messages to mcearstix:
(click here to add new message):

from chloroplast :
i can't say how many ways your blog has changed me throughout the years. i started reading when i was thirteen, and i just realized today that i'm the same age you were when you wrote your first entry. your music, your words, your pictures, your travels. i can only listen to ice cream creatures when i'm at my tenderest. i want you to know that you made a difference in people's lives, and that even if you never come back and we never hear from you again - what you've left behind is something special, something real. thank you.
from raven72d :
You really are missed.
from raven72d :
Come back--- you are vur' much missed.
from dinahsoar :
Wherever are you?
from aesthetica87 :
come back.
from acornotravez :
Are you still around? I miss you, I really do -Acorn
from aesthetica87 :
spring cleaning sometime last week and inside this banana box i could see something shiny.. something pink.. something fury.. i rubbed it up against my face.. your cd.. was lost for awhile .. but now shes found.. i softly brush the feathers horizontally against my dry lips and i slowly start to sway to the music in the shade on a nice patch of grass... postcard backdrops of the ocean and the trees.. my bones start rocking ....and my veins start pumping ....and my head is boping ....and my skin is crawling... and my are ears oozing with love.... your music rocks my socks baby.... where are you?? .. i miss you..
from mrbochenkels :
i really miss your diary and your writing. funny, having never met you before. still, i read and reread the stuff you've left behind. i don't know if you check this anymore or even still write but if you do, please never stop. you've got talent out the ears.
from raven72d :
Update soon!
from asthenia-- :
i heard someone talking about your band at school the other day. i felt happy for you.
from raven72d :
If ever you're in the Deepest South-- if the vile, unhuman Andaman Islanders don't carry you away --give me a call. We'll drink and exchange stories.
from raven72d :
You look utterly cute with that small turtle.
from tsagaan :
Hello, I'm !!--A Fan--!! <3 XOXO <3 I'll be near Madurai for the next five months. If you're still in India and the area, email me at madelynlee@gmail.com and we can go talk Dostoevsky and Fairies over tea, or climb a tree or something. If not, oh well!
from betholindo :
Rad photos. Spooky dress. חג מולד שמח ושנה טובה
from in--denial :
do you even know how beautiful you are?
from dinahsoar :
Wherever I go is actually the last place I'm likely to be.
from mehiel :
You are just a unique person, Christian. I just don't know anyone else like you. Really. There are a lot of well-traveled kids out there. There are a lot of orphans. There are a lot of well-read people. But you're all of that, and more. So what if you've got some shit to figure out. You're trying. In your roundabout, round-the-world way, you're trying. What you're looking for is inside you, but you might have to make yourself a stranger in a strange land before you find it. I know you have a deep capacity to love, and a raw, tender sense of compassion. You're bleeding love out through the hole in your heart. Someday, somewhere, you'll find a reservoir for that feeling--someone, something, someplace that's worthy of it. Then when you've combined your boundless love with something that takes your poetical fancy, your creative mind, you'll be able to do a kind of magic. But if you don't want to come down just yet, then don't. Your family and your friends will be waiting for you down here, after you've flown so high the sun has burned off your waxen wings, and you have metamorphosed.
from tsagaan :
Maybe you should become a nurse and work in developing countries after your training. It would help give travel a point, and you might feel better too (whatdya know!)
from acornotravez :
happy new year - I love you!
from shoreline-- :
What you wrote about King Kong, I share that feeling with you. Hope you have a good new year. Take care, xoxo
from o-jasmine-o :
I would love to play with you. Franck. Beethoven. Bach. Tchaikovsky. Or random notes. When you're next in Holland, you should come and stay with me.
from lettynow :
Okay I;ve been readin you for a year or more, I know nothing about you except that you travel. Are you a student are you on missionary work? I know you have a lot of brothers and sisters and one lived with you, well where are they now? Who are you? I'm not trying to be nosy but I can't help it. I like reading about your adventures, but the back story would be fun. THis is not a put down at all or I wouldn't read you. I'm not one of those people, I don't read diary that I don't like. Basically curiosity had finally gotten the best of me.
from mehiel :
Happy New Year from Toronto. I hope it's warmer where you are. (Doubtless, it is.) I think you should read "In the Land of Pain" by Alphonse Daudet. I think you might like it.
from acornotravez :
Did the monkey open the Coke and drink it?
from raven72d :
Enjoy Malaysia...!
from natinski :
Hope you'll have a wonderful time in Malaysia! Merry Christmas.
from raven72d :
Joyeux Noel, Ms. Christian!
from wildrosie :
So I'm telling Zeb last night about where I will be staying when I go to India to buy some things. "I'll stay at the Taj Majal Hotel, right next to the Gateway to India" I calmly told him, soothing his fears about my safety while I am there. And I told him my story about going to Elephanta Isle and the vile monkeys... and there, today, you echoed my words with your photographs. Thank You! ~Rosie~
from breadfruit :
you and your worldy pursuits and your god stories and your elephant rides and goat nails jewelry. reading a book about your heart chakra and sandalled in thailand, wearing layers of red and pink and gold fabric and a painted bindi on our forehead, like you were a part of something important and ethnic, not just some washed-out, cocaine-eyed, sloppy-mouthed orphan from some privileged, spoiled city. blonde and sunburnt, squinting at the sun with your teeth like a fence gone crooked from rain. what's so special about you and your drugged solace, your forced poetry?
from candoor :
amazing decadence, wistful afluence, cursed awareness, and emotions get in the way... life sucks and then you die?... I dunno, maybe you are right (but that means I am right too and whatever would I do with my self doubts if THAT happens?)... create, recreate, and when is your audition?... was it?... feed me... love and information in equal measure... sometimes just one, then balance, then fall, then get up and do it all over again... can I adopt you someday?
from wistfulbat :
Hey, I found you through an ad on here. I was intruiged, and I've been reading this since April or so. I've lived in Austin all my life. Also, I like Ice Cream Creatures. I just wanted to tell you that your life is beautiful.
from vocalfern :
how can you afford to travel all of the time? where are your brothers and sisters?
from betholindo :
The U.S. isn't all terrible. After all, it did produce you.
from mehiel :
Christian (oh, how burdensome that name must be on days like this), meeting you I was struck by how many things separated us. Your life experiences have been so different from mine. I'm an only child. I have my parents. I'm not nearly so well-read as you, nor can I sing, nor am I so comfortable expressing myself with such vulnerability. But when I read you, just letting the words bleed out as yourself with no barriers, I find we have so much in common--for I have felt just the same way. So, from me to you: I understand.
from dinahsoar :
I love your amazing diary! So artistic, provocative & poetic! I wanted you to know, though, that there are Christians (I'm one) who throb with the endless, lavish possibilities provided by Yahweh, a God so wild and ecstatically effulgent that he dreamed up that elephant of yours!
from mehiel :
HEART.
from mehiel :
Oh, I do love it when you quote Trent Reznor. :) Who is the other person with the same tattoos as you? Is it Sam?
from asthenia-- :
you are so fascinating that it hurts sometimes. i mean that in a good way.
from mehiel :
If you meet someone my age in India named Ryan McEntee, tell me. The coincidence would be just too much.
from raven72d :
Vur' kissable tummy. And Hamilton seems like a most pettable puppy.
from wombaby :
You are going to Singapore. I'm jealous. Enjoy every moment of my beautiful ex-country.
from mehiel :
Oh, that sounds lovely. Let's. You wouldn't happen to be in Toronto over Christmas, would you? Or in NYC just before? Anyway, thank you for the note. :) It was just what I needed.
from dinahsoar :
I've been enjoying your diary for a long time. I'm not very computer savvy, but are the pictures deleted? All I'm getting are little "x's" in boxes. Is there I way I can access them. I am really touched by your photos.
from mehiel :
We have re-named the cat Bauhaus. (You and I had coffee, there.) And you're right, I did lock the diary--and completely forgot to give you the username and password. They are: reader. I apologize! I was just thinking about you tonight, and hoping you were doing well. I know things have been awful lately, and I hope they get better. I want you to enjoy your time in India. Savor it before Juilliard and other commitments, because you might not be this independent again for quite some time. You're a free spirit and a genius, so use your powers to their fullest and impress us all.
from raven72d :
Bite-Bite is a cool elephant name. But your photos aren't opening!
from crazyblueyes :
i like your diary... may i add you to my list?
from asthenia-- :
i really do enjoy the fact that you intend to "adopt" an elephant and call him bite-bite. that's snazzy.
from raven72d :
Your photos (22 Nov.) aren't opening!
from raven72d :
The drawings of the little robot submarine puppy are excellent. And I like the self-portrait of you in the charcoal-gray outfit.
from raven72d :
The Singles World t-shirt is...vur' hot on you.
from angrybuddha :
I read your "pretentious piece of shit" post, and found it interesting and enlightening. You have a beautiful way with words. Your thoughts on India really resonated with me and made me think of my time in China. I miss being out there and experiencing the world outside myself.
from mrbochenkels :
maslow, i'm impressed
from mehiel :
I do indeed have hips. Thank you. :) I wish I could show you some photos of little Nimue, our new cat. I want to see your new place. And good for you, for getting Sam out of the States.
from mehiel :
You're safe and sound and lovely as usual. So glad.
from theview :
ew, i dont even KNOW you
from xmemorylanex :
funnnnnn
from raven72d :
I'm so glad you're back! What will you be doing in Paris? Be careful with hydrocodone...
from mrbochenkels :
YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!! i am glad
from hairplay :
I'm glad you're safe. Very very sorry about your pets though. I hope you start feeling better soon.
from mehiel :
I am so glad to hear from you! I was actually starting to seriously wonder and worry--all manner of Fate's nasties might have done away with you. I am sorry to hear of your pets. Robert and I just rescued a black cat, and are attempting to name her. So far Sputnik tops the list. I'm glad you're okay.
from the-moo :
where did you go? xxx
from raven72d :
Campari and orange juice? Yum!
from mehiel :
Hey, are you slowly wending your way back to us? I'm glad you survived the monsoons. Thank goodness.
from candoor :
boiling water before drinking? (can't very well boil alcohol, aye?)... stay safe and know you are missed while your wandering :)
from raven72d :
There in Hindoostan-- beware the Gonds, the Bhils, and the evil Andaman Islanders!
from wildrosie :
Hope you like India, I had mixed feelings, but I'll be back there again some time this year. Mumbai, Cochin, Goa...but I really want to go to Jabelpur, and Rajasthan...and I have to take Kaj to see the Taj Majal. Imagine how much he loved her! Enjoy your time there darlin'! ~Rosie~
from mehiel :
Hey lady, I've locked my diary. The password is "reader." Use your own username.
from theview :
you make me want to smoke cigarettes.
from raven72d :
In Hindoostan? What will you do? How long will you be there?
from vina-apsara :
You live the dream life for someone with wanderlust. I so envy you. May I ask what it is that you do?
from raven72d :
Aren't you ever afraid that giant murals of Marilyn Monroe will begin to talk to you...
from raven72d :
I believe it was Kramer on Seinfeld who pointed out that we all secretly want to look like pirates.
from brucegirl :
I don't think I've told you how much I love your pictures. They're awesome! And I added you to my buddy list... :-)
from malthus :
Those eyes are too beautiful to close now...
from waspman :
I know things get tough, but it does get better. Trust me. Sending you good wishes...
from dinahsoar :
I don't know you. I don't presume to understand you. But I do empathize.
from wishiwasout :
Wanted to leave a note. And say that I'm reading... And I <3 you? I'm not a stalker...I promise. ::points to halo::
from wishiwasout :
Wanted to leave a note. And say that I'm reading... And I <3 you? I'm not a stalker...I promise. ::points to halo::
from shine434 :
I added you to my buddy list. I hope you don't mind. I like your diary.
from mehiel :
Hey lady--no giving up now; you've got an appointment in India. Are you still planning on diarizing (word?) from your new locale? Or must we go on pilgrimage to receive an update?
from asthenia-- :
from what i have read, you sound lovely. also, i'm jealous because of how much you travel. <3
from wildrosie :
Ahhh, lovely girl with the blue eyes and face so like my daughter's...this too shall pass, and one day be only a memory. Meanwhile, love yourself and others for who and what you are, not the image that others would have you be...and know that you too are loved.
from fridayfilms :
Agreed.
from inacrumbling :
no goodbyes, my dear. i'm familiar with just how well the clouds can cover, but let the world rip itself apart. the sun is under there somewhere.
from vertfeerique :
Beautiful woman, beautiful siblings, beautiful writing and photos. I clicked the banner to distract me from the servers being to busy to add an entry, and ended up staying for much longer. Really lovely.
from mrbochenkels :
next time it's 4 am and you're sad drop me a line. aim: hazleweather "i prefer the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when it's more bare, more hollow. then i can breathe, and can think while others are sleeping, in a way can stop time, can have it so -- this has always been my dream -- so that while everyone else is frozen, i can work busily about them, doing whatever it is that needs to be done, like the elves who make the shoes while children sleep." -eggers
from hissandtell :
Squawk back at you, darling! Hey, thank you so much for your lovely note at my place the other day. Yes, every time I see your superb banner, I'm temporarily confused (okay, fine; to be truthful I'm confused almost all the time anyway) that it's mine. (Well, the parrots-bit, anyway.) I'm looking forward to reading more of your wonderful diary. Love, R xxx
from writergrrl88 :
oh, dear absinthe ... if you don't care for the taste, get it in "shooter strength" and do shots rather than using water and sugar ... it doesn't change the effect, but it does lessen the taste greatly
from raven72d :
Absinthe... It needs (of course) ice water and to be poured over a sugar cube... What brand are you using?
from nessiegurlie :
nice site. have a good summer--ness
from mrbochenkels :
holy crap there are a lot of messages on here. you're interesting, just thought you should know. in case you're curious: username and password: mcearstix
from mehiel :
I just wanted to say that "Ada" was an absolute delight. Thank you.
from raven72d :
Jail? Well, if you're ever in Louisiana when you get arrested, you can call me... But--in any case: how did it happen?
from humanspirit :
I was browsing through diaries, and came upon yours. Just a note to say hello.
from serapay :
ah, suck. jail. had we known, barfly and i coulda staged a clinker coup.
from kstarr :
how're you going so many places?
from elyssina :
Hello. I find you interesting, and I think it's funny that you think it's funny to read teenage girl's diaries. Mostly, quite honestly, because I think it's funny to read them as well. I have become so humored with them I created a fake xanga, complete with bad poetry and over-the-top antics (xanga.com/x0_tearsofblood_0x). I think you will enjoy it, though you should probably start at the beginning to understand it all. The username and password to my diary is something and corporate. I hope you have a wonderful day.
from coldandgray :
I KNEW you were in Seattle. You make my heart ache.
from vina-apsara :
I don't know why I forgot to add you to my favourites list when I switched to a different username. Reading your diary today reminded me why I became a fan of yours and now you're back on the list. I so envy the fact that you get to travel a lot and visit beautiful places, and I am in awe of your evocative writing. Cheers!
from f-i-n :
i had fun reading...
from tarynheart :
i promise, not all teenage girls suck so much. some of us actually have interesting things to think about. and we don't need anger management.
from raven72d :
Whale watching! I so envy you!
from the-clan :
JACK: Exclamation points?! JACK LIKES EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!! YANG: Uh, yeah. He saw your banner. NINJA: Good luck gettin' him off yer back now. SVL: Dude, don't scare her! *Clan shuffles off*
from hairplay :
I want to go to Vancouver and watch whales! That is so very awesome, I've always wanted to do that... Yes, take many pictures, please. <3
from m-antoinette :
i think your writing is beautiful. fluid. calm. and i love your pictures!! what kind of camera do you use? i'm an avid photographer.
from vocalfern :
i see you found a secret.
from mehiel :
I tried emailing; I hope it went through. I nominate a drink at the Rosebud, and perhaps grilled salmon sandwiches at the Market Grill while we watch the ferries come in. But, if nothing else, you must must must have coffee with me at Bauhaus. What does your Tuesday look like?
from sheisdancing :
did your lip swell up and turn all blackish-bruised on the inside? mine did. for a week or more. i do like yours.
from d1gg3r :
I hope you don't mind, but I randomally camr across your diary and I find ti quite interesting, and I'd like to continue reading it in the future. Hope you don't mind. ^__^;
from dinahsoar :
I hope you receive this in the spirit intended and not as an unwelcome intrusion, but I just read your very poignant short piece about your grandmother and I thought that maybe some of my entries might fill in some blanks. I guess it's kind of audacious, because of course I don't know her, but I, too, have been married a few times and don't have much use for vegetables (although I hold no grudge against vegetarians). My life has turned out so differently than I would ever have thought. My parents were married 61 years and set only an example of comittment and devotion. Still, the culture of my times (and maybe your grandmother's) promoted an altogether different model. So ... just an invitation. I find you an extremely gifted writer and enjoy your photographs as well (it seems that Pushkin always reflects the mood you are describing for the day - he is very in tune with you).
from dragprincess :
i have spent the past 8 hours (up at 4 am, too hot to sleep in nyc) reading your diary from start to finish. i want to say it's the best thing i've read in a long time, but i don't think that's right -- i think i need to say that i haven't read anything that's caused so much emotion in forever. i'm in for the ride now.
from raven72d :
The statues! What are they of? Where are they at?
from angrybuddha :
no, amnesiac is better...
from raven72d :
Yay, little Punchy! Dallas? Hawaii? India? Are you sure you're not an international hitwoman for Dr. Fu Manchu and the mysterious Si-Fan?
from mehiel :
How I wish you had stopped in Seattle on your whirlwind tour. How's it all going to end?
from raven72d :
Hunter Thompson would've known about blood heroin. Isn't it processed using extract of human pineal gland? Hmmm...Sam seems very inventive and scientific.
from raven72d :
Interesting books... And out there in the antediluvian seas are small trilobites who will hum sweetly to you. One is never alone so long as there are trilobites.
from dinahsoar :
Just stumbled into your world. Heartbreakingly compelling. I couldn't stop clicking.
from ceciliaruns :
it's the sticky scary insides of your brain that i love to see. thank god you've denied us the mundane lists.
from coldandgray :
I like the newer banner with cream puffs or whatnot
from ceciliaruns :
and those who can't quite function in society at large are going to wake up on this morning and find that they're in charge while those the world's set up for who are really doing quite well going to wake up in institutions in prison or in hell ~andrew bird
from raven72d :
Don't leave D-Land!
from lead-balloon :
why have you locked?
from breezip :
You were one of my favorite reads. Hope you're doing well, and hopin' maybe you'll go public again at some point. Much love from the semi-anonymous blogosphere. --Bree
from raven72d :
Robot is a good name for a kitten. Red wine? A merlot? A burgundy? Discretion...? No-- just be...well, a storyteller. Thoughts, adventures, dreams...
from lookin4liz :
I've been a faithful reader for the last 2 years or so, and ironically I've never written you. I've wanted too many times, but it just didn't seem appropriate. I was thinking of you the other day, and thinking, "I really need to catch up and see how the family is doing," because in that *wierd* journaling way, I feel like I know you and all your siblings. I'm sure you've gone away for a good reason, so I just send my thoughts your way. I could give you some silly metaphor about things looking up, but the truth is that you'd probably write it better than me. You'll be missed... Always, LizBeth (charliegurl_2000@yahoo.com)
from no-map :
aaaw you've locked! I hope that everything is ok for all they're worth I am offering you internet hugs and just letting you know that you have my support because you're a truly unique and amazing human being!! (also if it's not too prying I would be utterly thankful to have your password.. info@mandymoo.com) xxx
from raven72d :
as a long-time faithful reader...may i have a password?
from writergrrl88 :
been reading you for a long time, and was wondering if i could have your password. hope you're okay. best wishes always to you and yours, ~lita~ (my e-mail addy is writergrrl88@yahoo.com)
from rockyraven :
Hey, can I please have access to your diary because I love it so? Really, you are a most interesting writer.
from raven72d :
Hmmmm... How drunk *can* you get in fifteen minutes?
from raven72d :
What will you do in NYC?
from raven72d :
Great headdress!
from raven72d :
I hope you and Sam are both okay.
from complexlust :
happy belated, and i send my prayers
from oladybug0 :
I'm really sorry.
from hairplay :
Happy birthday! <3
from acornotravez :
Happy b'day, Love.
from raven72d :
Happy 22, Christian! And you, girl, are *never* boring!
from serapay :
Burst, rap; parts rub. Dumb mobs bomb mud. i wish i were a palindrome...
from raven72d :
Please tell me that the "something happens" isn't either an apparition of the Virgin Mary or voices speaking in Estonian...
from waeneldawen :
I thought I should let you know I had a dream about you last night. You lived in a bedroom with three other people, and you were crying because your 19 year old dog had died. I stroked your hair atop squeaky mattress springs saying how sorry I was. The dog was lying next to us.
from portia12 :
Thinking of you Christian. Hugs
from raven72d :
Soft and silky... From a high place?
from betholindo :
I really like that your name turns up in red on my buddy list all the time now. I really like reading your words.
from evildilara :
ahhhh! I thought you were gone forever. By chance, I checked to see if you were still updating and it looks like you're back. Japan was awesome.
from raven72d :
A polka-dot hobo kerchief and the lucky horseshoe... I love that!
from coldandgray :
So glad to read you again.
from raven72d :
I will have to come to Austin and plead with you to turn your entries into a book...
from iglooo :
<3
from mehiel :
Your photos and words on Japan have only increased my desire to visit. :) Thanks for being such an inspiring traveler!
from raven72d :
Ah, yes: you were the one who taught me that dxm was good.
from raven72d :
The last two entries have been utter delights...
from complexlust :
you are so awesome. yes, that is random, after reading a couple entries and thats all i can come up with. :)
from green-tea :
hi
from in--denial :
you are so beautiful. don't ever stop writting. even if it's something that we'll never see.
from coldandgray :
mind-staggering
from oladybug0 :
You are really lovely. It's nice to know that there are still people who feel the world deeply.
from raven72d :
Incredible entry and photos!
from raven72d :
I love the hair colour...
from femalevolent :
glad to have you back, more or less, doing well, more or less. have a great trip to japan
from raven72d :
Only the one picture-- you singing --shows up. Still-- 'tis lovely. And I agree with CeciliaRuns: write a book, girl!!
from ceciliaruns :
you are the adventure i never seem to experience or allow myself or to be allowed by fate or finances or fear. and in there too the tragedy that's so much more tangible than anything i could excuse my own insanity by. you ought to write a book mcearstix. i'd scramble to read it like i do to read your entries.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're back...and alive. And I hope Japan goes well for you... In Prague-- did you go to the Trilobite Bar?
from o-jasmine-o :
How the **** do you get to travel so much (and far)?
from galaxy :
DEAR GOD WOMAN WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?
from writergrrl88 :
you seem to be rather missing, and i hope you're okay. :)
from raven72d :
Are you posting hidden entries again?
from amanda-anne :
where you? xo
from raven72d :
We all do miss you... I hope you're okay...
from candoor :
really do miss your words... hope you are ok :)
from candora :
ok, you have another year to get even better and enjoy life even more (I hope)... ice cream creatures belong in Florida in the winter :)
from galaxy :
Fluh.
from hairplay :
You live in Austin? TX? My sister goes to UT and I visit there all the time. I've listened to some of your songs, I like you guys a lot. Very good. Do you play in Austin often?
from raisinet :
my fella (etc) game me an ice cream creatures CD, yet somehow neglected to mention that it was you. i believe you ought to know that i think it's ultra.
from betholindo :
Abra los ojos. Where are you?
from ceciliaruns :
that's the most sickeningly unfair pile of bullshit i've ever heard. i'm so sorry little violin.
from go-thing :
*points down* Me too.
from acornotravez :
I love you
from candoor :
as I dream of traveling again, I wonder... maybe you just don't have the right travel companions... you are missed...
from femalevolent :
India! How on earth do you afford all this travelling?.. I'm sickeningly jealous.
from betholindo :
Why are you doing this to yourself? ("This" = travel that isn't fun or enlightening or that makes you want to do anything except get away from your Getaway.)
from raven72d :
India! Please please do send me a postcard!
from loser8720 :
laughy taffy and good wishes
from raven72d :
A Rikchik! What you saw in your hallucination-- and what your sketch shows --is a Rikchik. They're quite cool...and fun. Google "Rikchik" and find out all about them at their website.
from raven72d :
Serious good luck at Juilliard, Christian!
from femalevolent :
That story with the cheerios just kills me. Some people do have odd family traditions when it comes to food though, you never know. My dad has this thing where he likes pouring fruit juice on porridge. I like my cornflakes with berry juice. Ayup..
from raven72d :
I miss Winston Churchill's parrot.
from threeletters :
Hello. I love your entry of today, 11.09.04. Thanks.
from raven72d :
You do look lovely in the glasses...
from betholindo :
Don't worry too much about the line of "insanity." It's blurred and beautiful and ever-undulating. Madness is just something people use to categorize and compartmentalize and define and therefore own and feel comfortable around others. I'm not so sure you belong at that place, though. Maybe only as a counselor, an observer, an anthropologist.
from raven72d :
You must tell us the bounced check incident story.
from scar-r-ed :
i added you ages ago cos your diary's well written - and you come across as on top of things, but then i read your last but one entry - and i know what you mean, i so often see no point in living, but i think there is a point - a different point for everybody, but a point. it just takes a long time to find sometimes. and grief is a messy emotion to deal with; you seem to cope just fine with your parents not being around but maybe that is just a mask you wear.
from akg07 :
...still reading!<3
from bootybrown :
Is this the comments system you refferd to?
from in--denial :
i admire you
from whatlight :
oops, you did write. i just didn't see it on my buddy list. i'm glad you're ok.
from whatlight :
why u no write? (said jokingly, but actually wondering at the same time)
from raven72d :
I often ask myself if living inside self-scripted film scenes might be the same as hallucinating...
from loser8720 :
i think you're neat
from mehiel :
You and your sisters are all so beautiful. I think the fact that you can still hang out and talk with them somewhat normally despite the crowd of events that might otherwise get in the way is something special.
from emperorincxt :
i hope your show went well :)
from raven72d :
Ummm, are you afraid of marmosets?
from raven72d :
I'm doing much better at tying scarves.
from etc :
The CD is excellent!
from banefulvenus :
LOVE YOUR SITE!!
from raven72d :
Oh, Nosferatu seems most fluffy and pettable.
from dark-doll :
Oh woah I'm totally in love with your haircut girl! It rocks so much!
from rockyraven :
punchy died? why? what happened?
from stardustcboy :
aah, my wild pixie! i'm so glad you're back! your words are as an opiate, softly lifting me to far places beyond time, outside myself. gorgeous! how i've missed it! wishing you the best always...i'm reading you. ~B-)
from emperorincxt :
glad you werent gone for good :)
from pixiebbph :
oooo, read your latest entry. I've been down that path where kindness have been taken advantage of. I was sitting in a cafe when a buddhist monk came up to me and handed me a charm. I thought he was being kind and wanted to bless me or something. Then he asked for a donation. I thought, hey, that's fine, a couple of bucks can do even though i was broke. He wanted $20 and insisted on having the 20. i told him i only have 10 and the rest was for my meal which was true....
from ceciliaruns :
so you get me completely hooked on your journal and then you stop writing? i can't handle the rejection...please write...mcearstix...can you hear me...just give us another chance...we can work it out.
from raven72d :
Oh, do update! Wuff!
from betholindo :
I hope you're writing, even if you keep the entries private.
from writergrrl88 :
clearly, your life has not been a bundle of roses. yet somehow you manage to keep swimming in a rose-coloured pool where you can beat down the monsters with the ores of your rowboat - and i can't help but admire you. ~lita~
from pernickety :
Yea..aren't words so simple and usual, but to think into it, they're so complex and foreign, almost physical. Just as thoughts are..which are words..and words which are thoughts..hmmm your entry set me in this philosophical mood~
from hamiltonian :
I like the way you see things...
from angel-debris :
good looks will always open doors for people
from candoor :
and it still makes sense to me (which is oddly, or perhaps eerily, comforting)...
from betholindo :
Your hair looks HOT---
from bledgirlblue :
I love your eloquent writing. I don't know if I used that word correctly, or if it is spelled right, but it seemed fitting to describe you.
from coldandgray :
Love I.C.C.. Very lovely, beautiful, dreamy, of course.
from whatlight :
i love your band's song "sweet eleanor"-- really beautiful. was wondering if i could buy a copy of yr album when it comes out? overmilkwood@yahoo.com
from fallen-elf :
dude I love your hair! that's great. hahaha
from morbidhippie :
mmm you are just so very lovely aren't you, i adore reading your diary more and more it seems..the book my love, where is the book? or is it there and i missed it? and the hair is lovely, it reminds me of toothpaste (thats not a bad thing) with glitter in it in these special tubes with pictures of the simpsons on it..oh yes, because you wanted to know...mwah, lovely, lovely..xo
from neshachan :
Your new blue hair is supercute and minty.
from super-suzan :
I've had blue hair and trust me, your life is only going to get better from now on. Mine turned green after a week and then stained it that way until it grew out. Last time I let my dad do it for me but it was still awesome.
from drunklazy :
Yr hair is green!
from sanetwin :
Lovely blue hair. Lovely.
from raven72d :
If I could ask one question about the Chamonix photo...or any of the Euro photos... How *do* you tie your scarf? I can never get a scarf like that...
from raven72d :
A strange late-afternoon dream: I was renting a room from you, but somehow your house was actually possessed of rooms that became buildings from New Haven-- the Anglican chapel at Old Campus, the Hall of Graduate Studies...
from oliana :
Not sure what I was expecting. I've heard bands advertised on diaryland before and I was not impressed. All I can think of to say is "Wow" and in a good way. I WANT ONE
from amanda-anne :
wow.. i just clicked on your banner and had a little look through your diary.. and wow girl.. you are soooooooo beautiful!! mwah! xoxox
from raven72d :
Yay, Ice Cream Creatures! Yay, Papergoose! Yay, great songs!
from stardustcboy :
chesskerspoppoly! brilliant! i love games...i'm reading you! ~B-)
from dalyrical1 :
so it WAS you with the lovely note in my guestbook!! sorry it took so long to respond, but i didn't find it until a few days ago, at which time i left an entry in my blog thanking you. thank you so much for your words...it really, REALLY meant a lot to me. you are beautiful!!
from missingteeth :
i don't usually read diaries of people i don't know but yours really drew me in. i love the way you recall memories. thank you for writing.
from tashbert :
hiya. You keep an addictive diary. I really like reading it =)
from coldandgray :
More reasons not to smoke
from candoor :
and where was your handy digital camera that time, huh? (I suppose we'd say it was tastefully somewhere else)... hope you feel good the rest of the night :)
from fridayfilms :
One of my greatest fears is inappropriate spontanious vomiting. It sounds like you had a safe environment in which to engage this uncontrollable activity.
from raven72d :
And I thought *male* puberty ("pubb-er-tee") was humiliating...
from super-suzan :
I cried the first time I had to wear a bra too. That was a great story.
from samantha :
you have no idea how happy your journal makes me. woo!
from oliana :
jesus. I hated puberty.
from hairplay :
oh, p.s.) I adore the way you dress. It's great.
from hairplay :
ok, on your entry entitled "quickness and agility", that is galaxyrabbit, isn't it? I know it is. That's weird, because I clicked her banner, and long later I clicked yours... It's not like I found yours in her profile or anything, it was random. Hm. It's a small world... Or a small diaryland. Do you know her personaly, or is it just an internet thing? Sorry if I'm being nosey.
from raven72d :
I'm majorly looking forward to reading the book tomorrow... Now: if ever you're in Austin and run across the balding and prognathously-jawed Mister Taylor, heed my advice and duck behind bookstore shelves. He will introduce himself as...Marcus Tellurius or M. (G)odson Taylor...or Vivain Darkbloom...or perhaps V. Sirin. He will be in the philosophy section, reading Lacan and Zizek and fearing the Invisible Mexicans.
from self--titled :
i think you're awesome. i'm adding you; if you don't mind.
from raven72d :
summer is soul-killing... but do write us about more things...
from hairplay :
I like your hair, in the heart tattoo picture. My hair looks sort of like that, only not blonde... Before... When it was freshly cut.
from raven72d :
I thought it was "millions now living will never *buy*..." Having Ayn Rand on your shoulder is a dreadful, dreadful thing.
from hothead :
god, you're fantastic.
from raven72d :
Ummm... great photo: reds and greens, the small pale strip of bare hip and stomach... Great photo, but...strangely incoherent entry...
from inacrumbling :
wondering how you were able to 'copyright' your diary? i've been thinking of doing that myself ...
from raven72d :
Do you remember Annie Lennox singing "Here Comes the Rain Again"? Late night rain is always lovely.
from candoor :
I'll use any excuse to get back here... remembering being fourteen years old is just one of them...
from raven72d :
In Tokyo there are Shinto temples to Hello Kitty. Always a good sign in a religion.
from raven72d :
I used to spend entire Saturdays-- 09h00 til 18h00 at the university library on line... If I had wi-fi ("wiffy") I would be on line 24/7/366 a leap year, sending off e-mail ("Emil") and reading diaries and leaving comments and posting at discussion groups.
from raven72d :
I loved the photo of the two of you from the party. And I hope you did snag the warning sign.
from jburnage :
I've been reading your journals for about a month now (plus I read from the beginning) and this is the first time I ever saw your banner... you are cool people... far cooler people than I.
from raven72d :
I hope you'll look over my last few entries and then help me find Bertrand Russell's missing white rhinoceros. Lightning here, too...and thunder out of a deep-grey sky. Please do think about contributing to the "independent life" essay. "American Psycho" is a brilliantly funny comedy of manners. The restaurant menus-- "free-range squid" --are wonderful. And Patrick is clever and insightful enough to see that Bono is Satan. Meanwhile-- say hullo! to Punchy for me (and me and Ludwig Wittgenstein both). Punchy seems like a most pettable little ex-dinosaur.
from c2c :
hiiii,added u to my favorite. i like u dress in color and write colorfully! good luck
from raven72d :
"MC Lake Eerie" is wonderful. And I wish I could still write you letters as cool as a 14-year old.
from candoor :
birds say the darndest things... and long may you write.
from pterals :
Is that a Spa 'blauw' bottle of water in that latest photo? Damn, I miss Holland!
from raven72d :
I think you should tell Punchy that Davis Grubb's "Ancient Lights" is more fun than "Infinite Jest"... The black sheet is wonderful-- not as a hijab, but as the ghost costume Charlie Brown wore at Halloween... My freind James (who married the Alien Spore Mold) used to claim that the Monolith in "2001: A Space Odyssey" was stalking him. It didn't expand his intelligence, however.
from raven72d :
Steph is lovely and alluring. Hamilton is a good name for a dog... Though I want a beagle named Frederick or a corgi named Burton... What indeed *is* Telefon Telaviv...?
from oliana :
I don't know where you were in that picture in the entry (dream the dream the dream) but I so want to be there.
from raven72d :
A whole century of Floppy McEarstix entries... yay, 100! And you do have to pick a good country to move to... What are our Choose Your Own Adventure options for your life in fall 2004?
from super-suzan :
Happy 100 entries!
from hemeofu :
Because passenger trains across prairies cost more than they're worth to the people who end up paying for them. Why hidden? The cloth sack thing is called a bindlestiff. Girlish disregard of punctuation is an affectation, like the bikini, best left behind.
from scar-r-ed :
i added you to my favourites, having clicked on your banner twice (some months apart) and enjoyed both times. if you want a password etc, note me and i'll let you know. or feel free to ignore me :) -elf
from raven72d :
Quigley seems most pettable.
from raven72d :
Anyone can cook. Don't think of it as an art. Listen to Alton Brown. It's about procedure and technique. You can play concert piano. If you can memorize a score, you can follow a recipe. And-- get better spices. How can you live without Tony Chachere's or Konriko Greek Seasoning? You may need a CARE package...
from pterals :
The first time I have been truly thrilled by clicking on a banner. Brilliant, honest, sad and reflexive and intuitive at times...god, it sounds like I'm writing a book review. Whatever. How about: You write good. I like good write. You go write? I go read. I read now.
from raven72d :
When you phoned Thoreau, did you ask him if her had Prince Albert in a can...or ask if his refrigerator was running? (Classics are always best) Now... what would happen if you interviewed Wittgenstein...?
from candoor :
you know something (well, you know a lot of things, but here's something I just figured out), I forgot you had notes turned on... do I avoid well or what? (much what)
from coldandgray :
It is embarrassing, but my post today was about you. I will delete it if it makes you uncomfortable...
from raven72d :
A cell-phone tree... I'm thinking of a Nokia tree, scented like mulberries.
from betholindo :
Amsterdam is definitely a badass place too live. At least, I'm having a blast. Come back over!
from coldandgray :
Total utter beauty
from raven72d :
"Steinbeck weather" is wonerful as a phrase... And I have to like a girl who likes ponies. Ponies are Our Friends. What happened to the bone in your forearm? Is the scar related to the coma? You're one of the writers here (the lovely Apparitional is another) who should be turning your entries into a book...
from banefulvenus :
Clicked on your banner.... loved the site. You are damn amazing love.... :)
from softplaces :
i admire you.
from akg07 :
I have never read anything like this before. I saw your diary on a banner and have been reading it, clicking out, and coming back to read more since around 10, it's 4 in the morning.Your diary is amazing. Write a book.
from bill13 :
I've been reading your diary, oddly enough. Incredible. Great writing, interesting perspectives.
from raven72d :
The story about the goose... When I was four, I was bitten by a swan. I've never forgiven swans.
from raven72d :
drug run + firecrackers = bad idea. drug run + painting = much, much better idea. Very..."Trading Spaces" meets "Liquid Sky"... But what *are* the best drugs for house painting?
from beagle47 :
banner + click x (two reads) = dog impressed. fascinating. hope i remember where i found this.
from betholindo :
Your scare tactics are disappointing. You know you're better than that.
from meli-melo :
Such a sad letter. I am so glad that I am not 15 anymore.
from acornotravez :
Hey. Just wanted to let you know I read your diary and like what you write and how you write it. Cheers.
from raven72d :
I love it that you wear a scarf even in summer in Europe.
from raven72d :
And how is the new house?
from raven72d :
The Venice photo was lovely... And I hope you'll keep writing... Technically...since I did have my heart stop in an allergic reaction when I was two...my messages are from beyond the grave. But I do look forward to your entries. Always.
from lovecomplex :
You're an idiot. Death is not something you can make fun of. People care about you. Don't ever let them take that away.
from coldandgray :
hmmm...very nice. You are beloved by so many, but I guess that is metaphorical too.
from arabella87 :
i love your diary..is it ok if i add you? if it isnt just yell at me :)
from barbiewoman :
If she died on the 27th- Then why did you put it in on the 21st?
from barbiewoman :
If she died on the 27th- Then why did you put it in on the 21st?
from natinski :
I wish there's someone who could verify this.
from schmaddie :
oh my god. you really can't be serious. oh my god.
from raven72d :
www.absintheonline.com I'm told it's a reliable source... though at about $120 a bottle...
from lost-visions :
well thats a kick in the teeth...
from je-motion :
You have such a splendid diary.
from qwert :
You have a traveling chess set? Does that mean you play chess?!?
from raven72d :
The photo with "Sometimes" is charming and lovely. And I am waitingto buy my own copy of "Little Machine"...
from kissthisfist :
customs people are the collective anti-christ.
from radiogurl :
Don't let the morons ruin it for you. They're everywhere, I know, but there are also cool people everywhere. Glad you made it back.
from nisayon :
You have a good eye to see eight cavities :)
from o-twinkle-o :
.. [sigh.] you're the kind of cool all cool people should be. just so you know.
from raven72d :
Yay! Great to have you back! And do you find the most interesting images for your entries! I will look for the album, too.
from jburnage :
agreed, good to see that you are back safely.
from galaxyrabbit :
YAY!!! you updated!!! the boyfriend and i were worried. :)
from raven72d :
I do hope for a postcard fom Europe... And I hope you'll update soon...
from metafouric :
i got hooked. just wanted u 2 know. it was the banner's doing/
from raven72d :
Do update...! We all miss you!!
from iamhubpluh :
I 'Ich gebe Ihnen eine spritze' is German not Italian. figured it was a typo or somthing. I honestly don't know how you maintain all that you do. You are really an insperation to anyone attempting to keep a family together. Keep fighting the good fight!
from kissthisfist :
your diary is one of my favourite stops here at d-land. in that non-stalking creepy arse way. just thought you might want to know. keep in touch if you feel the need.
from raven72d :
I have a portrait photo for you when your stateside e-mail works again...
from chocochipw :
du bist supertoll.
from riinamiriam :
:0)
from raven72d :
When do you return to the States? I'm so fascinated with that BART "no eye contact" sign...
from expatriot :
the banner brought me.
from poolagirl :
I stumbled upon you via radiogurl. She's right. You are amazing and magnificent. I loved the entry about your kid crushing the groceries. She's lucky to have you.
from greentealeaf :
mmm .. foucault. i adore that guy. (and my bloody valentine are adorable too.) nice diary, thanks for giving me a glimpse of what life is like outside the cage.
from radiogurl :
I found your diary by a banner and as haunting as your writing is, it's also breathtakingly beautiful. I hope that the time comes when you find peace and a degree of happiness.
from backflip029 :
i dont believe in chance or luck... why would your banner have popped on me? and compelled me to write? there is spirit in us all... there is a commonality in all these notes, yes?
from dont-stop :
"I truly believe that man's arrival on this planet can be attributed to cosmic consequence, incidence, accident. We are... here, without divine guidance, arbitrary and alone, children left alone in a candy shop." I totally agree.
from raven72d :
A rain of hypodermics... I wouldn't be at all surprised in the Bologna rail terminal. Really...no surprise. But-- were any of the syringes *yours*? And the BART sign was too brilliant for words.
from raven72d :
My apologies for things. Really. I hope you'll still ind me worth reading...and worth sending notes and postcards to.
from raven72d :
Of course I'm afraid. I'd like to have some shred of self-respect left, some belief in myself as worth something. But my looks, build, place of birth, age, height, lack of social graces or social status, place of residence, finances, and career all make attractive girls either look straight through me or look at me with contempt. If girls valued intelligence and arcane knowledge separated from all the items listed above, I might be able to speak to them. I might even be able to board an aircraft or drive over a bridge.
from o-twinkle-o :
.. [.] unquote.
from raven72d :
Tall? Tall is good, too.
from raven72d :
Venice is a favorite city of mine... And autumn is my favorite season for it. I hope you will read this while sitting at Otisanek and write me a card from Venice... In spring and summer the whole population of Germany arrives in Venice in tour groups... But Venice is autumn is all in such rich, melancholy shades... I love the city.
from raven72d :
Your Austin mailbox is "disabled"... *Sigh*. But do drop me a card from Italia... And get published!
from coldandgray :
When you get published, let me know & I will buy many copies. That black & white cat is jiffy's (my cat) Doppelganger.
from raven72d :
The Amsterdam thoughts are wonderful.
from thisisjohn :
quite lovely indeed.
from jcruelty :
nothing listed under vital stuff; is nothing vital?
from memory-6 :
hey, the banner brought me into your world and now im afraid i just cant leave. I know it might seem kind of rude, but you always talk about your parents deaths... may i ask how they died? leave a note for me with the answer or email me at vampire_goddess230@hotmail.com
from anna-spanna :
I clicked on your banner and i was impressed with what i found! You are right about Madamme Tussards; it is really freaky!! I will be back to read more. Anna<3x
from pirategirl :
I'm a banner clicker and... you're beautiful.
from neangel :
by way of banner i came. love the daily pics that are posted.
from raven72d :
The Miles Davis entry was a delightful find on a Sunday morning. Great writing-- great photo, too. And the night before I'd been talking to a friend in Chicago about DXM; she'd had bad things to say about what could happen with it. Swimming underwater with penguins is a great image, though. And, yes-- Mme. Tussaud's is Vur' creepy. Enjoy London-- and do write sometime.
from coldandgray :
Truly talented with a complex & Multifaceted psyche. And you are Smart, too! I love your diary & am seriously glad I get to read you.
from raven72d :
Wonderful new perpexed-looking kitty.
from kelly :
You rock my socks. Hardcore.
from science-girl :
I envy your travel schedule...
from raven72d :
The entry about your sister and boys was brilliantly funny. And "autonomous orb of light" isn't such a bad goal for your life. By the way-- I do hope your diary entries turn into a book one day. And you have made me suddenly want to watch "2001" again.
from invisibledon :
i'm not sure how I ended up here but hey anyway
from pillydivine :
wonderful words...
from raven72d :
Are you really thinking of India? And exactly which ancient sea creatures do you fancy?
from sullylover :
I love the way you write, you make me feel so small and insignificant, but in a good way. You make me want to change the world, or a least my role in it.
from dinky-creek :
I just felt I should leave a note to let you know you're now on my Favourites list. Your style of writing is great. I generally don't bother writing down my philosophical thoughts (laziness is a harsh yet tempting mistress), so I enjoy reading the words of someone who does.
from raven72d :
I hope you mean a box o'diapers and not...your own soiled ones.
from deadish :
hello. you are astounding. ^_^ just wanted to let you know.
from raven72d :
I've never been in a coma. But I did grow up in southern Louisiana. Does that count?
from gypped :
as someone who recently deferred my course at uni, I feel the saddened glances my parents pass me, and understand just what you're writing about. I'm thinking of fleeing overseas, never to be seen or heard from again, rather than have to deal with their disappointment.
from fridayfilms :
Hi. I've been reading you for a while now. I don't know you or anything, but I have to say that anyone would be proud to have you as a daughter, just as you are. Don't doubt that.
from raven72d :
When did the dropout decision occur? And does Audrey like Thai food?
from raven72d :
Autechre... Can you tell me about them? And crackers...hmmm...I like Waverley Wafers. A lot.
from raven72d :
Soggy crackers? Would they be...soda crackers?
from gypped :
hi, I've liked your diary for a long time. well, for a while. only a little bit. okay, I don't like you at all.
from raven72d :
"Inchoate" is a good word. Not-- do you wear neckties? Do you believe in the Psyduck? Aphex Twin is vur' good... I was once bitten by a swan.
from heartanalog :
damn you, i was up until 2 reading these pages. serves you right for being so interesting. oooh someone who likes my bloody valentine. yum. swans, anyone? and i'll be damned if i saw the word inchoate in there somewhere. capital.
from aidawrites :
Clicked on your banner and then i read all your entries. I like the way you write, I dont run into girls with philosophical minds, ever.
from raven72d :
Great photo... And one day I hope to her about the book you wote in NYC... And about the chalk drawings. And perhaps I'll tell you about the game show "Wheel of Foucault"...
from raven72d :
Thanks...I think. I will be looking forward to the card... I hope you'll try again from Iceland-- with LA as the state. Are you on a laptop or in an internet cafe in Keflavik or Reykjavik? I do enjoy your diary vur' much, by the way.
from solarlab :
you are amazing.
from stevecoffey :
Happy birthday, have fun tussin'.
from lookin4liz :
Rad your diary a lot...I was gonna tell you to have a great trip, but instead am saying that I understand the situation at hand, because Iwent through it five years ago myself...If you need to talk, look me up. ~liz
from miss-honesty :
Happy birthday, though I do think I am a bit late. just wanted to say hey.

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