messages to hothead:
(click here to add new message):

from rainbow127 :
So I've come back and reawakened this old thing. ♥
from papersails :
I met Diane DiMassa-- that is the name of Hothead's creator, right? Well, anyway, she gave a lecture at my college once and I talked to her a little bit afterwards. :)
from fuschiashock :
aw, i'll miss you.
from fuschiashock :
*poke* how are you? (also, since i just looked at your profile and saw that inside---out is listed there, i thought i'd let you know that it's closed - i'm updating on this account and on livejournal.)
from fuschiashock :
do you sound like this? http://accent.gmu.edu/browse_language.php?function=detail&speakerid=75
from fuschiashock :
i'm very pleased to hear that you're doing well. how is the kate bornstein book? it's something i've been wanting to read for a while.
from dragprincess :
LOVE IT! Hoping to convert to yoga as well - I've heard it works wonders. Love the joy!
from fuschiashock :
how are you?
from miedema2002 :
I'm so sorry that the system is screwing you over. The system seems to be screwing everyone over these days and when I say system I mean government institutions! Stay strong hunny! Maybe J and his family can advocate on your behalf. You could ask. They sound really nice and I'm sure they'd want to pick you up whenever you fall especially your bf.
from pstlyfdiva :
You know, I have always wanted to be a drag king, everyone thinks I am crazy as well. You should do a duet, 2 of the most femme girls in town kinging it up!
from peggeylc92 :
Next time, I will definitely forgo the trendy end of Manhattan and snag fun drink stirrers from the Zombie Hut! But I might have to venture back to Hogs & Heifers to drink with the afternoon crowd.... hugs, pegs (who forgets *how* to leave notes, being the type of girl who breaks programming on a MacIntosh....)
from miedema2002 :
Glad things are so wonderful with life and the family! Rock on!!
from femme-inine :
Thank you, darling girl. :)
from femme-inine :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR HOTHEAD HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :)
from my-serenade :
i love your "i'm not with stupid anymore" banner! we both have pink guns on your diaries too :) i'll be dropping in to take a better read when i have more time. keep making funny banners! dland doesnt have many anymore :( ex oh, leticia
from peggeylc92 :
sympathy to you both--i know the agony of j's loss. it hurts less eventually, but the pain is never cured. hugs....
from dragprincess :
and how lucky j is to have a gf who will never run away from anyone's grief and can write love poems that celebrate the strength of sadness.
from femme-inine :
of course, I would read your short stories! Especially if they were autographed. ;)
from wildrosie :
Give J my condolences. I do think it is wonderful that she will be remembered as a very special lady, and she was as lucky to have you two in her life as you were to have her! *Hugs*
from fuschiashock :
*breathes* thank you.
from wildrosie :
I agree. Zeb did that to me once, showed me that he could really rock my world, and take control...and he did it only the one time. It isn't fair, and it isn't right for our boys to leave us hanging wanting them so badly. Hugs darlin', I'm feeling it right with you, and I don't know how to fix it either.
from femme-inine :
okay, gorgeous. This is a big problem. Sex may not be *everything* in a relationship but it's important and if you can't come to a resolution that satisfies the both of you, you are going to have problems eventually. Keep talking about it. You deserve better.
from dragprincess :
You got it. Listen, if *someone* has been abused, you get to listen, coach, love -- but only that someone can help herself. And not at 1 am either.
from prolifique :
*hug* There's someone I'm missing tonight/this morning too. :(
from dragprincess :
Whateves. We rejoiced at work when we heard. We also decided that he's now in Hell - a very special Gay Hell with lots of disco balls, fistfucking, and Rufus Wainwright being played 24/7.
from dragprincess :
i'll be at the theater tonight - call me around 11:30 pm.
from dragprincess :
i said what i meant. i'll get you a plane or train ticket. you help out at Pride with the kids and march.
from dragprincess :
How about a ticket to NYC so you can march with the agency at Pride??
from femme-inine :
And I love you because you have *opinions* and you say what you think and you keep doing what you need to do. :forehead smooch:
from femme-inine :
I have a friend whose husband is trans ... he is a nightmare at times. Always looking to find an anti-male sentiment in something I've written because I'm a lesbian. Jesus. You'd think he's know better, but no. I can't stand it. Thanks for the note earlier, chica.
from orgami :
steel hearts and guitar chords the slow fire of gentle whiskey kisses while the band sets up for another set nicotine stains and lipstick smiles we can all come back for another hundred miles tube amps and bar tramps the mystery train is bearing down and i've been there on that sacred ground the sky is full of trinkets tonight pick one and wish it right whisper me well a husky goodnight (poem by O for Hothead) i paint too and draw male forty three living with Lori native scot bi polar diaryland fan since 2005 always glad to find a banner that leads me to creative people so many heavy hearts ...
from dragprincess :
You get prettier and prettier as each day passes. If the feeling comes over you to paint me a picture, I wouldn't say no. :)
from dragprincess :
That's my fighter! People do come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime - and while it's so sad she's leaving, look at all the amazing gifts she's given you. And this might not be good-bye - just a good-bye for right now.
from pstlyfdiva :
It is understandable to be angry and scared, but don't doubt yourself and the powerful force that is Hothead. Opening up to someone new can be daunting, but you know, sometimes it takes someone new to move to the next level.
from dragprincess :
You get to be angry and upset and railing and frustrated - but you don't get to stop moving and fighting.
from femme-inine :
It's you! Yay, you! :) That Vaniqa takes for-freaking-ever and is $50 a month, which insurance will not pay. Plus, once you stop using it, it says things go back to the way they were. Jeesh. The Electric Zap costs $38 for half an hour and can take 3-4 months to get everything. I wish I could just let it all grow in for 6 weeks (of hiding out!) and then go in one fell swoop, but no such luck there. Gotta go out in public being presentable. More's the pity. How's the house?
from pstlyfdiva :
ahhh ok...well good luck with everything! scary! like i said, if you need anything let us know...we aren't far away.
from pstlyfdiva :
So does that mean that the house will not be condemned?
from prolifique :
I am SO glad you're okay.
from femme-inine :
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Thank God you all are okay. Call me when/if you can.
from pstlyfdiva :
Holy Bejeezus Miss Lee! I am glad you guys are ok, so sorry about the house though. If you need anything give us a call or drop me an email...we are still right around the corner, though in the opposite direction. That is completely nuts! I would have thought it was a tornado too, with the way the wind was that day.
from dragprincess :
OH MY GOD. What can I send from NYC?
from justjano :
I am glad that you guys are alright! Life is so unpredictable sometimes!
from miedema2002 :
Hi, it's been awhile. What's new? I was wondering if you wanted to chat sometime. Don't know if you have msn or not. I could really use someone who understands the whole gender and sexual orientation thing to talk to. Thanks. -Emily
from miedema2002 :
I love the pics! You two look too cute!! I have a diary strictly devoted to gender if you want to read it: http://gender_rev.livejournal.com or check my extras page and it should be there. Hope life is awesome! Bye bye. -Emily
from pstlyfdiva :
thank you ma'am don't worry, i won't be shy showing my sparkly!!
from dragprincess :
Interview questions. this is hard, because i know you so well already! 1) what is your earliest childhood memory? 2) what do you see as your worst character defects and your most positive character attributes? 3) do you fear change or embrace it? 4) what do you want to leave behind in this mortal world as your legacy? 5) who's the cutest jewish girl you know?
from dragprincess :
J is adorable but wait a minute -- when did you get boobs?
from pstlyfdiva :
I love the pic of J in the red tassels. That is PRICELESS.
from grt8f84me :
I clicked on your banner, and like the way you write. As a courtesy, just wanted to let you know that I would like to add you to my buddy list. Take care, and feel free to visit!
from the-moo :
what if we made you QUEEN of the WORLD!!!! *hugs* I love you I think women everywhere should have your name tatood on themselves to remind them what a woman REALLY is *squish* I hope you know how proud I am of you and how much I ADORE YOU xxx
from justjano :
I am so glad it is now the "formerly most scariest thing"--you have done a courageous thing! Be proud!
from femme-inine :
You are most welcome, chica mia. And as for Former Boy? He has NO idea what he's missing.
from fuschiashock :
congrats. you're strong and everything IS going to be okay. you know, i don't think i'd ever be able to do it, i don't think i ever will.
from dragprincess :
if you're writing about the Prior Boy -- feh. honey, you can't fall in love with someone's potential and you can't buy them a clue. and like you found out anyway - you don't NEED a boy. J is a nice extension to the strong woman you are on your own.
from fuschiashock :
i'd be terrified too.
from pstlyfdiva :
good for you for doing this. it is important to do for your health. but beyond that, you are strong enough to do it and come through knowing that you conquered one more thing on your list. and the crackhead is not ruining the trip, c talked to the DA and has been excused from the case :)
from the-moo :
I LOVE YOU!!! I'll be thinking of you praying for you and wishing I could be RIGHT there with you!! You inspire me more than anyone I've ever met (not in real life but still..) so much I want to say but so many people reading over my shoulder!! I LOVE YOU!!! YOU ROCK! xxx
from janetplnetoc :
You march forward with your head held high. Most of these doctors are VERY respectful, especially if you share any of your past and tell them your nervous about the whole thing. They also are required to have a female nurse present (I think even if it's a male or female doctor) and are usually gentle and tell you everything they're going to do before they do it. And imagine how proud you will be of yourself afterwards. Treat yourself to something nice, even if it's just small, but reward your courage. Bravery is a gift that not everyone receive. You were chosen as a recipient, be glad and rejoice in your gift. It was earned through pain but it is yours now forever.
from justjano :
I had the same fear for different reasons. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing, and you know what? That is how you get power, by challenging yourself. You are so on the right track--hope all goes well and enjoy your sundae--you deserve it!!!
from dragprincess :
good girl. i'd never tell you to don't have the right to feel your feelings - and fear is one HELL of a feeling - but you're taking care of yourself like you need to. when you go, say that you're afraid. have a nurse there with you and hold her hand. and remember - you are only powerless in this if you let yourself be.
from pstlyfdiva :
That is fabulous hon. Glad you are asking for help when you need it, I know how hard it is to do and you did it! You know we are only a couple of blocks away if you need anything. *hugs*
from dragprincess :
HOW PROUD AM I OF YOU???? You got humble before God and everyone and asked for help. That's surrendering, baby. That's the first big step. NOBODY GETS TO SHAME YOU. You are a star.
from femme-inine :
God. Thank you for telling us that. You're going to be okay, chica. If I weren't getting divorced myself, I'd send you some money like a good Fairy GodMother should. Continue to take care of you, querida. You'll get there.
from nimiiwin :
hey! whatever happened to "signmyguestbook.com"? you used to have one, right?
from heidiann :
Hey lovely lady! I want you to email me with your birthday and your address so I can send you some postal love! livin.the.thug.life @ gmail .com
from femme-inine :
The big problem with cat urine on hardwood is that it soaks right in. You could try to use a sander and sand it. Before you try that, though, check with the pet store. They may have something. Urgh.
from taken-by-you :
Have you tried straight pinesol? No dilution? Or Simple Green? Or you could try getting scented oils (like for candles or whatever) and just douse it (hoping for the best, but remembering that is probably a huge fire hazzard). Or, just get some strong air fresheners and leave them there AT ALL TIMES. OH - and, you may need to get a sander and just sand it out. As much as possible. Hope it helps!
from dragprincess :
That's my girl! Doing what you love best....so proud of you, as always.
from the-moo :
I love you xxx
from andreakj :
Hey, remember me? I'm still alive! So, if it makes any difference, I still think you're awesome. :) Keep in touch. Andrea
from dragprincess :
happy thanksgiving, ms. honey. in fact, i think it would behoove you to write me up a little gratitude list of all the GOOD things in hothead's life. let's try and keep the focus here, buddy.
from dragprincess :
call me, halfpint. and check my entry for signs that i know your strength and you have my love.
from janetplnetoc :
You can always call me, I'll email you my number. And you can wake me in the middle of the night, especially if you talk in that cute southern accent I know you have.
from mollydog :
You are not as old and worn out as you feel. In fact you are only as old and worn out as you feel. It's hard to maintain that mysterous love flame in the midst of crisis but it is still there. Hugs and toddler kisses!
from pstlyfdiva :
hey chickapea, saw you circling the grocery parking lot yesterday...while we did the same. just thought i would stop by and say hi. hope things are smoothing out for you.
from the-moo :
I never get a chance to comment here but i'm reading and SPEAKING to you while I read usually... I know you can't physically hear my words but I hope you are FEELING everything in them *hugs* I love you xxx
from justjano :
I say keep going in whatever form that is....if it is leaving and finding other work, then that is what it is.... I say forgive yourself for not being at the top of your game, but don't stop trying.....I say IGNORE the religious zealots and live your truth and let them live theirs--no matter how hypocritical it may be....Read more Ekhard Toll--the good Canadian that he is.....
from janetplnetoc :
I have been reading, just not commenting cuz I'm a tard. Truthfully, working keeps me sane because I know that I have to get up and put the sane face on for a few hours a day rather than just hide in my bed and get worse. But only you know if it's adding more stress to your life or helping you. I think an upfront talk with the boss is good. As long as you know you can trust her. And it seems like she's listened to you in the past.
from fergie :
RE: proving everybody wrong -- In my humble opinion, there is nothing you can do that will change your work situation. I have been in work environments where no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough ... yet people who slacked off were rewarded for doing a third of the work I accomplished. You must either move on or accept the situation for what it is. Some things will never go your way no matter how hard you try. That's me trying to be realistic, not negative. Focus your energy towards things you can actually change.
from sixxgunn :
you are so interesting to read... thank you.
from junius :
Drawn in by the banner about the rifle, liking the pink pistol but sad at the lack of firearms entries in the midst of emotional entries. I'll have to keep looking to see if this is the female equivilent of my own diary (depression, emotional this-and-that with sporadic gunfire here and there).
from journalman :
Really glad I clicked that banner. Good to meet you!
from mollydog :
Wow. I am proud of you too. You are working hard.
from dragprincess :
oh my brave little halfpint -- i am so proud of you!
from dragprincess :
Girl, I am planning on seducing Mariska when I meet her. Love the pic. Love Mariska. Love you.
from the-moo :
I love you!! xxx
from justjano :
Easy has to be one of the best songs ever penned! Enjoy it. Good luck on your journey, you are right--one foot in front of the other.
from kellbelle :
People understand or they don't... no sense TRYING to make them. When you connect with the people who "get it" (or "git it" as we say here in Texas), it makes the struggle a little easier... not a lot, but enough to help some. Hang in there. It's hard work.
from the-moo :
Oh I KNOW this feeling (though not so much recently) I have been in the place you're in SO MANY TIMES and it's hard to make people understand... we should MSN about this!! *hugs* xxx
from dragprincess :
and i danced tonight to "hung up," "sorry," and my very favorite, "get together" at my local neighborhood go nyc magazine massive 1500 person lesbian party. i lived it up well, msthing. thank you. love you.
from janetplnetoc :
for reasons I cannot explain (having only medical training from teh school of janet at www.universityofjanetandtotallyuselessforpracticingmedicine), there are actually a great number of medications that warn you not to have grapefruit juice. I have no clue why... I just do what it says, figure it safer that way.
from dragprincess :
Girl, you are just growing and growing and are a little southern miracle.
from janetplnetoc :
John Mayer rocks the hizzouse (in that quiet rock kind of way). I was listening to his new CD yesterday and I lovelovelove #11, it might be called In Repair. As soon as I started reading I was thinking of that song.
from femme-inine :
Well, aspirin is salycilic acid (which I've obviously forgotten how to spell) so I just might work. But now with all that other crap mixed in there!
from herdarlinsin :
yea, see.. and I want comment by my name on your buddy list too, sucka lol
from herdarlinsin :
I really think your guestbook must hate me. While I cant ever get a word in, everyone and their grandmother can leave you comments on it. Its not fair. And I had a really funny comment I had on there (that wouldnt go through) and now since I have forgotten all of the funny parts of it. Bastard.
from inside---out :
if/when i must wear women's clothing, i prefer the interpretive dancer look. that outfit makes me think of golf or cricket or some other pointless game i've never played. yes.
from onebluegreen :
I am sorry there are more tests. I will be thinking about the both of you.
from magpiefaerie :
Yeah .. it's been a rough and rocky year. Lots of ups, lots of downs. But you'd know all about that, darlin'. I hope today finds you well. In fact, I hope that every day finds you well.
from onebluegreen :
Thanks for adding me; I added you too. I make an effort to keep my diary private (that is reason for numbers in names and a few other nouns) but I was excited to find someone else from here. I am also nosy so I appreciate someone looking through my photos. You should get a flickr page. It is hard to describe how addicting it is. I've added the bulk of those photographs since July this year. I sometimes feel silly taking photos everywhere but I try to pretend I am on vacation because no one thinks it is weird then. I did make the tee with letters from Michael's. That was my first but I think there will be more b/c I am hooked. I like your design too. I am sorry you are having a rough time -- I hope it gets better soon.
from inside---out :
congratulations and good luck with the interview!
from the-moo :
WELL DONE YOU!!!! xxx
from rainbow127 :
hey C. i noticed you updated about an hour ago. if you're still on, i can't go on aim, but I can go on the d land chat. all my love, a
from herdarlinsin :
Is that so now? You don't say... You prefer butch like girls over femmes??
from herdarlinsin :
I haven't gotten laid either.. so there. We're even. I bet some where though someone is masterbating and thinking about us.
from inside---out :
i downloaded aim and added you.
from femme-inine :
:beams: I am *so* PROUD of you darlin'!
from herdarlinsin :
I dont know you, but Im so proud of you right now I wish I did know you. Go foward and move ahead, watch for the speed bumps along teh way, stop to smell the roses, but never forget who you are. True friends are always waiting. Maybe someday when you feel that you're all better and redy to step off of that blinding crutch, you'll see youre real potential. Its progress, yes. Ad I couldnt be more proud of even being a notes person with you.
from rainbow127 :
OMG cheryl!!! please get on AIM! my screen name is lithsomevampires PLZ!!! love, amanda
from herdarlinsin :
user-locked pass - out (pretty simple)
from herdarlinsin :
not funny smart ass :P Try harder - more like leave me love more often and not refer to old love. Old love is good, but new love is fucking awesome!
from herdarlinsin :
Only if you're lesbian. (ha) Just kidding. You're fabulous dahling.
from herdarlinsin :
and you still didn't add me, snarf. lol but that's okay, you make up for it by being a fan of Paula Cole.
from inside---out :
me too :D
from inside---out :
the e is for evan, the name i found for myself. it's great to be able to think of myself with a name that feels right (evan andrew), even if i'm not using it. yet.
from emphatic-tns :
Goodness! What brought that on? Who said you're a "crap friend"? You do have a lot going on and I know from experience how intense it is. Take care of you, chica. That's all I want.
from kellbelle :
I sent you a yahoo request and message with the username/password :)
from inside---out :
it most definitely does, and thank you!
from inside---out :
thank you so much. for acknowledging that i exist, and for saying kind thins, and for your offer to chat. i don't have aim but i do have msn and i just might email you when i'm more awake.
from the-moo :
thank you for filling out my survey lovely one!!! Of course I adored your answers and I am overwhelmed too much to find words so I'll just give you a hug instead *huuuuug* xxx
from mypocket :
happy valentines day <3
from x-plicity :
Happy V-day! *heart* X
from pstlyfdiva :
i loved the britney thing myself, tried to explain it to c, but she has to see for herself. i'm sorry for all the personal demons you are facing right now, but know that you can do it. getting past the devils of the past can be difficult, but when you do, you find a freedom you never knew you had...
from mypocket :
hey there, i'm very sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time, and i'm glad that you've got such a strong support system.. and if anyone deserves to be treated like a queen, it's you. love.
from oh-organic :
im so sorry about yr crappy week. some things cant be put into words, yknow? but i really really am sorry. and if you want, i could bust some kneecaps for you. hahaha... esp the jerk who outed yr bf... what an ass.
from pstlyfdiva :
funny thing is, i found your diary through another random diary a while ago...before i knew it was you!! shhhh ;)
from mypocket :
hey there. i was just wondering if i could email you about a problem i've been having, i think you'd have the best insight. love.
from x-plicity :
Miss you, hon. *hugs* X
from mypocket :
hey its alex (enigma104, broc-coli), i'm finally back at d-land, so if you're interested, my site is mypocket.diaryland.com
from iamafatgirl :
I dreamed that you came to visit me. Really unexpected and random. Maybe it's because we haven't had a sweet hothead update in awhile. I miss you.
from nimiiwin :
You should definitely check our Rachel Ray Every Day. It's awesome. I'm making one of her recipes for Christmas dinner - Beef Wellington. Yum-o! :grin:
from rainbow127 :
wow! i just got to read your entry from thanksgiving. he had no right to do that to you. *hugs you* so do deserve WAY better than how he treated you. i luv you and hope your ok.
from fuschiashock :
so i saw a hothead cartoon tonight. this is exciting.
from rainbow127 :
Darlin you have ALL of my prayers right now... I wish I could do something, ANYTHING, to help you. I would save you big sis, just tell me what you need from me. You always tell me that I am so strong... well I'm giving what all strength I have right now to you C... You don't know how much I love you and how special you are to me. It breaks my heart that so much bad shit has been happening to you. You so don't deserve any of it. You've been through enough as it is... I love you C. Not matter what. Remember that, and I hope that it helps you through. *hugs u and kisses your cheek*
from the-moo :
I read all of those entries and I want you to know my thoughts on it are that I love you and I am happy and my GOD you've got something/one good there my love!! that letter was beautiful and his soul is so much like yours!! *hugs* I'm so happy that this is starting to clear I'm still here to help in anyway I can... watch the post missy!! LOVE YOU xxx
from x-plicity :
e-mail me what you would like your father to know and I'll put something together for you, if you want me to. eurydice10@msn.com I'd do more but I'm way up in WI. *hugs* X
from smedindy :
Hey, I don't know if you saw my Toledo travelough entry (posted Sunday) but I saw a billboard for this website: http://www.iamahothead.com/index.asp It's lame, really. But I thought of YOU when I saw iamahothead.com
from pink-circle :
I've noticed your interest in poetry. (and art?) and I'm sending you this *circle invite* because I think you would be a great member for this group. To join, visit here: http://pink-circle.diaryland.com/abjoin.html ---- for more information, visit here: http://pink-circle.diaryland.com/about.html ----- thanks for your time. ~Pink
from the-moo :
I'm so so happy that things are moving in a good direction *hugs* xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from x-plicity :
You broke my heart. I gave it to J, yes. But I handed it over in pieces. I find so much truth in those words. Its hard to give a broken heart to someone else. And Reba says it so eloquently.
from the-moo :
:O gosh that was weird when you wrote the self harm entry thing I had had sung that song all day seriously.. I sang it out loud on my lunch hour.. as I walked I just.. I felt had to.. I didn't know why I was even singing it.. maybe it was your heart using my voice "all of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place" I can't imagine how you felt but just know that even before I read the entry your pain had reached me all the way across the ocean! it broke my heart to read that and the entry that followed about THEEX.. I know exactly how you feel!! You mustnt feel bad about it because I tihnk pretty much everyone has felt that way. Love is indistructable thats the problem.. once you've loved someone it can never truly end.. only change.. and sometimes the lines get blurred and you reconnect even if only for a moment with the person who was your universe for so long! *hugs* I wish I could be there to help you! love you indescribably! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from fuschiashock :
*hugs*
from the-moo :
My goodness will the world just flipping let up on you for one moment??? SERIOUSLY what is this? I'm gonna have to come over there and kick their asses!! *hugs* I love you and I'm here always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from x-plicity :
Lots of sympathetic *hugs*
from the-moo :
Oh honey honey honey I HATE that I have absolutely no way of being there when you're down! I wish I could fly over wrap you in something pretty and bring you back here to be hand reared to health like one of our kittens! (that's not meant to sounds as patronising as it does) I love you and I would sit with you all night just for you to scream at me or punch me or even just cry if that was what you needed... just so you know.. I can't be there but I WISH I could and if I was.. I'd do anything in my power to make this ok!! You are strong and you are brave and you WILL get through this!! I love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from dragprincess :
and i am so proud of YOU, for your strength and self-discovery. and i'm grateful for you being part of my recovery. you were there at the end...and i love that you're here at my new beginning.
from the-moo :
hey gorgeous... not sure what our time difference is but I'm off to TRY to get online now.. though because I'm at work I'll have to use the web based version which tends to run really REALLY slow so don't think me a retard if it takes me an hour to type hi! hehe if that doesn't work I shall attempt to get on when I get home which will be at about 6 :-) how exciting hope to catch you!! if not tonight then most nights after 6 I'm there at least for a while!! xxx
from the-moo :
NEwcastle is the nearest airport (which is like no distance at all from us) but they don't have flights from america so you'd probably have to change in london and such in which case it might be good for us to come to london and spend a day or so there.. I mean if you're coming you gotta see london! plus ali will be living there by then and andrwes already there so I could combine lots of visits since you clearly HAVE to meet my nearest and dearest - I want to show the two of you off my special americans!! hehe! yeah we could take you to scotland too.. because I LOVE scotland and... yay we'll have a world tour.. all you have to worry about though is getting here... heathrow is the biggest airport (and nearest to london) AAAH! oh my god do you even realise how great it would be if you could come?? no matter how long it takes to arrange it... AAAH! lovelovelovelovelove
from the-moo :
*hugs* oh my goodness I'm like a huge gooey ball of excitment and love (wrapped a thin veil of sadness and more love) I love you and anything I can ever do to make your life just that teeny bit sunnier.. you ask me woman.. because no amount of love is too much for you!! *hugs* try to sleep though my love.. I know sleeps a crafty bugger it often abandons me too but I am thinking you sleepy thoughts and wishing you peace and rest and happiness!! ooh also the thing about the broken heart.. thats my favourite quote and sad as it may sound.. it changed my life!! love you xxxxxxxxxx
from cracked-rose :
Hey I crossed by your diary cause of the banner. I really like your layout AND your entry. Was wondering if I could add you as a favorite so I could read more of your diary?
from namastesakhi :
dear girl, you are in for a wonderful ride :) if you can't bring yourself to talk dirty, then maybe you're brave enough to just show him. it makes exploring LOTS of fun when you've got your fingers inside yourself and he's got his fingers inside yourself. as for names, i call my vagina 'she' as in, "she's really wet", or, "she wants to play". my breasts are "bosoms", and that's about it. i'm so excited you've joined the so few of us :)
from x-plicity :
I call my "hoo-hoo" the ladies. Not to get confused with my boobs which I call the girls. LOL
from smedindy :
Aw, you're making me blush! You know, when I see your screen name, the Captain Beefheart song pops into my brain. Obscure and trivial, yes, but that's me in a nutshell. Love your stuff! And any friend of The Moo is a friend of mine!
from dragprincess :
there's always a room for you (your very own room! i have so much space!) at the Casa de Lesbo, version 2.0.
from dragprincess :
oh i don't know. i think everyone understands shiks-appeal, don't you?
from dragprincess :
I'm telling you...when I found out that s/he was a woman, I thought, "Did Hothead set me up? Is this her doing?" And the thing is...I'm not sure I'd say no to a date. Why not?
from nimiiwin :
Hey! I'm a gold member! DO you know how it works? Or, I could go try to figure it out myself. :)
from the-moo :
:O Ive so never seen that pic did I miss an entry?? how did I miss one with a photo.. you so rarely post them and I'm always so happy when you do!!! *loveS* I'm glad thigns are looking up.. sometimes it just needs to explode to get things on track!!! xxxxxxxx
from planetqueen :
good luck - i hope things go well
from iamafatgirl :
Honey, thank you so much for your comments...I appreciate them...I just hurt so bad...and I just want to die too...although I know I can't...thank you again for everything...get on aim sometime and we'll chat it up! <3 xoxo
from m0nique :
http://varsity.co.nz/funnies/articles.asp?id=4768 thought you might find this a laugh.
from the-moo :
I love you so god damn much I could explode!!! yes it is a purple kitchen and everything I learned about true beauty.. I learned from you, come fly over here and live with me... we'll open our own book shop and you can write all of the books!! haha! MUAH x YOU ARE FABULOUS!!! FAB FAB FAB!!! xxxxxxxxxx
from xbeeyatchx :
I LOVE YOUR LAYOUT.. ITS SOOOO MUCH LIKE ME. LOL
from fuschiashock :
i would quit too, in that situation. i work about forty hours a week right now.
from magpiefaerie :
You gave your notice? I'm not really sure I blame you, but I will miss you! I hope that this leads to bigger and better things. Dream large, darlin'.
from the-moo :
I have added that entry.. I think I'd add all of your if I could :-D I love you!! and I love that you've finally fuond what it is to be TRULY loved!! you deserve it! *hugs* I can't wait to one day meet you both.. and your cats!! hehe xxxxxxxxxxx
from the-moo :
Oi don't doubt it for a second it's destiny get your fine ass over here.. I'll let you wear my shoes haha that sounded marvelously kinky eh? hahah! I love you!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from the-moo :
oh honey honey honey I HATE that life gives you so much shit!! it's like no matter how many times you truly kick its ass.. it crawls it sorry self back for more!! GRR! I love you and I wish so much that I was near enough to help you when you're down! (though your friends there do a stellar job and Im so pleased you have them) the entry about your sis... I LOVED!! loved loved loved!! she's just like you and its beautiful! You're amazing this will get easier I promise! *hugs* I love you (as does my hot husband) hehe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from planetqueen :
oh god I clicked on your banner and I love you. Your diary is brill. you are fucking awesome, I have to add you to my favourites!
from iamafatgirl :
In case no one has told you today, I love you! :) Thanks for the comment. The bastard called and apologized tonight. See? It's the dominate side coming out in me. This could be interesting...
from m0nique :
Hello from New Zealand !. Random banner click landed me hear. Interesting stuff. drop by some time.
from for-you-only :
I wish I could say I fight like a girl, but I've never actually been in a fight, lol.
from worldinabox :
I like that picture you have in the background of your diary. The "I Fight Like a Girl One." Did you make the picture or did you find it somewhere?
from xraygurl :
Hey! I found your diary by accident but I totally love your entries! I added you as one of my faves. From one southern belle to another...
from my-solitaire :
I love your banner, your username, and everything girl-impowered that you stand for. I think it's awesome and I felt like I should let you know.
from valkyrie1223 :
I totally <3 your "not with stupid anymore" banner... and I just realised i copied the note before me. Well I didn't mean to? lol
from wifemotherme :
(do over! hit enter by mistake) what I meant to say was LOVED the "not with with stupid" banner.
from wifemotherme :
LOVED
from dragprincess :
you're welcome. i mean that. i have more to say -- but not in your public notes. look for an email from me some point soon (are you still the same email address?). don't worry about finding the secret diary. it's not so secret -- just guarding my heart carefully. it's easily bruised.
from the-moo :
Hey beautiful!! thank you fo the warning and for the love also.. I love you and I love your notes! you're my inspiration.. people can go screw themselves.. I am fabulous and anyone who thinks otherwise can go suck something bad! HA! xxx
from the-moo :
Hey beautiful!! thank you fo the warning and for the love also.. I love you and I love your notes! you're my inspiration.. people can go screw themselves.. I am fabulous and anyone who thinks otherwise can go suck something bad! HA! xxx
from banefulvenus :
Really love you banner... "not with stupid anymore"
from kwesta :
Intersting most of the people that become gold members and have ADs are females... Keep up the good work, Brian T.
from nikki--nikki :
I AM Canadian. Now, I'm not sure if all Canadians are supposed to be funny. I hope not. So much pressure, you know? Like, I'd have to start furiously writing jokes on my palm, just waiting for the perfect moment to laugh the faces off those around me. I just read your list of 100ish things about you, and some more of your journal entries. Hello. Are you my favorite person ever?
from rainbow127 :
finally able to get on one of these contraptions! sending my love because I can ♥
from the-moo :
YE YES YES!! well done glad it went the way you wanted now its his turn!! *hug* well done! so pleased for you xxx
from mollydog :
Not sure if your comments work...it said two but wouldn't connect for me. Em and I are doing well...not at all dead. :) I had a dream of my inlaws dying and I think it was a subconscious desire that they would go away and leave me alone. They came to visit for the weekend and I need to learn the word "no" because I just can't seem to say it to them. Love hugs and baby kisses! :-)
from fuschiashock :
i just saw your banner ad.
from the-moo :
off off OFF oh my goodness the beard! we want it off!! hahahahahaha... don't you think? ;-) love you love your comments and your diary and everything that is in any way connected to you xxx
from the-moo :
hey hey hey.. It will all be fine because YOU are fabulous!! I love you I am praying for you and willing you all of the happiness in the world!! If I could trim off some of mine and post it to you.. I really would!! (in a really pretty box hehe) xxx
from blueavenue :
great banner! i like your layout, too. i'll stop back by to read some more later...take care!
from waspman :
Hey hothead. Good to hear you're feeling so... strong. I kinda fear for anyone who gets in your way! Stay strong, stay cool.
from the-moo :
YEAY!!! YOU MAKE THAT WAR CRY GIRL!! I'm far away physically but I am irght there with you in the parties drinking the drink singing the songs and celebrating the wonder that we ARE!!! HA! yes! love you xxxxxxxxxx
from rockitallout :
Hey i love ur template/background thingy..lol who is it of? u? pretty cool if it is! well im TiFFaNY from Melb in Aust..u?
from magpiefaerie :
Yay!! A much needed positive thing for you! Congrats!! And, btw, I'd be scared shitless too.
from iliveforthis :
I clicked on your banner and read a couple of your blog entries, your a great writter and very well spoken. I'm really sorry for the loss of your grandfather.Best wishes for you and your family.
from hothotheart :
I too clicked your banner. I too am hooked. May I add you? -hothotheart
from wildrosie :
Clicked your banner, and now I'm hooked. Many hugs and much love, and somehow, I think everything will work out in the end. Gods above, I hope so, 'cause that's what I'm banking on too!
from f-i-n :
amazing!
from salazabr :
Amazing is an understatement...you rock my socks off. *big hugs*
from the-moo :
I wish that I was your neighbour too... I've become one of those people that just stuffs guests full of food and tea and mmm delightful things!! aaaw come over and I'll feed you and you're boy then we'll sit in my tiny yard and drink cups of tea!!! *hug* I love you it's make my page happy to have you visit it!! xxx ooh and also... you should totally post more pics ;-) xxx
from iamafatgirl :
I am so impressed that you are so strong Cheryl. With every single sentence you write, your strength seems to prevail and even seems to get stronger. You are one of the most amazing people I know. Now, that you have your own house, I imagine that you are going to have lots of parties!!! Or not. Life is fixing to totally rock for you, and it's about damn time. I can't wait to see what the future holds for you my friend. I just can't wait! I love you! -Tia
from justjano :
OK that is one seriously cute baby! So glad you are feeling strong, and in true fashion take the best out of all of this! YOU ROCK HOTHEAD!
from no-map :
I LOVE and I could not possibly admire you more if I tried!! *hug* I have no words but know thatI am praying for you and that theres another man very uch like afather watching out for you now too... I made a special request on your behalf! I love you Im so sad for you xxxxxxxx
from seekingme :
I am very sorry for your loss. I had not checked in with you in a while and was shocked to see that he had passed. You have my deepest condolences
from magpiefaerie :
Oh darlin', I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you. *hug*
from hardcorefan- :
Aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry about your grandfather. I know what it's like to lose a grandfather. I'm here for you if you need me. I'll email the new cell number. Call anytime! I love you, Tia (iamafatgirl)
from waspman :
I am so sorry. I know you dont know me, but I feel for you. I know it isn't easy, but it does get better over time. I promise.
from xbeeyatchx :
IM SORRY ABOUT YOUR GRANDFATHER. I KNOW THAT IT DOESNT HELP ANY BUT I AM SORRY.
from justjano :
Please accept my sincere condolences.
from no-map :
I can't get your comments to work!!! I'm so sorry sweetheart! I am praying for you and crynig and wishing to GOD there was someway I could be closer right now! *hug* not that I'd know what to say or do but I just... oney if I can do anything.. come and find me! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from fluttrbykiss :
I am so very sorry to hear that he is gone... Huuugggsss
from mollydog :
We are here for you. Whatever you need just let us know!
from justjano :
i wish you love, faith, and the knowledge that even if he leaves this world, he will never leave your heart, or you his. I have been in your position, and I know it is hard. Be strong, but be yourself!
from hothead :
full force and gutsy = what i think of when i think about you. love.
from rainbow127 :
ok lady, I shall be posting something full force and gutsy because I need to. and I need people to read it. that little music thingy is from musicvideocodes.com but shhhhhhhhhh it's a secret ;) Things have been so...depressing lately. i mean, what do you do when you are losing the one you love? at least that's what all this feels like. i mean, there are things that just...belong to a couple, and when they are used on another... it feels less special. but maybe i am being a little bit of a baby. you decide when you read my entry. and you know what ? i don't know what i did to my older entries page. i'm gonna try and fix it though so no worries :) I ♥ you!!!!
from banefulvenus :
LOVED your rifle banner!!
from magpiefaerie :
Oh, darlin'. There are no words. I'm so sorry you're hurting. And no; you are not alone. *hug*
from magpiefaerie :
Hey sweet girl. We were talking about you at work yesterday .. we miss you. If I can do anything for you, don't hesitate to ask okay?
from rainbow127 :
he he he you're very welcome *hugs*
from rainbow127 :
You know what... you are so way better than them. And you know what else........... <font size="6">HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG SIS!!!!!!!</font>
from rainbow127 :
ooooohhhh...that didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. it was supposed to say "Much love" with a heart. *shrugs*
from rainbow127 :
I hope with all my heart that things go ok with your grandpa. 888888__________888888_ 8888888________8888888_ 88888888______88888888_ 8888_8888____8888_8888_ 8888__8888__8888__8888_ 8888___88888888___8888_ 8888____888888____8888_ 8888_____8888_____8888_ 8888______88______8888_ 8888______________8888_ 8888______________8888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 88888____________88888_ 888888__________888888_ _888888________888888__ __888888888888888888___ ____88888888888888_____ ____88888888888888_____ __88888888888888888____ _888888________88888___ _88888_________________ _88888_________________ _88888_________________ _88888_________________ _88888_________________ _888888________88888___ __88888888888888888____ ____88888888888888_____ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ 8888888888888888888888_ 8888888888888888888888_ 8888888888888888888888_ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ 888888__________888888_ ______8888888888____________________ ____888888888888888_________________ __888888822222228888________________ _88888822222222288888_______________ 888888222222222228888822228888______ 888882222222222222288222222222888___ 8888822222222222222222222222222288__ _8888822222222222222222222222222_88_ __88888222222222222222222222222__888 ___888822222222222222222222222___888 ____8888222222222222222222222____888 _____8888222222222222222222_____888_ ______8882222222222222222_____8888__ _______888822222222222______888888__ ________8888882222______88888888____ _________888888_____888888888_______ __________88888888888888____________ ___________888888888________________ Needless to say, I love you.
from goldieknox03 :
im new to your diary, but madly in love. Why havent i read you before?
from poco-a-poco :
i am experiencing a weird deja vu...i know i've read you before, by why hadn't i added you? -shakes head- welcome to this world, sweetie. feel free to add me to your AIM list: PimpDaddyFemme.
from rainbow127 :
...wow....... ~blinks~ I don't think I have ever read so very exactly how I feel before..... that entry just takes the cake hunny. all that I can say is that I love you, that I feel you, and that whatever happens happens and all we can do is hope for the best. All my love you you and your boy, Amanda
from iamafatgirl :
Okay, we soooo have to talk. You must get on messenger sometime, or I will become your residential stalker...I might come and steal you away from the boy...well, I don't know about all of that, but, I still want to talk to you!
from broc-coli :
hey, its alex, i couldn't remember if i ever gave you the link to my new journal, so here it is- htpp://broc-coli.diaryland.com
from magpiefaerie :
Thank you for supporting me in my Mormon-caused crisis. I found a couple of phone numbers in the front of it - two different 'Elders'. I almost called after I left work tonight.
from rainbow127 :
~hugs you tight~ I don't know how to ay that I know exactly what you mean, what you feel, when you talk about : <i>"his distance is my fault. him being moody means he doesn't love me. if there is even a slight variation in his mood, it means that he's annoyed with me (and not just with my behavior, but with who I am as a person). i'm too clingy. i need too much. how dare i ask for what i need. what was i thinking? he can't deal with me. i'm crazy. he's so gonna leave me. he's gonna disappoint me." </i> ...yeah, I know these all too well. What I don't know is how to be a good friend and tell you what to do. All I can do is tell you that I love you, that I am here for you, that you should give me a call sometime (or better yet, come visit and we can go out for coffee and chocolate!!!!) You should e-mail me your address so that I can send you real letters. I dunno about you, but actual letters in the mail always mae me feel even better than e-mail (could have something to do with seeing the other person's handwriting. it's a comfort thing). know that your little sister loves you and has faith in you. ♥ Amanda
from magpiefaerie :
Gracias for the email - will send you your goodies soon. Provided I can remember from one minute to the next. As for Saturday, I haven't decided yet. I close that night, so I'd get a later start than everyone else. We shall see.
from magpiefaerie :
Awwwww ... *wipes away tear* We love ya, babe! *bursts into happy sobs* Seriously, though. You should talk to the boss-lady. She thinks you're the shit. Truly. She's told me so. (Although, not in so many words, of course).
from foxinsnow :
Your last entry is so beautiful. I don't think you're a fool for taking a chance on love. Anyway, don't all those other people know that EVERYTHING in life is tenuous and fleeting? And, as the Buddhists say, the only way to enlightenment is to open and open your heart, continually exposing that soft tender spot that lets you get hurt.
from heidiann :
god DAMN girl, i LOVED this entry!
from rainbow127 :
you sound awesome chicka : ). I ♥ U lol
from rainbow127 :
ewwwwwww... the dreaded side effects. the most annoying one with me is when I take Vicotine... my nose itches like crazy and I end up looking like a coke head (not to mention that my mother abuses those times, because I get very honest, to ask me very personal questions. I end up telling her things I regret. grrrrrrrrr...) I ♥ you sis. Take care and I hope things start getting better for you.
from rainbow127 :
~blinks~ I just read your entry. wow.... you sound wonderful though Big Sis. ~hugs~ <3 U, Amanda
from auj :
Hothead. Me too. Irish-Mexican. Wierd combination. Yeah, I'm Irish-Mexican too. Somehow that's good enough reason to read your diary. And to keep reading it...
from euphoria21 :
Just wondering about the tattoo on your arm...can't tell what it is. Do tell...
from no-map :
I love you *hugs* you always say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time!! I'm lucky to have found you and your diary! *blows kisses* xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from magpiefaerie :
You know .. I *wanted* to say goose. Thank you for your lovely comments. Now, if I can just figure out how to make my diary all fancy and shiny like all of my *other* favorites .. It's a sloooow learning curve.
from magpiefaerie :
Told you I'd look you up, girl! And if I wasn't so damned tired and irritated I would soak up even more than the four .. okay, five .. all right, about a half dozen entries that I read. Nice stuff! I think I could become addicted. (As if I need any more, right?) -G
from enigma104 :
hey there, i'm so sorry about you and your love work thigns out. i know exactly how you feel, and it's not so great, but, my friend told me this today, as long as there is a want for things to be better, they will get better somehow. so i hope things look up for ya soon. much love
from euphoria21 :
I wish I had a big enough band-aid to help fix what ails ya'...my sister dedicated that same song to me on my 19th birthday, when my mom kicked me out of the house for being gay. As I packed my things my sister was sitting on my bed just looking at me pack and crying. Tomorrow I turn 25, and I hope I never have to go through an experience like that ever again. Keep your head up. On a happier note: You and your cowboy ever been to New York? I hope you girls have a wonderful time. P.S. Can you buy one of those .99 cent bags of peanuts they sell on the street, and enjoy the hell out of them? Man they are good!!!
from firelord177 :
if u are nakedsend me pic @ rhysharvey64@hotmail.com
from cutie1083 :
*hug* I hope you feel better...your entry reminded me a little of...me.
from salazabr :
Not only are you one my favorite diaries and a must read but you have incredible tast in music. Ever heard of The Matthew Good Band? If you haven't you should check them out.
from fuschiashock :
that bush hand sigh is bizarre. &i always thought it was supposed to be the horns of dionysus.
from salazabr :
I totally agree about Bush and can't wait to get out of TX, hopefully for good! It's funny you quote Lee Greenwood, I just heard that song and it occurred to me that the last time "men died to give that right to me" was WWII...interesting huh?
from euphoria21 :
I don't know if that's a great song or you writing in a journal, or at a stoop in some deserted town's gas station, but man it's heavy. I hate hearing that you're going thru something so big and we barely have had the time to....well, it just sucks tht I can't do anything about it.
from euphoria21 :
Hey head, your last entry seems darker than the last. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. My heart goes out to you. Take care.
from fuschiashock :
i actually found it funny. that was all.
from fuschiashock :
i didn't find it creepy. if i'm still a child, i guess i'm in that category.
from euphoria21 :
;:^{}, how am I supposed to invent a tongue sticking out of it's mouth? God, I hate these little creatures. Hope you have a better day today.
from euphoria21 :
Hey you, I just added your latest entry to my faves...I still hate the fact that I can't cut and paste my favorite parts to show them to you. For that you get these *raspberries* (hopefully you got that) and if not then I guess I'm just fucked. I know exactly how you feel. I guess you haven't read up on my diary. You should, whenever you get the chance.
from rainbow127 :
awwwww..crud!!!! I meant 8:30 AM geezzzzz!!!!! And thanks C. luv you too.
from rainbow127 :
Hi C. ummmmm..... I really need to talk to you..... ummm.... do you think it would be possible for you to be on AIM like tomorrow around 8 AM? I don't know if my time coincides with yours, but I REALLY need to talk to you. My AIM name is taylorsmanda. Thanks you. <3
from foxinsnow :
You're situation with this friend who should have been expelled by you long ago reminds me of an experience I had right around the time I started up on diaryland. I'll post an entry about it later today and dedicate the entry to you.
from no-map :
may seem a tad odd since technically I only know you as words on a screen.. but I MISS YOU!!! <3 <3 <3 I miss your words on my screen.. im not complaining just want you to know that you're loved.. very loved indeed! xxx
from euphoria21 :
Hey hon, you know what sucks about your entries (don't freak out)every time I read it and I find a really good line/sentence/paragraph that I wan't to cut & paste to your "notes" section and let you know how incredibly awsome it is - I can't. And it's not easy remembering everything word for word. I like cutting and pasting. Pleeeeeeaaaaase can you fix that? If you don't then I'll have to start reading your entries in one window and I'll have to use another window just for the notes, and if that's not annoying enough just LOOK at the length of this note of mine. That shows I care. Doesn't it? Anyways, take care my friend and have a great day at work!
from no-map :
aaaw honey I LOVE YOU.. *hugs* I fell asleep on the couch and Gareth was late for work because I usually wake him :-( good job he loves me <3 Hope you're doing ok.. I miss reading you and still havn't had a chance to chat with you! Thinking of you ALWAYS!! xxx
from rainbow127 :
Thank you so much for being such an awesome and amazing person, for being there to listen to me when I need a friend the most. For being the big sister that I've wanted and needed my whole life. Thank you for thinking about me and for all of your support. Love you, A.
from heidiann :
Not "like", baby, more like "worship with an all consuming passion." xoxoxoxoxox
from no-map :
*blushes* you think that's hot you should see the tight black trousers, red braces and... YES THAT'S RIGHT... shirt and tie I wear with it! was just hosting those pics up for a friend making the template for my new diary not-long-now I'm only mandy Price for 75 more days!! aaaah!! love you!! love your lovely hat related compliments ;-) xxx
from no-map :
also.. I agree with you entirely.. you are "fine" hehe ;-) xxx
from no-map :
aaaw loving you is just so easy my sweetie!! *hugs* you sure you can't afford to fly over here for my wedding?? I'll give you a place to stay.. you and your mrs!! It's in 76 days how scary is that.. I'm only Mandy Price for two more months!!! I'm glad you finally "won" the battle against HIM though to be honest he lost the day he left you!! Your loyal fan and far away friend xxxxxxx Moo xxxxxxxx
from themoodswing :
My dear, in you I see myself how I was 2 years ago. I'd just been royally fucked by my so-called best friend. I knew what a little bitch she could be and I let her hang around too long. Didnt tell her to fuck off when I should have, which is a bad habit of mine. I only want to see the good in people, and it's not in my nature to hurt people. That's what your Inner Bitch is for, to protect you from people like that. If you have thoughts of 'hurting' someone you were close to, it's because they deserve it. Anyway, I'm glad you have gotten that poisonous person out of your life, although from your entries I'm assuming the person still reads your diary. [This "best friend" of mine still reads me, 2 years and about 4 diary moves later. I now refer to her as the Stalker. haha] You should be proud of yourself. Never let anyone walk over you again *hug* :)
from candoor :
merry happy new year to you :)
from euphoria21 :
Maybe I shouldn't say this but it seems that whoever is getting all of that 'hothead bitching' deserves it. Hit 'em with your best shot, honey. Hey, is it wrong to say that 'angry' is a good color on you?
from euphoria21 :
I like the glasses, her short cropped hair reminds me of my ex. Weird! Take care, hun...
from euphoria21 :
Question? Are you the redhead or the brunette I saw in your December 6 entry???
from euphoria21 :
Why is it that you remind me so much of myself, so much so that when I'm entering into my little downward spiral I have a faint feeling that you might just understand what I'm feeling, maybe it's just these holidays that have me thinking a bunch of crap. Take care
from invisibledon :
happy holidays
from euphoria21 :
Oh darling, I just read the entry in which you wrote a ltter to your mother. It had me practically in tears and my biggest fear is to have that happen to me, my mom is my life and my guardian angel. I'm glad gettingnaked had you on her list. And if you don't mind this fellow lesbian will have to add you to her list. I hope you and your family have a great Christmas. Oh, by the way, HI :)
from no-map :
hey sweetest of all the sweeties!!!!!! was jus thinking about you and thought I'd drop by and leave you some love in case you need in later *deposits HUGE box of love* yr amazing.. just in case you don't feel it today... YOU ARE!! I know.. Im english!! ;-p love ya xxx
from xbeeyatchx :
hey love your diary
from jensanimals :
Clicked your banner and just thought I would say hello while I was here. I love the ring.. absolutely beautiful!! Read a few entries, I will be back for more.
from salazabr :
Love the ring and the necklace but don't forget Paloma Picasso, she's got some great stuff too. I also like their 1837 collection, especially the lock bracelet which I was told is so hot they can't keep it in stores. But yeah, Elsa's the best if you ask me. ;)
from rainbow127 :
Thankie ^ ^ I love my Yellow Card! Tay says "I don't think of myself so much as a boy anymore. I feel comfortable just being a lesbian with you. If I were to become a boy, the beauty of 2 women together would be lost." He does'nt want to transition anymore. He says he does'nt need it now, that I make him comfortable just being himself ~smiles~. That makes me feel good. ^ ^ Kwanza !!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!! I celebrate Yule, so my Christmas is on the 21. Taylor has been going through a rough time. His Grandma, who he was really close to, just died on Monday. The wake was yesterday. I've been there for him though. I even skiped my morning classes just so I could be with him, so he would'nt feel so alone and hopeless. I remember him on the phone with me Monday night getting drunk and me feeling so helpless. He's OK now. I'll never forget how happy he was to see me when I walked in to his room, found him sleeping, wraped my arms around him, and woke him up by kissing him. But all is good. I turn 17 in a month!!!!!!!!! That's one year closer to moving out!!!!!!!! YEAH! My mom said that I should'nt move out till I finish school. (WTF is she on that I don't know about???). I plan on moving out the day I turn 18 and there's nuthin she can do to stop me. I'm probably going to have to stop argueing with everyone about how I look. They won't let me win damn it!!! <3 ya
from salazabr :
LOL!! Some would say that and would say that I'm evil incarnate...the people that know me the best would say I'm both. ;) If you still want a password email me at brian.salazar@ge.com.
from mary-g :
Hi~ I've been reading you for a while now and am hooked... love the way your brain works. I was catching up today, and really connected with your entry about your girl's exes. How on earth do we get past feeling compared? I will never be as beautiful/talented/this/exquisite as my girl's ex... so what do I do about it? I'll share any revelations I have if you do the same. Right now, I guess I say, fuck it! You're you, and a damn good catch. M
from themoodswing :
Eeep, sorry for the double-post
from themoodswing :
In 2000 I was working in a shop and quit 2 days before Christmas with no warning. My manager was a bitch and she pushed her luck just a little too far. Quitting then was the absolute worst thing I could do and I am still so proud of myself for doing it. My advice in dealing with pushy customers is to tell them very loudly to wait their turn, and if someone physically grabs your arm to get your attention use that same big loud voice to tell them to take their hand off you. No customer is allowed to lay a finger on you. Anyone that did that to me (and there were plenty) were told to leave the store and never come back.
from themoodswing :
In 2000 I was working in a shop and quit 2 days before Christmas with no warning. My manager was a bitch and she pushed her luck just a little too far. Quitting then was the absolute worst thing I could do and I am still so proud of myself for doing it. My advice in dealing with pushy customers is to tell them very loudly to wait their turn, and if someone physically grabs your arm to get your attention use that same big loud voice to tell them to take their hand off you. No customer is allowed to lay a finger on you. Anyone that did that to me (and there were plenty) were told to leave the store and never come back.
from rainbow127 :
Hey CherBear!!! New idea: get to be your mini-hothead (the ideas that pop into my nutty little head ~shakes head~). See ya round!!!
from iamafatgirl :
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN FOREVER. I'm having withdrawls. I HAVE A MATH FINAL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh sweet Jesus. At 8am....please help me!!!
from salazabr :
I'll email you one if you want. =)
from pink-circle :
{Circle Invite} On behalf of the circle, I would like to invite you the our writer's group. We are in the middle of a reform, to rebuild our group. I have noticed your displayed interest in poetry &/or writing, please visit our site. If you're interested, leave a note to this account. -Circle Council
from sassers :
The rifle quote is one of my vary favorites. I like the matching of it with a baby picture. Ole!
from irishblueyes :
Just wanted to say hi, found you through your banner and you have a really great diary.
from iamafatgirl :
I had a weird dream with you in it the other night... Remind me to tell you about it sometime...
from no-map :
theres never a hurry when it comes to me so don't stress! You don't suck! you {say it with me) ROCK ALL THE SOCKS!! and i mean all of them.. socks worldwide rocking at the hothead!! ;-) hope yr well It's 5:30am I can't sleep!! Love ya xxx
from no-map :
hey honey, My sexy boy is an incredibly talented proffesional musician. I LOVE IT!! He does three or four nights of corporate and events gigs with the cover band then does random residencies and gigs with his accoustic set, he also writes and sells songs as well as being a talented film and sound editor AND a freelance sound and light engineer!! He loves it he only just went pro and is having the time of his life making a living from something he loves.. he doesnt want to be famous because he doesnt think he could handle it but he's amazing.. Ill get some recent pics soon!! Im off to look for that ring now!! mmm! He's just such a sexy BITCH lol! can't wait for him to get in *grins naughtily* Life over here is going well. hows things with you? was it this weekend that the lady visited?? how was it?? you better be going to update mrs!! anyway.. this is possibly the longest note ever I should probably have emailed but never mind! I LUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRVE you as ever!! mmm even more so because you agree on the eyeliner!! xxx
from iamafatgirl :
Hey, I have a new diary...but you will be uninterested in reading it. I know this because I am the Tia Tia, and I rock like that. I love you muy mucho and just trust that I'm doing what is best for me. Keep in touch with me via email or aim. You've been so great to me! Thanks so much!!
from hamiltonian :
your a hot hothead
from no-map :
hello.. wow it is now 2:30am... Im off to read for a few hours (chronic insomniac) I love you! Im drained of words but my thoughts are all there with you.. with you now and all of the you's I've met in the what 3 years?? or your journey! thank you for being beautiful and changing the world one diary entry at a time!! (ps whos the pic on the profile?) xxxx
from heidiann :
Well my first response was: Hell if I know, I did it two years ago and I can barely remember what I managed to pull off yesterday! But then I looked around the members area and HA HA! Found it! First the pic has to be 100 pixels by 100 pixels. Then upload. Then go to Edit Your Profile. In there is an option to change your profile picture. And there you go! =) Woooooo!! Hope that helps!
from no-map :
aaaaaw hey there!! Im over the moon that you would say that.. however I now worry for your mental health or maybe your eyesite.. It was indeed me in the pic however it has to be one of the worst Ive posted thus far!! Oh well.. I love you now.. Its too late.. you're stuck with me *hugs* xxxxxxxx
from fuschiashock :
you rock my socks.
from hamiltonian :
Congrats on 400!
from fuschiashock :
that sounds rather... unappetizing.
from hamiltonian :
I missed you online. I looked forward to chatting with you. Take care...
from sassers :
Yeah, working in a sex toy factory led to interesting postings that lead to interesting search results. :)
from hamiltonian :
"The message is that there are no knowns. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns, that is to say there are things we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns - things we do not know we don't know."--Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
from hamiltonian :
"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."--President George W. Bush
from rainbow127 :
hiya lady!!! i feel like a total traitor, neglecting my d-land 4 like a loooooooooong time.
from mistresslink :
thanks for joining high fidelity :)
from iamafatgirl :
Well, I would get bored with being the preacher...because, don't we get bored listening to the preacher... Plus, adults are THE SUCK. they take offense at EVERYTHING, and I like people my own age...I like to try to help people. Bah. Now you have me thinking...and why aren't you online, right now????? Just when I need you to be. Bah.
from mcmenses :
Damn you heidiann, damn you to HELL (shakes fist in general direction). I've got to have that poster, or I shall die trying. Anything else you need done that can earn me points toward this precious object d art? Anything? Shoeshining? I need that poster...fuck! I was like two hours too late---fuck fuck fuck. I'll get you Heidiann, and your little dog too...
from sassers :
Queers and books are the choice of the new generation. I heart being in library school. I hope you get your job.
from heidiann :
Well I listen to the majority of my music in the car and I only have a CD player in there. But I would be perfectly happy with a tape! Whichever you prefer.
from heidiann :
You are SO welcome! It's so exciting to be the broke ass version of Oprah!!
from iamafatgirl :
What if IIIIIII want to get you super-gold, huh???? What's in it for me then???? Hmm??? I thought so. -grins- Things are getting bettererer with me, as you can tell if you read my diary regularly. Stressed out at the moment...I'm going to be over the SYATP thing tomorrow, and the local channel tv dude came in Factory Connection today, and my assisstant manager, Kathy, told him that I was doing it, and he mentioned coming and recording it. I gave him a big southern "UH...NO THANKS". Bah...choir calls. i love you tons!!
from hamiltonian :
I LOVE that poster!
from hamiltonian :
I LOVE that poster!
from hamiltonian :
oh well hehehe
from hamiltonian :
I'll get you the cheap gold when I get back from this hurricane bs.
from hamiltonian :
I added you to msn messenger and aol messenger
from foxinsnow :
I recommend you read The War On Choice by Gloria Feldt. I haven't read it yet, but I should. A woman being charged with first-degree murder for drugging herself while pregnant is only one of the insidious symptoms of the erosion in the USA of a woman's right to her own body.
from iamafatgirl :
Thanks so much for the note...it makes me happy that people realize that I'm not the only one to blame...I hope things get better too...or I might have to run away.
from iamafatgirl :
Thanks so much for the note...it makes me happy that people realize that I'm not the only one to blame...I hope things get better too...or I might have to run away.
from hamiltonian :
I watched it year ago and actually have iton tape somewhere though its old as shit. Shes great in this interview...; btw I just had an inkling to tell you about a book: Nien Chengs Life and Death in Shanghai http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/014010870X/104-2554735-9465542?v=glance
from hamiltonian :
check this out: http://www.charlierose.com/shop/showTapesbyguest.asp?intProdID=11330
from madamewolf :
aww kewl kewl. I'll have to download that song then. :)
from madamewolf :
I'm 18 and hes 22
from hamiltonian :
I love Lucy Grealy too! I wish i could have met her...
from joalu :
Thanks much! It's good being back. I'd been keeping up to date on friends' diaries but found no will to keep up my own. Sorry to see you've not been doing 100 percent, but things seem to be steadily (though slowly) going better. Keep it up, chicky.
from mcmenses :
re: 8/21 entry. We have a great deal in common, culturally and economically speaking. My family history is very much like yours eg: shut up and put up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, suffering builds character. Okay, BUT: the world is not the same as it was twenty years ago, or like with my parents not the same as it was in the 50's and 60's. You can't get by with a high school education (or less) anymore. It takes more in order to survive in today's america. A college education is a start, but I'm learning not a guarantee either. What I've done for myself is to commit to working for a company I can tolerate, that gives me something (not everything, but at least insurance) and has solid principles and corporate philosophies I can live with. It's not perfect but it's better than most. I give them my time, they give me money and bennies, I go to school and make other long term plans. Don't settle for less than that, girl. Suffering builds character? Uh, maybe but it also burns you out and makes you old before your time, kills your dreams, breaks your heart. Strive to value your roots, but work for a better way of life for yourself (and this country). Take what you need and leave the rest. And always try to give something back---that way, you can respect yourself. Love to you! Sorry for the "epic-sized" note...
from neangel :
good luck with the dinner! thank goodness for second chances. btw i love the ani layout & quotes. she is awesomely amazing & sexy
from foxinsnow :
yes, I'd love to chat sometime! Just e-mail me @ ecaudy@hotmail.com. Make sure "hothead" is in the subject heading so I don't delete the message. Cheers!
from banefulvenus :
loving your page... and the quote from the first line in your profile seems familiar like an old Ani Difranco song... I love her stuff! You rock..... :)
from heidiann2 :
Pain is just weakness leaving the body. My god, that's my new mantra. Am totally loving all your banners! =)
from mcmenses :
Today's "hot 100" entry was a lot of fun. Again, we have more in common than you would probably like to admit. I may have to borrow that "100" idea from you---giving the HH full props of course! Glad to hear that you are doing well, C. Keep in touch?
from golfwidow :
Liked your "no makeup" banner!
from invisibledon :
you most certainly did see a Community Inn thing in my diary - they love me there - that's my alcohol hang out. - I work too much to have too much fun except when I have the kids.
from invisibledon :
yes trying to find a date in the 'Noke is really more work than it's worth - IM me sometime invisible980 on AIM if you are ever on that- and you never said what would happen had I gotten my tattoo at someplace other than alex's
from invisibledon :
What if I didn't get it at Alex's ?? I did though M/M did the tattoo. So what do you do for fun in the noke ???
from chikyblonde :
thanks for signing my halsparks ring! I like the way you write...very emotional.
from invisibledon :
What brought me to the 'noke... well once upon a time I was married to a girl from here and lived far far away but then the girl decided that we needed to live in the 'noke so we moved and then she promptly started acting younger and younger until she finally unevolved back to about 16 years old and started dating her high school boyfriend again. So we aren't married anymore and we had two kids so I won't leave them so here I am in the lovely 'noke valley.
from invisibledon :
i've been here about 7 years now or something like that and I think I'm stuck here for a while longer too.
from joalu :
Yay Ms. Dyke Write!
from invisibledon :
yeah I know what you mean about not having a car - I've been in that boat before and it blows big time. So you left the Noke and got sucked back in huh - that goes well with my theory about the Noke.
from invisibledon :
It's not all bad - I'm a transplant to the fab-u-ness that is da 'Noke too.
from invisibledon :
So are you in the Noke?
from joalu :
Oh. My. I understand about the laying around and fanning oneself, and I friggin have a job here. I'm so bored with myself that I can't stand it, and I'm so unmotivated to do anything about it that I ... can't stand it. I'm going to blame it on the heat for now. We'll see what other interpersonal issues float to the surface while I'm distracted by this weather excuse. PS: Thanks for the column mention!
from nimiiwin :
Remember your card? I have it on my bulletin board at my office! :) What I need is *ideas*! And I'm only going to do postcards cause that's the paper I got! I'll come up with something. Maybe I'll do mini collages. Now there's a good idea! See? I just needed to talk to my lovely hothead.
from invisibledon :
Thanks for adding me to your favorite list and the previous note says happy b-day so Happy b-day hope it isn't too late
from heidiann2 :
!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
from nimiiwin :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite nearly-ex-New-Yorker! :)
from joalu :
Yeah really. These feelings are so damn confusing, because it's not like he was actually good for me. And is it just that I'm lonely? Or is it that it was him? When I checked my messages last week and he'd called, I went birzurck (sp?). My hands were shaking, I was hyperventilating, my heart was pounding. Seriously pounding. So what's that if it's not real feelings? And why oh why must he be bad for me? And why oh why can't I just meet someone better already? Stupid boys. And stupid boys who used to be girls (right?). Anyway, they're all stupid.
from heidiann2 :
Heh...I actually did tear up a bit when I first heard it. Then I skipped back over and over and over to hear it again and again and again. God DAMN does it hit the mark.
from heidiann2 :
Oh my god. That's my absolute favorite Sex in the City line EVER. Ever ever ever EVER.
from mcmenses :
re: what nimiiwin said about love. This is a lesson that's taken me years to learn. About 8 years ago, I did some very bad things to C., we broke up briefly, lived apart for about a year. I was looking for excitement, that honeymoon feeling, high adventure and dyke drama. And I got it, let me tell you. I've learned so much since then. Buddhism has taught me that much of life's magic lies in the ordinary, the dance of routine and work and commitment. I could speak volumes about this subject, but I'll leave it to you and Nimi I guess. My only words of wisdom: Be Here Now.
from mcmenses :
As usual, I totally relate to that chronic outcast dorky feeling. I don't know why we have to compare ourselves to other people---it's like a compulsion for me and I hate it. Even right now I'm thinking "HH doesn't like me, I bet she thinks I'm a bitch, blah blah blah". We've got to stop doing that---scaring ourselves from doing stuff and going out into the world.
from joalu :
You are certainly not an ass for not knowing one of the 100,000 people in Roanoke. And I didn't write the particular 20some column you mentioned, but I do gab on about Noke things and such. PS: Happy you and cactus are employed. Livings are so satisfying.
from nimiiwin :
Okay, so I went to church today. I kinda had to since I was the Chaplain du jour, but anyway. There was this woman and she sang with her daughter. It was Martina Mc Bride's song: In My Daughter's Eyes and as soon as I understood the words, I thought of you and I cried. I mean, I cried, girl. Not quiet tears that slipped quietly down my cheeks. I needed tissue. I wanted to excuse myself. It's country, i know, but if you get a chance, once you're feeling a tad less vulnerable, listen to it. It's amazing. And I bet your mom would have sung this song to you today if she could have.
from nimiiwin :
:blushing: Aw, thanks! The feeling is totally mutual, sweetpea! You totally made my day!
from rainbow127 :
*smiles* Thank you lots.
from themoodswing :
A very late welcome to the Self-Taught diaryring :)
from rainbow127 :
Hi. Umm... cactustree told me that you've dated an FTM and said I could probably talk to you about whats going on with my girlfriend. I wrote about what happened to her in my diary. It's made me really afraid for her, even though she says she'll go through anything to be herself. I understand that, but I've heard so many horror stories about skinheads killing trans ppl that I'm like kinda paranoid. I don't really know anyone who's been through this, so I was wondering if I could talk to you sometime. Thanks.
from nimiiwin :
Oh, I understand. Before I gave my sister the link to my diary, I deleted a few pages. I mean, she's 17, right? Do I want her to read certain things about me? No, ma'am, I do not! So, no worries, love! :)
from nimiiwin :
So. I open Diaryland today and look at my buddy list. I see my girl hothead is highlighted and I think, "good! I wonder what she's up to?" Then. I get to the site. And what is there? The same ol' stuff I read yesterday. What, do you suppose, is up with that? Sigh. I'll just have to wait.
from onepinkrose :
I'm glad things are turning around for the two of you. You two are so perfect for eachother that you don't deserve anything but the happiness you have just stumbled upon. You two are always in my thoughts and I check in with your diary's often. Hugs and Kisses to the both of you. Congrats on the new job. Glad you love it. Just remember that you are one step closer to the big move the two of you want now. Choa.
from nimiiwin :
Frankly, I'd love to move to NYC, but my partner thinks *Kalamazoo* is a big city and wouldn't even think of it unless I made enough money that she could not work ... and since I work in nonprofits, that's not likely! :(
from nimiiwin :
Oh, God: first Olivia, then the break in and now this job thing? They say bad things come in 3s. Your three are at least over! You'll find the perfect job, Senorita Hothead. It's out there just waiting for you. Too bad you don't live in Michigan and want to be an admin assistant. You could come work for me!
from grngrl75 :
Girl, I'm so sorry all this shit is happening to you! You're in my thoughts!
from drearocks :
Nothing but POSITIVE energies for you sweets! You'll do a great job! Kick some ass!!!
from onepinkrose :
Just sending out my vibes to you. I hope your interview goes great! You shouldn't have a problem though. Your made up of charm and everything else. GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!
from koomaster :
Since our Karma is so reversed I'll try and have a bad day so that yours will be great and you get the job! Hey, my phone service is out at home - that's a start!
from grngrl75 :
You're going to do a great job at the interview and they'll love you!
from nimiiwin :
You are going to totally awesome them! I know it!
from mcmenses :
Sweet! Isn't it wonderful when we are actually recognized for our gifts/talents, even if it's only for a second and by a stranger? That is sooo cool. I'm sending positive vibes your way. You can do this, Cher. You can do anything!
from keryanna :
I get letting your significant other read your diary. Really, I do. And I think that communication is key in a relationship. However, sometimes I think that thoughts need time for cultivation, realization and explosion - just for the sake of release. Although an online diary is inherently public -there's some refuge in the anonymity of it all. Remember to take time for yourself. Have space for yourself. For your self-indulgence and mental health. It's essential for your spirit to bloom.
from nimiiwin :
Ditto what McMenses said!
from mcmenses :
You fucking ROCK. I bow in your general direction and my nipples salute you! The best girlfriend ever.
from virginistic :
Visiting from Abby's di. Y'all are some kick ass females. Do ya thing!
from nimiiwin :
Well, hothead, I agree with you 100%. I just left Abby a note that she should stop this already! I'm sorry you both have to deal with such nonsense drama.
from grngrl75 :
thank you thank you for your comments. I really need to get my ass in gear and just do it. Thanks for your support.
from andreakj :
Marriages for same sex couples!! ROCK ON!!! I am so incredbily excited that there are are same sex couples out there who are officially married. My intense happiness for it is indescribable!!
from seekingme :
Hi, I've been reading your archives for awhile now and this note relates to your Feb 7, 2003 post. I just want to say. Wow. So well written. You think you haven't conveyed the feelings, but you have. I went through something similar with my mother and reading your words brought it home for me. Glad your current situation is going well...I wish you all the best.
from grngrl75 :
Congrats on the closure. Good job.:)
from grngrl75 :
I'd have to say I'm my own biggest critic and have fought with low self esteem for years. I'm sorry things were said that shouldn't have been...some people are just ..well..assholes.
from andreakj :
That was an amazing and reaffirming entry. I feel just the same most of the time, except for when my occasional self esteem issues get the best of me. Things like your most recent post are a necessary reminder for people on both sides of the equation. You rock, thanks.
from grngrl75 :
Thank you for your guestbook entry. I just found your diary and so far am enjoying reading it:) Thank you for your condolences...
from janetplnetoc :
If you do "sleep with the fishes" it'll be the gefelte fishes, they are pretty tame. I think you'll be okay. Many congrats to you both. Save the couch for me when I visit! LOL
from andreakj :
I have been thinking on and off about how to phrase this, and I hope this is good enough... it's a little story with a moral at the end. One of my best friends who I love dearly, fell in love with his first boyfriend when he was 19 and his boy was 17. Due to issues in the boy's family, the boy's immaturity, etc, etc, the relationship ended. However, the wounds stayed open for both of them for a long time afterwards (they're 22 and 20 now), and some of those wounds are even still there. For them to heal as much as they did, though, they needed to talk and eventually give eachother lot sof space. I guess.. thinking about that made me think of this: your girl gave six years of her life to Ginger, and regardless of what a bitch Ginger is, she was a huge part of the better part of your girlfriend's adult life, and it ended suddenly. Now, your girlfriend has the chance to tie up lose ends, and move on in a way that's a bit healthier, which may mean having to spend some time with Ginger, and realizing all the reasons why she's happy with she's with you, and not Ginger. If you trust her, let her tie up the loose ends, it will help her move on a lot more quickly and heal faster. I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but... I've seen people go through similar things, and I learned from what they did right and from thier mistakes.
from notquiteeve :
She loves you, don't doubt it. It's so obvious by her diary, her words. I know you have scars, and people should be shot for treating you the way they have, but to give yourself justice, you *deserve* happiness. You are such a kind loving girl, don't let your past hide your present. *hugs* Stacey
from andreakj :
I have been reading your diary on and off for a couple weeks now, and I jsut read your entry about working in a call center. let me tell you girl, I have worked in call centers, and it is fucking hell on Earth. I hated my job, through all the bullshit and stupidity by imagining I was shaking my customers by the shoulders, putting my phone on mute so I could yell at them and berate them, and... fantasizing about having a remote kill button. And I'm not even violent. This is what having a call center job does to a person. Hang in there, you'll make it.
from thevow :
Beautiful entry. I've heard such good things about you I just had to come by and say hello. "Hello!!"
from jumpythumper :
I can't wait to meet you man...your pain is so palpable...like mine right now. I'm there with you, keep on doing what you're doing. I'm cheering you on.
from driqa :
get in touch, hot stuff. i miss you.
from no-yes-maybe :
I found you through Dykewrite. You have a killer layout and I love the writing. You seem like an awesome person.
from ladytani :
good for you! theres always time for a fresh start.,..im thinking of making one for me too...ooweoh
from koomaster :
GRRRRR, I love you honey, but NO! I guess by this point (5pm) you've made up your mind about whether to go file papers or what - but note my "GRRRRR" at the beginning of this! A dream? You'd let your life be dictated by a dream? Honey, you told that ass what would happen - he signed fucking papers knowing he understood! Now it is your responsibilty to follow through and file those damn papers! Erg, I love you e-mail me later!
from ilona719 :
thanks for joining the dark chocolate ring ;)
from sylviashadow :
Thanks for joining poetica! May the muses always whisper in your ear.--sylviashadow,ringleader
from koomaster :
I love you too dear! By the way, did you know there are 60 episodes of Trading Spaces each season? And next season they are doing 80! That blows my mind and I had to share!
from megl42 :
Hi there, welcome to the Queer Eye ring. Don't forget that the Fab 5 are on Leno again tomorrow night! Cheers, queers :)
from cherriegrrl :
hey doll, thanks so much for the wee note, it really helped me. i was kinda *stressed* with my creative flow when i wrote that entry. hope you're doing well! talk soon xox
from koomaster :
To answer your question I must quote... "The mack daddy'll make you JUMP JUMP! The Daddy Mack'll make you JUMP JUMP!" - That is all!
from lv2write00 :
hey---- Lv2write00 here- Will you email me... so I can have a private(ish) correspondence with you during this unbelievably hard time for you? Lv2write00@aol.com xoxo mb
from driqa :
cherylita-- your time will come, honey. love, z
from megsicle :
Jeannette Winterson is great, and so, dahlin, are YOU.
from lorigrrl :
I really like your diary. just thought i'd say that. i know so many people read my diary and yet i only hear from a few of them. sometimes i wonder 'i wonder what that looks like from some other point of view'. Everyone should hear more often than they do that they are special. so yeah i like your diary. it's definitely something special =)
from devian :
reading your diary made me miss northampton!
from koomaster :
You're okay, believe me. Trust in thy lord Greg my child!
from koomaster :
You technically didn't lie either. You said someone sent you the picture. Well technically somebody did. You see Bastian "sent" it onto the world wide web, which made it accessible to you, thus "sending" you the information when you brought up the page on the screen. You do see why I will rule the world right?
from koomaster :
Hey, the whole Bastian website thing. Please, you are so innocent, he posted that website on the internet for all to see. He is connected to Webrings and all sorts of stuff. You could find him by doing a serch on google. It's not as if he was hiding somewhere. Don't worry about it. If he didn't want a pic of him out there, he shouldn't have posted it.
from koomaster :
i got's nuthin' but luv, you're mah lady and i'm your thug, i pitty da fool who don' peep this, i sens mah lady a hug n' kiss! Peace out!
from koomaster :
No, what you said didn't cause that hopeless entry. That was my alter ego Liz. She's a gothic wannabe that I let out every once in a blue moon. Didn't mean to worry you.
from koomaster :
Ok updated for you my dear. Why does someone keep taking my boyfriend John away from me?
from koomaster :
Walmart is a fun place to be!
from koomaster :
I love you too!
from supernalscar :
i know you, i know i know you but i must ask..who? are? you? the answer...
from invisibledon :
Happy Holidays
from unibreast :
"when i'm about to go crazy, and i'm still livin' here, i just get my friends together and we dance, dance, dance." --luscious jackson. my favorite was dancing to milli vanilli in my room end-o'term. we have so much life to live, let's not crumble. we're too versatile and resilient for that. cheryl we are meant to dance. and fall and get up offa that thing, dancin' makes you feel bettah.
from invisibledon :
whats up?

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update April 6, 2020: Sorry, we just had 8+ hours downtime due to a server problem. Restoring from backups took soooo long, but everything is back and no data was lost. Ay yay yay! Anyhow, hope everyone is well with the virus stuff.

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