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Understand, we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear.

It's all lies.

My favorite diaries:

addieplum    profile - diary
comments:  "he has some kind of rash, which he thought was just chafing, but it is really hurting. i told him as long as nothing is oozing, he should just try some gold bond. i hear it's great for swamp ass."
bevin    profile - diary
comments:  "I wanted to say something supportive, but I was so overtaken by his gayness (I think there were rainbows shooting out of the phone) that I just said 'Yeah, bigoted state' or something to that effect"
blonde32810    profile - diary
comments:  "I have to find some way to blame this on Bush."
blandman    profile - diary
comments:  "Where I work, there is a men's room that has a shower area. If you get all hot and worked up over a nasty meeting, you can go and shower it off."
ladeeleroy    profile - diary
comments:  "To mourn, I went out and bout a 5 piece Crispy Chicken Nugget, a Jr. Cheeseburger Delux without Cheese, and a medium coca-cola. figured that Dave Thomas' life was worth about $4.36 to me."
btchelicious    profile - diary
comments:  "Last night I dreamt I had a penis. Attached to me. I was not a man, but I had a penis. It was long. And it felt good. I couldn't stop touching myself. It was a great dream."
vyv-xx    profile - diary
comments:  "I'm going to cover everything I own in skulls. "
corazon    profile - diary
comments:  "Well, on a brighter note, I got some intense eye contact from hot tub cutie yesterday. That was kind of nice. I still don't know if I am interested. At some angles, he looks quite a bit like a monkey."
sirawesome    profile - diary
comments:  "Worst present ever: a big popcorn tin divided into caramel, cheddar, and butter... except the caramel and cheddar are already eaten and in their place is a used VHS copy of Mississippi Burning."
freuds-fave    profile - diary
comments:  "And I'm not wearing a cross either. That's disgusting, too. If Christ were hung, everyone would wear noose lavaliers. Or if he were guillotined or drawn and quartered? Or burnt at the stake? You'd all be wearing flaming twigs&
dig-bacon    profile - diary
comments:  "So I guess the real question here is: Why is Benadryl legal, but marijuana isn't?"
kingdomcum    profile - diary
comments:  "It was a little disconcerting on those occasions when a female character whipped out her fat prick and beat off in my mouth. Spooge was in my hair, on my face, my chest, arms, legs, groin. And the chipmunks held me down til it dried in the sun.
gardenflower    profile - diary
comments:  "Did I ever tell you about the time my valium-soaked sister brought her uninvited married boyfriend to my wedding?"
zaziel    profile - diary
comments:  "I don't know if it's the horses that smell sexy as much as it is the horsemen, who smell of horses. And leather. And sweat. And heat. Oh, yeah, heat has a smell."
ihatepizza    profile - diary
weeme    profile - diary
comments:  "It was a veritable sea of mammoth man boobs. Some hairy, some not. Some sporting pierced nipples, some not. All unattractive."
ghostie    profile - diary
comments:  "I saw a lot of people like that in the VA hospital, and the stronger among us would beat and rape them in the showers to keep our minds sharp."
i-cleave    profile - diary
jackviolent    profile - diary
peteandray    profile - diary
comments:  "Listen: I do not care about your personal ass issues. I do not care about "seepage". I do not want to know about what is wrong with your asshole, and I do not want you telling me what is wrong with your asshole.
kuinileti    profile - diary
addicted2ski    profile - diary
comments:  "I always feel sort of strange when I'm without underthings - and I find myself checking my fly a lot to make sure Gladys Knight and the Pips aren't making an unintentional appearance"
madrigle    profile - diary
gayfraud    profile - diary
minderella    profile - diary
greatgadfly    profile - diary
comments:  "I mean, I'm just sitting here doing my thing at work, and when I yawn or sneeze or cough, I get a blast of my own oral odor and physically recoil from myself. I AM MY OWN PRISON!"
nudeplatypus    profile - diary
comments:  "JFK and Cleopatra "open-mouth kissing" kind of grosses me out. However, I believe this is mostly due to the slurpy sound effects"
pablo    profile - diary
peth    profile - diary
comments:  "now, don't get me wrong, they aren't dragonlady talons which cause me trouble whilst wiping my arse, but the thing is i just haven't had nails of any length whatsoever since high school."
riatsala    profile - diary
hucksterfinn    profile - diary
toothbrush    profile - diary
comments:  "That last comment wasn't meant to diss anyone who owns a vibrator. I might have one myself if I didn't have such manual dexterity. "
idiomatic    profile - diary
quiconque    profile - diary
comments:  I hate her.
oohlala    profile - diary
whip-smart    profile - diary
castigada    profile - diary
comments:  "I mean, shit, where do those payasos get off charging nearly one month's rent for a chingada mesa! For a table to cost that much, I'd expect it to be more than just occasional."
redblur    profile - diary
invisibleink    profile - diary
inarticulate    profile - diary
wendchymes    profile - diary
comments:  "You always complain and try to wrestle away, but you are my poetry, my canvas, my little paper moon boy."
whyihateyou    profile - diary
spunkygypsy    profile - diary
magookkg    profile - diary
insilico    profile - diary
comments:  "This is the place in the narrative where Aphrodite flashes her tits"
twobaddogs    profile - diary
leonmcphelps    profile - diary
epiphany    profile - diary
nonce    profile - diary
scanzilla    profile - diary
comments:  "Dear Diary..... I am very busy,stupid meetings never end......let's make out. Love Dan."
fulminous    profile - diary
soapboxdiner    profile - diary
prolific    profile - diary
comments:  "Why alcohol compels people to document their inebriated exploits for posterity is mindboggling. I don't ever want to see that drunken film of me drinking a Burning Asshole.* Ever. Sober or drunk, I'm never watching that movie."
heckafresh    profile - diary
breaux    profile - diary
dishery    profile - diary
comments:  "A rude and abrasive doctor from Harvard, with whom I am regrettably forced to correspond, misspelled "syphilis" on his CV. Ha!"
migrainegirl    profile - diary
lovepuddles    profile - diary
comments:  "But once I did start peeing there was so much pee! I mean, there was like a total puddle there on the side of the road and it started like flowing off the shoulder, you know? Like it had a current."
brownboy    profile - diary
comments:  "She said she was ugly and that probably no one wanted to fuck her. I felt sorry for the girl and unknowingly observed 10 seconds of silence, lamenting the fact that she was too hideous to plow."
saint-louise    profile - diary
comments:  "I think I might have to go just to get a picture of the school events dome, which looks remarkably like a breast. Iím convinced they gave it the pink paneling and the nipply sky-lights that top it off on purpose"
dirtynerdluv    profile - diary
modelesque    profile - diary
floor-corn    profile - diary
six30    profile - diary
comments:  "At this very moment I am medicated with 12-hour allergy medicine have a puffy left eye due to a Stye. Should be another history making Christmas."
beotch    profile - diary
comments:  "I hope next time you pick your plate up off the dinner table and lick it clean, you choke on a piece of porcelain."
seanandjacob    profile - diary
kstyle    profile - diary
discodave    profile - diary
spindle    profile - diary
z0tl    profile - diary
comments:  Indezcribable
cindie-loo    profile - diary
nekono    profile - diary
comments:  back!
habbit    profile - diary
zantimisfit    profile - diary
thbestfriend    profile - diary

My favorite music:

Moxy Fruvous
comments:  Have you really changed that much since school? When any nazi couldn't swim in your pool? Your new boyfriend is a bit of a right wing shit.
Vertical Horizon
comments:  we're covered in lies and that's ok.
Barenaked Ladies
comments:  buy buy buy buy sell sell sell
Duncan Sheik
comments:  there is a swan white curtain somewhere within the sky
so many others

My favorite movies:

Rear Window
The Manchurian Candidate
so many more

My favorite authors:

Augsten Burroughs
Kinky Friedman
Amisted Maupin
Christopher Buckley
lots more

give sooner a gift
leave a note for sooner
sooner's personal info (location)
diaryrings which sooner belongs to
diaries which list sooner as a favorite diary
last updated: 2006-02-02 12:33:12
this user's total entries: 338
user since: 2001-04-07

AOL IM name: sooner5555
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