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I love how you say whatever is on your mind or whatever is bothering you at that moment like you don't care what others think of you. I sometimes need that kind of courage myself when i write. And btw, you do whatever you feel you need to do. I try not to be judgemental of other ppl's personal choices because i too used to be a person who never wanted children and it's hard enough in this world trying to do what you want without others imposing their own ideas of what you should be (or not be). Give yourself a break, okay?

from fledgling- :

I just realised that your back *happy dances*. Good stuff. I was beginning to run out of good diaryland fodder to chew over so Yay!.. *L*

from jumblygiant :

that was great to read. that's a great attitude about the whole thing. made me excited for you. xo.

from fledgling- :

Hiiii! You definately should come back to writing, as long as you want to of course. Don't want to twist your arm or anything ... *twist, twist, twist!* heh heh. Everything is good with me, in a weird sort of way. How is married life treating you? :) Hope you n your family (husband & dogs) are all doing fantasticly well!

from fledgling- :

I thought i had forgot my password to your diary but then I remembered it! Are you ever coming back by the way! Have missed your writing!

from jumblygiant :

i feel the same way...

from fledgling- :

That man definately has the gift of the gab *s* Nice to see you back!

from pura-vida :

Hola, friend!

from fledgling- :

I think i'm in a similar funk. I want to move, but know that currently i have a good position at work and have a steady home life but lately i've been wondering what it would be like to live somewhere different and to start over. I'm too scared though. Maybe one day I'll be brave and take that leap but not today.

from uberfrau :

I never experienced intense depression-if I had describe it, I would say it was relentless apathy. My therapist told me to find hobbies, and I didn't find it to be all that helpful. Maybe you and Ed could think of long range life plans-like where you'd like to live or planning a dream vacation-that sort of stuff. It seems like you've been through a lot this year-and really been doing everything possible to get on track. You know that eventually all of this work will pay off. In the meantime-you could focus on basic contentment-like the daily stuff-good coffee-playing fetch with the dog-stuff like that. It may not be immediately clear to you where everything is going, or what the larger purpose is-but you're still moving in that direction anyway. Eventually, you will feel better. Eventually, you will be happier. That's just how it works. I don't know, over the last year-it's occurred to me that I know that I am happy when I am not really worried about what the meaning of doing things is. i I just want to crank up the music and sing louder.

from uberfrau :

I just read my comment and thought I should clarify-you shouldn't write a thesis b/f pregnancy, but it's like a pregnancy in that you just can't write it without preparing. It seems like you're trying to coordinate a lot-I'd just make a list of all of the things you need to do beforehand. That way you're not trying to do everything at once. Ps. you hsould check out a novel called the confession of zeno-it's about a guy who is also smoking his last cigarette.

from uberfrau :

Hey Relax! What's the rush? You have plenty of time, years in fact! Think of taking steps towards the ultimate goal-like writing a thesis or something.

from fledgling- :

Well just for the record, I wasn't remotely maternal before I had my son. I actually planned on never having a child because I didn't feel I had anything to offer - no love, affection or attention - but being a parent has changed that. I now realise that although I never wanted to be a parent, I definately wouldn't go back in time and change it. Oh and just for the record, since my pregnancy was so unplanned and all, I was actually drinking whilst I was pregnant, because I didn't know. I immediately stopped of course when I found out but my point is that there wasn't any damaging effects from my slip so don't go too hard on yourself. Worry about it isn't going to change it. Stay strong.

from fledgling- :

It's only natural to worry so much. I think you and Ed will do fine together, raising a child or two *wink, wink* heh heh.

from fledgling- :

I believe you would make a wonderful mum Emily, when you and Ed do decide to have children of your own. You'll get some cynics out there but it's your life and your body so therefore yours to do with what you please.

from molu4 :

Thanks for the tip--I finally figured it out and then did just what you suggest. Bought myself a 3 month membership (man did that piss me off) and saved the blamed thing. I'll definitely let you know if and when something new arises. RE: kids making life meaningful. It's true. And I don't think that's bad. What else are we here for but to find meaning in life? I'd absolutely tell my kids that. We did have them as a way to enrich our own lives--why would that be wrong? I hope I enrich my parents lives, don't you? Wouldn't you want to be something that made life more meaningful to someone else? Kids are exhausting and make life hard, but they really do also make me want to get out of bed every morning (and get back in every night. Dag, I'm tired). Anyway. My 2c.

from joleen :

Congratulations on the wedding! I love the photos - my favorite is the one of you and Moose in bed. :)

from red-jade :

"I'm going to start embracing my antisocial nature." Man, I totally identify. But it makes me sad and uncomfortable to be a recluse too.

from molu4 :

Congratulations!

from fledgling- :

Congratulations Ed & Emily!

from uberfrau :

congrats!!!

from red-jade :

Best wishes for your marriage!

from fledgling- :

Wow. Your nearly a married woman *L*

from fledgling- :

It's nice to see you super excited about getting married without the worry following close behind :) This whole eloping thing seems to be agreeing with you.

from red-jade :

eloping sounds good. it's worth considering.

from fledgling- :

I think a private ceremony like the one that you described sounds wonderful and definately less stressful. After all it is about what the two of you's want and if yous want something intimate and very small, then go for it I say :)

from fledgling- :

I tried to email you to get your new password but the email came back at me saying it couldn't be delievered. My email is [email protected] if you want to send me the info. Ta!

from fledgling- :

I wouldn't take on anymore unless you feel comfortable. Don't feel too bad about not being able to adopt another dog right now. There is always going to be dogs that needs homes and you need to look after your man as well as your other two dogs. Anyway, you have a wedding to organise!

from fledgling- :

I feel like that myself sometimes. I know I could be doing more with my weekends, could be socialising more, but I'd rather be sitting at home yet when i sit at home I feel like I have done nothing substantial yet if i go out, i then wish i had of stayed at home. Now i just try not to analyse anything i do and just go with it *L*

from teachin-usa :

naked lunch changed it a while ago.

from fledgling- :

I simply adore that ring that you chose! Are you scrap booking all of this whole wedding planning thing because it would be fantastic to see it all unfold.

from fledgling- :

Emily is back! Emily is back! *happy dance*

from toriwc :

Glad to see you writing again.

from fledgling- :

I second that question! Where the hell are you! We miss your fantastic-ness (is that a word) here!

from uberfrau :

dude. where did you go????

from fledgling- :

If I had any confidence in my ability to sell my creativeness to anyone, than I would be doing it already *L* Nah. I'll just stick to the things that I am confident in and leave the pretty things to you dear Em.

from fledgling- :

*L* I think I might have to open up my own shop right here to pay off my own debts *L* Right now I'm totally in love with fake flowers and fairy lights. Me want, me want, me want!!!

from uberfrau :

light up a cigarette already. you can quit after the wedding. Not the time to make any more life changes.

from fledgling- :

you poor thing *hug* it's definately not easy to give up smoking so do whatever you think is necessary, to give it up.

from joleen :

Thanks, Em, for checking out my post, looking at the pictures, and the condolences. 17 years was a long time for Norma, and she was awfully sick at the end. Now she rests peacefully, and this makes me happy, at least. So many memories, and Gladys left to love too. I hope you and your animals are well too.

from geek-betty :

please can I still read? [email protected]. I used to be located at sanetwin.

from geek-betty :

I lost the p-word. knock knock. may I come in?

from uberfrau :

Yeah, I think the front would look better draped, with a shorter bodice.

from xanthium :

I actually like the dress, but it could fit a bit better. It is kind of too small and too big at the same time. I think the ruched front is flattering, but it seems like it is made for someone taller than you because the bodice comes up too high. It may just need to be adjusted by a seamstress, so see what she says.I wouldn't get something that I thought I would have to change my body a lot for because it is unrealistic and would make me stressed out. Besides, he is marrying you, the way you look everyday included, so why try to mess with that? Thanks for the note--the move wasn't too bad!

from teachin-usa :

First, you are adorable!! Second, it is not the dress for you. The horizontal lines of the bodice are not flattering. The dress looks too big for you- when I look at the photos I see just dress, no you. Something with a v-neck and that has a cut so bodice is not separate looking from the skirt, would be more flattering. Good luck and be patient!!

from schmutzie :

Weights, even light ones, are good for losing weight, because toned muscle continuously burns fat and calories, even when you're not at the gym.

from xanthium :

You're being so hard on yourself! Of course you can't change everything at once, especially when things are changing in your life anyways. Hope you feel better soon.

from teachin-usa :

Haven't you heard? 30 is the new 20! It's good you are dealing with your depression now. Your entry reminded me of me when I was 36 (now I'm 40). Changing patterns takes a lot of time, trial and error, and expensive medication- hee hee. When you eventually win the smoking battle you will be able to check that off of your list. Cheering for you---you can do it!!

from darrhlink :

Sumi e is relaxing and makes me less ocd. Just a thought

from uberfrau :

vindication is sweet

from red-jade :

"I have perfected the art of closing my eyes while rolling them. It's a good thing to learn. Or sighing without making a noise." hee hee, humourous and wise - I mean, humorous...

from red-jade :

your note made me lol. :-)

from jumblygiant :

aw, girl, I totally understand your irritation and situation. i do. i would recommend forcing him to speak to you directly. do something with just him. go to the store or something random. he's obviously attempting to hide some flaw. hide something behind his show of flashy. annoying, yes. but maybe you can meet him halfway somewhere and if he has the balls to let the real him show for a second, maybe the two of you can find some ground on which to be comfortable. idealistic? yes...regardless, good luck until thursdays. xoxo.

from molu4 :

Thanks for the book rec--I love book recommendations. So...can I have yer password? If yes: [email protected] Nice to hear from you again!

from manchmal :

Emily, yes. Emily.

from darrhlink :

Hey, can I use your awesome cool hummingbrd image in my awesome cool new diary? ~Emily

from razor-vixen :

Hi there! You don't know me, I don't know you, but I'd like to. Looking for new reads and you have commented on a gal I love, jumbly. Anyhow, check me out if you like, and if you see fit, I'd love your password! [email protected], Thanks!

from fledgling- :

All those invitations are just gorgeous! How am I meant to pick just one? I'm sure whatever you design and choose will be fantastic.

from xanthium :

Yes, em, it is a little bit too early. That said, I like the brown one with the daisies because it would look pretty tied with a yellow ribbon. I also like the brown one underneath it sans the butterfly and bird, as well as the green one next to it with the wavy bits.

from fledgling- :

If you talking about the fancy font on my page it's called 'Scriptina'. I absolutely love it myself because I'm a font whore *chuckles*. I think i downloaded it from Font Freak though it might be one of the links instead. Anyways I simply adore your paper flowers, that would be a neat guest gift to include in your wedding, I can't wait to see all your plans laid out because it will be wonderful and unique. Keep us all posted!

from joleen :

Strange about your mileage. I've been posting at Edmunds.com message forum about mileage, and it seems a lot of people are getting varied results. My mpg is going up each tank full, latest being 37.36 mpg. I drive a manual, my tires are properly inflated, I don't gun the engine, I haven't driven over 80 mph, usually top speed is 70. Not sure what to tell you. Fill your tank, set the trip meter, drive 'til the gas light comes on (you have an extra 30 or so miles left), then fill up again, zero out trip meter, divide total miles you drove that tank by the exact gallons it took to fill it up. If that's how you're doing it, I have no idea what the issue is. You should have a LOT higher mileage. Don't carry a lot of cargo, keep the tires inflated, keep your rpms's below 3500. Good luck! Yes, I love my car, but don't think of it as too "wee". I also never park next to anyone else - I am getting loads of exercise walking to entrances. :)

from joleen :

Your post, April 6th, 2007, unbelievable. That's the car I bought. March 12th. I bought the Silver Sport Honda Fit, Manual Transmission. Freak out.

from fledgling- :

I used nicotene (sp?) patches to quit this time round and I have never felt so normal. I can actually be around someone who smokes and though i want one, i can just shrug it off and say that i don't need it. Even my chain smoking boyfriend has found the patches have helped him too.

from uberfrau :

I am so impressed you are awake so early.

from uberfrau :

OH My GOD. Monica called to tell me! that bracelet was the coolest thing ever. I twas so romanic, I actually felt sick.

from fledgling- :

I quite like it, though the red trimming reminds me of Christmas, but it really is quite classic. Simple yet elegant. Are you sure you going to be able to settle on one wedding dress? hee hee!

from red-jade :

well i think it's drop-dead cute as fuck.

from a-green-leaf :

so very happy for you two.

from red-jade :

Incredible news! Congratulations!

from schmutzie :

Congrats! I was never the marrying type or anything like that until the Palinode came along, and six years later I would do it all again. (Your engagement bracelet is gorgeous).

from xanthium :

So very happy for you--congratulations!

from jumblygiant :

congratulations E!!!! that is so wonderful. The bracelet is beautiful.

from fledgling- :

Have you ever considered speaking to an accoutant? They can advise you of how to plan how to bank your money in such a way that you won't overspend and such. I'm not sure what they charge but it would be worth it if it helps you to save your hard earned dosh.

from red-jade :

As to whether full-out socialism would work in US, I'm not equipped to guess. But I think incorporating socialist ideals into our culture and legislation would be a good thing.

from fledgling- :

Well once we paint the kitchen our next project is our feature wall in the lounge room where we have these hand painted japanese style hangings on the wall. I'm thinking along the lines of a either dark purple tone or maybe a shade of pink which will look grand with downlights and such. Hell I might even decide on something bland like white with a stenciling of cherry blossoms down one side of the wall. It's not at all traditional with the house but it sure would look interesting *L*.

from red-jade :

hear hear. as a socialist, your rant today (4/19) really hit home. I want to share it.

from fledgling- :

Those photos on your other blog are gorgeous! I would of said so there but I can't leave a message. Is there any way for me to leave comments there without a google account?

from fledgling- :

*lmao* I can't believe you just went out and bought a new car, without even researching it first. That is so incrediably cool. I can't even buy a TV without weighing up the pro's and cons and taking at least a few months to decide *L*

from jumblygiant :

jeez! congrats!! I want one too! gimme gimme. happy for ya!

from red-jade :

happy birthday!!

from fledgling- :

Hey, Is it your birthday or something? *L* I can't read you because I reinstalled windows and lost all my passwords so would you mind resending me the information please! All I can remember is something to do with eyes *L*

from teachin-usa :

Happy Birthday!

from schmutzie :

Happy Birthday. I liked thirty. Thirty-four is looking a little grim with thirty-five looming over it, but thirty was good.

from xanthium :

Happy birthday! Even if it is the dreaded 3-0

from red-jade :

Wow! How triumphant your latest entry is!!

from xanthium :

Good for you! Glad to hear that you stood up for yourself and are doing things to make yourself happy!

from fledgling- :

I'm going through the whole obsession with clothes myself since my favourite seasons are approaching. Wouldn't it be nice to get a clothing allowance through work? *L*

from red-jade :

I wanted to see Marie Antoinette, but only because I'd be interested in Marie Antoinette. When I saw the previews I was a little turned off. Maybe I won't see it.

from jumblygiant :

Haven't seen MA, doubt I will unless some else has rented it or whatever. But will certainly tell you I agree (most likely) when/if I see it. And maaaybe you should email me the link of where you got that coat, because so cute! hopefully the job thing will solidify soon so you don't have to stress about it. hope you have a good weekend e.

from lildebkitty :

So did you change your password because it is so not working for me!

from moretoknow :

<3 Even though I hate the day...thanks.

from jumblygiant :

(1) Hi. (2) Thank for the beautiful Vday card. Loved it. Hung it up for all (well, if people actually came to my place) to see. (3) If I ever get married or have a kid or a party or something that requires invitations, I swear I am paying you handsomely to design the invitation because I love everything you do. (4) I wish I had a lomo. Just to play with. Jealous you have one in your midst. (5) Stay warm!

from jumblygiant :

I love that. If I knew about html computery stuff, I'd ask if I could use it in my DL template. But I don't, so I won't. Very pretty.

from schmutzie :

Good luck with the jobs and/or raises. You've got a lot in the air right now.

from whiskeyblood :

I made it through. You do everything the way I do everything so I was more engrossed with self-reflection than you could imagine. Next time we're on AIM I will send you my address so that you may send me cookies post haste! :P

from whiskeyblood :

When I quit smoking for over a year it was thanks to The Complete Idiot's Guide To Quitting Smoking. Might I suggest you look into that for yourself? Don't beat yourself up for taking a puff. You're still in the process of quitting and a cigarette is not going to take that away. <3

from xanthium :

glasses can cause distortion, and it takes a couple days to get used to a new pair, so it may be nothing. if it keeps bothering you, it they may have gotten your astigmatism wrong (if you have one). Or you may be wearing them at a different spot than you were when they measured the center of your vision. Sort of the weirdness (vertigo) of going up a flight of stairs. Don't know if you've tried that yet. They do look nice.

from joleen :

Avocado and Thai food, eh? Easy enough to feed that craving. I had the WORST Thai food the day after Christmas! It really turned me off, but I may get more soon, and never from that restaurant. My diary is not being written in so I locked it. You can talk to me on MySpace any time you want. And you should! New Year's? Eh, I'll stay home. I'm at the downside of ten days off straight, and it will be good to get back to work. I'm bored. :)

from joleen :

Oh yay, so glad you had a wonderful Christmas! Love the pictures, love you and Ed together. So happy and wonderful, no kidding, this is so nice to see that someone can have things turn all around for her. Very happy for you, Em. Me? Eh. Didn't do a thing. Ten days off work, just lounging, watching movies on cable, etc. Nothin', I got nothin'. :)

from jumblygiant :

thumbs up for the new hair. and a billion thumbs up for having a good christmas. love the pics too.

from fledgling- :

You & Mister always looks so cute together in pictures and yes, your new hair colour is lovely, though it's hard to see the highlights with that photo. I just know it looks divine. Glad to hear you had a Merry Christmas, hope the new year is just as swell!

from schmutzie :

Thanks for saying something nice about me! I was reading the whole Dooce rant, and I could see that there was a link to me further down the page, so I got nervous wondering if I was going to be ranted about, but no. You were so nice. Thank you.

from red-jade :

what an exuberant tree!

from jumblygiant :

hiya! I think your resume looks great. Not too cutesy at all. Just enough. I really like how your portfolio site is set up as well. Have a wonderful weekend E!

from schmutzie :

Dec 2, 2006 - I'm still here. I am just horrible at leaving comments. Your boss sounds like some hippy moms I used to run into. Ick.

from xanthium :

hello, hello! i'm still reading. Your resume is good, but I would consider taking the signature off the image after the first page--I think it does make it a little too cutesy.

from moretoknow :

By far the *^&%versusshowering.jpg one. Who is showering? Why do you have a picture? How do you live with that desktop? (I, for the record, don't have a single icon on my desktop)

from torchwood :

Yes, but. I believe he lost the race because so many people were annoyed with the party, they decided to vote for nader. It is always the lesser of two evils, honey.

from red-jade :

Nobody paid much attention to Kucinich. He was great. Maybe he felt free to speak his mind because he knew he wasn't going to win.

from teachin-usa :

Hi emily. Saw a bit of myself in your entry today. Good luck sorting it out.

from teachin-usa :

Could be depression.

from fledgling- :

I'm eating away with jealously right now! Not only do you take beautiful pictures but you get to use a desk which has real character. Wow. *turning green seriously* *gryn*

from fledgling- :

You are mister definately look cute together. It's funny but in those photos you took of him, I can actually see those characteristics that you talk about so often. Oh and that last photo of the pair of you is definately an awesome one of you!

from red-jade :

Is that a purple pepper? Are you a purple pepper eater? I love the photos. I'm starting to develop "dew-lap" too - now I have 2 cosmetic surgeries I want.

from fledgling- :

I'd recommend the paper route if it meant that you have more than a day to deliver the damn things. That was my biggest peeve at the thing. I love that latest picture! You should post more of your work.

from lildebkitty :

I wear a 9. too bad though, I thought those boots were super cute :(

from fledgling- :

Hey, why aren't you wearing those boots?! I felt like taking pictures of myself, similar to the ones with your face covered up, when I had the chicken pox, ha ha! Except I would of worn a brown paper bag over my head too!

from whiskeyblood :

Jesus. I'm sorry about the AIM on-again-off-again antics. I just can't seem to get that shit to work right here at work. DAMN YOU WORK! DAMN YOU TO HELL! After 2 hours of reading I feel sufficiently caught up on your life. ::HUG::

from lildebkitty :

hey Em I love the boots that fit you weird, so if you are looking to get rid of them since you can't return them let me know the size and I'll buy them off of you!

from fledgling- :

I tried to leave a message for you at signmyguestbook but it doesn't seem firefox likes the place so I guess I'll just have to leave it here huh. Grrr. I love the boots that you bought, both pairs, and wish I could buy something similar myself but alas I am too short (5ft something) and cannot pull the look offf. Doesn't stop me trying though. Oh and I just adore the coat, I have something similar hanging in the wardrobe somewhere, but favoured my new brown suede coat over everything this winter. Now that summer is here I need to update the ole wardrobe and dye my hair again. I probably should get a trim too. Ah well. Update more often girlie and good luck with getting that job!

from lildebkitty :

here is me saying hi! I moved my blog to WWW.therantingsofdeb.blogspot.com I got sick of diaryland. Don't worry about the smoking, you had a HORRID day! Chin up buttercup! ;)

from fledgling- :

It's gena from dark-embrace here. Do i get your new password? Been meaning to ask for ages but always forgot. Grrr! Stupid brain. How's things?

from wamsutafairy :

notey notey note note, you have a note. LA la la you have a note, note note note. (sung with punk undertones with raspy cigarette voice) I hate those mac ads too. I hate smoking too but now I smoke all of the time and I suck. Oh well. Have a nice day.

from uberfrau :

help me out, I totally lsot your password combo. [email protected]

from red-jade :

I was gone for a while, I think, now I read irregularly. Re: the Katrina photo - I love pictures, I really do. Worth a thousand words, as they say, and I love that you described the smell - I can almost feel like I am you there on my way to do what you did, feel the wind in my face... I love the rear view mirror view, too

from wamsutafairy :

Hi. No I do not have a working diaryland email. even when I had gold I was never able to make that thing work :( I tried to email you, but if you didn't get it just shoot me the password at excogitate at gmail.com

from vocaccia :

thanks for the note deario. i'm sure if i got into this more, i'd find out about various vegetarian factions and how they all work. it's curious to me that this is largely internal politics while there is this monolithic perception of vegetarianism throughout much of the general public. and how is that image produced and manipulated? i got more on this, thanks for making me think!

from teachin-usa :

Hi there, Could I have your password? Hope all is well. Ms. Brazil

from meeyapede :

Hey, you beautiful bitch: I finally return to Dland & your page is protected! Gol'durnit! Shoot me a line if you care to let me into your precious circle. It's meeyapede@ENLARGE!(no really, hotmail). Or don't...*sigh*

from lildebkitty :

I will have to try the book out... thanks!

from lildebkitty :

THANKS! Boys name is Cahner Preston, Scott is Scottish and it is a family name. I like Sophia too, but it is popular. I like redneck names myself and I am leaning towards Josephine, and calling her Josey, I like Molly as well and funny you should say cocker spaniel because I suggested Molly to Scott and he said no I had a Springer Spaniel named Molly. So now the quitting smoking is most essential, I have weened myself to 4 a day, but it is so hard.

from red-jade :

Sedatives! LOL - that's commitment.

from lildebkitty :

Well I can't access my guestbook for some reason, will you e-mail me the info to [email protected] pretty please!!

from lildebkitty :

well your password didnt work, will u send it to me please

from joleen :

Oh, that's Saturday's horoscope. :)

from joleen :

From Cainer.com, a Yasmin Boland horoscope: "If you have someone 'to have and to hold', this is the day to go and hold them tight, as romantic Venus in your own sign kisses Neptune. It's a day packed with romantic potential and Aries is one of the signs to feel it most. If you're reading this and gnashing your teeth because you don't have someone special: (a) go out and meet someone because the whole world is feeling a little extra romantic and (b) at the very least, celebrate your love for your mates. Neptune's in your friends' zone - tell them you appreciate having them in your life."

from mockbirdgirl :

This is just my �secret� diary. I have another diary @ sarahsundae.diaryland.com

from dark-embrace :

Is it still all messed up. I only fixed the font on the page is all so can't see what might have gone wrong. If your still having problems though I'll look into it. Thanks!

from geek-betty :

http://knitty.com/ISSUEspring05/PATTpetals.html okay one more!! lol.

from geek-betty :

http://www.headhuggers.org/patterns/flower02k.htm Free flower patterns!!!

from bettinas :

username: light password: switch

from excogitate :

Hey I am sort of back. I have been writing at livejournal now. if you have a livejournal, I am isis--. I should be there until diary-x is back whenever that happens. I still pop in to see what's up with everyone here at diaryland though :)

from joleen :

How do you suppose I should give you my password? Try e-mail. :)

from abigail-road :

Stumbled upon you, via my friend Schmutzie. Enjoyed what I've read so far! I'll be back!

from twangry :

Pardon my atrocious spelling.

from twangry :

Thank you kindly for the add. I really can't think of any good way to say that I think you're incredibly smart and funny and observant withouht being gusy, or sounding stalkerish...but there you have it.

from enondoiel :

Actually it's a he, so no :) But his mother is!

from red-jade :

you has got email

from excogitate :

Hi. Just checked my notes here. I left my new url in the last comment I signed at your guestbook. But to save a mouse click or three, just go to excogitate dot diary-x :)

from excogitate :

Hi! I just wanted to leave you a comment because I like your diary. I tried to leave a comment in your guestbook, but it wouldn't load :( I have also become part of the great diaryland exodus, and am thinking seriously about sticking with diary-x.

from liquidhuman :

You can so draw. Anyway, I have moved my journal to: http://www.livejournal.com/users/liquidhuman/ and I am just letting you know if you still want to keep reading. You can still leave comments, as well, even if you don't have a Livejournal. Cheers, Liquid Human

from schmutzie :

My haloscan comments will automatically put in your url if you have entered it in other comments and have not cleaned your cookies out. Just make sure that your url is not entered in the url field in the comments section if you don't want it included.

from xanthium :

I guess I am uber's Monica, and she's my little Di. What can I say, it's all quite cosy!

from red-jade :

1) Oooh, It. 2) If you don't know I'm not telling 3) Right now the ass-poof is yellow, and the body poof is lavendar. However, this is not a hard and fast color scheme. When the lavendar one starts to unravel, it'll become ass-poof and I'll get a new one for the body, all supple and lathery.

from moretoknow :

Oh, you've never done it? Well I assume in your life you've held a moist baby diaper, no? It hit me, as I was getting this stuff wet, that it felt familiar. And sure enough...same stuff. It's just a crystal which when added to water puffs itself up into this gelatinous mound of mush. And the words would be ok perhaps in a different font. Perhaps. But the picture itself is so profound.

from pumpkinhouse :

Twatwaffle is the best!

from schmutzie :

Hello? Are you still out there?

from surcey :

Oh, such a loaded question! Honestly, I am in such a marriage. But didn't know it would turn out this way. I survive without the sex, but I must admit it is very very very very etc. difficult. But for love, for love. What we will do for love. I should add that my husband is a wonderful man in every way. There's not much else I must "put up" with. Best to you.

from raisinet :

oy vay, i cant help it. the weather here is so depressing at this point in the year that it feels like something out of a bad movie. being a grumpus is no fun. boo to that. boo to everything.

from schmutzie :

I cut the tip of my finger partly off with scissors a few months ago, and I jus got my fingerprints back. It, too, was incredibly disgusting.

from schmutzie :

Yay! I'm so happy for you. New friends can be hard to come by.

from bettinas :

Wow--Thanks for that link to Mummy's Legs. I hope that author hasn't googled her book and discovered my diary and assumed it was a big eff you to her text. Yikes.

from schmutzie :

Re. your Aug 26 entry -- It's a toss-up between the first and the last picture. I'm kind of leaning toward the last one because the shadow definition is greater.

from schmutzie :

Hey, chin up! I have managed to lose 30 pounds, so it can happen. Okay, so it took me three years, but I still did it. Keep at it. Even if it takes a long time, it still gets done.

from dark-embrace :

Thanks for leaving that message in my guestbook and I apologise for taking so long to come back and say so. I really enjoy viewing your photos (like you might already know) and wonder what makes me you take certain shots because they look like something out of a magazine. Awesome. Hope you drop by again soon :)

from schmutzie :

Oh. Sweet. Jesus. Am I a bad person for thinking that dead turkey picture is hilarious? I like your photographs.

from idiot-milk :

There's one boy at the call center of my discontent who gets so goddamn angry during phone calls. He's hits the mute button and screams profanity, then goes back to the call, all sweet and polite. He also tends to pound his head against the desk throughout the entire call. He's actually bruised himself on a number of occasions. I must admit, he's loads of fun to watch. I do feel his pain, though. I thank the sweet jesus above every single day that idiocy isn't communicable.

from pumpkinhouse :

I hate sick too, hope you get well quickly.

from evolver :

(hmm, your gbook doesn't appear to be working, but apologies if you get a double post there plus this). Absolutely. It IS, in a lot of cases, more about belonging to the group than the sickness. I suppose that's the most disturbing thing about it. The elitism. The girls who say 'you're not as anorexic as i am,' or'you're not a real anorexic because...' No, totally, I agree, it's fucked up. But I don't think these girls don't have a serious problem -- I can't help but sympathise, while at the same time feeling disgusted. Reading some of their stories (which yes, might be exaggerated, might be 'oh poor me') I get the feeling that almost all of these girls have at least what they perceive to be shit home lives, people who constantly reinforce their assumption that they are fat &c &c. That age is tough for all people, most people can deal with it. Some can't, some turn to anorexia, and before the explosion of PRO sites, these girls felt even more isolated in their condition. I believe (in a sick, sick way) this is the only community these girls have, the only way they can feel understood. It's entirely destructive, I'm not saying there's a single good thing about this community, but it gives them something to cling to. They're less miserable because there are others, and they feel empowered. Some of them are hardcore and literally proactive, insisting anorexia is a lifestyle and even trying to recruit. Most of the sites I've seen though actually include medical definitions of anorexia and the real dangers of the disease -- they actually acknowledge they're suffering from a disease. But, in their distorted reasoning, they think it is better to put themselves in serious danger to be 'beautiful' and have this sense of community than to be healthy. Most of them I believe take a calculated risk. They're just so miserable they don't care if it kills them. Anyway, that's a long ramble, the truth is I agree with everything you said, except I feel Pro-ana is just a new way for girls to deal with an old problem. It's terrifying and destructive, and I in no way commend it, but it's a way to deal.

from tealeaf5 :

I must confess: I am (was??) an Oberlin girl. But I graduated in '87 so I couldn't have known your friend. Springtime in Ohio! How I envy you that right now.

from wench77 :

Hey, did you get your review from wft review who are "hear" to review you, at your request?? LOL! Well, forward and onward. Thanks for doing my gettinolder survey! Sorry, had to laugh at how your increase in "interpersonal effectiveness" makes you more of a bitch now. I was thinking of doing an entry on just that sort of thing. hehe. BTW happy birthday a day late! Yeah!! Hmm. I looked for a photo of you other than your profile... on your profile you don't look not worthy of boy attention, but what the heck. I did look at some of your "about me" page and it made me feel like *I* need to use my brain more in a concentrated goal-oriented manner, and work really hard at being successful. I think I let my brain rot. Oh well... back to the survey... >>>I totally laughed out loud about the "never dating boys over 30" and "I secretly thought I'd always be 21" Hehe. Don't we all!! I liked your answer to "do you act your age"... of course if we are 30, everything we do is "acting like a 30 yr old" hehe. Though some behaviours are more in line with a different age group. I use the same argument when people say I don't act or think or whatever, like a woman. I say "I am doing it, and I am a woman, therefore I am acting like a woman". hehe. About the teeth... a guy once said he could tell age by hands which never lie. He was over 10 years out on my age. hehe. Silly guy. Thanks for doing the survey! And I really should get back to your diary more often. You write and think well. Or at least in a manner that appeals to *me*!! :)

from wtf-reviews :

Hey! I'm just hear to promote our new review site. If you'd like a review just request! Thanks! :-)

from wench77 :

hmm, I don't know about the sealer. Maybe that makes it so it's ok to paint over. We just used to sell some stuff to put on statues that was kind of like that in the art supply store, and yeah, it has rust in it so it can bleed through. I would just do a trial on a board, and then like a day or two later, paint white latex over it , like two coats, and see a week later if it has bled through. Since it would be the water it would bleed into it should happen pretty much in 24 hours. Some things are ok to paint over and some arent. Like pretty much all textured things... sure you can "paint over it" but you will always see the texture through. hehe. Good to leave for the next inhabitant to deal with. GRIN!

from wench77 :

hey, thanks for putting me in your favorites (I read many more regularly than are written in my "favorites" ... I just thought the list was getting too long... I dunno)... but I don't get a comment? sniff sniff WHAAAAA!!!!!!! hehe see ya later! I'll come back and read ya tonight.

from wench77 :

hey, thanks for doing my bodymods survey! You give good rounded out answers. I like that. In question #6 (nonbody thing by someone you trusted) I meant things like "get them to cut my hair, give me a massage, do my toenails" ... The "i'd look like a beanbag" made me laugh out loud. I would too, but people wouldnt know that unless they saw pics of my female relatives. I also don't have much of a neck, as my mom relentlessly pointed out. "It makes my knees hurt" was a funky reply yeah. My question after this is why arent we reading each other's diaries? Gotta start yeah. bye!!

from jonnybox :

Hiya. Thanks for going to debate-it. That place has been quite quiet for, well, ever since I took it over!

from schmutzie :

You've updated! Keep it up. Norway sounds amazing, and I can't wait for your next installment.

from g1rly-g1rl :

thankyou for the intentionally motivational note :) it's appreciated.

from uberfrau :

Where are you? Why haven't you udpated? I thought you were back.

from devonny :

Dear Manchmal, I just had to ask: why sometimes?? Faulkner is lovely in his own disjointed way, isn't he? I just reread The Sound and the Fury, and it is simply delicious to read.

from enondoiel :

Hi! I just wanted to thank you for adding me to your favorites and your nice entry in my guestbook :) How did you like Norway? I hope you were lucky weather-wise, it's not always showing itself from its most flattering side... Nice diary!

from g1rly-g1rl :

hehe :) thankyou

from joleen :

Thanks for the kind wishes, and for digging something I wrote. Your opinion really means a lot to me, you know, seriously. I hope you're having a good day whatever you're up to. You and the Moose. Love, and peace.

from whiskeyblood :

Uh. I love you seems to be the only thing dripping out of my brain that is so tired form work that it drips like VD. So yeah. I love you. Like crabs.

from son-shade :

of course "!=" means "does not equal" but fuck extended ASCII charsets.

from son-shade :

I don't know which font you're talking about. The animated one is Palatino and Banker Gothic (customized) and the abusive ones are American Typewriter. The web page buttons are a font I built for a movie poster and that's about all the font's I use. Lots of fonts != good design.

from brideof7less :

Danke. Woher hast du Deutsch gelernt?

from central-red :

thank you miss!

from joleen :

Damn, signmyguestbook.com is so wonky lately. I didn't get email that you'd signed, so I just read what you wrote, after I wrote in your guestbook, then I got your note just now.... Treeproduction is a great idea. I like it. And I've always called pollen tree sperm, or since I had a boyfriend who was a landscape architect and taught me the names of all the trees and shrubs and more.

from whiskeyblood :

the new me

from g1rly-g1rl :

I like the inspiration from the pic being turned on its side :) very cool. And yes tree sperm makes you sneeze. People get hayfever cos the pollen's trying to mate with your nose :S

from pura-vida :

If I had a dollar for every insipid and mysoginistic banner/poem posted by Leslie Irene, I'd be very rich indeed. Has she ever considered donning a crown of stupidity? Oh, she's already wearing a crown of chrystals [sic]. Silly me! XOXOX

from gagfactor :

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *pant* *pant* *pant*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Will someone please stab her in the face?!?

from leslieirene :

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot! If that is your picture on your profile, you are totally GORGEOUS! Have you ever considered modeling? You should. You are so beautiful! xoxoxox, Leslie Irene :)

from leslieirene :

If I had a dollar for every two-bit numb-nut like you who obsesses over what I write and what I delete on MY diary, I'd be very rich indeed. Your opinion means nothing to me, and if I want to keep only nice things on my diaries, that is none of your concern. Start obsessing on someone else. Maybe you can't help yourself....

from bukowskiluv :

Emily you are my darling sweet emilyness friend. you make me proud to be an emily. someday i really will make it up to see you. maybe badru too? i love you and you are one of the people i miss like the rain.

from iranaden :

hallo. if you care: username: iran / password: acidic. cheers. --adrianne

from enchantrev :

Like getting reviewed? Come get reviewed at Enchanting Reviews

from ravieslave :

Nah, I don't want to give you a headache or anything. Until I can figure out a way to move things around peacefully for Macs and Netscape, I might just use my live-journal account as a mirror site. I don't want a pretty PC/IE layout kept if it's going to ocularly slaughter a few of my readers. I'll figure something out. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

from ravieslave :

Does it look like: http://pages.sbcglobal.net/ravieslave/i_hate_myself.jpg question mark? Yes, I'm utterly aware I'm being obsessive.

from ravieslave :

I'm depressed, now. What doesn't it look like? *le sigh*

from i-am-jack :

;^}' I am glad that you liked what you read, even if there is too much to catch up on. I have been meaning to at least archive my entries or something, but I just never find the motivation to. As for the guy who thought he was Tyler, I can see how that would get creepy fast. Still he must have been an interesting person to know.

from testpatterns :

yeah...i see "porcelain princess" and i immeadiately think of toilets. --adrianne

from gagfactor :

Seeing as signmyguestbook.com is sitting on the proverbial crapper right now I'll just leave you a note to say that I can't believe how funny your current entry is. I wonder if there is a diary-ring fighting the blonde lupus banner whore. It would be one thing if she were at least interesting or capable of writing. But with her christian sentimentality, the tackiness of her website, and those fucking CHIMES that go off ever time you click on a link.....shit, it's enough to make you crazy! Like Eminem crazy. Like BLAM BLAM you're DEAD crazy. Not that I'd know what that's like or anything. *ahem*

from apathee :

thank you. -a

from raven72d :

I just discovered your diary... Intelligent, thoughtful, witty... I'll be reading here again.

from gagfactor :

Try now. My HTML skills are lacklustre at best...it's all part of the charm that makes me retarded. BTW, your guestbook said that I can't sign again "this soon." I haven't signed your guestbook in about a week (I know I know...what a cunt, right?) so it's all jacked and mean. I hate it! *lick*

from sufferours :

hello from fellow fucking ohioan...you kick ass.

from meeyapede :

Yeah- in the perceptions/s ad on clix it says "my name is eric anthony I take blahblah medications" Grrr. "I'm a nut and my girlfriend is skinny! Whee! Look at me!" Ok- see, this is why I should keep my yapper shut.

from meeyapede :

Looking over yr profile again, I must disagree- not *everyone* likes eric anthony. I actually loathe that diary, and see its popularity as proof that skim milk rises to the top.

from pumpkinfish :

"how it might have gone" is fucking beautiful. i printed it out & taped it to my wall. <3

from nutmegoli :

Hi, it's Megin. Megin Says is officially defunct but my new diary is up and running (though there's not a lot here at the moment). Feel free to have a read, leave a note, sign the guestbook...

from liquidhuman :

Congratulations! Your survey score is a 10. Bonus points for #10!

from ravieslave :

I cannot, for the life of me. It's in Story magazine, though. It's a _short_ story. When I find myself situated in the new place, I'll open up all of my boxes of books and magazines.

from diaryreviews :

review is up at http://diaryreviews.diaryland.com/manchmal.html

from xo-liesl :

Yeah, they hurt. Its true. But the after effects are minimally painful, meaning that you feel like you've got bad cramps for about 24 hours afterwards. Its the 10 minutes of agony getting it put in that causes me pause for getting another one. And by "another one" that is to say that 4 days after I experience agony beyond recognition, my IUD slipped partly out and I had to experience agony beyond recognition again when they had to pull it the rest of the way from my poor little cervix. but I feel you on pill effects. Man I'm tired to morning sickness without the benefit of a cute tummy or a boyfriend. haha

from pumpkinfish :

i suppose that makes me evil then. and i wish i could say, "at least i'm happy though." but that would be a damn lie. so i'm not sure exactly why i expect to be loved but am unwilling to love in return. just one more thing to think about, i guess.

from gagfactor :

The Sweet Hereafter is a movie that I OBSESSED over for the longest time and then forgot to see when it finally came out. OOPS. Thank you for reminding me. Amazingly enough I put my reputation on the line by recommending the Solaris remake w/ George Clooney. The same understated beauty. I almost swore Ang Lee directed it but then I remembered that he's moved into cancerous filth like The Hulk. BLAH.

from pumpkinfish :

i find this so extremely interesting... what a captivating concept it is to create your own world...

from connie-cobb :

You're an interesting bird - did you know that? Anyway, I'm sorry to admit that I am a recent Jehovah's Witness in the land of smoking - I quit almost 4 years ago, and I hate cigarettes more than Tammy Faye likes religious sex. I think it comes with the territory or something. But I'll try to be better in the future! Je promis!

from open-book :

oh, good to know! perhaps i will put off paying them another week or two, at least. ;)

from pumpkinfish :

it makes me cringe, too. i despise intimacy & romance because i know it isn't real or won't always be real. i like happiness & acceptance & this is more than enough to keep me content. i don't need promises because they feel like obligations & i always resent being obligated, or worse, being an obligation. so i'll postpone the relationships & i-love-yous & passionless dependency until i forget how to not succumb to their lure & pretty promises.

from liquidhuman :

The Bachelor is so trashy, but soooo good (I use "good" loosely), and soooo addictive. Good God! Tina Fabulous was the best. She could dress for any occasion. I'll miss her. *sigh*

from omzhaara :

THANK YOU for that... This weekend I'm planning on spending some me time sipping something hot and caffeinated in a bookstore, and just being ALONE for awhile... I think I'll look for that book; I know I can't be the only one who has these thoughts :) Thank you for that.

from omorfia :

and all these photos on your pages - ohmi! they are wonderful!

from pumpkinfish :

i have a to-do list quite similar to yours... fall in love, read more (esp. faulkner), write more (poetry). and i'm having a passionate love affair with all the photos. <3

from clauren :

Thanks for taking addict2sims survey. I do hope you become part of the diaryring. Cheat codes are in many different sims sites. I only use the money one. By the way, your diary is cool especially your beautiful black and white photography (in the last two entries) I do hope you add them to your daily entries. It is def a gift that should not be waste.

from ravieslave :

Happy Birthday. Eyes Wide Shut is a fucking astounding movie. I thought Kubrick did a helluva job with it. I saw it in the theater; when it was over, everyone left, shaking their heads with disgust, and I grinned, looked at them, and said, "That movie was pure brilliance."

from bonkersquipy :

welcome to the nabokov diaryring...and thanks for joining...

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