. Take a look. Also at a film called "Goya's Ghosts".
from the-grey-one :
i agree about the dland chat. i think perhaps we should make one on some crap little free chat site thing and then track down this elusive "andrew" and make him add a link to it.. or something. something should be done.
from tobehis :
I was able to get together with my friend who invited me dancing Saturday night. She texted me and asked if I wanted to come over for a game night. I want to be there for her, to help her overcome this pain her soon-to-be-ex-husband is causing her (she's still praying and hoping for him to come back home to her, but I'm not holding out much hope), but I'm not exactly sure how. So I just try to be there for her. I still think it would have been super fun to swing dance, though, but she did have a lot going on that day. You said, "I'm glad you're finding a way to really feel things with your faith again, to experience the sensation of God and to let it fill your heart." To be frank, that surprised me, since you had said earlier you're not "religious." Of course, I like to think of being a Christian as not being "religious" but of having a relationship with my creator God. I've never even heard of Diaryland Chat...is it for gold members or something? ~ Super-long note, sorry. I have a lot to say sometimes. :-)
from tobehis :
Very creative... I probably wouldn't do very well in survival mode. :-/ Something I've wondered... who is this "we" and "you" you speak of?
from tobehis :
It's weird how you laugh at things just because they're true... that's how your post about Facebook hit me. And it doesn't just happen when you're over 28. Nearly all of those applied to me, and I haven't hit 28 yet.
from secret-motel :
All of life is a black hole. And then I look up just in time to see you lowering a black-hole-resistant rope ladder for me to grasp and climb outta here like a mountaineer.
from the-grey-one :
<3<3<3
from tobehis :
"Real life" ...so over-rated. ;-)
from secret-motel :
I'll join FB when Mark Z. is dead, dead, dead and this government learns to mind its own business. But I suspect I'm kidding myself thinking that I'm flying with the gophers way below the radar. Anyway, I'm glad I'm here and you're here. We're solid for 2014 and beyond. You always bring me back to life.
from secret-motel :
A great big happy New Year, to you! You know what? Your voice in my ear was definitely a highlight of 2013. It means more to me than you maybe realize.
from tobehis :
I haven't really made any resolutions for 2014. ~ Random question, and if you don't want to give out this info that's fine, but I was curious..How old are you?
from raygirl999 :
Have a beautiful 2014!
from raygirl999 :
Happy New Year!! Thanks for being a wonderful DL friend!!!
from raven72d :
Yay, stufflings!
from raven72d :
Merry Christmas to you, lovely friend! I'm glad you've been around all these years!
from tobehis :
Aloha.
from movingsands :
Let's! Always wondered what it'd be like to be in a gang...
from lifeortheatr :
i tried flashing the finger-square to some people today, but I got beat up. they spoke russian, I think they were from livejournal
from tobehis :
I understand how understanding "text speak" is difficult...There are so many nuances to tone of voice that give us cues on how to take a statement, and that all disappears when you write it instead of really say it. Suffice it to say, I understood that you were not pressuring me to try the wine, but just stating an opinion, and I was just responding with my own opinion. :-) I would like it if we added each other. I'll admit, I don't like all the cursing, but the fact that you're not a practicing Christian is not a reason for me not to add/read you. So...when I add someone to my buddy list, I put their name in the comments section...do you mind if I do that? What is your name? (You don't have to tell me if you don't want it added to my profile. It's just a way for me to remember people's names on here.)
from secret-motel :
finga square, muthafuckaaaa!
from raygirl999 :
Thanks! I am good at working with others, no matter how cold and cat-like I am! I just can't work with idiots.
from tobehis :
I know you weren't. I was just giving more info, trying to keep the conversation going. O:-)
from tobehis :
I've never had any desire to try wine or other alcoholic drinks. Maybe it's because I have long lines of addiction in my family and am afraid deep down I'll follow suit? Dunno. Just doesn't seem worth it to me. I can have fun other ways.
from raven72d :
Damn it, now my Udon noodles at lunch look all...vermiform.
from adaorardor :
Sounds like bliss! Someday I will be the kind of person who can do that. :)
from raygirl999 :
Your day sounds like a wonderful dream...enjoy!
from tobehis :
Never tried wine... OK, so that was completely random, except you mentioned sipping it in the hotel room. Hope you had a good mini-vacay.
from phaythles :
You left me the sweetest note ever. Thanks! *hugs*. PS this ----> "I become a different person when I'm away from home. I become. . . kinda chill." <---- is completely true for me as well. Families have a tendency to drive one insane. It's always freeing to escape for a bit to reset and reboot.
from secret-motel :
A mini vacation away in a hotel sounds very appealing. I should do that. I hope you enjoy every minute of it.
from dangerspouse :
"... like he's coming downstairs to throw up fake Christmas flowers...." LOL - what a great line! Seriously funny entry. (But really, learn how to cook, willya? Ain't nobody got time for that cardboard-and-salt assy Ramen shit anymore. C'mon, Alfredo sauce is THREE FUCKING INGREDIENTS. You can do it.)
from frankie123 :
leave-a-pretty-girl-sad reputation?
from the-grey-one :
thanks sel. <3 means a lot
from secret-motel :
I wanted to grow up to be a professional bowler, when I was a kid. I participated in my first summer league when I was seven. I was pretty damn good for my age. I did Saturday morning leagues, travel league, city tournaments, all that shit. By the time I was twelve or thirteen, I was sick of it and moved on to other activities that were equally embarrassing. And I haven't bowled since.
from raygirl999 :
Thanks! You are very right. She mocked me and said my cat probably didn't even know who I was and wasn't loyal to me. I said that people who dislike cats are usually mean to them, hence the cat's dislike of them. Ugh she is a loser.
from darthuae :
"will i give it an eating disorder?" YES. (to the sentence itself, not its meaning.)
from tobehis :
Thanks for the note. Feel free to visit ToBeHis anytime, and add me to your buddy list if you like what you see. I love hearing from my readers and probably won't be leaving Dland, either. ~Amy
from lust- :
Thanks, doll. It's always nice to feel not-so-alone with that one. I think many people feel the same way, but don't know how to express it. Especially around near strangers. Happy Sunday Funday!xo
from the-grey-one :
"boxes" is supreme.
from phaythles :
"I say it's haunted, but she says OCD." <---- Shrinks aren't always right. There are quite a few bad eggs out there who seem to fuck up more than they help. I think some salivate for the unique weirdness in people so they can claim they are profound in some way and deserve to be published in some dry ass journal. As I get older I realize some salivate for the mudance. You say you're crazy they swear up and down you're not. They shove the neurosis in some box or repress it under some pills and then send you off fit for society. I believe I am venting at this point but I swear I had this discussion about stupid shrinks and Freud not that long ago. Hah! And I actually want to be a shrink but I plan on being the badass good egg :)
from tobehis :
Roaming D-Land and found your entry about the hungry white box - Loved it, because I often feel the same way!
from phaythles :
You say "spaghetti" and I just say the more ambiguous "carbs". Never been one for sweets but lord do I love me a cracker, bread, pasta. It makes the world go round :)
from raven72d :
You'd have totally ruled the playground.
from adaorardor :
He has been chastised in ways that make a slap look like a kiss. :)
from raygirl999 :
Thank you for being here and making my day even brighter :-)
from the-grey-one :
<3
from raven72d :
Wuff! Thank you! I will do that, darling!
from adaorardor :
Been there these last few years. Perfectly natural to be depressed under those circumstances.
from jimbostaxi :
Where are the fuzzy slippers? ;0)
from lifeortheatr :
thanks for the note, i'm actually impressed you made it down that far :) your 11/05 entry is beautiful.
from frankie123 :
you are doing okay
from the-grey-one :
"bottoms up" . just. perfection. you are awesome. <3
from adaorardor :
Amen to all of this. Especially the cornbread.
from phaythles :
"I just want a little peace, quiet, a good plush bed, and a lobotomy." <----I second, or third that notion. I prefer the brain scramble first and hopefully after that the peace and quiet come (with a lil bit of rainbows and sunshine, I am after all a happy kinda person when I'm not wallowing in the twisted, dusty, shadowy parts of my brain). If not, then either they fucked up or I was too fucked up. Well in that case I dont think it'd matter too much anyway?
from secret-motel :
"I just want a little peace, quiet, a good plush bed, and a lobotomy." Me, too. Me, too.
from raven72d :
Happy upcoming All Hallows' Eve, Selena!
from raygirl999 :
I had a day like that on Friday. It was filled with day drinking, napping and TV streaming. Sometimes you need a chance to breathe.
from phaythles :
Your alien thoughts cracked me up. If my imagination constantly thought that...well I'd be slightly more crazed then I am now. I don't understand the 3 cashiers either, especially since the machines do royally suck. They piss me off because every time I use one I ALWAYS manage to set off the blinking light thingy which means I've somehow got into a battle with the machine and lost. Then I'll have some grumpy old lady who is giving me the side eye because I've interrupted her "me" time of sitting on her ass on the clock by doing something stupid to set off the blinking light thingy. The alternative is standing in line for 20 minutes with people crowding in on your fucking personal space. I don't always have the patience for that shit. Home made slushies are the best. Only thing? My blender died. And honestly that's when my slushy addictions went to new heights. Apparently this how I mourn. :)
from lust- :
I'm excited about your statement from the latest entry!
from phaythles :
"bee-line my way to the self-checkout. And then I consider murdering the machine in front of me with its constant "Please place item in the bagging area." Motherfucker,it's been in the bagging area, and if you repeat it one more time it's going into my purse and I'll plead insanity." <--- I almost tipped over from laughter. You are so silly and I feel you on those damn self checkouts. I swear each time will be the LAST time and then I somehow end up back at one because the store will only have like 3 cashiers available. Also I feel you on the child at heart thing. I always let my inner 10 year old dominate my social life :)
from raven72d :
wuff!
from the-grey-one :
"please place the item in the bag. please place the item in the bag." i say this at random intervals in order to destroy peoples minds.
from raven72d :
I'll always be 3 Years Old at heart.
from raven72d :
I love a girl with a Rob Zombie film reference.
from thinfoil :
Morrissey? Perfect :) But Smiths Morrissey, early days solo morrissey or today's morrissey? I would love for it to be early days solo. To have Moz utter something i said, that would be utterly amazing.
from thinfoil :
who would sing the song?
from thinfoil :
"When A-Ha's "Take on Me" comes on, I usually rock out and sing. . . " When i was 11 i would picture myself as the guy in the video for this song. i wanted some to love me enough to climb inside a comic book to be with me.
from raven72d :
Wuff! I am happy!
from raven72d :
I promise that even though I'm a storyteller at heart, never to just run my mouth around you.
from raven72d :
I hope the anxiety passes over, girl. Best wishes, always.
from frankie123 :
Perfect
from frankie123 :
re that most recent entry: damn
from raven72d :
Wuff!
from moodswing :
I come and go from time to time.. but somehow I always end up coming back.
from raven72d :
You've been a loyal friend and supporter all these years, girl. I'll always back up my friends.
from moodswing :
a+ pinup
from raven72d :
Good luck at the wedding!
from darthuae :
you're fucking beautiful.
from secret-motel :
You look awesome in that pic! You go to that wedding and have yourself a great time. The ex is just that: an ex. He has no claim upon you or your time.
from the-grey-one :
you have an awesome strength. i am glad you are set to prove that to yourself
from secret-motel :
I'm pretty angry about the way your grandfather was treated by those mothers in the restaurant. I'm all for safe, legal abortions in this country. It's just that I think sometimes it's the parents who should be aborted.
from frankie123 :
on the rare occasions when i wear my hair in two braids, everybody always jumps to tell me that i simultaneously look just like both pocahontas and wednesday addams. to be frank i think they mean just wednesday addams with a tan. // http://bit.ly/1eCZIrF
from raven72d :
I'd like to see you with pink hair.
from raven72d :
You've always had good tastes in these matters.
from xnamehere :
you have one of those read me this entire book series to bed voices. :) mmm love. <33
from raven72d :
I can't decide which one is Tegan and which one is Sara. I love the song, though.
from thinfoil :
add away. i think that things are about to get infinitely more interesting with the day ive had.
from thinfoil :
i sit at work and research the possible combinations of medications in my medicine cabinet. granted since my wife left, the cabinet has much less in it. whether its a tub or just a mix and match of pills, it doesnt matter to me anymore. i miss my wife. and i am tired of living without her. im also incredibly tired of lying to everyone about how i feel just so that they will leave me alone. at night i pray for death. every night.
from bliss-sad :
Women are fucking exhausting. I prefer men, too. I guess the difference is, I take pride in being a catty bitch sometimes.
from thinfoil :
i lay in the bathtub, hot water raining down on me from the shower head, the razor in my hand had already cut me 7 times. and i stare at my wrists and nearly finish the job and tell everyone to fuck off for good. but there was chicken in the oven and the house would have burnt down. the most inane things save us from ourselves.
from darthuae :
peachy: 2013-09-12. i actually did not think you were selfish. i actually stared at your page and thought "me too."
from nerryna :
ohgosh i am so sorry! i thought i did email you the password to mine... inlethaldoses@aol.com right? i'll try again. I feel so bad! must have been a typo or something.
from nerryna :
can i has password? been going on without your words for far too long! please? :) neridagger@gmail (totes understand if you wouldn't, no worries)
from darthuae :
if nothing belongs to us, then why are we sad when shit ups and leaves?
from frankie123 :
that one's always struck me as being very sexual (undone bonnets and birds sitting on heads) probably only cuz i like to find sex in 19C children's lit
from secret-motel :
I love the sound of your voice penetrating the fog. Way out here.
from doctorkaysen :
your voice is beautiful selena. you sound just like i thought you would sound, is that funny?
from lust- :
Thought you would've unlocked by now. Mind if I get a key?
from raygirl999 :
I was shocked. I am very happy and so glad I kept at it. I am happy at this job and finally feel fulfilled. Funny how I didn't realize how good I have it.
from raygirl999 :
Hahaha my lack of music knowledge shows. I was like Beyonce??...reference some britney lyrics and I am right there! Anyway thank you for the kind words and faith I have any idea about what I'm doing!
from raygirl999 :
You are right about her not liking that I am her boss, but she has always been lazy. I am just immune to her fake tears and manipulation attempts. I basically told our boss that we need to hire someone else soon because she thinks she is irreplaceable.
from the-grey-one :
"I hate making promises to myself because then I either have to break them or keep them." haha. yes. this. most definitely.
from the-grey-one :
<3<3<3 massive internet hug to you, madam.
from warpednormal :
any chance i can still read yours? alex.palacol@gmail.com :) would be wonderful
from warpednormal :
any chance i can still read yours? alex.palacol@gmail.com :) would be wonderful
from raven72d :
my dear, those are two of my favourite genres of jokes.
from raven72d :
Girl, I'm staying on your good side.
from bliss-sad :
I miss your diary but have a weird and inexplicable anxiety when it comes to asking people for passwords. If you're open to readers, I'd love to hear what I've missed. nicholeia@hotmail.com
from the-grey-one :
"and i'm lookin for my door key, but you are my porch light" . dude. porch light. amazing.
from frankie123 :
okay i finally remembered to (late late late). you get me fumbling off-key and forgetting my words and then tapering off for no reason because that's basically always how it goes >> http://vocaroo.com/i/s04gF46hBtoz
from the-grey-one :
Dang Sel. I am still, after all this time, able to be completely floored by your words. Like dang girl. You rock the world of words. I am forever a groupie to your rocking of words. And it was f-in awesome as fuck to hear you say em!! Arrrghhh you are so awesome!!!
from the-grey-one :
<3
from frankie123 :
i record myself singing all the time, decent way to pass the time when you're waiting for a bus/dgaf. you do it in a much prettier way than i do
from the-grey-one :
yay singing! you sound awesome! hIGh fIVe!
from raven72d :
"They'll order their vodka skinny, but their young pool boys messy. " This is brilliant.
from raven72d :
Locked? I'm bereft! I miss your entries!
from phaythles :
7/3: Its hard to stay envious and inspired of someones wordplay if they deny you the privilege of reading their beautiful prose. So if you are still in the mood of sharing your innermost thoughts a password would be appreciated. Drrkstarr@yahoo. Thanks :)
from frankie123 :
gsharonkang@gmail.com?? being locked out is driving me mad :(
from raygirl999 :
Just wanted to say that you rock! That is all
from outer-jessie :
I think that's fair. Being an inquisitive (nosy) soul myself, I can understand Rj's desire to know every corner of you. But you also have every right to have corners that you keep to yourself.
from sythy :
I'd love to have a password if you're giving them out. My email is forsythia at gmail. xoxo
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note! Yeah it sucks having stupid conscience. I worry about getting references in the future plus it shows the new employer that I have little respect for myself or the place that I work. I am just so unhappy here. I hate getting out of bed and have gained so much weight and I am sad all the time. Oh well, at least I have a job!
from outer-jessie :
I can't figure out how to FB you - apparently my stalker-fu is weak and flabby. But you can email me here: jcantone at email dot arizona dot edu.
from raygirl999 :
You have no idea how I wanted to hear those words. my boss is an asshole douche, these people like me so much that they called to hire me right after my interview an the pay is much better. Yes it is temp to hire but the amount of time it takes to train a person makes them wary to just turn people over. And I get NOTHING here. He still hasn't paid us our overtime. Asshole!
from darthuae :
I have no idea what happened to my FB account and I'm sort of relieved (whatever it was) (anyway) - astromechdroid@gmail.com - I love you.
from raygirl999 :
PW please? You can send it to my FB e-mail. Thanks doll!
from darthuae :
let me in please <3
from xnamehere :
may i get a key? (you can send it to my aim email.)
from outer-jessie :
Aw...I miss you :( Look what you did, you made me emoticon all up in here.
from doctorkaysen :
what the darn heck is this now lady you facebook me back in before i cry
from bethshort :
could you email me the password?
from shewholies :
When someone tries to contemplate darkness, I leave them paper chinese lanterns, a burial at sea.... Just wow! <3
from the-grey-one :
<3 candles.
from raven72d :
I always want to help the Lost come safe home again.
from raven72d :
I always want to send out little boats with candles to guide the Lost home...
from nerryna :
Blogging is our mahogany jewelry box with little chinese swans and pirouetting ballerinas. It is what we know, and we ink it out in these little textual pixeled boxes and hang them preciously, like sweet-sixteen pearls. >>> i love this so much. xoxo
from raven72d :
Your 01 June 13 entry is brilliant.
from theways :
''I unwrap it delicately, the way one eats sushi on a first date.'' <3
from phaythles :
5/29: I also favor talking in circles so that they are no longer sure what the fuck the topic is. Add in a few jokes so they laugh and people tend to gloss over my crazy. Its a great quirk to have :)
from the-grey-one :
thank you for tugging on my heartstrings you little fucker you! ahahhahahahhaha <3
from the-grey-one :
I teared up a little reading your last entry dude. You are such an amazing sister. A great big real bear hug to you my friend.
from cybers1ut :
okay, I lol'ed
from cybers1ut :
I am an expert in the field.
from cybers1ut :
I knew dozens of girls like the one I described growing up. Some were kinder than others, some were ruthless, others just bitchy and playing into their much-learned sexual power. These girls always clung to me. I was a "tomboy"... someone who would pay attention to them, but was also quiet and utterly non-threatening as I had no penis. They'd drag me around like those rich ladies with dogs in their purses. I was a protective buffer, a place they got to be sad when no one else was looking. We'd smoke weed or do drugs and they'd tell me their whole fucking life story. Many of them came on to me but I was so oblivious I had no idea. lol
from cybers1ut :
Nah, Loretta was cuban, and I seriously doubt she was abused. She was just a bad-ass cuban bitch. It's in the blood.
from the-grey-one :
love the ten minute poem!!!!!!
from raven72d :
Due to the whole student loan disaster, I won't have credit again 'til...well...not in what's left of this life. So I do feel for you.
from starkitten01 :
Change is always a huge adjustment. Take it from me, I'm going through it right now lol.. The good news is you do adjust : ) I am getting there, the more I settle in, the more like "home" it starts to feel. Or at least a little less alien... And thank you so much for your note about the Darian situation. I honestly still can't believe I put up with it for as long as I did. I've had toxic situations where I had no choice but to endure them until I could find ways out.. This time, it was by my CHOICE that I stayed this long, and I am really disappointed in myself for that. Thankfully I realized what she was doing to me and I knew that I had to make the right choice. It was healthier not just for me, but for her as well, because in the end she'll have to learn what she is doing to people and maybe one day she can work on her issues and have friends she can actually KEEP. *Hugs!*
from cybers1ut :
Can it be classified as drama anymore when it is just a way of functioning? I don't think so.
from xnamehere :
aww *hugs* it'll be okay, sel. whichever you choose. sometimes, we just need to slow down and take baby steps.
from astitchaway :
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's perfectly normal to be anxious about leaving, and as much as it seems like you're being a baby, I think most people (whether they admit it or not) would react the same way. It doesn't help that it was a sudden decision. But you're definitely not alone in your reaction. And more than that, you definitely need to lighten up on yourself. You're allowed to not want to do things. And yeah, you're allowed to want to throw a fit every now and then. You're only human after all. You're not an emotionless robot.
from cybers1ut :
Maybe it is more complex than simply anxiety about leaving your family?
from cybers1ut :
There's lots of southern words we use in south florida that just don't seem southern anymore when we use 'em. lol Like fixin'. I used to say that as a kid. "I'm fixin' ta... blahblahblah." I even used to say reckon as a kid. South Florida is a strange place.
from the-grey-one :
"i don't have a car or a cell phone and in this day and age, that's like just spreading your legs in the middle of a fraternity party and crossing your fingers for "just hand-holding." " hahahhaha whaaat. also <3, i know what it is to be afraid of oneself, and if i were at that fraternity party i would just hold your hand. because of that. this is getting confused. the point is. <3
from the-grey-one :
i am realizing my initial resistance to lana del ray is simply how insanely jealous i am of her talent and beauty that it almost kills the wonder of her work. thank god i can still appreciate it.
from bethshort :
Best of luck to you. I think you'll be okay. Learning to trust yourself is a process.
from raven72d :
I hope you'll always find intimacy and safety in this journal... You've been a favourite read of mine for...years and years and years.
from doctorkaysen :
and also infinite hugs for the sierra mist vs. sprite reference. "is sierra mist okay?" "IS MONOPOLY MONEY OKAY??"
from doctorkaysen :
i just looked at it and literally frowned as hard as i could and he went all "what?" and i just was all :C and then he went "oh i forgot, sorry." oh you forgot sorry. OH YOU FORGOT SORRY. then he went into walmart and i cried like a baby. OH HE FORGOT SORRY!! THEY TASTE DIFFERENT FOUNTAIN IS MUCH MORE REFRESHING, AND ALSO, THE CARBONATION IN BOTTLED POP BURNS MY THROAT. IT IS AN ICONOCLASTIC PHENOMENON MAYBE BUT THAT IS WHY I PUT IN THE REQUEST FOR FOUNTAIN DR. PEPPER!!!!
from cybers1ut :
A sci-fi game that rocks my socks is the Mass Effect series. Holy shit, so good. A medieval style game that I love to death is the Dragon Age series. Both are made by the same developer and there are five games between the two series. Skyrim is pretty great, but diverges dramatically from the old-school rpg style. Having a totally open world takes some getting used to, but once you do it is quite fun. Those are the only three games I've played in, like, ten years or so, but they are all fab. Regarding RJ's homophobic mentality, maybe y'all should explore gender identity together through books and workshops? There is a dope group called brownboi - they are specifically trans, trans*masculine, and cis-men of colour, but they have a very healthy and evolving view of masculinity that might help RJ to ease into his life as a trans man. I am, of course, going totally from your diary posts so my advice may be totally inappropriate.
from bethshort :
Have fun whatever you do.
from cybers1ut :
Oh, which RPGS? I've taken them up again over the last 6 months or so and they've certainly come a long long way from the days of Star Ocean, Phantasy Star, and Chrono Trigger. Hell, there are queer main characters!
from the-grey-one :
rpg's are the best way to escape. god speed on your adventuring!
from bethshort :
sounds like you had a good trip. sometimes it's worth it to do the work.
from cybers1ut :
Why would you argue about it? It's on wikipedia, everybody knows wikis are truefactz. I just found in interesting that depending on where you are, it has a completely different origin. Florida Crackers are pretty hardcore proud about the cracker heritage - even the scary slave whippin' shit.
from cybers1ut :
There are multiple explanations of the etymology of "cracker", most dating its origin to the 18th century or earlier. One theory holds that slave foremen in the antebellum South used bullwhips to discipline African slaves, with such use of the whip being described as 'cracking the whip'. The white foremen who cracked these whips thus became known as "crackers" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cracker_%28pejorative%29
from cybers1ut :
Got my information from Florida crackers. In Florida, it has a double meaning - cattle drivers and people who whipped slaves.
from cybers1ut :
It's origins are from white "slave drivers" that would crack the whip on slaves. So.. taking pride in that shit is... scary.
from cybers1ut :
You'd be surprised how many arrogant white people aren't conservative. In other news, I recently discovered where the term "cracker" comes from... really doesn't seem like such an insult anymore. 0_o
from lust- :
What About Bob! I loved that movie when I was a kid. Thanks for bringing that back into my mind. And, have fun on your getaway.
from bethshort :
You're adorable.
from raven72d :
Baby sloths are vur' cute! Also...red pandas.
from raven72d :
Hmmm... I'd rather be a penguin than a cat. Or a small wombat.
from astitchaway :
I think you should be proud of yourself for being without the meds. You've done a really great job pulling yourself together. And everyone's allowed a little break down once in a while. You can't be too hard on yourself should one occur. Also, I hope that the time with RJ helps the two of you, even just to get away from the chaos of life.
from secret-motel :
I imagine that going med-free takes some patience and a lot of adjustment. So, yeah, that IS a big deal. I am proud of you. Though I'm not knocking meds. Going ON them also takes some patience and a lot of adjustment. What I mean is that I'm proud and supportive of anyone who recognizes that a positive change needs to be made and takes action to make that change.
from the-grey-one :
it is a big deal! and i celebrate you.
from bethshort :
oh hugs and love to you.
from raygirl999 :
Hello lovely! I have been watching Veep, one of my fave shows, and now all I want to do is cuss and be witty. Such a wonderful life to lead...
from cybers1ut :
Ah, she had me trapped reading and listening to her music until about 4 or 5 in the morning.
from bethshort :
Oh dear PJ. I love her.
from cybers1ut :
It does in every PJ album anyway. - Personally, I am sick, depressed, stir-crazy, and trying to figure out what to do with my life while simultaneously not doing very much.
from cybers1ut :
Are you feeling so morose that you've turned to PJ? She's a great outlet for anger, as well. Although, she did have that one dreamy, happy album, didn't she? It ended in tears.
from secret-motel :
PJ is pretty great. "Rub Till It Bleeds" just came up in my itunes shuffle at work today.
from raven72d :
Indeed so! Constance is always worth consulting--- she's a delight.
from moodswing :
yes. excellent. I will. I have a tendency to accidentally purchase zucchini instead of cucumber. but I also know how to make the thickest, creamiest avocado cold soup. It can be made with cucumber instead of avocado. I don't know that I consider cold soups to be actual soup, but that's what the cookbook tells me to call it. oh god
from moodswing :
cucumber sandwiches! oh goodness. i want to tea party with you.
from raven72d :
The tea party sounds like a wonderful idea. I like cucumber sandwiches...but I have no idea what watercress even is.
from bethshort :
Hope you are okay. You can always call me. I mean that.
from bethshort :
Aw, thank you darlin' :-)
from the-grey-one :
<3,<3,<3,<3
from raven72d :
I love the Victorian summerhouse dream.
from raven72d :
I love the Victorian summerhouse dream.
from bethshort :
I love the spider poem.
from cybers1ut :
"Trust" brought up some feelings rather than concrete memories. That song'll hollow out a person.
from the-grey-one :
"some second-hand soul" maaaan. too good. too good.
from astitchaway :
That proven to be easier than I thought it was going to be.
from astitchaway :
Absolutely! *checking yes* Sorry to put you in such a tight spot with the songs :P I can't really blame you. It's hard to pick. There's so much good music out there.
from astitchaway :
My all time favorite song is Ellie Goulding's "Guns And Horses".
from raven72d :
Yeah...you should wait on the Lost Fake Teeth stories.
from the-grey-one :
man i like that song. also run. those two are my favorite of hers. so good. thanks for the love muchacho! <3
from bethshort :
Love LDR.
from astitchaway :
What are your five absolute favorite songs of all time?
from astitchaway :
Damn right! It's important to try and stay connected to yourself, and try not to take yourself for granted. You are pretty fucking cool, ya know ;)
from the-grey-one :
one day i hope to see a raccoon in real life. i too will clap my hands and squueeee
from outer-jessie :
Ninja Alfredo is my new favorite story of yours.
from cybers1ut :
I don't know if you've ever seen the show Gator Boys, but I live down the street from the park they work out of. The last time I went fishing out in the everglades it was pretty late at night and this huge fat old raccoon was knocking over the garbage cans and rummaging through the trash. He was blind, and he would grab the food, roll it around in his hands to clean it (or identify it, I'm not sure) and then eat it. I could've watched him forevs if it wasn't for the fact that I needed to pull a friggin' boat out of the water by wading into a swamp up to my waist. :/
from outer-jessie :
You don't need to put quotas and limits on yourself and what you produce. Any work is good work.
from raven72d :
Small Mongolian Ponies have been introduced to the Chernobyl exclusion zone, and they seem to be doing quite well. Once again, small, shaggy ponies lead the way.
from astitchaway :
Ha ha, you word my thoughts so much better than I could ever express. Recoil, recluse. Life. Gotta love it!
from moodswing :
chernobyl diaries was a fucking stupid movie. while i'm now wondering what it might be like to watch a movie where you want all the characters to die, but done purposely.. anyway, ugh. i had free tickets and nothing to do so i sat in a theater a few rows away from a group of young teen boys. we were the only ones there and when i'd start laughing they'd forget i was there and start screaming. now THAT was entertaining. the movie was shit.
from secret-motel :
I get kind of excited looking at pictures of Chernobyl. It's so eerie and peaceful. Too bad about the radiation. And there are many films that should be treated like Chernobyl--that is, left alone and deemed kind of exclusion zones. Anyone who attempts to remake my favorite films should succumb to radiation sickness. Their very breath should glow.
from astitchaway :
Agreed. It's so hard to try to trust people, then I do, and it's like I'm let down every time. But I know it's a part of life, and there's nothing I can do but keep trying to open myself up. It just feels like every time someone lets me down, it's a step backwards. It means a lot to me that you offer your support, I must say.
from astitchaway :
I hate all this new remake crap. The originals were all the best, why change them?!? I never understood. I'll never be on the band wagon for that!
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note :0) first smile ive had all week!
from astitchaway :
I know what you mean about "normal" people. They lack any conversational intrigue. I'd wear my pajamas anywhere as well. I don't care what other people think. It's all about comfort, and usually my pajamas are cute. I live in up in Canada, so target stores are pretty rare. I'm going to look online and see if I can order some of those ninja turtle PJ's you're bragging about though. I love the ninja turtles. Well, vintage TMNT, don't know how I feel about the new "come back" phase though. Oh, and don't feel too bad, I don't think people every truly know what their heart wants - I know I don't. I love someone, just to push them away. Then I'm sad when they go. It's a vicious cycle, but it's all about adjusting I suppose.
from raven72d :
By the way--- the 17 March 13 erotica is hot.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you have a place where you can show things and feel free to write.
from outer-jessie :
It is SO not! It's just that, well, it hit a little close to home on the fantasy front, lately. Something new for G and me to try, perhaps. ANYWAY. How's the weather? *cough*
from darthuae :
that was fucking hot. your words sent shivers down my spine, across my chest, and, well, you know. don't stop.
from outer-jessie :
Awesome. Today's selection (3/17/13) is my favorite so far.
from the-grey-one :
0_o
from astitchaway :
If we lived anywhere near each other, I'd say we need to go pajama shopping together. It would be a very weird thing to do, I think. But, well, I'm a very weird person. The target in my city does not have these ninja turtle pajamas you speak of. I must hunt for them!
from raven72d :
I'm looking forward to it. And I used to growl "Your mother sucks donkey cocks in hell!" as my favourite prank call line. And use it as a closing in business letters.
from astitchaway :
Are you kidding me?! You have ninja turtle pajamas?!?!? That is the coolest thing ever, and I am so insanely jealous!
from the-grey-one :
<3 because you make me laugh and i love you
from nerryna :
http://atwowaydream.diaryland.com/130310_99.html <--- love.
from cybers1ut :
She's very narrow period. Not at all the body type that I find attractive, but that bad attitude... *swoon
from cybers1ut :
Oh, and Naya Rivera is hot.
from cybers1ut :
I'm still catching up on Glee. I have finally gotten to the third season, and I watch it in the same way I watch True Blood. I dislike it, it sometimes genuinely pisses me off, but I cannot seem to stop myself from clicking to the next episode. And Roseanne has always been and will always be the shit. She's timeless.
from cybers1ut :
The temperature is really only terrible in the summer. Otherwise it is tolerable. Summer is... well, hellish. And, you know, we have a humidity level of about 100. The worst is hot rain. Ugh. Disgusting.
from frankie123 :
i was gonna call you moon baby but then i thought that could get weird
from outer-jessie :
Happy birthday, Sel!
from xnamehere :
aw it's your birthday? happy birthday!! <333
from famelicose :
I'm back, I'm back. Calm your shit, my love.
from raven72d :
I'm now officially afraid of Anal Bead Cheesecake.
from frankie123 :
happy birthday sel <3
from cybers1ut :
Ah, that list was composed by some white dude who hasn't (or won't) adjust to latin culture. Miami is a latin city whether folks in this country like it or not. Many of the complaints he makes are cultural - Yo, "latin time" is a real thing - two hours late is straight up on time. And yes, work places are incredibly informal (even in the finance district), latin cultures are... warmer? Friendlier? Most of the white folks I know who move to Miami love the work environments. Coffee breaks are an office wide moment of sharing (thank you colada!). But, you know, there's trade offs. Patriarchy is a fucking welcomed beast. I liked the piece because, yeah, all of that shit is true... but none of that shit is negative; it's just the way the writer perceives it. Well, except, of course, for the fact that the work is shit if there is work at all. Housing market, even in its collapse, is a fucking expensive mess. Meh. It's a lot like a spanish language mash up of New Orleans and New York. I love it here, but I had to leave my home to appreciate it.
from cybers1ut :
You could always hum Will Smith's "I'm in Miami"
from cybers1ut :
Happy birthday 'n' shit.
from astitchaway :
I forgot to add a "Happy Birthday" to my last post. Admittedly, I have no idea when it actually is, but as you've mentioned it more than once, I'm guessing today, or pretty close to today. So, happy birthday Selena!!! :)
from raygirl999 :
Oh my, did I miss your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
from astitchaway :
It's pretty rough when you feel like you're always under observation. Even worse when you feel like your privacy is compromised. It's easier to go insane than it is to grow hedgehog spikes. I hope whoever it is opening your mail stops, at least.
from cybers1ut :
Pretty okay? Bro, I'd love to have been born to a rich family and live on a ranch. Also, fuck that guy. Also, I'm pretty sure I must've suffered a mild stroke or some shit. Had a bunch of typos in this message where I typed the _wrong_ _fucking_ _words_. Ugh.
from cybers1ut :
Were you successful? Also, do hashtags work outside of twitter or have they become their own form of communication? P.S. You are now my encyclopedia for all things popculture - easier than checking wikipedia.
from cybers1ut :
You are vegan?
from raven72d :
Bio-luminescent sock puppet sharks? Yes, please!
from raven72d :
Bio-luminescent sock puppet sharks? Yes, please!
from outer-jessie :
Heck, I'd never let you go!
from astitchaway :
It's funny you would say you picture V as Dita Von Tease, cause in your previous snippets, that's exactly the image my brain was going with.
from astitchaway :
i couldn't agree more! And eeyore was my favorite too, like grumpy was my favorite carebear. i could sympathize with them far more easily than the other "happy, joyful" characters.
from raygirl999 :
Thank you for the note! You are fabulously awesome and are kicking ass as well!
from cybers1ut :
Sounds like a plan!
from cybers1ut :
And why do you get so heated over me sharing my experiences?
from cybers1ut :
Also, I was in your area for about 8 months, I had four friends, three of whom were white. But do not assume that I associated or was around white folks exclusively. Most of the people I worked with were latino or asian. Your area is hella diverse.
from cybers1ut :
If by associate you mean Eddie, then yeah. That's accurate. Everybody else I knew was "white acting" latino. Also, my ideas then about race and ethnicity as a social construct were non-existent. I have learned and grown a lot in the past ten years. Whatever I consider myself (past or present) is irrelevant to the power structure that exists in society. And a lot of my ideas of my culture and ethnicity were prejudices informed by my own hurt and hatred for my family, again, I've grown.
from bethshort :
Have fun at the cabin.
from cybers1ut :
With the exception of your middle sister, I've never met your family. And trying to imagine a bunch of white people is kind of out of the scope of my experience. Have you ever been to Miami? I know three white people. No wait... four.
from cybers1ut :
How does one speak/read white trash?
from the-grey-one :
i had never seen the 'hold on' music video before today. thank god for you selena.
from darthuae :
i love you.
from bethshort :
I always think people should meet in foreign cities...paris or berlin.
from the-grey-one :
haha, nice <3
from jimbostaxi :
Ty for the note! :0)
from the-grey-one :
more scarves indeed!
from raven72d :
Yay, large fluffy kitty!
from dangerspouse :
I guess your headache's over, huh?
from raven72d :
Yes! Delivery! I agree!
from raven72d :
I am definitely going out Saturday to look for Reese's eggs at the Big Box store. I may bring home a case or two.
from raven72d :
I'm glad to have you as one of my Nazgul, girl!
from bethshort :
You can subject me to your erotica anytime.
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note! I think the boss is decent so far. He clearly realizes that one of me is worth 1.5-2 of anyone else and he doesn't want to lose that...
from raven72d :
I love that little snippet of story!
from astitchaway :
Thank you :D I will be savoring this for sure.
from dangerspouse :
Headaches suck. Feel better. Drink.
from the-grey-one :
fuuuuck
from cherrygash :
I love driving back for your id then that old man just letting you sashay in! ha!
from bethshort :
but s&m fantasies are so hot...
from astitchaway :
It's better late than never, and I greatly appreciate the sentiment :D thank you very much.
from thruthecrowd :
huh? i got it, no worries...
from thruthecrowd :
lol...
from moodswing :
"I love my diary because I can come on here, vent, and ta-da!" I have found nothing quite like diaryland anywhere else on the internet.
from bethshort :
laughter is beautiful <3
from the-grey-one :
fleshlight. that's what i first read and i'm so sorry for it. because at the end it says 'because i'm loveable' and that made me laugh and i'm too high to be leaving you a note right now! you are totally loveable in a non-creepy fleshlight way though i assure you. okay i have to stop i feel like i'm digging my own grave with every word. 0_o
from astitchaway :
You are loveable. Extremely loveable.
from astitchaway :
Thank you for being so welcoming! I didn't expect diaryland to have such a community feel to it, but it really does. Less like having readers and more like having family. Which is incredibly comforting to me right now, being that mine is a disaster. I hope things start working out for you. In the meantime, I'll send virtual hugs: *hugs*
from astitchaway :
I really enjoy your writing. I think of writing is as a secret lover, less a secret. Writing can be complicated, and that often has nothing to do with the process, and everything to do with the reception. Sometimes it's easier to share with strangers than with the people you love.
from the-grey-one :
aweeeesome!!
from cybers1ut :
Ain't self-awareness a bitch?
from bethshort :
you are such a wonderful writer. your latest just sucked me in. and if the eagles came on at my little punk rock dive bar the hipsters would've taken care of that for me post swift. They are scary people, worse then bikers. Fire engine red nails and ice blue violet shifting eyes? Oh yes. When I am trying to thwart desire I usually think of fluffy animals or a long-term domestic situation in which I'd have to bake things on a regular basis. That turns the lust off for a second or two. Then I go back to biting the flesh on my arm...
from cybers1ut :
We should set up an AIM date.
from astitchaway :
It's shitty when people have preconceptions about who you are and why you do the things you do, or say the things you say. Why you would say rJ, not that it's anyones business. It's always been that way, and maybe it's too hard to change the way you see certain things, and that doesn't make you a bad person, or mean you have anything against all things men. Some people should just listen, and not read, because they read too much into a simple nickname that's always been that way.
from cybers1ut :
As a self-proclaimed lesbian (perhaps a flexbian?) do you feel like Ryan is the exception, do you see him as a man? I'm not attacking you, just curious. This shit is interesting.
from cybers1ut :
Though language is a living organism, ever evolving, there is no such thing as "girlfriend privilege." There IS such a thing as a passive-aggressive girlfriend and hetero-sexism and transphobia. Whether or not those are at play, I haven't a clue. In the hierarchy of capitalism, you do have privilege as a cis-gendered white woman, do you feel like that has anything to do with calling this person by RJ rather than Ryan?
from bethshort :
Yes. You know I have a soft spot for mad artists! What would the world be without them?
from cybers1ut :
I got all teary eyed when I thought the animated tiger might die. I kill people viciously in video games several times a week.
from cybers1ut :
All the movie did was reiterate to me that I care more about animals than people.
from raven72d :
I thought "Dangerous" was your middle name.
from thruthecrowd :
fb must have changed your acct access, it's not working. email me a link to you and ill friend you randomly at some point. :) right against the sky at yahoo dot com
from thruthecrowd :
Thank you. <3 One of my friends actually liked my post about me being unbelievably sick...without wishing me well. O.O I think I am beginning to think I am friends with masochistic voodoo praticers
from lust- :
I have a shirt on that says, "write drunk, edit sober" at this exact moment. It needs to be done often.
from dangerspouse :
Dammit. I keep forgetting the "Edit sober" half of the rule. Hey, thanks very much for the rockin' note at my place! Got my morning off to a smiling start :)
from raven72d :
drunken, magnetic, lovely girls--- a dangerous thing.
from bethshort :
girls are horrible creatures. so pretty and magnetic. really fucking magnetic. i love drunken poets who love--doesn't matter who or what. love is still the best poetry said that cliche to the screen.
from astitchaway :
I thank you, deeply, for your sympathies, and obviously listening ear to my plight of life. It means worlds to me, this pixel-word connection. Thank you for the hugs as well. There is an immense comfort is just the thought that someone is sending hugs my way over the wires that make up the computer.
from the-grey-one :
mazzy star!!! yes thank you. i may have lost them for good had you not mentioned them!
from raven72d :
Geisha dreams and non-opium dens... I like that.
from astitchaway :
I can't tell you how flattering it is that you read my silly little journal. But I can tell you that it makes my day to know someone, anyone, can relate to how I feel. :)
from bethshort :
Barsexually Bi-Sexual girls are Cuntacularly twatwaffular. I am more hetero-leaning sure. But you know part of me thinks I am just obsessed with breasts and lips...
from lust- :
Thanks, love.xo
from raven72d :
I could never live with anyone... After all these years solo, I'm weirdly obsessive about privacy...
from theways :
i'm catching up with diaries, and every time i read yours i'm like, giiiirl, you oughta write a book
from starkitten01 :
Thinking of you, just wanted to say Hi. *Hugs*
from the-grey-one :
hahaha. i definitely remember the old 3-way call. i was always worried some terrible consequence would befall me for doing it. maybe i thought it was illegal or something. such a thrill. also sometimes i get into hockey. like crosby's golden goal, i rode that wave, and it was awesome.
from cybers1ut :
Yeah, Girls sounds infuriating.
from cybers1ut :
I don't know what Girls is. Actually, I don't know what most of the pop culture references you make are. I don't watch much tv, and before I moved to help my parents, I watched none at all. Hell, I only discovered Glee last month. Clue me in?
from pridegrl :
That Nala most likely unconditionally loves your little silly-fuck ass too. ;) Makes me miss my dog - her 75 pounds of silly stubborn mush would be hogging the bed, and I'd be letting her too ... because those pathetic puppy dog eyes really friggin work on me every.goshdarn.time.
from raven72d :
That you recall the Tall Man from Phantasm is brilliant.
from cymbals :
i'm writing a paper on epistolary novels/diary fiction at the moment, quasi inspired by all of us here on diaryland. sylvia plath wrote her diaries with a memoir in mind, but gave herself leave to toss the pages in the fire down the line, though it didn't come to that (obviously). so now we're just left with her unedited diary, which might even be better since it was recorded in the moment. anyway, its an impulse that's been around since the 18th c. (public diaries) and i'm glad cause i like reading yours.
from the-grey-one :
<3
from astitchaway :
I don't trust most people either, so I under your suspicion. Not to mention I do just seem crazy messaging you randomly :) I couldn't help it though. Your journal makes me feel less alone/less crazy, because you feel so many things I feel. I just had to message you.
from astitchaway :
I'm nobody, I suppose. I just came to diaryland to make an account, but saw they didn't have the access open, anymore. I decided to browse the blog on the "recent public entries" section since I was here anyways, and after digging through a couple blogs, yours caught my eye. If I explained why, you would probably think I'm crazier than I'm sure you already think I am.
from astitchaway :
This is going to sound insanely stalkerish, but, I found your blog last month, and I've gone back and read all your entries over the years. I feel like I was there with you for everything. You just have a way with words, and I just fell in love with your writing. I just wanted to let you know.
from raven72d :
I love the way you are with your younger siblings. I love it that you do care and offer up real support and encouragement.
from bethshort :
good luck with the prozac. i've been coming off cymbalta slowly and am off it now. i had some strange, sad days. but you'll be okay. and i think you are wonderful friend, my world would be less beautiful without you in it.
from cherrygash :
:)
from bethshort :
hugs to you. domestic life is stiffling and people can pick up after themselves and talk less mess. two arms, two hands, one mouth. yes. hugs to you.
from doctorkaysen :
baby you can pick a fight with me and ill just be like "selena quit being a bitch" and i'll show up at your house to watch a reese witherspoon movie and you'll be like "go away" and i'll be like "no" because that's a true friend.
from raven72d :
you did once call me at one in the morning, but I'm totally okay with that.
from cherrygash :
Maybe your cat is named Gus though, opps!
from cherrygash :
In Cinderella the cat was named Lucifer, the mouse was Gus. :P
from raven72d :
Robt. Shaw was brilliant in "Jaws".
from lust- :
A live conversation would be lovely. =)
from lust- :
Yes! If we combine our hopes for a beer tent and send it out to the Universe, I'm sure it'll happen. Or, I could always smuggle some rum in. Hmm..
from illusionless :
Will do. Sorry I missed you.
from kll :
Sounds like a blast. Pretty sure if I was to open a dusty box at the bottom of the pile I would find the first book in that series from my elementary school days. The new Evil Dead looks interesting too, btw.
from u-saved-me :
thank-you darlin
from cybers1ut :
I am a wealth of useless knowledge and free resources when it comes to anime and manga. Holler at me and let me know if there are genre preferences, etc. I could give you a more comprehensive list. I've got 17 years of anime and manga cataloged in my head but can't remember math to save my life. So sad.
from cybers1ut :
I misspoke when I called Mushi-shi a period piece. It is set in the past, but is a show regarding the supernatural. THIS is a period piece. Shigurui is a brutal portrayal of the lives of samurai during the fall of the shogunate. It is set in a samurai dojo, and is a bit... gut-wrenching. Fuckin' amazing series. http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/shigurui-episode-1-online#English
from cybers1ut :
And then these are some of my recent personal favs, but are not shoujo: (Durarara is an action series with some really bizarre elements) http://www.crunchyroll.com/durarara (Natsume Yujin-Cho is a lovely series about a boy who sees spirits) http://www.crunchyroll.com/natsume-yujin-cho (Mushishi is a period piece and would be difficult to describe, but is easily one of my absolute fav series) http://www.hulu.com/mushi-shi (Ergo Proxy is beautifully drawn, post apocalyptic futuristic violent shit you'll probably like) http://www.hulu.com/ergo-proxy (Red Garden is an action/horror series; love it) http://www.hulu.com/red-garden (Paradise Kiss is one your sister will probably love. It is from the same woman who wrote the Nana series. This one follows the lives of fashion design students.) http://anilinkz.com/series/paradise-kiss
from cybers1ut :
They animated the series with the trans kids: http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/hourou-musuko-online And they animated the series with the highschool lesbians (but did not complete either; the mangas are better) http://www.animefront.com/aoi-hana-episode-1/ There is also a great shoujo series your sister will dig: http://www.crunchyroll.com/hanasaku-iroha
from cybers1ut :
FREE scanlated lesbo-shoujo for you and your little sister. :x They have a bunch of cutesy teenage love stories (and a few adult ones mixed in there). Queer up her reading! There is a manga series about a couple of trans kids and their experiences growing up. It is delicately handled and beautifully drawn. Would probably be great for your little sister, hell, I loved it. http://mangafox.me/manga/hourou_musuko/ http://mangafox.me/manga/aoi_hana/ http://dynasty-scans.com/reader/ http://www.lililicious.net/
from the-grey-one :
jane eyre is always a good read. here is a comic "http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=202"
from akasha90 :
you're so right! i bought an ereader myself because books stores in my area are closing and the ones that are still open only have either local books or spanish translations of popular books. i have to wait a while to have them shipped, but i realized i prefer the wait because it's really not even close to owning a book. i like pages as well. i like buying something that really is mine and being able to lift it out of a shelf and admire the cover's artwork. ereaders could never replace real books.
from raven72d :
I'd never have survived childhood without books. Books--- tangible objects, books to hold and savor ---are my world.
from raven72d :
Have you tried the Kristin's Archives website? They have genre erotica for every taste...
from thruthecrowd :
your entry instantly reminded me of this: http://my.ilstu.edu/~jriding/text/p.100.htm
from secret-motel :
Vaginas are awesome.
from raven72d :
almonds....hmmm.... Never delete your browser history. Flaunt it.
from secret-motel :
The sandbox at my elementary school was always full of hot lava. We had to someone make imposible leaps from the slide to the monkey bars to the balance beams or to the other weird metal shit they had in that sandbox. It occurs to me now that if the sand really was hot lava, then all that metal shit would've melted or at least would've burned the fuck out of us when we touched it. Dumb me and my dumb friends!
from the-grey-one :
that's the one! yes i knew it had a good title.. the fourth kind. also maybe your moms got a thing for will smith?
from the-grey-one :
i know right? i remember being so excited for that.. one.. with the pyschiatrist.. and the.. oh man i can't think what it is called at all. either way, good alien movies are hard to come by. rare treats.
from frankie123 :
three hours now! thanks :) you are pretty great, too
from raven72d :
Well, Heaven's Gate rejected me, too.
from raven72d :
Absolutely. Three Years Old--- forever.
from cybers1ut :
You are UP from me. Can't get any farther south than Florida, yo.
from raven72d :
I so need to be Three Years Old again. This time, no growing up. Always Three. With many stufflings.
from cybers1ut :
That's a damn shame. Time to leave the house!
from cybers1ut :
You know chinese people have vegan foods, right?
from raven72d :
everyone needs a cat named Gus.
from cymbals :
seriously, that line was gold! i am dread-dread-dreading january's credit card statement.
from the-grey-one :
"If you think all you're going to need is love, then you're going to have a bad time." hehe oh selena. you are the coolest.
from raven72d :
He's fitting in very well and is making friends with all the stufflings.
from raven72d :
Thanks for so much this year, darling. You're a dear and important friend.
from the-grey-one :
you're doing right by her, no worries. besides if you don't get to miss out on adult activities when you're young, what do you have to look forward to? jizzed up teddy-bears are something she can look forward to now. hooray
from secret-motel :
Your little sister is lucky to have someone like you that gives a shit and wants to shelter her. That's what an older sibling is for, right? I kinda fell (jumped) off the earth and stayed that way for the last few days, but an email is coming soon.
from kll :
Truth? I own more sonic screwdrivers than I am willing to admit.
from samcorday :
good choice watching Dr Who! Merry christmas to you!
from raygirl999 :
*hugs* to you! Thanks. Bitter bitter me is happy that things are going to shit as well and those lazy assholes don't know how to fix it. Yay!
from the-grey-one :
hahaha! thanks selena, muchos love muchacha !
from cybers1ut :
gchat?
from cybers1ut :
The workshop is two and a half hours long, that quick questionnaire primes people for the rest of the content. The first question regarding lead and African American youth tends to fuck everybody who hears it up immediately. The rest of the 2 and a half hours are just downhill, by the end people are in tears. The world we live in fucking sucks, and it's oppressive motherfuckers with names and addresses that make it so.
from cybers1ut :
Ya know what really makes you want to shirk this mortal coil? A job in electoral politics. -_-
from cybers1ut :
Want to get a pulse of where this nation is truly at? Hit the internet. People don't have the gall to be as honest in their lives.
from cordeliameg :
Thank you for your kind words. You keep writing too, okay? I always look forward to your entries. You have a way with words; so real and captivating.
from cybers1ut :
Also, I know you do not have borderline, but this therapy would truly help anyone with emotional regulation issues. Helps to give you tools to fight back any emotion - including depression. It is typically a two year program, but I'm sure there are other options if you're interested. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy
from cybers1ut :
Getting off of meds is the worst. Ugh. I'd love to give you some life altering advice, but it just sucks. Took more than a month for my body to get back into some semblance of a routine, coke was easier. Meh.
from famelicose :
chut up :x
from bethshort :
I knew something was up. I know the feeling, I truly do. Some days the best I can do is keep from bleeding all over everyone else. I got told recently, "You will be fighting the trainwreck all your life." True. Very true. I can fight hard though right? That's all I think anyone can do. Control, any control we think we have is an illusion anyway.
from the-grey-one :
birdie! my goodness if that isn't just darling..
from cybers1ut :
Also, LOL at your last post.
from cybers1ut :
Replaced by grey and dismal. What's the difference, really? Got tired of the contrast.
from xnamehere :
your dad sounds eerily just like my dad. >_> my deepest sympathies babe.
from raven72d :
When you come home, only speak in a thick Scots accent for the first week. Refuse to explain.
from the-grey-one :
i always seem to be the first person who is ready to go home, and always the last person who is capable of getting there. i feel ya.
from doctorkaysen :
GOD THAT IS PRECIOUS. KITTENS.
from the-grey-one :
"the mother-fetish that broke the serial killer's back." hahahaha oh man.
from moodswing :
"Your mom, that's who." Yeah, I like you
from cybers1ut :
Coke, gross. That shit is bad for you, much like fucked up fathers. And we've had more in common than those fuckers anyway.
from lust- :
Have a safe (road)trip!
from bliss-sad :
Your words make me feel understood!
from frankie123 :
nov 25: you're kind of the greatest, selena
from theend :
yeah, i'm not such a fan of it either. but i appreciate it.
from cybers1ut :
Yo, both of our fathers are (very)slowly dying. Twinsies!
from raven72d :
Happy holiday, beautiful!
from samcorday :
privacy is my biggest issue as well, i know what it's like to love your parent but be driven utterly insane by them as well :/
from cordeliameg :
American Horror Story. Love it! Zachary Quinto makes everything better.
from kll :
Aw, I wasn't trying to be mean or anything. I just have a bizarre sense of humour that is easily offensive. I think you got that? No harm, right? The part two is that I find steam-punk more bizarre than sex-change. But I respect all personal life choices, except monogamy. No, I'm joking about that too. You'll have to take what I say with a grain of salt (or ounce of semen.)
from moodswing :
blog crushes. it's true. I do it a lot. but I fall in love with everyone.
from the-grey-one :
radiohead and spiders in one entry. <3
from moodswing :
agreed. I wish they'd discontinue the brands instead of selling them (because Twinkies aren't actually going anywhere) and then when people wanted snack cakes, they could just eat a goddamn cupcake like a real human.
from the-grey-one :
"I want to see the white of her shoulders streaked with my bite marks," daaang girl.
from kll :
IMDB also shares with me a classic quote from Kevin Smith. Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent? [reads the cover to Randal's videotape] Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"? Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame. Dante Hicks: And you rented this? Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.
from kll :
Now if Jungle.com would just start honouring pre-orders and stop fucking packing my records like shit so they break in transit! Transgender... I thought society was cool with that since 1985's break-out educational comedy classic "Just One Of The Guys" and 1993's "Anything For Love." That reminds me, remember the Edison Twins?
from kll :
Congratulations are indeed in order. Amazon keeps making it easier to fuck me in the ass :P
from frankie123 :
oh my god i know this is your personal writing space and all but you really need to warn a girl before divulging such spoilers! PS i might possibly be the only person in the world who actually likes the character lorrie. i feel sad.
from kll :
I make terrible mistakes all the time. Carl is the boy's name. And I hate him too. Even in the comic book, and yet he keeps coming back for more. Kinda like that Mean Girl.
from kll :
If it makes you feel any better, the young boy Jake gets shot in the face later in the comic books.
from secret-motel :
I'm sure the spewing is temporary. The long-term benefits of giving up smoking are worth it. I'm rooting for you, Selena.
from raven72d :
"serious" entry...yes.
from bliss-sad :
Gay boy friends are the BEST! There's nobody better to talk you out of a pair of gold hot pants quite like your swishy better half!
from cordeliameg :
I'll have to lend you one of my gay boyfriends sometime. ha.
from thruthecrowd :
our parents are a lot alike, huh?
from raven72d :
Jordan is cute and fun.
from samcorday :
haha Jurassic Park smh :P.....and yea family's are just The powers that be way of confusing and frustrating the hell out of you. you love them, you hate them, but the biggest feeling is guilt that you love yourself more to want to get away from them to keep your sanity.
from the-grey-one :
that jurassic park clip is golden. perfect use of it, if i do say so myself. brava, selena, brava.
from raven72d :
I like the song, too.
from raven72d :
I pretty much already did last night, darling.
from raven72d :
You know me so well, Selena...
from famelicose :
I wish we could, too.
from raven72d :
Loved the Paranormal Activity 4 entry!
from samcorday :
hey....at least you didn't ingest it lol...spring for a mask next time :)
from thruthecrowd :
I bet you threw up, bleach was used as a weapon in WWI, and it is bad enough when diluted...:-(
from samcorday :
it's funny how some people reduce you to a quivering mess esp when you think you've all but banished the demons they had introduced into your life. u are strong....he can't hurt you and scar you anymore.
from taken-by-you :
I don't log in much anymore... but since I did today, I wanted to leave you a note to tell you how beautiful you are in both mind and body. I'm glad that we can keep up with each other outside of this site, and am glad that we met through it. <3
from cordeliameg :
And my hands are shaky most of the time, so a Jenga match between us would be a trip!
from the-grey-one :
"Wanting a lot of milk, perhaps." hehe. Dude, LOVED, the story! more more more!
from the-grey-one :
you are a rubix cube and the later the night gets the harder it can be to put you together. still though, bright, colorful with a lot of movement. you're good times.
from swallowthkey :
please write your memoirs someday. also if you haven't read it already, find lidia yuknavitch's "chronology of water". i think you will be able to appreciate a lot of it.
from samcorday :
forget 5-hour energy which is shit. might i suggest raw guarana (trust me it isn't as horrible as it sounds!) i used to put half a teaspoon into anything i was drinking twice a day. biology and biochemistry labs suck ass when you're going on 3 hours of sleep. the guarana was a great pickmeup. might work for you if you want to try it
from xnamehere :
i know right?! jeebus. i have never tried to knit in a dream... methinks i would go on a tree-bombing spree. :) oh, lucidity, i shall have you.
from cordeliameg :
Love, love, love your diary. And you have an entry about playing Jenga, which automatically makes you cool.
from raven72d :
breakfast in bed... yes.
from frankie123 :
i feel so wonderfully immoral reading your diary in the middle of my theodicy lecture
from doctorkaysen :
oh jesus christ on a fucking cracker your writing is awesome. write a book now so I can buy it you whore.
from the-grey-one :
the vignette was awesome :)
from xnamehere :
yes. that song is most definitely about butt sex. good times. i recommend trying it at least once with someone who will indeed take it easy.. or rather, *ahem* give it easy. ;P
from raven72d :
"High Art"... Radha Mitchell... *sigh*...
from doctorkaysen :
spoiled princess solidarity!
from famelicose :
I would love to read your lesbian erotica if you ever wanted to share. It's on my list of things I am really in to.
from raven72d :
write, write, write.... i want to read your stories.
from movingsands :
im sorry your day was not so good, but boy did I laugh at your post
from raven72d :
Slippery...or enigmatic ?
from raven72d :
do write erotica. or any stories. i'd love to read what you write.
from xnamehere :
holy shit, sel. ya... sometimes i have dreams like that... well not all thaaaat, but i do get the occasional ogre chasing me around with his woody hanging out. this is why i MUST achieve lucidity. i need to be able to take charge and not get mind-raped in my goddam dreams. my dreeeams!!
from thruthecrowd :
hehe, that reminds me of this crazy lady in 1st grade who used to say, very minnie-mousey, "don't you frown, turn that frown upside-down" and she would make this U shape in the air with her hands and then smile... :P
from xnamehere :
well you could just eat it... that tends to work pretty well.
from thruthecrowd :
with how bad it tastes, I'm not sure I would want to try that. :P
from the-grey-one :
oh, lady <3
from famelicose :
It is definitely the one I am most acclimated to. That or the quasi-emotion of disparity.
from raven72d :
I never eat cheese at all, but I am very good at instant miso soup.
from raven72d :
song? do tell... send it along!
from raven72d :
Wuff! You make me feel like a vur' pettable and happy little long-eared desert hedgehog.
from the-grey-one :
thanks for the note dear friend. also i randomly am sending this to you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpQA6DAlgWk&feature=fvst
from pridegrl :
LOL! i suppose we have something in common, a few things perhaps. ;) nice to see you were paying attention, lol.
from raygirl999 :
well i went through a period where I had to delete half the people I knew on FB and just went into hiding. Things are better now. You ca refriend me if you like!
from raygirl999 :
Her mom just stood there and looked at me. I'm like, bitch check your demon spawn!
from raven72d :
Do you feel more Mae or May?
from raygirl999 :
Hello. So good to hear from you! I am teetering on the brink between being OK and going off the deep end again. For now, I am doing OK though and every day I make it, is another day I put in the win column.
from raven72d :
At least you didn't say Haircut 100
from raven72d :
I do hope my charm lasts.
from raven72d :
I have a flat zero credit rating, so I can't move or get a car. I'm thinking of Kyrgyzstan as the last place where I can go to find a life.
from famelicose :
Be my roommate.
from famelicose :
It is part of the human condition, my darling.
from the-grey-one :
oh man secret-motels comment made me laugh! do it selena! do it.... and hey i will always await your return!
from englishsucks :
a strap on part had me choke on milk and laughing!
from famelicose :
Your break did not last long. I'm glad he found the dildo, that'll teach him a thing or two about life.
from secret-motel :
You should start having dildos sent in the mail.
from the-grey-one :
i await your return!
from bethshort :
happy break.
from famelicose :
Thanks. It is hard and it does suck. I'm not sure what I am going to do with myself. Hardly anything seems worth it anymore.
from bethshort :
your latest is really beautiful.
from raven72d :
damn it, i want a video store with popcorn and a tiny arcade!
from tobehis :
Found your diary through the "recent public entries box" ...and I have to agree, I'm totally bummed about all the video rental stores going out of business. I mean, Redbox is awesome, but sometimes I want to watch "old" movies that Redbox doesn't have, and I'm not technologically smart enough (or don't want to pay the money enough) to do Netflix or something like that. So yeah. I feel ya. :-P
from xnamehere :
shut up, sel! no grow up! hmph.
from raven72d :
Real doggies make good FB friends, too.
from bethshort :
my lj name is mydahliadear
from frankie123 :
if you die i will die after you and in the afterlife (which is just like current life, probably, except everybody's translucent and prone to stretching their vowel sounds and fond of victorian fashion), my ghost will have an online diary with the notes feature turned off for a reason she can't even remember, and you will suffer eternal agony for all your unsharable sentiments, i guess, your ghost will have to kill herself then my ghost will follow suit and the pattern will repeat itself an infinite times, a 'too much' number of times, which would be dizzying for the infinite number of parties involved, a googol of people who are really just you and me, imagine all the ghost headaches, the ghost vertigo -- i hope you can see that it's probably best if you don't kill yourself
from raven72d :
I always take FB's suggestions to friend stufflings. Stufflings make great friends.
from the-grey-one :
ohman. i was like "aww, sel.." and then i burst out laughing. let's make it literal. oh man. but for'reals i love you. *internet hug of support*
from frankie123 :
like two weeks ago i drunk-bought SEVENTY BOOKS online all at once because god am i greedy and weak; today i went into a bookstore and bought six more (USED, at least), but man what a problem it is, fiscally
from heavensblue :
great entry, love the soccer pillow chat, epic
from the-grey-one :
i think i'll go rock out some glee karaoke and sing and cry like a maniac at the same time as i slowly wrap the microphone cord around my neck for some light choking..
from theways :
<3
from cymbals :
i love reading things that make me think, this person is exactly the same kind of weird as me. <3
from raven72d :
Geriatric massage fetishists... A niche fetish I hadn't thought about.
from moodswing :
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FAT WE ALL SOUND RIGHT NOW" .. I want to use that. All the time
from raven72d :
The world is a heartbreaking place. But the stufflings and I will be there for you.
from xnamehere :
hey sweets, it was a very nice trip, but i fear i may be moving back there soon which makes me a little sad.. *sigh* loong story. but i've been meaning to catch you and i apologize for taking forever to reply. so now i will compensate with some more dandelion fuzz... because aim is lame and won't let me send you an offline im... http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxrsc04t7C1qkd4dho1_500.gif
from doctorkaysen :
Brad's a total douche name anyway. All the jerks in high school movies are named Brad. Totally apt.
from doctorkaysen :
duh durr! inlethaldoses is your email right? im sending you the password an stuff.
from the-grey-one :
glee can be quite soothing when in need of it. also it's fun to watch when you're on the rag. i just start crying over every little song... you're a very good big sister. <3
from famelicose :
I'm glad we are still friends, my darling.
from deflective :
You're an awesome sister.
from raven72d :
I love reading about you and fruit punches and about buying books for Little Ones.
from raven72d :
I am sorry to hear about your dad, but I know you'll be there for your little sister--- and if she needs to be walked down the aisle, you'll be there to do it.
from illusionless :
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. That's rough no matter what the relationship between you. You are a fighter!
from outer-jessie :
You are amazing. It may not be much consolation, but there is something truly beautiful about using your dad's legacy to survive his loss.
from thruthecrowd :
I am about $85 poorer after Amazon shopping and due to lack of Ben & Jerry's (As that would require me to leave the house) I substituted Jelly Belly Beans and a huge cookie (which I have here). I feel a little better to know I am not alone... :-
from raven72d :
Thank you very muchly, Selena!
from raven72d :
You do exist. And knowing you're here at D-Land matters. I always think of you as on of my intended readers.
from lust- :
Yeah! So crazy. Sent my imagination into overdrive. I have the tendency to think 'normal' people are aliens, walking among us. I may be a little fucked. Hah.
from lust- :
Re: Aliens &abductions. Have you seen 'The Fourth Kind'?
from moodswing :
these things you write about remind me so much of the years ago i thought i would never get free
from outer-jessie :
My sister's vibrator...is in my sock drawer. I can see this traumatizing me for years.
from bliss-sad :
"In Writing--7/10" hit me so hard! I feel like that regarding my father's opiate addiction and it's so fucking frustrating. Being in your head for a moment makes me feel much less alone, abnormal, dysfunctional and insane.
from raven72d :
I want to be in other times and other worlds and lives.
from famelicose :
never take anything seriously.
from raven72d :
I really hate people who abuse their pets, and I hate the people who run puppy mills. I've always had pets who meant the world to me, and I hate seeing them abused...or just put down when they're inconvenient.
from thruthecrowd :
even out of context Tori Amos would rule :)
from raven72d :
You must also read Clay Carmichael's little "Bear" books. They're wonderful.
from raven72d :
i love random, drunk Tori Amos postings.
from thruthecrowd :
Drunk Tori Amos postings will always make me smile.
from moodswing :
i enjoyed it. the drunk tori posting, not that movie. i almost came home and did the same thing.
from moodswing :
re: horror movies. that's how I felt about Chernobyl Diaries. I don't watch a lot of horror because I get creeped easily, but that movie was a joke. a long, sad, unfunny joke
from lust- :
Loved the pinup post! You got this. Work your ass on! I would say 'off' but I know you want a great ass. It shall be yours. Haha.
from thruthecrowd :
heh...I can do either/or/and too. It's good to know I'm not alone. ;-)
from doctorkaysen :
yesssssssss ♥♥
from famelicose :
Our asses ARE fabulous.
from secret-motel :
Mr. Watson is a lucky raptor.
from raven72d :
I'll take a look at "Sharp Objects".
from the-grey-one :
*you* mean a lot to me
from famelicose :
<3
from doctorkaysen :
i am trying to stalk you and you are seriously way harder to stalk than i imagined. or maybe i am just used to being easy to stalk idk I WANNA FRIEND YOU
from doctorkaysen :
"I posted a picture of me in the previous post because I am terribly insecure and need constant validation, no matter where it comes from." WE ARE ALREADY SOUL SISTERS I KNOW IT.
from doctorkaysen :
you're babely. i also identify as pansexual. i knew i liked pan flutes as a kid but it wasn't until my teen years that i found out there was a word for what i felt. after that, life made more sense.
from raven72d :
Is Gone Girl worth reading?
from outer-jessie :
Freaking awesome. Your mom is Edith.
from moodswing :
pay as you go phones! the greatest.
from xnamehere :
aww babe you had me at dandelion fuzz ;) <333
from the-grey-one :
i'mma stick it out to the end
from raven72d :
i never liked locked diaries.
from darthuae :
that 'light switch' entry just drove me internally mad. "Light switch friends." i love you i love you i love you. and i've missed you so much. x
from secret-motel :
My hotmail is being not-so-hotmail. I just tried sending a couple of responses to your email but I'm not sure they went through. Everything kept freezing up. If you didn't get them, I will re-craft and re-send once hotmail has simmered down or, um, heated up.
from pridegrl :
Lucas Selveira - "funny faces" are definitely hot. definitely. nice find.
from the-grey-one :
light switch touched my heart. you're a beautiful girl selena, i'm so happy to know you.
from nessus :
I've been feeling something similar lately. I see these other people around me who've had these experiences and I feel like I've missed out, even though I don't even necessarily believe they would have been *pleasant* experiences, I feel like that texture is missing from my life.
from doctorkaysen :
thank you. that was so sweet <3 ehearts to you always
from illusionless :
lol that is true! Thanks. :D
from illusionless :
Well, she's a lesbian herself and married. I think she's got all the guidance she needs.
from akasha90 :
i really can't stand girls who do that either...
from raven72d :
What's happened to make you want to escape?
from illusionless :
School girls do that??? How incredibly stupid and offensive! I can't believe that! Wow.
from raven72d :
As small corgis say: "Wuff!"
from raven72d :
As small corgis say: "Wuff!"
from raven72d :
Being a faux-giver of stufflings is cruel. Every stuffling deserves a stable forever home.
from lust- :
My wallet says similar things to me on a daily basis.
from raven72d :
I miss the original TMNT and once had TMNT stufflings.
from xnamehere :
mmm tmnt jammies. i demand pics (or it didn't happen.)
from xnamehere :
so in love with that movie... still. aisling is my alter ego. ^^
from raven72d :
I must learn how to make hearts.
from frankie123 :
<3
from raven72d :
i so hope your small iPod returns.
from xnamehere :
haha, this is why i'm not allowed expensive gadgets like ipods. my phone endures enough.
from illusionless :
So you are looking for the butchiest, butch that ever butched eh Selena? ;D
from raven72d :
You are awesome. And subspace isn't a bad place to be. it's all just about finding the right shadows.
from secret-motel :
"So I put my cigarette out, waited for these tweens to start singing again, and shouted as loud as I possibly could: 'You suck!'" You are so awesome, Selena!
from the-grey-one :
we had mice in our house once. little mice though. did you know there are no rats in alberta? it's illegal to have a rat... anyways. i absolutely insisted on humane traps. we'd set them free in a field. they were then probably eaten by hawks. i feel for you.
from nicim :
re: Spring Cleaning. Move from a 7500 sf house to a 650 sf apartment. You would be amazed how easy it is to put it on Ebay. At least it gets a home with someone willing to pay for it. And it DOES get easier every time the mailman comes to the door!
from raven72d :
I so want a Raptor plushie!
from thruthecrowd :
I still have my Nintendo games I've had since age 10 too, and the Nintendo itself. :) And everything everyone has ever given me as a child, and anyone who really cares...even chestnuts given to me at age 6 by a girl I barely knew and only vaguely remember what she looks like. As a fellow sentimental item collector of non-hoader status, I concur with 'more bookshelves'...<3
from deflective :
Don't ever dispose of the unicorn meat, the high sparkle content attracts garbage foraging leprechauns.
from illusionless :
No I haven't. Thanks for the tip.
from secret-motel :
Except that a guppy rides a bicycle better than a two-year-old bowls.
from doctorkaysen :
I'D NEVER DEFRIEND YOU FROM DIARYLAND
from illusionless :
I don't mind getting lots of notes. Write away Selena. :)
from raven72d :
Small, long-eared desert hedgehogs are always vur' loyal.
from secret-motel :
I would, but I always land on the error page when I click on Diaryland Chat. I don't know how to make it WORK! I'm so lame, Selena!
from secret-motel :
To hell with that facebook twat. It may be little consolation, but I've added you a second time to my buddy list.
from the-grey-one :
quite enjoyed the latest post ;)
from raven72d :
I don't think I've ever de-friended anyone at FB who hasn't done something actively hostile--- and that means almost no one. FB and D-Land are where so many of the people I trust and like are--- and those places are a respite from the daily world.
from nicim :
4-25-12 Watch Wall-E. It is not sad at all. It has a sense of uplifting wonder about it and could be just right for insomnia nights (I know them oh so well)
from xnamehere :
i think after toy story 2 it all went numb.
from nessus :
"Up" is sadder than Wall-E.
from lust- :
Your writings always leave such funny mental images in my mind. It's quite nice. Also, started watching Game of Thrones. Love it so far! Glad your sister is getting in to it as well!
from darthuae :
i miss this.
from secret-motel :
re: Books. I am the same way, if a borrowed book becomes an extended loan. I start to get antsy and pretty damn irritated. What irritates me even more, is if they keep it for almost forever and don't even read the damn thing. I become very conscious and uncomfortable with that little cavity on my book shelf. The world is not right until that cavity is filled.
from frankie123 :
coincidentally note the little smug smirk next to the machine and the shocked face of surprise/horror that's next to the human
from frankie123 :
machine:1 human:0
from the-grey-one :
that cat makes me worry that my cat is going to off himself
from the-grey-one :
hahaa good times, good times
from starkitten01 :
People like the "mom" from the Jc Penny's entry are what baffles me at why in this life someone like *that* can have tons of kids and neglect them, but someone like me cannot have just one.. I hope you're feeling better, and hope you had a happy Easter. *Hugs*
from raven72d :
I so want you to write Selena's Guide To Correct Social Behaviour. The world needs this, darling.
from doctorkaysen :
the feeling is mutual! <3
from doctorkaysen :
i could probably compile an anthology of his work.
from star-brite :
i know the feeling, you are welcome to run away to spain with me =] or maybe you'll opt for something less drastic, either way, go for it!
from secret-motel :
WHAT a coincidence! I've been craving a bitter row of burned children. I have a nice Napa cabernet to go with it.
from thruthecrowd :
I need to get a treadmill...*hugs*
from secret-motel :
I want hoochie-mama pix!
from frankie123 :
oh shucks
from akasha90 :
thanks for your note. no, it's not all north americans. a lot of them are very nice, but since i work for a cruise ship, a lot of them are the very uptight and conservative types.
from evanelle :
As soon as i get the text i will reply.
from deflective :
I'll try not to, but I can't make any promises.
from lust- :
I was patiently waiting for you to unlock your diary so I could read your words again. For some reason, didn't feel the need to ask for your password when it was locked. Glad to be reading again! Hope your weekend's been lovely.xo
from raven72d :
Your high school stories could be fascinating.
from pridegrl :
wow, so i'm like sort of an ass. i just checked my email inbox from a rarely used (apparently only for DLand kind of stuff)email address and there it was, ... your reply. mmmph, my apologies. <3
from raven72d :
Small T. rex friends waiting patiently while you hand out Oreo truffles... I love that image.
from the-grey-one :
miss you! <3
from raven72d :
It's back--- I finally got a Sunday entry posted. And I love finding notes from you at my entries.
from akasha90 :
thanks for the note. oh, i can relate so much to the entry you posted on saturday.
from raven72d :
Get a cell phone. With a Hello Kitty case.
from the-grey-one :
let's be grateful you could also go into the bathroom. how curious that the kitchen was off limits. also i cant imagine what a fit your father would have if he knew you were throwing away such things! how terribly interesting.
from secret-motel :
"I need to know more about this dismembered child, so stop being selfish and give me the gory details about the way she was spliced, and leave your goddamn vagina out of it." You are so awesome!
from raygirl999 :
I honestly wish I was exaggerrating her terribleness. if anything I underplay it because it's ridiculous. Like sabotaging me, not paying the bills, being gross, having her cat shit everywhere and not cleaning it. Bugs, blood on the toilet and floor. Just gross and nasty. Anyway, sweet dreams haha, I am going to bed!
from raygirl999 :
I AM FROM TEXAS! All promised are really challenges to my (wo)manhood!!!! My roommate has made me so made I am replying to sketchy postings on Craigslist. NOT PORN more like "help me cheat the IRS for $50." Ummm OK!
from raygirl999 :
Of course I got the naughty way first, then the TV show way, and then finally the normal way hahaha.
from raygirl999 :
I can honestly say writing about this moron makes me feel much better. She is so dumb and annoying and threatened by me. She sucks. I rule. YOU rule. We are awesome. The end.
from raven72d :
Happy Valentine's to you and to all clever raptors and gentle T. rexes!
from xnamehere :
yeah i've had my share of losing your shit nightmares which can be rough on someone who loves sleep as much as i do. i used to have a reoccurring one that entailed being chased by a psychotic abraham lincoln. *shudders* still kinda fucks with me to this day... no joke. lincoln's a scary fucker when he's chasing you through an abandoned trailer while flashes of lightning illuminate his boney face.
from pridegrl :
idk, i sent you an email somewhere. never heard back and then was sad. glad to see you're here again, yay. ;)
from illusionless :
Ha ha that's one of the reasons why I deleted my Facebook last year.
from raygirl999 :
ahhh FB fights awesomeness. FYI I HATE the timeline ugh.
from xnamehere :
regarding the nightmare, awww... *HUGS*
from raven72d :
Get a small robot raptor and program to like and protect you.
from raven72d :
Sanrio makes the coolest things.
from the-grey-one :
strawberry patterned aprons are the most domesticated of all the aprons.
from raven72d :
I'd join you for coffee... I do worry about you donning the strawberry-patterned apron while fueling up the chainsaw, though.
from illusionless :
Thanks for the links. It is good to read up on the genre. I think it would be difficult to write a book based on my life experiences when my family is so into secrecy, but it's worth a shot. I'd change names and whatnot, gotta look up the laws on that kind of stuff. It'll be a long way off. I think it's a neat idea too.
from illusionless :
Wow, I didn't know that about you. I hope you have that under control now. I used to be bulimic in high-school but transferred it over to cutting since it felt better and less damaging. at lest that's what I thought back then. If you ever need to talk about it I'm here for you.
from doctorkaysen :
lemme in you harlot! imaginaryness@gmail.com
from raygirl999 :
*sigh* you used the word trollop *swoon* did I mention that when I was younger I looked u the synonyms for slut (or whore maybe) in the Thesaurus? Slattern, strumpet, and trollop were three of my faves!
from cybers1ut :
I'm sorry you do not see the infinite capacity that people have for change. I've said and thought a lot of stupid things, but I've grown since then. I'm not seventeen, twenty, or twenty three anymore. Are you?
from cybers1ut :
Sometimes I think ordinary would be a welcomed relief, but I cannot pass for ordinary in my wildest dreams... or most mundane. I just don't dwell in narcissistic fantasy, and if that qualifies me for ordinary then I'm comfortable with that.
from cybers1ut :
I am glad you have such well defined priorities in life.
from cybers1ut :
You should take a vacation from the confines of your mind. You're starting to sound like Tori Amos, and she's a bat shit crazy lady with a bad face lift right now. She's a prime example of going down the wrong path.
from cybers1ut :
Had a bad day? Surely my reticence couldn't possibly bother you that much.
from cybers1ut :
What up?
from thruthecrowd :
Hey, just so you know, I am not against it. I have at least 3 d-land buddies as fb amigos. But I got really pissed that no one here hangs out with me about two weeks ago and set everything to the highest security measures possible...I've since undone a few, but I think I'm still unsearchable, unless you are already a friend of a friend, I think this is true even with a direct link. Email me yours, same one you last emailed me at, and when I get over feeling weird about yet another person knowing my name, you will be allowed to bask in a live streaming form of my fantasticness. :P <3
from raven72d :
llama, llama, fuzzy llama, llama llama, duck.
from opposure :
I hope you're well. x
from darthuae :
password :( astromechdroid at gmail dot
from illusionless :
Thanks for the note. I wish I could see it as lovely. I just find it frustrating. By the way, I notice you locked your diary. Can you please have the user/pass? My e-mail is emilymiedema(at)gmail(dot)(com) Thanks.
from the-grey-one :
i'm always Mr Green. sorry bout the hard weekend. after such a time, i would need a very long break.
from star-brite :
locked forever or temp lock? litebright86@yahoo.com <--- my email from 8th grade that is still associated with DLand if your up for sharing =]
from xnamehere :
i mean... without the underscores!
from raygirl999 :
can i have a key please my dear? you can FB it to me. I will also e-mail you the proper and polite way as well. I've missed you during my jaunt to mexico.
from raygirl999 :
can i have a key please my dear? you can FB it to me. I will also e-mail you the proper and polite way as well. I've missed you during my jaunt to mexico.
from xnamehere :
may get a key? ashes_x_93@aol (without the dashes)
from warpednormal :
hi lovely! im back on diaryland. would love to get zee password ? :) ic_princess89@hotmail.com
from thruthecrowd :
may I please have the skeleton key? I apparently cannot stand not reading what you have to share. :) againsthesky at diaryland dot com
from secret-motel :
I think I could make my own chocolate puke after eating the uterus salad and the fish fucks. (p.s. is your diary going to locked up for a while? If so, may I have a skeleton key?).
from atwowaydream :
inlethaldoses@aol.com - That's me, kay?
from tinea :
i just wanted to say thank you for your comment. it meant a lot to me because you in particular know what it's like to deal with a self-destructive person. it's like, you wish so much that there was an end in sight so at least you know you won't have to worry about them forever, but life is never that easy.
from tinea :
i just wanted to say thank you for your comment. it meant a lot to me because you in particular know what it's like to deal with a self-destructive person. it's like, you wish so much that there was an end in sight so at least you know you won't have to worry about them forever, but life is never that easy.
from raven72d :
I'll always be Three Years Old. Always.
from raven72d :
I'd love to talk s/m, but without humiliation included
from raven72d :
I trust you on these issues of lost fragrances.
from raven72d :
Quoting Kylie seems quite normal to me.
from secret-motel :
I am grateful for your weirdness.
from raven72d :
You, my dear, are a good older sister.
from secret-motel :
I, too, will start with the uterus salad, followed by some fresh-water fish fucks. And I think I'll go with the chocolate puke for dessert.
from raven72d :
I love Asian menus
from raven72d :
Kisses at New Year's, Selena!
from doctorkaysen :
from raven72d :
As a Yale alum, I'd be more than happy to write Walter a recommendation.
from loladesilva :
Its no bother don't worry, depart whenever you please, no need for warnings.
from frankie123 :
cocorosie! (ya?)
from darthuae :
florence + the machine (ceremonials) (all i can say right now)
from darthuae :
Love you even more.
from raven72d :
I'm seeing an Ivy future for Walter.
from raven72d :
I love pet rocks!
from the-grey-one :
glad to see access into the alcoves of your mindthoughts has once again been restored. <3
from opposure :
I'm still here, wherever that is. <3
from darthuae :
astromechdroid at gmail dot com pretty please
from darthuae :
i n.e.e.d. a password.
from papersails :
I won't share your password on my other blog! (Or with anyone, for that matter!) I know that should go without saying, but I just wanted to reassure you!
from papersails :
would you mind giving me a password? if you don't want to leave it in my notes, my email is ecbiddit@gmail.com
from frankie123 :
you're all locked up!
from papersails :
thank you... so it's cool that I link to you from my other blog? I noticed those other two notes weren't in your notes... just making sure everything's kosher :)
from papersails :
Your discretion concerning my email address is appreciated. If you think I'm a paranoid freak at this point, you're right.
from raven72d :
I don't know what "harpsichord French baroque sluttiness" is...but I like it.
from secret-motel :
Even your drunken spurts are dear to me.
from raven72d :
You're on my permanent Good List, girl.
from nerryna :
i am so sorry for your loss. you're right, not a lot of cats get to live to twenty. she has had a good life getting loved by you. she's very lucky.
from raygirl999 :
I'm so sorry :-(((((( text me if you want! *hugs*
from akasha90 :
aha! i finally have an aim account because i never had one in aol. i took long because all the names i thought of were taken. :( but here it is! clarice.strangeling@aol.com
from thruthecrowd :
<3 and *hugs*
from raygirl999 :
*hugs* and thank yous. So funny you should say that. My prof said he wrote his one and only book with his siblings in mind and they didn't even make it through the foreword. He is the stereotypical, white, straight, male, north eastern intellectual who refuses to get his hands dirty but loves to pass judgment on other less civilized societies. He likes to speak about giving a voice to the "subaltern" the voiceless "proletariat", He doesn't even let his southern, Black, female, students express an opinion that does not mirror his own. All HAIL master professor. The brilliant giver of Cosby sweaters and unreadable self-written "books"
from secret-motel :
"I've never been in the right era, I'm not meant for this time." I think this about myself alllll the time. I'm also pretty certain I would feel this way no matter what era I lived in.
from raygirl999 :
YES it's true and I feel like Brit and I have had similar life trajectories but her's was much harsher. Rise to fame and success (well no fame for me) surrounded by predatory jerks. A downfall and at the end triumph! There were times I feared she wouldn't make 30 but she has and she is happier, healthier and better than ever. She is releasing some of her biggest hits ever! Love her and I am so glad I made this trip!
from frankie123 :
i think i only just realized that no matter where in the world you are, everybody's seeing the same moon. i was driving home ten minutes ago and was so struck by how clear the night sky was (cuz the ground's really foggy), with the moon so starkly white and round against it.
from cybers1ut :
You've been talkin' about Hailey since we were 17, I'm baffled I've never met her. Twenty years is a tremendous amount of time for a cat. She's been faithful, huh?
from thruthecrowd :
I'm sorry. That is sooo hard. Know that I am thinking of you and care, from many miles away. :( <3
from the-grey-one :
dude, i am so incredibly sending you so much oodles of love that perhaps you get overwhelmed by it! i cant even imagine having to put a pet down! aaah, it's so terrible to think about.
from illusionless :
I'm sorry about your cat possibly dying. It's always difficult when an animal you love dies. You're right, it is all worth it in the end. Animals are so precious!
from raven72d :
"Marshal Andre--- faux-champagne for demon children!" I see a major ad campaign here.
from raygirl999 :
Awww I am so sorry about your kitty! I remember when my beloved Charlie died of cancer just one day after I visited home for Christmas. It's like he waited for me to say good-bye. I love that cat so much.
from raven72d :
so very sorry to hear about Hailey...
from raven72d :
anytime, girl. you're a dear friend, and i just hope i can offer useful advice.
from raven72d :
The play-stripping video by the boss is just...way out there in Bizarro Land. And tell Ray to seriously think about legal remedies for any harassment/termination issues.
from raygirl999 :
No oblivion! I need someone here to be a witness to my awesome deviousness!!! Perhaps I should take pictures and post them on FB,
from raygirl999 :
No on should ever underestimate people like us. We are mainly sweet but we are mostly devious and we protect our own like mama bears.
from secret-motel :
Haha, I was thinking about writing you again to see if you got that last email, because what happens, sometimes, is that I'll save a draft and then send it after I have resumed and completed it. Even though I have a copy of the one I sent in my Sent folder, not-so-Hotmail still shows your email as having not yet been replied to. This seems to always be the case for responses saved and resumed. But I'm glad you got it! Write back when you're good and ready. We all do a lot of juggling, this time of year, so don't rush yourself. Many hugs to you.
from raygirl999 :
Have I told you lately...that I love you? I wish I could put little musical notes next to this but you get the idea. Thank you hon!
from doctorkaysen :
you are on my short list of favorite people ever, just sayin'.
from enurta :
I've seen one of those doll collectors on another show, that is completely fucked up. it's called 'my strange addiction', have u seen it? you should. it's very interesting.
from raygirl999 :
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I wish for a lovely and beautiful holiday for a lovely and beautiful woman!
from akasha90 :
same here! it's so adorable! hehe and have a nice vacation. :)
from raven72d :
We must buy Hapless Frog a drink and commiserate with him. (And your birthday wishes are appreciated, Selena--- you've been a wonderful friend for all these years...)
from raven72d :
I love the hapless frog!
from raven72d :
gentle and fun and quietly caring people are key.
from raygirl999 :
I think you should quit your dumb job and come hang out with me in NYC!!
from raven72d :
Engrish.com--- yes. Always.
from secret-motel :
A hearty congratulations on the new job!
from raygirl999 :
Thanks! It's true, I will always get up and always keep trying. These days I finally realize how fortunate I am and I will never stop fighting for the good life.
from raven72d :
time to get some resumes out.
from raven72d :
i miss being 3 years old.
from xnamehere :
good god, thank you for posting that. \m/((((︶︿︶))))\m/
from famelicose :
Thanks. I enjoy it but I wish I could be long and elegant. There is something special about a little black dress with long legs poking out from underneath. However, being small has it's advantages. Tall girls often get outed because they are taller than a man. I will never have that problem. The only problem I have is that gaining weight looks worse on a small frame. and jeans, oh the issue with jeans.
from darthuae :
friends. i like that word.
from raven72d :
We'll have our T. Rex friends and the little Hello Cthulhu stufflings with us. And several capybaras.
from raven72d :
Write. Post. You and I will be at D-Land when the stars have fallen onto an empty planet.
from secret-motel :
Tipping my tipsy glass to you.
from illusionless :
Yes, it is amazing. Even the people I've seen who haven't began medical transition yet. I don't think I identify as ftm. There are so many labels that sometimes it can get confusing.
from joistmonkey :
RE: "Some of them look delicious and edible, and some look like pastel roadkill, I'm not gonna lie.", I *really* like the idea of pastel roadkill. Muted dianthus pinks as opposed to crimson viscera.
from raven72d :
darling, i've been exchanging notes with you for...seven years, now? maybe eight. i like having your entries around.
from raven72d :
Well, I'll be glad to divvy up the deserted planet with you.
from raven72d :
I'll be reading along with you and posting my own entries here when we're the last people left on a deserted planet.
from akasha90 :
and i'll be reading your diary religiously.
from akasha90 :
and i'll be reading your diary religiously.
from avantbedroc :
biatch, you haven't added me
from atwowaydream :
raygirl, this is for you, i mean, obviously or whatever:
from atwowaydream :
aw man. i posted to my own friggin' notes. that's a bitch. that's just retarded.
from atwowaydream :
Yes, with Augusten Burroughs. I love him, but yes, a very designer version of our beloved, Mr. Sedaris. Honestly, they both make me laugh. Also, yes, David. . . :::swoon::: I love that raw and quivering little spine of his.
from raygirl999 :
"Smashed" was such a huge disappointment. It was not insightful, or well written, funny or overly shocking. It was a waste of paper and there is a reason I bought it at Wal-mart... I love autobiographical stories. David Sedaris beats EVERYONE. Fantastic. On another note (back to the topic at hand) Have you read Dry by Running With Scissors dude (forgot his name). If so, thoughts?
from raygirl999 :
Tell me more about this book! I have Junkie and I actually liked that book because it was a more linear narrative, than say "naked Lunch", which I own and have not finished in 7 years...We had a fun discussion about our love of autobiographical stories of addiction such as Junkie, Now, More,Again, Dry/Running with Scissors. And our disdain of the bad ones such as Smashed (so fucking terrible) and Wasted which glorifies EDs because the author obviously thought she was a special snowflake. I think we are voyeurs at heart...
from raven72d :
Reading Rainbow. Yes.
from loladesilva :
Despite my somewhat noncommittal reply, I do think we should speak at some moment, it would be nice.
from the-grey-one :
<3 thanks for the song. i love you
from raven72d :
I liked that song, too.
from loladesilva :
Its another one of those that I wasnt sure of, in fact I only just looked it up. It is a nice word though, I like how it sounds. ITs almost brings as much pleasure as saying fuck. you know, rather then rolling of the tongue( which can be nice) it fires it self out, so well.
from acuteapathy :
All the loving memories associated with the smell of this candle is definitely worth the $5.60. You will not be disappointed.
from frankie123 :
:)
from xnamehere :
sorry to hear about the business going under. :( your worries are by no means insubstantial.
from theways :
hugs! <3
from bridgecity :
I think facebook is the only way people remember birthdays. I didn't enter my birthday on my fb page and no one called or sent me a message this year. I guess it's probably the same with remembering phone numbers since cell phones. Just numbers.
from raven72d :
I love their "Gimme Sympathy" a lot.
from opposure :
You're right.
from raven72d :
Metric-- yes!
from the-grey-one :
!!! what's happening!
from bridgecity :
I like the stories about your dad.
from the-grey-one :
you look like ariel! you are such a siren
from pridegrl :
p.s. you are beautiful. i don't know you to be anything but beautiful.
from pridegrl :
now that was really nice of you. thank you for your kind words. and for validating my feelings. you "got it" when i thought no one would. i appreciate that. thank you.
from secret-motel :
"hair like firetrucks speeding through red lights with the sirens on." I love that line.
from frankie123 :
i think you're right
from illusionless :
I agree with you about how hot androgyny and femmes are! I'm not into the butch girls. I love the movie the girl next door! The actress is very beautiful.
from raygirl999 :
As emo as this sounds, I don't know if my walls are even down for myself. OK that was ridiculous and I would like to retract that statement. But yes we could definitely be friends! And have Happy Endings watching parties! I actually really like that show. Damon Waynes, Jr. for life!
from raygirl999 :
Have you seen Happy Endings? Such a funny show and Cuthbert is in it. Or 24 (actually no don't see that for her, she was terrible)
from loladesilva :
That sounds nice, however frightening. It SHOULD happen.
from elusive-you :
i know, right?!?
from illusionless :
Thanks for the nice note. :D I love the wig!
from raven72d :
wuff! said the small, long-eared desert hedgehog.
from secret-motel :
I like that saucey pink wig-do. You look quite the pop diva. But you also possess all those great internal qualities that most pop divas lack or bury.
from raygirl999 :
You are quite a lovely person. I just thought you should know.
from sephiragrace :
each one of the songs has a different emotion and meaning. I love them. My favorites are carry, cactus practice, jobs coffin, star whisperer, and your ghost. <3
from the-grey-one :
i wholeheartedly agree! miss you!
from starkitten01 :
Thank you so much, Sweetie. <3
from cybers1ut :
Didn't Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn break up a while ago? Along with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robins.
from sephiragrace :
The new Tori Amos-I love it. <3. and <3 you too.
from raven72d :
hey--- Kurt and I are the same vintage...and he's lasted a while with Goldie.
from the-grey-one :
"i don't miss drugs, but i miss its shadows. you can play hide and seek with nostalgia, and put the bad thoughts in a cabinet in the kitchen that no one ever checks." i love you.
from frankie123 :
re 'hipster': there's a thousand connotations and no real definiton. don't worry about it, really, it doesn't matter.
from raven72d :
I've always been a neutrino fan. And tachyons!
from xnamehere :
ah yes... annihilating this bitch... you and me and both pal. ;)
from raygirl999 :
A true sadist invented 1-ply toiler paper. Disgusting. An angel invented 3-ply (which I have yet to try!!!) That is all I have to add. My bit of wisdom for the day.
from xorbit :
Hello again and thank you, glad you like it :) I've been meaning to write that one for a couple of months but it seems it was finally ready to come out the other day. There is another one in there somewhere - I have the title and the general premise, but the words are still arranging themselves. Hopefully it will be ready sooner rather than later. As for "back"... I really can't commit myself at this point. I'd like to be, but I have so much going on atm (irl as well as elsewhere online). xxx
from the-grey-one :
"throw your little origami self into a riverbend with nothing but chinese lanterns and endless neon miles." absolutely beautiful. stunning.
from frankie123 :
a lipstick that shoots bullets. i see this ending badly.
from frankie123 :
the power of eyeliner -- so right. eyeliner and mascara, all a girl really needs.
from darthuae :
"the stars will look closer, more pure, more willing to make our wishes come true and all that shit." shit is right. beautiful shit.
from darthuae :
i am NEVER leaving. "done!" is one of the few drugs that do it for me these days.
from raven72d :
I'm not going anywhere. I've been here since June of the Year Two, and I'll be here for a long time. I read my friends' journals and exchange notes and I don't ever want to be without that.
from cybers1ut :
Hey, I don't have internet at the house right now and the facebook ap for my phone is fucked up. It doesn't update, I don't even bother looking it anymore. Sorry!
from cybers1ut :
I still have that awful tattoo. People love not to ask, but to nod at me meaningfully and say "I get it" upon seeing it, as though there were some deep mysticism to it. I broke my knee and have spent the last three weeks in bed reading, thinking, torturing myself really (some habits, when left unattended, creep back upon me) and I thought to myself today in all my cabin sickness induced nostalgia...that we have known each other for fourteen years. - I thought of your sisters. I thought of just how volatile and painfully embarrassing youth can be. - I do not inspect nor pull at peoples threads any longer, I haven't in years; it is too cruel.
from raven72d :
A cottage? Is it close to anything? Would you miss latte and wi-fi?
from ping-island :
i think she might have been joking? i have no idea! she could probably be actually removing my clothing and i still would have questions.
from raven72d :
It was a great kiss.
from raven72d :
I like you as a young Elizabeth Shue.
from thruthecrowd :
You have beautiful kitties. :)
from star-brite :
hey. dont sweat it. drunk dramatic entries happen.:) (in my case, pretty often.)
from frankie123 :
<3
from outer-jessie :
Nice, I put my response to your response in my OWN notes, not yours. Goddammit. Well, check it out there if you wish!
from raygirl999 :
Hey just checking in. I want to make sure you are OK! Update please. No hurricane can take out our girl. You are tough!
from outer-jessie :
What's going on with you? What do you need? I may be an old fart now but I still remember what it was to be young and too smart to understand what was going on. Ask if you need help.
from raygirl999 :
Hey I watch out for my friends! I figured you were but better safe than sorry right? I am annoyed by this hurricane, which is trying to keep me from NYC and my future happiness. Stupid , damn weather.
from loladesilva :
"sometimes terror is very, very mundane." God all mighty the last few weeks Ive been waking up in inexplicable terror.
from loladesilva :
"sometimes terror is very, very mundane." God all mighty the last few weeks Ive been waking up in inexplicable terror.
from raygirl999 :
Swallowing just the recommended dosage, right?
from loladesilva :
Im glad sushi doesnt fuck around. Mother natures been warned.
from thruthecrowd :
Ahh, Tori soothes the sore spot every time. Thanks, I needed that. :) NOW I can start actually trying to do my homework 0;-)
from raven72d :
And Pluto's little moon Charon, too!
from darthuae :
Pluto! You'll always be a planet to me!
from raven72d :
Yay, little Pluto! We're with you always!
from the-grey-one :
who is going to pick up all those fallen products! dear lord, i will pray for you.
from pridegrl :
with napkins, m*therf**ker. roflmao, that's such a perfect m*therf**king line! i love it! hahahahahaha.
from frankie123 :
hey, i get called sociopath too! between [probably] imagined personality disorders and veggie zombie jokes, we're practically the same person!
from raygirl999 :
The way I describe it is that I seem to see myself from outside of myself. Like as an uninvolved third person and this third person can't quite remember what I look like. I have times when I go to the restroom and look at myself in the mirror and come out and look at myself again and I go from acceptable to hideous. It's odd but that's life I guess.
from pridegrl :
f**k, i hate when that happens, not remembering the dream. i once read an entire book in my dream. damn if i could remember even the title of it. i've written songs, letters, and wonderfully delicious poems in my dreams ... all of which i swore were so great that there'd be no way i could forget them. *ahem* forgotten. i'll punch a pillow for you.
from secret-motel :
I'm sick, too! Sounds like we have the same thing. I got sick just as the weekend was getting underway--which always makes me angry, cuz that shit cuts into my drinkin' time, ya know? And "death warmed over" is the only expression that enters my head when I brave a peek at the mirror. Get well, soon!
from raygirl999 :
I hate when I forget what I look like. i feel I don't recognize myself in any photos or in the mirror. I guess my face changes hourly.
from bridgecity :
maybe if you looked at a picture of yourself then held up the picture to the mirror maybe the picture of you would remember what you looked like.
from the-grey-one :
"And then you wake up with your nose clogged, feeling as if you're smelling your own brain. And it smells like snot." haha oh dear, you are too much! feel better!
from sephiragrace :
you are a kind, sweet soul. and you certainly do not make me vomit. :) lol
from raven72d :
you've always been supportive and kind to me--- a pretty good friend.
from the-grey-one :
hee hee!
from frankie123 :
(living at home / going to school. nothing even remotely interesting)
from frankie123 :
NOTHING! GOD! LEAVE ME ALONE!
from bethshort :
I think you are quite beautiful. And littel hedgehog stufflings are the best.
from loladesilva :
"mc hammer skeleton balloon pants" Those sound like the best kind of pants, I imagine them being very comfortable.
from nessus :
I care for my hermit crab. She's already molted once, and she climbs on the lid of the cage all the time, hanging upside down.
from bethshort :
I know that feeling, being overwhelmed by people. It's uncomfortable but it passes.
from the-grey-one :
your textual soup has healed me madam, i am most pleasantly surprised!
from bridgecity :
Kind of reminds me of that scene in Fire Walk With Me when Leland won't let Laura eat breakfast until she cleans her fingernails.
from theways :
my dad's pretty fucked up about trash and recycling too. to a somewhat lesser degree. but yeah, that ain't normal.
from raygirl999 :
Well there are people who hunt through dumpsters and collect things and auction them off for tons of cash. Or he could work at a recycling place sorting things. Hmmm I am so lazy about my trash, he could come over here, I'd like to recycle more...I bet some people would like someone to help them become greener.
from raygirl999 :
Perhaps you could create some fake trash to distract him? Sounds odd or like I am joking but I'm not. He has the need to focus on something so whether it is really your trash or your neighbors or just some things you put to the side...the result is the same. So at least he would not invade your personal space.
from the-grey-one :
i too have been a depressed brat today. maybe we caught a bad wavelength.
from raven72d :
Historical fiction... Go find Cecilia Holland's "Until the Sun Falls" and "Kings in Winter".
from raven72d :
horror re-makes never get it right.
from raygirl999 :
Is it narcissism? Or does he know that his real-life creepiness will ooze through the screen and attach itself to our lives, following us as we grow older, hiding in the shadows. I swear that man is not wholly human, but I love him all the same. Plus his cameos are hilarious because he is the worst actor ever and his odd looks make him like the worst product placement ever.
from raygirl999 :
Just read IT this year and if they every touch that film I will cut a bitch. I love Stephen King and his freaky mind and oddly shaped head. <3
from raven72d :
wuff! thank you!
from loladesilva :
No, I do not think the child is crying...not visibly at least. I apologize for occasionally not replying to your notes, I'm working on it..You didnt say anything to prompt that I just..Ill probably just put this in a entry, this whole note thing takes getting used to.
from loladesilva :
From "yes, Vivid" to "a little girl who cries" I melt.
from raven72d :
"St. Teresa" is an old favourite of mine...so beautiful. And I want to see Paris moons...
from bethshort :
every moon is a paris moon. i love that.
from darthuae :
i lovelovelove this song. i'm going to dissolve into the entire album now. "a place where sound is cushion and twilight slashes through the pavement and every moon is a Paris moon" - c'est parfait x
from the-grey-one :
yaaay regina spektor!
from darthuae :
i'm definitely on the melting clock jealous team.
from pridegrl :
i really hate the media for highlighting the dark side and downslide of Amy Winehouse. Her genius should have been acknowledged and celebrated, allowing life to breathe into her. I did not know her as I know her now. I hear her voice, listen to the vibrations of her soul drumming against her throat and I fall in love with her. This kind of shit infuriates and inpsires me simultaneously.
from nessus :
I really like that entry (electric pink).
from darthuae :
I usually return borrowed items as soon as I'm done using them, but I'm keeping your heart for a while just to smile at whenever I'm heartbroken! Your purity is dazzling.
from darthuae :
can I borrow your heart for the night? the world is lacking warmth at the moment :(
from bethshort :
i am so jealous of the clock. nice bookshelves too.
from lust- :
Too late. Already jealous..have a lovely weekend, dear.xo
from akasha90 :
i really want a melting clock now. i love your collection of zombie books as well.
from darthuae :
I am a bitch 300 days a year and a nervous wreck the rest of it. I think it's just my way of saying, yes, I am still free, and unbelievably naked in front of others (skewed reassurance). Haven't been on dland as much as I like but I always come back to find your words. Utterly beautiful.
from enurta :
wow, you're beautiful :)
from illusionless :
I like your pictures.
from illusionless :
Absolutely. Religion doesn't matter at all in terms of friendships. My friends and I don't judge each other by that stuff. I think some of my readers missed the point about my entries is that my main worry was that since I'm not as open as my friends are that they wouldn't want me around at their parties anymore, but that isn't the case at all. We have a bond outside of partying as well. I think it was just an insecure moment on my part.
from bethshort :
research is good.
from raven72d :
i always love your photos.
from akasha90 :
you're pretty!
from frankie123 :
haha! we are online diary zombie joke twins!
from lust- :
You are too cute. Hope you've been having a lovely weekend.xo
from bethshort :
you are the loveliest duck i've seen.
from raven72d :
Wuff! And small, long-eared desert hedgehogs are vur' loyal and steadfast little friends, too.
from raven72d :
Yay, duckface! And you've been a good friend at D-Land for many a year now!
from illusionless :
Thanks for the well wishes. Have you decided what you are going to do about yoru family vacation? You'd think someone would help you out so you could stay in that fancy hotel with them.
from outer-jessie :
What, there's no one whose room you can stay in? Sounds like you've got a big group going, and no family rate? Bullpies. Of course, I would be the one staying at the Econolodge, but still eating any and all free food at the Hilton until bedtime.
from the-grey-one :
Ah, the trouble with leaving diaryland for a few days is i come back and am overwhelmed with how many amazing sentences you have crafted in my absence! profile updated!
from doctorkaysen :
STAY AT THE HILTON. REGRET NOTHINGGGGG.
from lacienega :
lacienega//larapin
from bliss-sad :
I've always thought that "drifting" into depression was bullshit; that it was much more like a sudden blackout, or like being blindfolded and shoved into a van. I really loved this entry, man, it made me feel so much less crazy to read my feelings--black, white and written by somebody else. Soo much love to you!!!
from raven72d :
i will get you to send a paper-and-ink letter one day.
from bethshort :
i am sorry. i am here now if that helps... get in touch with me if you'd like: dilettante1890@gmail.com
from raven72d :
Yay, little mantis friends!
from thruthecrowd :
Praying mantises are my favorite bugs to play with. They are so intelligent and aware and friendly AND they can fly! Coolest bugs ever. I would totally do the same. Thank you for sharing that. <3!
from akasha90 :
same here. i really enjoy seeing new updates.
from raven72d :
the snake story is cool...
from akasha90 :
it's not that i don't like adding complete strangers on facebook, but i prefer the sort of anonymity that i have here which makes me a lot more real than facebook. i actually think of this as my main social networking site. even though i barely talk to many people. but it feels like i do when i read everyone's diary.
from loladesilva :
Frankies*
from loladesilva :
Ohh my, you have no idea how much that pleases me, I would love to be annoyed by you. I had considered adding you when I saw you on Frankys facebook but I wasnt sure, ooooh. Just making me giddy. Yes I just added you I am known there as Lola de Silva as well.
from the-grey-one :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84phU8of02U perhaps this is fitting!
from in-alaska :
you have no idea how much it means.
from the-grey-one :
stop watching the news! ain't no good no how
from avantbedroc :
hey girl, i caught that before the edit. hopes u okay.
from bethshort :
I like that you use the word "hogwash"
from avantbedroc :
chat?? shut up! i have tried to add you on aol two or three times. tramp keeps ignoring me
from akasha90 :
it would be nice if the chat worked. i have never used it. i'm still waiting for the invite option. i would send myself an invite to make a new username. i've had this one for over a decade. i wouldn't mind paying for a new account, but i can't use my card with paypal.
from secret-motel :
DL chat IS bee-ess. I tried it a long time ago--never worked. Tried it again after reading your entry. Still a no-go. Otherwise I would meet you there. Every Saturday night.
from secret-motel :
I love your letters. Wherever they rise. Neko Case is doing a free show in a park here in SF today. I saw that and thought of you.
from the-grey-one :
dude 'proper' was aweesome. i guffawed, a very rare occurence!
from thruthecrowd :
:) My bf was told yesterday that someone adopted the three black and white ones together. <3 If I ever own my own home, I am hoping to foster and socialize rescued cats for the rest of my life. All of my own cats were rescued from death on the streets or abuse, and as far as these cute lil kittens, I couldn't not fall in love with them and do everything possible to help them not have to live on the streets too. As I was holding each of them it felt so precious to me to hear them purr and be able to relax in my arms -- and then to see them actual crave it. They had never been touched by a person till they were caught by animal control, so I was the real first loving human in their lives. <3 My bf is grateful too because he loves his new very loving and purry kitten :)
from outer-jessie :
Thank you! And by the way, I think the picture of the Titanic raptor is the most magnificent thing I've ever seen. :)
from outer-jessie :
Not to mention that that doesn't even make sense. Why would depression meds affect your intelligence? Fuck that guy. (Sorry, I just dropped in for the first time, and already causing trouble :D
from the-grey-one :
"slap her in the face with the heel of my foot." nice atwoway.. do you know i call you (ah-tu-way) in my head? because i do, even though i know your nameeeeee.
from nicim :
06/29/11 On our own. How that single phrase bounces around and resonates in my soul.
from the-grey-one :
is it weird if i want to say that it feels like i miss you?
from raven72d :
be out in the world, darling. you are worth attention and admiration and deference... and the world is full of adventures and stories for you...
from nessus :
:) Thank yew.
from secret-motel :
The raptor is great. I would like it even more if it was devouring Kate and Leo. Actually, I still harbor some benign feelings toward Kate because of Heavenly Creatures and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Leo, however, should have his eyes pecked out and his testicles chipped away by rusty beaks.
from raven72d :
we need to have many origami pterodactyls. And I want a Small Domestic Archaeopteryx. A small raptor (Velociraptors are actually quite petite) would be excellent, dashing round the house and sitting on the kitchen floor waiting for treats.
from the-grey-one :
jurassic park was very influential on me as a kid.. i wonder if the kids these days even know what dinosaurs are!? are they still taught in schools? are pirates still taught in school!? WHAT ARE WE TEACHING THE CHILDREN!?
from raygirl999 :
I think it is important for everyone to be themselves. If we were able to, there would be a lot less pain and heartache. So says Raygirl the Hippie.
from avantbedroc :
not off, just hiding in different places. this time in the clouds ;-)
from raven72d :
my notes area is always available for drunk posts, darling.
from frankie123 :
your mom sounds hilarious / awesome
from avantbedroc :
Oh hai! look at me. i fuck off for a few weeks then come back & jizz over your notes. see u next in august x
from avantbedroc :
I really think you suit the name Lola but i kinda have a feeling you detest that name
from avantbedroc :
Just saw Ravens diary name mix up note.. yes, been there ;)
from avantbedroc :
Lola, you & yr glue...
from swallowthkey :
i'm also missing my glue. trying to conceptualize myself just ends in a whole lot of grasping straws. every time i come up with something that i could say, yes that is me, that is how others see me, it takes about two seconds for that to be thrown into doubt. i'll keep an eye out for your glue.
from theways :
nah, you've got your glue, it's right here, words are your glue, life and physics and walking around are too ephemeral and unsteady, you can't find a concept in those. this place is thoughts worth saving. thoughts morphed into words. rage and love and calm and freedom. pretty blonde hair and a fresh whisking sense of belonging. hamsters and music. books and a hint of cigarettes and self loathing.
from bethshort :
hey stranger! yes, it is a bit ridiculous that you find paris attractive--but you must remember that is what she is on earth for. people slam her left and right and with good reason, but you know? she doesn't need to care because she's rather beautiful isn't she? there's the rub for all us....i could go further there but i just won't. my friend who is connected says that our ms hilton is really quite a baby girl child in real life as she is in the public eye if that makes you feel better. and nicole ritchies breath is usually foul--fyi. hope that helped your day =)
from raven72d :
I will name Skynet's pony Edmund. Yay, small shaggy ponies!
from raven72d :
I want to live in a house on Atwo Way, just off Mulholland Dr.--- I'd live there with the pony Skynet has promised me.
from raven72d :
I spent all these years looking at your journal name and reading it as "Atwo Way Dream". It really, really was only tonight that I read it as "a two way dream". I'm going to lobotomise myself now.
from nessus :
That is such a great album (Murder Ballads).
from dinahsoar :
Great entry! I could practically SEE the willows touching their toes with their eyelashes!
from bean-burrito :
thank you for your kind words, we all miss her very much. ♥ by the way, i have that same kramer shirt. classic episode.
from raven72d :
Hmmm.... If you're not any of those things, is it still possible that you're Batman?
from the-grey-one :
perhaps you are close-minded to the close-minded? *x-files music*
from bridgecity :
Hello, we've been here 7 years just about. I am just now adding you to my list. I appreciate that it sounds as though you may never abandon diaryland.
from akasha90 :
yes! but it's so hard to find here.
from secret-motel :
Yes, drinks and movies with you would be the best time ever.
from the-grey-one :
hey loved the recognize entry! i do the same thing with my cat every now and then. i like to think he would do the same had he the means.. also props on the kramer shirt!!
from raven72d :
my dear, i regard my utter pervy-ness as part of my charm. and i'm always clear about what i am. fortunately, certain lovely girls seems to agree about pervy-ness being something they like.
from pridegrl :
roflmao @secret-motel.
from raven72d :
you, selena, are a dear and major friend. glad to have you around, girl.
from loladesilva :
I always become excited when I am online at the same time as you (along with a few more) I see you as the queen or leader or whatever title you like of this site, for whatever reason. I just had a child on my lap and it made me ridiculously sentimental for whatever reason, so excuse.
from raven72d :
I've been at D-Land since...June of the Year Two. I'm never leaving here. This is my home.
from secret-motel :
My last entry was written after my fifth brandy last night. I don't think I'm going away. But I do feel like my brain is decomposing. Entries don't come to me as easy as they once did. But I will keep trying. I would facebook you, but I'm not on the facebooks thingamajig. Do you like to do the emails? I like to do the emails--especially when I'm all tipsy on wine like I am right now. My emails and phone calls can become inappropriately affectionate ("I luvvvvvv youuuuu"). If you like to do the emails and don't mind the occasional over-affection, you can signal me at drowning13@hotmail.com
from dinahsoar :
Thanks for following my words!
from pridegrl :
lol @ the-grey-one, because i think of it as "atta-way-dream" even though i know it says a-two-way-dream (or does it?). anyhow, i hear ya on the "who wants to get up to nothingness?" i get that every now and again, but remember the last time it happened and the time before? ... yeah, it passed and the sun came out and we kind of almost forgot that we felt that way? well, i hope that's what happens. funks really bite. have a corona.
from the-grey-one :
i have been on this site for 6 years and i never realized the bold names were paying members! i just kind of.. never gave it thought? here is a secret for you: in my head i refer to you as 'ahtuway', it sounds cool, trust me.
from the-grey-one :
dude, scintillate is an awesome word. way to name an entry! also im sorry to hear that diarylandstats is lame. you should totally use my stats tracker, yah it's still just ip's but it's much better than sitemeter. i think i am starting to figure out who people are...
from raven72d :
while being slapped around by lovely blonde girl has its charms, i will do better at typing. and try to have less to drink before going to DL at night.
from star-brite :
been reading/will continue reading bolded name or not.:)
from raygirl999 :
Hmm your words fill me with reluctance. I do not like people thinking they know me based on my insane ramblings. At the same time you are all very lovely. I do think I may switch to my other journal for a while. My dl is a place for release not necessarily understanding. I feel rather awkward.
from raven72d :
i keep typing 'serena' where i mean 'selena' because of, oh, incompetence at typing and far too much pinot grigio.
from raven72d :
and you, ms. serena, do scintillate.
from dinahsoar :
Lovely entry!
from raygirl999 :
I love that this world is big enough and bold enough that we can all have our first-level number one loves and we are all unique and it doesn't rankle and feathers. I'm such a hippie it's ridiculous. But dammit if I don't see the best in people and this world. I love that we like similar things but we have different interests too! we are unique. And you are lovable. I, on thebother hand, and delightfully insane and annoying
from raygirl999 :
It's ok! I feel bad liking things others hold dear. I'm weird I guess. My identity is bits and pieces of nothing. I love REM and i can have them for now. I am unpassionate about most things because there is always someone more passionate than me. I love the simpsons, which I am watching right now
from raygirl999 :
It pains me that you don't want to share so I relent. I don't like fighting and I never win anyway. Tori was a big part of my high school experience. But really it was just under the pink little earthquakes boys for pele. Nothing new and nothin older than that. I suppose I'm not a real fan more like a fan suspended in time. She is wonderful for sure. You can have Tori and Anne and I will quietly give you Sylvia in public. She will be mine in private, quietly as I sleep. She takes over my dreams when I am too drunk.
from raygirl999 :
Ok. Also Tori Amos mine. Better? Pretend you can see my beauteous smiling face right now Haha. *hugs* I swear this is why I have so few friends I am quite obnoxious and my humor does not translate well online
from raygirl999 :
Well dammit I just left a note for you on my own page because I am dumb. Hmm let's see. Plath mine. "the jailer" is my fave poem. Did a crazy project about it in high school. Read it love it live it. Bye
from raygirl999 :
Aww you love Anne sexton and I love Sylvia Plath. Fabulous
from theways :
her and sylvia... the softness we find in some of their words.. i just want to put a blanket on them and tell them everything's gonna be ok.
from theways :
oh, anne ♥
from secret-motel :
In real life, we would kick the HELL out of it. Whatever IT is. But we would kick it down and kick it around. Kick it all over the town. All four feet kicking. Hells yes.
from raygirl999 :
You'll be happy to know I learned the word from Aladdin one of the best Disney movies ever!
from sephiragrace :
I'd like to make a collage with little notes or something. :) Thanks love xoxo.
from secret-motel :
That was very sweet what you wrote in "true love." It made my mouth smile and my heart go bmm-BMM. Do you really think you would annoy me with hugs? Silly, that would be like annoying me with offers of beer and wine. If you hugged me, I might not let go right away.
from the-grey-one :
'small chair' was absolutely amazing! i completely relate. i've even written a poem called 'ode to a basement'. i lost so many safe spots.
from bean-burrito :
i'm just now seeing your message (i'm bad at this stuff). if you're still interested, i can email you a password and such. ♥
from raven72d :
i so want to always be re-united with favourite toys and stufflings and memories.
from the-grey-one :
dude, much thanks and love for the shout-out! finally getting some recognition over here. lol.
from raygirl999 :
Your latest update makes me smile. Thank you dearie. You are fabulous and yes my job is absolute hell. You will come visit me and it will be wonderful and happiness will abound.
from raygirl999 :
Yes the good ramen that doesn't have that nasty meat fat flavoring in it. Trust me when you come visit me in NYC you will never want to leave! My Texas-born insanity made actual New Yorkers genuflect at my partying ability.
from raygirl999 :
So top ramen or the other kind? Which do you prefer? And FYI I have decided you must visit me once I return to NYC. I think if would be fun.
from raven72d :
i've been trying to walk and swim... and of course eat much less. always. but i need to work on the Jamesons as well.
from frankie123 :
now that i am four hundred pages into franzen's corrections, you're right, this is definitely worth trucking through. i'm not sure what i was thinking when i expected a comedy
from akasha90 :
yes! even i'm surprised i kept my cool. i hate crying as well. i feel like such an idiot every time i cry in public.
from raven72d :
Well, yes...easy. Though I prefer "reasonably priced" to "cheap". But always easy.
from darthuae :
i love factory girl. it makes me want to spend sunny days indoors always topless looking for fantastically huge white papers to draw cocks on (or something). i don't understand why warhol annoys me so much though! i'm in love with edie so it could be that i hate him for being insane towards her at the end. oh and you won't stand me cuz i cry too often while picking at my skin - it only takes a cartoon to get the river flowing, "...oh, but, it's so *clean*..." LOVE x
from raven72d :
For $50 and an ice cream sandwich I'll do just about anything.
from raven72d :
thanks, darling!
from pridegrl :
i don't know what's worse - being phoneless or having a cosmo in place of my crackberry. mmm...i'm thinking the latter. lucky you then. hope you're all connected up soon.
from acuteapathy :
You don't know how much that made me smile. Thanks hun bun. :) anything new on your end?
from raygirl999 :
Thanks :-) it helps that I have people online that I can talk to and share my thoughts with too
from acuteapathy :
Thank you. Thank you for understanding. And the hug was very very appreciated, even being virtual. *hug*
from the-grey-one :
it's okay, disillusion merely makes way for new illusion! it's all fun and surprising!
from frankie123 :
thank you!
from the-grey-one :
when i think about wilbur i start salivating.. i can't believe there is someone out there who does not like bacon..everything i thought i knew was wrong..
from lust- :
I love Charlotte's Web. And, bacon.
from omfggwtf :
^______^ thank you very much! it is a cruel world to be living in haha, and i always get targeted! ah well. doesn't mean anything, pffft. xxxx
from raygirl999 :
Thanks. You know the thing that makes me sad...is that I'm NOT sad. I don't miss these people at all. I feel better and less angry and ashamed than I did before. That's pretty sad. And I tend to get sad about situations very quickly so I know if I was going to feel bad, I would by now. I haven't talk to one "friend" in a month and I feel good. Such a drain and negative influence on my life. When bad people think they are losing their grip on you, they become angry and try to bring you down by any means necessary. Anyway I hope you go outside today and drink some tasty (non Starbucks coffee) and have an enjoyable day.
from opposure :
Sorry about your brain chemistry - ask the peptide bartender to whip up some manic glee. For both of us. xx
from secret-motel :
There will be no standing in line for YOU. You're already on the VIP list, so come on in.
from raygirl999 :
NOOOOO damn I hate this state sometimes! Well if there is going to be a little bit of Texas anywhere I hope that little bit is me!
from avantbedroc :
ah, the formula!! i shall adhere to ;-)
from avantbedroc :
Have been watching dvd's. It can't be hormonal, not for over a week. Last week I balled my eyes out watching "where the wild things are" Is that even a sad movie?? I might have to check and google "am i a loser for crying throughout where the wild things are??". tonight i watched "edward scissorhands". Yeah, you guessed it, tears n shit
from raven72d :
it's key that lovely BRDYTW girls are properly pedicured, since i love them barefoot in tiny skirts.
from raygirl999 :
The title is rightfully mine!!!! And NYC is definitely my life. So glad to finally be going back home.
from raygirl999 :
Sweetheart I love ya I adore ya but this bitch right here gets a motha fuckin bday month ok? Not a damn day. Not a damn week. A whole fuckin month. I'm a bitch like that. *smooches*
from pridegrl :
listen, i don't care what color Jesus's toenails are. Mauve or not. Actually, Muave has been deemed one of my "colors". Go Him if he wants his damned toenails painted. i haven't had mine done in years. My sister is thin because she's starving. I wonder what color her toenails are.
from raven72d :
right.no stencils.
from frankie123 :
motha'fuckin selena's got some motha'fuckin swag! if you didn't live crazy miles away i'd drag you to all them gangsta shows with me!
from darthuae :
"Send me the end of your existence in a paper cup and then mail it to Alaska or some shit." BRAVO.
from frankie123 :
fuck yeah! (cussing is extra-fun coming from you!)
from loladesilva :
Ooooh its funny you mention that cause I watched it last night(for the like...fourth..fifth? time) after ordering it from the library. Its a wonderful wonderful film.
from darthuae :
can i sleep in your eyes tonight?
from avantbedroc :
hai pweety lady!
from loladesilva :
Yes all the romantic comedies from ..ehhh nineties, maybe eighties on were complete bullshit, and Woody Allen is very very funny, though Iv only seen the one movie, and a few stand up routines here and there.
from the-grey-one :
is it weird if i was picturing you as a redhead?
from bliss-sad :
"nothing wrong with being pessimistic, provided you don't take that negative energy and impale other people with it" Hahaha! I love you!
from loladesilva :
Annie hall was a good romantic-comedy, if you can call it that, but other wise yes they usually fail.
from secret-motel :
Ummm...do you have any "Christmas" pix of Stephanie?
from raven72d :
wuff! thank you! i try to be a very good little long-eared desert hedgehog.
from akasha90 :
i agree. most (i don't want to generalize) romantic comedies really do suck.
from raven72d :
I want...a chia pet triceratops!
from the-grey-one :
little brown looking maggots across my lap, haha eew!
from avantbedroc :
Aye! Sorry Captain, shudda said "yer"
from opposure :
it's quite obvious that i am not sweet. i just care.
from avantbedroc :
hello peach, i'm sorry, i can't play in fb land anymore. however, i do like playing in yr pants!
from raygirl999 :
Just a note to say raygirl *hearts* you. You are so lovely and nice and smart and fun!
from famelicose :
Red lipstick is the best.
from the-grey-one :
little motherfucking raptors indeed! i think we all know the sting of Other Talent.
from akasha90 :
it's nice to know i'm not alone. :)
from lust- :
Don't even really tweet anymore. I should take that thing off my diary..just added you on Facebook though. See you there!xo
from the-grey-one :
i am mostly an extinct creature on the social networking world at the moment. perhaps with time and preservation i will socially flourish, but for now iiim mostly just recluse'n it up. thanks so much though =) you're awesome as heck
from lust- :
You are too cute. Hope you've been well..xo
from omfggwtf :
no idea if you'll accept but i have requested you on facebook, haha! first person on DL to see my FB ;) it's marvelous.
from avantbedroc :
WORD motherfucker. i love u & the beastieboys
from frankie123 :
umm okay! facebook.com/kangsharon
from akasha90 :
i love the sushi! the big ones and the minis! so cute!
from opposure :
i'm really terribly sorry to hear about your father. i hope things work out for the best. xxxx
from raven72d :
You must go to YouTube and watch Misery Bear videos.
from raven72d :
he'd have to hold on to his hat and explain that he was a small bear from Darkest Peru...
from raven72d :
Pillows? Oh, my... Ah, yes.
from raven72d :
Jules and Vincent salt shakers! Yes!
from akasha90 :
ahh yes. i don't like hard boiled eggs and half the reason is the smell. hehe.
from akasha90 :
haha! i know! i didn't like it too much either. last time i went, it was with my grandparents and they didn't want to go into any roller coasters or any fast rides. i didn't even witness space mountain. hehe. i would only go once more since my boyfriend has never gone.
from raygirl999 :
You are very right. My friends are ridiculous but at the end of the day I guess they are harmless. It's bullshit that they do this crap but I will move beyond it. i don't need people bringing me down. Thanks.
from akasha90 :
hehe. i don't mind eating the value menu if it's from wendy's but i hate burger kind with a passion. but after gaining 15 pounds, i'm trying to stay away from fast food in general.
from raven72d :
I have an official Hamtaro hamster stuffling. And many small wombat stufflings.
from opposure :
Women, yes. If not for enigmatic creatures such as these, I should have no use for my gangly design.
from avantbedroc :
you and your plushy love... sometimes it's enough for me to call it quits with you but then i did some google searching, saw http://s10.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/0AA2FE18.jpg and got a hard on
from akasha90 :
whoever you quoted should have a word with my mother.
from atwowaydream :
please tell me you did so while singing "Last Goodbye". That's so nineties angst.
from avantbedroc :
was listening to Jeff Buckley last week & started to mourn the 90's so i soberly pierced my ear with a safety pin.
from secret-motel :
I hope you enjoy IJ. I found the first dozen pages a little confusing and wasn't sure if I would stay with it. Then I got to the part about Erdedy waiting for the woman who said she would come. And that's when I knew I was in it for the long haul. I am a sucker for novels that are both sad and funny.
from theways :
"fingerprints are one thing. but metaphors run dry eventually." ♥
from raven72d :
hey, darlin'... don't ever close this journal. and do add me at FaceBook...
from atwowaydream :
argh. your notes are turned off. but when you type that word it sends shivers through my frontal cortex.
from avantbedroc :
hey skank, missed you. i'm back for a bit, will make it up to you
from the-grey-one :
Heathers was more existential! and Mean Girls is severely lacking any form of Christian Slater...
from the-grey-one :
broccoli.. broccoli. i have just now learned how to spell this word.
from the-grey-one :
lol, loved brocolli! you have opened my minds eye to the person behind the vegetarian. shattered the stereotype! seriously though, i have been one of those people pointing things out on the menu. well not anymore i say, not anymore.
from secret-motel :
Have you ever read "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace? If you're looking for a big, seemingly endless novel, that just might be the one for you. I finally picked that up three or four years ago when I desperately wanted a big, seemingly endless novel to get lost in. I lugged that thing around for about three months before I sadly realized that it had an ending. DFW. He went away way too soon.
from bliss-sad :
I love your diary and you write so well, but I might have to protest you for a week or so if you blew up Gary Busey! That kind of crazy takes years to refine, man, and needs to be appreciated. =) Hope all is well, dear, sending you lots of love!
from raven72d :
Love the list. And making Carrot Top explode--- yes!
from the-grey-one :
oh man My So Called Life...my favorite episode was the one where the junkie girl sings on the street and then TAKES A DRINK OF ALCOHOL IN SLOW MOTION. haha that scene has stuck with me for some reason.
from doctorkaysen :
Even though I wasn't posting here I still came and read your diary occasionally. <3 After having this for so long it's kind of hard to break the habit of getting all angsty and thinking "I'M PUTTING THIS ON MY DIARYLAND LATER, HA HA SHOWED YOU." Also, if there is a hell somewhere and there is a Satan that lives in it, he sleeps on a futon.
from strayrecluse :
thanks, lover. x
from raygirl999 :
I hate passive aggressive. I like AGGRESSIVE AGGRESSIVE!!!! Don't have time for whiny bitches who try to make you feel bad. Bitch if I didn't feel bad before, your stupid mind-games won't make me feel bad now.
from raygirl999 :
FYI your friend sounds like a jackass. You don't "demand" apologies. You earn them because you have been wronged. If you get pimp-slapped in a forest and no one gives a shit does it count? NO BITCH GTFO!
from raygirl999 :
Hmmm an iPad, a Mac. We may be unable to be friends much longer....It's OK though, I think i know a few other Apple-friendly hipsters lol.
from raven72d :
i'll e-mail you about my FaceBook.
from raven72d :
Little Paddington is most well-traveled.
from raygirl999 :
You know mama raygirl worked in DC for ages? That's why I lived in VA for a long time. I LOVE DC. The Smithsonian and the Metro are my heart! Sexiness!!!
from raygirl999 :
Thanks so much! I'm so happy! We must hang out when I get back to the east coast!
from atwowaydream :
When I get drunk, I apparently leave notes for my friends in my own note section. My sense of direction is fucked.
from atwowaydream :
::stands up tall-like. makes herself look more presentable. fuck presentable. that's all i have to say.
from raygirl999 :
One day I will be profound AND profane. It is my ultimate goal. George Carlin and Richard Pryor did it, with humor to boot.
from raygirl999 :
I'm sad by what you have been through but happy you are here to share your thoughts and experiences with us. I don't have anything profound to say. I just hate to think how many good people are hurting or have been hurt in the past. I'm glad you are doing better and in a safer place.
from darthuae :
i didn't forget about you, i'm just doing some annual cleansing (the rubbish i accumulate on a yearly basis!) -- you have no idea how much you helped bring my centre of gravity back to its place (i'll elaborate thru email) x
from raven72d :
adele. yes.
from raven72d :
keep writing. always.
from raygirl999 :
You aren't vicious. You are clever and your wit is cutting. Not your fault that others get in the way of the blades.
from atwowaydream :
Dorothy Parker was tragic and beautiful. I'm abrasive and wily and ridiculous and coming out of the woodworks to fuck someone up. ::laughs::: i guess i'm silly. . . and vicious.
from raygirl999 :
In my mind you are blonde, fun and fabulous! I don't consider other people obnoxious. I like abrasiveness and if you are not I just consider that meekness or kindness. I am a loud, rowdy and forceful chica. I hold my liquor like a sailor and swear worse than one. It's funny, I stop drinking and I become less intelligent. My mind runs on alcohol. Like my beloved Dorothy Parker (I am nit nearly as witty as her of course)
from raygirl999 :
Drunk, tall and obnoxious, but well-meaning :-) I just get so excited about things that I get chirpy, chippy, and totally crazy! Life can be fun when you know the right people and talk about the right things.
from raygirl999 :
Nooo she is not random, she is one of my best friends (claimed by her but I love her too). I bitch about her constantly but we have been through a lot together. It was nice to hear that someone loves me besides dear old mom and dad. I am NOT adorable! I am too old and too tall to be cute or adorable or anything that doesn't mean crazy and/or drunk.
from raygirl999 :
My heart says "more wine please. It's nice!"
from raven72d :
music... i have to have it with me always.
from frankie123 :
the first time i did e, i twirled around in somebody else's dress and lost my virginity. it was the best night of my life, i think, definitely up there. almost miss it
from raygirl999 :
She's a fucking suckass. She is 28 and I'm 30. It annoys me that she has no idea what she is doing. Oh great she told me to redo this whole thing in a new font with a new border, just cause!
from raygirl999 :
Haha I would just tell her "no" and see what she does. But that is mean so never mind I guess. I'm glad there was no FB when I was 15. Just poorly worded, overly-dramatic poetry that I thought was Pulitzer prize worthy. So much shame.
from raygirl999 :
That status update isn't even grammatically correct. And if they died tomorrow, how would they check Facebook to see if anyone cared?
from evanelle :
Happy Birthday!!
from swallowthkey :
happy birthday, beautiful. give this one a good story.
from raven72d :
I'm always and ever Three Years Old. But....Happy Birthday, girl!
from avantbedroc :
Happy birthday strawberry sweetie!!
from lust- :
HappyBirthday, love. Hope it's ace &that your cake is delicious!xo
from raygirl999 :
Happy almost bday!!!! Imagine I am over-aggressively nodding in excitement hahaha. I love birthdays! They are your own personal holiday!
from raygirl999 :
Hahaha I should NOT have been around Sunday night because I would not have been fun. I was busy nursing a hangover, writing a paper about The Graduate and sobbing because my beloved Spurs lost.
from lust- :
Much better than being boring, I s'pose..
from frankie123 :
(sucking dick -- thought i'd clarify. okay now i feel like a creep.)
from frankie123 :
i wonder if they have an app for that
from taken-by-you :
Ha ha, when I have Facebook chat turned on, it is for a few people I actually care to speak to - and never answer messages from the rest. Of course, I've never really been good at fitting into one-or-the-other categories.
from frankie123 :
thinking about the death of books reminds me of the death of letters and that makes me sad because i don't lament the death of letters even a little, but living in a world without books seems impossible. like, i mean, the y2k generation will probably prefer ipad files to library loans, and we'll just be the annoying old farts bleeding over The Way Things Used to Be. i don't know. thinking about people even younger than me feels so odd.
from raygirl999 :
Lovely lady I just got home from a fabulous drunken bender last night. Do not tempt me because I WILL find a melon baller and show the world how it's done.
from loladesilva :
"But when I don't write. . . well, that tends to happen when a sci-fi watercolor splatters its way into my world as fumbling and unapologetic as a toddler." yes yes those slips that end up being great plummets
from raygirl999 :
*shhh* You are secretly my fave DL person. We must chat for real. NO AIM! It gave me a virus. I'd give you my cell # so we can text but I lost your e-mail address.
from raygirl999 :
YES you are like me! I hate the disdainful looks and passing judgment that a lot of vegs do today. I really do want people to eat what they want. And I am now drunk. And I love it.
from raygirl999 :
As long as it's not the Prez I think it's cool. I have now infiltrated your FB world because I felt the need to inject a little vegetarian opinionated nonsense into your convo. Sorry! But seriously, I want that damn bread. I WANT IT!!!! So pissed. Need more wine.
from raygirl999 :
The suspect is the maintenance man who came to fix the dishwasher. He hates me because he never fixes anything right and I complain. He is a roll thief. I have no shots but I have wine. I am a wino and proud of it!
from raygirl999 :
Apparently someone broke into my house and stole a roll lol. I know I did not eat it (it was there this morning) and it's gone. I need you to swear at them and make them give it back. It was ciabatta!
from raygirl999 :
Hey can you use some of that wrathfulness on my enemies too? I have a few people who need the fear of God put in to them.
from opposure :
Just stopping by to say hello. Is loitering allowed?
from raven72d :
you, darling, manage to make me feel confident...
from the-grey-one :
for me its "living life to the fullest!" i just want to take that phrase and shove it up an asshole that has previously been filled with shards of glass.
from raygirl999 :
Just say you are high on Charlie Sheen. Just remember its not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. OK I think i may have finally worn myself out on all the fab Charlie Sheen quotes. He needs to bring me some more crazy so I can update my repertoire.
from warpednormal :
hahaha! speaking of which, in order to join me on this battle you must add me on facebook :) facebook.com/palacola. awesome sauce, i know. <3.PS. your words are still so beautiful. man
from the-grey-one :
also props on your convo with your dad!
from the-grey-one :
I am feeling much better, thanks =) unfortunately anxiety and mood swings are something im just going to have to deal with for awhile as my body and mind adjust... nothing to do but wait it out!
from raven72d :
sounds like a fun trip.
from the-grey-one :
thanks for the support =)
from the-grey-one :
"the slots sucked my quarters up like paris hilton's vagina" Hahaaaaaaa, thanks for the laugh! it was desperately needed
from the-grey-one :
"the slots sucked my quarters up like paris hilton's vagina" Hahaaaaaaa, thanks for the laugh! it was desperately needed
from raven72d :
i hope the trip goes well.
from lust- :
Hope you'll have a brilliant time wherever you may be.xo
from nessus :
Agreed. Le sigh. So pretty.
from taken-by-you :
To be completely honest, I miss writing here - but I feel there is just too much to say now. I avoid coming here because I don't want to face it all, to give the update that goes through everything, up to this point. A full update is coming, as leaving this vacant makes me feel almost overwhelmed... but for now I only have drunken poetry and foreshadows. I'm better at communicating on Facebook, but put nothing important. I talk more on Twitter, but it's all vague.
from darthuae :
"Sometimes, it's like, your soul could never be tiny enough to inch its way into the little peepholes of headphones." ....hence requiring the need to "depress". you see. i get it.
from corposant :
Thank you for your note. I included some of my favorite dream scenery in that, some of my best-loved nightmares.
from corposant :
"...lord knows what it means." Ha! I feel that a lot when I write. I hope it means I'm getting it right.
from theways :
your words are an entire world to me. i find a comfortable spot to hang my thoughts in each of your entries. so much, often, i can't bring myself to close the tab or change the page after i've read one. i let it open for a while, just sitting there with the feel of it, and i go on with my evening and web motion and just close the tab as i go to bed. just in a way you'd leave a book on your night stand or a special place for months because it just can't be put back amongst the other books. now, i know you love words so you'll understand that i'm not a creep haha, just really touched by the load and spectrum of emotions that your diary carries. whatever you do, never forget or doubt your talent. you ought to write a book.
from raven72d :
I hope always to be Three...or able to imagine that I'm Three...and sit with stufflings in a blankie fort or a box fort and be Quiet & Still.
from dinahsoar :
Love "Figment". Personally, I prefer velveteen to silk.
from raygirl999 :
Haha I read your note and I was like "WTF whiskers?" Then I remembered I had asked you about that the other day. ARGH caffeine makes me forget things too lol.
from raygirl999 :
I have to ask, as someone who has had cats since birth, does cutting the whiskers really make them walk funny? Do the whiskers really never grow back? Because i have suck an urge to trim (NIT cut) my kitty's whiskers and I know it affects how they walk BUT if they grow back I will not feel as bad. And they will be even. And God I sound crazy don't I...? nevermind....
from raven72d :
i trust you on these things. i always do.
from ping-island :
if only i could! but it would be like hitting a child, in that, no matter what, i would be the villain. :|
from raven72d :
how could they *not* love you?
from thruthecrowd :
At 17 I found out I wear the exact same shoe size as Tori, and ever since then so many dreams have consisted of trying on all of her wonderful shoes while she serenades me with new music. *heaven*
from avantbedroc :
Miss Bag
from raven72d :
fire engine red....yes. go for it!
from thruthecrowd :
<3!
from darthuae :
you are my true friend as well.
from warpednormal :
happy love day, dear
from dinahsoar :
Now, when you start fantasizing about replacing your plushies ... well, that may just be the time to take this idea even deeper and explore what you may be running from, rather than to. Intimacy, perhaps? I'm just saying.
from frankie123 :
"It felt super gay to type hope chest. " bahaha you just made my shitty saturday night a little better
from raygirl999 :
It's funny, you remind me of the other girl who was baby-sat with me. She was awesome! It was back when I lived in Virginia. She was the mart one who stole the key. yeah parents can be idiots. But how can i blame them? Being in charge of a child must be so difficult.
from raygirl999 :
Thanks! I feel like we all look for diaries of people that remind us of ourselves in some way. I usually find one diary I like and troll their buddy list for new diaries to read lol. usually that works minus the occasional creeper. It's weird; we get very open and honest in our diaries which can also lead to being overly dramatic. At what point do you offer comfort and at what point do you just let the person vent? Who can say? We are all different. I am feeling good right now and I really appreciate all of my DL friends :-)
from raygirl999 :
You are just too damn awesome. I wish we were IRL friends because we would rock this shit! I just ordered Chinese food and I have a half bottle of wild turkey whoops or woohoo?
from raygirl999 :
There can NEVER be too much purple! He crossed the line when he moved into my neighborhood. I'm about to throw down!
from raven72d :
i'm always a pessimist who romanticises seeing the next disaster...
from dinahsoar :
Hope this doesn't qualify as "beautiful bullshit", but I think I know what you mean about the mirror. I learn a lot from your self-reflection. Thanks.
from raygirl999 :
I like the way you think! I have a plan for next week now...
from raygirl999 :
People ARE born cynical just like some people are born extremely optimistic. No matter how much I've tried and studied and wanted to be optimistic, to be bright-eyed and in love with the world, I can't. That's life and the world needs all kinds.
from raven72d :
i haven't listened to him in years, but i do love that video and song...
from raven72d :
i can't dislike Sting quite as much as you do... the long-form video for "fortress around your heart" is an old favourite.
from avantbedroc :
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lge9urybiH1qb7o7ko1_500.png
from avantbedroc :
mm that burning feeling or rage you get when you can sense people assessing you while you are talking to them
from sephiragrace :
I was thinking about how thankful I am not to be in Egypt as well. I'm glad we are not there and I'm glad you are in wv and i am in md. :)I hope you are feeling better.
from darthuae :
agree, the police, don't sing about it. also, sting, your sweaters are ugly.
from the-grey-one :
"Get a restraining order and don't sing any more songs about it." Ha Ha!
from raygirl999 :
Ugh he is disgusting and I pity his wife. Can you imagine having to have sex with him for like 5 hours? I think I'd fake a coma or something. He makes my skin crawl. Seriously his big hits are about young girls/hookers hitting on him. As if loser. YOU ARE NOT HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from raygirl999 :
Haha I think you may actually hate the police more than i do. And sting with his nasty obsession with tantric sex needs to stop. seriously. just stop old man.
from omfggwtf :
thank you ^_^ i can always count on you to say something lovely. makes me smile. ah, my facebook is not very interesting. i basically just secretly stalk everyone on there without being seen.. i'll be screwed if one day there is a way to find out who's been viewing your profiles, oops! but yeah, first impressions aren't nice most of the time. some people! x
from raven72d :
beth orton. yes. yes. yes.
from u-saved-me :
That was me too. I was obsessed with the Holocaust when I was young. Ages 7 through 12. Bought every book about it I could find (most of them through the book order at school). I disturbed the shit out of myself, but the willow in the backyard kept me company.
from strayrecluse :
<3 another problem with this illness is you think that you are weaker than you actually are.
from dinahsoar :
You are so real, Serena. I love that! Do you know how many un-real people are walkin' around out there?
from xnamehere :
it's soooo good!
from darthuae :
i love you selena, i love you i love you. and i'm thankful you're here.
from raygirl999 :
I loved your letter to yourself. I should write one too! You definitely have a buddy in me :-)
from candoor :
moments at diaryland after being away a year, more or less, and i stumble into your words and wonder what mithral mail might be, if i recalled the spelling correctly... and most of all, hope you find better news tomorrow and thank you for your perspective, your positivity, and your words :)
from opposure :
I have two types of "buddies" here on DL: those who's diaries I like to read and those who I've decided I would actually want to be friends with. You fall into the latter category. xx
from raven72d :
You do have friends... And I for one will always be a supporter, girl.
from swallowthkey :
today seems to be a day of bad news... i got a lot of it myself. -hugs-
from lust- :
Probably. All I remember are his eyes, which are what scared me and woke me up..
from raven72d :
"appropriate" works as a verb in postmodern art... and in Southern etiquette for thank-you notes and condolence cards. other than that...I don't do "appropriate". as for the rest of the world, if they don't appreciate us, well...we have the trained ice weasels to deal with them. and we'll go hear Patrick Stewart read aloud from "Donkey-Raped Cheerleader".
from raven72d :
my dear, never ever worry about going "too far" around me. so far no one in living memory has managed to offend me. and you know what my sense of humour is like.
from raygirl999 :
email me at raygirl999@yahoo.com
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much! I'm touched that my words touch you.
from famelicose :
Thank you <3
from raygirl999 :
Hmmm maybe I am crazy or I set my privacy settings like a moron. Can you send me a message? Then maybe I can friend request you. I have a feeling I'm an idiot lol.
from gonzoprophet :
it took me a while to figure out the answer to what should've been an easy question. but..though the timeframe necessitated involving things that will probably get it called scifi, i personally consider it much more of a modern fairy tale
from u-saved-me :
Almost as good as listening to a person speak at length, when they have an accent.
from u-saved-me :
I adore the stories that go with tattoos... I love peeking into their lives by looking at their ink. Amazing.
from dinahsoar :
Wow! I LOVE your writing!
from raygirl999 :
I want lots of FB friends! All of the people I have now are high school people who I don't even actually know. I just woke up from a nap so my Saturday night is just starting even though it's now Sunday lol.
from raygirl999 :
Haha I totally passed out thinking about the Soup and Talk Soup and when I woke up it was on! Well after I watched like 3 hours of Law and Order it was on. Gchat is just having Gmail so you don't have to install anything. That's why I love it. i swear I am prone to viruses. Perhaps because my computer is from 2005 and I have no virus scan software. I'm lucky I haven't gotten more viruses! I tend to not download anything though.
from raygirl999 :
YES Joel is the awesomest but Tosh is a lovely little skinny sarcastic lovely substitute. I've also watched The Dish a few times and it's pretty good. it has the chick from Boy meets world. I refuse to learn peoples' names apparently. It's always guy with skunk hair and girl from random show hahaha. You must get Gmail so we can Gchat! Gmail is fab anyway.
from raygirl999 :
You shiut the fuck up!!! Crucnch berry cinnamon toast crunch!!!??? OMG I am dying I want it. I LOVE the SOUP and now I watch community too and it's awesome. I used to watch the old school talk soup with greg (wtf is that his name?) the guy with the grey streak, aisha and hal sparks!!! I love TV. And I also love Tosh.O so funny!
from raygirl999 :
Hahaha I am drunk but I read your entry and 1) I love schwag weed 2) I love alcohol even vodka 3) I LOVE CINNAMON toast crunch 4) what the fuck i forgot but yeah Wendy Williams baddass!!! And I got rid of my vomputer virus super easy peasy so no worries. Yay for fun times!
from omfggwtf :
thank you ^_^ yeah thankfully it's kind of gone now i've been to sleep hahaha. woo! x
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note. Don't even worry about the AIM thing, it's my stupid fault for not having a virus scan. And now I have one so yay! It's funny on the way to work I was thinking that using the internet without a virus scan is like having sex without a condom. Use protection! How ironic would it be if I have another virus to go with my computer one. But yeah the lady said it was minor and I probably have an infection but I felt like being emo for a day.
from frankie123 :
intellectual zombie pick-up line: mind if i pick your brain? gosh darn do i love em awful jokes!
from raygirl999 :
Well...I tried to install AIM again and got some lovely viruses trying to attack my computer. Getting rid of them now. I have gchat
from raygirl999 :
Haha I HAVE been drinking so please disregard any typos/insane ramblings. I lent my Sedaris books to my best friend in NYC and he left them in his house in the Poconos and now lcaims he never had them. Like my other friend who I lent Pulp Fiction to and he "lost" as well. I only have Barrel Fever now which is my least fave because half the book is fictional stories when his strength is definitely humorous essays. Check my diary for pics of my bookshelf, which i LOVE! I found it on the streets of NYC and my roomie and I drunkenly carried it up 6 flights of stairs.
from raven72d :
Indeed.
from raven72d :
I would've been a moneyed invalid... Neurasthenic, they'd say. My nerves would've kept me from going out into London or Paris streets. I'd have stayed home sipping wine laced with opium and reading...or hiring lovely and genteely-impoverished misses to read to me. I'd have had the walls of my rooms soundproofed and kept heavy drapes closed. I may still do that.
from raygirl999 :
Hahah drunken notes are the best! I already spend way too much time on DL anyway so DL + alcohol = awesomeness!! Smashed was one of the worst books I have ever read. I was so disappointed. I saw this other book about this lady's struggle with alcoholism that I wanted to buy recently at Barnes and Noble. I forgot the name but I think it's a fairly new release. Do you like David Sedaris? I read his books too because he is hilarious of course and I love memoirs.
from raygirl999 :
THANK YOU! Finally someone who shares my rage at these idiots. They do one rep on the machine, giggle for 10 minutes and then stare at the cute boys at the gym. STOP GETTING IN MY WAY! If you don't break a sweat you aren't doing it right.
from darthuae :
sometimes i find myself in a stranger's car with no old receipts to write on the backs of, and it's those sometimes when i take the odd-shaped world out of my pocket (a cellphone, out of everything), immediately click-click-clicking to read your diary in the dark//you don't know how much the words you write calm me down and mute the strangeness around me to an almost familiarity.
from raven72d :
writing does make things Real...
from nessus :
So good.
from u-saved-me :
mmm Garbage...
from kabukicharms :
O' and I had a crush on Chris Hardwick's hair from its Singled Out days. There is an episode of Boy Meets World where Eric and Chris just stare at each other and compare hair.
from kabukicharms :
Man I've had a crush on Shirley since Angelfish!
from raven72d :
Shirley Manson...oh God, yes.
from omfggwtf :
eeep thank you ^_^ ♥
from evanelle :
*grins* Of coarse.
from gonzoprophet :
(btw : i think i'm going to have to somehow work a countess bathory game into my novel - which is, subsequently, set something like 300 years in the future)
from raven72d :
and the girl is here tonight... sometimes the magic works.
from famelicose :
the doctor is too kind. As are you.
from raygirl999 :
Thank you so much! I need the encouragement and recognition to keep going on my quest for health this year. I appreciate it very much.
from raven72d :
i try to be useful.
from raven72d :
you should read the lovely Famelicose... she's a delight.
from dinahsoar :
I really love today's very poignant entry. I, developed a lifelong friendship (we met at eleven and still have dinner together once a week). I was not a "soch" or even a popular kid, but we had and have great times together. I also had a hamster, Timmy. I'm so sorry about Honey. I know you ended on a funny note, but that had to be so horrible and painful for you.
from the-grey-one :
Haha! Loved your latest entry! I also absolutely love Stephen King's It simply and purely because of his ability to create that kid universe so fucking well. Another great one is Boy's Life by Robert Mccammon. Pure Childhood.
from lust- :
Yes! It makes life much better. Hope you're well, dear.xo
from raygirl999 :
Wow two entries in a row that seem like they are speaking directly to me! I love Daniel Tosh and just finished reading IT two days ago. Very cool!
from kabukicharms :
Daniel Tosh is fine and all, but what about that Chris Hardwick!
from gonzoprophet :
i agree fullheartedly. "Spinach is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it when you're an adult."
from avantbedroc :
I know it's and old game but ; Leisure Suit Larry. QUOTE "The games follow him as he spends much of his life trying to seduce attractive women"
from darthuae :
darko: i get the exact same feeling after reading the master and margarita.
from kabukicharms :
WoW ate my soul. However no where near as much as Ragnarok did.
from u-saved-me :
ps, Im hoping I have a writer heart... Im still in the midst of my million words of crap before I get to the good stuff.. My goal is 5 years to have something that someone will want to pay money for. :D
from u-saved-me :
I love WoW... Enjoy!!!!
from strayrecluse :
whatever you do, do not play wow!! i played on and off for 4 years and it seriously sucks the life out of you, it becomes so addictive. to get anywhere in that game you have to play everyday for 8 hours at a time. i'd suggest grand theft auto. ;)
from raven72d :
exactly.
from raven72d :
i feel the same way about some books and films and their characters.
from avantbedroc :
hello kitten. please do not take my internet world absence to heart. i have missed you and your many flavours xx
from lust- :
I get ID'ed mostly everywhere I go that requires you to be a certain age as well. I went to a bar once and the bartender asked to see my ID and I was all, "It's cause I'm Asian.." Then he asked to see my friend's ID and she was all, "It's cause I'm white.." He got a kick outa that. Then he told us we don't look our age. We could both probably pass for 17 when we're closer to being in our mid-twenties. I think once we're all about 50-something we'll appreciate it more..
from dinahsoar :
Tiger Beat was cool and sheep are humble and cute and warm and fuzzy. I think I'm still in the running for friend because I quite agree that Peeps are ... well, I can't put it any better than you ... ew!
from secret-motel :
RE: "not anymore". I don't know why someone gets so bent out of shape in regard to someone else's sexuality. It must be awfully painful when it's coming from your own family. All I can do is offer warm hugs from this distance.
from raven72d :
drunk? not quite yet!
from raven72d :
true, darling.ms. neko is brilliant.
from raven72d :
i always fall in love with characters in books...like the girl in "Low Tide" or the girl in "Pretty Little Dirty". And I can't imagine telling someone I liked that I couldn't speak to them because they were gay.
from dinahsoar :
I love "Picture". I am the same. I fell in love with some nihilistic character from Turgenyev's Fathers & Sons years ago. I'll have to reread it to see if my love is still true. I also wrote a love letter to Nathaniel Hawthorne years ago. And I had a poster of Shakespeare on my bedroom wall, rather than a rockstar!
from dinahsoar :
Well, I've always had a special place in my heart for the Amish. They make great furniture & I love the low-tech life (in theory ... here I am on the computer)! As for the Southern "dish" ...ew! So am I still in the running?
from loladesilva :
" soft mendicant words falling like dead birds in the dark street. . . . "No . . . No more . . . No ms " this being connected to my other note.
from loladesilva :
I absolutely adore William S. Burroughs
from loladesilva :
I absolutely adore William S. Burroughs
from raven72d :
you are so delightful and fun--- i do the same about wanting to drink with literary ghosts...
from dinahsoar :
LOVE "Throw the Stone, Keep the Pen"! Amazing! You are a powerful writer! So poetic & evocative! And you so exactly described the writer's mind, heart & soul!
from dinahsoar :
Now, see, I thought that was a typo for "Snapple"! I've never even heard of "Scrapple", so I'm still in the running for friend, right? You said there was wiggle room on the Gummy Worms (how do you feel about the bears?).
from the-grey-one :
"Come up drenched in resurrection" nice line!
from raven72d :
i try to have good tastes...
from theways :
your last entry is beautiful
from dinahsoar :
You lost me at the Gummy Worms!
from omfggwtf :
i didn't see your note! but yaaay hamsters ^_^ cartoonish dinosaurs are amazing x
from raven72d :
i love Anne Sexton. And scrapple is just scary.
from darthuae :
is that my dream on your head? you're lovely, tipsy absolutely lovely, and i would have totally stolen your beanie had it not been for the last lines (oh me, slut for 'no') x
from loladesilva :
yes i believe many do but i cant be sure I had not planned on keeping that entry very long seeing as only one person was meant to read it and i was rather high when i wrote it...but frankie convinced me to atleast wait till ive sobered up.
from omfggwtf :
your hat, so cool ^__^ you beaut! xx
from dinahsoar :
I think your Cookie Crisp entry says it all. That could BE your letter. It is very poignant and conveys the innocense of a child and the intentiions of a parent. I found it lovely.
from dinahsoar :
I love your entry. Right now, I'm "crushin'" on the Brontes! Just can't get enough! I sat on the floor at Ilyad, a used bookstore, yesterday forever (and never left the Bronte shelf)!
from raven72d :
wuff! you are a dear friend and good over-the-aether Voice. i'm glad i know you!
from opposure :
Thanks so much - you are (a) dear to me. I think I'd like to establish a new sexuality - one that is genderless and is only measured by extreme intensity and characterized by bouts of idealistic devotion.
from raven72d :
i first read about lesbians in a book called "one more step" that i found in a garbage dump whwen i was 12... c.1960 semi-porn novel, though amazingl different in that the girl stayed with her female lover and didn't go back to her husband... but in any case, as a male (however older and pervy), i still like you a lot...
from swallowthkey :
i have a theory that the earth is so fucking sick of human beings that it is getting ready to systematically destroy us and all of these weird natural disasters are just a prelude to our imminent destruction. the earth is going 'you have time to change your ways, these are your warning signs, DO SOMETHING', and if we don't, that will be it. the earth will just swallow us whole and regenerate itself for another dominant species.
from raven72d :
the fairy-tale breadcrumbs... yes. follow them.
from omfggwtf :
it's actually beyond horrible! i'm panicking so much about how badly i want a nice shower or bath ahaha. goddamn house!
from raven72d :
Gizmo is most cool and quite pettable.
from frankie123 :
oh, funny how it does that to some people. sucks to be you!
from frankie123 :
you just need some good ol' fashioned marijuana
from raven72d :
i'm a big fan of Hamtaro: little hamsters, big adventures!
from theways :
thank you :)
from lust- :
Thanks, love. I really needed that. Hope you found your way to dreamland eventually..xo
from strayrecluse :
viruses are actually very simple. they just mutate too fast for us to keep up.
from frankie123 :
nooo we only look that way cuz we're surrounded by so much smoke! haha
from strayrecluse :
happy new year, love. you're beautiful. x
from raven72d :
is that a Hamtaro eraser? i love Hamtaro!
from secret-motel :
I always eat too much unicorn meat during the holidays.
from omfggwtf :
haha! but us bitches ALWAYS come back ;) xx
from omfggwtf :
you're here :D ♥ xx
from frankie123 :
don't tell me you're over being super cool writing in an online diary. i want your password.
from raven72d :
what's all this p/w nonsense?
from raven72d :
happy year eleven, beautiful friend!
from omfggwtf :
i hope you have a lovely new year, and i hope you maybe come back! xxx
from warpednormal :
haha yeah, its pretty sweet! i just have no idea how to use it...maybe i'll make a banner..yes. PS. my dear, where have you gone? hope you're not permanently locked...:)
from swallowthkey :
moment of panic. why are you locked? is everything alright? -flail-
from opposure :
I hope you're ok. Hugs.
from secret-motel :
Aww, you're all locked up. May I have a skeleton key? Pretty please? You can email it to drowning13@hotmail.com. If not, I totally understand. Sometimes, it's nice to be able to write things that won't be seen.
from doctorkaysen :
I think I will probably die if I can't read your diary anymore. :(
from raven72d :
i have pretty much no friends left here. my friends are all voices online or on the phone. but some have been very loyal and kind and i do care deeply about them.
from secret-motel :
Yeah, I'm with you on the e-reader thing. I see people with those things on the streetcar. I clutch my paperback for extra security. It's a "me vs. them" thing. Plus, I'm nosy. I like to be able to look at the cover and see what other people reading. It's always thrilling when I see other people reading books I've read and loved. Not so easy to do when they've got a goddamn Kindle. Fuck those things. I believe in making work for trees.
from pridegrl :
hey there ... emailed you. just checking to be sure you got it.
from nessus :
Thanks you :)
from raven72d :
reading the manual is a sign of failure.
from lust- :
MerryChristmas. Hope it's ace.xo
from omfggwtf :
hahaha it's cute ;)! and yeah.. i think i have been forgiven. i shall have to grovel an awful lot tonight!.. i wish i wasn't so much of an inconsiderate bitch sometimes, gah! oh well. again, have a nice christmas xx
from omfggwtf :
have a lovely christmas you beaut ^________^ xxx
from frankie123 :
fire/fly <3
from raven72d :
even "buckle down, winsocki" and "dead in the coach up ahead"...
from raven72d :
i'd at least sing odd songs to cheer you up.
from lust- :
Ah. Well, I say revel in the kid within. But, that doesn't mean you have to play all those lame FB games. Just, stuff your face with good food and don't care about the consequences! Though, it may be easier said than done for some..Hope you have a rad day.xo
from raven72d :
"disgruntled pedophile" is a great phrase.
from theways :
totally feel you on the annoyance of facebook games. but then the annoyance turns into a deep sadness where i'm like... oh my god, humanity is BORED out of its mind, this is so sad.
from lust- :
Here's to high standards! Imagine me holding up a chicken drumstick in the air, or, a big piece of chocolate cake. Are you as much of a foodie as I am?
from robiin22 :
hello! :) . just pass by~
from omfggwtf :
:D i thought you might like it ;) and yeah, i'd probably do the same, maybe add some red icing for bloody effects ;) oooooh they are cute ^__^
from opposure :
I know you meant well by your comment about people with clean souls not being worthy of knowing. But I'm curious, did you intend for it to be commentary on my personal desire to acheive this state, or were you perhaps trying to explain why my friend wouldn't want to respond? I appreciate your attention.
from sephiragrace :
You are so sweet. I love choirgirl, its one of my favorites. I was listening to tori earlier, some of her b-sides. I was finally able to charge my ipod, it does help. Thank you <3<3
from raven72d :
is nestor the donkey? i like small donkeys--- it's the eeyore thing.
from the-grey-one :
"What you need is the ability the not type/say whatever you're thinking when you're a wee bit tipsy. What you need is mental help. And for someone to take away your computer. And possibly your Ipod." ... hahaha this resonated deeply with me
from strayrecluse :
no it didn't. you always think of the perfect thing to say, love. <3
from raven72d :
we all need soundtracks.
from kabukicharms :
Oh I think it isnt Christmas spirit so much as I just like sending things out. Christmas is a good excuse. However, who doesnt love getting things in the mail, especially around this time of year. Hey and if I can make even one person smile, well, mission accomplished, neh? So am I including you in the drawing pool?
from raven72d :
i favour steel nibs or fountain pens, but I like your style. And Russian tea--- very black ---goes well with rum.
from strayrecluse :
that "existing" entry was beautiful. everyone who feels the urgent need to write things down thinks that way.
from raven72d :
everyone needs a small nook for writing. and perhaps a cup of Russian tea with dark rum.
from dinahsoar :
Thank you for understanding.
from evanelle :
Perfect. ^_^
from evanelle :
A good idea, but i prefer them hanged.
from evanelle :
I would take credit, but i doubt it is an orignal idea. We've already seen killer Santas.
from evanelle :
Knowing me i would attempt to bring him inside, but i don't mom would appreciate the huge puddle on the floor. Clay is also an option, but i'm already out. My bf is getting a white tiger pendent for christmas that i made. And if i managed to bring him inside, he would sit next to the bloody santa. Someone missed Halloween, and Jack Frost just wasn't enough.
from dinahsoar :
Merry Christmas! Did you see Polar Express? You are one who can still hear the bell! And, of course, "Unless you can be like a little child, you cannot enter the Kingdom of God" - Jesus
from evanelle :
It would be quite a sight, a snowman with 4 arms and no head.
from omfggwtf :
hi ♥.. i'm sorry about always doing this hahaha. i went mental.. oops.. i think i am okay for now. OH DEAR. i'm playing this game at the moment, it's called "how long can you be a normal girl for?" :D i'm enjoying it.
from u-saved-me :
I sent the user/pw to the email on your profile. :)
from swallowthkey :
gus-gus is ADORABLE. and i do the same thing to my sister's fat cat, whose name is bebe but no one ever calls her anything but butters (after butterball turkey, because she is rotund).
from raven72d :
try henrymakow.com (it's appalling yet hilarious)
from raven72d :
i just found a wonderful lunatic website that claims that if your body's pH is at least 7.4, you're immune to demonic possession and hence will never be gay. it doesn't say if you should cover yourself in baking soda or teeth-whitening strips.
from secret-motel :
Thank you! I needed that. I somehow buried my own shovel, which is probably right up there with running myself over with my own car.
from raven72d :
I'll take it...with the wasabi dipping sauce.
from dinahsoar :
Ooops! Sorry! I didn't realize you have pictures posted (at work, I can't access Photobucket - I'll have to check them out when I get home)! Can't wait!
from dinahsoar :
Loved your Albert Cat Fish! Pictures?
from raven72d :
i want stir-fried cattle river with no result!
from bliss-sad :
I do that to my chubby little guy, too!!! Everyone always looks at me like I'm crazy, but a fat, gushy, kitty belly is completely irresistible!
from kabukicharms :
I love that show! The deaths of the ignorant just make me happy. My favorite is the drunk guy that stumbled on a group of Furries and wanted to get his furry on. Instead of rubbing up on a costumed person he tried to sodomize a real live bear.
from avantbedroc :
I can not see what is in front of me. I HAVE NEVER READ YOUR DIARY NAME AS IT WAS INTENDED. omg, how could i have missed it?? i always tossed up between at-wow-ay-dream & atwo-way-dream -hence my stooooooooopid question. BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!
from the-grey-one :
my tattoo is just the word spider on my left wrist written in my own handwriting. spider is my totem insect. there is more of a tale there, but im not done writing it yet. =p
from dinahsoar :
Wow! Today's entry is transformative! I hear that a bone that has been broken and healed is stronger than one that has never been broken.
from warpednormal :
you are absolutely wonderful :) thank you.
from avantbedroc :
you can smack me for this - i was writing a note to opp & mentioned your diary name & was ever so unsure because in my head i have the hardest time trying to say your diary name.
from frankie123 :
"this is what you say: fuck you. i've harnessed my own tragedies like a wild horse and i'm still here and my eyes still flicker and then sometimes, the sunset does the same goddamn thing to me as it does to you. i get shivers." beautiful. / this is my favourite shangri-las song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy8_38U3xLU these girls were so badass
from raven72d :
stay alive. stay you.
from raven72d :
i try to be helpful, beautiful.
from omfggwtf :
hahahaha :D ah well.. maybe tomorrow. goddamn drink. it is the enemy!
from omfggwtf :
nope! it's gonna be a coldddddd and lonely night! ah well.. maybe another day ):
from raven72d :
i do remind people often that "waterboarding is always an option".
from raven72d :
i haven't had an xmas tree since the Year Four, but i did love the little Charlie Brown tree. (though the little Hello Cthulhu stufflings say they will decorate a Christmas monolith at R'lyeh)
from swallowthkey :
*hughughughughug* i am so sorry, love.
from bliss-sad :
Keep an eye on the mail; it's super duper late but I've FINALLY mailed you a mixtape. I hope you love it. Big hugs for the loss of Red; dogs are often the healthiest and most loving relationships we have. Sending you lots of love and positive energy!
from doctorkaysen :
She has a way with words, right? I'd give her her own blog but then no one would read mine anymore and my angst would get lost in the internet all alone.
from dinahsoar :
I am so sorry to hear about your dog. That must have been a horribly painful experience for you. Hope you take good care of yourself & eat plenty of comfort food - macaroni & cheese, Oreos.
from theways :
loved the bearded lady entry ♥
from omfggwtf :
:( sorry to hear.. xo
from frankie123 :
love and hugs
from in-alaska :
♥ :( much love.
from opposure :
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. *hugs* and for art, I do wrestle with my own perception of artists' irreverence for real, transcendent expression. How they can become so enraptured with the mandates of the creative process and style that they forget their own impetus for the act itself; which is to find their way back to the infinite, mired with fantastic flesh and faulty paradigms and a blind inner eye. We all forget sometimes. And thanks for being so wonderful ( again. ) you are one of the few people here that I would consider having a material friendship with. Please feel invited to email me if the thought ever crosses your mind.
from raven72d :
every small pettable soul counts, and affection and loyalty and kindness always matter.
from avantbedroc :
oh honey bunny, love red with all your heart and be as emotional as you wish. I had two cats die on the same day 9 years ago. how i miss them but oh how i loved them. p.s i have my wretched profile up now just for you and your ease. I rationalised it-not having my profile on was like me having my legs crossed together tightly and that is just not encouraging to a note nymph like yourself
from raven72d :
Condolences about your dog. Red looks lovable and like a lifetime companion. And I know that he was loved.
from xnamehere :
im so sorry about red, love. but im sure he had a long fantastic life... after all, he had you.
from avantbedroc :
Glad you are back. I'm worried cos i had to google boombox serenade. Where has my 80's brain gone!?
from bethshort :
heh. yes!
from atwowaydream :
ev: i will write soon. i like writing you. ♥
from raven72d :
well, Neil did do an album of all Randy Newman covers...
from ping-island :
oh my god, yes. and those things where the kid pushes to get some political thing done and OF COURSE whatever politician has to do it, because you can't say no to a dying kid. MAYBE IF I HAD A TERMINAL DISEASE MY CONGRESSMAN WOULD LISTEN TO ME TOO.
from raven72d :
I want neon flamingos and plastic reindeer antlers at Goth Xmas. I have never sinned enought to be condemned to Nickleback in hell.
from bethshort :
x
from avantbedroc :
was driving home past mcdonalds & saw yet again a loser on a scooter using the drive thru. my oh my if i had more spare time i would park my car in the parking lot and photograph all the losers on scooters riding through the drive through. THEN i would create a web page and document all of this numskull behaviour.
from bethshort :
my sympathies for having to visually digest a whole family of neon flamingos! eek. wiry and fucked up in the head! my favorite!
from lust- :
I always think of big hair and uncomfortable shoes when I think of prom. Definitely no regrets there. Hope you had a lovely weekend.
from frankie123 :
how could anyone ever not love you; you are so fucking pure and kind
from omfggwtf :
thank you for that ^_^
from darthuae :
i wanna ask if it's healthy how often i end up falling in love with you over & over again, but i don't think i care for health, really.
from bethshort :
i'm in the palm tree flamingo state of wacky tacky. unfortunately. but i do have an ocean to walk to. there's always that. defintely wine! at a wine bar too. there's one not far from me at all.
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much. You're lovely, too. Isn't it wonderful that we can hold up these mirrors for each other?
from bethshort :
damn. i'm quite far away, i'm afraid. well, if your ever here for any reason, we'll have coffee. damn! damn the internet for shrinking the world and making everyone so far away all at once!
from nessus :
I got to meet Sara once cause my friend is their cousin. I was all nervous uber-fan. Shook her hand, said how much I love their music and how I had run from the opposite end of downtown to catch their set and was about to run all the way back because I was technically still at work doing sound for another show at a different venue.
from nessus :
They are some of the hottest girls I've ever seen. They shot that video here, so I recognize some of the places in it.
from atwowaydream :
three curse words is just absurd. i would never agree with that kind of lifestyle.
from frankie123 :
3 'fucks' a day is a lot of cussing? since when?!
from omfggwtf :
hahahaha, that would be rather amusing.. and thanks! i feel so guilty about being the one who broke his lovely old one. so all these records are just sitting around doing nothing and i thought i'd finally do something about it. ain't i lovely!
from raven72d :
Absolutely, darlin'...!
from omfggwtf :
done! also, the first jurassic park is AMAZING! ahh man i haven't seen it in years.
from bethshort :
what's your closest metro? If I may ask. Love your latest, by the way. We could go get some really strong coffee somewhere & talk the day away while waiting for night.
from dinahsoar :
Your description of what we should all do for one another is my philosophy of therapy (and I'm a therapist). I always say that my job is to hold an undistorted mirror for my client, not the "fun house" ripply weird mirror that their families (or whoever may have contributed to their self loathing) have offered. Usually, it is a painful process. They resist seeing themselves in the clear mirror, because that would mean they would have to "betray" their families by making liars of them. Eventually, with a lot of trust meticulously built, they may start to catch glimpses of themselves in that clean mirror and actually start to question the old mirror's validity. So ... seen any good movies lately?
from lust- :
I met one of my good friends through dland. She lives in another country but I've already visited her twice and I'm going to be a bridesmaid in her wedding in a few months. It feels almost surreal sometimes. We form such personal connections with people through wires&computer screens. The ecstasy thing totally made me want to pop a pill and go swimming, by the way.xo
from raven72d :
girl, i'd love to take Ecstasy with you and just talk and talk all night... Or sit over glasses of wine and talk 'til sunrise.
from opposure :
Goddess, but was that ever a beautiful entry! <3
from omfggwtf :
^_______________^ good!! we could have a party with alcohol that doesn't include dirty vodka, and we could sit on dinosaur beds with velociraptorrrrr's eating at their legs with hearts surrounding them ;) .AHHHHH that siounds amazing to me.
from omfggwtf :
i love you, y'know. yuo write such beautiful stuff, s o beautiful oh my. i had to pause the music i was listening to so i could focus on your entry hahahaha, <33333333333 come drink with me in england! ;) aaaahghevkl.
from raven72d :
"Japanese kegels" is a great line.
from omfggwtf :
haha! nooo don't take your anger out on the dinosaur bed :( anything but that!
from kabukicharms :
Aww hahaa thanks that's pretty good advice. Next time I have a big box of used sharpees that are going for a little ride!
from raven72d :
it's Auteur Fetish--- having to live inside a book or film.
from raven72d :
beautiful girls or empty offices or streets full of cars--- it's all a screen for projecting my fantasies. i've always lived inside films-in-the-head.
from avantbedroc :
i was sitting here thinking, just one, i can surely sneak one in today - but then i saw your note - my guardian angel!! hrm. it is hard esp when every coffee was min a double or tripple shot. i did it before in may for...a 2 1/2 weeks? FAIL. it was painful. i have not got the headaches yet....
from dinahsoar :
You're way too ballsy to be tragic! Brilliant, yes!
from cybers1ut :
We weren't discussing your passion for writing, I have never shown my mother your writing. We were however discussing your self-destruction and cruelty and intelligence. But you stew in your self-aggrandizing revelry, whatever you need, honey.
from cybers1ut :
Whatever.
from avantbedroc :
i agree with bethshort :) and, i just made my notes more accessible - i love the whore at play
from bethshort :
"but we are creatures of adaptation, and this is our beauty, as it will be our downfall." Every time I think I've pinned down a quote for my comment about you under my favorite diaries you come up with something else stunning. It's infuriating...in a good way =)
from raven72d :
i love that first set of winter twilights, too.
from opposure :
Thank. I read your diary religiously as well. And in my own strange and anonymous way, I do care about you. :$
from raven72d :
i have a ginny who's my Designated Obsession.
from bethshort :
a little amazon is a dangerous thing. it's all electronic so you can't hear your billfold screaming as you purchase yet another ____________. Fill in the blank.
from atwowaydream :
avant: I can't comment on your notes because your profile doesn't exist, and this makes me want to commit suicide, because I am an OCD diaryland note whore. But I wanted to say thank you. :)
from omfggwtf :
<3
from omfggwtf :
HAHA oh nooo! i think that would make me cry.. well, i'm not sure.
from omfggwtf :
haaha :D it's sooo good oh my! i wish i had a bed like that :( ah well.. one day, one day...
from avantbedroc :
you are so fantastic, AND YOUNG!!
from omfggwtf :
i never want to be mature.. it sounds awful. AWFUL.
from raven72d :
i will always be either 3 or 28--- my two best years.
from bethshort :
very true. love your latest. xo
from xorbit :
I am reluctant to commit to "forever and ever", but I appreciate that you asked :)
from raven72d :
i like it that you appreciate stufflings.
from raven72d :
I feel the same way about foxes and little midnight animals. I do want everyone to be okay.
from omfggwtf :
i really like it! i hope it doesn't go downhill or anything hmm. is it on sundays? ahh good, now i know when to search for it aha x
from loladesilva :
Your latest entry with the steroid fueled ant hills on coke and the phallic sports cars was magnificent ...i just felt i should tell you that i thought it fantastic.
from bethshort :
show & tell, ah yes...we never really grow up do we?
from warpednormal :
ever since my dad got netflix (which is also a testament to our indulgent nature) i've been obsessed with documentaries as well. i just watched The Union:The business behind getting high. totally awesome, and totally about how we're profiting off prohibition and what not. hope all is well! keep the sushi pics coming ;)
from dinahsoar :
Lu-Lu Belle may just be your Mr. Miyagi. I'm just saying.
from bethshort :
there was also the bag lady coat. i'm not ready to remember yet...i will only say that it was checkered in neon...
from raven72d :
lulu belle! yay!
from dinahsoar :
Just read your entry & I think the bandana will go nicely with the huge coat!
from bethshort :
I had a horrible, and i do mean Horrible long white coat my freshman year of college--I thought it made me seem a little like Lisa in Girl Interupted...i called it my once and future mad housewife coat. i knew it was hideous and yet, it was so comfortable, and it looked so forlorn in the thrift store that well...I just had to, you know?
from dinahsoar :
Well, you could START with the bandana! Attitude is everything! That may just attract Mr. Miyagi!
from dinahsoar :
When the student is ready, Mr. Miyagi appears.
from dinahsoar :
Forgive me. I'm a therapist, so this and probably all dreams really grab me. I like the Gestalt take on dreams, in which all parts of the dream (even inanimate objects) represent fragmented parts of ourselves. The idea is to try to integrate all these parts, forming the whole "gestalt". You are to play aloud each part of the dream in the first person and see what you get. I especially learn from playing the inanimate objects, which might go something like ..."I am a library book. People use ME. Take me out. Maybe fold my edges. Leave indelible marks on me. Disrespect me. Maybe break my spine. Then pass me along to someone else. Maybe they forget about me altogether. Don't even remember to return me. I'm left in cars. Forgotten under piles of stuff. Buried. Low priority. Occasionally someone may love me enough to want to keep me. They may hide me away. Value me. Even break the "rules" to hang on to me." Okay? So those are just my thoughts. Yours will be the important ones. Do this alone and aloud. You'll be surprised. BTW, you are also the librarian who you are seeing as getting "used", "duped", a "vehicle" for someone else's wants. You are all the parts. This is a different perspective than villainizing yourself as "using people". I really don't think it's that. I don't know you, but I would suspect you have been used more than the user. Just a guess.
from opposure :
Gender as an exoskeleton, " something we peel off like the skin of a nectarine", that's just genius. And I agree. I've never really been completely sold on the idea of identifying myself with a sexual preference. I have always been obsessed with women, but sometimes it feels like it's because I admire the roleplay society allows women to indulge, the expression of sensitivity and emotion. Obviously, there is the purely aesthetical flavor of the female form, but that is no where near encompassing my attraction to femininity. Sometimes I find myself envious of the other script. Sometimes I want to be allowed to relate to myself the way I perceive that women do. And so the actual external biology is almost irrelevant. There may be something to internal differences, brain chemistry and all that, but I think there are varying degrees of these characteristics as well. What I'm trying to say is that I think much of the gender chasm seems behavioral, and some of that is learned; surely evidence to support your notion that only the thinnest veneer of a nectarine truely separates "us".
from loladesilva :
OH the Stanford prison experiment is so cool..... completely...
from raven72d :
there are such beautiful ones... see a set called "Kokoro: The Heart Within" about Japan...
from raven72d :
i love documentaries.
from loladesilva :
yes flowers of evil is wonderful...i dont know how i missed this one though...thank you very much.
from dinahsoar :
I understand the virtues of Xanax. It helped me tolerate the airplane that took me to Hawaii. It can weave a gossamer film between you and practically anything. As you know, that translucent bubble is not bullet-proof. Also, that film not only protects you from pain and perceived danger, but it "protects" you from real emotions. It can event take the edge off love. I can see why you are sad that you are happy about it. I just hope it doesn't take off the edge that drives your passionate entries. See what a nag I am?
from bethshort :
fun fact: if you fight sleep on xanax/ambien you will see things...lots of interesting things...
from loladesilva :
What poem is that Baudelaire quote from?
from raven72d :
my dear! A corner booth in the VIP area!
from lust- :
Thanks, love. I shall party it up this weekend in Amsterdam. Take care.xo
from raven72d :
excuse me...let's try not to scare them away from my table at the posh L.A. club, shall we?
from raven72d :
darlin', so many people already find me to be inherently evil...
from dinahsoar :
Thank you so much for reading me with such keen sensitivity. I really value your feedback. I think you are a stunning writer!
from bethshort :
*takes off flip flops,leaves them outside the door*
from raven72d :
i love photos of you... eyes that are melancholy and intense all at once.
from raven72d :
"Charlotte was pretty and she probably had eyelashes." I'd have said it for you.
from secret-motel :
But it's funny how sunsets are more inspiring to me than sunrises. Sunrise just makes me wish I was in bed in a dark room, hiding from the cooked blue sky of another day. But sunsets just get prettier and prettier. When the sun is down, the other stars come out. And the moon. And the streetlights turn on. And the air gets cooler. And the best radio programs creep out over the airwaves.
from secret-motel :
Sunsets. Definitely one of the most beautiful things in the world. Yes. And one of the most heartbreaking things.
from bethshort :
hello again. we all come a bit undone sooner or later right? all the better to expose the layers. x bethshort
from raven72d :
I've missed you, too. And I'm working on Dead Esquimaux Jokes. Though Dead Clown Jokes (and anything involving spontaneous human combustion) are always key...
from raven72d :
I keep thinking of Dead Soccer Mom jokes... After all, it's Halloween--- time for Dead Clown Jokes.
from raven72d :
should the legal situation actually allow for marriage equality, would *you* ever get married?
from doctorkaysen :
Thank you! Yep, Nora Nikita. She's two days old. It still feels surreal. That she's mine, you know? It's great. Weird but really wonderful.
from the-grey-one :
loved your last entry! who's perfect indeed
from dinahsoar :
Awwww ... don't be bashful! I enjoy the whole range of your entries! As for your mansion entry, I believe ghosts are bashful, too, and mostly enter at our courting. I woo ghosts on a daily basis ... ghosts of times past, people past, books past, records (yes, I believe they call them vinyl now) past, stuffed animals past (I just spent $50 on ebay to (re)buy my old Steiff "Lamby" (only 4 inches tall) and rooms past (I am recreating my first apartment in a back room (talk about labrynths!) and just found my original record player (GE Wildcat circa 1971) on ebay. Can't wait to spin my two original faves ... Alladin Sane by Bowie & Billion Dollar Baby by Alice Cooper! I think that ghosts are downright shy, but they know where they're welcome! And BTW, I really enjoy your potty mouth!
from secret-motel :
I toured the Winchester Mystery House with my family when I was maybe five years old. I was probably too young to appreciate it. I still remember the narrow twisting passages and the stairways leading up to brick walls. I had my biggest scare before the tour started. There was a little museum nextdoor. It was dimly-lit inside, with all these wax figures. I took one look at them and ran for the exit and wouldn't go back inside.
from dinahsoar :
Just read your diary all the way back to "mimosa" (had a lot of "down time" at work today)! Laughed through the videos (the drunkest guy looked like the "wrong guy" I wrote about today)! Went through a kaleidascope of emotions as I read! Just when I'd feel like crying, you'd hit me with something like that creepy David Caruso baby doll! I was raving on about your writing at dinner last night! You are amazing! Your diary is just thrilling!
from dinahsoar :
Damn! I just read Chinese Lantern and am completely BLOWN AWAY! Your writing gives me chills! It is like suddenly being understood by a complete stranger reading my mind! Thank you!
from dinahsoar :
Whoa! You are AMAZING! I laughed. I cried. I can't stop reading. I found your diary listed in one of my favorite's favorites. You temper your incredibly sensitive and poignant observations with a well-timed potty-mouth & funny, funny pictures!
from loladesilva :
its not cheesy its admirable
from loladesilva :
thank you ...i didn't realize you read mine.
from doctorkaysen :
My mom was so emotional after reading Old Yeller that she named my oldest brother Travis. Dog movies are the worst movies ever because you don't even have to like dogs for them to depress you. People movies are different because lots of people hate people.
from opposure :
I read your journal entries and they always seem to fill me with an urge to leave you a note saying how wonderful you are. And as I look at the other messages piled up on your page like soft little hugs, I see the sentiment is commonplace. I hope you are well. x
from secret-motel :
You are so awesome. Thank you for your kind words. Oh, and I'm not much for ewok from a can. But I do enjoy their entrails when they are fresh and still steaming.
from atwowaydream :
http://www.shinyshiny.tv/typewriter.jpg I want it too. We can be a group of pretentious writers who only associate with those who use "typewriter keyboards" because we're old-school and traditional and scoff at modern technology. Sort of.
from avantbedroc :
yeah Chris, typewriter keyboard
from nessus :
I want a computer keyboard made out of an old school typewriter.
from omfggwtf :
haaha! yeah it's horrible having it locked. i don't like being secretive 'cos i'm not that sort of person, but sometimes you feel like you have to haha. and that is fine :) x
from omfggwtf :
i wish i could write something as well as you, i'm jealous! x
from secret-motel :
Ha! I love those signs!
from frankie123 :
whoa! i had no idea you could do that! ha ha i love you!
from frankie123 :
re the pursuit of happiness: gorgeous
from the-grey-one :
thank you for all your well wishes =)__ your last entry made me feel a little sad. i hope one day you can laugh when you trip up. your self does not deserve the anger you direct toward it. try loving yourself next time, the same way you would love someone else if they fell.. you're a beautiful being.
from sephiragrace :
aw you're welcome. :)
from secret-motel :
I think the zombie apocalypse overwhelmed government a long time ago. It's always funny to hear millionaires pander to the public by demonizing other millionaires. The undead returned to life and seeking human victims is just a little bit less frightening than the politician determined to solve all our problems.
from sephiragrace :
You are amazing. ♥
from raven72d :
i must try "The Corrections", then.
from secret-motel :
You are so sweet. I would happily receive any hugs you have to offer. Another week is descending. And I am shovel-ready.
from raven72d :
any thoughts so far on names?
from avantbedroc :
haha! i didnt know about these things, what is she called? i tried looking & found this; http://musthavecute.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/662257fb-f096-46e3-bdb8-be9f34d48daa.jpg
from raven72d :
yes! you must have the new little stuffling!
from corposant :
Or learn to love storms and unsafe places?
from taken-by-you :
I generally get drunk often and already consider you a very good friend, in a d*land sort of way. Or maybe in a past life sort of way. I've never questioned it, I just adore you and think of you fondly. That sort of way. =) Write at your leisure. I am always around.
from frankie123 :
sharon was about to get pregnant. i read it in the dvd booklet; i bet brian would've ended up as the stand-in baby daddy once kyle ran away.
from frankie123 :
well, yeah, but later on he let angela try to drive his car, and even though she banged it up and he was really upset he still made out with her. like she took the place of the car in his heart, or something. that was a cute episode
from frankie123 :
i think the problem with guys in general is that none of them can be jordan catalano. i'm living on false aspirations, here, and it sucks!
from evanelle :
No worries, i understand. I'm just glad that your trip cheered you up.
from raven72d :
"Ice Ice Baby", yes!
from raven72d :
yay, little Sushi!
from raven72d :
why, thank you, beautiful...
from raven72d :
sounds like a fun vacation.
from sephiragrace :
you are welcome my sweet! I hope you enjoyed it! xoxo
from swallowthkey :
glad you are enjoying your insomnia, lovely. xoxo
from raven72d :
air kisses--- yes!
from raven72d :
air kisses--- yes!
from darthuae :
i don't know why your writing makes my heart beat really really fast, as if it's going YES YES YES.
from sephiragrace :
And don't forget to get on the haunted house ride, its on the boardwalk at the very beginning--trimpers rides. :)
from raven72d :
i love the line about marrying cliches.
from sephiragrace :
I've always loved Ocean City. I wasn't able to get there this year. Maybe late September? <3
from opposure :
No matter how f-cked up you believe you are "in real life", know that at least one person here in fake-world will accept you. That is because I have no choice - with the things I feel and have done, I'm disallowed from being too judgmental. xo
from raven72d :
have a shot of good rye whiskey for me.
from raven72d :
writing is always a compulsion, girl.
from raven72d :
i have to write all the time... i can't imagine not being able to write, whether online or in my notebooks. i will end up being Arthur Inman.
from secret-motel :
HH Holmes! I thought I recognized that name. Have you read Erik Larson's "The Devil in the White City"?
from xnamehere :
hell ya, trench coats are sweet!
from avantbedroc :
goodluck with farmville. reminds me of the show -the IT crowd "If you type "google" into Google you can break the internet - so please... no one try it, even for a joke."
from omfggwtf :
hahahah. i remember just about everyone i knew used it a few months ago, and i was getting requests for this and that 24/7, and OH MY GOD. it drove me mental. something should destroy it.. what is the achievement in the end anyway? :/ i don't understand, sigh.
from xnamehere :
i second that. fuck farmville.
from omfggwtf :
i'll help you destroy farmville -raises hand-
from secret-motel :
A cheerful wave and salute with my shovel! And I enjoyed the drunk guy video. I always make it a point act sober (to the the best of my ability) when I go into a liquor store to refuel. That guy made no effort. He wasn't even trying. But, to be fair, those fridge doors can be tricky when everything is tilting and twirling. That's what happens when you drink with Jesus.
from opposure :
Thanks again. Your incredible kindness means a lot to me.
from raven72d :
hotel love-nests. yes.
from nessus :
You make me wish I was in a relationship so I could randomly stay in hotels like that.
from taken-by-you :
I will Myspace message you my email address. I don't like crafty spam and/or stalkers finding it through these. =) Write as much as you want - I do not always reply promptly, but I will cherish it just the same.
from lust- :
Ohh no worries. I crashed at a friends place. But, had to drive the two minutes to his house so I wouldn't get a ticket in the morning. No crazy shenanigans, though. Thanks for looking out. =)
from evanelle :
I doubt i could ever fear your writing, as i adore it. And your always welcome to send me an email, i'm just hope you'll enjoy whatever is returned. I'm usually willing to talk about anything, and everything.
from evanelle :
It's great to recieve long emails, even if it ends up being mostly rambling. Atleast that's my opinion. It's nice to be heard, and to hear from people.
from the-grey-one :
"your gurgling psyche" dude, that is fucking prime.
from opposure :
Thankyou for saying that. For me, it was worth the effort. If all else fails, at least I got my secret out there, exposed my indecent soul. Hugs.
from taken-by-you :
I enjoy Twitter because my thoughts are usually too scattered to put into more than 140 characters. I also prefer it because most of the people I would text my random thoughts to are on Twitter - therefore it is somewhat less invasive than texting. Anyone can see it and reply, or not. There is less obligation on either side. I always find myself peer-pressured into social networking - Myspace (by an exboyfriend), Twitter (by my bestfriend), and now Facebook (by everyone). I think I succumb simply to stop the harassment. Sometimes it is just easier to give in than to fight off the violent tendencies brought about by continued badgering.
from raven72d :
Vogue is fun... And of course I fall in love with Blake Lively and other tall, leggy, gaunt girls. And I always love the rituals of fashion and beauty, even though I'm male and (for many reasons) not likely ever to attain to any kind of beauty myself.
from opposure :
for what it's worth, i always read your entries.
from darthuae :
there's a weird sense of home that comes with the way you write. i say weird cuz not even home feels like home. i love.
from taken-by-you :
=) I have also, despite my redhead random bouts of rage, never understood why people will break their own things when they are mad. I have never had the desire to spend money on something just to destroy it and have to replace it. Also, I adore you. Even when I am not updating, you are one of two diaries that I still check almost daily.
from avantbedroc :
mimosa inspired kiss.. oh♥x!!
from raven72d :
i'm always there at your entries: you do have a loyal following.
from omfggwtf :
i haven't seen it in ages oh my god. :( i'll have to watch it soon.
from omfggwtf :
fuck yeah terminator 2!
from raven72d :
or a fez. tiaras or a fez.
from raven72d :
i like the arsenic thought. look up the marquise de brinvillers for suggestions.
from xnamehere :
holy shit! that was terrifying.
from avantbedroc :
i'm getting turned on just thinking about it
from opposure :
I should like to be present when your wings are awoken.
from avantbedroc :
i'm going to get my microphone...
from raven72d :
"pre-London"?
from the-grey-one :
haha, ferris wheel, nice analogy. the question is, how the hell do you get off the ride? if you ever figure that one out, gotta let me know.
from the-grey-one :
i just wanted to say, i see your username everywhere on diaryland! i dont know if we gravitate to the same diaries, or if you are simply a diarywhore, but it makes me chuckle everytime i come across you unexpectedly. (perhaps it is i who is the diarywhore)
from raven72d :
i love that song.
from opposure :
You think so? Did you have a specific accomplishment in mind? I'd love to hear your opinion on that.
from avantbedroc :
totally going2 put that song on now!
from xorbit :
Heee! I like that you describe yourself as a loyal follower. Well, your loyalty shall be rewarded, if it comes to that (locking). :)
from the-grey-one :
this a note for your entry tiptoes. i absolutely hate that uncertainty after hanging out with someone. when you feel like you probably made an ass of yourself , pushed them too far away, shared too much information.._________ such a myriad of social faux pas, that you can't even choose which one you committed. and you get scared to talk to them again, because you just cant trust that they really like you as much as they seem to. ..... after 10 years or so of everyone playing nice, you lose the ability to trust that anyone is capable of being genuine with you. i would love if someone (after a new hangout as you such described) would just say "you know what, i dont think i'll get along with you very well, that thing you said about [religion,sex,et.cetera]put me off." ... but who am i to say anything, because aren't i just the same? being polite. because god forbid we hurt someones feelings. ..
from sephiragrace :
You are right. And i do believe that deep down, I just forgot. You are indeed lovely yourself, my dear. <3 <3
from sephiragrace :
i don't believe it when people tell me im beautiful or gorgeous.
from xorbit :
a) Nose-blowing at the table - this was verboten in our house too. My father would turn an unhealthy shade of purple, and then likely rant for 2 hours about all the hardships he suffered as a boy. My mother had chronic hayfever so she had to excuse herself every 5 minutes to go into the laundry to blow her nose. b) Hiding places - I had a similar school experience when I was 7, and I can relate to that fear of being caught out. *hugs*
from omfggwtf :
aghhh thank youuu x
from opposure :
Your entry about having no hiding places as a kid ... I know you weren't being overly dramatic or anything ... but that kind of broke my heart a little. I think I can relate - there are some things one just cannot physically hide from, so why bother pretending anyplace is safe (from the monsters)? Hugs.
from sephiragrace :
<3
from doctorkaysen :
thank you so much. I still can't believe she's actually real. :)
from raven72d :
those eyes...*sigh*.
from gonzoprophet :
i always want to tell you some completely random story for some reason but I stop myself, thinking percussively, 'That has nothing to do with anything!' anyway the point would've been - don't cut yourself down. 'cool' is overrated. i, and i feel many people of my generation, prefer honesty.
from xorbit :
On frugality - I do actually dry and reuse paper towels (if they are only wet). My parents on the other hand never even bought them, because they had rags, so why did they need paper towels? Despite this it took me years to figure out how to live within my means. I would buy books, moisturiser, stationery, DVDs, stuffies, cheap perfume... enough to stock my own store (with stationery, certainly). Shopping made me feel better. Trying to find somewhere to put it once I got home was another matter ;)
from the-grey-one :
textual blabber-mouthing can't be bad... can it? dear lord, for the sake of everyone on the site, lets hope not.
from lust- :
I saw your entry where you posted a Mumford and Sons video, a few back...&I checked them out immediately. Just wanted to thank you for introducing me to some ace music. I agree about the 'eternal blowjob' statement.
from raven72d :
i love Engrish.com.
from papersails :
Thank you so much for your kind note! I do like the encouragement I get from other people when I write in this diary. :)
from omfggwtf :
mm haha. he's just a charmer, isn't he? says "i'll give you the money, you can get a test, take it, and if it's what you expect you can go deal with it. just let me have a nice long sleep and i'll let you think about it all night, and make you deal with it alone and we can discuss it tomorrow where i'll just give you the money. let's hear no more of it." i dunno if he's just running away from it 'cos he's scared. but i am 90% sure he just doesn't give two shits 'cos it's absolutely nothing in his life. oh, sigh.
from raven72d :
Pet Rocks are good listeners. And very protective ("Fly, boy! get 'em!")...
from omfggwtf :
don't worry, it's very out of reach for me anyway aha. i am very stupid at times, i know, i can't help it though. hmm! xo.
from the-grey-one :
"moth-to-a-porchlight retarded masochist" hahaaa, nice.
from frankie123 :
little lion man: i love that song too!
from secret-motel :
meep meep: I've always suspected those old cartoons were inspired by heavy drug use and maybe some Kafka as well. Thank goodness! They planted in me the seeds for a life-long love of surrealism and classical music. But it's funny how so many of them tried to teach the same lesson: characters trying to gain what they can not have. And they can't have what they want, because their intention is wrong.
from breathe-salt :
your entry- durability- boy, can i relate to that. i don't have many friends either and i can never quite explain why in words. but you said it perfectly: there are many complicated and intricate reasons.
from raven72d :
i of course had a Pet Rock. i loved the Training Manual.
from raven72d :
I always identified with Wile E. Coyote and thought of the Roadrunner as God or Fate. I had strange existentialist thoughts as a child.
from raven72d :
I wanted Wile E. to go find the HQ of Acme Corporation and kick ass for all their failed products.
from sephiragrace :
I always wanted wile e to catch the roadrunner too. :)
from opposure :
"the sky is merely a confectioner's veil" wonderfully said. I would also rather see it this way.
from cybers1ut :
Yeah, I realised that after I hit the "done!" button but by then it was far too late... and I was too lazy to rectify the situation at the time. Speaking of, have you seen or heard from his dumbass in the past few years? He in jail like he should be?
from cybers1ut :
Wow, fuck you, yo. Why the hell is that knife holder for me???
from raven72d :
Well, there are co-eds who find the 'Dexter' thing hot...
from raven72d :
never a pantyhose noose! i hate pantyhose--- only and ever a silk scarf.
from swallowthkey :
i really want to watch the video you posted today but i'm a scaredy-cat, i feel like it might give me nightmares.
from raven72d :
i love the little cow. and anything in sepia tones.
from secret-motel :
Yes, I am certain there is a lighthouse on the Moon. And I suspect there is a secret lab where the aliens conduct experiments on all that cattle they're abducting from sepia-toned wheatfields.
from raven72d :
post stuffling pix!
from opposure :
"i am extremely understanding and patient and otherworldly. until you get in a relationship with me.". Lol, isn't that the truth for all the wonderfully otherworldly people out there! ;) and thanks again. :)
from raven72d :
I have the little Hello Cthulhu stufflings...
from raven72d :
i have Psyduck and Tare Panda stufflings...plus wombats...
from raven72d :
you do have cool toys, girl.
from raven72d :
I love the knife holder.
from raven72d :
Damn it, you are cool. Even when you're not boating on the Chesapeake.
from swallowthkey :
i spent too much time looking back the last time i left, this time i'm only looking forward. i just want to do a little dance every time i think about how close i am to finishing my degree.
from raven72d :
so... an Alien/Facehugger stuffling? Where did you find it?
from raven72d :
Neko is incredible. And I love that song.
from raven72d :
hmmm...Paramore? and do avoid emo boys--- that never works for girls of any substance.
from xorbit :
I like wildebeesties ]:@)
from lust- :
I really enjoyed reading your words..Hope you have a lovely day.
from opposure :
Thanks. I guess I'm always trying to save or destroy something.
from corposant :
I have to put you on my list of favorites. On the 13th, I was experiencing the same kind of low you were, and in your entry on the 14th is more evidence of synchronicity. Did you know that in Japan you would be able to hire a professional breaker-upper to separate your sister from her beloved?
from the-grey-one :
sometimes a drop-kick to the face is just the perfect way to express oneself.
from theways :
hell yeah :)
from opposure :
I agree about being annoyed when people around me suddenly hone in on my despondency like it is the trendy new local charity or something. That being said, I do hope you feel better when the time is right.
from theways :
"days like today, happiness is either an illusion or a lie and i feel bitter about ever believing in it in the first place." i totally get that..
from gonzoprophet :
my childhood thing was by far for zorro but they don't readily have offensive horse riding and combat training for little girls 'round these parts. tasers scare me - people think they're sooo "harmless" but if they get common and some cockknock were to tase, like, my big scary boyfriend, they'd just kill him because he has a bad heart. people don't think about shit like that enough. i'd rather get a gun. there aren't any pretenses with a gun at least.
from the-grey-one :
=).. i wanted to respond to what you posted on my notes, but then i thought maybe you were just responding to what i posted on your notes, and then i realized that it's probably just responses to responses and then i thought that maybe a smile would suffice?
from omfggwtf :
ha thanks. i dunno what i think of it -_- i'm gonna just have to get used to it. bleughhh.
from raven72d :
glad you liked 'Carrion Comfort'! (I liked the Charleston setting early on)
from swallowthkey :
hey love, would it be possible to grab your email? i would like to send you something better sent over email than by note.
from the-grey-one :
"i wish i could be something cooler, like a feminist or a ninja" haha, oh come on, you're awesome. anyone who says that is awesome as heck.
from raven72d :
i was up til 0300 reading about blue whales and drinking dark rum.
from xorbit :
crappy reality shows - imo they are all crappy. we had one about 20 years ago, "sylvania waters", which was Australia's first of that kind of thing (we had been softened up by watching "cops" late at night). tho I think they called it a documentary in those days. since then the only reality show I have been interested in or watched at all is "the biggest loser" (australian version, tho I have seen some of the US series as well). I hate everything else, especially survivor and big brother.
from raven72d :
i have to admire anyone who brings her own strobe lights.
from cybers1ut :
THIEF! Enjoying engrish.com I see! As for Bear and Rachelle and that holy mess... well, meh. That is all. Meh. Anyone can revere your recounting history for your words and your style, but MEH. As someone there for the aftermath. MEH again.
from opposure :
You brought your own strobe lights? ;) I probably would have enjoyed one of your parties.
from omfggwtf :
that picture is so scary!! goodness haha. xo.
from swallowthkey :
not in the least, I've always had a thing for Nicole Kidman. Something about vivacious redheads always gets me.
from xorbit :
Re "glad I'm bloody not" - why thank you :) I did agonise, slightly, over the ending. My problem with writing anything longer than, say, 5-6 paragraphs, is that it tends to get away from me ("writes itself"), and what was supposed to be 1500 words is suddenly 10,000 and the story is nowhere near finished. So to actually be able to tie something up satisfactorily is quite an achievement. *preens*
from xorbit :
Augustus is beautiful ^__^ He can sit on my lap any time (as long as he doesn't use my kneecaps as kneading cushions). And I would also like to see pics of sassy :)
from raven72d :
i like my office at night... no one here, quiet, 6 floors up... downtown at night is empty but peaceful.
from raven72d :
i hope you'll post photos of Gus-Gus' little friend Sassy. Stufflings are key. We'll talk hand sanitiser later, darling.
from swallowthkey :
she had red hair in my dream but i wouldn't trust her with a shot gun then, either. she had one of those long barge sticks instead, you know the kind the gondoliers use to push their gondolas through the canals? it was terrifying, her face was all jagged angles and fury.
from atwowaydream :
I wonder if anyone will leave me notes after having a somewhat detailed conversation about hand sanitizer and handjobs. thanks raven.
from raven72d :
i just wonder if they use the hand sanitiser *after* the handjob or as a kind of lube... Both seem vaguely insulting...
from gonzoprophet :
lmfao thank you for making me laugh uncontrollably for a while
from raven72d :
hand sanitiser implies...what? handjobs and/or fear of alien viruses? or just that one's friends never clean?
from omfggwtf :
haha yeah well i think he understands that now.. i hope. i just feel so worthless really. my self esteem is in tatters now. i want to be good enough. looks wise, personality wise. agh. and pfft, don't worry i wouldn't. my parents are just all NOO, HE'S A NICE BOY, WHAT'S GOING ON?!
from omfggwtf :
we're okay.... well haha. we're acting normal. i think he's sorry though. i overreact an awful lot, but he knows how upset i am. i think he's scared of my parents now 'cos they're on suicide watch for me hahaha. he feels bad. which is good. i don't like the thought of him getting girls to do stuff :/ he has me. but yeah.. only time will tell i guess. pfft. relationships. all the same with me. xo.
from raven72d :
everyone carries hand sanitiser now... should I be scared about that?
from raven72d :
i love fireworks... i wish i could see them on lots of clear, cold nights...
from swallowthkey :
what can i say? masochism is my forte. and your sober attempt at drunken rambling sounded rather a lot like e.e. cummings actually, i am sad i missed out on the real drunken rambling.
from xorbit :
Awww, love the sushi :)
from raven72d :
watched fireworks over the river tonight... gorgeous colours and swirls of light. i love fireworks displays.
from omfggwtf :
haaha! do you think? i dunno. girls always seem to have a problem with me. especially the ones who know my boyfriend. it's like.. he tried to get with some of them in the past, and they all had their chance and got with his friends or something instead. and now he's found someone he likes, they get all weird hahaha. i dunno. grr.
from raven72d :
i like "lipstick lesbian" as a term... i recall the days at yale when there were actual catfights between "granolas" and "lipsticks"... and lovely fashionista lesbians have allowed me to be their friend and comrade-in-depravity since I was seventeen.
from raven72d :
and you, my dear, are a favourite Tidewater lovely lipstick lesbian...
from raven72d :
i always wanted to be a viscount.
from raven72d :
i love plush friends.
from swallowthkey :
the only alternate uses i can think of are terribly kinky and inappropriate.
from taken-by-you :
I have been drunk for nearly two hours and have so much I want to say in my diary, but cannot. There are people who read it who tell stories, and it's not safe anymore, but I don't know where else to write. I love reading your updates because it shows me bravery - you are open and honest in ways I used to be. I adore you.
from xorbit :
"Cleanliness is next to OCD" - indeed. You'd love our place (not). I'd have someone come in to clean but I've turned into my mother, ie, feel I have to clean before the cleaner can see the state of it. Also being an accomplished procrastinator (ahem), the initial cleaning goes on in fits and starts and never catches up to the point where I feel it's "ready".
from raven72d :
i have always been vur' pettable and clever.
from raven72d :
i drank Wild Turkey at 18, in a tribute to Hunter S. Thompson...
from raven72d :
drinking Wild Turkey rye and dreaming of Selma Blair...
from the-grey-one :
ha ha, my pleasure
from the-grey-one :
haha, owen wilson! that's brilliant
from the-grey-one :
"we are the livejournal rejects and unread blogging elite, but we're not stupid. " man that had me laughing! your diary is pretty danged awesome. BAM stranger just noted you!
from raven72d :
a summer home is key. i want to live in J. Peterman World.
from papersails :
I think you're right about quiet, subtle movies. My life is certainly visual, since I'm a photographer, and musical, so the movie of my life would have a soundtrack of Tori Amos, The Kills, Hole, The Velvet Underground, etc. I read your last entry... where I live, there are a lot of annoying, pampered soccer moms like that.
from opposure :
You so right! The thing to have on a deserted island is someone to talk to about the silly and the sacred. Someone who can regularly point out absurdity and lets you cuddle with them is worth more than a lifetime of warm dharma initiative beer.
from doctorkaysen :
thank you. i really just need someone to tell me that, even if you are the only one. it means the world to me.
from raven72d :
very drunk... and one always trades in co-eds for taller and younger...
from raven72d :
fuck... calk me
from raven72d :
my car is almost as old as my co-eds...
from opposure :
Ah, it pleases me greatly to hear that I'm relatable. And it's such a rarity. You're sweet. :)
from omfggwtf :
when, sorry? haha i'm confused!
from omfggwtf :
wheyyyyyy! (:
from omfggwtf :
oh my god yes :( it's the ultimate thing for me, i get soooo scared, yet i just continue to watch that sort of film.. i really don't help myself ahaha. OH WELL. it's all good fun.
from omfggwtf :
hhaha aw. the only film that ever seriously scared me was the original thai "shutter" :| ohh god. i have a thing about like, long black haired girls who are dead. mostly the japanese. oh god, i can't stand it. keeps me up all night aha.
from omfggwtf :
hahahah, yes!! i get what you mean. well i dunno, the film was pretty rubbish overall, i always thought the plot was a bit silly. but the dolls... oh my god the dolls. just imagine waking up to one of them, or the mary shaw one, UGHHHHLSEEGWSHJVWEJG.
from xorbit :
Methinketh the girls doth protest too much. (Am back from my stupid work thingo and trying to catch up, also, get back in the swing of regular days.)
from raven72d :
at my last house, i always fed the squirrels and chipmunks--- skrills and chipsters ---and a small albino possum I always called William. I think Chadwick is a great skrill name.
from raven72d :
i love being Different. and i love being your buddy.
from raven72d :
i love your bookshelves.
from raven72d :
hmmm... that makes me 20% of all guys on Diaryland. and, yes: some substantial portion of all my notes have a subtext of flirtation. though after all these years, i'm assuming you take that as a given.
from nessus :
It's transcendant when you are able to just lose yourself in laughter, and, for that ephemeral moment, it encapsulates your entire existance.
from raven72d :
as long as blake lively is mine.
from raven72d :
chloe is the girl-crush of many a straight girl...
from raven72d :
robot spam diaries?
from raven72d :
so many of the names in the box are at least faux-chinese... i wonder if they just didn't create profiles... use the member directory search feature and see if you any diaries at all...
from swallowthkey :
hahahaha to be honest i had no idea whatsoever what you were trying to say in that note but it definitely made me laugh, and from the sounds of it you had a pretty good night. drunken/high notes are always welcome.
from opposure :
The struggle to establish our identity (sexual or otherwise) is among our more fascinating endeavors as human experiments. Being open about your inner dialog on the subject only adds to your appeal as a person, at least in my estimation. I have an online friend who has expressed similar battles with self-image. She often calls herself 'pansexual'. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
from raven72d :
i so want to be the girl who sings for metric...
from raven72d :
when you get androgynous, you get even more alluring.
from raven72d :
i drafted a pre-nup for clients today... i don't believe in monogamy, but i'm fiercely loyal and supportive.
from swallowthkey :
actually i think we might be fantastic roommates - we could build entire forts out of books and then play book jenga (gently sliding a book out of the carefully built structure so as not to topple the thing) whenever we wanted to read.
from raven72d :
ummm...the katherine moennig doll... i've been in a kind of trance over that since ever i read it... that idea is just...hotter than you can imagine.
from raven72d :
i have wanted to get married (get, not be) just to prove i could do it. but i have never wanted anything like a marriage...
from raven72d :
at least you don't imagine using the Walken doll as a vibrator.
from omfggwtf :
haaha! ahhh, yeah i loved it too. the bottles looked so good, i loved the whole thing about it :) and thanks! haha, i'll take that into account ;)
from omfggwtf :
sailor jerry? oh my god. i miss sailor jerry. what one do you have? i dunno what it's like where you come from but we had a "vanilla and lime" old, like old spice recipe. and then they changed it to shitty normal rum! the vanilla one was so much nicer, oh god i miss it. :( i have like 6 empty bottles of it in my room and everytime i see them i'm just like :( nooo!
from moonsocket :
thanks you. i am getting there. getting rid of this particular journal, unfortunately, is part of that process. xx
from pettyquarrel :
I'm always around, just not always right here. Listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPv3eou3Ltg and take good care of yourself. <3 petty
from raven72d :
my shelves are all filled, there are boxes of books in my storage cube, and books all over my floors...
from raven72d :
my shelves are all filled, there are boxes of books in my storage cube, and books all over my floors...
from raven72d :
there was a punk-country band called Country Porn that did a song called "The Teardrops on Your Pillow Washed the Cum Stains From My Face"...
from swallowthkey :
"i refuse to go to the library, because i cannot part with a book that might possibly become even remotely sentimental. In fact, sometimes libraries infuriate me, because they are filled with people who can just wham bam thank you ma'am a book and be done with it and swipe their little shiny annoying library cards and go home with three more grubby-whore books who will never have a proper, loving home. they must feel like prostitutes." This made me laugh so hard, you don't even know. I feel the same way about books although maybe not about libraries hahaha. Books consistently consume my living space.
from xorbit :
Re books - yes yes yes!!! Me too. Have even stolen books from libraries (long ago, ahem) to rescue them from the unappreciative masses.
from raven72d :
you and books...are you sure you're not me?
from papersails :
what is your definition of "sanity?"
from xorbit :
Just so you know, just so you aren't left wondering (and maybe worrying) - I will be away next week, a work thing for a few days, then a couple of days recovery. Of course, it will all be "material", so hopefully I will have a lot to say when I return :) <3
from raven72d :
you're very real to me...
from opposure :
You sound like a marvelous big sister.
from omfggwtf :
thank you, it really means a lot. i never knew i'd come on this website and get so much many supporting words when i ramble on and on haha x
from xorbit :
that is one hell of a shark @__@
from opposure :
If it's any consolation at all, i've become too addicted to posting here to leave anytime soon. And I have a similiar hope as you.
from omfggwtf :
oh no :( that doesn't sound good at all! ha. ohh. it's just really randomly come along today. constant in my chest? i haven't really had anything to stress about. well, i stress all the time but it's just me being an over dramatic idiot haha.. maybe i'm making myself sick. oh well. thanks for the advice, i may take it ha, i'm too scared to go to sleep! x
from raven72d :
i will never vanish, girl. you'll have me to read forever.
from cybers1ut :
I know you know this but the chances of you being attacked by a shark at the beach are almost zero.
from raven72d :
Shark Week drinking games...yes.
from opposure :
Happy Saturday. May only pleasant memories of it arrive on your Sunday morning pillow.
from raven72d :
saturday is for debauchery. always. and drunk dialing.
from omfggwtf :
i like your attitude about saturdays! ;)
from sephiragrace :
Tori is deep in my heart because i've listened to her for a long time. Neko is amazing. I got into her maybe a year ago? I love her. When no one else understands I can listen to them. <3
from sephiragrace :
headcase-I feel the same way. Tori Amos <3 <3
from sephiragrace :
neko case <3
from frankie123 :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc
from raven72d :
if only i could be blake lively, i'd run away with you tomorrow.
from raven72d :
Loved her as Edie!
from raven72d :
i always wanted to be...not a beatnik, but in the c. 1962-67 Warhol scene...
from opposure :
I'm not entirely certain that I actually know anyone in real life. So it's all good to me. :)
from xorbit :
"start another anonymous diary" - hah! like, story of my life :)
from omfggwtf :
haaha! you're lucky! i wasn't sick! for about an hour i thought i would be, but i ignored it and i'm fine now ;) mission accomplished.
from raven72d :
not being able to jump rope = lack of physical grace = one more reason why i won't be physically desired.
from raven72d :
darlin', you've been wonderful to me for years.
from opposure :
I'm starting to believe you are sort of wonderful (if you don't mind my saying so.)
from unlikelystar :
Hi its me how do I get buddies, and add you:) I'm virgin to this
from omfggwtf :
hahaa! ohhh dear, yeah i can imagine, oops. ughh i don't feel very well today. and i have to go out for a friend's 20th later, ohhh the joys.
from bibles :
You seem beautiful from what I can see from your face--and you are a beautiful person on the inside which is the part that lasts!
from raven72d :
you have never been ugly. trust me.
from omfggwtf :
hahaah! awww, bless! i kind forgot what i was talking about now since im rather drunk.. feet. ew. ugh feet. ughh.
from bibles :
I get quite uncomfortable around people who have aged gracelessly. I worry I'll become like that--on the bright side, it always motivates me to go workout.
from omfggwtf :
i just stumbled on your diary and that youtube video of the feet.. ughhh.
from bibles :
Thanks! That entry is actually a quote of the final passage of Joyce's Ulysses (and in my opinion one of the only passages worth reading--but you labor over a 900+ page novel for 4 months and you must inevitably feel some fondness for the work afterwards).
from opposure :
Sorry that you're feeling down. I trust that the pendulum will swing north for you very soon!
from swallowthkey :
if you ever need someone to rave to in the middle of the night, teardownthedawn@hotmail.com - i'm not sleeping very much either.
from bibles :
I hope you feel better soon!
from raven72d :
i know that lonely feeling exactly.
from papersails :
Thanks for adding me as a favorite! You're the first person to do so! :)
from raven72d :
stilettos are good... though ballet flats are always accessories for ultra-low ultra-skinny jeans on BRDYTW girls... just like bare hipbones are always key.
from papersails :
Thank you so much for your note! I dig your diary, too... and i still believe that stars are guardian angels
from raven72d :
i'd never allow my victims to wear pantyhose, let alone underwear...
from raven72d :
i recall flavoured nipple rouge... that wasn't a bad idea.
from raven72d :
i remember that there were chocolate-flavoured ones as well...but that would have to be just...nasty.
from raven72d :
in late grade school i used to buy packs of strawberry-flavoured rolling papers and chew them for the flavour.
from warpednormal :
thank you, you're absolutely right. it means a lot coming from you <3
from raven72d :
my dear, i would offer you many a birthday gift, but somehow a pap smear just isn't on the list.
from swallowthkey :
i was up all night last night coming down from mdma and i don't know if this has ever happened to you but when i'm coming down from mdma and no one is touching me in some way, i get extremely distressed and emotional. my house was filled with people and all i could do was wander around wishing there was someone around with a hand to hold, and i couldn't find any of the people i'd been holding hands with earlier. i think i need physical contact entirely too much.
from raven72d :
shotguns are key.
from raven72d :
she is hot... call me soon.
from raven72d :
and *that* is why i won't see "emily rose"... i need my fantasy girls.
from raven72d :
watching 'Dexter', I notice that he does a purist's steak--- bone-in rib-eye with just kosher salt and black pepper, sauteed 4 minutes a side... i have to admire that. and of course his sister is brilliantly tall and hot.
from raven72d :
i'd send you home with at least one nipple...and an origami swan.
from raven72d :
well, i was once suspected of being a mass murderer, albeit very briefly. while it was hideously embarrassing at the time, it's since (thanks to "Dexter") become a selling point with girls.
from raven72d :
so, on a percentage basis, how queer am i?
from raven72d :
i love writing... and must write for you.
from swallowthkey :
that is very true but i think sometimes i border on being neurotic. it gets me into trouble.
from raven72d :
i've only seen one episode...though i have (yes) actually read two of the books...
from raven72d :
i like being three years old sometimes.
from taken-by-you :
I have a daydream in which we meet and spend hours writing poetry and finding new local gods at the bottom of bottles of cheap wine.
from bliss-sad :
I'm at nicholeia@hotmail.com =)
from opposure :
Weird IS relative . . . or better yet, everyone is relatively weird. I have a thing for the authentically bizarre myself.
from raven72d :
i never watch Gossip Girl... I just lust over her Vogue photos.
from raven72d :
well, i consider myself to be a teen lesbian Blake Lively, too.
from xorbit :
just to let you know I found you and am reading eagerly (wishing I didn't have to go out today so I could stay at the computer til I pass out, actually). it's odd - in less than 24 hours here I've found plenty of people worth reading, but everywhere else I looked there was nowt.
from darthuae :
i love you.
from raven72d :
look for a book called "Wisconsin Death Trip"... sepia photos...
from raven72d :
i want to read you everywhere...
from nessus :
I love my job. I know how fortunate I am. So there was some confusion, I guess, and it was actually Ladyhawk without the "e", completely different band (I had no idea there were two with essentially the same name). Oh, and I'm Chris.
from bliss-sad :
I want to make love your playlists! All the music you post is awesome, would I be able to prod you for some suggestions? Or, we could do a mix tap exchange. That would be lovely. =) <3
from raven72d :
my dear, that you'd invoke Tim Curry explains so much of my crush on you.
from xnamehere :
awww. thank you.
from nessus :
Rather interesting serendipity, the day you add me on Diaryland (today, May 23rd) I'm actually doing sound for Ladyhawke.
from raven72d :
you did reach out to me--- and you're a dear friend.
from raven72d :
Malibus and Roofies? I like that...sounds like a great breakfast to me.
from raven72d :
How about a small sheep having a pleasant conversation with a little giraffe?
from raven72d :
i love you as an imaginary friend.
from swallowthkey :
i'm not the kind of girl who really ever stops dancing. i think we would get along fantastically.
from bliss-sad :
Beautiful. I may not know you, but everytime I read your words, I feel like I know your heart.
from swallowthkey :
i don't really know you, but you should come to canada. come inhale pills colourful as candy and dance beneath brilliant stars, roll down hills of vivid neon green and watch the sun rise beyond the mountains. i don't know you, but come dance with me.
from raven72d :
miss you.
from raven72d :
good Moby clip.
from starkitten01 :
Thank you sweetie. : ) I guess I really did need the wake up call..
from raven72d :
as a sociopath myself, i do recognise a fellow predator with a heart...
from doctorkaysen :
"If I meet a psychopathic Dahmer-like individual, at least he will not grate my nerves as only you can, you bull-headed human annoyatron." YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
from raven72d :
Dahmer liked young Cambodian boys, so you should be safe. But try to avoid getting in cars late at night with strange older predatory types...unless they're me, of course.
from raven72d :
exactly... and a 'dazed and confused' milla is brilliant...the era of her Guess ads.
from raven72d :
the bouncers should look like Milla Jovovich.
from raven72d :
Venice in the Sky... I want to live there.
from strayrecluse :
thanks! you're sweet. :)
from raven72d :
i used to know the calorie count for Scotch. i wonder what it is for cocaine--- is it a negative number?
from opposure :
Thanks once again. Your kindness is greatly appreciated. btw - your sisters boyfriend sounds just like me about 15+ years ago, in terms of resorting to staying high in order to cope with my problematic existence. As you can tell, I've vastly improved my methods. Drugs are no longer required to avoid reality. ;)
from raven72d :
I have many guardian Hello Cthulhu and Psyduck stufflings. It's just that...alien skulls remind me of the Esquimaux.
from raven72d :
Skully is...scary. I'd never have him near my stufflings.
from raven72d :
"textual walk of shame" is a great line.
from raven72d :
i trust neko on everything. and i want you to write and write--- you're a voice that's meant a lot these past few years.
from raven72d :
thanks, darling! good advice! and your support means a lot!
from opposure :
Well, I'm glad you feel that way. With that criteria, I don't believe I would disappoint too often. :)
from breathe-salt :
thank you so much-- it means a lot, it really does.
from ping-island :
haha, you don't even have to. if you keep her she's just happy to be with you! it's kind of unsettling actually, kinda like everything in that game candy land. everything's so sugary and happy but you just know it was all built with the slave labor of thousands of gummi bears.
from theways :
totally agree! some songs are so powerful... unlike other forms of art, you can feel music with every part of your body... the feeling is much less rational then let's say, read a book. music is a lot like love.
from theways :
i love that scene too :)
from swallowthkey :
hahaha oh lady, it's okay. you can leave me drunk messages whenever you like.
from xnamehere :
i couldn't agree more. the first time i watched that movie i was a bit out of my mind, and i found it rather profound. i came back it when i was sober and found it just as interesting though.
from loz-er :
Thank you :). I am really enjoying your diary as well, and I totally agree about the hospital food! WTH I mean planes have excuses, they have to pack the food for flight in the air so it's all pre-prepared and gross or whatever, but hospitals are down on earth, why can't they put anything decent together?
from moonsocket :
i think i got to that place where the heart cuts the strings. rather suddenly and without warning. it's refreshing. i hope things are well in yr world. and with yr mother as well. xx
from cybers1ut :
*I* am on AIM, and *I* hate AIM. I thought we had a date, so where the hell are YOU?
from cybers1ut :
Stuffed peppers are SO 1986. It's all about deconstruction now. Tell her to deconstruct a pepper!
from opposure :
Hello again. I hope everything is relatively ok in your realm. I noticed that your diary is now locked. If you are granting anyone access to it, I would humbly request a password. If not, then I'll just say it was a pleasure to read while available.
from swallowthkey :
oh don't even get me started on jesus. i think i just have an intolerance for people who live cautiously, who live as though they are afraid to try anything. i want someone brave. also i'd love to be in a relationship with someone who would do e with me, i think it would be such an interesting experience (i'd love to have sex on e)
from raven72d :
kisses, girl: do feel better.
from raven72d :
you must read Sylvia Brownrigg's "Pages of You"
from opposure :
Your generosity is greatly appreciated. I have similiar hopes for you.
from swallowthkey :
some people break and stay broken, they never recover. it's the people who break and build it all back up only to break it down again that seem to shine. they have something in them that says, i can destroy all of this, i'm not afraid.
from moonsocket :
darling, that sounds altogether fantastic. we may have to swap the snow patrol for the local natives or deftones or something that won't leave me prone to breaking down mid-conversation. virtual hugs all around. thankyouthankyouthankyou.
from raven72d :
I understand about the damaged. And...you are part of the network of people I do care about.
from swallowthkey :
i love the damaged and the broken too. i'm drawn to shattered people in the same way i'm drawn to self-destruction. there's such a beauty in implosion.
from raven72d :
Bratwurst!
from moonsocket :
jesus, that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. thank you. thank you so much. really. and yes, women are so unbelievably complicated. i do love her so, though.
from raven72d :
you can always text me when you're very drunk and/or doing Wicked Things. But I hope you do like the book recommendations--- you're someone whose thoughts on things I always like hearing.
from in-alaska :
you're really something special.
from raven72d :
"featherlight secrets"...do tell.
from taken-by-you :
I apologize for keeping it all in - there is just nothing new, really. I've driven the 2.5hrs Northwest to spend the week with my boyfriend, and will definitely update at least twice (most likely at least once while drunk, as that is what I do, it seems). Also, thank you. Whatever it is about my grouchy/overemotional/whatever ramblings that you find interesting - thank you for letting me know that I can be missed, even just for a diary. You truly have made my day.
from raven72d :
Simmons' 'Carrion Comfort' is good... And Storm Constantine's "Burying the Shadow". If you can find the two much-anthologised short stories "Less Than Zombie" and "Bright Lights, Big Zombie" by Doug Winter, I think you'll like them. And always look for Emily Listfield's "It Was Gonna Be Like Paris".
from in-alaska :
i want to thank you for being so kind. i sound like an idiot. you're a dream. it feels good to relate. i appreciate everything you say. to me and otherwise. money is the worst, i'd probably run from it if i thought i was fast enough.
from raven72d :
Various young ladies with whom I've been involved have told me that they think of me as a tall, cachexical, slutty-hot lipstick-lesbian teen in a male body. This may explain why the lovely Britt-Nicole always insisted that we call ourselves Lindsay and Samantha. (Which I liked a lot better than what I was afraid she'd say--- Humbert and Lo.)
from raven72d :
i've never thought of myself as "masculine"... i'm not sure what i think of myself as.
from in-alaska :
it took me forever to make my way to you, and i'm glad i finally did. you're beautiful.
from raven72d :
i do want pure selena. always.
from raven72d :
i miss sharing headphones. and you must phone me and say hi.
from raven72d :
17 Feb. 10--- I know what you mean, girl. Oh, yes.
from my-serenade :
thank you.
from cybers1ut :
We are anarchists not communists. ---- You know the fool in me that thrives on shock value wants to love this, but I just can't. I can't! ---- http://www.zazzle.com/feminist_noun_sarah_palin_tshirt-235547849376717169
from cybers1ut :
http://www.cafepress.com/+i_love_dick_cheney_black_tshirt,37954350
from cybers1ut :
Dude, I'd show up on a W. shirt, man, that's just epic win. I take that back... Cheney for the win. Now I must find this.... damnit.
from cybers1ut :
Psh, they'd all think your shirt was a joke, yo. I really hope you don't heart capitalism, though. It's the worst ism ever, dontchaknow? Seriously. O_o
from raven72d :
i try to be good for you, darlin'...
from raven72d :
i'd sing you a lullabye...
from raven72d :
i utterly agree about Kirstin.
from darthuae :
i'm trying not to, love, i'm trying not to. it's amazing how close i feel towards the people on dland-- just reading your entries lifts me up precisely where i need to be. thanks.
from cybers1ut :
I often find that I have to remind myself of the same thing... depression has an end. I only wish that my episodes of vivaciousness were as deep and lasting as my fucking seemingly unending wealth of misery.
from raven72d :
Ms. Dunst naked in a huge 18th-c. bed... I like that image.
from raven72d :
Your musical advice always helps me through grey grim days.
from taken-by-you :
I know those days. Those days that start with a few clouds and turn into weeks, then months. If you do find yourself wandering without crumbs or flashlights, just trail your fingers along the walls and maybe the heat of my fingers will still be there to guide.
from starkitten01 :
Yeah, I feel like this feeling of hopelessness and devastation will always blacken my heart. It's not getting any easier. Your note did my heart some good, though, it meant a lot to me. The supportive words I've gotten keep me going. Thank you so much. <3
from raven72d :
we share tastes in girls, music, and the melancholy delights of memory...
from starkitten01 :
Wow- so I guess it's safe to say the world is filled with these types of neurotic people that seem to live to make our lives difficult, I couldn't believe your neighbors odd remark. Too bad my crazy neighbors decided to start hiding their car. *giggle*
from raven72d :
Pluto has a cool symbol and a little moon called Charon. It's my planet, my totem. And you may always leave tipsy notes or drunk-dial me. Always.
from raven72d :
i do hope you find that perfect ghost orchid.
from raven72d :
you, my darling imaginary incestuous sibling, always make me feel better about these things.
from raven72d :
Books and daydreams... Ah, darlin', I've lived inside those for so many years... They're all the worlds I dream about.
from taken-by-you :
Book and daydream offer me the same escape, and actual human interaction leaves me somewhat disappointed. I believe that the difference is that we can somewhat fashion the characters to suit our ideas - but we can't do that with real people, so we have an idea of what a person should be like, or will be like, and they don't live up to that. At least, that is why (most of the time) I don't open up to real people. Do you find it hard, sometimes, to see people who write here as real - or are they characters as well? I think the way you write/speak is beautiful. I envy your vocabulary and encourage you to continue using it, regardless of what people tell you. Your language, your wording is a part of you - never let someone else dull your shine.
from taken-by-you :
I love the intensely fragile honesty of drunken posts. I think we cover things slightly with wording, which loses some of the 'punch' and/or plays things down. I don't drunk-dial/text, either. I come here.
from raven72d :
i read everything, girl. i always read your entries. i love the smell of burning wood. and i love what you write about.
from cybers1ut :
Call me: 954.696.9358 And quit losing my phone number.
from taken-by-you :
I am always open and honest in relationships, sometimes to a fault. This time I was drunken-introspective (and he was just drunk) when I, laying on the floor, said "I love ceilings much more when I am with you." And thus had to explain seven years of misadventures and bedroom stories (some omitted from here, due to those involved).
from taken-by-you :
I think this will be a glorious year for girls like us... beautiful, tragic, misunderstood, and born in the wrong times. I love your mind.
from raven72d :
vellum love letters... yes. i live for those things, too.
from darthuae :
thank you love, here's to a better decade :)
from raven72d :
I'll go look for them, girl. I always appreciate your suggestions and thoughts. Have a great NYE, and do know that I'm glad you're around.
from raven72d :
kisses and thanks for being a friend, beautiful, and Happy Year Ten.
from raven72d :
Hannah is brilliant.
from raven72d :
i'd give so much to be able to bewitch someone into loving me for an hour or two.
from cybers1ut :
The comment you left pretty much says it all. Consider it part of evidence. :P
from cybers1ut :
lmao
from cybers1ut :
Uh -ahem- you are definitely a princess. WTF are you thinking even questioning that??? You date people that specifically cater to that shit BECAUSE you are a princess. This is no secret.
from raven72d :
i'm not a sailor, but you do impress me.
from darthuae :
the idea of waking up for the world to see does that, sometimes.
from raven72d :
well, all my guns are in matte.
from raven72d :
I love Shiny Toy Guns.
from cybers1ut :
Hmm... well... I realise that journal entries are not meant to be responded to, and even if I wanted to I couldn't quite explain things in the way I'd like. You and bitchery... let's just say that you are complex; definitely faceted. You are not utterly selfish, which is usually the calling card of bitchery, but you have that head-swivel-thing down.
from raven72d :
my dear--- you've never been a bitch to me! you've always been thoughtful and fun.
from raven72d :
ever make those by-the-moon playlists?
from raven72d :
i like the alien stuffling.
from januarysnow :
insidious is a fantastic word.
from raven72d :
i love you being enigmatic.
from darthuae :
i would tuck them in every time too.
from raven72d :
i'd sing you lullabyes... if you don't mind bad versions of neko case.
from bethshort :
One word is great when ur drunk xo
from raven72d :
i liked "th historian", but the ending was a bit rushed...
from raven72d :
listen to ghosts...
from cached :
I appreciate the compliment; now I'll have to read your words as well.
from bliss-sad :
I read your entry about a new diary, and I realized that I've been following you for my five years at Diaryland. I've grown up reading your words, drinking in the litany of your ups and downs. You are beautiful, inspiring, and poetic. More than that, however, you made me feel normal. You made me feel like I wasn't alone. Knowing that you were out there struggling with the same things gave me strength. Reading about your happiness gave me hope. Thank you for that. Thank you for coming back. Welcome home.
from taken-by-you :
I've had mine since 98-99, although I erased most of the entries from then when I gave my life to Christ in 2001. If you do start anew, I would love to be invited, if you should like to invite me. When I need to be completely, 100% honest with myself, I talk to myself in the mirror. I can't lie to myself when I am looking at myself, especially if I'm crying.
from raven72d :
keep this diary...and never vanish.
from taken-by-you :
I definitely have said more than just one word this time. I don't care so much about length of entries, as long as it's honest.
from raven72d :
i try to offer up more than just a single word.
from raven72d :
i'll have to look for the book...
from raven72d :
horses and teen-girl photography.... i love that description. you weave beautiful images. you always have.
from taken-by-you :
I truly appreciate the way we somehow understand each other. I love how you say it all so much more beautifully than I can even feel it.
from raven72d :
i'm totally looking forward to the Sofia champagne.
from raven72d :
love the neko case entry.
from raven72d :
I just ordered some expensive Guyana rum and six cans of Sofia Coppola sparkling blanc des blancs. So we'll see how those go at night.
from spires :
what a beautiful way to describe them
from raven72d :
I have no idea whatsoever why I typed "Serena". I suppose I'll blame Bushmills for that. Now I'll go back into my Fort and hide.
from raven72d :
i'll check the CocoRosie song... and i've loved "where the wild things are" for many a year. we all need Forts, Serena.
from raven72d :
The Alice entry is wonderful.
from bethshort :
I haven't gone away. In fact I just wrote something new. take care xo
from darthuae :
you make sense to this one.
from raven72d :
make Lists, Ms. Selena... and tell me about pink skies.
from raven72d :
i look forward to your own lists, girl...
from raven72d :
mandy has a lovely voice and a sense of presence that's amazing. she always had the ability to be more than a teen-pop singer. i love her doing torch songs from the 30s...
from taken-by-you :
I have no idea how to deal with a non-Twitter world. I definitely am an avid abuser of that intarwebz substance. =(
from taken-by-you :
I love alcohol because sometimes all you need is a temporary escape. And, do you twitter? I'd love to follow you if you do.
from raven72d :
do update... and how is autumn?
from raven72d :
Just saw "Joy Division" (2007, Grant Gee)--- great documentary.
from raven72d :
i so need to find things worth getting high while watching.
from raven72d :
I love the "Girls" entry.
from secret-motel :
Don't be afraid. The aliens are our friends. Well...some of them, anyway. Maybe not the ones that abduct and probe us without our consent. But I can't help but think that some of them are infinitely kinder than a lot of the earthlings around us.
from offbymyself :
I suppose that's true, but I miss writing eloquently.
from offbymyself :
your writing reminds me a lot of my own... a couple of years ago. unfortunately, i'm more raw now.
from bethshort :
By the way... I was through W.Va. Not to long ago and was completely spooked & enchanted by the looming mountains there. I happened to be listening to Neko Case & Mazzy Star (lovely voices playlist). I pictured myself in a small house nestled between the mountains, doing witchy, wicked things, and being blonde...W.Va of all places. Anyway, your description of Ms.Case's voice is spot on.
from bethshort :
Hello. Thanks so much for the favorite. I read you and added you back--your picture is quite lovely---is it you or someone who resembles you? I love your words as well---so full!
from secret-motel :
Your description of Neko Case's voice is perfect. All those things, that song, the video, and your words make me want to hear more of her music.
from warpednormal :
you are absolutely right...and i know it. =) Thanks.
from raven72d :
I love your sense of romance.
from raven72d :
Ah, Christopher Walken. I should be so supple and suave at his age...
from raven72d :
you have such lovely taste in music... and i always love it when you comment on my entries.
from raven72d :
I know exactly what you mean about lives in books.
from raven72d :
the MJ entry is lovely.
from raven72d :
thanks, Serena. it's an image you and I both grew up with, after all...
from raven72d :
no apartment? what is life like now?
from raven72d :
ah, yes: the waitresses do like me at Sushi Barn...
from raven72d :
...and I so should've known you when you were seventeen...
from raven72d :
i wish you could be my nyotaimori server at Sushi Barn.
from raven72d :
Sushi Barn is so brilliantly awful... You are so wonderful.
from sythy :
"If Toto were to pull the curtain, I might have to call the pound." I love you for this. And for putting up the video to my favorite Magnetic Fields song.
from raven72d :
Shudder To Think...lovely.
from raven72d :
i feel the same way about authors and characters and magic.
from raven72d :
"Disarm" and the past... heartbreaking.
from raven72d :
you'll make it to Ireland. and you must send me a postcard, too...from anywhere.
from hated-dancer :
I am glad that what I wrote made you smile but it is true. It is also true that what I feel when I read your entries can not be expressed in words, but it's a good feeling
from raven72d :
opium...you do appear in opium dreams.
from hated-dancer :
talk to me? your entries are amazing and, weather I like it or not, make me think in new and different ways
from fledgling- :
Oh i'm definately running with it ... can't stop in fact! *L*
from raven72d :
30 April 09... I always develop crushes on you when I read your entries.
from raven72d :
your entries always leave me breathless.
from dramaandlies :
and i read the first entry on your diary. and i truly like.
from raven72d :
You at 17... I wish I had known you.
from raven72d :
i collect Psyduck stufflings, so I understand you and the Garbage Pail Kids.
from reckon-this :
Sarah Chalke has nothing on you! And don't feel bad about jealousy, it's underrated -- you'd be surprised how many guys think it's a turn-on when their girl gets possessive now and then. (Take it from a dyed-in-the-wool Scorpio.)
from zenev-izel :
Thank you.. I remember being dirty blonde was, well... interesting to say the least. I tried dying it reddish one time, but somedays I still looked blonde. My hair is very weird sometimes. And writing is, well... escape. I love to find escape when I'm alone. :) So I'll keep at it, and the same to you.
from raven72d :
I cried for the little robot child and the bear, too. I cry whenever I read "Velveteen Rabbit".
from zenev-izel :
Er, well I don't really like it on myself, but I suppose on the right people it does look nice. :)
from raven72d :
well, i thank you for the props.
from reckon-this :
The Bjork reference (I think?) in your handle caught my eye. I really like your writing, I will definitely be back!
from raven72d :
Keep writing. Always keep writing.
from raven72d :
Serena--- travel. Get a bag and a passport and...go. Travel. See the world. Just...launch out.
from raven72d :
tell me about the road trips with lovers of your Lost Youth...
from raven72d :
thank you, darling. do write/call soon.
from raven72d :
i miss you.
from raven72d :
you with the sunglasses on, getting off: i'm utterly entranced by that image.
from paperskies :
Hey, would you mind deleting this diary from your friends list, please? I'm just gonna keep it as a private diary now, and use my OctoberBloom one as a public one, so I'm asking everyone to lose this one and add that one again. If you want to, that is. Thanks hun, hope you's good :D Phil xxx
from raven72d :
as an actual former Suspect, I'm glad you like Dexter.
from paperskies :
Hey, just so you know, I'm using my Octoberbloom diary still. Hope you're good. :D
from raven72d :
girl--- i would *never* cross you.
from raven72d :
you have to allege fraud. all my law school training kicks in. for all sorts of reasons--- you'll have to go ahead and allege fraud.
from fuck--that :
Your words of encouragment are invaluable. You're amazing!
from shewholies :
Thank you so much! You're beautiful.
from raven72d :
i do like gender ambiguity.
from raven72d :
miss you.
from tegansarafan :
Dear right wing kumquat, Chill and peace-out, this stressing is bad for you. Now I really want to insert flowers into the end of your gun baby. Also, for your information dude, hippies are still going strong, have you even heard of the Rainbow World Gathering? Some people will NEVER sell out to the square-community. Love, hugs and bubbles, Jen-Bear. PS. Beware that region, you may never want to return!!!
from tegansarafan :
Bubbles are so pretty, fun and up there with hugs and kisses. Put your bullets in your pipe and smoke them you slattern fascist. PS. If you ever get to Ireland try to check out Portaferry. Its a small fishing town just off Strangford Lough, where my love grew up. Its beautiful like nowhere Ive ever seen.
from swallowthkey :
I love the idea of a "Say Anything" romance.
from raven72d :
making out! i love that!
from tegansarafan :
Pah! Keep your camera, its no match for my gun that shoots bubbles. =P You did this tiny type-o that got me excited. Thought you had a gun that can turn a mouth blue. I had images of you shooting dye directly into someone's mouth!
from tegansarafan :
Damnit, now I want a camera that squirts out water.
from raven72d :
Merry Xmas, Serena! I hope the Shark Week DVD is a delight.
from raven72d :
I love the road trip entry...
from raven72d :
you really should write stories/memoirs about your teens and early twenties...
from raven72d :
a girl who smokes when she writes or paints... yes!
from raven72d :
I love room service...
from raven72d :
I go crazy if I can't write.
from raven72d :
i'm glad you're in love again.
from shewholies :
Everything you write takes my breath away, but the last two entries were especially beautiful. I missed your writing! You fill my heart with your words.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're okay--- and that you're not ruined.
from rigbyeleanor :
your words are simply amazing.
from raven72d :
Remember, Serena--- I'm there to listen to all the thoughts...
from raven72d :
I remember those sensations...and keep them with me. Do read Cynthia Gralla's "The Floating World".
from raven72d :
Mushrooms are good. So is coke. Weed is...not for me. But I hope the night went well.
from octoberbloom :
Not that I don't feel all awesome that you've added me twice... but why? :P ;) Phil xxx
from raven72d :
i like seeing my rooms through a vodka glass some nights... if you need a voice, call me.
from raven72d :
i miss you tonight...
from cybers1ut :
I do not believe that people have some inherent trustfulness about them. I believe the majority of people have the ability to maintain a healthy distance from others, and it's that distance that I believe allows people to grow close. When you do not *need* you are able to enjoy the act of wanting. And it's the *need* that makes people so difficult to trust in the first place, because it puts you in an immediate position of uncomfortable, undesirable vulnerability.
from raven72d :
I listened to Ms. McKennitt tonight and thought of you.
from raven72d :
I love Loreena McKennitt...
from octoberbloom :
Hey hun, how are you?
from tegansarafan :
Selena, you've become so domestic!
from raven72d :
are you leaving your lover?
from raven72d :
I hope I can be dear to your heart.
from raven72d :
Absolutely... I love watching the Noggin Channel and reading lovely small children's books to lovers.
from raven72d :
Cigarettes are such great props... And you must smoke while talking to me.
from cybers1ut :
I do not mean to sound insensitive, but maybe your little sister is better off with him locked up? It's not as if he were ever stable. I think my father getting locked up so early in my life was probably a good thing. No child needs a man that scattered in their lives.
from raven72d :
I do dream about you at fifteen. But I;m also thrilled to know you now--- to hear once in a while from a girl who's bright and clever and thoughtful. You do have a future, Selena. I'm thrilled to know you.
from cybers1ut :
I ran on hopes and desperation, in a sense. I was so incredibly eager just to love and be loved in whatever way I could get. Puppy was truly the absolute best way to describe me.
from raven72d :
You're more than heroin. You're more than confessions and withdrawals.
from cybers1ut :
I cannot describe the sort of sickly delighted joy it brings me to know that you punched that fucker in the face. It feels so god-awful long ago, and I am happy all of that shit is over.
from raven72d :
I appreciate the song... I do love PJ Harvey...
from raven72d :
Your words mean a lot, Selena. I hope we can talk soon. About the Pasts we each have, about music and film, about Samuel L. Jackson...
from raven72d :
I never even slap outside the bedroom.
from cybers1ut :
Love is so much work it's fucking exhausting.
from raven72d :
I loved the exchange of MySpace notes last night.
from raven72d :
I would send you two roses: one white, one indigo.
from raven72d :
I can't be in love without images from the past and 1940s smoke and calligraphy.
from raven72d :
I'll go take a look for the Shapiro song. I'm doing laundry right now.
from elliestuff :
Thanks for the advice. I needed that.
from cybers1ut :
Yes, I know too well about therapy and medication.
from raven72d :
I'll have to go to YouTube... And I'll find "Wake Up in New York"...
from elliestuff :
thats interesting that you think that. I think more people think this about their house than they want to say. Oddly, I haven't liked to leave the house lately. I've been trying to save money by staying home because of the gas prices. Now I just don't want to leave to go any place.
from raven72d :
I'm glad I left the house I was in last year. My father passed away there, and there was too much of my own past there haunting me...
from raven72d :
I'd marry you tomorrow just for the dead baby joke. I'll be using it all weekend.
from raven72d :
i like opium--- for the dark, vivid, lush dreams...and for the ritual attached to it, and the traditions behind smoking it.
from raven72d :
I hope you still have those plaid mini-kilts...
from raven72d :
I wiah you knew how often I fall in love with your words.
from raven72d :
Your oldest entries do make me sigh...
from raven72d :
call soon... we'll do drinks by phone.
from octoberbloom :
I am glad you remember. How are you hun? *hugs* Phil xxx
from raven72d :
I hope you'll write more about your life at 16-21...
from raven72d :
I love that image of you in stilettos and a plaid mini... And you did promise to call me...
from octoberbloom :
Hey.. uh, I don't know if you remember me.. I was once Darkself, and I was looking through my old profile, and I wanted to say Hi.. It's been a long time. I hope you're well. Phil xxx
from cybers1ut :
Why do you never call me?
from cybers1ut :
Apparently getting swept up in games is not only something I excel at, but seem to, on some level, enjoy. How exciting for me. I am far too old for this shit, aren't I?
from raven72d :
Will you stay with her?
from cybers1ut :
Throwing things is perfectly normal, as is yelling, bouts of crying, inexhaustible rage... Coming off of meds is THE WORST, and I think you know well that it's not good to make judgment of yourself while doing so. Give yourself a few months to sort yourself out, and then give yourself a few months to sort the sort because it is everchanging and despite what people believe, ducks don't like rows (especially not ducklings).
from lovelynight :
good luck :)
from raven72d :
Call me if you're insomniac...
from raven72d :
I wonder if there's a particular flavour of ramen noodles that's most fetishy.
from shotvodka :
I wasn't aware my diary was locked? Ah, excuse me - I think I'm probably just being completely stupid/confused here.
from raven72d :
We'll see... The thing that couldn't be changed is...major.
from cybers1ut :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QoSTFNf3ZU&feature=related Pure love.
from raven72d :
Lovely image of you sleeping naked and alone.
from cybers1ut :
Damn, girl. Why don't you ever stop me when I'm being a selfish piece of shit, and say "Hey, I need to talk!" Call me, even if you hate the idea down to your bones. 954.696.9358 (because you probably never took my damn phone number down in the first place)
from raven72d :
I think the book is sad, haunting, sexy, bittersweet.
from raven72d :
A book for you: Samantha Dunn, "Failing Paris"...
from raven72d :
I'm afraid of bridges, but not of gas stations.
from raven72d :
I wish I could read your 2002-2007 diaries.
from raven72d :
The agoraphobia is something I'm beginning to share.
from raven72d :
Any time, beautiful. I'm always glad to hear from you.
from raven72d :
I know that feeling: the sudden collapse of all sense of ambition.
from raven72d :
What are the rules you live by?
from raven72d :
I like "pommes frites"...
from raven72d :
I hope I do have stage presence in my diary.
from raven72d :
I've always thought you worth knowing...and vur' beautiful.
from raven72d :
Many thanks for the blossom, Serena.
from raven72d :
Tell me if you find a Mimosa tree.
from raven72d :
No parachute pants. No Michael Jackson jackets, either. Lots of skinny ties, though.
from raven72d :
Ummm... <i>were</i> you ever a German spy?
from cybers1ut :
The absolute hardest part is getting over that person and forgiving yourself, but also never running from what you did. Sometimes, in lulls, I still think of relationships I can never mend due to stupid things I've done that I cannot remember, but you move on and eventually build all over again. Reinvention is always entertaining.
from raven72d :
Never hate yourself for roles played in stories long ago.
from raven72d :
Dangerous Liaisons and rye whiskey: good mix.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're updating.
from bliss-sad :
Glad to see you update. You're writing is beautiful.
from octoberbloom :
I don't know if you remember me, but I was once Darkself. I saw your name on my old diary, and wanted to say hello again, so, uh...hello. Take care. *hugs* Phil xxx
from on-empty :
I can't even say how much Graffiti meant to me. So many times I numb myself in the vain hopes of not being hurt, but now I know, it's embracing that helps me let go of the pain. <3
from raven72d :
"Windows" is a beautiful entry.
from raven72d :
Selena...no. No blood in a bathtub. No.
from cybers1ut :
I'm beginning to think things like "real" are a farce... all of it is you. All of it; the good, the bad, the manic, panic, joy, fury, all of it. People may be oblivious to the riptides, but that doesn't make them any less a part of the ocean.
from raven72d :
I do miss your entries...
from cybers1ut :
Cold blooded. Dang.
from cybers1ut :
I love how people call you Serena. Do you ever feel the necessity to correct them?
from cybers1ut :
Maybe she'd give you a new car.
from raven72d :
I miss hearing from you.
from cybers1ut :
Bear didn't move to Texas by any chance, did he? *twitch*
from cybers1ut :
I did call you, so there!
from cybers1ut :
Call me.
from cybers1ut :
You? Believe that other people suck? I thought you were supposed to be pure and loving of all people! Ha! --- Actually, people don't tell me to "get over it" anymore. The only ones that ever did, I was primarily related to. And I do not speak to those people any longer.
from cybers1ut :
Kinda hard not to admit when it's staring you right in the face, waving ever so enthusiastically. "Hi! I'm Misery! I brought from friends Alcoholism, Self-Injury, and Anxiety. We're gonna throw an impromtu party in your head. -- No, you don't have a say."
from cybers1ut :
I gotta wonder, girl, (a question for which there is little answer) when does it get easier?
from raven72d :
I miss hearing from you.
from livesayso :
I can't offer that I understand your plight or your escape or your reasons, but I'm sorry to hear of a near-end to someone I get so much inspiration from. Regardless of the tethers you speak of and the life that has you in its seemingly dizzying grip, or even how responsible you may be for that containment, I wish you luck.
from cybers1ut :
I don't know that people lose themselves to you, per se. I think people choose to float from one escape to the next. I always said, you and I (and all like us) are excellent escape artists. Imagination, illusion, delusion, lusty, child-like, warm walls; the walls that protect, divide, and hold two people both together and at arms length. I know it's horrible now, I know, I know, but it seems like these were things that needed to happen. They were destined to happen. "My only way out is to go... so far in." Just don't give up. I'm waiting to see you again, luminous and well stitched.
from cybers1ut :
Oh, the assumption that I had a self from which to be removed. My identity is planted firmly in ambiguity. I don't know shit about me, just yet. I'm still holding on to that hope that when the time is right, I will let me know.
from cybers1ut :
I'm already well aware of what it's like to lose yourself to someone else. For someone else. In someone else. Well aware. :sigh:
from cybers1ut :
Your entry made me laugh that laugh I'm sure you've always hated. lol I've been tellin' you you were high maintenance for YEARS. lol You are traditionally feminine. You can either embrace it (to some it's quite endearing) or change it, I suppose. (Feh, don't change it) A quote from something I was watching last night, "My mother always said a <i>true woman</i> could force her ideas onto any man."
from cybers1ut :
I still loathe that of that entire poem, the only thing you gleamed from it was my depression... even though it was about growth. lol It always feels like you missed the point of me. I would hate to think that the summation of my existence was my pain.
from cybers1ut :
Seroquel scares me.
from cybers1ut :
I still haven't quite mustered the self-worth to live a productive life. It usually takes the motivation of a romantic partner to get me to live and survive. Any other time, I tend to drown, and I do it magnificently. Prettiest mess you've ever seen.
from cybers1ut :
Seroquel, really?
from cybers1ut :
Our hearts are black and blue and healing the internal hemorrhaging frightfully slowly. I know it doesn't mean much, because you surely have a million and a half people to talk to... but you know that I know. And I know that you know. So... if you want to discuss such things... let's, uhm, know together. Or something. Heh.
from raven72d :
Heat lightning-- lovely image.
from cybers1ut :
Ah, yes, well, whatever. lol It's irrelevant now, and our attempting to be friends seems almost... superfluous given that our knowledge of each other is non-existant. Or rather... entirely incorrect. Neither is what the other supposed.
from cybers1ut :
Ah, maybe you never knew me at all.
from cybers1ut :
lol Why the hell did you choose that quote for me?
from cybers1ut :
Strange how, now, even though we speak frequently infrequently... I feel closer to you than ever I have? As if putting to words innate knowledge, like the sun's rise and fall. I am glad you are doing well.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're writing again.
from tegansarafan :
Scurvy dog, I calls thy bluff! Name seven ways to fly, not one more and not one less, seven. I dares ye, I double dares thee!
from tegansarafan :
happy chrimbo sweetheart
from raven72d :
Merry Christmas, Serena.
from raven72d :
What will you do for Halloween?
from livesayso :
You should tell me about yourself.
from raven72d :
Swan dives-- a lovely image.
from tegansarafan :
But if one couldnt fail, wouldnt that take the challenge and excitement out doing hard things?
from raven72d :
with whom are you falling in love?
from screemingink :
my dear god...i cannot believe i had forgotten of your site. the most beautiful words ever to read. you are so eloquent. ive missed you so.
from raven72d :
road trip visions are wonderful...
from dissimilar :
how is it that your words make me understand the beauty you see? you awaken my fuzzy sight and clear my mind.
from lupee :
my email is cleo_121487@hotmail.com write me anytime i would love to hear from you. love cleo
from raven72d :
three sugars, two creams, yes... and 2 litres of shirley temples... yes, again.
from lupee :
I don't know if you will remember me.I'm in a moment of dispair and so i read your words and I found myself in a place where i was the only one to exist and your words came to life in my head. please write me to say hello
from raven72d :
The entry for 01 July 05 is...so much something I've thought and felt about myself.
from tarynheart :
please come back. i've suddenly stumbled on your diary only to be disappointed that you haven't updated. return and write more beautiful, honest things. <3
from emptysparks :
My heart is empty, it's stillness gathering implications, secret images which someday I fear will madden me when I stand before blank walls, hearing far too much and seeing more than is humanly bearable.I die in a small scisssor arched room, disposseessed of my loves and my belongings. At the same time I know that if I stayed in this room a few days an entirely new life could begin-like the soldering of human flesh after an operation. atwowaydream, your words have been the first to impresss me. Since my searching diaryland. Should you feel an unction, e-mail me at psalm94@aol.com. Realize how very rare and special you truely are, which also makes you a minority,and among the most misunderstood. Celebrate your creative giftedness, which comes at such a high price through suffering. warmest sincerity, emptysparks
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're back.
from spondaic :
hello. i like your writing.
from dissimilar :
can i get a password? why did you lock it? enjoy your day. :)
from on-empty :
Could I get a password please? :)))
from raven72d :
Will I get a password?
from raven72d :
E-mail me about Ms. Moennig... I love those eyes and hipbones, too. And call soon!
from raven72d :
Exactly... Psychedelics are exactly that.
from raven72d :
NYC... You must go to Fort Tryon Park and see the Cloisters...
from zeitgeist05 :
(came to the same conclusion.)
from raven72d :
"only a kiss..." I so envy her-- the ability to attract your kiss. And I envy you the ability to offer it...
from raven72d :
Call anytime you're drinking Grey Goose from slim-stemmed glasses.
from zeitgeist05 :
Regarding the note you left me a while back, the course of life vs. the abrupt "tender--" Which is more important? They could be symbiotic; no light without dark. But is it dark...? Which has more bearing, which carries more weight--can you forget one and still cradle the other?
from raven72d :
"to love with the tenacity of snow..." I do envy you that line... I will fall in love with you via your words-- you do know that.
from raven72d :
Listen to magnetic fields hiss and hum...and call me.
from raven72d :
Erasures... That entry--- *sigh*. Once again, pale-silver girl, I can fall in love with you through your writing.
from raven72d :
It's so incredibly easy to fall in love with you through what you write...
from raven72d :
Platinum... Yes. Your entries are so in my commonplace books...
from lupee :
I love crushes,I love the beginning so unpredictable.You don't know what is to come and you maintain the hope that this is "IT" Its not knowing everything about the person which makes it so exciting...its wanting to discover more secrets,more heart break,more memories and creating your own.
from zeitgeist05 :
In the way you are fascinated and in the way you bring what is normally forgotten into an unforgettable magnitude, I thought tonight that you remind me of a more (or perhaps a differently inclined sort of) feverish Annie Dillard. Perhaps it would suit you to sew up the seams at home, then find a creek or forest that you could live in for a time. You both evoke. --Liz
from raven72d :
"Crushwhore" is lovely. You continue to say so many things that I already think, so many things I believe. I hear your (imagined) voice there in my head sometimes.
from raven72d :
Tell us more about her...
from raven72d :
That means a lot to me, Serena. I hope you will call soon and be a voice...
from raven72d :
Wanderlust... heartbreakingly beautiful entry... I'd love to do Ecstasy with you and watch the stars in the winter sky.
from raven72d :
good advice about ecstasy... and i do think of you in a velvet shirt...
from dissimilar :
i know what you mean about the paranoia from weed. i used to get that way and i could NEVER get high enough to forget the thoughts that lingered from the first hit. but on a good note, i quit smoking it and havent smoked in two weeks, the longest break since i started smoking again. but the munchies... mmm, i loved stuffing myself with food that had never tasted so good.
from raven72d :
Indeed and exactly. And you're of course invited-- urged --to call and talk about small capybaras...
from raven72d :
Parisian rainfall... Another lovely entry. The image of violet snow will stay with me for days.
from raven72d :
I watched "End of Days" and just wanted Gabriel Byrne's trenchcoat. A black Armani trenchcoat is just...key.
from lupee :
Thank-you for your note it meant a lot.You are worth while.I constantly find myself re reading your entries over and over.I love the way you put things your so real and sincere. never stop writing xoxo cleo
from raven72d :
The cocaine entry... That calls to mind so many lost friends...
from raven72d :
Don't give up on writing...
from dissimilar :
your thoughts are always so eloquently put. your words have a character of seduction and beauty that captivates me and leaves me in a dreamy abstraction. simply put, they make me smile.
from raven72d :
I agree absolutely about people who can't live through books... Absolutely.
from sanetwin :
I don't think I could be with someone who didn't love books either.
from raven72d :
I'd so love to drive with you through countryside near Pittsburgh...
from raven72d :
A girl I once adored and was having an affair with mocked me for not being able to parallel park. I never got over it.
from lupee :
Happy new year darling! your writing is so beautifull its poetry like music to my ears you have a gift.I love reading what you write because you say everything in such a way that I can picture it in my head.magnificent write me back! xox cleo
from love-no-more :
I wanted to wish you a Happy New years, a couple of hours way to late:)...."You shouldnt turn your head from something which appears to be ugly, because under the cover it could be the most beautifulest thing ever."
from raven72d :
Kisses at New Year's, beautiful...
from raven72d :
Selena-- you have a vivid identity. You'll never be merely someone's wife...
from zeitgeist05 :
Sorry it took me so long to reply. It's strange when someone asks me a reciprocal question and I don't have an answer prepared. I'm just starting serious reading again, so I can't say I have a solid literary background off of which to...depend upon to make me feel a certain way, think a certain way. I'm reorganizing/creating my own library now, and I hope I'll have enough time/energy to keep reading like I have been. Thanks for asking, honestly.
from raven72d :
I'd never screen your calls...
from raven72d :
A beautiful, skilled masochist is always a delight...
from zeitgeist05 :
do you read Alan Ginsberg? If not, give it a go.
from sanetwin :
Merry Christmas!
from raven72d :
I'll have to bring you a neatly wrapped Christmas gift one day and see if you look into my eyes.
from omnipre5ence :
Poor fruitflies...helpless.
from omnipre5ence :
Your secret's safe with me. :)
from dissimilar :
:)
from raven72d :
I've missed hearing from you... And I hope you found the winter landscape beautiful and eerie... By the way-- all the best at Christmas!
from love-no-more :
I love to read your words. no matter what you talk about, i cant help but become intrigued. I havent said anything in awhile, but i havent forgot about you. I hope you havent forgot about me :) Laura seems intresting, someone almost difficult to figure out at times.well bye!
from raven72d :
I read that and couldn't decide whether I'd be excited by Laura or just...frightened.
from raven72d :
E does the same thing. You get to hear too many life stories... The hair thing I hadn't thought of-- but it makes sense. I hope that I'd be allowed to hold hour hair back while you did lines...
from raven72d :
Everyone wants to be loved...and to have the social markers of love-- the diamond, the ornament, the white picket fence... Those things are a way of having society see (and proving to yourself) that you're loved.
from raven72d :
Happy Turkey Day...
from raven72d :
What will you do for the holiday?
from raven72d :
Call soon. I'd love to hear your voice.
from raven72d :
The "fragility" entry was beautiful... And, yes: you'd be a lovely person to watch autumn light with.
from lupee :
go the fuck home...please how many times have I been in that position,so fermiliar.I get the feeling of satisfaction when you feel your writing really says what your trying to get across in such a way its magnicicent. I miss your notes i'm lonely write me soon xoxo
from raven72d :
If you need a listener or a voice, do call.
from sanetwin :
(11/15) What a beautiful way to describe a breakup. I too prefer the warm body despite it's flaws. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you are coping well.
from raven72d :
Grey late-autumn morning here... I love looking out past the pine trees at the clouds and the silent open spaces.
from raven72d :
Please do keep coming here to write. Your words do mean something to strangers far away... They mean a lot to me.
from raven72d :
Lines of coke before breakfast-- that's just incorrect. *Not* what anyone should be doing. And I like children's books, too...
from lupee :
thanks for your note it meant a lot... heartbreak isn't an easy thing to let go of it overshadows every other emotion and leavs you a mess of past memories and present dilema. People these days(including me) are so desencatized to all forms of drugs nothings shocking anymore you hear one person doing a rail of coke in the bathroom and it almost isn't alarming.It's everywhere these days and it always will be.When I was young I was so wrapped up in my own little world oblivious of what was going on around me.Drugs no longer set off alarms in my head but i guess thats a part of getting older? write soon xoxo cleo
from this-year :
Are you a counseller or something?You seem really intelligent,and good at making people feel better!
from lupee :
everytime i read your diary i expect my name to have dissapeared off your favorites list. I know what you mean about the movie thing its like your in a certain vibe the movies put you in and then someone has to open there mouthe. write me back soon darlin xox cleo
from sarkasmo :
I actually dated a guy who made the movie experience unbearable. If he'd seen the movie before, he'd say things like "It doesn't matter, that guy's best friend was actually hired to kill him, you'll see." And if he hadn't seen the movie, he'd ask ME questions "It's her, isn't it? Isn't it? She's the one that...is she a guy? Is she actually a guy in drag?" But during a movie he'd seen (but I hadn't), I once said "Fucking shut the fuck up, you motherfucking cocksucker." Which didn't work either, sadly, because then he felt like talking about how he was just trying to be funny and I didn't have to call him names. Or some shit. My point is, there are some people you just can't watch movies with.
from raven72d :
I hate people who won't shut up during films...
from raven72d :
stay out of jail... take that to heart. and send a long letter. call sometime and tell me about the whole complex affair.
from raven72d :
spending nights in jail-- don't do that. fist fights-- equally wrong. spelling "slut" in scrabble-- actually clever.
from raven72d :
You must call me and discuss hope and possibilities...
from lupee :
love can't be ignored something i've come to realize from experiance.If you love the girl you do it will be more painfull denying it than embracing it.your beauty can't be avoided
from raven72d :
Don't be afraid to fall in love with her.
from dissimilar :
where did you go? i've been wondering what your mind has been up to :)
from raven72d :
Ecstasy nights were always beautiful...the dancing, the revelations, the shifting lights...the feeling of complete openness...
from lupee :
Its been so long since i've writen you.I took a break from the online diary and focused on my diary at home(actual book) I know exactly what its like with the whole ex just resently this guy i was seeing but never went out with started going out with my enemy out of all people and then broke up with her for me and now she hates me even more and I havn't even talked to him since.Everything with me and guys is just way too complicated I want a fling with no attachments write me honey i miss your notes
from raven72d :
So why does the obsessive ex have it in for you?
from sarkasmo :
It sounds like you've got some turmoil. :( *hug*
from raven72d :
You're a girl I want to read Wallace Stevens' "The Idea of Order at Key West" to...
from raven72d :
It's both... creation and anticipation.
from lupee :
Thank you so much for your note.It means everything to me.I think i am going to talk to my doctor about meds I'm just scared it will fuck me up even more than I already am.Its sad knowing that you can't re live the past or go back to the way things once were.In all everyone has to move on eventually leaving whats happened in the past and live to the day not thinking too much of what you did or will do but of what you are doing. I don't know if i'm making any sence now write you soon honey xox lupe
from raven72d :
S/M requires envisioning scenarios and rituals and dialogues... It requires imagination and a longing for literary experiences... It is about the mind and not the flesh.
from raven72d :
Somehow, everything I write is a kind of eulogy. I'm already seeing in my mind's eye the archived, neatly printed version, saved for some later decade.
from theghostgirl :
The unobtainable ones are the worst.
from raven72d :
I, however, like leggy, haunted, literate girls...
from raven72d :
Winter nights... I can huddle down in side my oversize black military jacket and watch the winter skies or watch the tendrils of vapor rising above distant houses. "Edward Scissorhands" was wonderful, by the way.
from raven72d :
Someone at d-land wrote an entry about a child's book where the little boy would wait at the window late at night and look for the approach of a late-night train. I used to do that in New Haven-- wait for the Montrealer to go buy on its way to Canada... It was a wonderfully soothing thing-- watching the NYC-Montreal Amtrak go buy down on the railway cut...
from lupee :
thanks for the note.I know drugs and alchol is no way to mask my depression. I love your latest entry on lucid dreams.I live off of words please write soon honey xox cleo
from theghostgirl :
thank you for your beauty
from raven72d :
Write soon.
from hatexbreathe :
Exactly, unless I am rolling around and foaming at the mouth my parents seem to say anything is just "teenage angst" and not to worry, it can be quite irritating but at least some people understand ^_^
from raven72d :
i do envy you that out of body flight, just as I envy McEarstix her hallucinations.
from raven72d :
Edmund White, "Nocturnes for the King of Naples"... Worth reading.
from raven72d :
feel encouraged to write...and call. I'm very much going to read through your older entries... i hope you'll read mine and comment.
from m6twenty3 :
hello. I rather enjoyed your entry about girls. I've always felt the same way but never knew how to describe it.
from raven72d :
Marianne Faithfull, "Times Square". It's an old song that does make me think of you...
from raven72d :
"Strangers" is a lovely entry...
from lupee :
wow u'r getting notes like crazy these days,with such talent its no wonder you've got such a fanclub.I miss relationships without complication.I've realized now that half the guys I've been envolved with I didn't like to beggin with I guess I just liked the attention from the oposit sex.I've never been with a woman so delicate I just want someone I can feel safe with to hold me when i'm cold.To whoever you were refering to as dusting your writing off of their shoulders I don't think that would be such an easy task your words are beauty all on its own and I'm sure will leave an everlasting impresion on this lost love of yours. keep on smiling xoxo cleo
from raven72d :
you have such fascinating things to say... One night you and I must share many vodka-tonics and talk until dawn. write soon.
from raven72d :
lovely entry about girls... and i like the adjective "fierce" and the noun "brat".
from shebreathes :
girls. yes, girls.
from love-no-more :
im excited that your still reading and of course it counts.you say kind things about my writing and it rensures me that im not as worthless as others think i am. i love to read what your thinking and feeling that day, you have a way with words and emotions that leave me awed.thanks :)
from raven72d :
i do want to sit with you and talk about books and crystal moments.
from hatexbreathe :
Thanks a lot, thats really kind ^_^ But when school starts I need to start focusing on my schoolwork instead of the internet...so I think it will be best just to leave, for now anyway. <3
from lupee :
Everyones weird in their own way.I look at it more as being original.Its what makes us different and stand out in the croud.Don't try and change who you are you'll always be left wanting more.Keep doing what you do and be happy with the wonderfull person you've become smiles xox cleo
from raven72d :
Opium dreams are full of dark, rich colors and a deliberate, almost ominous sense of time...
from raven72d :
the images-- a postcard of an untranslated era, the four words that evoke a thousand pictures --are brilliant.
from silverbiker :
your room sounds wonderful! i wish i lived in it! pooie..
from raven72d :
The 30 August 04 entry is beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. If the entry wasn't in one of those little boxes that defy my efforts to print all of it out, I'd print a copy for my archives and memories.
from raven72d :
you're a finely-crafted and lovely writer...
from lupee :
everyone wants controll over something.An eating disorder can't laugh @ all your lame jokes and make you feel like the only person in exsistance in the world.It brings along the bad and no hint of good.I know that road and it leads to destruction in the end.It will leave you feeling worse than you started out.I'm in no possition to offer hope but you seem strong and you can make it through. hugs sweetheart remember to smile xoxo cleo
from lupee :
I'm excited for you.Having your own place is freadom to do whatever you want and not have to justifie yourself.I'm hoping to save up enough money so that when my sister gets back from traveling we can get our own apartment aswell.I've been taking care of myself for years and I think I'm ready to move on.The only thing that was holding me back was if I could support myself financially but I'm working on it. xoxo cleo
from lupee :
thanks for your note... the feeling of fear of heart break is so fermiliar to me.Right now as for the schools situation I'm still undecided.Having controll over your depression is one thing.Letting yourself be overcome bye the feeling untill it dominates your every move is another.To own it taked power maybe if you push past that you can claim your happiness. xoxo cleo thanks
from lupee :
hey I'm sorry i havn't writen notes 2 you in a while my comp was fucked but i just fixed it. I have so much I want to tell you but @ the same time now that i've come to leaving you a note the words that i wished to say aren't getting through. write back sweet pea i miss your kind words
from screemingink :
asjfalksjdflksjd...why thankyou! im glad you do like em.<333
from hatexbreathe :
thanks, I needed to hear that <3
from screemingink :
<333
from shebreathes :
thank you for the comment. <3 i know you're right. if i can survive my grandfather, i can survive myself.
from lupee :
horescopes are miss leading.Mearly deceiving opinions of one person they can't be trusted.I'm empty of caring words and to say be optomistic i'm sure is no help or encouragement.There is always something to live for.keep your head up high its no reason to die. xox cleo p.s sorry for the lack of notes lately!
from toxiclust :
I thought everyone who read my diary could tell by the second sentence that I was really only an illiterate southerner! ;) I dont think Im all that great at English. All my English teachers never considered me to be smart or anywhere near a satisfactory writer. High school years are a very testing time. Drama is everywhere and itll mean nothing in less than a year. Im just trying to soak up what is left of my childhood while I can. And I totally agree with the notes belowyou should get your writing published!
from deadpainting :
ajgakldjflkaejflajdljafdsflkj!!!!im serious. you can write a bestseller.
from dear-mrs-d :
aghh...this is talent. you need to publish this stuff. my cousin vinny..i remember i had to watch that in debate class, it was alright. but back to your writing. i have no words to describe you though. you are the one with the words though. <33[screemingink]
from deadpainting :
you must must must update more often...i am looking too much forward into reading your entries. <33screemingink
from toxiclust :
wow that is a really cool thing that no one knew about her! its a very neat ability to view things in ways that no other person does. it would be nice if the moon was just a straight tunnel to heaven...
from toxiclust :
my mom has a tendency to hit all sorts of creatures out in the road and i always have to hold back tears. and yes, things have gotten pretty interesting around here. i guess i asked for it, but hey, i didn't ask for all of it. things are getting a little too weird (even for me)! heh. =)
from screemingink :
oh i am in love with you!! simply in love. i cannot describe this talent.
from toxiclust :
i love how i can picture each one of your entries. the details are amazing. and deers are scary! one almost darted out in front of me last week. eek.
from lupee :
Thank you so much for your note.I had a really bad day and it was good to see that you'r willing to listen to my unbearable rambles and attempt to make sence of all my fucked up words no doubt.It means a lot to me xoxo i'll e-mail you pronto thanx-cleooo
from screemingink :
you have a gift
from lupee :
heyy thanks so much for your help sweet pea. I like knowing theres someone out there on my side of the fence. xoxo cleopatra
from lupee :
hey just me again...your note made my day! i've been trying to put you as a favorite diary but it doesn't seem to be working maybe you could help me out thanx darling xoxo cleo
from love-no-more :
your writting is absolutly beautiful.i cant help but keep reading
from lupee :
Just wanted to tell you that your oficially my favorite diary.I read your entries dreading its end and looking foward to the next...you inspire me!
from toxiclust :
aw, shucks. thanks! =) ooh, i would have died without my headphones! they are an absolute lifesaver! i used them to drown out the noise of "karaoke" in the living room while i was trying to go to sleep. they are quite the beautiful invention.
from lupee :
Its hard to let go but you can't dwel on the past.I am in no possision to talk.My relationship with my father is completely aimless and dysfunctional but in a way I've come to terms with it and learned to be self-reliant and independent.
from hatexbreathe :
Yes, but don't we all? *shakes head* He's too beautiful for his own good in my opinion. ^_^
from toxiclust :
your latest entry is absolutely fantastic. you have the greatest ability to put things into words. i love how each of your entries can make me feel those same emotions that you are writing about. oh, and wandering minds are not always a bad thing! where would i be without mine? heh. you're right about catty girls. they are bad these days.
from sarkasmo :
And hash brownies. Next to the anti-depressants.
from lupee :
Its crazy how much I can relate to your last entry.I had a breakdown once in one of my classes which resulted in everyone thinking I'm crazy for just about the rest of my life...and so the journey continues
from toxiclust :
sounds like you have quite a previous history with mase! hehe ;)
from sarkasmo :
I think everyone's entitled to a nervous breakdown every now and then. I also think there should be a 1-2 week bank of days off for this purpose, separate from vacation, sick, and personal days. Mandatory. Any employer not honoring my "mental health days" suggestion can't hold its employees responsible for any violent or venomous mood swings. Also, for high-stress jobs, there should be candy jars filled with anti-depressants on the managers' desks.
from shebreathes :
i can't even tell you how much i relate. i've had a few nervous break downs myself and i was intstitutionalized twice. i'm sorry that you're going through this, but i do think it's good that the part of you who needs to scream got a chance to. you should listen to her more often. <3
from zeitgeist05 :
You're still beautiful.
from gumball-slut :
Thanks a lot, I was just at a low last night, your words helped. <3
from toxiclust :
i can relate to the last paragraph in your latest entry. i hate that nobody gets me too or when they do get a tiny piece then it freaks them out. argh. half baked ice cream is just extremely magical because it has brownies and cookie dough and ben & jerry are pure genius! oh, and good thing i never went to see fahrenheit 9/11 with barbara...she's a big bush fan. i figured it would be a lot of bush bashing, but she's a little odd at times so i don't know how it would have affected her.
from sarkasmo :
Uh huh, Blood and Fire was exactly what I meant. Sometimes I listen to it and relate, and sometimes I listen and am like, "She needs decaf and prozac." ...enough of that, though: I found the "knee deep" song, and it was Michele Malone. Close enough, yes? Maybe the version I heard was *featuring* Amy & Emily. I dunno.
from sarkasmo :
*OLD* Indigo Girls, from back before they had a platform to use for spouting political rhetoric. Back when their albums vacillated between conceptual romantic notions and jealous, angry love songs, depending on which one wrote the tune. And speaking of old Indigo Girls: I'm still looking for a recording that I was told was made by them, called "Knee Deep In Your Shit" (at least, that's the chorus). Great song.
from toxiclust :
i guess it's true what my mom says -- i'm my own worst enemy. it is good to have other peoples views on things. they're very eye opening. hmmm, anti-spam? i used to love that stuff when i was little. i'm not so sure about it now...eck. sausage made in pig intestines is nasty though! im still clueless as to the secret of spam...i'm almost scared to know. i want to go see spiderman 2, but no one will go see it with me! :( was it better than the first one? i cannot even remember the first one that well, but i think it was okay. as for fahrenheit 9/11, i'm dying to see it! uh, dying may not be the right use of words...but yeah.
from sarkasmo :
I would like to apologize for the overuse of the word "melancholy" in my previous note. Thank you.
from sarkasmo :
Yeah, the Smiths are melancholy, but also so political. On melancholy days, I always seem to bust out the old Indigo Girls or, for some reason, REM's Green. If I want to GET melancholy, though, it's Disintegration all the way.
from toxiclust :
just to let you know, i finally trashed those slim jims. woo-hoo! i like your entry...i can relate...but my problem is that i know i own today and all but there's still nothing for me to do...it's crazy sounding, I guess. -- i guess alcohol is an easy escape...that's how i see it. do you really think i'm too shimmery to fall? i wish i could see myself that way if only for a day. and you're shimmery too, ya know. =)
from sarkasmo :
But what makes the Cure such a great band is that they've got one or two albums to suit any mood you could possibly be in - not just depressed!
from toxiclust :
i am all for the anti-slim jim club! i still have those ones from my birthday inside my house -- major ew! haha, who can really eat those things? i just can't believe it.
from hatexbreathe :
I adore your diary <3
from shebreathes :
oh i understand about the ecstasy. i love it love it love it. right now i'm not doing it because i don't have anyone i want to do it with. and that artificial closeness and intimacy can be dangerous with the wrong people. but it was beautiful. so fucking beautiful.
from darkself :
yeah of course! :D can i add you too?
from darkself :
awwww, thankyou so much. I love your layout too. Its kind of....dreamy. lol. I got mine from a design dite though..im totally hopeless at html. lol. thanks for my poetry compliment. im just gonna post again funny enough. lol
from heidiann :
Welcome to the Geek Love ring! Thanks for joining! =)
from toxiclust :
thank you! you always make me feel better. =) i guess my dad not being around both helped me and hurt me. he wasn't a good "influence" (for the lack of a better word) but even with all his faults i wish he still would have cared about me.
from zeitgeist05 :
That's why songs are written and sung, and why poetry is written to people without a name. They're the words and the airs and the sun and water you don't let pour onto anybody, lest they run; every song tries to write angels into the world. And don't they, though? And...on music. Don't you know I could go forever and still continue to be inspired to new heights/depths?...skewed yet wholly at the heart. Iwonder if most people realize and ignore, or is it really beyond them? I'll try and keep my mind off that unhappy possiblity; I'm not bitter yet.
from pirate-life :
Thank you for the comment, I agree with you. But sometimes I am just overwhelmed with the fakeness that I forget that I have people that don't, for lack of a better term, suck.
from xsweetpoetry :
thank you so much, love. you're diary is absolutely gorgeous. i adore the way you write, i'm positive also that you'll find somebody who makes every single thing fall into place and it will be beautiful.
from toxiclust :
stilettos are the coolest! and thanks for the advice...i guess i do deserve to feel hot sometimes. it sure beats always feeling down on myself.
from shebreathes :
insanely brilliant.
from zeitgeist05 :
I feel the same way about beauty; it overwhelms me far too often, I know, but it's like a drug I'm addicted to.
from toxiclust :
ah, love is so complicated. i try to keep a clear head. i try to be patient...it's terribly hard not to give up altogether.
from dissimilar :
your words are beautiful. i always look forward to reading your thoughts.
from toxiclust :
im really sorry about your friend :(
from toxiclust :
well said. =)
from toxiclust :
a few months ago my step-cousin (who i hadn't seen in a couple of years until then) started acting really creepy around me. it freaked me out so bad because i really thought of him as my real cousin. he's like twice my age...so it pretty much just scared me and i try not to think much more of it. ;)
from toxiclust :
wal-mart shoppers bother me too. -- thanks for the note you left me. it made me feel better. i dont know if im really strong. i feel like im in pieces right now. thank you so much for your kind words though. they were lovely. <3
from toxiclust :
ah, yes. God works every day against me. he's so busy i do not see how he has time for anyone else! =) perhaps i'll get to see preston in a hat. it won't be a complete loss if i don't. i'm quite afraid he'll turn me against hats altogether. it would be quite a shame. i agree, hats do add such a zing of sexiness!
from toxiclust :
i agree...i don't think i could work for mary kay or anything like that. i just wouldn't want to bother people and i'd always feel bad about not making a sell. heck, i can't even sell you a dime for a nickel. ;)
from shebreathes :
your words are beautiful and crazy and sometimes feverish. i like it.
from toxiclust :
thanks for adding me! that's so nice of you =)
from bigedtheory :
: ) thanks for adding me. It's greatly appriciated. I'll add you as soon as I can.
from bigedtheory :
I like your diary. It's cool. Good writing. I like it.
from sarkasmo :
I like your writing. You seem depressed right now (but more lucid than I ever was following a breakup), but keep writing things down and I'll keep reading them.
from menrbastards :
Hey! Has a guy done you wrong? Want to share about it? If so, we're the place for you! Check it out, more info is provided on how to send in your stories! Hurry! We want to hear about the slimeballs! Check it out, link us, and promote! Thanks! *Men-R-Bastards Crew*

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