DiaryLand members area

Thanks for the advice. I found out SB is working out a corporation-wide scheme for assistance. I've been poor and frugal about electricity all of my life, but there is no Public Transport here. Largest city in the US without. Promise. So, I have no other way to get to work other than driving as it is about 10 miles away from my house. Work's pretty much the only place I go, though. I hope you are comfortable and I wish I could help. Would love to read a status report. Take care of yourself, K. B.

from number9dream :

I hope you and your loved ones are weathering the storm with minimal damage. Please let us know you are alive. Take care, B.

from throwingjuly :

i miss the old entries. but as long as you're happy...

from number9dream :

Just wanted to leave you a note to let you know I've been thinking about you. Hope all is well. B

from number9dream :

Thank you, K, for your kind words. I do know what you mean. I have only the utmost respect for anyone who can give themselves fully to one faith or another; that's why I can't mock my gpa or anyone else by pretending to believe. I don't think it's fair to them, to myself, or to their God. It's a hard time for all of us, we just have to cope in the best ways we know. Thanks again, B

from batten :

I'm a little confused. Who are you and what did you do with our Ken? Not that I have anything against bible verses, I just miss Ken's writing. Thank. -Jenn

from omorfia :

wishing you abundant love and laughter this christmas. and always. hope all is good is your world. i miss you.

from omorfia :

no no .. i think you were right the first time :p (did you get my email the other day?)

from moonrattles :

I've been watching the weather channel tonight and hope you are doing okay. Thoughts for you and your loved ones. Hope that's as good as prayer; it's the closest I can do. Be safe. B.

from labeled-girl :

i've started making up little songs in my own little made up language. then, that sort of developed into conversations on my own in made up languages. but it got very confusing for everyone else when i decided that the words i've been given aren't sufficient as far as interaction is concerned, and i began to reply to questions in my own made up little language. but i found, in their own little way, they still knew what i was saying, but they didn't want to admit it. comics are like that. if you want some good ones to read, that will rip your language apart, let me know. in fact, just go into a comic store and ask for any book by brian wood (channel zero or demo in particular) or warren ellis (transmetropolitan). and i'm serious about the made up language. it drives people up a wall, but i swear it keeps me on the very edge of sanity.

from throwingjuly :

i'm never happy with the notes i leave for you, but as i was putting on my eyeliner just now, your entry somehow came to mind, and for a second there i thought i had something to say about it. then i re-read it and remembered how woefully inaccurate my memory is, but i turned on the damn computer especially for this, so i'm going to leave a note whether i say anything pertinant or not. what i had wanted to say was how sad it seems we so often limit ourselves to this deluded notion of 'love' that gets tossed around so carelessly by romantic poets and dreamers. i could go on, but i don't think that'd be a good idea.

from omorfia :

i love you

from princess03 :

wow, that's some pretty deep writing, i'm in awe at the beauty of it all - i guess it's a life choice for her to be with you and you to be with her. i feel that if you two want to be together, then nothing should stand in the way and based on her thoughts and writings, well, i figure that she really wants to be with you and the fact that you posted it here, well, i think that you want to be with her as well. good luck with it all though.

from lauralgood :

Well isn't this fun! I am going through my notes looking for a specific quote a lovely one left me and I found your words, again. I am not sure where I lost you but somewhere I did. I think I will come back and see more, once again. So have a happy night and remember you never, never know where you are going to leave joy for people. Love Laural

from throwingjuly :

well, kenny boy, the name that caught on and stuck from people independently of each other who all think they're being really clever is "nicola" said like that old Ricola commercial. and perhaps i used the word 'love' to readily. who knows.

from throwingjuly :

you HAd to bring that to my attention, didn't you? if it was insensitive, it was only because i'm leaving for a roadtrip this weekend to the Southwest, so no, i won't be seeing the pixies, thank you very much, and yes, there are deep flaws with my argument., but i'll say it was because i was tired. hope you are well.

from upcountry :

THUnderground TOTALLY rocks! I love it. My kids are very annoyed with me for monopolizing the PS2. Normally I never play video games, but come on, Tony Hawk is the man. Oh, and if sucking dick at home would get me cable internet, I'd have had it 10x over. Maybe I should quit. =)

from exhaust :

Thank you. That was pretty cool. *mwuah*

from throwingjuly :

wow...so is the penguin suicidal or the bear homicidal? if its both then it seems a match made in heaven. personal best: 751.1

from omorfia :

well, i miss you.

from omorfia :

i second that emotion. suspicious minds is incredible. have you seen 'breathless' with richard gere?

from g1rly-g1rl :

thankyou so much! :P I've fixed it now.

from omorfia :

Merry Christmas Ken .. lotsalove x0x0

from swandiving :

Remember when you used to update more frequently? I liked that. I hope you're well.

from omorfia :

did you know your guestbook isn't working? or maybe it just hates me. Hi.

from bejaluna :

maps are good - even when they only exist to burn...

from upcountry :

hey ken, good to see you again. thanks for the words - FYI, at 14 I was a pretty good kid. into duran duran and boys. had a pretty strict mother so I didn't do much if any defying. i maybe I am too lax. god knows my kid is not in the least afraid of me or any consequences. hmph! dang fool chile, that's all i can say. ;) love ya. xo

from omorfia :

it's your birthday over here in my world. i wish you the happiest of days .. now and always. i love you.

from parlance :

I am advertising myself.

from lagrimitas :

That sounds like a great place to eat and since someone was recently in New Orleans they have this review for another restaurant, might want to read it...http://www.magiric.com/weblog.php?id=C0_1_1 wish I were traveling as well *sighs*

from omorfia :

you're right, of course. thank you. and i love you.

from persimmon :

I miss talking to you/reading your diary. I'm having trouble keeping writing up myself. What if I ask you some questions and you answer them if you feel like it? Topic is given, no need to think. 1) Do you feel your age? 2) Why aren't flowers, being genitalia, considered rude? 3) I don't know whether you've been to NY city, but if you haven't, what's your impression of what you'd find? If you have, how did the reality match up to your expectations? ---that's all I can think of for now. Take care.

from omorfia :

ooh! this layout is sexy !! all these sultry chocolate browns ... mmm. :)

from literatim :

I'm going to pretend we're already halfway into a conversation, so that way the incidentals are out of the way (Hi, hello, fine, you?, splendid) and talk about what really matters. What really matters to you anyways? (Isn't it much nicer jumping to the middle? Unless, of course, you'd rather jump to the end and work our way back. Anything other than the beginning; that's so overdone, don't you think?)

from candoor :

and another aries reads again.... laughing at the coincidence of truth.

from wing1 :

no wonder i'm so drawn to you...i'm an aries.

from abstrusely :

I love the new layout, and the fact that you are now notable again. the after-sex comments are a riot. I am very much a Scorpio.Can you hear the whip cracking in the background?

from no-yes-maybe :

I am featuring your after-sex comments on my diary! Thanks, your diary is pretty cool!

from throwingjuly :

a good maxium to keep, i think.

from ramanda :

I know fuck all about love, but I know a thing or two about music. If you want harpsichord, you want Tori Amos' Boys for Pele.

from the-noise :

Hey there, thank you! :)

from lauralgood :

Oh my Goddess. I just read the comment you put about me...You think I am interesting? That has got to be one of the best compliments I have gotten in a long time. I am feeling so low today. But life will continue and I will be better tomorrow. You kinda knocked my socks off. love and peace. laural

from lauralgood :

yeah I think our signs match. the only reason i brought it up was because I was thinking of the girl when I was reading your comment. I knew some people who live near starkville, who went to school up there. seemed a nice place. but nothing (for me) compares to the coast. Unless New Mexico is an option then I would probably go for it. I love nights when the lightning is flashing. It is one of the great things about living in Mississippi. i love the rain. Have a great night and hmmm...to you too! laural

from throwingjuly :

'The Master and Margarita' is one of my favorite books ever; it is absolutely brilliant. And i think somewhere in it is a whole world that Ayn Rand never really got. Namely love and compassion. Plus there's a nice bit in there about the devil...

from lauralgood :

Well three is a great number, huh? sorry about the duplicate message. musta clicked twice.

from lauralgood :

Crazy about us being born in the same year (feb) for me. I think that makes us compatable under the horoscope and if it doesn't I will change it now. Lets see are you a Capicorn? I had a girlfriend once who was completely into the horoscope and I tried to read up on it. I didn't get very far...but I am good at making things something they are not so we are compatable (even if we are not.) so biloxi huh? where are you living now? I am glad you wrote back. I,too, will continue to look into your diary. Yours is much longer than mine and from the looks of it more interesting too. well talk with you soon. have a great night.

from lauralgood :

Crazy about us being born in the same year (feb) for me. I think that makes us compatable under the horoscope and if it doesn't I will change it now. Lets see are you a Capicorn? I had a girlfriend once who was completely into the horoscope and I tried to read up on it. I didn't get very far...but I am good at making thinks something they are not so we are compatable (even if we are not.) so biloxi huh? where are you living now? I am glad you wrote back. I,too, will continue to look into your diary. Yours is much longer than mine and from the looks of it more interesting too. well talk with you soon. have a great night.

from throwingjuly :

what are your feelings on Ayn Rand? (p.s. have you ever read "the Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov?)

from lauralgood :

Was looking at who else from Mississippi was on here and ran across your diary. I have not met my tree yet but there was this cloud once in the sky and I knew it was me at another time. It was a beautiful fluffy cloud... I will visit your site agian. thanks for writing.

from ramanda :

Sky-watching on the tailgate of a truck sounds lush. I'm in.

from exhaust :

... which reminded me of an ex-boyfriend who always asked, "Would you like a small towel?" (I was eating ice cream)

from exhaust :

First, what happened to the pretty picture? Second, I sense something is going on with you... Third, I typed this with one hand.

from throwingjuly :

i'd like to find that place too..i wonder if you have to know the language?

from exhaust :

It will come slowly, like everything else.

from lagrimitas :

simply loved the way you answered question 5-applesss interesting indeed =)

from stormyclaude :

see thru all your walls & all your flaws. now you're in deeper than sleep.

from moonrattles :

Okay. It occurs to me that I know what is wrong. J just installed a new video card. Feeling silly.

from moonrattles :

I was disappointed to find I was a mere 19% Dork. Geek. I can't remember. Maybe it was Nerd? Why do I need to download something to access your table of contents? I don't like that. This is J's computer and I don't want to jumble it up with all sorts of software he doesn't want. Not very user friendly. On another note, I want to play, too! I really need some prompts. Hope you are taking care and enjoying, B

from stormyclaude :

sometimes i'm afraid, too (finally found a fear worse than the fear of death*), and then i realize that no matter which way i go (love or solitude) it's still that bastard love keeping me down--so i guess i'd rather embrace love and try to use its power positively (though i may be [and am] wounded along the way), than remain a prisoner of that which is slowly making me lonelier. *Which, w/r/t the fear of death: i can't decide whether i'm afraid to die having not 'truly lived' blah blah, or whether i am afraid that i will finally be happy and THEN i will kick the bucket with the same accurate old sod's law i seem to embody.

from felicezombie :

heh,I took the dante inferno test a few weeks back and I was level seven, too...

from exhaust :

Haha! I'd give a pretty penny to see Fat Shaq in short shorts.

from exhaust :

I think I need to know what things I will not compromise on, because I've spent my life compromising, until what I'm left with is nothing... And, I know, for a fact, I'm the only one that will ever complete me. Another important fact: A list of wants, not needs.

from throwingjuly :

this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll keep on singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends....

from throwingjuly :

thank you very much for your support. even long distance, it helps.

from wolfgirl88 :

Your quiz thing...very funny. *lol* ~sigh~ i knew something like that would happen! XD

from patadrina :

You entries are really beautiful. I look forward to them.

from fieryswallow :

I never thought of sanctuary and validation.But I can see why you would. And why I would say passion and apathy. Your entries have become more intropsective....you're wading out a little deeper....when you said what you did about walking down the same road, facing the same problems, again. It reminded me of Portia Nelsons poem...Autobiography in five chapters. The need to disappear....I find it comforting. Although I'd rather fade. Be invisible. Running is tiring. It got me nowhere. But it's impulsive and instinctive and I have to consciously think 'Fade...don't run'. Because ultimately, it's rare that anyone actually runs from something. We run from the one thing we can't out run...ourselves.

from lagrimitas :

I've asked myself that many times....*sighs*

from elipsis :

i think we all are. i guess it's just a good argument for staying as deep and close to the middle as you can... :)

from bytwilight :

You'd chat with me?! I'm flattered. No, really, I am. But I'm also chicken :) Again, I'm serious.

from throwingjuly :

Nietzsche says in 'Birth of Tragedy' that music is the thing that most approches the true essence of all things, that it both reveals the secret meanings of the world and provides the purest commentary on it. the way he writes about it makes it seem a natural act, but isn't it unnatural to play an instrument, or use the voice in the operatic style that he was so fond of? it's easy to both agree and disagree with this interpretation, but it is undeniable that music touches something in us that can correspond with the sacred, and leads us into a state that might not otherwise be so accesible. (i write this as i listen to Built to Spill's song 'Else' for the third time)

from felicezombie :

Hey thanks for signing my guestbook...you know, a funny thing about glasses...I was looking at the stats on my main webpage recently. I noticed I had about three hundred hits to the pics part of my page from one site, so I followed the link to check it out...apparently, my site had gone up on some glasses fetish message board, which I thought was amusing...anyhow there's no point to what I'm saying but it just made me think of that so I thought I'd share...

from felicezombie :

yeah, those fuckers...I looked over the info online (since they eliminated the phone reps for financial aid last October) and thought I knew *why* they did it. I then talked about it with my significant other, and we both agreed that I really had no choice but to drop out...then I was checking some stuff a little while ago, and noticed that my financial aid was back...?...but I've already dropped my classes... I was going to wait, but I figured it was like a hang nail, the sooner you can rip it off and put a band aid on it, the sooner you'll get over it...so I have no idea what's what right now, aside from the fact that I very much need a drink...

from labeled-girl :

he never thought it fit the book. we had a few discussions about it. we were just never sure. who knows, it will always be up in the air, just like his jane chords.

from felicezombie :

Yeah, and I've found--at least for me--that creative classes are the worst. I think it's because stuff like art and creative writing really aren't quantifiable in the way a class in physics or anthropology would be, yet the teachers feel they are in a position to do exactly that...

from cuillin :

i never thanked you for directing me to nanowrimo...it monopolized my life for awhile, and i needed that. also for such a wonderful comment in your profile...i just noticed that. i needed that, too. xoxoxo

from elipsis :

you know, as soon as i posted that entry i thought: "i should write one about how simple everything REALLY is..." but that seemed too complicated. i still don't know about wanting, though. i just haven't felt it. the transient itch, i mean. i think it's just the difference between experiencing happiness and anticipating happiness. i'm very good at experiencing happiness... i've just never learned to associate it with things 'a priori.' umm.. so the cold beer? i'd love it but i wouldn't think to ask for it. i'm stuck drooling for some earth-shaking revolution that will probably never happen. :)

from cuillin :

umm...at this point, I don't remember what the hell I was talking about. Sorry.

from cuillin :

like whom? xxx

from seralynn :

What am I to do? When no one wants just friendship, and everyone wants something more? Shall I be alone then? Live with worry and care. Sometimes, I think, that is their problem, not mine. Thank you for the advice however. Besides, I do not know myself, or what I want. Sometimes I want more, Sometimes I dont.

from untame-able :

I would just say that there is no evil.

from cuillin2 :

you said: "So now I'm caught up again. You are writing one godammit captivating story my friend. I was pissed off to see the nanowrimo logo; not ready to be at the bottom of the page." Just you wait. The fireworks are about to go off. THANK YOU for such a lovely note. xoxox

from throwingjuly :

that was a brillian/beautiful entry. trying to figure out how to deal with one's own fate is a hard, and you put it wonderfully.

from felicezombie :

I wouldn't be adverse to the south, esp. if it were some place like Atlanta or New Orleans but the boy has the same aversion to heat as I do to cold, so we've been trying to find something moderate by way of compromise :-)

from cuillin :

SO nice of you to say...I added a little more to the story tonight, if you want to read it. Your comments are held in higher regard than most others, so that note truly meant the world to me. thank you, thank you. xoxoxox

from felicezombie :

hey there...thanks for filling out my survey. I did in fact take a break from keeping a diary, but then I found I missed it, so I opened up a new account, only this time signed up for a gold membership. I'm signed up for a year, and I'm not keeping any other diaries besides this one, so I should be sticking around for a little while :-)

from amberfalls :

Hey! Thanks for filling out my survey, I really enjoyed reading your answers. Tennesse Williams is one of your favorite writers? That's absolutly wonderful! You know, I always wanted to be Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. -A-

from bytwilight :

Here's your clue.

from quantum87 :

I thankyou for caring.. Your kinds words have touched my heart.. Yes, I have a heart.. I love you, my friend. One day I will thankyou properly.. till then : http://img2.ranchoweb.com/images/x_valium_x/iloveyou.jpg .xo.

from throwingjuly :

saddness comes with the territory. its interesting to note that if you start refering to yourself in the third person, or wear bunny ears out in public, it starts to feel better. or maybe it's just that the funny looks people start giving you are interesting to watch.

from ghanima :

I am listening to "Jezebel" right now, but honestly I came to your diary because of your username. Orpheus and I have a long and complicated history. Nevertheless, I enjoyed both immensely. Come sing to me, wandering seeker.

from throwingjuly :

thanks--that means a lot to me. all your insights have been increadibly intelligent and i thank you for them as well. there's always the chance that the habit may not break entirely, but for the moment, there is the need to externalize myself as i haven't done before. goodluck on your own road. --nicole

from preceptionss :

precept n 1: rule of personal conduct. This is a new public diary, and actually, there are no rules.

from silent-heart :

Well, im glad someone agrees with me on that point at least. BTW, I didn't know my links were doing that. They should be all fixed now. Thanks for letting me know. Hope you have enough incentive to go back and read from the beginning.

from throwingjuly :

thanks for all your insights. for the most part, i agree with you. one day, though, i know it's going to be great.

from bytwilight :

If you come across anything familiar in your perusing of my diary (and I suspect you will, because you aren't dumb), please don't mention it. Just...shhhh. Thank you.

from throwingjuly :

the answer i came up with but didn't write was that we are but we're not--which could be seen as a cop-out, but i see as the truth in everything, take it or leave it.

from e-rratica :

I thrive on compliments. but people like you, whos writing I admire, saying nice things about me/my diary? ah.. I'm somewhere between squirming and grinning.

from paper-rose :

Thanks for adding me to your favorites list, honey. ~hugs~

from erato :

either easy or significant, but seldom both...
oh, how true it sings.

from lasirene :

2 characters: a beautiful five year old girl with Shirley Temple curls with a deep affinity for angels and butterflies and a forty-one year old Columbian male artist, chef and visionary recently relocated to the United States. Place: At a small table outside a used bookstore/cafe 2 objects: a Blue and gold Betta Fish with magical powers a Leather bound version of Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales An adjective: veiled Abstract word: Love Hope this provides some inspiration, or just silliness or maybe a little bit of both with some magic thrown in for good measure. Glad to see a new entry by you. Your writing, your spirit is like a beautiful song that you don't get to hear nearly enough. Hope all is well with you! --lasirene (J)

from quixotic-one :

the truth is crucial, a lie will make something die

from e-r-i-s :

i just realized you have forsaken the genius that is Reservoir Dogs. *tsk* *tsk*

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